Chapter 117.2

I’d rather my mother lose her memory so she was happy, but that was my arrogance and delusion.

My mother… knew she had lost her memory. No, her memories were already back.

“I’d rather… let her live without her memories… Why do you want to remember everything? Just, just have fun and be happy. Just let our Bebe grow up… Why… Why… Why did you bring back all those memories?”

My heart stung as if someone had sprinkled salt on my heart. I had to run to my mom right away, but my whole body hardened.

Naturally, I thought my mother had lost her memory. There was a time where I suddenly felt strange, but I forgot about it because I thought I was happy.

To be honest, I thought it was a relief that my mother didn’t remember anything. She forgot all the memories at the palace, all the stories about the past that you told us, and all the pain.

She also forgot about the memories of us together, but I thought we could make them again.

‘It wasn’t…’

“How am I supposed to live… to have memories that shouldn’t be happy… to be happy… to lose my child… to make Ellin die… and leave only painful memories for both of them… I-I… How do you live with that guilt…”

I didn’t understand why my mother wanted to leave like this.

I thought we would just be happy here, eat good things with me, wear nice clothes and enjoy things we’ve never enjoyed before.

My mom had a hard time too. That’s why it was enough. That’s why I told my mom not to leave.

“In Ellin’s place… enjoying things that Ellin deserves… I can’t live like that…”

Tears dripped down. My mother, who was always strong, pretended to be strong in front of me.

“I already love him… how should I live? Now that I’ve become greedy, I’m… I…”

I promised myself that it would never happen, and that I would not come forward for no reason. It felt like I was peeking, but my instinct led me to my mom.

“Mom…”

Suddenly, I approached and hugged my mom, and she trembled in surprise.

“B-Bebe… you weren’t asleep…?”

“I just woke up.”

“Yes, that’s right. You’re not sleeping anymore…”

As if she was afraid to even ask if I heard it or not, Mom hurriedly wiped her eyes and got up from her seat.

“Mom.”

“Shall we sleep together? Did you wake up because you were sleeping alone? I’m sorry Mommy wasn’t taking care of you.”

Mom reached out her hand as if she was going to take me to bed right away, but I just whined and climbed the window frame where she was sitting.

“Mom.”

“Yes?”

“I know.”

“What?”

“Mom… ‘I don’t remember if I’m your mom’… Didn’t you say that?”

My mother’s gaze, which was still looking at me, stuck to me. My mother’s lips trembled as if embarrassment and various other emotions mixed.

“So it was a little weird.”

“Did you…”

“Yes, that’s why my mom had her memories returned.”

“Bebe.”

How much pain must she have felt every night after her memory returned? I didn’t know that, I didn’t know what my mother was thinking or how she was feeling.

“Mom… you’ve had a hard time, right?”

Rather than hating her for not telling me, I thought about how I felt like crying at the thought of how hard it must’ve been for my mother.

“No, Bebe, Mom is… Mom is…”

Mom tried to shake her head as if she was trying to make an excuse, but her eyes, which had dried up before, were wet with golden tears again.

“Mom…”

“No… Mom remembers her…”

“You’re back. It’s okay, you don’t have to hide it, Mom…”

Only then did my mother, who was looking at me while standing, collapse. There was no sound, but my mom’s shaking shoulders seemed to tell me that she was crying.

Why was my mother hurt? Why does she need to be in so much pain?

Mom didn’t do anything wrong.

Yet she was the one who’s hurt the most.

Just thinking about it made me cry. For a while, only the sound of rough breathing could be heard.

I had to approach my mom and comfort her, but my body couldn’t move. I thought my mom would be in more pain if I consoled her, so I waited for a long time to pass.

After a while, my mom opened her mouth.

“A few days ago…”

“Huh?”

“I had a dream. I’ve never dreamed about her after I got separated from Ellin, but after a long time… I had a dream… as if she was alive… as if she knew everything… and Ellin smiled at me.”

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