Chapter 6

Chapter 6

SOON, A TYPICAL SUMMER was in full swing. The temperature rose, and I sat with Skank-san, eating ice cream and bathing in the wind of an electric fan.

“It’s weird, when the breeze from the fan hits it, the ice cream always seems to melt faster.”

“That’s because when the wind blows, it sends all the warm air onto it.”

“Even this cool breeze?”

“Cool as far as you’re concerned. But it’s still warmer than the ice cream, isn’t it?”

I was so moved I thought my eyes might fall out of their sockets. Skank-san really was far sharper than I. However, not even she knew anything about why Minami-san had disappeared. It truly was a mystery.

“Life is like a watermelon.”

“And what does that mean?”

“You can chew up most of it,” I said. “But there are some little bitty parts that you still can’t eat.”

“Aha ha, that’s true. But even if you can’t eat them, you can still bury them somewhere for them to sprout into something new.”

“Whoa.”

“Say, little lady, are you full yet?”

“Not at all. Hitomi-sensei said that your appetite goes away in summer, but that’s just another mystery to me, cuz when it’s hot out I use up all my energy, so I have to eat lots!”

“Then I have a favor to ask of you. Could you run to the supermarket and buy us a wedge of watermelon?”

“I can do that!”

I proudly accepted the money from Skank-san and put my yellow socks back on. She would stay behind, freshening up for work. I loved ice cream, of course, but watermelon was one of my other favorite things. It was a wonderful thing that Skank-san loved the same things that I did.

“Maybe she was a ghost,” said Skank-san.

She rubbed lotion into her face as I downed some barley tea before heading out into the afternoon sun.

“What do you mean?” I asked.

“Minami-san.”

I had not even considered that Minami-san might have been a ghost. I tried recalling her face.

“But she wasn’t see-through or anything. She had legs and stuff. I think if anything she’s probably more like a Totoro than a ghost.”

“Ha ha, I see. In that case, you’ll probably see her again, while you’re still a child.”

That might be true, I thought. I couldn’t wait for the day when I’d get to see her again.

“I’m going now!”

I donned my shoes, shoved the money into my pocket, and headed to the nearby supermarket with my little friend, who had been rolling around in the shadows.

It was fortunate that I drank that tea before heading out, I thought. Outside, it was sweltering, heat radiating from the sun and from the ground and the walls of the buildings as well. Without that tea, I might’ve shriveled up into a tiny mummy before I made it to the market.

My dark-furred friend, not suited to the summer sun, sought out the shadows. That makes sense, I thought, as she wore neither shoes nor socks on her four little feet. Of course, I had to carry her through the spots where there were no shadows. As I carried her, she sang all the while. “Meow meow!”

I sang along with her. “Happiness won’t cooome, wandering my way sooo…”

“Meow meow!”

As we reached the supermarket, there were tons of people going in and out of the automatic doors. I could not help imagining the shop itself eating watermelon and spitting out the seeds. I became a bit of a roadblock as I stood there in front of the doors, enjoying the cool breeze that came out from within, like an exhalation.

“Okay, you wait right here now.”

“Meow.”

The nice shadowy spot that I found for her had a prior occupant: a large yellow dog with a collar around his neck, many times bigger than her. Not showing the slightest hint of fear, she sat down beside him. Suddenly aware of her presence, he looked at her and she looked at him, and for some time they carried on like that. Oh my, was this the start of a new romance?

Although I worried whether a wicked girl like her could truly bring happiness to an upstanding fellow like him, I decided not to interfere. I left them behind, and quietly entered through the automatic doors.

I greeted the security guard as always. The guard, who stood watch near the doorway just like a watchman from a fairytale, respectfully returned my greeting. Initially, I had assumed security guards were policemen out on an errand, but the elderly guard reminded me of a sorcerer and had explained once that guards were allies of justice, guarding the gates of this marketplace.

As I stepped within, a myriad of smells floated to my tiny nose.

I loved coming to bigger supermarkets. No matter how many times I visited, I always found things I had never seen before, never eaten before, and all of my favorite things buried among them. It brought me the same joy that I felt when searching for a wonderful book.

I found the watermelons quickly. There were round, uncut ones; and ones cut into triangular wedges. I found a wedge that was just big enough for me and Skank-san, and placed it into my shopping basket. There were also some square-shaped melons there. Having never seen such a thing before, I was shocked. Seeing how much money it would take to buy one of them, I quickly understood that even when it came to melons, things that were different were more costly.

Although I had already found what I had come here for, I decided to look around some more. I had no intention of interfering with my friend’s romantic pursuits, and I wished to stay inside this cool place just a little bit longer.

I saw fish and vegetables, and as I looked at the recipe cards beside the baking supplies, thinking how I wanted to be like Granny someday, a voice suddenly called to me.

“Koyanagi-san!”

I turned around at the familiar voice. I wonder whether my face was as bright as that day’s sun. “Oh hey, Ogiwara-kun! Here to shop?”

“Yeah, my mom sent me out here. You?”

“I came to buy some watermelon. It’s hot out.”

“Yeah, it’s pretty hot today. I want to go out to some cold planet, like the Little Prince.”

A very Ogiwara-kun reply, I thought. As far as I was aware, he and I were the only ones in our class who had read that book. I had not spoken to him since the time I told him the story about the baobab tree. At school, he was always talking to someone else, so I was thrilled at the chance to converse with him again.

We talked for some time about The Memoirs of a White Elephant, which he had finished reading. Was it five minutes? Ten? I quickly forgot that I had come on an errand for Skank-san.

I only remembered my objective when I looked down at the watermelon in my hands. While the idea of leaving gnawed at me, I could not keep my beloved Skank-san waiting. It was time for me to go.

Ogiwara-kun and I were not friends. We only talked to each other from time to time. We had never eaten lunch, or even a snack together. Plus, I was not the only one who Ogiwara-kun spoke to. He was like that with everyone in the class, even Kiriyuu. Even so, I was able to converse with him as easily as I could with Skank-san, or Minami-san. He was the only one in our class who was as clever as me.

My wedge of watermelon was growing lukewarm and I switched it out with another. Then I finally took my place in line at the register. After a short while in line, I handed my watermelon to the lady at the register and paid.

“Running errands?” she said. “That’s impressive, little lady.”

I did not think that was impressive at all. “Thank you, but I don’t think that’s true.”

I got a white shopping bag and stuffed the watermelon into it. Then back to Skank-san’s place…or so I thought.

I froze as I heard a loud voice.

I couldn’t believe it.

It was just like a scene out of one of the mystery novels I had read.

The sound was coming from the entrance of the supermarket, a cacophony of loud voices. Startled, I looked towards the commotion to see two guards holding someone down. Nearby I saw another guard, pressing at his own face as though to check for injury. The loud voices were coming from the three people on the floor.

“Don’t move!” one of the guards yelled, as incoherent shouting echoed through the supermarket.

I had no idea why, but the person on the ground sounded like they wanted to hurt someone. I could not will my legs to move.

What was going on? I didn’t understand, but I was quite uneasy. I churned the gears inside my little head.

“Must be a shoplifter,” said one of the adults nearby.

A shoplifter? I knew what that was. It was a thief.

Had that man been caught stealing? That much I could understand. Even though I understood this, I still could not bring myself to move.

It was only when the guards warned off the people standing around snapping pictures on their cellphones that my legs decided to move. At the time, I still did not have a phone of my own. Even if I did, I had no interest in taking photos of bad people. I could not see their face, but there was no doubt that they were scary. The thief was taken away, but the murmuring around the store continued.

People scattered like a swarm of ants, and I took advantage of the opening to make my exit. I wished I could have left this place just a second sooner, before such a scary thing had happened. I glanced over as I left, seeing dots of red where the battle had occurred. I quickly averted my eyes and rushed outside, my chest heaving with breath. I desperately needed to open up that window into my heart. That warm air soaked lovingly into my chilled thoughts.

“Meow.”

I looked down to find my little friend looking my way, almost glaring. The yellow dog was already gone.

“What’s that look for? I didn’t forget about you. A lot of things happened in there. Let’s get back to Skank-san’s place.”

I tried my best to forget what had just happened and I walked with my disgruntled friend in tow. I sang, carried her even when it wasn’t necessary, and asked her about the yellow dog. Still, a fog lingered over my heart. It felt very much like the time I heard my mother and father shouting at each other.

I had the courage and the righteousness to admonish people when they were doing wrong. If I’d seen that person stealing, I surely would have said something. So why was my heart so hazy to see them apprehended? I couldn’t understand. I had witnessed something dreadful. That was all I could feel.

This haziness continued even after I arrived back at Skank-san’s place. I ought to have asked her about it while she was chilling the watermelon for us. However, I had no interest in talking. I didn’t wish to put it into words and find those sights and sounds floating back up to the surface of my mind. Thus, I decided to only talk about pleasant things.

“I saw a boy from my class at the market. We talked for a bit.”

“Oh, you made a friend in class? I’m so glad to hear that. I was worried that you didn’t have any friends at school.”

“He’s not a friend. We never talk about anything important, or meet up to hang out. Plus, I already have you, and this little one, and Minami-san, and Granny.”

“You should make friends with the kids in your class, too. Just like me, and Minami-san, and Granny. Why don’t you?”

“That’s easy. There’s too much distance between our hearts.”

Skank-san opened her mouth as though to say something, but stopped herself. “I see,” she said at last, with a thin laugh.

For some reason, as I continued to speak, the smile on her face grew wider and wider.

“That boy isn’t my friend, but I like talking with him. He’s smart and he knows a lot about books. I wish I could talk to him more, but he’s nice to everyone. I wish he’d talk more to me, instead of to all those empty-headed idiots in our class.”

“Oh?” She stopped lining her eyebrows with a pencil and looked at me. The look on her face was not the sparkling smile she usually wore, but a sly grin. When adults made faces like that, they were always thinking something devilish. “I think you really like that boy.”

“Yeah, well, I guess even I can like a classmate sometimes.”

There was one more classmate I might be able to like if he could just grow a spine, but there was no sign of such a thing happening. Class observation day aside, he only ever ran away from me.

“That’s not what I mean,” she said.

“It’s not?”

“You’re in love with that boy, aren’t you?”

I’m sure I was just imagining it, but I could feel my whole face about to burst. “No way. I don’t even know anything about him.”

“That doesn’t really matter.”

“Love means you want to marry someone, doesn’t it? I definitely haven’t thought about that.”

“Marriage isn’t all there is to love.”

“What is love, then?”

“I don’t really know. I’m sure you’ll understand it though, with that sharp brain of yours, little lady.”

I could not conceive of the idea of there being something I knew that Skank-san did not. I knew that love and marriage existed. However, I had no interest in running away with Ogiwara-kun as the lovers in stories did, nor did I wish to gaze deeply into his eyes. I just wanted to talk to him.

As we ate the watermelon, I decided to ask Skank-san a question. “Is there anyone who you want to marry?”

“Nope. I don’t think I’m really the marrying type.”

“Why not?”

She looked up at the ceiling and hummed to herself, thinking, before she replied.

“It’s like a crème brûlée. It’s fine that you can only see the sweet parts of love when you’re a child. In fact, it’s absolutely wonderful. Everyone knows that. But when you’re an adult, you realize that the bitter parts of the pudding are there as well, and sooner or later, you will have to eat them. But it’s not like coffee and beer. I hate the bitter parts of love. But it’s a lot of work to avoid them, so eventually I just stopped wanting to eat it at all.”

“This is complicated.”

Far more than math, or cooking, I thought.

“I mean, there’s plenty of people who don’t get married these days, anyway.”

“I don’t think I’ll get married when I grow up, either. Life is like a bed.”

“What do you mean by that?”

“A single is enough for sleeping.”

Skank-san stared at me for a beat, and then gave the greatest laugh I had ever heard. I was thrilled that she enjoyed my joke, and munched the watermelon joyfully.

“Was that meaning intentional?” she asked me.

Not understanding the question itself, I just tilted my head.

That night, as always, I grew sleepy around ten o’clock, mulling over all sorts of things. I snuggled into my warm bed and went to sleep.

The next day, when I arrived at school, an unfathomable rumor was going around: Kiriyuu-kun’s father had been arrested for stealing.

There was no way that such a kind man could have done such a thing, I thought. I wanted to force Kiriyuu-kun to say that this was a lie, but this turned out to be impossible.

Kiriyuu-kun had not come to school that day, and when I asked Hitomi-sensei about it, I was unable to learn a thing.

For the next few days I was without my usual partner. While Kiriyuu-kun was absent, I paired up with Hitomi-sensei during our ongoing happiness discussions. I did not dislike this new arrangement. In fact, I relished it, but I still could not help but be concerned about the rumors surrounding Kiriyuu-kun. I was particularly concerned because if the rumors were true, there was a chance it was related to the scene I had witnessed. And Kiriyuu-kun’s gentle father did not appear to be the sort of person who would do such a bad thing.

It was six days, with the weekend in between, before Kiriyuu showed up at school again. When I migrated from the library to the classroom, just before Hitomi-sensei’s arrival, I saw him climbing up the stairs.

“Good morning, Kiriyuu-kun.”

I waited until he reached the same level as me before greeting him. Perhaps he did not know I was there because he looked at me, eyes wide and shoulders trembling. He looked like he might jump out of his skin on the spot.

“K-K-Koyanagi-san.”

“Been a while. Were you on vacation?”

I could only hope. However, he just hung his head, and gave no reply.

“I understand how you feel,” I said, and when he did not respond, I kept talking. “It’s really hot in Japan right now. I wish I could go somewhere cooler.”

He lifted his face a little and looked at me, but still said nothing.

When I entered the classroom, no one said anything to me as usual, or even looked my way. However, when Kiriyuu-kun came in, all conversation stopped and all eyes turned on him.

It should have been a blessing, having everyone’s attention on him, but instead it felt like a cold wind. I wondered if Kiriyuu might just freeze to death. Despite my worries, there was no chance for this to happen as Hitomi-sensei soon entered. That was just like her, always punctual. As she came into the classroom, greeting us loudly and drawing the class’s attention, Kiriyuu and I took the opportunity to slip to the back and take our seats.

I thought that Hitomi-sensei might have some explanation as to why Kiriyuu-kun had been out of school, but she did not say anything. She gave her morning announcements as though Kiriyuu had not missed a single day, then left the classroom again.

“Hitomi-sensei!”

I ran after her as she departed. She did not show the same surprise that Kiriyuu-kun had earlier. Perhaps she knew that I was following her, and that I wished to ask her a question. She smiled when she turned around, but I could see the sort of serious expression adults made when they had something unpleasant to say.

“What’s the matter, Koyanagi-san? Are you having trouble looking over your math homework for next period?”

“No, my homework is perfect. But Sensei, there’s something I want to know.”

“What…?”

“It’s about Kiriyuu-kun.”

Although she was still smiling, she bit her lip and took me to an unoccupied classroom down the hall. I never minded having a secret conversation.

She crouched down to meet my eye, and whispered in a voice much softer than usual. I was finally going to learn something. I listened with rapt attention.

“Have there ever been times when you didn’t want to come to school?” she asked.

“Every day,” I replied. “But I still come, because I want to grow smarter. And because I like seeing you.”

She gave a complicated smile. “Well then, I’m sure you have days when you absolutely don’t want to come, like the last day of summer vacation, and Mondays, right?”

Surely enough, there were plenty of times at the end of weekends and vacations when I had wished that I could use magic, and so I nodded. When I did, she nodded back.

“Right? So it takes a lot of courage and power of heart to come to school on those days.”

“And delicious sweets.”

“Yes, indeed. So, even though Kiriyuu-kun had to take some time off from school to do some important things, it took a lot of courage and heart for him to come back today after all that time away, you know?”

“I get it.”

All the more for a coward like Kiriyuu-kun, I thought.

When I nodded, she smiled happily.

“I might be able to prepare some delicious sweets for later, but in the meanwhile, Kiriyuu-kun will need allies in the classroom to help him summon up that courage and strength. I want you to be one of those allies.”

“But I was never his enemy.”

“That’s true. So I want you to stay as you are, then. Just talk to him, and sit next to him, and eat lunch with him, like you always do. Can you do that?”

“I can do that much. It’s not like he’s sprouted a horn out of his head.”

She tittered. Her expression was like the one she had worn when I gave my presentation on observation day. “I’m glad I can count on you. If Kiriyuu-kun still seems like he’s having a hard time, even with your help, come and tell me, okay? He probably won’t be able to tell me himself.”

“Because he’s spineless.”

“That’s not it. He couldn’t have come to school today if he wasn’t courageous.”

Kiriyuu-kun? Courageous? I could not accept this from her words alone, but I still nodded and bid her farewell.

What was this important business that Kiriyuu had needed to attend to? I pondered it as I returned to the classroom. I decided to ask him about it later. Hitomi-sensei told me to act normal around him, so that much should be fine.

When I entered the classroom, I could feel a chilled air circulating around Kiriyuu-kun. I approached him to break through that cyclone.

“Excuse me,” I said, pushing aside Kiriyuu-kun’s drooping bangs.

He looked utterly shocked, but I had cleanly parted his hair, allowing me to get a clear look at his forehead. Sure enough, I found nothing there. I took my seat, and he looked at me with surprise and curiosity.

“Hitomi-sensei was making such a serious face I was worried you might’ve sprouted a horn. It’s good that you don’t have one. Sorry for the surprise.”

Even as I gave a clear explanation for my behavior, the shock and curiosity did not drain from his eyes. He was the same cowardly Kiriyuu-kun as always.

I decided I would ask him about his important business when it was time to go home. I was always alone at the end of the day, and so was he. All I had to do was pull him aside and ask him. Or so I thought, but life is just like a father.

In other words, you never get your way.

“Yo, your dad’s a thief, isn’t he?”

It happened during afternoon break. Usually after lunch, when Hitomi-sensei was away and the classroom was noisy, most of the children went to play out in the yard, or to the music room to toy with the piano. But today, several chose to stay and pay a visit to Kiriyuu-kun. Naturally, it was those idiot boys.

Normally I would jump directly into the fray, but for now I chose to watch and let things run their course. Whether the rumors about Kiriyuu’s father were true or not, I knew that people were going to be saying bad things about him from now on. If only he had courage, I thought, he would be able to stave off these terrible things on his own.

I held off on starting a fight to see what Kiriyuu-kun would say, but all he did was hang his head, like always.

This is no good, I thought. These boys’ idiocy was such that, if their opponent said nothing, they mistook it as a sign that they were righteous.

“I heard from my mom that your dad was caught stealing from a supermarket in Ni-chome.”

I pondered this as I watched Kiriyuu-kun’s face. Sure enough, the scene I witnessed at the supermarket had become attributed to Kiriyuu-kun’s father. Still, I did not know if it was true.

Kiriyuu said nothing and looked at no one, still hanging his head.

This did not please the idiots.

“Makes sense some picture-drawing weirdo would have a bad guy for a dad.”

Still Kiriyuu-kun said nothing.

“Oh yeah, when Takahashi’s ruler went missing, bet that was your fault, wasn’t it?”

Nothing still.

“The son of a thief’s gotta be a thief, too. Glad I wasn’t born into a family like yours.”

Ah, sorry I can’t keep waiting, Kiriyuu-kun…

“Are you all really that stupid?” I said.

The idiots’ eyes fell on me all at once.

“Oh? I don’t believe I said who was stupid. I guess you all realized it yourselves.”

“Huh?”

The boys—the chief idiot in particular—glared at me. I wasn’t afraid. What I felt towards Kiriyuu-kun was far stronger than that. I took it out on those boys instead, but the one I really wished to shout at was Kiriyuu-kun.

You coward.

“The child of a thief is a thief? What evidence do you have of that? Did you really think that ‘thief’ was the name of an animal or something? By that logic, that must mean that your mother and father are both idiots, the same as you. But they aren’t idiots. I’m sure even an idiot like you had a proper upbringing—which means that you turned into an idiot all on your own. I feel sorry for your parents, to have such a huge idiot for a child.”

The boy’s face was growing redder and redder. He was angry. Even his reactions were idiotic. Still, I preferred his reaction to Kiriyuu’s. He still could not find it in himself to grow angry, even when the people most precious to him were being ridiculed. It was only my promise to Hitomi-sensei that kept me from saying any of this to Kiriyuu-kun.

The idiot boys looked as if they were ready to throw something at me. But unlike them, I was clever. I had plenty of words to throw back.

“Anyway, it’s just a rumor that Kiriyuu-kun’s dad stole something. You all really are idiots if you’d believe any old rumor without any proof.”

“But people saw him!”

“But you didn’t see him, did you? So those people might’ve mistaken what they saw.”

“This is none of your business!”

“Oh? But it isn’t your business either, is it? Even if it was true—”

As all the words inside of me came spilling out…

“Stop it!”

A loud voice rang through the classroom. At first, I had no idea where it came from. It wasn’t my voice. It wasn’t the idiot boy’s voice. It was a voice I had never heard before.

Just as I realized that the voice had come from Kiriyuu-kun, I also realized that he was, for some reason, looking up at me with those tragic eyes.

He was telling me to stop.

As I stood there, not comprehending why he would have said such a thing, Kiriyuu-kun stood up violently—his chair clattering to the ground with an echoing sound.

Then, while the sound was still ringing, he left the classroom without saying a word. After that, everyone fell silent. Even the blackboard and the desks and the chairs were holding their tongues. That was how quiet the room was.

Even as fifth period began, Kiriyuu-kun did not return. Even as afternoon announcements drew to a close, there was no sign of him.

Hitomi-sensei pulled me aside, and I told her plainly about what had happened during break. I also told her that, despite my fighting in his place, it was me he was glaring at when he left. When I asked her about what I should do, she told me that she would try talking to Kiriyuu-kun, and then sent me home.

Kiriyuu-kun was not at school the next day.

Nor the next day, or the next.

One day, Hitomi-sensei pulled me aside again and told me that Kiriyuu-kun would not be coming back for some time.

“Don’t worry, Koyanagi-san,” she assured me, “It wasn’t your fault.”

Still, I knew. Whenever an adult talked to you in that way, they really meant: “You weren’t entirely wrong, but you were still responsible.”

Even though all I had done was step up on his behalf. As usual, she was slightly off the mark.

It was raining. I went to Skank-san’s place and told her about everything that had happened. I apologized for not saying anything on the day I went to buy the watermelon. I told her, honestly, that I hadn’t wished to put it into words.

She was not angry at me for keeping quiet. When she heard my tale, she gave a nod that told me she understood.

“You must’ve realized it,” she said.

“Realized what?”

“That adults are frightening.”

Probably so, I thought. That was probably why I had felt the same way when my mother and father were fighting.

I also told her there was a chance the person who was caught might have been the father of one of my classmates. Although I’d said “might have,” judging by the way Kiriyuu-kun was acting in the classroom, that question had been answered.

I told her about what kind of person Kiriyuu’s father was, about his kindness and seeing him in the park. She let out a sigh.

“I see,” she muttered.

“Why would he be stealing? And from a supermarket?” My father would have been able to buy whatever he liked from a supermarket. After all, the most expensive thing were those square watermelons.

“Do you know something about that, Skank-san? Why he would’ve done that?”

Lately, my little head had been fully occupied with that question. Why, why? That word swirled around in my skull. Why would he have done that? Why had Kiriyuu-kun looked at me that way? I thought that if Skank-san understood, then she could explain it to me.

However, she shook her head. “Hmm, I wonder.”

If she did not understand, then no matter how hard I thought about it, I probably wouldn’t understand either. I was a little disappointed.

“But…” she continued. “Well, this is just a theory, but…”

“Huh?”

“It’s just my own theory; it’s not the truth. But would you like to hear it?”

“Please tell me.”

“That man—the man who was stealing—he probably wanted out.”

“Out? Of what?”

“Of his everyday life. Nothing matters to him anymore, so he wanted out of those never-ending days.”

“I don’t get it.”

“You don’t need to. It’s fine for you not to know, little miss.”

“Do you get it, Skank-san?”

Skank-san did not reply. Instead, she asked me if I would like to eat some gelato. I happily accepted the orange gelato, but there was something strange about it. The flavor seemed much weaker than before.

We talked about my classmate and my one remaining concern about the thief. I talked about the fact that Kiriyuu got mad at me, even though I had fought on his behalf, because he was so spineless. I told her that I did not understand why this happened, and that I did not know what to do for Kiriyuu, who was not even coming to school. Even though I had been his ally, just as Hitomi-sensei asked.

Although this was a serious concern for me, for some reason Skank-san laughed. I tilted my head, wondering if she had mistaken something for a joke.

“Sorry, sorry,” she said. “You know, when I was a child, I was just like you. If I was unhappy about something, I started fights for people before they could do so themselves. If I had to put a finger on it, it was the kids who couldn’t talk back who annoyed me the most.”

“That’s exactly it!”

I was thrilled to hear that I was like Skank-san when she was little. I wished I could hear more about her childhood. What kind of family did she have? What kinds of friends? Did she have any strange habits of speech, like I did?

“I was the type to always speak my mind, just like you. I don’t really know what Kiriyuu was thinking. I can imagine, but I don’t know whether it’s true.”

“I’d still like to hear it, if you don’t mind.”

“Hmm?” she said, tilting her head. “No, I won’t say.”

“Why not?”

“You want to try and make up with him, don’t you?”

“I guess. I mean we never really got along that much in the first place.”

She tittered again. “You really are like me,” she said quietly. “If you don’t care too much about making up with him, then you don’t have to think too much about his feelings.”

That was true, I supposed. I had no idea why I was even putting that much thought into it, so that sounded like a fair answer.

“Given how much you’ve already been thinking about this, you should come up with your own answer and then decide what to do. That’s why I’m not going to tell you what I’m thinking.”

She gave me a devilish look and crossed her lips with her finger, although she muttered softly behind it.

“Because I gave up,” she said, so quietly I was unsure if I even heard it.

“Okay. I’ll think about it myself. But you know, life is a like a ghost.”

“And what does that mean?”

“There’s always a hint.”

As I drew the letters with my finger in the air, she immediately deciphered what I was trying to say.

“A haunt? As clever as ever, I see,” she praised me. “So, a hint? Well I can give you a hint. Not for the answer, but for how to think about it.”

“Okay.”

“Ready?”

She held up her index finger and drew close to me. I felt my heart skip a beat, seeing those elegant, rouged lips drawing so near. I listened closely.

“Everyone is different. But we’re all the same.”

“Huh?”

I made a strange face. I must have looked very silly, with my lips pursed and my brows knitted together, because she laughed. I’m sure that if I had seen myself in a mirror, I would have laughed too.

“That’s weird,” I said. “That’s like…what is it, something about the strongest spear against the strongest shield.”

“A contradiction.”

“Right, that. Different, but the same…”

The inside of my little head was spinning so quickly I thought my eyes might spin.

“Yes, it is strange. That’s why my hint will guide your thinking. I’ll go one step further and give you this: You’re a child and I’m an adult, but we both like Othello.”

“Hmm, I’m gonna have to think about this a lot more.”

“Yes, keep thinking about it, and come up with an answer all your own. It would take too long for me to come up with that, but you’re kind and clever, so I’m sure you’ll do fine.”

“Could I really get something that even you don’t really understand?”

“You’ll be fine. You know what? I’m sure that Granny could give you an even better hint. You should go ask her about it.”

“I’ll go tomorrow, then. I don’t go to her house on rainy days. I get all muddy.”

Skank-san smiled gently, looking up at the sky outside the window. “I hope it’s clear tomorrow.”

I truly did as well.

The next day, as if her prayers had reached it, the sky granted the sun’s light to the Earth, clear and unabashed. Even the soggy ground had firmed up by the time school let out, and neither my favorite shoes nor Miss Bobtail’s fine coat ended up dirty.

We took the right fork on the path leading up the hill. Although I was glad for the clear weather, it was growing hotter and hotter every day, and I began to worry that I might just dry up from sweating so much. I tried to magically shorten the path to Granny’s house, but then I remembered that I could not do magic.

The shadows fell thick over the mountain path, and my little friend bounded up the hill with far more gusto than she had when walking the concrete city streets.

Finally, I thought as we arrived at the house and I rushed to knock on the door. It was only then that I noticed there was a slip of paper pinned to it. I read the words out loud for the benefit of my energetic little friend.

“Nacchan: the door is unlocked. Come in whenever you like.”

I looked down into my friend’s golden eyes, then wrapped my hand around the doorknob. Just as the note had said, the door opened easily.

“Hello!” I greeted as I stepped inside, only to find the house quiet.

Normally I would hear Granny and smell the sweetness of her baking, but today I sensed neither of those.

“Wonder if she’s out?”

“Meow.”

I wiped Miss Bobtail’s paws with the damp cloth that had been placed at the front door and we entered together, but we could hear nothing besides our own footsteps.

First I headed to the living room, where the sun always shone brightly. I would often find Granny there, drinking tea or reading a book. However, the room was empty. Without her presence, the space seemed far larger than usual. I usually enjoyed open spaces, but there was something peculiar about this. All the room did was incite a sort of murmuring in my heart.

I did not enjoy that feeling, so I decided to head to the kitchen. Maybe she was cooking something that did not produce any sounds or smells. However, there was none of that, either. There was no one present in the orderly kitchen, and the emptiness and quiet of that place only riled my heart further.

It seemed that she was not home. Perhaps she had gone out shopping. I once again looked my tiny friend in the eye, and we continued down the hallway to the living room, as though that had been the plan the entire time.

It was difficult for the sun to reach that dark hallway, and for just a second I wished to get out. However, I had read plenty of stories, and I knew that if you ran at a time like this, whatever scary thing was after you would just catch up faster. So I proceeded down the hallway step-by-step, silently shouting that there was no fun in chasing me.

We passed by a number of rooms, but most of them were empty. They had cabinets and shelves, but beyond that they were deserted, no traces of human life. It seemed like Granny’s family might have lived here once. Whatever had been inside those rooms had left along with her family. Now there were only empty shells. The only room that was not empty was Granny’s bedroom. I had been in that room plenty of times. There was Granny’s bed and her bookshelf, which she had taken books from to show me.

Just as I passed her bedroom door, my feet suddenly stopped. Perhaps she is sleeping in bed, I thought. I called out to my little friend, her fur blending in with the dark of the hallway, and knocked on the paneled glass door. I opened it, but as it turned out, she was not there either.

We should have left the room immediately and headed back to the warm, sun-soaked living room. Instead, I just stood there, stock still.

There was a particular reason for this. Eventually, I entered the room, opening the curtains. As a little light seeped in, I could distinguish the objects in there. The colors of the item I had spied seemed to take on a life of their own.

It was fixed to the wall. I took one step closer, and then another. In those few seconds I forgot all about my little friend, and perhaps even Granny as well.

“It’s so pretty.”

I was too young to know how to write the complex characters of the word kirei—“pretty.” Instead, the word was imbued with all of the images scrawled invisibly on my heart. I had only intended to utter it silently, but my feelings seemed to have slipped out.

It was a painting, a beautiful one, layered heavily with color. It overflowed with such power. I felt it might suck me in entirely. I could not draw my eyes away. Perhaps I had in fact entered the world of that painting, if only briefly. I only realized that Granny had appeared at my side when I heard her soft voice.

“Nacchan.”

Normally, I would jolt in surprise, but I was able to keep my cool as I slowly turned to look at her.

“Where did this picture come from?” I asked. I hadn’t seen it the last time I was in this room.

“My friend made it for me some time ago. I used to have it hanging in the office on the second floor, but I don’t use the office much anymore, so I decided to bring it down here.”

Now that I thought about it, I had never asked what kind of job she’d had. Although I thought about it now, I was more interested in the painting.

“How could anyone actually draw a picture like this?”

My question was not one of suspicion. Although I would only come to learn it later, there was a word for what I was feeling: admiration.

“You have some really talented friends,” I said.

I really did attribute this to talent. I would never be able to draw a picture so splendid, no matter how long I practiced. I could more readily imagine myself a princess or a CEO. Only a person with special hands could create such a magical picture.

Granny, however, shook her head. “It’s not just talent. There aren’t that many people as talented as the man who painted this, but there are others.”

“No way.”

I couldn’t believe it. There were multiple people in this world who could make pictures like this? That was more shocking than if she had told me there were sorcerers among us.

“There are more talented people out there than you think. However, it takes more than just talent to paint a picture like this.”

“What does it take, then? Effort?”

“Of course, but there’s something even more important than that. I’ve never known anyone who loved drawing more than the man who painted this. I’ve lived far longer than you and I’ve met many people, but not once did I ever meet anyone who had art on his mind more than him.”

“So it takes love to make a picture like this?”

“Yes. Only someone who gives their all could make something so truly amazing.”

Although I cannot remember it, that must have been why I was so moved by Minami-san’s story, I thought. Then it occurred to me that there was someone I wished to ask about.

“People who are talented and love what they do shouldn’t be embarrassed about it.”

“You had a friend like that, didn’t you?”

“He’s not my friend. But he does draw. He seems really embarrassed about it, though. Hey, Granny, what is the person who drew that picture doing now?”

“He’s living in another country with his family.”

“I see. For some reason I thought he might’ve been your lover.”

I was still unable to take my eyes off of the painting, so I have no idea how she seemed then, but I could tell by her tone that she was enjoying talking with me.

“And why is that?”

“Because it says ‘love’ right here.”

I pointed to the right-hand corner of the picture. I could not read English, but I could decipher that much at least. The English word that was written there, I was certain, was “love.”

However…

“Hee, Nacchan, that doesn’t say ‘love.’ Love is spelled ell-oh-vee-ee. This is ell-eye-vee-ee. It’s pronounced ‘live.’”

I got as close as I could to the picture and, surely enough, Live was written there. Also, although I did not know the meaning, were the letters em-ee.

“Live…what?”

“Live Me. Me means yourself. Together it means ‘Let me live,’ though actually the grammar is wrong. It’s the artist’s signature. A bit of a joke.”

Not knowing English, I did not get the joke. I could only tilt my head.

“Life really is like a diet.”

“You get results through effort?”

“No, things aren’t any fun when you’re too dense. Not when it comes to fashion or jokes.”

“I see!”

“Yep. So I need to get smarter.”

“You will. Now then, let’s do something that’s just as important as studying. Can I ask you to do a job for me?”

“A job? What is it?” I asked.

She smiled at me devilishly and held something up. My face lit up with joy—I knew exactly what it was for.

“Shave me some ice. In summer, eating shaved ice is an important as doing homework, isn’t it?”

“Absolutely!”

Apparently, she had been up on the second floor, searching for the shaved ice machine. It was no wonder I had been unable to find her.

With the smell of that wonderful drawing still lingering in my nostrils, we decided to move to the cool living room and make our shaved ice there. We retrieved a square-shaped block from the bottom shelf of Granny’s freezer, and I shaved with all my might. Granny prepared the syrup and spoons, while Miss Bobtail circled around in amusement, as though she had never seen shaved ice before. Finally, she plopped down on her behind, looking around.

I poured bright red syrup onto the mountain of fresh, snowy ice. I loved every flavor, but today I felt like strawberry. Granny seemed to be of the same mind, and the two of us ate together, dyeing our tongues red. As for my golden-eyed friend, although I had gone to the trouble of pouring syrup for her too, she only seemed to be interested in the parts without it, and so I shaved some more off the block onto a plate. Soon, she was happily licking the heap, lost in her own satisfaction. Perhaps she merely wished to avoid staining her little tongue.

As we ate our ice, I told Granny all about everything that had been happening, including what Skank-san had told me. I thought that Granny might be able to give me some answer, but she only said the same thing as Skank-san.

“Hmm, well, let’s see… I think this really is something that you have to think about on your own.”

“I know that. That’s why I came to ask you for a hint.”

“A hint, hm?”

Granny sipped the tea she had prepared to settle her stomach. I thought about it, wondering what sort of hint I should ask for. Meanwhile, my sun-basking friend lay beside me, thinking of nothing at all.

“Say, Granny. Your friend, the one who painted that picture. What kind of person was he?”

“Hm?”

“My classmate, the one who hasn’t been coming to school? He likes drawing pictures, too. I figured you might know a lot about people who draw.”

“I see.” She smiled, even more warmly than Skank-san. “Like other artists, this friend of mine was an incredibly delicate person. Artists hurt easily, and are weaker than others in many ways.”

“I know plenty about that.”

“But they are also kinder and more pure than almost anyone else. People who make art can see the world clearly. The good and the bad things come to them more directly than to anyone else. The pictures they draw aren’t like photos. When you look at them, you see how the world looks to them.”

I tried thinking of the pictures I had seen in my life, and of Kiriyuu-kun’s drawings. They were like magic. I certainly did not see the world that way. Still, if the painting in Granny’s bedroom reflected the true shape of the world, then the world might truly be a beautiful place.

“There could never be pain or sadness in such a beautiful world,” I said.

“Yes, that’s true. And yet, there are pain and sadness in this world, aren’t there? In truth, such places could never exist in our world. Artists know that. That what is why they feel pain and hurt so much more strongly.”

I thought of Kiriyuu-kun’s face when he was being ridiculed. Somehow or other, I think I understood just what Granny was saying.

“Even if that wasn’t true, it’s only human nature that the bad things linger in our hearts longer than the good.”

Indeed, what I witnessed at the supermarket and the sight of Kiriyuu’s eyes were etched deeply into my heart, more so than all the wonderful things that had happened in the days since.

Then I thought of Minami-san’s tears. “Is it the same for people who write stories?”

“Yes, probably. However, I think that people who draw are even lonelier than people who write. Stories are made of words, aren’t they? Words are far easier to convey than images.”

“I think I’ll go for the stories, then. I want to be able to share what’s in my heart directly… Yep, there’s no other path for me.”

As I stood up, holding my shaved ice dish and filled with determination, Granny gave an elegant laugh. “Did you find something?”

“Yeah. I promised Hitomi-sensei that I’d be the ally of that cowardly artist. First off, I’ve got to tell him that.”

“If that’s your decision, then I approve. However, there’s a chance that boy might be less cowardly than you think.”

“Hitomi-sensei said the same thing. He really is a coward, though. Spineless, too. He can’t even say how he feels.”

And yet, when he looked at me, I felt like his eyes were conveying his true emotions.

That evening, after I returned home from Granny’s, I could not get Kiriyuu-kun off my mind, even as I ate dinner, brushed my teeth, and climbed into bed. There’s no way to know everything about someone else, so you have to think about it. But no matter how hard I thought, all I could think of was our differences. I could not find one single way in which we were the same, as Skank-san had implied.

Besides, there was still one thing that I desperately needed to consider: How should I tell him that I was his ally? By letter? By phone? I couldn’t text him, since I did not have a cell phone.

And so…