Chapter Nine

Lovey-Dovey X Signals

The sound of my heart pounded against my eardrums and reverberated inside my head. Likewise, my blood simmered, and my body was soaked in sweat—my pen had threatened to slip out of my slick grip several times already.

I looked away from my untouched workbook and surveyed my surroundings. Unlike the old, somewhat dirty walls of my meager apartment, these were pure white. A carpet, smooth and inviting to the touch, lay across the lustrous wood flooring. On top of the wooden single bed, I spotted a stuffed animal—either a bear or rabbit, I couldn’t tell. There was also a closet, a table, and several other pastel furnishings decorating the room. The table I was currently sitting at was round and made of glass; it fit right at home with the rest of the cute, stylish decor. And, finally, on the opposite end of the table was a girl grappling with her textbook.

You can probably tell where I’m going with this, can’t you? I’d been invited into Haruka’s—in other words, my girlfriend’s—very own bedroom! What had triggered such a wonderful event, you might ask? It had been none other than our midterm exams—a prominent source of stress for students everywhere.

It was already June, and with exams right around the corner, all club activities were on break.

Haruka had asked me to help her study today. Sure, I might’ve been a dunce, but I did attend the AP class of the prestigious Seiun High—at the very least, I could help a regular student like Haruka prepare for her exams. What’s more, she was counting on me. How could I have turned her down? So, of course, I’d happily agreed.

And so, after school, we’d headed to the library to prepare for our exams together. Unfortunately, the place had been filled to the brim with students who’d had the same idea as us.

“Oh, wow!” Haruka had cried. “The tables are all packed!”

“My bad,” I’d replied. “So I guess this place gets pretty popular before tests, huh?”

What a stupid mistake. I hadn’t known that you couldn’t find a place to sit before exams. It seemed obvious, but I’d never used the library up until that point; I’d always gone straight home without waiting for club activities to end. Plus, I’d only started dating Haruka this spring.

As an alternative, I’d offered Haruka to study in the AP classroom.

“Hey, Hiromichi...” she’d responded. “Would you like to study at my place instead?”

Those were the events that brought us to the present moment. This was my first time being in a girl’s room—and, most importantly, it was my girlfriend’s room. To be totally honest, it felt like my heart would burst out of my chest.

But, man, girls’ rooms really do have a nice smell to them...

A sweet scent, like flowers or candy, lingered in the air. I’d heard about this strange phenomena from other guys in the past, but I hadn’t believed it until now. Women had to have come from another planet.

No, this is probably just the smell of Haruka’s shampoo or something.

Perhaps she and Shigure used the same brand, because I’d catch whiffs of a similar fragrance whenever I passed by Shigure. But I was getting sidetracked. What really mattered was this nice aroma, one that I’d only caught fleeting hints of before, currently enveloped my entire body. And, most importantly of all, it belonged to my girlfriend. That alone made me happy.

Geez, I needed to ease up on the reins a bit. I was in such high spirits that my brain verged on melting. In fact, if I took a deep breath right now, just how much heavenly bliss would I be blessed with?

Huh? Are you calling me a pervert? Slow down there, partner! This was completely and utterly out of my control.

I’ll give you an example—let’s say a nature lover came upon a vibrant, grassy plain. The first thing they’d do is inhale a lungful of fresh air, right? It was the same deal here. I cared deeply for Haruka. Wanting to sniff her? That was the most natural thing in the world. Absolutely beyond my control, right?

Well then, I’ll be seeing you later, asshole. I’ve got a girlfriend to smell!

“Hey, Hiromichi,” Haruka said.

“Hack! Wheeze!”

“Wh-What’s wrong? Are you sick?”

“No, I just swallowed and it went down the wrong pipe. I’m fine. So... what’s up?”

“For this English problem, why is the word ‘take’ incorrect?”

“Oh, it’s because you’ve mixed up the directions. In this case, you’d use the word ‘bring.’”

Oh shit, that was close!

Cold sweat ran down my back. I’d been flaring my nostrils like a crazed bull, hadn’t I? As a boyfriend, I can’t imagine taking overly eager, huge-ass whiffs of your girlfriend’s room would ever be a good look. I guess I’d gotten swept up in being invited into my girlfriend’s room and fell into a trance of sorts, but I couldn’t let Haruka see me like this.

I stopped acting like an idiot and redirected my attention to studying. But as you’d expect, I couldn’t concentrate in the least. For the first time in my life, I was in a room belonging to the opposite sex—and my girlfriend’s, no less. This was her own private slice of the world, where she spent most of her time. And she herself had invited me here. How could anyone expect me to focus on translating what Bob, Nancy, and Taro were discussing? Not happening, chief.

In the end, I came to a different conclusion. Concentration? Screw that noise. I had a much more important objective—I needed to figure out what kind of signals Haruka was sending by inviting me here!

According to the pros online, when girls wanted to take their relationship to the next level, there were several things that they’d do to hint at that fact: they’d start to lean against you more, act spoiled, and send out suggestive signals. Recently, our relationship had taken a huge leap forward. We’d walked home from school while holding hands. Then, not long afterwards, she’d invited me over. This was quite possibly a signal from Haruka that she wanted things to progress... further.

Of course, she could have just been relying on me—an AP student—to help her grades improve. Maybe she was fine with inviting close friends to her room. If I misread any of her signals and overstepped my bounds...

“Urgh,” I groaned.

W-What a terrifying thought. I can’t let that happen. My heart would shatter into a bajillion pieces.

And so I knew it’d be best to scope these signals out with the utmost caution. Was I just getting my hopes up? Reading too much into things? Before I came to a conclusive decision, I’d need to sear each and every one of Haruka’s actions into my retinas!

X X X

“Thanks, Hiromichi!” Haruka exclaimed. “I’ve never gotten through my homework this fast before!”

“R-Really? Glad to be of help.”

“I’m one lucky girl to have a boyfriend in AP,” she giggled. “Oh, you’ve finished your drink. I’ll go pour you another glass.”

“O-Okay, thanks.”

Haruka grabbed the empty glass in question, stood up, and left the room. Once I was certain I was by myself, I cradled my head.

“I can’t tell a damn thing!”

Despite having long abandoned my studies to observe Haruka, I hadn’t been able to confirm the presence of any signals. So what had I discovered? For starters, Haruka’s eyelashes were incredibly long and beautiful. Whenever she encountered a difficult problem, the sighs that escaped from her pouted lips were somewhat arousing. And her bashful smile whenever our eyes met was devastatingly cute.

In other words, I’d discovered how insanely adorable my girlfriend was. Wait, I’d already known that!

Come to think of it, how would I even be able to detect things like that? Isn’t that why I’ve been a virgin for the past 17 years? Man, life is one shitty game—to defeat monster A, you need item B, but monster A’s the one that drops that item. Honestly, any more than this is probably a wasted effort.

“I should get back to studying,” I sighed.

“Mrow.”

“Hm?”

What was that? A weird sound had come from the door which Haruka had left wide open. Out of curiosity, I looked over to where it had come from and was met with the determined stare of a black-and-white spotted cat. Half of its body was already through the door. Come to think of it, Haruka had mentioned owning a cat in an earlier conversation.

“Haruka,” I called out to her. “What was your cat’s name again?”

“Huh?” she called back to me from the kitchen. “Is Spot over with you?”

“He’s staring at me from the door. So he’s called ‘Spot,’ huh? I thought that was usually a dog’s name.”

“Yeah, but look at his eyes—those peepers could spot you from a mile away!”

“You’re not talking about his fur...?”

What an incredible name. Still, she’s not wrong about that glint in his eyes. No bird would stand a chance.

I liked both cats and dogs, but if I had to pick a favorite, I would definitely be on team cat. Dogs were so loyal that they made a deadbeat like me feel guilty in some way. But since cats were also deadbeats, I didn’t hate myself as much being around them.

“Here kitty, kitty!” I called out.

“Mrooow.”

I clicked my tongue and tried to beckon him over, and Spot entered the room. He was a rather plump specimen, likely twice the size of your average stray. He made a beeline toward me and climbed up onto my lap.

M-My legs!

“You’re a big fellow, aren’tcha?” I asked.

I stroked his small cheek, and Spot began to purr in response. Based on his level of friendliness, he must have been a seriously spoiled feline.

“Hm?”

As I continued to pet Spot, I noticed something stuck to one of his hindlegs. Due to the shadow cast by his rather rotund body, it hadn’t stood out as he approached. What was it? Tissue paper? I felt sorry for the poor guy, so I decided to remove it for him.

It was a simple piece of cloth, and it was quite nice to touch... silky smooth, in fact. I’d never felt anything like this before. It was triangle-shaped, with a small ribbon decorating its lustrous, white surface, and—oh my fucking God, these are women’s panties!

“Mmmmm!” Somehow, I managed to smother my scream, causing my ears to ring from internal pressure.

C’mon, these were definitely panties! After seeing Shigure’s not too long ago, I think I could consider myself a bit of an expert on the matter! What’s more, the only other person Haruka lived with was her dad—in other words, any panties in this household were 100% the property of my girlfriend.

Wh-What the hell did you bring me, Spot?!

“He’s a chonker, isn’t he?” Haruka, who was still in the kitchen, called out. “When we first adopted him, Spot was nothing but skin and bones, but my dad dotes on cats so much that he got a bit of a belly. But tubby cats are cute, right?”

“O-Oh, for sure. When it comes to cats, the fatter the better... Yep.”

Spot was round and adorable. A round, adorable little bastard.

Shit, this is bad. Haruka’s voice is getting closer and closer. Cold sweat erupted from my entire body. What could I do? If she found me gripping these, it would definitely cause a misunderstanding. But if I threw them on the ground, how would I explain the situation? Maybe just flippantly saying, “Oh, the cat brought them,” would work?

Ugh, this sucks! It might be the truth and all, but that explanation sucks eggs!

I was in a horrible panic. Even so, time cruelly continued to march forward. While I was busy freaking out, Haruka steadily approached the room.

“Sorry for the wait,” she said. “Ahaha. Spot climbed up on your lap, huh? Come over here, big guy. You’re bothering Hiromichi.”

“Mrow...”

“Oh, he just answered with a yawn. He’s really taken a liking to you, Hiromichi. If he gets to be too much to handle, just push him off.”

“N-No problem here. I like cats.”

“Really? Looks like you’re in luck, Spot.”

Haruka—a wide smile on her face—patted him while he was still perched on my lap. I’d only managed to avoid her noticing the aforementioned “item” by quickly stuffing them into my trouser’s pocket. However, I immediately regretted my decision—after all, I’d just turned myself into a goddamn panty thief!

I’d dug my own grave the moment I’d pocketed them. This “dangerous article” was essentially a ticking time bomb that would likely blow our relationship to smithereens. I needed to deal with them as soon as possible without attracting Haruka’s attention.

But how? Could I hide them somewhere in this room? Yeah, that was definitely one solution. Still, these panties had come from elsewhere. Suppose Haruka had worn this pair yesterday and just washed them. If she remembered that and discovered them in her room, she might connect that inconsistency to me—the guest.

Where could I hide these panties so that Haruka would never find them, then? I wouldn’t exactly feel great about stuffing them behind her dresser. And, of course, bringing them home was obviously out of the question. I racked my brain, trying to figure out the best course of action for both Haruka and myself.

“Hiromichi,” Haruka spoke up, pulling me out of my thoughts. “Are you feeling hot?”

“Huh?! Why do you ask?”

“Because you’re sweating like crazy.”

“Umm, n-no, I’m not particularly warm or anything...”

“Then are you feeling under the weather? You were even coughing a few minutes ago...”

Haruka looked at me with concerned eyes. She must’ve started to worry about me because of my pained expression. She was so kind! I seriously liked her!

At this point, I was practically swelling up like a balloon with guilt. Still, it’s not like I could say, “Oh, I’m just sweating buckets over here because I’ve got your panties stuffed inside my pocket, and I’m worried you’ll find out.”

On the other hand, her question had given me an idea. Feeling under the weather? I could do something with that!

“I’m not feeling sick or anything,” I said, “but I have needed to use the restroom for a while now.”

“Huh? Why didn’t you say anything?”

“Well, it felt like bad manners to use my girlfriend’s restroom, I guess...”

“Oh, is that all? What a silly thing to worry about. I’ll show you where it is right now. Follow me.”

“Thanks. You’re a lifesaver.”

When I returned from the restroom, I would leave the panties outside her room. After all, Spot had originally brought them in from outside. Rather than disposing of the evidence in her room, it wouldn’t feel as strange for Haruka to stumble across them somewhere else. Furthermore, most houses were designed to have their water facilities in the same vicinity. That meant that the restroom and bathroom—which housed the washing machine—tended to be right next to each other. If I casually dropped the panties next to the washing machine, she wouldn’t be any the wiser.

I’ve pretty much done a lifetime of sweating over one damn cat.

As I complained to myself, I tried brushing Spot—who’d curled up on my lap—away in order to stand. Yet even when I nudged him, he stubbornly refused to budge. I had no other choice. I placed my hands beneath his belly and tried to lift him up. In response, his claws dug into my trousers.

Stubborn bastard!

I was out of ideas, so I resorted to pulling up even harder, forcibly ripping him away. At that moment, disaster struck. Spot must have hooked onto the panties during his resistance. When I finally successfully peeled him away, his claws pulled them smoothly from my pocket.

“Eeeek!” I screamed.

Haruka stared at the panties half-protruding from my pocket, eyes wide in shock. “Huh? Hiromichi, those... are my... What’s going on?!”

Th-This is the worst! The worst possible timeline! I need to explain myself!

“This is all a huge misunderstanding!” I cried. “I didn’t do anything! It was all Spot! He had these stuck to his leg when he came into the room! But I was afraid of causing a misunderstanding if I just left them here, so I stuffed them in my pocket! I wasn’t trying to steal them! I was hoping to secretly drop them beside the washing machine on my way to the restroom! P-Please believe me!”

In my panicked state, I’d rattled off a long-winded explanation. Suddenly, a memory resurfaced from the back of my mind—a long time ago, I’d seen a news story about a man overseas accused of owning illegal pornography. As an excuse, he’d blamed his cat for accidentally “saving” the files onto his computer. Had anyone believed him in the end? I definitely hadn’t, at the very least.

Yeah, this story is way too unrealistic for Haruka to believe me. Ah, it’s over. My first relationship... just crumbled right before my very eyes...

“O-Oh, is that what happened?” Haruka said.

What?

“C’mon, Hiromichi, don’t scare me like that!”

“Haruka, you really believe me?” I asked, incredulous.

“Of course I do. I’m your girlfriend, after all. I know you’re not the kind of person to do that sort of thing. But if you were so worried about a misunderstanding, that must mean you don’t trust me enough yet... I’m a little disappointed by that.”

Haruka puffed out her cheeks, but she wasn’t actually angry. No, she was sulking in a jocular manner. In other words, she actually believed my story. She really, truly trusted a guy like me from the bottom of her heart.

Would I ever encounter another person across this vast, expansive world who viewed me with such affirmation? Would I ever experience anything more rewarding than this? A deep love for the girl in front of me overflowed from my chest. Driven by these powerful emotions, I instinctively extended a hand toward Haruka, barely able to breathe.

“Oh...” she whispered.

My fingertips brushed her hair. For a brief moment, she seemed surprised, then she closed her eyes and used my palm to caress her cheek.

Yeah, I can read this one.

Haruka and I were both sending signals. We could both feel it from one another. Right now, I could slide my hand toward the nape of her neck and pull her in for an embrace.

Ding-dong!

“Uwah!” we both shouted in unison, jumping in response to the shrill doorbell.

The heat of the moment quickly faded, as if we’d been doused with cold water. Immediately, our closeness grew awkward, and we both averted our eyes.

“That was incredible timing,” Haruka noted with a laugh. “Just like in the manga you lent me recently.”

“Y-Yeah, I guess this does happen, even in reality...”

“I’ll go see who it is, okay?”

“O-Of course.”

Haruka fled from the room, her face so red that it even reached her ears. Somehow, it felt as though I’d let a critical moment slip past me.

---

---

If things had continued in that same direction, I would have been able to embrace Haruka.

No, based on the mood, I might’ve been able to... k-kiss her.

That thought left me seething. Who the hell was at the door? If it was that friggin’ tax collector again, I’d be furious. Those guys could eat horse shit and die.

“Oh, it’s you,” Haruka’s voice came from the front door. “Welcome home, Dad.”

The father?! Of my girlfriend?!

“Good to see you, Haruka.” I could faintly hear a man’s voice.

“What’s wrong? Why did you ring the doorbell?”

“I managed to get out of work early for the first time in a while, but I forgot my house key inside my desk. Good thing you were home. Hm? I don’t recognize these shoes. Do you have a friend over?”

“Not just a friend—you know, the one I’m always talking about...”

“Oh, your boyfriend. Hiromichi, right?”

“Yeah! I asked him to come help me study, since tests are coming up soon.”

“Is that so? Am I interrupting anything?”

“Kind of.”

“Hearing you put it so plainly makes me a little sad. Still, if the young man who’s involved with my daughter is here, I should introduce myself to him.”

E-Eeeeep! I screamed internally as his voice and footsteps grew closer. This was way too soon! I hadn’t prepared myself at all! What was a guy supposed to say when meeting his girlfriend’s parents?! During these situations, I would usually ask for Professor Gaggle’s advice, but there was no time for that right now.

A large, middle-aged man appeared in the open doorway, scrutinizing me through black-rimmed glasses.

“Good evening,” he greeted me. “You’re Hiromichi—my daughter’s boyfriend, correct? Nice to meet you.”

“Y-Yes! Good evening! I’m Hiromichi Satou!” I practically shouted, shooting to my feet to give a polite bow. How in the world could I respond to my girlfriend’s father with my ass on the floor?! I’d had a total brain fart!

Only the sound of my pounding heart reverberated within my vacant head.

Th-Think of something, Hiromichi! What do manga protagonists say to their girlfriend’s parents during these scenes? What’s the standard... s-standard... greeting?!

“I promise to make your daughter the happiest girl in the world!” I shouted.

Wait, what did I just say?! Sure, it was “standard”—I’ve seen it in literally every manga! But was this actually the right time for that, you idiot?!

In response to my hasty, overconfident greeting, Haruka’s dad laughed, his shoulders shaking slightly. “You certainly are an eager one. Once you’re an adult, I’d like to hear that one more time.”

“Ergh!”

Oh, crap. He definitely thinks I’m weird.

“Still, it’s good to have a sense of responsibility,” he added.

“Huh?” I blurted out in response.

“As a parent, when I heard that my daughter had a boyfriend, I worried about what type of guy you’d be. But in your case, I can relax. You haven’t dyed your hair, and you don’t have any piercings. You look like an honest and sincere young man.”

Surprisingly, Haruka’s father had interpreted my blunder favorably. Come to think of it, when I’d gotten ahead of myself before, Haruka had also been happy. As father and daughter, they probably had similar sensibilities.

“Truly, thank goodness,” Haruka’s dad continued. “If your hair had been blond or red, I wouldn’t have known what to do. At your age, no decent guy would dye their hair or get piercings.”

“Er...”

“How about it, Hiromichi? Seeing as I’m finally home early for the first time in forever, I was going to take my daughter out to eat. Would you like to come with us? Now’s the perfect time for dinner.”

When I looked at the clock, I noticed it was already past 6:30PM. A lengthy amount of time had passed without my notice. Still, I couldn't stay.

“Thank you for the invitation, but my family’s making dinner currently,” I replied.

After all, I hadn’t told Shigure that I didn’t need dinner today. By now, she would likely be busy preparing the food. Even though we’d divided up the housework, I couldn’t turn down Shigure’s meals after she’d gone through the trouble of making them. As someone who merely ate the food, that would be pretty low.

Also, while he seemed like a good person, I knew it would be difficult to enjoy any food while my girlfriend’s dad was present.

“I’m going home for today,” I announced.

“Oh, already?” Haruka’s dad asked. “In that case, never mind. Spending quality time with your family is important... very important indeed. Well then, let’s have dinner together another day. Haruka, why don’t you say goodbye to Hiromichi at the door?”

“Okay, Dad.”

Once Haruka had seen me off, I began my walk home. She waved to me the entire time.

After I was out of her line of sight, my shoulders slumped from exhaustion. Honestly, I was exhausted. A lot had taken place during my first visit to Haruka’s house—the incident with the cat and the panties, and meeting her dad. It had been one hell of a day.

But at the very least, I could celebrate the fact that Haruka’s dad appeared to like me. Just like my girlfriend, he gave off the impression that he was a good person. I felt a great sense of relief in that fact. I mean, since he was also Shigure’s dad, he could have ended up being more like her—now that idea terrified me. Thank God that hadn’t been the case.

Still, because he’d seemed like such a good-natured person...

“At your age, no decent guy would dye their hair or get piercings.”

...those sharp words, so filled with revulsion, had left a bizarrely strong impression on me.