Chapter Twelve

Dangerous X Lesson

“I love me some fried chicken!”

I sank my teeth into the breading, which yielded in my mouth with a satisfying crunch. A rush of juices filled my mouth, and the invigorating scent of spices tickled my nostrils. Nothing beat fried chicken fresh out of the oil.

“You’re an amazing chef, you’re attentive, and you’re the second cutest girl in the world,” I remarked. “Yep—you’ll definitely make a great wife, Shigure. As your older brother, I guarantee it! Ahaha!”

I gave my heartfelt praise to the girl sitting across from me. She really was something else. Ever since her arrival, I’d enjoyed one bountiful meal gracing my dinner table after another. I couldn’t thank her enough.

“Um, I just have one question,” Shigure spoke as soon as I tried to convey my feelings.

“Hm? Go ahead.”

“You’re being 50% more disgusting than usual. What’s with the good mood?”

Ahaha, this girl! Ya gotta love her! Making a scathing remark after I showered her with all those compliments. Classic Shigure.

Yet, right now, those spiteful words were music to my ears. Why, you ask?

“I'm going out with Haruka tomorrow,” I explained. “With midterms out of the way, we’ll finally be able to have our first real date in a while. We’ve only been studying together recently, so my excitement is through the roof! Seriously, I am pumped. I don’t think I could hate anyone in this beautiful, wide world right now. Even if someone did something as heinous as drenching my chicken with lemon juice, I could forgive them.”

“Well then, don’t mind if I do,” Shigure replied.

Splash!

“Urgh...” I groaned.

“Well? Can you forgive me?”

“Yep. I forgive you. You’re on thin ice, though—and it’s real close to cracking.”

“You’re surprisingly petty.”

Petty? If this had been any other time, I would’ve opened fire on the spot. My capacity to turn the other cheek was quite impressive, if I did say so myself—I was basically Mother Theresa over here.

I was munching on some soggy, sour chicken and contemplating my virtuous nature when my cell phone rang. The call was toll-free, and the name displayed on the screen was one I was very familiar with.

“Haruka!” I cried out.

“She’s definitely going to bail on you at the last moment,” Shigure chimed in.

“Don’t jinx me!”

“70% of the time, when a woman bails on you, it means, ‘I’ve given this a lot of thought, and I’ve come to realize that you’re so gross that the idea of being seen with you creeps me out. Never come anywhere near me again, thanks.’”

“No! Even if she is canceling on me, Haruka is different! I’m answering the phone, so be quiet for a minute.”

“Alrighty.”

Once I’d confirmed that Shigure’s cheeks were stuffed full of fried chicken, I walked into the hallway and answered the phone.

“Hello,” I said.

“Good evening, Hiromichi. This is Haruka. Is now a good time?”

“Yeah, it is. I was eating dinner, but I just left the living room.”

“Oh, really? Sorry for the bad timing. Should I call you back later?”

“No, it’s fine as long as we keep it short. What’s up?”

“Okay, I’ll keep this brief. About tomorrow’s date...”

“Er...”

I immediately grew uneasy. Had Shigure predicted the future? Would she seriously bail on me at the last moment?

“So it’s been two months since we started dating, right?” Haruka asked.

“Y-Yeah.”

“During that time, we’ve started calling each other by our first names. It’s still kind of embarrassing, but we’re also holding hands when we walk around. And at my house the other day, things started to h-heat up a little, right? I-I think the two of us are doing really well...”

“I-I agree...”

“Y-You mentioned something about our future before, right? If we were able to hold hands after only one month, we’d probably get along well for the rest of our lives?”

“Y-Yeah, I did say that...”

Just thinking back on it made me cringe. Why had I ever uttered the words “for the rest of our lives” as a high schooler?

D-Don’t tell me...

Haruka had laughed the comment aside at that time, but had Shigure been right? Had I actually managed to creep my girlfriend out? As I recalled Shigure’s recent comments, a chill ran down my spine.

“That... made me really happy,” Haruka continued. “It made me understand just how much you wanted to be with me, so I realized that I needed to make more of an effort.”

“‘Make more of an effort’? To do what?”

“To take our next big step as a couple.”

“BIG STEB?!”

“Eep! I-I just wanted to tell you that today! If I didn’t just bite the bullet and call you, I would’ve lost the courage to voice my thoughts! W-Well, I’ll be waiting at the station tomorrow at noon! Goodnight!”

Haruka must’ve gotten embarrassed by my strange outburst. She quickly fired off an answer—as if running away—and hung up the phone. The receiver beeped several times, indicating that the call had ended, but it remained plastered to my ear. I stood stock still, Haruka’s words repeating in my head over and over again like a broken record. She’d been very clear in expressing herself—there’d been no room to misunderstand or dodge the issue.

My brain processed her words at the speed of dial-up internet. Once I’d finally managed to decipher them, I fell into a manic state of happiness, surprise, and excitement.

“Sh-Shigure! Shigure, Shigure, Shigure!” I cried, racing into the living room to seek salvation.

“Yes, yes. I’m here, I’m here,” Shigure replied. “There aren’t four of me, though.”

“I just got off the phone with Haruka. Apparently, she wants to take the next b-big step as a couple tomorrow! That’s what she just said!”

“Oh! I mean... wow. Isn’t that nice?” Shigure’s eyes had widened for a split second, but her expression quickly returned to one of disinterest. “So you want to gush about Haruka while we eat fried chicken? Not exactly the most appetizing thing to talk about during dinner.”

“No! Since we held hands just recently, the next step has got to be... th-that, right?! H-Hugging each other?!”

“When it comes to matters of love, you really do think small, Big Bro.”

What? No hug?!

“But if not that, then what in the world...?” I trailed off.

“At your stage, the ‘next step’ usually refers to a kiss, right?”

“K-Kiss?! A g-girl? With my l-lips?”

Are you kidding me?! Wait, it’s normal for couples to kiss, right? I mean, I’ve even felt the opportunity arise a few times before, but still! You’re telling me we’re going to slide all the way to first base tomorrow?! In less than 24 hours, Haruka’s pouty lips are going to press against my—no, it’s too much!

“Oh shit, my heart’s racing!” I cried. “H-Hey, Shigure! What’s the right way to kiss someone? I’ve never done this before! Is there any sort of etiquette you have to follow no matter what?! Is there anything that girls hate?! You’re good at this stuff, right?! Teach me everything you know!”

Shigure glared at me reproachfully. “And just who do you think I am?”

I figured that Shigure had ample experience in that department, but that didn’t seem to be the case.

Her expression changed into her trademark malicious grin, and the depths of her narrow eyes glistened with a sadistic light. That was when I knew—the next time she’d open her mouth, it would be to utter something horrible.

“Still... if you’re feeling so uneasy, why don’t you spend the rest of the night practicing?” she suggested.

“Huh? Practice what? Kissing?”

“Exactly. Look, you have the perfect training partner right here. I’m your precious girlfriend’s twin sister. We have the same face, body, voice, and even scent.”

“Wha—?!”

“Why use me as your little Haruka guinea pig? That way, you won’t make a fool of yourself tomorrow.”

See! I knew it’d be something awful! This girl never stops running her mouth!

“Don’t be stupid!” I shouted. “I could never do something like that!”

“I don’t mind at all, though.”

“You should, though! As a girl, you shouldn’t even make jokes like that!”

“Heh. You’re such a nice guy, Big Bro. No, not nice—soft. If you keep that up, your relationship with Haruka won’t last much longer,” she warned in a chilling tone.

What?

I looked back at her, but she wasn’t wearing her usual impish grin. No, this was the cruel smirk of someone looking down on an insect.

“What do you mean by that?” I asked.

“I meant exactly what I said. Haruka’s going to break up with you soon.”

“H-How can you be so sure?”

“Because I know it for a fact. Any girl would get sick of you being so passive. You should try to be more like, let’s see... Aizawa, the guy from our class. You’d do well to his type of kindness.”

“Huh?! That guy?!” I shouted without thinking.

I hadn’t been able to stop myself, though. I mean, she was speaking about the Akira Aizawa—a fellow student in junior-year AP and a notorious playboy. At school, he and his little posse would roar with laughter about the girls he’d humped and dumped. Naturally, his shallow nature meant that he had a poor reputation among the female students, as well. Regardless of whether or not I was “soft,” being compared to a guy like him had coaxed an odd yell from my throat.

“Isn’t he the lowest of the low?” I asked. “He fools around with one girl after another! How many girls do you think he’s made cry in our class alone?!”

“But girls like him, right?” Shigure prodded. “So much so that he’s never alone on the weekends.”

“Ugh. That’s because they think he’s hot, right?”

“He might be stylish, but he’s nothing to write home about. In terms of looks, he’s not that much different from you.”

Honestly, I’d noticed the same thing. I guess we were both equally lackluster according to Shigure, but if we compared him to someone like Tomoe, the difference was like night and day. Their facial features and other minute traits differed on a fundamental level. So yeah, with all that being said, I’d often wondered why this guy did so well with women despite being nothing special. Since Shigure had pointed out my very own misgivings, I couldn’t argue with her.

When I fell silent, she continued. “Women often claim to like ‘nice guys,’ right? Losers like you tend to take that at face value, but that’s a serious misunderstanding. Women are always speaking subjectively. In this case, they’re not talking about kindness in the general sense. No, women want a man who’s kind to them—their girlfriend. In other words, they want a man who suits their convenience. Sure, Aizawa’s a scumbag who might be about as far from the general definition of ‘nice’ as you can get, but at least he keeps the girl happy while they’re together. After all, he never leaves them confused.”

“Confused?”

“Does he truly like me? How flirtatious can I be without coming on too strong? Should I have tried getting closer to him today? Did... Did he stop liking me today? When you’re trying to win someone’s heart over, there’s a lot to think about. And thinking is absolutely exhausting.”

Oh...

“Guys like Aizawa don’t let girls feel that sort of uncertainty,” Shigure continued. “Instead, he takes action without giving them time to think. He skips over all the annoyances by providing nothing but the joy of romance. Sure, the world might call that ‘shallow,’ but it must seem very kind from the girl’s perspective, right? Aizawa is a far ‘nicer’ guy than you. Listen: making Haruka back herself into a corner on the phone isn’t kindness.”

“Guh!”

I had no words—not a single rebuttal. Shigure had convinced me: my commonsense definition of “kindness toward women” had been fundamentally wrong. No, even if it hadn’t been wrong, applying it to my girlfriend as if it were a universal definition had been a mistake. After all, I’d forced Haruka to make that phone call.

“Well, what’s done is done. More importantly, what are you going to do from here on out? Make Haruka kiss you? Will you wait for her to agonize over every word until she finds some excuse to approach you? Or will you finally muster up the courage to take the first step this time?”

“O-Of course, I’ll be the one to—”

“Aha!”

...take the first step.

When I’d tried to say those words, Shigure cut me off with her derisive laughter. “You could never do something so bold!”

“Wha—?!”

“Oh, my spineless beta of an older brother. If you can’t even make a move on a stand-in like me, how will you ever have the balls to kiss your precious girlfriend? You’re clearly going to find some convenient excuse to chicken out and say something like, ‘Well, Haruka’s feelings are more important than mine.’ You understand that more than anyone, don’t you? That’s just the sort of person you are. No matter how much I ridicule you, your inability to retaliate is proof of that.”

“Urgh.”

Why?

“What’s the matter?” Shigure asked in a mocking tone. “You can practice with me before kissing the real deal. Look—these lips have done nothing but piss you off for the past half hour. Go ahead and shut them up. I’m giving you permission to do it myself. What, too scared?”

Why is she taking this so far?

“See, you can’t do anything,” she continued. “Talk about pathetic. You’re nothing but slime. Just a puny, sexless blob of slime! I was right—you and Haruka won’t last much longer. Well, that works out just fine for me. The sooner you break up, the sooner I won’t have to hide our living situation any longer. While we’re at it, why don’t I just steal you away from Haruka? Honestly, I actually like you being a worthless loser.”

Shigure’s condescending eyes, derisive laughter, and scorn—which slipped off her tongue as smoothly as a song—caused my blood to boil. For the first time in my life, I understood just how pointed that expression was.

“I’ve had enough of this shit!” I cried.

Driven by my impulses, I acted in a way that usually would have been unthinkable. I grabbed her arms and pressed them against the tatami mat as I wrestled her to the floor. I loomed over her, pressing myself down against her with my weight. Through brute strength, I’d pinned her to the ground. Shigure’s body stiffened, and her eyes were practically popping out of their sockets. In all likelihood, she’d never expected me to respond to her provocation.

When had I last gotten so rough with a girl? Elementary school? Kindergarten? I couldn’t even remember. Perhaps this was the first time in my life I’d done so. In any case, my blood boiled hot enough for me to choose violence, and it was exactly that reckless anger that made me uncertain of what I’d do, what I was capable of.

And yet...

“Ah!”

I could feel Shigure trying to push back against me, but her resistance felt so meager. Hadn't she claimed to have some kind of martial arts experience? Or perhaps her strength was futile—no matter how much she’d trained, she couldn’t push off a man looming over her. Her wrists, dainty and thin, fit snugly into my hands; her arms seemed so much weaker than a man’s. As I stared at her delicate skin, I realized I could whatever I pleased with this frail creature—the mirror image of my girlfriend. Ice coursed through my red-hot veins, cooling me down, and a chill ran down my spine. I panicked at the resistance I felt against my hands. I let go, shot to my feet, and cried out, “I-I’m sorry!”

Shigure smiled innocently. “See, you can do it if you try.”

“Huh?!”

“Well, you get points taken off for being so forceful, but it’s better than nothing.”

“What are you talking about?”

“Remember what you just said? ‘Is there anything that girls hate?! Teach me everything you know!’ Listen carefully: you value women too highly. No, that’s not right. Rather than valuing them too highly, it’d be better to say you’re too scared of them. But if you walk around with your tail tucked between your legs every time you’re with her, Haruka will start to grow timid, as well. You need to show more emotion. Don’t hide your feelings while expecting Haruka to reveal hers. In some cases, your passion might surprise or frighten her... but if your actions are rooted in love, she’ll forgive you. Haruka’s a good girl.”

“Erm...”

“Well then, that concludes Professor Shigure’s lecture on women. Now hurry up and eat. I want to clear the dishes away.”

Oh, I think I get it now.

Shigure could easily discern the difference between “just playing around” and “fighting.” So why had she crossed that line now, of all times, and prodded until I’d lost my cool? Perhaps she’d wanted to provide the unique experience of pouring my heart out to a girl. What’s more, it definitely hadn’t been for my benefit—no, it had been for Haruka’s.

“You know, you’re actually pretty nice,” I said.

“Oh, you just realized that now? You’re a horrible judge of character.”

It all seemed so obvious now. Shigure had probably been mad at me—her brother—for forcing her sister into making that call. I’d been prancing around like some ecstatic, love-sick baboon over Haruka’s words, but I’d essentially forced her into being the one to call the shots in our relationship. How long had she fretted over making that call? And once she’d actually done so, how nervous had I made her feel? When I considered her circumstances, my ecstasy quickly turned to self loathing, and I felt the strong desire to punch myself.

I’m positive that Shigure felt the same way about me, so I made a promise to her.

“Listen, Shigure—I’m definitely going to kiss Haruka tomorrow. And of course, I’m going to initiate it. She might reject me, but I’ll be the one to do it no matter what. After all, Haruka was the one to confess her feelings to me! If I don’t do this much, I won’t be setting a good example as a man.”

“Well, give it your best shot, I suppose.”

“Yeah. You bet.”