Volume 4, Chapter 9-1 – Demons, Delicious

Veronica stood before the entrance of Blood Demon Manor.

Beneath her feet lay shattered flagstones, scorched ruins, and dark golden blood spilled across the ground by Dragon Attendants of her own race.

But Veronica saw none of it.

She looked at Stella without saying a word.

The evening wind brushed past her damaged bat wings, their gaps filled with crystals of every color, while her golden hair fluttered messily in the air.

The golden vertical pupils of a dragon demon stared intently at the silver-and-red-haired girl before her, as though Veronica herself did not even know what she was doing.

‘Stella smelled like Mama…’

For a moment, Veronica found it almost unbearable.

The distance between them was so close, yet so far.

How Veronica wished someone would walk over to her, even if all they did was reach out and hold her tightly, wrapping their arms around her and accepting all her brokenness and unease.

But right now, she had no idea how she could make Stella become her mama.

Because Stella had already rejected her once.

Veronica could not describe how she had felt at the time. She did not know whether she had been happy or sad. She had only felt awful, painfully so, a pain impossible to put into words yet impossible to escape, like thorny vines wound tightly around her.

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All this time, it was as though she had been desperately searching the world for something she had lost, while vaguely sensing that what she was doing was destined to end in disappointment. Her heart already knew the outcome, yet desire stubbornly pushed her onward. Watching herself cling so greedily and refuse to give up made her feel sad. Her heart was shrouded in a shadow she could never brush away. She tried to use toys to fill the loneliness inside her, but unfamiliar hearts could never truly communicate.

Sadness was like a raging tidal wave, crashing heavily against the walls of her soul. Immediately afterward, uncontrollable mania flared like wildfire, scorching the wounds in her heart with blazing heat. Her sorrow seemed to find another outlet, transforming into madness that could no longer be suppressed.

Whether it was the longing deep within her heart, the tender whispers between lips and teeth, familial affection or friendship, everything would be swallowed whole by that madness.

Veronica did not want to be like this either. She herself did not understand where all this anger came from, but she knew it had to come from her true heart. The things that drove her mad came from her clear understanding of herself and from the helplessness that remained unchanged despite that understanding.

Veronica desperately wanted to control this version of herself, but she could not.

The madness in her heart was cunning and devious.

All those violent thoughts she hated always slipped in from the side, from underneath, through the cracks, from places she had already sealed shut. They quietly squeezed their way inside, then crowded out her own thoughts, allowing anger to gather silently with ominous speed, like a mob assembling, before swiftly destroying everything around her.

Veronica knew.

No one liked her when she was consumed by madness.

And no one could stand against her when she was consumed by madness.

Even Lavinia, the pureblood Samael Dragon Attendant who had always stayed by her side in the past, could only barely soothe her uncontrollable agitation with affection that Veronica knew was not sincere.

And yet Veronica always left Lavinia gravely wounded and on the verge of death.

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She always tore apart the only people willing to approach her until they were drenched in blood, leaving them lying in pools of blood and staring at her with terrified eyes.

She never meant to do any of it. But no matter what, whenever the madness she had been born with finally ended, one unimaginable and cruel reality after another would immediately appear before her eyes.

Friends she would never see again. Corpses beyond saving. Toys shattered into powder. Hands she could never hold again. An “I’m sorry” she could never say.

She had no choice but to force herself to accept it.

Her inability to control herself had destroyed everything she possessed.

Every time she woke from crimson madness, her heart was still completely empty.

Everything she had once possessed had already become ruins.

Friends, clansmen, even some pretty little trinket she had only just started to like, none of them existed anymore. She had crushed them all into fragments with her own hands.

The revelry faded, and she woke from the great dream.

All she possessed were hands stained with blood and regret too painful to face.

She hated losing control. She hated her own powerlessness. Yet she had no choice but to admit that there was nothing she could do.

She was like a barbarian who, if given a sword, might simply use it to kill herself.

Deep in her bones was a twisted pleasure in self-torment and self-destruction. She never left any room for anything and never gave herself a way out. She was like a wild child forever trapped in a rebellious phase, with no one to discipline her. There were only primal emotions, including the most savage ones, yet they were not directed at enemies. Her bloody actions were merely manifestations of a heart spinning out of control. She wanted to roar, to kill, to destroy, even to die.

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Veronica knew there was something wrong with her too. She had hesitated and wandered helplessly for a very long time, but she truly did not know what to do. Father had also told her that she was the heir of Samael, that she could kill whoever she wanted and there was absolutely nothing wrong with that. Power was everything.

But Veronica did not want things to be this way. She did not know how to stop. She tried desperately to control herself, but she could not.

In the end, she was left all alone. The only things she possessed were anger, regret, and an ugly heart.

Veronica desperately wished there were someone who could suppress her, someone who could restrain her. Someone who would step forward whenever she did something wrong and punish her without mercy, hit her, scold her, lock her away, yet absolutely never choose to leave her because of her mistakes, her madness, or her ugliness.

And that person could only be her mama.

Mama. Just saying the word made her throat tighten.

Mama, the most powerful name of all.

“Mama…”

Veronica murmured to herself.

Her steps continued through the pool of blood. Blood and mud splashed up along the way, staining her shoes and stockings, but she did not notice at all.

She stared at Stella with longing, but the approaching night filled her with fear. She was afraid of having those dreams. Her life had already been split in two, with day and night fighting for control over her.

Veronica’s ears began to ring, as though a symphony were being played inside her body.

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The main instrument was her heart. Her blood surged restlessly, her lips went numb, the top of her head felt as though it were splitting apart, and a wonderful yet sinister chill spread throughout her body, growing faster and faster, drawing closer and closer.

It was happening…

Dark golden magical power began surging around her.

The crystals and gemstones filling the gaps in her damaged bat wings began to glow.

Veronica closed her eyes. Her heart thrashed like a flame, and a fierce impulse ran through her blood, yearning to embark upon an unruly journey.

‘I’m sorry, Mama.’

‘Veronica is a bad girl.’

Translator Note

Veronica joins the fray!