Interlude: The Scars of the Festival

In your typical love story, a girl declaring her resolve to die would be all it took to touch the heart of the man she loved. Ada had dreamed of living out that scenario.

Yet why does he remain unswayed? she lamented, biting down on her lip each time she reflected back on what had happened.

Ada had shown him that which gave birth to defective spellcasters, the powder of a contract stone, and made clear her intent to use it—and Reginald had simply laid a hand on his sword. The moment she saw him do that, Ada could have sworn everything went black.

Prince Reginald had turned his back on her. She’d gotten the message loud and clear, but she didn’t know where she was supposed to go from there. All she could think to do was pretend she’d turned into a spellcaster so that he would keep her by his side.

All to give her the chance to assassinate him in battle, then turn herself to ash—to give her the chance to make him hers for all of eternity.

The one who had given her the idea was Queen Marianne, after learning of her feelings for the prince.

I know how hard it is when circumstances keep you from the one you love. When the words fell from the queen’s red-painted lips, they had lit a fire under Ada.

“I couldn’t have the man I wanted, either. Before I realized I needed to make him mine, Farzia robbed him of his life. You mustn’t fail where I have. If you truly love him, you have to make sure no one can take him away from you. After all, if you don’t take his life with your own hands, can you truly claim he’s yours?”

The queen claimed to have lost the man she loved. Llewyne and Farzia were constantly at war, so it wasn’t surprising for something of the sort to have happened. Worse still, Llewyne’s defeat had led to her marrying the very king whose country had killed her lover.

After hearing that story, Ada finally understood why the queen wore nothing but Llewynian garments. Anyone could have guessed that it was symbolic of her will to never let Farzia taint her, but it seemed there had been a deeper reason for it all this time.

Knowing that the queen had been torn from the man she loved and forced to marry someone she hated, Ada had felt a pang of sympathy.

“Now that you’ve already been married, there are only two ways for you to be joined to the one you love. One is to rebuild this country alongside me and win the prince’s heart. The other is to make him forever yours in death. It’s a choice that was denied to me, so I don’t want you to make the wrong one. Think it over and choose wisely.”

Ever since the queen had said that to her, Ada had set her sights on the first option. She would woo him, protect him, and they would find happiness together.

Her powers as a spellcaster would no doubt lend themselves toward that goal. Neither the Llewynian nobility nor the new aristocracy of Farzia could afford to slight as valuable an asset as a spellcaster. So long as she had her magic, she would be held in high regard. If she wanted to take the prince as her husband, they would have no choice but to give her their blessing.

However, Ada hadn’t anticipated that Reginald himself would be the one to reject her. When she had faked her suicide attempt, she had been so sure he would say, It’s alright. You don’t have to do that. I’ll protect you.

Even Felix, that knight who always seemed to be glaring her down, had made an effort to stop her. The thought only saddened her further.

Right as she was falling into the depths of despair, the one to say the words she’d been waiting to hear... had been Kiara. Don’t be so cruel to yourself, she’d said. You’ve endured so much already.

Exactly. Ada had weathered every trial thrown her way. When her betrothed had jilted her at the altar, her parents had lamented the disgrace she’d brought upon them instead of comforting her. After fleeing in despair, she’d been forced into a marriage with a repugnant man. She’d even been turned into a spellcaster against her will.

The one she had met after enduring all those hardships had been Prince Reginald. All for the sake of making him hers, uninitiated though she was, she’d traveled all the way to the lines of battle and carried out her orders, claiming lives with each step she took.

And yet, the one who understood Ada best had been the very girl she’d despised and belittled. The shock of it had left her stunned.

She didn’t have it in her to refuse the girl’s tender embrace or kind words. It had been too easy to mindlessly accept the very things she’d craved for so long.

When she looked up, she’d seen that—unlike Prince Reginald, who was already busy talking to someone else—Felix had been watching her with an unusually relieved look on his face. Perhaps he was optimistic that Ada wouldn’t be causing him any more trouble after this. Despite the twinge of irritation she’d felt at the thought, she’d simply let Kiara steer her away to another room, reluctant to struggle against the warmth of her arms.

Even after they’d taken a seat on the sofa, Kiara had kept her arms wrapped firmly around Ada. Considering the way she’d always treated the girl, Ada couldn’t fathom why Kiara was being so nice to her. Had Ada’s attitude not bothered her at all?

When they got to talking, not only did Kiara appear to bear no grudge, she even sympathized with Ada over Reginald’s frosty attitude. Clearly she didn’t realize that Ada had bad-mouthed her in front of countless strangers; it was the only possible explanation for why she would act that way.

Ada had been so engrossed in her thoughts that she missed her chance to thank Kiara for ushering her away from that fiasco. Before she could get around to it, Emmeline had shown up and forced her to participate in a strange masquerade.

Frankly, she hadn’t been remotely in the mood for a festival. All she’d wanted was to weasel her way out of it.

That was when Kiara had taken off running in a completely outlandish costume. Rather than a fondness for strange onesies, it seemed the deciding factor had been that it allowed her to hide her face.

To make matters worse, Reginald had walked in on her right at the moment she’d chased Kiara down. When she saw him roaring with laughter, Ada felt like she’d seen Reginald’s true self for the first time. It brought back memories of the male friends she used to chat with once upon a time.

She’d made a habit of avoiding them after she was married off to that nauseating viscount, hoping they wouldn’t find out what had become of her; however, now that she’d been reminded of how much fun she used to have with them, she wanted a chance to talk with the prince the same way. If she could make him laugh the way Kiara had, she’d thought, perhaps he would open up to her a little bit more.

And yet, even after running all over the castle, she hadn’t managed to track down the prince. The soldiers she’d run into along the way had all looked appalled, much to Ada’s indignation. Kiara’s master had given her a fright, Reginald had thrown Kiara in her path as a diversion, and still she’d refused to give up in her search.

When she dashed down the stairs and rounded the corner, she nearly bumped into someone.

“Whoa there!”

Just as she nearly tumbled backward from the impact, a familiar man caught her by the waist.

It was the sandy-haired Felix.

The moment she realized it was him, even though the whole point had been to make the prince laugh, getting caught in such a silly costume suddenly made her want to crawl into a hole and die. Judging by the grin that overtook his features, she was sure he was about to say, Wow, you’re really making a fool of yourself, aren’t you?

Once he had withdrawn his hand from her waist, however, what he actually said next defied her expectations. “Why don’t you go around like that all the time?”

“What?”

It was so far from what she’d expected to hear that Ada was left speechless. Why, he wasn’t making fun of her at all!

“But... don’t you find it bizarre?” she asked, too surprised to help herself.

Felix responded without missing a beat, “It has its own sort of charm. A bit unconventional, sure, but you’re a lot more fun to look at like this than when you’re storming around like a woman possessed.”

“Fun to look at” probably wasn’t a compliment in this context, but he wasn’t being critical, either. It was the first time anyone had reacted to her that way.

“You... You think so?”

“If you dress like that whenever you chase down His Highness, I’m sure everyone will just laugh and let it slide. Good day to you, milady.” With that, Felix took his leave. He didn’t bother trying to detain her.

She was allowed to continue her hunt for the prince. Felix had just told her as much... but strangely enough, she no longer felt up to chasing him.

“I suppose I ought to get changed.”

Something told her there was no reason to stay dressed like this any longer. As she was heading back to her room to change clothes, Ada climbed the stairs and rounded the corner into the corridor.

Just then, she saw a door fly open, only for Kiara to rush out of the room. From there, the girl hurled herself straight into her own chambers.

Ada wondered what that could have been about, only to see Prince Reginald emerge from the same room moments later. Her eyes widened. That meant the two of them had been in the same room all this time.

While Ada watched on in shock, Reginald gently pressed a hand against the door to Kiara’s room, hanging his head. “If I wait a little longer, will you finally realize? Or will you just pretend not to notice?” he murmured, then retreated down the stairs on the opposite end of the corridor.

“It can’t be,” Ada muttered. Long after Reginald had left, she remained rooted to the spot.

She didn’t want to believe it. Then again, the pair of them had always seemed awfully close. Prince Reginald never said much to Ada, yet whenever he was around Kiara, his expression always seemed to brighten.

“Plus, he laughed when it was her.”

When it was Ada wearing the costume, forget laughing, he had fled in a panic.

What’s more, when Ada saw Kiara the next day, she noticed she was wearing a ring with a light blue gemstone on the middle finger of her right hand. The pale hue matched the prince’s eyes perfectly.

Ada despised Kiara, the one and only person who had ever noticed how much pain she was in. Seeing her with that ring made Ada feel like her heart had been torn in two, and she wanted nothing more than to wring the girl by the neck and scream, Why did you get everything I wanted after you ran away?! Why can’t I have anything after I’ve endured so much?!

Once night had fallen, Ada pulled the candle atop her writing desk closer, scribbling down every pertinent detail on a sheet of paper as if it were a way to channel her heartache. It was around time for her to report back.

“Who gives a damn anymore?”

She would never win the prince’s heart. It hurt to watch so much evidence pile up right before her eyes, no matter how loath she was to admit it. No longer did she have it in her to dream of a happily ever after. In which case, there was nothing left to do but make sure no one else could have him.

Oh, how she hated Kiara.

And so, in tiny, cramped letters, she wrote all about the girl’s powers and Farzia’s chain of command. She even jotted down her predictions for what they would do upon their arrival at Trisphede.

Ada’s reconnaissance would be what brought the Farzian army down.

She giggled. “Die, all of you.”

However, that laughter gradually dissolved into weeping.

If she killed Reginald, Felix—that knight who had laughed and complimented her—would surely despise her for it. If he turned his sword against her, she would have no choice but to kill him.

And if she killed Kiara, no one would ever sympathize with her suffering again. Some part of her just wanted to be comforted once more. Some part of her just wanted another hug. Yet she could not rid herself of her hatred.

As she bit down on her lip, furiously wiping away the tears trailing down her cheeks, Ada nearly crumpled the letter in her hand.