Chapter 1: The Queen of Hearts Starts a War

I Reincarnated As Evil Alice, So the Only Thing I'm Courting Is Death! — LNCrawler · All chapters

ON that day, I sat down for afternoon tea with a heavy heart.

Sunlight poured in through the conservatory windows and bathed the dining table in light. My favorite berry tarts and freshly baked pies were spread out before me, while the three-tiered trays were overflowing with scones. By all appearances, it should have made for a lovely teatime.

I was holding my favorite teacup, which was speckled in a pattern of little flowers.

The Assam tea—my drink of choice—was still steaming hot.

And yet, not one of these things was enough to lift my spirits.

Why isn’t anything happening?

Nearly a week had passed since I regained my memories of being reborn as the heroine of Evil Alice’s Lover. While I was truly happy to have a chance to live as a character I idolized, there was still one big problem.

No matter how long I waited, I wasn’t being presented with any choices.

The whole point of an otome game is to make certain choices that guide you through the story, form a closer relationship to the character you want to pursue, and try to reach the best ending possible.

Without choices, the heroine becomes completely powerless. Unfortunately for me, that was my current reality.

If you can’t make any progress with the other characters, you can’t move forward in the game. Without pursuing a specific character, a bad ending is the only outcome. The screen will suddenly turn to black, spell out the words The End, and send you back to the main menu.

As an evil heroine, “Alice” has no shortage of dangers and enemies to face.

To play carelessly is to meet with certain death. Choosing the wrong route results in Alice’s death, as do accidents, illnesses, abductions… There are countless circumstances that can get Alice killed.

In my past life, Evil Alice’s Lover was well-known for the number of dramatic death scenes it had. It even won the Deadliest Game of the Year award after its release, in recognition of all the toil it put its players through. For comparison, the runner-up was an MMO where the players are chased by a maniacal killer in a deadly game of tag. An otome game had to be pretty crazy to beat that.

“What should I do? It feels like my life could end at any moment…”

My shoulders slumped, and the boys sitting to my left and right both stared at me intently.

“What’s the matter, Alice? You look like a sullen frog waiting for the rain.”

“What’s the matter, Alice? You look like a frightened rabbit staring up at the sky.”

The two children stuffing their mouths with cake were the Tweedle brothers. They were identical twins, dressed in matching sailor tops and overalls, and both had the same adorable face and high-pitched voice.

The older brother, Dum, had a mole on the left side of his face, underneath his round blue eyes. Dee was the younger twin, with a mole of his own under his right eye.

It didn’t matter if you couldn’t tell them apart, because Dum was always the one who spoke first.

“Don’t mind me. I’m just a bit bothered about what choices I can make…”

“Bothered?”

“Choices?”

The twins looked at each other in confusion. Little did they know, they were one such choice themselves.

In the Tweedle brothers’ true ending, the three of us state, “Let’s stay together forever” as we pledge our innocent love to each other. It’s a cute, wholesome story, and after the ending cutscene, there’s even a CG of our future wedding where the twins have grown into handsome adult men. It was a very popular ending.

I enjoyed it too. In the fandom, it was known as the “Blissful Future Route.”

I would have liked to choose their route if I could. However, as an “Alice” who had no clear path to go down, I wasn’t even sure if I’d survive one more night. So disappointing!

“Why, yes, choices! I meant to say that I need to choose a dinner menu for tonight. What’s actually bothering me is this heap of letters.”

With a forced smile, I set my gold letter opener back down on the table. Stacked on top of a plate was a mountain of paper.

Each letter was an invitation to a ball being hosted by various well-known noblemen. No two events were scheduled for the same evening, as if they’d all been coordinating with one another, unbeknownst to the rest of us. While I would have been pleased to be invited to a single event on its own, it felt a lot more like harassment to be expected to attend balls day after day.

“I know the season is right for socializing, but I wonder why these people are hosting parties almost every single night.”

The twins, still with frosting on their faces, responded to my confusion.

“It must be because of all the delicious food. It’s a real treat.”

“It must be because of all the beautiful girls. It’s a real treat.”

“Perhaps I shouldn’t attend…”

It was a dilemma. The Liddell family held a rank of their own, a barony, which meant that as members of the upper class, it was important to maintain relationships with fellow nobles. Rejecting an invitation from anyone higher in rank, like an earl or a duke, was no easy task.

But still, it was I, the sixteen-year-old Alice, who was the head of our family.

In this game, I couldn’t inherit the family rank as a woman, and because there were no eligible male relatives to receive it either, the title was temporarily suspended. Many nobles were displeased by this, and their opposition only grew stronger if I didn’t attend their events.

“I must go. I promised Father while he was still alive…”

As I leaned back in my chair, the ghastly memories flooded my mind. My beloved parents, many of our servants, and even “Alice” herself were all killed in that tragedy, three years earlier…

“Oh my, good morning. You three are up bright and early.”

I snapped out of my thoughts as a young man entered the conservatory with a yawn.

He strode into the room on long, slender legs, and I couldn’t help but be reminded of a stray cat, the way he walked without a care in the world. His ashy-green hair, tied into a ponytail and draped to one side, bobbed with each step. The man was wearing a striped sweater, slim-fitting trousers, and a snake earring in one of his ears. It reminded me of fashion styles I was used to seeing in my past life.

What drew my eye in particular was the bright-pink shawl wrapped around his neck. It was such a strikingly different color from the rest of his outfit, it almost made him look like a severed head floating above a body.

He always gave people quite a shock when they first laid eyes on him. But he loved that about his style.

“Good morning, Leeds. Although it’s hardly ‘morning’ anymore.”

The wall clock read four p.m. when I glanced at it. The shadows being cast by the sunlight had been growing longer for some time now.

“Why, it’s already time for afternoon tea.”

“Goodness me. But it’s not that I’m late, you see. It’s simply a matter of time being too hasty, and the clocks just can’t put their feet down and say no. I wish they’d learn that no one likes a pushover.”

Leeds, another one of Alice’s potential love interests within the game, always had unique things to say like that. On the outside, he seemed like an effeminate man with plenty of life wisdom to offer, but on the inside, he was purehearted to a fault. That contrast between his two sides caused many players to fall for him.

There was one particularly famous scene during his route in which Leeds accidentally walks in on Alice changing. His face turns as red as a tomato when he sees her in nothing but her underwear. It was such a hit, the wall scroll they made of that CG sold out within five seconds, or so the legend went. Leeds’s story was called the “Sinful Man Route,” and once again, I was unable to pursue it in my current state.

“And here I thought that time always passed at a constant rate. Are you telling me now that it can slow down or speed up?”

“Well, can it?”

Leeds winked at the three of us with a relaxed look on his face.

“You’ll understand someday, my dears. Just wait until you meet the love of your life but can never make the time to see them.”

“I don’t think that day will ever come for me.”

That line came from the game, not my own feelings. However, there was an extra layer of bitterness for me, stuck in the situation that I found myself in. Romance had to be the last thing on my mind with the many other problems I faced.

Protecting Great Britain from the shadows was no easy task. My duties included chasing the most heinous criminals to the ends of the earth to eliminate them, as well as investigating difficult cases that could be a threat to the order of the kingdom.

Being a secret executioner was the same as being a detective who holds the world together from behind the scenes.

I can’t be daydreaming about love with everything else on my plate.

As I sighed, Leeds put his hands on his hips in frustration, and the chain of his belt jingled with the motion.

“Of course you’ll meet someone. Everyone on this earth has a soulmate they’re destined to meet in life. And no one can hold a candle to your looks, Miss Alice. Your soulmate definitely won’t let you slip away.”

“My looks? I’m average at best…”

Only after the words slipped out did I remember. I was reincarnated as the ultimate beauty!

“Th-There are definitely people cuter than me in the rest of the world! I’m not even wearing makeup, and my clothes are rather dull too. I’m nothing compared to any other young lady out there.”

I was wearing a frilly apron over a black dress and had my hair down, with a black ribbon as an accessory. In my previous life, we would have called it “gothic Lolita” fashion, but to anyone playing the game, it was simply a normal outfit for Alice.

Otome game characters typically have two different kinds of outfits they can wear. There’s the “everyday style” that they wear for most of the game, but during special events, you get to see their formal outfits. At that moment, I was wearing my everyday clothes. It was a normal look, perfectly fitting for a normal day.

“Your clothes have got nothing to do with it, Miss Alice. Right now, I’m staring directly at the cutest girl I’ve ever seen! If you can’t see it, then I’ll cast a spell to boost your confidence.”

Leeds spread his arms and puckered his lips. He was going for something wild to distract from how purehearted he was being. A daily hug from Leeds was a guarantee, and an added kiss on the cheek wasn’t uncommon either.

As I watched his face approach mine, my mind suddenly sprang to life.

If I accept this kiss, will I be entering Leeds’s route?

I couldn’t remember his route at all.

I don’t want to fall in love with someone who’ll give me a low chance of survival…

I squeezed my eyes shut in a panic, but at that moment, I heard a deep, gloomy voice.

“How’d you like it if I sliced you up and turned you into fromage blanc?”

Leeds was now frozen in place with a dessert knife being pressed against his neck. A boy held the blade against Leeds’s artery with one hand, and with his other, he carried a plate stacked with mint treats. His glare was sharp and filled with anger.

This boy’s name was Jack. He was two years older than “Alice,” making him eighteen, with soft-looking, fine black hair. He was wearing an exquisitely tailored butler’s suit, though with his tie loosened and tailcoat wrapped around his waist, any tailor would surely shed tears if they laid eyes on it.

Though his appearance made him look careless, Jack was anything but lacking.

Known as the “Bad-Boy Butler Route,” his story was the most popular route in the game.

Young ladies always love their bad boys. It’s an irresistible formula: a scary-looking boy, whom no one wants to approach, showing his tender side only when it comes to the heroine.

“I’m the only one in the world who understands him.” The bad boy recognizes this shared bond and opens up his heart to you alone…!

In Jack’s case, he wasn’t alone in life, but the story of how he developed his grumpy personality was fascinating. The first time I played his route in my previous life, I cried until my eyes felt like they were about to dissolve. Then I prayed for three days straight that Jack would find eternal happiness.

He was, of course, my favorite character in the game, but even in my new life as Alice, Jack was someone I trusted with all my heart. He was also the only servant in the manor, so he took on most of the housework as well.

Where were all my other servants? Well, it was just as Dodsley had said. My family had fallen into ruin.

It was only recently that—

“Do as you please, Jack. But how exactly would you turn me into fromage blanc? Miss Alice, do you know how it’s made?”

“It’s a creamy spread made of cheese, milk, and sugar, is it not?”

“Oh dear, I didn’t hear my name in that list. Bad luck, huh, Jack?”

As Leeds snickered at him, Jack clicked his tongue and pulled the knife away.

“I know that, obviously! I’m tired enough as it is, so don’t test me. Bloody annoying…”

His sharp tongue was only part of his charm, though he was never so harsh toward me or the twins. Jack set the plate down gently on the table.

“Miss Alice, what’s with all these letters?”

I looked at the sea of mail.

“They’re nothing important. Just invitations.”

“Invitations?”

Jack frowned at my response, and the twins slammed their forks down on the table.

“That’s right! They’re all from men who want to cozy up to the famous Alice Liddell!” they cried in unison.

“Dum, Dee, that’s not how we should be putting it.”

I hurriedly tried to warn them, but it was too late.

I could see the tensed vein bulging along Jack’s temple. He was gritting his teeth. “You mean it? These nobodies want to seduce our Miss Alice?”

“I didn’t say that. No one said anything about seducing me!”

Jack’s anger caused his white-gloved hands to erupt into flames. The cloth turned to ash and fell away, revealing images of black roses on the back of each of his hands.

This was Jack’s “stigma.”

To live is to eventually reach the point of death, but if the circumstances of a death are particularly tragic, a passing demon may just take enough of an interest to bring you back to life.

Any person given life by a demon will never be allowed to enter heaven. Thus, they are branded with the stigma as a mark for those who are damned to hell upon their deaths. These individuals are also known as demon children, or “stigmata,” and their existence is even more fabled than that of fairies and nymphs to the people of Great Britain.

It was only natural that most people would never lay eyes on the power the stigma contained.

Jack’s stigma produced flames that burned away the objects of his hatred.

Sparks shot from his hands and landed on the table, sending the letters up in flames. The twins let out amused cries as the invitations turned to a pile of ashes atop the plate they had once sat on.

I suddenly worried that the house itself might be the next thing to burn down.

“Calm down, Jack.”

I clasped my hands together and turned to him, but it was as if he couldn’t hear me.

“Don’t worry, Miss Alice. He’ll burn out soon.”

Immediately after Leeds spoke, the flames extinguished like candles on a birthday cake.

The object of Jack’s rage—the invitations addressed to Alice—had all been turned to ash.

“Now we’ll never know which families sent these…”

I sighed, staring at the mountain of ash.

Small scraps of paper drifted through the air, sparkling in the light of the afternoon sun.

“Look, Miss Alice. This one didn’t burn.”

I followed Leeds’s gaze to a single envelope beneath the ashes. “Was this there the whole time?” I asked as I turned the letter over to observe the sealing wax.

It bore the crest of a shield being guarded by a lion and a unicorn. This was none other than the mark of Queen Victoria, the ruler of our kingdom.

“This isn’t an invitation, so it looks like it survived. It’s a letter from Her Majesty.”

I sliced through the envelope with my letter opener and removed the contents. The Queen’s handwriting on the paper was smooth and elegant.

Good day, my dear little lambs. I heard you’ve already taken care of a certain prominent arson case. Such hard workers you are. My palace maids could learn a thing or two from you all.

“What does it say, Alice?”

“What does Her Majesty have to say?”

The twins, unable to read, had to wait for my explanation.

“She says that you two have been a great help to her.”

“Yaaay!”

They bounced out of their chairs and high-fived. I continued to read the Queen’s letter.

Now, I have a very important subject to discuss with you, Alice, my dear friend. Be sure to read this next part away from prying eyes.

Jack scowled as he read over my shoulder. “Miss Alice only? What kind of order is it?”

“It’s not an order. It’s simply normal chitchat that girls like to write to each other.”

Her Majesty would address private messages to me from time to time.

It was usually a frivolous discussion of things like her recent dress purchases or the handsome foreign men she’d hired as servants. Women always enjoy having someone to share in their excitement about these kinds of things.

I hid the letter behind my back so that Jack couldn’t read it. Leeds came up from that direction and wrapped his arms around me.

“If it’s for girls only, then you won’t mind if I take a peek, right?”

“You’re no girl! And we all see you trying to rub up against Miss Alice!”

Jack smacked Leeds on the head with a serving tray. It made an impressive clang, but Leeds just stood and smiled as if his skull were made of stone.

“Her Majesty ordered me to read this alone, and I have no intention of disobeying.”

I left my seat and placed my back to the window, turning my gaze to the Queen’s secret message.

Alice, it’s thanks to you that our kingdom can sleep soundly at night. As a token of my gratitude, I’ve instructed that the Liddell family be eligible to receive the money set aside to pay off informants.

Her Majesty was a private supporter of the Liddell family’s work. She believed that preserving the harmony of Great Britain by any means necessary would keep the population satisfied with their government.

Previous monarchs never openly praised the Liddells either, but they did provide us pay for the crimes we solved. As a family that didn’t rule over any land, we were only able to avoid a life of poverty thanks to this tradition.

You have my sincerest thanks, Alice. You’re a very strong woman, though I know it is difficult in this kingdom for a noblewoman to live on her own. I believe that someday our sex will be able to live strong, independent lives, but that era has yet to grace us. For that reason, I’ve selected a number of men I believe would make suitable husbands for you.

“I beg your pardon?”

The response left my lips involuntarily when I read the last line. What was she talking about? Selecting men for me?

I’m sure by now you’ve received a large number of invitations to various balls. I’ve seen to it that each man is of satisfactory rank and personality, so all that’s left is for you to take your pick. Enjoy!

“So, Her Majesty was responsible for all those invitations…”

Of all the routes in the game, I never encountered a plot involving the Queen trying to set me up with a husband. It appeared that my life was not following the script of Evil Alice’s Lover anymore, which was why the usual choices weren’t appearing like they were supposed to.

I don’t want to go along with this, but if I stay on a new course, maybe I won’t have to be afraid of all the death flags anymore.

Alice will meet with a swift death if she becomes too desperate in her search for wrongdoers.

Seeing as the love interests in the game are all connected to the Liddell family’s work, the further you develop your romance with them, the more dangerous the plot begins to turn.

But then, what will happen if I marry a man who isn’t a love interest in the game…?

My future husband would inherit the title of baron, according to the rules of this game. I would no longer be the head of the family and would live the remainder of my life as a baroness. Naturally, I would lose control of the Liddell family’s secret operations as well.

There was no doubt that this would drastically reduce the opportunities for me to be killed.

“Yes! I’ll marry a side character! And I’ll retire from everything evil!” I declared.

Leeds and Jack jumped up in shock as I clutched the letter in my hand.

“Miss Alice, you’re getting married…?”

“I don’t care what Her Majesty says. I won’t approve of any man she wants to set you up with!”

“No way!”

“Absolutely not!”

Even the twins held up their fists in protest. It looked like all four of them became a bit overprotective when they weren’t my love interests.

“I-I just meant I would get married if the opportunity arose…”

I was surprised by their reactions, and my eyes fell to a newspaper resting on the table. The front page featured a story about young women who couldn’t be woken up—dubbed the “Sleeping Beauty” cases by the media.

“More importantly, does this article interest anyone else?”

I spread the newspaper out as a distraction for them.

“These ‘Sleeping Beauties’ are close to my age. I’m not thinking about marriage, but if I pretend this whole thing has me worried, then I should be able to get information out of various noblemen. That’s what Her Majesty told me.”

The four boys agreed to make our next target the perpetrator of the Sleeping Beauty cases. It was quite a relief. I didn’t want the family I shared my home with to be suspicious of me, even over a reason like my love life.

“Will you join me in protecting the harmony of Great Britain?”

I held out my right hand, and the two brothers on either side of me grabbed my thumb and pinkie.

“Of course, our dear Alice!”

“I’ll go the ends of the earth for our charming lady!”

Leeds placed his hand on top of mine, and Jack’s followed after that. The stigma was no longer visible on his skin.

“I pledge my powers to you, Miss Alice…even though it’s exhausting.”

On the count of three, the four of them pushed my hand down together.

“Anything for Alice!” they cheered.

I always loved this scene in my past life.

Alice is not related to these people by blood, but you can still feel the strong bonds of family and friendship between them. This is the ritual they perform at least once in every case.

“Oh dear, why does it smell like smoke in here? What are you cute kiddies up to?!”

Just as we finished our cheer of unity, a large man holding a pudding dish entered the conservatory.

His thick eyebrows gave him a masculine-looking face, and the man’s body was covered in enormous, defined muscles. It made him look like a wrestler. He was wearing a brown tie over a white chef’s uniform, although he was not our cook.

This man was Bernard Liddell—Alice’s uncle. Bernard wore his hair in a very unique style, with the top layer twisted back around both sides of his head, and the rest tied into a thin braid.

We called him “Bear” because of his name, as well as from the bearlike silhouette his hair always cast.

Bear often stopped by the house to cook fancy Italian food for the five of us, since he worried about us children living on our own. He’s not a love interest in the game, but he’s a dear member of my family.

Not that he had any idea about the secret work we carried out. Nor did I have any intention of telling him.

I stuffed the Queen’s letter away in my apron pocket.

“We were trying to make Vienna coffee, Uncle Bear. You place a sugar cube on a spoon, douse it in strong vodka, and set it on fire.”

“But we used too strong a flame, so it all turned to ash. Isn’t that just hilarious?”

“I’ve never heard of that happenin’ before! Coffee’s made from roasted beans, so I bet it burns up nice and fast!”

Bear broke into a big smile after hearing Leeds’s quick explanation.

The man’s never-ending cheer was so essential to the Liddell home.

“Well, either way, I’m just glad you didn’t burn the whole place down. Now, who wants a cup of Uncle Bear’s special pudding?!”

“I do!”

The twins scrambled to claim their dessert.

“Dum, Dee. If you eat too much, you’ll spoil your appetite before dinner.”

It was then that Bear held out a single envelope to me.

“I almost forgot. This came in the mail for you, Alice.”

“Another letter?”

It was deep blue in color, exactly like that of the night sky. I ran my letter opener through the paper.

A small card fell out of the opening with a time and location printed on it.

I read the message off the lacy stationery.

Dear Miss Alice Liddell of the esteemed Liddell family,

I am writing to invite you to an evening of entertainment at my London residence. I would love nothing more than to be graced by your beautiful presence.

With love,

Earl Dark Arland Knightley

“The first side character is here…!”

I snickered, the card gripped tightly in my hands.

If anyone saw the look on my face at that moment, they’d probably be quite creeped out. But that simply didn’t matter. All I cared about was making the most of the opportunity I’d just been presented.

Would I be able to form a relationship with Lord Knightley, this side character? My very life depended on that question.

“Is that from Her Majesty too?”

“No, this is an invitation to a ball being held two nights from now.”

I quickly changed my expression in response to Jack’s question. There could be no worse fate for an otome gamer than to let your bias see you making a weird face.

“An earl by the name of Lord Knightley will be hosting a ball at his residence. Since the other invitations were burned to a crisp, I’d like to attend this one. Will we be able to prepare in time?”

Leeds put his hands on his hips and grimaced at me. “I thought you hated high society, Miss Alice. What’s with the sudden change of heart?”

“Hmm, how strange.”

“Hmm, how suspicious.”

Even the twins stared back at me with doubt in their wide eyes.

“It’s to gather information for the case! Don’t look at me like that!”

As I shouted at the group, I started to sense something deeper.

If I was going to pursue a side character as my love interest, one source of trouble might end up being these four people standing around me.