Side Story: The Battle for Mile

Side Story:
The Crimson Vow vs. The Wonder Trio
The Battle for Mile

 

Sometime later in a certain kingdom, the Crimson Vow were walking through town when suddenly a voice called to them from behind.

“My, it has been a while!”

On this particular day, Mile was off on her own taking care of some individual business, so Reina, Mavis, and Pauline were working as a trio. The moment they turned to see their interlocutor, disgust spread over Reina’s face, clear as day. “Bweh! You all again…?”

“You should never greet a young maiden with so crude a response as ‘Bweh!’ That’s not language that a proper lady should even be using in the first place,” said the newcomer.

“Well, aren’t you proper?! I don’t have any use for that fancy noble-ish talk of yours.”

“I am not ‘noble-ish’! I am a true and proper noble!”

“But Mavis and Mile don’t talk that way,” Reina replied.

“Wha…? P-please don’t ever compare me to those two! If you’re going to do that, why I’ll have to start comparing the peddler’s daughter to ‘Jane the Hustler’!”

“…My apologies.” Reina’s apology was sincere.

“Um,” said Mavis, rather uneasily, “Just who is this ‘Jane the Hustler’ who you’re comparing me with?”

“Forgive us!”

The two bowed their heads in apology to Mavis. Apparently, this “Jane the Hustler” was quite the seedy character.

“So, what do you all want this time?” asked Reina.

The girl placed her hand to her heart and replied, “We have come to take back what is rightfully ours: Miss Adele. She belongs at our side!”

The girl’s two companions gave an emphatic nod.

“We are the three splendid sisters blessed by the Goddess…”

“The Wonder Trio!!!”

Kaboooom!

With no regard for the fact that they were in the middle of town, the Wonder Trio—Marcela, Monika, and Aureana—struck a pose as an explosion sounded and tricolored smoke streamed behind them.

It was very much reminiscent of the Crimson Vow’s performance at the graduation trial of a certain Hunters’ Prep School.

“Nnh…”

Reina clutched her skull.

“Damn it, we can’t lose to them! We are three allies, bound at the—”

“Quit it!” Reina shouted, chopping Mavis in the forehead to cut her off. “Anyway, let’s take this somewhere else! Come with me!”

Seeing how a crowd was beginning to gather at the commotion they had caused, the six girls quickly changed locations.

 

“Now then, what is it you wanted?” asked Reina.

“I already told you!” Marcela yelled. “Miss Adele belongs with us…”

“Ah, yes, yes, once upon a time there was a poor young girl who believed such foolish things…” said Reina, aping the manner of Mile’s Japanese folktales.

“Please do not mock me! Just what do you ladies know of Miss Adele? Do you truly believe that she is happy remaining with you? Are you certain that you are not merely a pack of leeches, relying on Miss Adele for every little thing?”

“Wha?! Wh-what did you…? You’re always going on about ‘Adele this, Adele that’… No girl by that name exists anymore! The girl you’re referring to is Mile, a C-rank hunter, our classmate and roommate at the Hunters’ Prep School! If you’re looking for someone named Adele, then maybe you need to take your search elsewhere.

“She is the one who chose to leave her old name and home behind to live as ‘Mile, the rookie hunter,’ so if you’re so willing to ignore that girl’s wishes and continue reducing her to who she was back then, then maybe you are the ones who are doing her a disservice!”

“Wh-wh-wh-wh…”

“Whatcha got to say?!”

“What are you saying?!”

“Grrrrrrrrrrrrrngh…”

With each barb, the girls struck harder and harder at each other’s most sensitive spots until they both were seeing red. Monika and Aureana, as well as Mavis and Pauline, looked back and forth between the pair nervously when suddenly the two shouted the decisive words at one another:

“Bring it!”

“Let’s settle this!”

“First of all, we must decide the method of combat. That way there won’t be any whining and complaining from you lot afterward saying, ‘Oh, that match was a setup, so it doesn’t count,’ or ‘You only won because you chose something you’re good at.’”

“That sounds like something you would say!”

“Nnh…”

“Mmnh…”

“Grrrrrrrrrgh…”

Since at this rate the two seemed likely to end up stuck in an eternal feedback loop, the other four took it upon themselves to lead the discussion, mutually agreeing on a mode of combat.

Well, to put it more precisely, they agreed on a method of deciding a mode of combat.

Each side wrote four different contests on a piece of paper, and then each was required to choose two entries from the other side’s list. Those four chosen entries became the chosen modes.

The results of this were the following: a cooking battle, a shopping battle, a comedy battle, and a battle of smiles.

For each contest, both sides would select one representative from their team to compete. The team itself was free to decide which member would represent them.

As it would be necessary to have Mile herself serve as the judge for these contests, they parted ways, resolving to reconvene the following day with Mile in tow.

“Tomorrow, we’re gonna show you all what’s what, once and for all.”

“As shall we! Go on now. Enjoy your final evening with Miss Adele.”

“Grrrrrrrrrngh…”

 

***

 

And so, the next day arrived.

“Wh-what the heck is this…?”

Mile, who had been detained by Reina early that morning and forbidden to eat breakfast, was not in the best of spirits. Her stomach growled. However, she knew that her friends would not force her to do something so heinous as skip breakfast without good reason, so, while she was annoyed, she allowed Reina to escort her down the stairs after breakfast had concluded. When she reached the dining hall and saw that there was only one occupied table in the room, she gasped.

“Miss Marcela, Miss Monika, Miss Aureana! It’s been ages! So that’s what this is all about? Gosh, you guys…!”

Mile blushed and giggled. Utterly ignoring her, Reina announced, “Now then, let’s begin!”

And so the flames of battle were kindled.

“Round One: A Battle of Culinary Skill!”

“Huh? Wha? Huhhhh?”

Mile was baffled.

“Our side will be represented by Aureana.”

“And we’ll have Pauline. Let’s do this!”

Mile still had no idea what they were doing, and so glancing at their befuddled friend out of the corners of their eyes, Aureana and Pauline headed straight for the kitchen. At some point, the owners of the inn, apparently having been notified ahead of time, had taken seats at a table in the back of the room. One got the impression that they would be participating in the tasting. That way they could steal some recip—ahem, further their interests in the culinary arts.

It was at this point that Mile finally grasped what was going on.

Ah, okay. They’re each going to try and make a special dish for me to enjoy, and then I’ll have to select a winner. I remember there being a TV show like this a long time ago, back when cooking shows were popular…

 

Thirty minutes later, two dishes appeared before Mile.

In the interest of fairness, both dishes were prepared using only ingredients that were already available in the inn, with any specialized or expensive additions prohibited. Furthermore, they could each prepare only one dish. Just what dishes might they be able to make out of such limited ingredients…?

Mile grabbed one of the plates and pulled it toward her.

Chomp.

“Oh…”

Chompchompchompchompchomp!

“It’s so good…” she uttered, almost without thinking.

Pauline grinned.

She had prepared karaage using the magic-infused cooking style that Mile had perfected.

Using only standard ingredients, she concocted a perfect karaage seasoning, and with a pan, oil, and a little skill, along with her own culinary knowledge, she succeeded in perfectly recreating the cooking Mile normally did with magic. The fact that she had accomplished what was normally wrought by complex magics with only manual techniques meant that she had, in truth, surpassed Mile. The dish was nothing short of a miracle.

Of course, she had used chicken instead of rock lizard meat, but this meant that she had actually recreated the original dish Mile knew from her previous life without even knowing it.

As for Mile, she had never thought the day would come when she would be able to eat karaage cooked by someone other than herself. There is no joy more universal in this world than having your own dish recreated by someone else’s hand. The fact that it was so perfectly seasoned only elevated her joy to another level.

Seeing how thoroughly satisfied Mile appeared, Pauline knew that her victory was all but assured.

Then, Mile started on the second dish.

“Hm?”

Chompchompchompchompchompchompchompchomp!

“Th-this dish…”

Mile was stunned.

Aureana explained: “It’s an old family recipe of mine, passed down from my grandmother, to my mother, to me—our special technique for making a stew out of whatever ingredients are available. I thought that it might be something you would enjoy…”

Hearing this, Pauline smirked inwardly.

Mile, who was by birth a viscount’s daughter, most surely had a discerning palate. By nature, she was the sort who would happily gobble down anything put in front of her without complaint, but if she had to compare the two dishes in terms of flavor, the one she would give the highest marks to would surely be…

“This is delicious! I’ve never eaten this before, but somehow it fills me with nostalgia… Both of these dishes were absolutely amazing, and I would love to eat both of them again, but if I had to choose then I would pick this one!”

“Wha…?”

Pauline crumpled to the floor in shock.

Indeed, Mile was incredibly fond of the taste of home cooking, and she liked the style of improvised cooking that was passed down from grandparent to grandchild. This was the sort of cooking that she always yearned for. In her previous life, she was on bad terms with her grandparents, and her mother was not especially good in the kitchen. In this world, she had only ever eaten the food prepared by chefs in her noble home, as well as the prepared meals at dorms and inns and such. Indeed, she had yet to ever encounter such a meal.

“Sorry, Pauline. Your fried chicken was delicious, but I assume the point of this contest wasn’t just which dish tastes better but which one I like better—right? So, I choose this one.”

Yes, while Mile might normally mince her words and soften blows with bejeweled turns of phrase, when it came to matters of food and war, she was a viper.

“Well then, that would be the match! Let’s move on to the next one, shall we?”

The Wonder Trio left the inn in high spirits, with the Crimson Vow—sans Mile—dragging their feet behind. Only the innkeeper and his family remained in the room, quietly tasting all the food that was left behind.

 

***

 

“Round Two: The Shopping Challenge!” Reina announced after the group had relocated to the capital’s shopping district. “The goal of this round is to find the item that Mile would most enjoy, for the cheapest price. You will each receive three silver pieces, with which each representative will purchase a present for Mile. Our side chooses Pauline!”

Pauline was up to bat again. Owing to her previous defeat, she was smoldering with a fighting spirit and raring to go. If there was nothing else that she knew, it was the art of commerce, and she was so confident she could burst.

“And we will choose Miss Monika!”

If it was a matter of commerce, this competition would be too difficult a challenge for Aureana, the commoner, or Marcela, the noble. Monika was the natural—the only—choice.

“You have thirty minutes, starting now. Begin!”

At the signal, Pauline and Monika rushed off into the shopping district, each with their three silver pieces clutched tightly in hand.

 

Thirty minutes went by.

“…A pendant?”

Indeed, Pauline had purchased an adorable pendant.

“You don’t really have any decorative accessories to wear besides the ribbons you use to tie back your hair—right, Mile? Of course, wearing a ring would make gripping a sword more difficult, and gemstones are reflective, so there’s a higher probability of being spotted by a monster or human enemy. Materials that might make a sound if they strike something are dangerous, but I thought it would be nice for you to at least have something to wear while you’re in town. You’re still a girl, after all!”

“Th-thank you, Pauline!”

Mile gladly accepted the gift.

“Eheheh…”

Seeing how she smiled, the Wonder Trio unthinkingly grinned as well.

“…What’s this?” Mile asked, receiving the next gift.

“I’d suggest you peek inside to find out—carefully, so that no one else can see.”

“O-okay…”

Mile thought this instruction a bit suspicious, but she did as Monika said.

“Huh…?”

It was underwear.

Inside the package was a pair of underwear.

“Underpants?”

The moment Pauline heard Mile’s muttered question, she was certain of one thing:

She had won.

“We caught a glimpse of you yesterday, Mile, Just how long are you going to keep wearing that same old underwear?”

“What? But I wash them regularly, and I have plenty of spares…”

“You dummy,” said Monika. “No matter how many pairs you have to cycle through, eventually they’re going to stain or start to wear out. Sooner or later, they’ll just fall apart. Why haven’t you replaced them? It’s not as if money is an issue for you anymore.”

Mile hung her head.

“That’s… it’s because…”

Suddenly her voice began to warble, tears welling in her eyes.

“Th-that’s because they’re the ones Miss Marcela gave me… Th-the first gift I ever got from a friend…”

“You wha—?!” Marcela shouted, turning red. “That’s the nonsense reason that you’re still wearing them?!”

“It’s not…”

“Hm?”

“…a nonsense reason. It’s not a nonsense reason! It’s really the first—the very first…one I ever got…”

As Mile wept, Monika patted her on the back, consoling her.

“So then, won’t you wear these, too? They’re a present from all three of us.”

Mile gave an emphatic nod through her sniffles.

And once more, Pauline crumbled, her hands and knees planted on the ground.

Anyone watching could see that the Wonder Trio had prevailed again.

 

***

 

“Round Three: Comedy Battle!” Reina announced, displeasure clear on her face.

They were now in the Crimson Vow’s room at the inn.

“Whoever makes Mile laugh the quickest wins! First up, the Wonder Trio!”

Aureana was the first to step forward.

“Adele, you remember Cricket Eater, right? Well, he found himself a wife and had some kids. And then his missus ran out on him, leaving him to bust his butt raising the kids she left behind!”

Pfft!

As this battle was a time trial, Aureana forewent any joke with a punchline that would take a lot of time to build up to, opting instead for a one-liner. Without skipping a beat, Mile fell for it, snorting with laughter.

Pauline was already holding her face in her hands.

“Next up, Pauline!”

The Wonder Trio looked puzzled at the announcement.

“Why do you choose Pauline every time?! Are you truly that lacking in variety? Maybe that’s why you’re so fixated on Miss Adele…” Marcela said, sounding exasperated.

Reina shouted back, embarrassed, “Th-the best battle strategy is to offer up the combatant who’s most suited for the fight, isn’t it?!”

“Well, it’s not like I really care, anyway. And I suppose your tactic is not in violation of the rules.”

Marcela looked at her smugly, as if her response were perfectly crafted for the sake of ridiculing the others. Reina gritted her teeth. However, now was not the time to make a fuss. The fact that neither she nor Mavis would be of any use in this scenario was simply obvious, even if Reina herself was loath to admit it.

And now, Pauline, already shaken by the record set by the Wonder Trio, stepped up to the plate.

“Gya-aha-gahaha! St-stop it, Pauline, stooop!”

Yes, Pauline had leaped straight over to Mile and begun tickling her sides.

“The winner is Pauline! One point for the Crimson Vow!”

“Objection!!!” the Wonder Trio roared, in what was, for them, rare form.

Reina sneered and said, “Oh? I don’t recall a rule that said that the method couldn’t be a physical one. The only stipulation was, ‘whoever makes her laugh the fastest wins,’ wasn’t it? Isn’t the one who can think of the best approach—or in other words, the smartest method—the one most suitable to be Mile’s companion? Does this not count as a mark of superior ability? Or do you intend to contest the victory after the fact, based on a rule that never existed, just because you lost?”

“Gah… V-very well, then! Now, it’s time for the next match!”

Overhearing this exchange, Mile tilted her head quizzically.

 

***

 

“Round Four: A Battle of Joy! This is the final contest! Whoever can make Mile the happiest shall be the victor! First up, the Wonder Trio!”

The Crimson Vow had gone first in both of the first rounds, so the Wonder Trio stood to begin the remaining two.

This time, Marcela took the stage.

“Miss Adele, we three shall be by your side, now and always. Even when you retire from being a hunter, even if you get married, even if you have children—we shall always remain friends. Our families will grow together, and we shall always, always, live a happy life together…”

“M-Miss Marcelaaaaa!”

Mile threw her arms around Marcela, overwhelmed with emotion.

“O-objection!” shouted Reina.

“…What is it now?” Marcela asked coolly.

“Obviously, I’m objecting to you leveraging the outcome of the battle for the possession of Mile in order to win a victory before that victory’s even decided! I don’t care if you tell her you’ll be by her side, but what’s this ‘we three’ nonsense?! Are you planning to chase us away and keep Mile all for yourself?”

“Oh really? Are you saying that there is a precedent for that objection? As long as we do not break the established rules, then we are free to do whatever we want, aren’t we? Who was it now who was speaking of obtaining victory via the ‘smartest method’?”

“Uh… Guhh… Y-you little—”

“What was that?”

“You vile little—”

“What are you all talking about?”

“Huh?”

As Reina and Marcela glared at one another, Mile’s voice came from behind them.

“I keep hearing you talk about ‘possession’ and who’s ‘suitable’ to be my companion… Just what is all this about?”

She was angry. Mile, who appeared to have grasped the true meaning of these events, was well and truly mad.

When Mile was fuming and pouting, her cheeks all puffed out, she was nothing to worry about. That just meant that she was a little peeved. However, when she had no expression at all… That was when you knew that a calamity was about to strike. You could tell from her face, but more so, from her harsh and cold demeanor. When she got to that point, you had better apologize quickly—or else there would be hell to pay.

And then, there were the times when Mile moved beyond her expressionless state and showed her anger again.

That was dangerous. That was incredibly dangerous.

To date, the only time anyone had ever witnessed this was during the battle with the elder dragons when she thought her friends were going to die.

This is bad!!!! everyone thought as one.

“I did think that it was awfully strange… This morning, I was having a lot of fun. I thought that all of you were staging this competition in order to entertain me, and I was enjoying it. But then, the atmosphere got tenser and tenser, and you all started saying weird things. In which case… I see now. I understand what’s going on here.”

“A-aaaah, um, well…”

Reina and Marcela both stammered nervously. The other four took a few steps back.

“I am no one’s prize!!!”

“W-we’re sorryyyyy!!!” the whole group shouted.

Mile was terrifying when truly angry. She was always so good-natured. And yet…

“Just what were you intending to have me do? To make me choose between my friends?! Miss Marcela!”

“Y-yes?!”

“Miss Marcela, if you had to choose between Miss Monika and Miss Aureana who to remain friends with, and were forced to cast the other by the wayside, which of them would you choose?”

“Wh-wha?! How could you possibly expect me to choose?! How could I toss one of them away, just like that?!”

Then Mile turned to Reina and said, “Reina, who would you choose? Between Mavis and Pauline?”

“Wha…? You can’t expect me to make that choice!”

So said Reina. However, Pauline thought back to the night where she was nearly abandoned alone at the inn and muttered to herself, “I would definitely be the one left behind.”

“My point exactly.” Mile continued. “And that is the sort of choice you all were trying to force me to make. You decided this all on your own without even asking my opinion.”

“Ah…” The six fell completely silent.

“But seven people is way too many for a C-rank party… A split of the earnings would be too low,” said Pauline.

“Yes, and with 1.5 on the front line and 5.5 on the backline, the balance would be atrocious,” added Marcela.

Naturally, Mile was the one split into 0.5. She counted half for each side.

What the two girls were saying was true enough, but then Monika lobbed in her own bomb.

“Surely having too many mages is a problem, but aren’t our roles important as well? As far as origins go, we have two daughters of merchants and one daughter of a traveling peddler, along with three nobles. We’d have two chiefs of staff, and a third, Adele, in special circumstances. We’d have two people who like to handle finances and negotiation and two who like to take charge. Along with one who surprisingly takes the reigns in emergencies…”

“Who’s this unexpected emergency leader you’re talking about?”

Mile’s question went ignored.

“This is hopeless. It absolutely wouldn’t work.”

“It is hopeless.”

“I think it is…”

Everyone was suddenly pessimistic.

However, Mile, as per usual, was unable to read the room.

“Don’t worry, guys! In my country there’s a saying: ‘With enough captains, a ship can climb a mountain!’ With enough people putting their heads together, the impossible becomes possible!”

“Mile, are you sure you know what that means? Do you really think that’s the correct interpretation?” asked Mavis, eyebrow raised.

For Mavis, who came from a family of knights—in other words, a military family— it was far too easy to imagine the fate of a small platoon that had too many captains.

“In any case, Miss Adele,” said Marcela, “I believe that traveling with us, the Wonder Trio, is the best choice for you.”

“Don’t just hop right back into it and start saying whatever you want! Plus your party’s name is the Wonder Trio, isn’t it?! It’s not a ‘quartet’—it’s a ‘trio!’ You can’t have your numbers going up! Mile is ours!!!” Reina vehemently objected.

“I don’t know what we’d do without Mile! She’s our precious piggy ba—dearest friend, after all!”

“Just a minute! What were you about to say, Pauline? Piggy ba…? Just what were you trying to saaay?!?! Also, did any of you hear a word of what I just said?! We’ve looped back around to the beginning…”

“Maintaining the status quo would mean that Mile has to remain where she is.”

“Are you saying that you would try to drag Mile away by force? Did you not hear anything that she just said?”

“Don’t suddenly remember what she said when it’s convenient for you!”

“No, but we should be the ones to look after Miley…”

“What do you mean, ‘look after’?! I’m not a child!”

“But aren’t you?” the group asked in chorus.

“Graaaaaaaaaaaaah!!!”

 

And so, things dragged on as they always did.

In the end, another pointless day drew to a close with absolutely no progress whatsoever…