Hibiki’s Big Date Plan

One Saturday.

I was meeting Hibiki at the fountain in front of the station near where she lived. I’d just gotten off the train myself about ten minutes ago, and I was killing time shooing away R as she tried to poke my cheek. Eventually, I saw Hibiki jogging over to me.

“Sorry I’m late, Rekka.”

“No, you’re right on time,” I said as I found myself unconsciously staring down at her body.

“I-Is something wrong?”

“No, just... why are you wearing a sailor uniform?”

Was that her school uniform? Our school used blazers, so it struck me as a little different, but wait... It was Saturday. Why was she wearing her uniform when it wasn’t a school day?

“D-Don’t worry about it! I’m doing it for personal reasons.”

Huh? What kind of personal reason would require you to wear a sailor suit?

“...”

“...”

We both fell into awkward silence. I-I really didn’t know what to say...

“...Let’s get going, Hibiki.”

“Y-Yeah...”

It was still awkward, but we agreed to start walking into town. This marked the start of the first real date I’d ever been on in my life. To explain how things led up to this, I’ll have to go back to three days ago.

▽

It all started with a call I got from Hibiki late one night.

“The Couples Afro Incident?”

“That’s right.”

“That sounds like the name of a bad comedy duo.”

“Just hear me out.”

The incident Hibiki described to me was... well, there wasn’t a good word to describe it.

“So, a couple is walking along the street when all of a sudden the man grows an afro.”

“...”

“...Are you still there? Why’d you get so quiet?”

“Um, listen...”

I held my phone a little farther away from my face so I could rub my temples.

“Hibiki, have you been under a lot of stress lately?”

“I’m just fine!”

No, but...

“Are you absolutely sure this is actually happening? It’s not a rumor, or maybe just a joke?”

“Yeah. I guarantee it.”

If she was that sure, then maybe there really was something to this. I mean, despite how crazy it sounded.

“Well, I’m not sure I buy it, but what are you planning on doing about this ‘Couples Afro Incident’?”

“Solve it, of course.”

“...Why?”

It was hard to imagine that growing an afro counted as a bad end, so this didn’t sound like something the Banjo bloodline had gotten her involved in. When I asked her about it, Hibiki sounded a little flustered.

“I-It’s happening in my hometown. It wouldn’t feel right to just ignore it, and it’s possible it’s just a part of a larger conspiracy!”

Yeah, an afro conspiracy. Right. I had no idea why Hibiki was so insistent on this, but...

“Well, whatever. You’ve helped me out a lot before, so I guess I can return the favor. What exactly do you want me to do?”

“A-About that...” Hibiki started to mumble.

“What? You’re a little hard to hear...”

“...e with... me.”

“Sorry, can you say that again?”

“...te.”

“I’m sorry, I really can’t hear you.”

When I asked for a third take, I could hear her take a deep breath on the other end of the line.

“Go on a date with me!” she yelled.

It was loud, too. M-My ears were ringing...

Wait, more importantly, what did she just say? Did she say “date”?

“Hang on. Why do we have to go on a date to solve the case?”

“Tell me what the name of the case is.”

“The... Couples Afro Incident?”

“That’s right. The Couples Afro Incident.”

So, this was an undercover operation.

“Um... I see. I guess. Sure.”

“Really?!”

She sounded happy for some reason. Did she want my help that badly? I was a little embarrassed to have someone counting on me like that.

“Didn’t you say something about whoever’s behind the Couples Afro Incident targeting couples who act like they’re really in love?” I asked, feeling like I was starting to get into it.

“Well, that’s just from the perspective of the victims, but that’s how it sounds.”

“Hmm... Oh?” I realized something. “Hey, Hibiki.”

“What?”

“Have you ever been on a date with a boy?”

“Bwuh?!”

Suddenly it sounded like Hibiki was choking. It took a minute or so of coughing for her to get herself back together.

“A-Are you okay?”

“What kind of question is that?! Of course not! I don’t even have any male friends!”

Come to think of it, I’d asked that question once before...

“Wh-What about you, Rekka? Have you ever... been on a date with someone?”

“Sorry. Me, neither.”

“You haven’t? I see... Wait, why are you apologizing?”

“Well, I figure that without any experience, it might be harder to lure out the perpetrator.”

If he knew we were faking our date, the perpetrator would probably just ignore us.

“Hmm...”

Hibiki really seemed to be counting on me for this. I wanted to help her, but without a real plan, there wasn’t much I could do.

“...Okay,” I said.

“Okay what?”

“I’ll come up with a date plan.”

“Really? Y-You don’t have to come up with anything special. I just want to go out with you...”

That was nice of her to say, but it only made me want to do this more. Unfortunately, I didn’t have the skills to put a plan like that together. At times like these, however, I knew the best thing to do was ask an expert.

▽

“You want me to help you plan a date?”

“Yes.”

Tokiwa seemed confused by my request. Today she was grabbing me from behind, so the back of the chair kept her breasts from touching me. It at least kept me from getting worked up while I was talking to her.

“You’re going on a date?”

“Actually...”

I told her about the Couples Afro Incident going on in Hibiki’s hometown, and how I was going to help solve it.

“Hmm, that sounds fun.”

“So, will you help me?”

“Sure, that’s fine. But I have one condition.”

“Yeah? What is it?”

“Can I go with you? It should be great inspiration for my novels.”

“Okay.”

▽

And so I had Tokiwa come up with my date plan for today’s date with Hibiki. Since it would be weird for three people to be on a date, I had Tokiwa follow us at a distance.

After about a five minute walk from the station, we came to a big shopping area.

“Wow, it’s really busy on Saturday.”

“This place is always like this on weekends.”

Hibiki’s town was bigger than mine, and certainly a lot more populated. It was especially obvious on the weekend. This place was also a favorite date spot for local students, supposedly. I saw two or three other couples just looking around offhandedly.

“Most of the victims of the Couples Afro Incident are students, right?”

“Yeah, so most of the attacks take place around here.”

If this was a hotspot, it was probably the best place to try and lure out the perpetrator, huh?

“So, how does this guy turn somebody’s hair into an instant afro, anyway?”

“I-I don’t know...”

Hibiki turned away from me and started looking around frantically. Was she searching for the perpetrator already? That was Hibiki for you.

“Okay, let’s go.”

“Y-Yeah...”

And so we headed out into the shopping area to solve the Couples Afro Incident.

“Where to first?” Hibiki asked.

I gave the memo in my pocket a furtive glance.

“The first thing you usually do on a date is go to a movie, right?”

According to plan, we walked down to the movie theater.

“What do you want to see, Hibiki?”

I hadn’t really picked a movie, so I thought I’d ask her.

“This one... No, this one!”

Hibiki had started to point to a Hollywood action movie, but then she pointed to a romance flick instead.

“Hm? I don’t mind seeing the action movie.”

I’d envisioned Hibiki as more of an action movie kind of girl, anyway.

“No, that’s not it...” Hibiki mumbled a little.

“...It feels more like a date this way, right?” she said, blushing a little.

It did seem more romantic to go see a romance movie...

“Okay, we’ll go for that one, then.”

And so I bought two tickets and handed one to Hibiki.

“Hm...?”

When I glanced at the ticket, I noticed it had an “R-15” age rating on it. I-It was kind of embarrassing to be seeing a movie like this with a girl my age...

“What’s wrong?” she asked.

Maybe Hibiki wasn’t embarrassed at all about it. If anything, she looked confused as to why I was. I figured if she was okay with it, then I had nothing to worry about.

“It’s nothing. Let’s go.”

I handed my ticket to the attendant, my heart still beating a little fast.

▽

And not long after the movie started...

“Oh... oh... Aaah!”

There was a woman in a beautiful outfit moaning erotically on-screen. Was this really R-15? I mean, the important parts were all hidden, and they didn’t explicitly show what they were doing, but there was more than enough material for my teenage imagination to work with.

“Oh, she has such pretty breasts, doesn’t she?”

R, true to form, was staring at the actress’s breasts as she floated next to me. She seemed to be enjoying herself.

I’d agreed to this movie because I thought it would be fine, but now I was blushing so hard it felt like my face was on fire. Hibiki had said that this was more of a date movie, but is this really what couples went to watch all the time? If it was, then I admired their endurance.

“Oh, aaaaah!”

Ack! Watching the movie was getting so difficult that I needed something—anything—to distract myself. It might have been a little rude, but I decided to break the silence and try talking to Hibiki. I didn’t want to bother anybody else, so I leaned over and whispered to her.

“Are you okay with movies like this, Hibiki?”

“...”

“Hibiki?”

“...”

“Hello?”

“Huh?!”

She must’ve really been concentrating on the movie because, even whispering right into her ear, I had to try pretty hard to get her attention.

“Wh-What’s wrong, Rekka?”

“Hibiki, you’re being a little loud.”

Maybe I shouldn’t have tried talking to her in a theater, but I warned her to keep her voice down.

“S-Sorry... What were you saying?”

“Not much. I was just asking if you were okay with movies like this.”

“I-I-If I’m o-o-okay?”

She was tripping over her own tongue. Even in the darkness, I could tell her face was as red as a tomato. Her bangs were stuck to her forehead with sweat, and her eyes seemed to be looking in all directions at once. I’d thought she’d chosen this movie because she was okay with stuff like this, but I suddenly realized there was another possibility.

“Did you not notice it was R-15?” I asked a little reluctantly.

“Wh-What?! O-Of course I did.”

I could tell she was lying because the next time the actress on screen let out a loud moan, she yelped a little.

“I-I’ll go buy us something to drink. What do you want, Rekka?”

“Anything’s fine, I guess.”

“Got it. Okay, I’ll be back.”

She quickly stood up and left the theater.

The age rating stamped on the ticket was awfully tiny. Hibiki must not have noticed when she’d chosen it. I should’ve said something.

“Rekka.”

“Owaah?!”

I screamed as two arms suddenly wrapped themselves around my neck from behind. I was angrily shushed by everyone around me. I was a little embarrassed to turn around, but when I did, I saw that it was Tokiwa grabbing me.

“Tokiwa, I didn’t realize you were so close.”

“Probably because it was so dark, right?”

Well, that was true.

“So, what’s up?”

“Well, the memo I gave you only had a list of locations on it, so I figured I’d give you some more advice.”

I still had that memo in my pocket. It was the date plan Tokiwa had drawn up for me, but it was basically just an itinerary for the day. I’d gladly taken it since it was more than enough for my purposes, but Tokiwa made it sound like there was more to it and seemed happy to help me out.

“Rekka, what do you think a couple is supposed to do at a movie theater?”

“I don’t know.”

“Kiss—”

“K-K-Kiss?!”

“—ing is a bit too difficult for a beginner, so I can’t recommend it.”

Sh-She was teasing me?! This wasn’t good for my heart...

“Instead, a beginner like you should go for holding hands. Try doing it when the movie gets to the exciting parts.”

“Hold her hand?”

Come to think of it, I had seen a lot of scenes in manga and stuff where the hero held the heroine’s hand at a movie theater.

“Just put your hand softly on top of hers... Oh, look, she’s back,” Tokiwa said as she unwrapped her arms from around my neck.

Hold Hibiki’s hand, huh? That was going to be embarrassing in a different way from the movie in front of us.

“Can a chicken like you really do that, Rekka?”

“Ugh...”

What R said ticked me off, so I decided to show her what I could do.

I’d already suffered enough embarrassment coming here and pretending to be part of a lovey-dovey couple. At this point, I was willing to do whatever it took to catch the perpetrator. I wiped the sweat off my hand and continued watching the movie. At last, the movie finally reached its climax.

“Catherine!”

Was this it? Was now the time?

“Eduardo!”

Man, when was I actually supposed to do it?

“I LOVEEEE YOUUUU!”

Damn it! It’s now or never!

I reached out towards the arm rest where Hibiki’s hand was resting. I put my hand on top of hers and squeezed. I felt her tense up for a moment before she curled it into a fist.

“Kyaaah!”

“Gwah!”

An uppercut from below knocked me up out of my seat.

▽

“I’m sorry. I just didn’t expect you to grab my hand.”

“No, it’s my fault.”

As we left the movie theater, there was a thick cloud of awkwardness floating just over our heads. Grr... Now the perpetrator behind the Couples Afro Incident was probably just laughing at us. I needed to make up for this somehow. I took the memo out from my pocket and looked at my schedule for after the movie.

“Okay! Hibiki, let’s go into that café!”

“Got it.”

We went into a café that had a sign outside advertising 500-yen lunches—something that I was extremely grateful for as a poor student. We sat down and ordered, but I was a little stumped from there. Um... Was I supposed to talk about the movie we’d just seen now?

“How’d you like the movie, Hibiki?”

“Um... I-I don’t really remember it. What about you?”

“Sorry. I wasn’t really watching it, either.”

I actually did remember most of it, but all the scenes were too embarrassing to talk about with Hibiki. Maybe she felt the same way.

For lack of anything better, we started to talk about things that were happening at school. Since we went to different schools in different towns, there was actually plenty to talk about there.

“My school’s student council is talking about the Couples Afro Incident, actually,” she said.

“Huh. I didn’t know that the student council cared about stuff like that.”

“Part of it is just the student council president’s personality, but it’s also a discipline thing. Our school’s really strict on students dating.”

“I see.”

It wasn’t necessarily the fact that couples were being attacked. The real problem was that most of the couples were students.

“Actually, I heard that my student council president and yours are actually good friends... Oh, sorry, give me a second.” Hibiki excused herself.

“Whew...”

I’d failed at the movie theater, but my café mission seemed to be going better. Did we look like a lovey-dovey couple to the people around us? I finished the rest of my food, hoping that we did.

“Hmm?”

A single cherry tomato rolled across my plate. I was pretty sure I’d eaten all the tomatoes first, but then there was a second, a third, a fourth... Flabbergasted, I watched more tomatoes roll across my plate.

“Hmm?” I turned around. “Tokiwa, stop that, please.”

Tokiwa looked up from the fork she was using to drop tomatoes on my plate, then tried to grab on to me. I was determined not to let her do it in public, so I tried to dodge her, but the tines of her fork snagged my shirt, effectively keeping me from going anywhere.

“Uwah!”

“Why are you running?”

The instant I stopped moving, Tokiwa grabbed on to me. Wasn’t she supposed to be frail and sick? How was she so fast?! For a moment, I wondered just how sickly she really was, but then I was confronted by a bigger problem.

“T-Tokiwa, please get off me!”

“This is the only way you’ll be able to hear me.”

“I’ve been meaning to say this for a while, but please think about the people around you! Look! That waitress is staring at me like I’m garbage!”

More precisely, her eyes seemed to be saying, “The instant one girl gets up to leave, you start hanging all over another one? I hope you die, you cheating pig!” Seriously, if looks could kill...!

“Forget her. Say ‘aah!’”

“Mguh?!”

She jammed a tomato in my mouth with her fork, and since I didn’t see any way of getting out of this, I swallowed it... Wait, wasn’t that the same fork she was using?

“Since you ate my tomato for me, I’ll give you some more advice,” Tokiwa said. “This place has a special couples-only menu item. Tell the waitress you want the special.”

“Okay, the special! Got it! Now please get off me! I’ll do anything! I’ll get down on my knees and beg!”

“Oh, you don’t need to beg me,” Tokiwa said calmly, then went back to her seat.

“Um... excuse me. I’d like to order the special, please.”

“One special coming right up.”

The waitress’s voice was ice cold. It felt like I heard her swear at me under her breath just before she turned around. Thankfully, Hibiki came back shortly thereafter.

“I’m back... What’s wrong, Rekka? You look really tired.”

“Don’t worry about it...”

I was just mentally exhausted. I sat groggily in my chair until the “special” came.

“Here you are. This is our couples-only romantic drink for two.”

Hibiki and I were both speechless. It was one of those drinks with a straw shaped like a heart that had two openings, one for each person.

“Rekka... why did you order this?”

“I guess you could say I was trying to get out of the frying pan and jumped into the fire...”

Was I really supposed to drink this with all these people around? Did the person who came up with this actually try it himself...? Even worse, this was right after everybody else had seen Tokiwa grabbing me (and she was still sitting behind me, too). This was pretty close to torture. But still, I couldn’t leave without drinking what I’d ordered.

“Let’s drink it, I guess.”

“Yeah. I’ll take this side, I guess.”

“Then I’ll take this one...”

The soda came up the straw with a loud slurping sound. It was sweet and cold, but my whole body was sweating like I was drinking something hot and spicy.

▽

Hibiki and I were walking next to each other, both of us completely drained.

“Hibiki... do you think we look like a couple in love right now?”

“I think we look more like a couple of kids whose houses just burned down.”

Well, that certainly wasn’t what we were going for. But clearly since I didn’t have an afro yet, that meant that we hadn’t managed to get the attention of the perpetrator behind the Couples Afro Incident. After everything I’d suffered (there was no way I could ever go back to that café), I didn’t want to go home empty-handed. I wanted to do something, but nothing was coming to mind.

“Oh? Is that you, Hibiki?”

Suddenly I heard someone say Hibiki’s name from behind us. When I turned to look, there was a girl there in a white dress carrying a sun parasol. She waved at Hibiki and walked up to us.

“Kanae,” Hibiki said. “Weren’t you supposed to be at physical therapy today?”

“I just finished. I thought I should take a walk before I headed home.”

Therapy... Oh, right. This was the girl Hibiki had gone to the hospital to see. I’d only caught a glimpse of her from the door to the hospital room, but I remembered the braid she had slung in front of her right ear.

“So, Hibiki, who’s this?” Kanae asked as she turned towards me.

“This is Rekka Namidare. I think I’ve told you about him...”

“Oh, my! So, you’re the Rekka I’ve heard so much about?”

Hibiki hadn’t even finished her sentence, but Kanae raised her voice in surprise and looked at me with stars in her eyes.

“U-Um... I think I’m that Rekka, yes.”

“Are you two dating?”

“Bwah?!”

“Bwah?!”

Both Hibiki and I were caught off guard by her sudden question.

“I-I told you that things aren’t like that with Rekka, remember?”

“Oh? But that’s just your side of the story. How about it, Rekka?”

“W-We’re not really anything like that...”

“Really? Then what are you doing here?” she said as she pointed to all the couples walking around enjoying themselves.

“That’s because, um...”

Kanae knew about the bloodline of the Banjo, right? Surely if I told her the truth, she wouldn’t think it was all that weird.

“We’re actually looking for the person behind the Couples Afro Incident...”

“The Couples Afro Incident? Isn’t that what happened to Hibiki?”

“Huh?”

“Wait! Kanae, don’t say that!”

“Oh, I’m sorry.” Kanae stuck her tongue out at her.

“W-Wait a second. I thought the perpetrator only went after couples...”

But Hibiki said she’d never been on a date with a boy, right?

“N-No, Rekka! It’s not like that!”

What I was thinking must’ve shown on my face, because Hibiki frantically tried to explain herself.

“No, I’m not really mad over a little lie like that.”

“No! I’ve never been out with a boy other than you! This is my first date!”

“Then what did she mean?” I asked.

Instead of answering, Hibiki grabbed at her hair with both hands. She was acting like she knew, she just didn’t want to tell me. Kanae watched her for a moment before she broke out into a grin.

“I was walking down the street with Hibiki a while ago when she was mistaken for a boy and attacked.”

“...What?”

Someone thought Hibiki was a boy?

“KANAE! Don’t tell him that!”

“Oh? But you don’t want him to get the wrong idea, right?”

“Aaaaah!”

Hibiki began to stamp her feet, as well. She looked, well, more like a little child than usual. I’d heard that Kanae was Hibiki’s best friend. I guess this is how she normally acted when they were together. Anyway...

“I’m, uh... sorry to hear that, Hibiki.”

“Shut up! Don’t try and make me feel better!” she yelled back at me, almost in tears.

So... had she worn that sailor uniform so that she would look more like a girl? Sure, she talked like a boy, and she usually dressed kinda like one, but still...

“The perpetrator must be blind.”

“Huh?”

“I mean, you’re pretty girly, Hibiki.”

She was definitely cool and strong, but she didn’t like bugs or slimy things, and she had lots of really girly weaknesses. She even looked great in a swimsuit. And... I was too embarrassed to say it to her face, but she was really cute.

“Huh? Wha...” Hibiki stared at me.

Hmm... I’d tried my best to choose my words carefully, but I was getting a little embarrassed seeing her react like that. Kanae just giggled.

“Well, I can understand how the perpetrator made the mistake. Hibiki always likes to show off, and she tends to act rather like a boy around me. She even wraps a cloth around her chest to hide her breasts.”

“I couldn’t help that. The clothes you bought me were so tiny that if I just wore them without doing that, you would’ve been able to see my stomach.”

“Then you could’ve just worn something else. I understand that you wanted me to see you wearing them, though.”

“Hmph...”

Hibiki pouted and went silent. Kanae giggled again.

Kanae totally had the upper hand here. Whether it was just their personalities or how long they’d known each other, I couldn’t tell, but Hibiki seemed much less strong-willed around her best friend. Kanae, for her part, must have really liked Hibiki. Even after being caught in the middle of one of Hibiki’s “stories,” she was still good friends with her.

“Well, that explains why you’re so anxious to solve this weird case. You must be mad after what happened, right?”

I made my guess based on what I’d just heard, but for some reason Hibiki said nothing. I thought that maybe she’d gotten upset because I was right, but...

“Oh, that’s not right at all,” Kanae said.

“Huh?”

“It’s true that she was upset, but it was my idea that she go talk to you.”

“Why?”

Kanae put her hand up to her cheek and said, “Because it gave her the perfect opportunity to ask you out on a date, didn’t it? She talked about you every time she came to the hospital, so I couldn’t help but think—Mmrphhh!”

“Kanae! Stop it!” Hibiki shouted as she covered Kanae’s mouth.

Hibiki cut her off, but I wasn’t following what Kanae said. Sure, it would be easy to ask me out on a date (a sting, more like it), but why did that matter? And what was Hibiki so upset about it?

“Anyway, I suppose it’s time for me to be going.”

“Get lost!” Hibiki yelled, but Kanae left with a smile on her face.

“Well, let’s get going, I guess...” Hibiki said as she turned back to me.

“Yeah.”

Hibiki was a bit unhappy, but it felt like our encounter with Kanae helped relieve some of the awkwardness. It was now time to resume our mission. And then suddenly... I felt two small, soft mountains pressing up against my back.

“Rekka...”

“T-Tokiwa! What’s going on?!”

“I got lost in the crowds, and now I feel sick...”

“A-Are you okay?”

“I don’t feel good...”

“Waaah!”

Tokiwa could barely stand, so she was leaning into me with her full weight. Her body (specifically her breasts) were pressed much more snugly against me than usual.

“Rekka... who’s that?”

“H-Hibiki?”

Hibiki’s voice was cold and angry. A shiver ran down my spine. And then to make things worse...

“Oh, if it isn’t Midori and the school’s biggest problem child!”

“P-President Momone?”

Approaching us was Momone Kibi, our eyepatch-wearing student council president. She was wearing her eyepatch now, and she too was dressed in her school uniform even though it was Saturday. And for some reason, she was also carrying a bamboo sword slung over her shoulder.

“What are you doing here?”

“There’s some kind of strange phenomenon going on here people are calling the Couples Afro Incident. A lot of our students come here, so I’m working with the local school’s student council to patrol the area.”

So President Momone and the student council were trying to solve the case, too?

“I’ve been trying to prevent any more incidents by sending home any couples I come across from our school... Are you three on a date?” She looked first at me, then at Tokiwa, then at Hibiki. “Looks like you’re enjoying yourself, problem child.”

“N-No, it’s not like that...”

I tried to think of a way to explain the situation, but I was too slow. President Momone grabbed me by the hand and yanked.

“Normally I’d say it’s none of my business, but I’m on patrol right now. And I can’t have you cheating on someone I know well. Come with me.”

“Wait!”

President Momone tried to drag me off, but Hibiki grabbed my other hand to stop her.

“Why do we keep getting interrupted...? Today was my chance to finally be with Rekka...”

Hibiki trailed off, but she refused to let go of my hand. It didn’t seem like there was any way she was going to let President Momone cart me off.

“I’m afraid this is my job today. I’m taking him whether you like it or not.”

“I won’t let you!”

“Interesting. If you want to try and resist, then I accept your challenge.”

President Momone glared at Hibiki with an intimidating smile. She put her hand on the hilt of the bamboo sword she was carrying as Hibiki reached for the police baton she had hidden behind her back.

“I’m gonna fall over...”

Amid the tension, Tokiwa—who was in an entirely different dimension by herself—rubbed up against me as she tried to lean into me more.

“Things are getting rather chaotic, aren’t they?” R, who was watching me with her usual unconcerned demeanor, said in a relaxed voice.

Things had gotten so far out of hand that now it was like all three of them were trying to fight over me. Didn’t it kind of look like I was cheating on three girls at once? I could feel the people around us staring at me. And then, just as Hibiki and President Momone went to draw their weapons...

Poof!

It sounded like there was a small explosion over my head. Wh-What on earth was it?

“R-Rekka, your hair...”

“Hm? Well, would you look at that.”

President Momone and Hibiki were now both looking at me with shocked expressions.

“Rekka... Your head feels hot,” Tokiwa whined as she slumped a little more against me.

I looked at my reflection in the window of the closest shop. And there it was... I was now the proud owner of a splendid afro.

“What the hell?!”

I was screaming, but I already knew what was going on. I’d been a victim of the Couples Afro Incident. The perpetrator must have seen the argument and thought that was I cheating on the girls.

But I’d really grown an afro with no warning at all, huh? Just how had that actually happened? I figured I’d have to catch the guy to find out. There was no way I was going to let him get away after all this.

I spun my afro-covered head around to look at the people watching me. One of them had to be the perpetrator, but who? Were any of them suspicious...?

“Hibiki, did you see anybody who looked suspicious?”

“Huh? Oh, um... not really.”

For some reason Hibiki’s response was kind of... flat. Was the afro really that shocking? I mean, sure, my hair was about five times its normal size, but...

“...Hmm?”

Suddenly President Momone raised an eyebrow.

“What’s wrong?”

“It’s faint, but I sense a strange presence...”

President Momone lifted up her eyepatch to activate her spirit sight. Was there a ghost nearby? She looked around, her eye gradually changing color.

“Found it.” She then took out her sword and took a swing. “Hyaaah!”

The blade came down hard on something invisible.

“Gyah!”

I thought I heard a scream.

“...What did you do?”

“That was a technique called the Reigenitto. It’s basically a way to slice a spirit in half. I’m still training, though, so the most I can do is hit them.”

Being hit by her probably hurt a lot. Wait, did spirits feel pain?

“But even if there was a spirit there, why hit it?”

“Because they have to be the one behind the Couples Afro Incident, obviously.”

“No, I don’t see how that’s obvious at all.”

“What, you don’t have the talisman I gave you?”

“I don’t normally walk around with it, no.”

“Why not? Well, whatever. I don’t think I was wrong.” President Momone pointed towards where she’d swung her sword—where there was probably a spirit writhing in pain—and said, “They’ve got an afro, too.”

▽

We followed President Momone to Kibi Shrine, her family’s shrine.

“I can’t believe that you guys were trying to solve the Couples Afro Incident, too.”

“Yeah, well... I guess we were.”

“You guys like getting caught up in weird stuff, huh? If I weren’t the student council president, I would’ve laughed the whole thing off as either some stupid rumor or an idiot’s idea of a prank. Looks like it turned out to be more than that, though.”

Momone stopped laughing and looked at the boy with the afro—allegedly the one behind the Couples Afro Incident—who was lying on the floor of the shrine. Both Hibiki and I had borrowed talismans from her, so we could see his afro now, too. It was a really funky one. I’d had the same hairstyle not long ago, but thankfully it had only lasted for about ten minutes.

Since we’d been looking into the case, too, President Momone had offered to let us interrogate the subject. (Tokiwa wasn’t feeling well, so she just went home.) After a bad first impression, however, Hibiki was still sulking a bit.

“Hibiki, cheer up.”

“You don’t even understand why I’m upset.”

“Huh? Well, sure, President Momone can be aggressive, but you don’t have to get that mad at her.”

“Yeah, you totally don’t understand at all.”

I was trying to defend President Momone, but I guess I’d just made her angrier. Had I just put it the wrong way?

“Sometimes I think you’re doing this deliberately,” R sighed.

Wait, doing what deliberately?

“I’ve put a barrier up around the shrine, so I guess we can wake afro boy here up safely.”

President Momone raised her sword, just like she’d done before.

“Wake up!”

“Gyaaahu!”

The afro ghost screamed and jumped up like he’d been bitten in the butt by a dog.

“Wh-Where am I?”

“A shrine,” President Momone replied. “You’re the one who’s been turning people’s hair into afros, right? Admit it.”

“Y-You can see me?”

SMACK!

“Gyaaahu!”

“Of course I can.”

Was there really a need to punch him then? I wanted to ask, but I decided against it. She’d probably just felt like hitting him. The afro ghost was holding his butt with one hand and his head with the other, lying on the floor and looking up at President Momone.

“Wh-What do you want with me?”

“Because of you and your antics, we lost a valuable Saturday. We need this Couples Afro Incident thing resolved so I don’t have to waste my time with these patrols anymore.”

Part of that seemed more like a personal thing... or was that why she was really doing this?

“So, why did you do it?”

“...”

SMACK!

“Gyaaahu!”

“Out with it.”

She was merciless...

“Um... I think you should just tell her, okay? She doesn’t know how to hold back and stuff.”

I was trying to help, but the ghost just looked at me and pursed his lips even tighter. That seemed to annoy President Momone, who then started to tap her bamboo sword against the ground.

“If you don’t tell me, this time I really won’t hold back.”

“So you were holding back before?” I asked.

“What? I’m a very compassionate woman. I was going easy on him.”

“How?”

“Like this.”

“You’re just spinning the sword around. That doesn’t tell me anything.”

“......u,” the ghost suddenly mumbled quietly.

“Hm? Did you say something?” President Momone asked.

And then the afro ghost’s head snapped upwards.

“It’s because of people like you!” he screamed as he pointed at me.

“Huh? What? It’s my fault?” I pointed at my own face, confused.

“It’s because of people like you that I died without ever being popular with girls!” he screamed, breaking into tears.

“...”

“...”

“Wh-Why are you all silent all of a sudden?”

Well, because...

“This is stupid,” Hibiki sighed.

“I-It’s not stupid! Do you know how much I suffered because I didn’t have a girlfriend?”

The afro ghost yelled, but Hibiki’s expression didn’t change. To be honest, I was thinking mostly the same thing she was.

“Actually, I can see how you’d get the wrong idea after what you saw, but I’m not actually that popular with girls, either.”

“Feel free to ignore that idiot,” Momone said. I didn’t understand why.

“Why afros, though?”

“My afro is natural. No matter what I do to my hair, it always goes back to being an afro... Do you know how many times girls have rejected me because of it? So I’m making other people share my pain.”

“I see. But that... doesn’t actually make sense.” She looked down at the ghost. “Is that going to make girls like you somehow?”

“Uwaaaaah!”

That was the final blow for the ghost, who then collapsed to the floor in a fit of hysterics. The rest of us looked at each other, uncertain of what to do.

“Okay, let’s just get rid of him and his stupid ideas!” President Momone yelled.

“No mercy at all?!” I said, slightly terrified. “Isn’t it a little mean to just erase him?”

“What would you suggest, then? He’s a ghost now. How’s he going to get a girlfriend?”

“Hmm...”

It would be hard for a ghost to date a living person, yeah... Ghosts and dates, huh?

“Wait...”

I suddenly had an idea. I might know exactly the girl for the job.

“President Momone, can you help me with something?”

“Help you with what?”

“Help me persuade Sakuya.”

▽

In front of the Namidare storehouse.

We’d left the afro ghost inside the barrier at Kibi Shrine, and now the three of us were all standing around the urn that had Sakuya sealed inside.

“Do I just take the talisman off the lid?”

“That’s right. I put a barrier up around the area so she won’t be able to get away even if we release her. If that bitch tries to do anything, I’ll whack her on the head,” President Momone declared, spinning her bamboo sword around.

I ripped the talisman off the urn, hoping I could resolve this as peacefully as possible. For a moment, the urn shook as if the spirit inside was awakening, then it floated upward and fell next to me.

“Sakuya, I need to talk to you. Can you come out?”

A blonde ghost with narrowed eyes poked her head above the rim of the urn.

“...Do you want something?”

She was almost glaring at me, although I could understand why she’d be suspicious of the boy who helped seal her away again.

“I think it’s something you’ll like. Will you at least hear me out?”

“Something I’ll like?”

Sakuya poked her head out of the pot just a little more.

“Hey, Sakuya, want to go on a date?”

“What’s a date?”

“I think this might be closer to an arranged marriage,” Hibiki said.

“A-An arranged marriage?!” Sakuya yelled.

She’d been sealed so long that maybe she didn’t know what a date was? Well, it wasn’t like any of us knew all that much about dating, either.

“Yeah, something like that. There’s somebody who really wants to meet you. Do you think you could go talk to them?”

“What? No, no, no, no!” she yelled as she began squirming and flailing.

“All right, then, seems like the bitch wants to meet him, too.”

“Huh? She looks really against it to me...” I said.

“Idiot. She’s just scared. She actually can’t wait to meet him.”

“Is that how it works...?”

“That’s how it works. Right?”

“U-Uh...”

Sakuya shrank back into her urn under President Momone’s glare. From the look on her face, maybe the president was right.

“Listen, Sakuya. You want to fall in love, right? But is that something you can really do just by possessing someone? Don’t you want to choose for yourself and fall in love on your own?”

“...”

“I mean, I won’t force you, but would you at least talk to the guy?”

“...I can’t,” Sakuya squeaked.

“Gaaah! We went to all this trouble, and you’re too scared? If you’d rather sleep until you grow moldy in the corner of a filthy storeroom, then maybe I should just send you to heaven right now!”

“President Momone, calm down! I just cleaned the storehouse. It’s not that dirty.”

I tried to calm her down, but she took out a talisman anyway. When Sakuya saw it, she screamed.

“B-But...”

“But what?”

“I-I’m... I’m not cute,” she answered in a voice I could barely hear.

“I don’t think that’s true at all...” I tried to say.

“I-I don’t want your sympathy...”

But it just made her more depressed. She was apparently seriously self-conscious about her appearance.

“...But you do want to meet him, right? What can I do to make it happen?” President Momone said, her arms crossed.

She was definitely the type to fight for what she wanted, so maybe she didn’t like it when other people gave up without even trying. As for me, I didn’t know what would happen, but at least I wanted the two of them to meet. If it didn’t work out, nobody was that worse off.

“Um... If I had that outfit, maybe I’d do it,” Sakuya said hesitantly.

“What outfit?” I asked.

“The girl I possessed before... the one with the red hair... she had a cute outfit,” Sakuya answered, her face bright red.

▽

The next day. Sunday.

It took a whole day for us to get Lea to ask Linda for one of the café’s uniforms and have President Momone prepare it so a ghost could wear it, but we managed to get it all together before the weekend was out.

From there, we all gathered at Linda Lovers to introduce the two spirits to one another. They didn’t like the light by the window seats, so we ended up taking a table by the wall. Me, Hibiki, President Momone, and the afro ghost were waiting for Sakuya to change into her outfit in the staff room.

The afro ghost seemed nervous. He hadn’t said anything for a while now. He was actually sitting at the table with us. He’d taken a physical form, so we could see him without talismans right now. But he hadn’t come back to life, President Momone explained. She’d just cut out paper in the form of a doll to give him a body.

“It’s only a temporary body, so it won’t last the day. It was my grandpa that actually cast the spell, not me, so it won’t outright fail. But since the body’s made of paper, any contact with water will break the spell. So avoid water and things like juice, okay?” was what she’d said.

“Sakuya’s sure taking her time. Did she get scared again?”

With her left eye, President Momone glanced towards the staff room. Lea was in there helping Sakuya get changed.

“Well, it’s probably her first time wearing clothes, so I can understand why it might take some time.”

She’d been wearing clothes as a ghost, but that was different. She was created with those, so today was her first time ever having to take off or put on clothes.

Eventually the door to the staff room opened. Lea came out first with Sakuya following behind her. Lea was so tall that it was hard to see Sakuya, but I caught glimpses of her blonde hair.

“Here we are! Huh? What’s wrong?”

Lea tried to introduce Sakuya, but...

“...I-I’m so embarrassed.”

She was still a little shy. She grabbed hold of Lea’s uniform and tried to hide behind her back so we couldn’t see her.

“This is getting nowhere! Just come on out!”

President Momone couldn’t take it anymore, so she grabbed Sakuya’s hand and dragged her out from behind Lea.

“Oh!”

Sakuya’s skirt almost flipped up, so she quickly reached down to grab the hem and hold it in place.

“Wahoo!”

The afro ghost shouted excitedly when he saw her. Honestly, I thought she was cute, too. When she looked up and saw that we were all looking at her, she instantly turned red and looked back down.

“W-Well, come sit down.”

Sakuya nodded and President Momone led her by the hand to the table. She sat down across from the afro ghost, but neither one of them said anything.

“Why not introduce yourselves?” President Momone asked.

“I’m Princess Sakuya.”

“I’m sorry. I forgot my name when I became a ghost.”

“Then let’s call you Afro Taro,” President Momone suggested.

“I-I’m Afro Taro, then.”

He was really okay with that? I had to wonder. Maybe he just wasn’t thinking properly. I could almost feel the heat coming off his afro from embarrassment. Well, Sakuya wasn’t much better.

“Where are you two from?”

“I don’t know.”

“Around here.”

“What are your favorite foods?”

“I don’t have one.”

“I liked croquettes when I was alive.”

President Momone was trying to get a conversation started, but they’d just answer her questions and fall silent. If left unprompted, they wouldn’t say anything at all. They couldn’t even make eye contact with each other. They were both spirits, but Sakuya hadn’t even been human to begin with. It seemed like they were having trouble connecting.

I looked at Hibiki as if to say, “This isn’t working, is it?” She shook her head.

“By the way, that outfit looks good on you, Sakuya.”

“Huh? I-It does?”

“It sure does. Isn’t it cute, Hibiki?”

“...Yeah.”

Hibiki didn’t look happy for some reason, but she nodded.

“R-Right? Don’t you think so, too, Taro?”

“Huh? Yeah. D-Definitely...”

“Th-Th-Thank you...”

Okay. At least we’d gotten them talking. Lea then came over to our table with a memo pad and a pen.

“Have you decided on your order?”

“Um, what does everybody want?” I asked.

“I’ll have apple juice.”

“Coffee for me.”

President Momone and Hibiki answered immediately.

“I-I’ll...”

Afro Taro tried to answer, too, but President Momone poked him and called him an idiot.

“If you drink anything, the spell will break. I just told you that.”

“O-Oh, right.” Afro Taro bowed his head.

Sakuya looked a little disappointed when she heard that. Maybe she wanted to try something.

“Okay, so one apple juice and two coffees.” I gave Lea our order.

“All right. By the way, Rekka...” Lea finished taking our order, but she didn’t leave.

“Wh-What is it, Lea?”

“I heard you praising Sakuya in her outfit, but you’ve never done that for me. Do I not look good in it?” Lea asked. She sounded a little sad as she played with the hem of her skirt.

“N-No, that’s not it at all! You look great! Yeah. Honestly, you look so cute it’s kind of hard to actually look at you... but you really do look cute!”

“I see.” She smiled happily.

“...You say everyone looks cute, don’t you?”

“Huh?”

Why was Hibiki making that pouting face? She and Sakuya were both looking at me skeptically.

“No reason... Actually, you only said I was girly. You never called me cute, so I guess I can’t say you call everyone that.”

“Huh? Um... Well, Kanae was there, and I think girly kind of implies cute, too...”

“You don’t need to force yourself to say it. I know I’m the kind of girl that gets mistaken for a guy.”

She laughed, but there was no happiness in her eyes. Why was she so mad? R let out an exasperated sigh next to me.

“She put all that effort into planning that date, and then the whole thing got wrecked by the ghost and Momone. I’m sure that pushed her over the edge.”

Huh? Wasn’t the goal of that date to catch the ghost to begin with? It seemed like a success to me. I looked to R for answers, but she just ignored me.

“You already have lots of cute girls around you. You probably just think of me as a convenient little tomboy who goes to a different school...”

“No! That’s not true! You’re cute, too! You looked good in your sailor uniform.. and your swimsuit on planet Berano was great, too!”

“Particularly her boobs and navel.”

“Yeah, particularly your boobs and navel... What?!”

R! Why the hell did you have to whisper that in my ear?!

“M-M-My breasts and navel?! What are you talking about?!”

“N-No, I didn’t mean that! The devil made me say it! I definitely didn’t mean to sexually harass you...”

Hibiki went red and crossed her arms across her chest. I tried my best to come up with an excuse, but I had nothing.

“Rekka, I don’t know about navels, but I think my breasts are kind of nice, too,” Lea said as she lifted her breasts up with both arms so that I could see them better.

“I see. So the problem child thinks a woman’s worth is decided by her breasts, huh?” President Momone nodded.

“I do not! Please don’t slander me like that!”

“But you joined the light literature club because of Midori’s breasts, right? She doesn’t eat much, and she sits at a desk all day, so I don’t know how her breasts got so big. I guess it’s true that kids who sleep enough grow up right, maybe?”

“You’ve got it all wrong!”

“But you know, Rekka Namidare, a girl’s worth more than her breasts. My breasts are average, but I’ve trained my biceps and thighs with kendo, and I’m quite confident in them. Want to see?”

Where was this discussion even going now?!

“How about it? If you join the student council, I’m willing to show you just what’s under the inside of my skirt,” she said with a grin.

“Rekka, why not try touching them?” Lea said as she pushed her breasts together.

“Lea, you get back to work! And Rekka! You really need to...” Hibiki yelled at Lea, and then turned her attention back towards me.

Wh-Why was this happening? R seemed to be saying it was my fault, but I couldn’t figure out why. And just as we’d forgotten why we came here in the first place...

“Knock it off!”

“Knock it off!”

Sakuya and Afro Taro both yelled at us, then picked up water glasses from the table and dumped them on themselves. The water was enough to break the spell, so they both returned to spirit forms and pointed at us angrily.

“Get a stomachache!”

“Grow an afro!”

Poof!

Suddenly Lea, Hibiki, and President Momone went pale, and there was something of a small explosion over my head. Sakuya and Afro Taro had probably just cursed us all. The three girls gasped and ran off, which seemed to confirm my theory. Now it was just me, my afro, and two very satisfied looking spirits.

“Wow, that felt good.”

“It sure did! Acting all lovey-dovey like that right in front of me... They should just explode!”

The two spirits smiled and laughed with each other.

“Aren’t we supposed to be the center of attention here? But they’re just ignoring us! Is that bullying? Are they bullying us? Or just showing off? Ugh, drop dead!”

“You know, it reminds me of the last day of the school festival when I got left all alone in the classroom. The whole class paired off with each other and went to eat lunch... Damn you, Tanaka! I thought you were my one friend!”

The two of them began to talk about all the things they’d done to get even with couples.

“I saw a boy and girl walking along sharing a crepe. I was really angry, so just before she could finish the last bite, I gave her a stomachache!”

“Oh, that’s a great idea. I saw a boy and girl walking home in the rain under an umbrella, so I turned his hair into an afro so big that he couldn’t hold the umbrella anymore. It was so awkward!”

“Hahaha! That’s great! How do you come up with something like that?”

“Well, I just remembered how hard it was for me to hold an umbrella sometimes when I was alive...”

However odd the circumstances, they seemed to be getting along now. They continued to talk for a while, and by the time everyone got back to the table, they’d happily wandered off together. So I guess... it worked? I explained to the girls that, somewhat awkwardly, our mission was complete.

▽

Monday. After school.

I’d come to the light literature club to tell Tokiwa how things had turned out.

“...So, that’s about the size of it.”

When I finished my explanation, Tokiwa nodded a little and began to tap away at her keyboard rapidly. Now that Sakuya and Afro Taro had each other, they’d probably stop giving people stomachaches and afros. Things had gotten a little weird along the way, but the case was solved, at least. And it looked like it had inspired Tokiwa, too. She suddenly beckoned to me.

“What is it?”

She briefly pointed to the screen and then began typing again.

She had another text file open apart from the story she was working on.

“By the way, was the date fun?” it read.

She’d probably typed it out so she could still communicate with me while she worked on her story. It would be hard to grab on to me and talk to me while she was typing. That was good news, actually, but I had a feeling she’d still grab me the next time I was in the nurse’s office.

“Um, the date was fun. You were a big help with it all. It was thanks to you that we were able to solve the Couples Afro Incident, too.”

I waited as she typed out more. This time it read, “I see. I’m glad. I pulled the plan from a date scene in the novel I was reading, so I’m glad it worked.”

“...Huh?”

She took it from a novel?

“So that wasn’t a date plan you came up with?” I asked.

“I’ve never been on a date.” she typed. “My only lover has been my writing.”

Tokiwa was still writing her novel... but then she thought for a moment and clicked back to the document she was using to talk to me. She typed the words, “But it felt like I was going on a date with you, too, so it was fun.”

I was caught off guard by this sudden confession, but Tokiwa didn’t take her eyes off the screen. What was I even supposed to say?

“She’s hard to read, isn’t she?”

For once, I had to agree with R.

Then there was a knock at the door. It was rare for there to be any visitors. I wondered who it could be as I got up to open the door, but then whoever it was opened the door for themselves.

“Hey! Rekka Namidare!”

“P-President Momone?”

She barged into the room red with rage, then grabbed me by the collar and put her bamboo sword to my throat.

“Wh-What’s going on? I don’t think I did anything today...”

“That’s not what I’m here for! I’m talking about that bitch and her afro friend! You said that it was all dealt with, right? So I was all excited to come to school and finally be free of those stupid patrols! But...!”

“B-But?” I asked, finding it a little hard to breathe.

“I just got a message from the other school’s student council! There’ve been six new cases already, except now the boy gets an afro and the girl gets sick, too!”

“Seriously...?”

I-I thought they’d calm down now that they were getting along, but apparently we had double trouble.

“So I’m back to patrols this week! And who do you think I should take it out on, huh?”

“Please don’t take it out on me! I’ll die!”

“Well, then...” Tokiwa suddenly leaned in as she wrapped her arms around my neck. “If you want to make it up to her, why don’t the three of us... go on a date?”

“What?”

Tokiwa giggled as she watched our eyes go wide.