Chapter 56: Dark Celes

“...You’re Kaoru, aren’t you?”

“Hm? Um... Yes...”

Someone had talked to me out of nowhere while I was out shopping. She was a pretty young girl...

If I recall correctly, Aral is six years old, and Mine is nine, I think? This kid looked to be about the same age as Mine, but those two had spent time living on the streets and in an orphanage, so they were a bit smaller than the average child. This one had well-maintained hair and skin, and simple but expensive-looking clothes, as if she came from a wealthy family, so maybe she was a bit younger than Mine. I would have walked on without taking notice if it had been some guy trying to pick up girls, a shady-looking merchant, or a stuffy old man, but she seemed to have some urgent business with me...

“I’m Leia. You will take care of me!”

“You’re a bossy one, aren’t you?!”

“So, Leia...”

“Call me Mistress Leia. And stand at attention when you address me, and preface it with, ‘Your pardon.’”

“Just what empire do you rule over?!”

“Just a joke...”

Some time later, I reflected on how there was nothing funny about it when I considered what she had ended up telling me... Yes, she blurted out the horrible truth just moments ago. That being...

“Well, I’m here to find out whether that newbie Celestine has been running things properly around here.”

And there it was... It seemed this newcomer was Celes’s colleague, or even a superior, or some sort of inspector or official. Well, it was clear to see that the physical appearance of these folks had nothing to do with their actual age.

This was bad. Very bad. I couldn’t cause any trouble for Celes, and I couldn’t have her boss reacting like, “You gave these primitive creatures such overpowered abilities? What were you thinking?!” because she might end up taking away Reiko’s and my powers.

This was bad. Reeeally baaad!!!

“...Oh, and this is a secret inspection, so don’t tell Celestine about me, no matter what. That is, unless you’re not afraid of the penalty that awaits you otherwise.”

I nodded. What else could I do?!

“Celestine will sense my presence if I use my powers here, so I have to refrain from using them. So if I’m ever in trouble, you take care of it for me!”

I nodded. I mean, that made sense to me.

“For now, I want a place to stay, good food, and some...‘money?’ Give me lots of that. I’m very interested in this so-called food, so don’t let me down for my first experience!”

I nod—

“Wait, I can’t go along with that!!!”

She’s like a wicked version of Celes! Yes, you could even say she’s Dark Celes!

“So, you have no intention of living with me?” I asked.

“Of course not! If I did, I wouldn’t be able to do whatever...I mean, Celestine would find me whenever she checked in on you!”

What was with that Freudian slip?! That was definitely what she really meant!

“...So you paid ten days worth of lodging fees at the best inn in the city, up-front, gave her the food you had saved in the Item Box, and handed her 30 gold coins?”

“Yeah...”

After listening to my report, Reiko thought about it for some time. Then...

“She’s lying.”

“Thought so!”

Yup. Celes’s job, or rather, her duty, was to prevent the accidental fusion of dimensions. There was little room for consideration about whether the native creatures here lived or died. In fact, Celes had a pretty twitchy trigger finger when it came to dishing out divine punishments just because someone got in the way of her work. Not to mention, Celes was considered relatively mild-mannered and lacked malice for the most part, and she was the type to usually have her head in the clouds.

In other words, their kind hardly ever cared about the native lower beings of this world, barring some special cases. They probably cared about us less than a human would care about an ant. That is, unless we did something to help them or had something they wanted.

So, even if she was here for some sort of inspection, she should only be interested in how Celes has been keeping an eye out for distortions and handling them. At the very least, there was no way she was here to interact with the native creatures here, eat good food, or ask for money. Which means...

“She’s just here to secretly have fun behind Celes’s back!” we exclaimed together.

Their kind was intellectually mature beyond human imagination, so the concept of malice or hatred hardly ever applied to them. There were times when such emotions occurred in their offspring, which had their intellect and abilities lowered to our level, but they were so faint that it was hardly worth noting. The reason Celes was so liberal with bringing down divine punishment wasn’t because she was emotional in that sense. It was merely because she really didn’t think anything of human life.

Similarly, humans killed insects not with malice, but simply because they felt mildly annoyed. From Celes’s point of view, I was a pet that she liked to take care of, and the people around me were like local strays who her pet cat had brought in. That was likely the extent of her feelings for me...

So that girl...or, that offspring of a highly advanced life-form that looked like a little girl...likely didn’t feel much malice for me either. She had only decided to come to this place on a whim...

“...That’s probably what that lower life form is thinking,” Leia thought as she elegantly sipped some tea. She sat in a room in the most luxurious inn in the city and took a bite from some snacks that she had wangled from Kaoru.

“It’s true that our cores don’t feel such emotions, but we offspring have had our abilities lowered to their level in order to communicate with these lower lifeforms. As such, we do have a mild form of those emotions, simply in order to understand how they think. So we understand things like intrigue, schemes, trickery, and the thoughts and emotions that come with them... In order to supervise the region that she’s in charge of, my core created a lower form that’s practically equal to Celestine in capabilities, and then that lower self branched off again to create me as part of this plot. As such, I’ll see this scheme through to carry out the will of my originator!”

Leia grinned with her teacup in her left hand and half-eaten snack in the other.

“I will outdo Celestine by gathering more detailed information on that Kaoru girl and report to Earth’s manager (hallowed be his name) to gain his favor! Then his affection for me will be greater than for Celestine or for my progenitor!”

Not only do I intend to come out on top of Celestine, but I would defy even my own progenitor! Such a villain I am! Ah, such wickedness, such dastardly machinations! I am the very embodiment of evil! I terrify even myself!

“Ha. Aha ha. Aha ha ha ha....”

A spiritually mature, divine overlord... This was the ultimate evil that its extremely inferior version could manage.

“I have run out of ‘money.’ I want more!”

That was the first thing out of Leia’s mouth when she showed up at my door.

“YOU’VE GOTTA BE KIDDING ME!!!” I shouted at her at the top of my lungs.

Yeah, I was pissed! I had paid upfront for a ten-night stay at the most expensive inn in the city (with breakfast and dinner) and handed her thirty gold coins (equivalent to three million Japanese yen) just five days ago!

“How did you run out so fast?!”

“...Who knows? Because I used it?” Leia said nonchalantly.

“Let me go! Let me punch this little!!!”

Reiko ignored me and held me back in a full nelson.

Let me slug her, damn it! Haah... Haah...

“Listen, Leia. Money is something that’s not easy to acquire. You can’t just turn a faucet and get unlimited amounts of it, you know?”

It wasn’t her fault she didn’t understand. That was why I decided to put in the effort to educate her. Then...

“I know. So hurry up and get some!”

“Aaaaaargh!!!”

“Now, now...”

Reiko put me in a full nelson again as I erupted in a fit of rage. Reiko didn’t understand how useless Celes could be. That was why she respected her as the goddess who had granted us our reincarnations and our cheat powers. This also explained why Reiko had respect for this one as a goddess. But they didn’t deserve even a shred of respect from me!

“Let me gooo! I need to punch her in the face!”

Despite her youthful appearance, she was probably millions or hundreds of millions of years old. That meant it wouldn’t be child abuse if I did punch her. I could hit her to my heart’s content!

“Haah... Haah...”

I finally calmed down. She may not have much common sense, but she probably wasn’t evil or anything... Probably. Surely that was true. At least, I hoped so...

“Can you come with me for a sec? Mine, you too.”

“Hm?”

“Yes, my lady!”

Leia and Mine followed me, and of course, Reiko and Aral came along too. Our destination was...

“What is this place?”

“The room where we process our dried goods,” I said in response to Leia’s question, but I wasn’t sure if she even knew what dried fish was.

“Mine, dry this for me.”

“What? Oh, yes!”

I pulled a fish out of the Item Box while pretending to reach into a cabinet, but no one seemed to question me. I mean, Reiko and Leia were a different story, but Mine and Aral should have at least questioned it somewhat.

As I considered this thought, Mine was already getting to work opening the fish up. Leia probably couldn’t understand why I was having them do this while everyone watched, but since her kind perceived time completely different from us, she probably could have stared all day without thinking much of it.

Of course, Mine was already used to the process, so she wouldn’t take much time handling just one fish. But just as Mine finished most of the prep work...

“Leia. That work that Mine just did is part of the process for making the dried goods we sell. We also need to stock the fish at the market and wash it. And after this, we need to rub in salt, marinate it, then dry it in a cool, dark place or in the sun, and go out into the city... Of course, we’ll need to find a buyer and work out a deal beforehand too,” I explained.

“And once we complete a sale after all that work, we only make about two silver coins after you subtract the cost of the fish and salt, along with other expenses. That’s about one-fifteen-thousandth of those thirty gold coins you spent in these past five days, not even counting the lodging fees I paid for,” I said, completing my explanation.

“...Huh?” Leia stared blankly.

“If we made thirty of these dried fish a day, that’s five hundred days of work. That’s about two years, with two days off each week. Say the average age of humans in this world is about fifty years...”

I reached out with my right hand, then pointed right at Leia with my pointed finger.

“In other words, you wasted the money that this girl spent one-twenty-fifth of her life to make in just five days! We might just be insignificant lower beings to you, but you threw away one-twenty-fifth of a life that was born into this world, doing the best they could!”

“What...?” Leia looked dumbfounded.

Yes, I was fully aware that I was being unreasonable. My math was completely sloppy, and the coins I gave her were actually sourced from the money I had made selling potions a long time ago. But if this girl was an entity similar to Celes...and like Celes, if she was an extremely inferior version of her core...there was a good chance I could sway her with enough momentum. Just like I did to Celes that one time...

Even if we were just lower lifeforms to them, they probably had some level of compassion for us. It would have been one thing if she was a distant, isolated entity, but if she had been reduced down to the same level as Celes... Then maybe she would at least feel for us as much as we would for an ant trying desperately to live...

“One-twenty-fifth... One-twenty-fifth of her entire lifespan... I wasted that much of this fragile being’s life in just five days because I decided to eat, drink, play, and fool around...”

Huh, it’s working better than I thought?

I figured it wouldn’t have resonated with her kind if I just told her the number of years, so I put it in terms of how much of her total lifespan was used. Maybe the way I phrased it as “one-twenty-fifth of her life” had a big impact on her, or she had compared the two years of a mere fifty-year lifespan to hundreds of millions in her own life. In any case, she seemed to be taking it hard, so mission accomplished. I just had to press the attack!

“Do you see now? Money is important in this world. Some people can obtain it easily, but most people can’t. And it’s not like having money will let you do whatever you want or guarantee happiness. Money is an important tool for seizing happiness. It can’t buy all happiness, but it can buy most forms of it...”

“It can?!” Reiko whispered urgently behind me, but I ignored her.

Mine was nodding in agreement. Yes, Mine knew firsthand how scary money could be, as well as how helpful it could be.

“Sorry.”

Oh? She’s awfully meek all of a sudden...

This was unexpected. Maybe this was my chance to take the orthodox approach.

“Leia, you lied about being here to supervise Celes, didn’t you?”

“Urgh...”

I knew it.

“No, it’s fine. If you’re not going to be too much trouble for us, no one can blame you for taking a break from such important and taxing work. You’ve been watching out for distortions for the safety of all the creatures and dimensions in your jurisdiction, right? You have every right to take a breather every now and then. Don’t worry about it!”

“Huh...? Oh, um, right...”

Hm? That wasn’t much of a clear answer...

“Leia, is the region you’re in charge of okay? If a distortion appears there...” Reiko asked worriedly, then...

“Oh, there’s no need to worry about that.”

Why did she sound so unconcerned?

“The self that’s at an equivalent level to the Celestine here is managing the region I’m in charge of even now. I’m just a lower-level form created by that self...”

“You’re at an even lower level than that head-in-the-clouds Celes?!”

That meant her intelligence had decreased so far that, not only did she lack knowledge or divine powers, but her thinking abilities and intellect were below even that of a normal human’s! No wonder she was so easy to convince...

“Well, thank you.”

I had asked the person at the inn to take care of Leia. Leia and I had decided that her backstory would be that she was the daughter of a noble house and was visiting to supervise us. She was supposed to be a willful aristocrat from a household that had favorable relations with mine, and had convinced her family to let her come here, since she was envious of the way we were living our lives freely and wanted to go on adventures herself.

We didn’t think too deeply about why Leia would be supervising us when she didn’t even look old enough to be ten years old, while Reiko and I looked about fourteen or fifteen, and twelve, respectively. The person at the inn probably just figured aristocrats did strange things and let it slide.

Well, kids from noble households were supposed to be educated from a young age. There were precocious kids, mature kids, genius kids, and surprisingly responsible kids among them, so it wasn’t too unusual.

I decided to spread a rumor that she had bodyguards who were constantly watching her from the shadows and prepared to cut down anyone who laid hands on her. I mean, things could have gotten real ugly if I didn’t. Not just to this city, but the entire country, or maybe even the continent...

Even though Leia was far more benevolent and kind to the lower lifeforms than Celes was, and it was highly unlikely that Leia would ever be in any actual danger, she wouldn’t show any mercy to someone who attacked her with obvious malice. There was absolutely no reason for her to do so.

Humans, too, crushed mosquitoes without hesitation or guilt when they got stung. That applied even to people who were kind by nature, and it wouldn’t have been strange if they were to spray their surroundings with bug spray afterward, even if the other mosquitoes hadn’t done anything. Though she might just laugh off an attack, since it was likely to be as weak as being batted as a kitten, and thus let it slide...

Also, by declaring that she had bodyguards watching over her, people could assume one of them used a steel wire if an attacker’s head suddenly got lopped off...

“No they wouldn’t!”

And they wouldn’t question it.

Yeah, I’m just gonna ignore Reiko’s comment.

A cheap inn, or even a normal inn, was too dangerous to stay in alone for a girl who both looked wealthy and about eight years old like Leia did. That was why I had decided to have her stay at the inn she had gone to first, where the employees, service, safety—and of course, price—were top-tier, but I lowered the quality of her room to make it a bit easier on my wallet.

I had explained Leia’s made-up backstory to the workers at the inn, and told them she was a ditz who had used up the funds she brought from our home country in just a few days. I also explained that I would be paying for her room directly and would give her a small allowance once a week.

Normally, an employee at a high-class inn wouldn’t ever discuss a guest’s private matters, but since this pertained to Leia’s safety, they agreed to make a public statement about it. They didn’t seem to like it, though, probably because they didn’t want others to think they had loose lips when it came to their customers’ affairs. That said, I was the one who had practically forced them to.

But that’s okay! The people who stayed at this inn were all competent, so when they heard the rumors about Leia, they would understand that the inn made themselves look bad for her safety, and it would be a net positive for their reputation! Probably.

And so, word spread around that robbing Leia wasn’t worth it, and in combination with the rumors about her secret bodyguards, it was unlikely that anyone would find the idea too appealing in the future. Many people probably already knew about Leia’s wild spending habits from the past five days, and she would now be living a meager (by aristocratic standards) lifestyle with the allowance I supplied her from now on, so the story checked out.

And since Leia knew Celes checked in with me every once in a while, she should focus on enjoying her vacation for the most part and stay away from me. I hoped that the entities like the higher-level Leias would enjoy seeing this, since they were too advanced to enjoy such behavior themselves, like older sisters fondly watching their little sister do dumb things for fun.

They were giving their best effort for the sake of all of space and time, so they at least deserved that much.

“...Is probably what that lower life form is thinking,” Leia said to herself.

“Though, it’s true that Celes would catch on if I spent too much time with that girl, and I only want to enjoy conversing with ‘him’ about her antics rather than how I can manipulate her to my whim. He would probably scold me if I told him about that part...” Leia mused as she munched on some snacks in her room at the inn. Perhaps it was a characteristic of their kind, but she had a tendency to talk to herself a lot.

In any case, it seemed Kaoru and company would get away without taking too much damage from this whole incident.

“...But I think I should get a little more of an allowance. I can still eat much more with this body, and food and snacks are quite an interesting experience. And why is it that the better-tasting food is more expensive? Is this some sort of cruel joke?! I should bring this up the next time she gives me my allowance...”

She had mastered the language of this country, but for some reason, she still hadn’t mastered what people would consider common sense in this world. Expenses related to Leia were separate from Little Silver’s finances and came from Kaoru’s old assets, so it didn’t affect things too much in that sense... Yet.

And Kaoru had assumed Leia would go back home after enjoying her stay for a little while... Despite the fact that she of all people should have known that Celes and her kind perceived time completely different compared to humans. Then again, Kaoru had misinterpreted Leia’s reason for her stay in the first place, so this additional misconception wasn’t too big of a deal...

“All right, the case of the mysterious visitor is now closed! Let’s return to our mission!”

This phrase, “return to our mission,” was one I had used a lot in my previous life. It was something I had picked up from some war movie, if I remembered correctly. I had probably watched it with my older brother on TV, or otherwise it was some video we rented.

“Roger that!”

“R-Raw-ja that?”

“Raw-jar that!”

Of course, Reiko knew all of the phrases and terms I used from my previous life, and Mine and Aral mimicked her response in a fluster. So adorable...

Things had gotten a bit chaotic with Leia’s arrival, but Little Silver had made a good running start on creating the processed meat division after its processed fish division, and the accessories division, which handled things like handicrafts, were also doing well.

The issue was that the demand outpaced our supply. After all, our production was mainly handled by Mine, who was a nine-year-old girl, and Aral, a six-year-old boy. There would obviously be limits to how much we could produce at a time.

I mean, Reiko and I were obviously working too, but our work mainly involved external parties, like pitching products and new business developments...and it wasn’t like we wanted to do the production-side stuff every day.

I wanted to live in leisure and gain just enough money that no one would get suspicious about how I lived. It wasn’t as if I wanted to spend a fortune on alcohol and gambling, and the food Reiko and I made was better than what your average lower-class aristocrats were eating. Not only did we know advanced cooking techniques from Earth, but we used seasonings that I produced with my potion powers.

That’s cheating? Who cares!

Though maybe without those spices and seasonings I created with my potion-making ability, we wouldn’t stand a chance against the top-of-the-line ingredients that they used in noble households... In any case, we left the physical labor to our workers while Reiko and I did the easy work.

But that’s no reason for criticism! That’s what it means to run a business, right?

Besides, we were doing a public service by giving Mine and Aral work and teaching them skills. There wasn’t a single lie in that submission form and petition I had sent to the local lord. Nope. Of course, I had to admit that Mine and Aral had a disproportionate workload on their end. I really had to do something about that...

The obvious answer was to hire more employees. A skilled entrepreneur would build a work area next to the former orphanage in order to increase production. However, there was one problem with that: We had far too many secrets to keep, and we were sure to get weirdos if we started taking applicants.

I mean, this was a business that a couple of wealthy aristocratic girls were running for fun. It just reeked of money. Not to mention, we had special connections for obtaining those spices. Every merchant and scoundrel who caught wind of it would be foaming at the mouth for an opportunity to get in on this. There would definitely be some unscrupulous people, or those applying on their boss’s order, in the applicants we got.

Besides, it would defeat the whole purpose of this operation if we hired a bunch of people, then had to take on more work to pay for their salaries. We only worked so everyone could live happy lives and didn’t want to take on risk or do anything we didn’t want to. We’d make the big bucks with the other, private business, so no thanks.

I still had my old savings to pay for Leia’s living expenses too. Though, it wasn’t as if that was unlimited, so my emergency funds would only dwindle over time if this kept up. After all, I had only converted a portion of my fortune, because putting too much money into circulation at once would bring us some unwanted attention. Most of it was still in the old gold coins that were no longer being used.

I had to think of something...