Chapter 36: Hurdle to Happiness

Chapter 36:
Hurdle to Happiness

 

TIME FLIES when you’re having fun, but slows to a crawl when things are bad.

The time Violette and Yulan spent in the café zoomed past, and now that Yulan was bringing her home, Violette felt a heavy load settle on her shoulders. The melancholy she usually felt at the end of the school day had been forgotten for a while, but now it was back, heavier for being delayed.

Still, her day out had done her some good; she felt better than usual as she arrived home. She told the servants that she was full from the pancakes so she wouldn’t have to sit with her family at the dining table. Still, she wondered what they would think. Tomorrow’s breakfast would probably be extra depressing, but for now, she enjoyed today’s sense of freedom.

“Lady Violette, I have prepared your change of clothes,” said Marin.

“Thanks,” said Violette.

Violette took a quick shower, then changed into the dress Marin had laid out for her. It was simple, unadorned white, the kind of loungewear that prioritized comfort over design, but still elegant enough that she could wear it outside without causing a scandal.

Violette generally wore clothes that were simple yet luxurious and let her natural beauty shine through. Her accessories were small and subtle. Unfortunately, the current ladies’ fashions that suited Violette best were stiff and hard to move in. She found it exhausting that she could never wear what she wanted, even when alone; her father had forbidden the boys’ clothes she wore growing up as inappropriate. So instead, she did her best to find plain, comfortable dresses to wear at home.

Tonight’s garment was an A-line dress that didn’t squeeze her waist. It was neat and elegant, but she didn’t think it really suited her. A cute dress like this would look better on Maryjune.

“Lady Violette, if you are going to rest, shall I braid your hair?” said Marin.

“Yes, if you don’t mind.”

“Of course not.”

Violette sat in front of the large full-length mirror, and Marin took her place behind her and began slowly brushing her hair. Violette’s hair was soft and tangled easily, and its gray hue shimmered even in the room’s dim light. Dividing it into thin sections, Marin wove her hair into a loose braid, and tied the end with a white lace hair tie. She always took so much care with Violette’s hair, treating it like a precious gift.

“It doesn’t hurt, right?” Marin asked.

“No, thank you,” said Violette. The reflection in the mirror didn’t look like her. This version of herself was unknown to her classmates and family. She didn’t normally wear makeup, but just this change in clothes and hairstyle gave her a markedly different air.

She reclined on her bed, burying her cheek in the soft pillow. Marin had prepared her bed, and the sheets still smelled like sun. This was one of the few things in the house that had been made just for her.

“I had fun today,” Violette murmured.

“I’m glad,” said Marin.

“The pancakes were delicious.”

“Yes.”

“They were like a dream…”

She didn’t have to mind her manners or avoid her favorite things because they’d make her look bad. Even if she got a mouthful of her own hair, she could laugh and let it pass. She sleepily told Marin everything that had happened.

“If you’re exhausted, please just rest,” said Marin.

“Okay…” Violette’s eyes fell closed on their own. She’d thought that she could stay awake longer, but this drowsiness didn’t come from fatigue. The soft, warm comfort of her bed gently pulled her under. Sluggishly, she shifted her heavy limbs into a more comfortable position, and Marin promptly pulled the comforter up to cover her shoulders.

She buried her face in the warmth surrounding her, the day’s happy memories playing behind her eyelids. She muttered a final “thanks” to Marin.

As she drifted off, she realized that even after everything, she did end up enjoying herself today.

 

***

 

“Good night, my lady,” said Marin.

Marin smiled at the sound of her master sleeping. The small person asleep in the large bed had an ephemeral quality, completely different from her usual elegance. Dreams were far kinder to Violette than waking; even the worst nightmare would disappear when she awoke.

Marin watched over Violette every night as she fell asleep and wished for sweet dreams. Please, let your mind grant you a beautiful fantasy, not a painful reminder of the past. Even if the real world was cruel and stifling, she hoped that Violette could laugh freely in the world of dreams.

She would surely have a good dream tonight.

Violette always slept in the same small, curled up position. But tonight, her huddled form didn’t look like she was trying to protect herself from danger. Instead, it was like she’d fallen asleep while embracing a precious treasure.

“You’ve taken the first step, I think.”

Violette clearly saw Yulan as someone who loved her unconditionally, a partner whose affection she could accept without suspicion. He gave her the kind of love she should be getting from her family, and she returned it. For now, he was the only person Marin could trust to treat Violette right.

For now, he was the only one who could make Violette happy.

Marin thought she knew where Violette’s heart was heading, and she hoped it would work out. Violette wasn’t there yet, but wouldn’t it be best if she fell in love with the one person who always made her smile? He should do what he could to become Violette’s lover…no, he should zip right past lover and become her official fiancé.

Violette already held a deep affection for Yulan, but changing a friendship to a romance was where things got tricky. Yulan himself understood that it was easier said than done. She had to assume that was why he kept up the pretense as her younger brother, and that he was carefully waiting for the right time to shift things in a romantic direction.

His tactics are impressive, I’ll give him that.

If Yulan ever hurt Violette, or made her sad, then Marin would destroy him, of course. So far he’d been nothing but considerate, and Marin had quite a bit of faith that he would stay that way. But until Violette truly fell in love with him, Marin wouldn’t help him.

She hoped it would be Yulan, though. In her heart, she was rooting for him. But hoping they got together and actively helping him were two different things. She knew all about obsessive, one-sided love, and people so blinded by their feelings that they caused irreparable harm. Marin and Violette had both experienced the worst of love, after all. She wanted Violette to be happy, and that meant she couldn’t force it.

In the end, I can’t do this on my own.

Marin knew she couldn’t be the one to make Violette happy. And it wasn’t just because they were the same gender; even in the past when they were far more taboo, same-sex relationships still bloomed when people wanted them.

But even if she somehow became the perfect man and Violette fell in love with her, she couldn’t do it. Violette needed someone who could take her away from this house, and no matter how much Marin treasured Violette, that was beyond her ability. Marin would have to rely on someone else to save her beloved mistress. All she could do was wait, and imagine Violette’s smile on the day she finally fell in love. She wanted Violette to have the ideal family she’d been denied all her life, the family that the Vahans should have been.

“Still, I won’t give her up that easily.”

Anyone who wanted to win her beautiful, intelligent, wonderful mistress’s heart would have to put in the effort. She’d build up the highest hurdle to trip up fools who’d been lured in by Violette’s alluring surface qualities. But if they found the right person, someone who passed her tests and who Violette really, truly loved, Marin would use every power at her disposal to prepare a seat of honor for him at her side.

She didn’t know yet whether that seat would belong to Yulan, or to some other wonderful prince she had yet to meet, but she would be ready whatever came.