Chapter 37: They Say Ignorance Is Bliss

Chapter 37:
They Say Ignorance Is Bliss

 

VIOLETTE HAD ALWAYS LIKED the expression “a double-edged sword;” it seemed to apply to so many things in her life. Whenever she acted, the consequences were hers and hers alone, even if they weren’t what she intended.

She told herself that as she surveyed the situation she found herself in. This sprang from something she’d done, so she had no right to complain.

She also didn’t have to welcome it with open arms.

“I apologize, Mademoiselle Violette,” said Milania.

“No, it’s fine.” said Violette.

“I appreciate you saying that,” he replied with a refreshing smile.

To his side, directly across from Violette, sat Prince Claudia.

Claudia had a complicated expression on his face that Violette couldn’t quite read, and he sat with his arms crossed and refused to look her in the eye. Milania had clearly noticed his standoffish behavior and had tried to smooth it over a little, but it didn’t do much to ease the awkwardness. Violette could practically feel the disapproval radiating off Claudia; with how turbulent their relationship had been lately, she wasn’t surprised.

But then, why had they gone out of their way to sit down at her table?

Milania and Claudia had come to the cafeteria in the middle of lunch break while it was at its busiest. The cafeteria was spacious, but seats weren’t particularly plentiful, and today most people were scattered in small groups throughout the room. There were hardly any empty seats that weren’t next to a loudly chatting group…except in the area around Violette.

Violette was surrounded by a bubble of empty space; the other students were clearly avoiding her. She was pretty sure she knew why, but she also hadn’t minded being left alone.

But she still couldn’t imagine why Milania had called out to her. She would have thought he’d have enough tact to steer clear and save them all from this awkwardness. When he asked if they could take the seats, she’d had no way to refuse. And she’d been alone at a table for ten people, yet they’d chosen to sit directly across from her.

If her table was really their only option, she’d thought they’d at least sit down at the other end. But Claudia was the prince…maybe she should be the one to give up her seat? No, if she moved now, they’d think she was avoiding them. If only she could avoid them!

“Yulan isn’t with you today?” Milania asked.

“No…I don’t see him as often since we started high school. We’re still close, though,” Violette explained. They’d spent plenty of time together as children, and in middle school, they’d been together every day. But now that they were both in high school, the days they spent together were fewer and farther between. Violette was happy that Yulan still cared about her, but she was even happier that he wasn’t here right now.

Violette and Milania both knew that Yulan and Claudia didn’t get along. They wouldn’t be so childish as to pick a fight in public, but neither of them was above hiding pointed barbs behind bright smiles.

“Your food will get cold,” Violette commented, nodding toward their untouched meals.

“Ah, right. Claudia…” Milania said with a glance at his friend.

When sharing a table with strangers or near-strangers, it was normal to pay extra attention to them, but Violette was otherwise occupied—she was more concerned with avoiding doing or saying anything that a passerby could misunderstand. Practically everyone in the cafeteria knew that Violette was infatuated with Claudia, after all. She herself was the only one who knew that she’d lost those feelings.

Even if Claudia had sensed that she’d changed, that still didn’t mean he’d let down his guard yet. He was clearly still on high alert. He finally turned his gaze back toward the table. Violette looked down at her own plate to avoid any chance of eye contact.

 

***

 

Claudia’s heart pounded.

For some reason, he couldn’t help but remember her smile that day; that soft, gentle expression she’d given Yulan. He glanced up at her. She was smiling today as well—in fact, she smiled all the time. But that expression had been different—bigger, more natural. Her lips had seemed an even a deeper shade of red.

“Um…yes?” Violette asked.

“Oh, nothing,” Claudia stammered. He realized he’d been staring. Violette looked up, and their eyes met for just a moment before he quickly looked away again.

Milania sighed, and he and Violette both dug back into their meals. Claudia looked for a way to smooth things over.

“I was just thinking that your lunch is very small,” he said.

“Huh…?” said Violette.

Claudia and Milania had normal meals with soup and sides on their trays, but Violette’s lunch was just one scant sandwich, if you could even call it that. Even if teenage girls generally ate less than their male counterparts, it didn’t seem like nearly enough to feed a healthy teenager.

“It’s not strange for a girl to eat this little,” said Violette.

“I…understand,” he said. It was a flimsy pretense, and probably just caused more awkwardness—and many of the girls dieted, so maybe she was concerned about her figure. As a stranger and a boy, he shouldn’t have asked something so personal.

“This isn’t some sort of diet meal…I’m just leaving room for dessert,” she explained.

“You must enjoy sweets, Mademoiselle Violette,” said Milania.

“I do, although…people are often surprised by that. They tell me it doesn’t suit me,” said Violette. Milania looked surprised, but Violette just smiled like she was used to that response. It wasn’t the smile she’d given Yulan, of course; it was her usual, polite smile that didn’t quite look real.

They lapsed into silence, and Violette turned back to her meal. Her pale fingers delicately lifted one triangle of toasted bread, lettuce, and cheese to her lips and took a tiny bite. She chewed slowly, and Claudia caught the movement of her pale throat when she finally swallowed. When she raised the sandwich to her lips again for another bite, he caught a glimpse of white teeth and a crimson tongue.

His imagination went wild.

“It does suit you,” Claudia blurted.

Violette quickly swallowed, then replied, “Nnh…hmm…?”

“I think it does suit you. Liking cakes, chocolates, and all that.”

Violette had swallowed so quickly that her throat constricted, but it was too late to take the words back. Milania stopped eating in surprise.

“The way you eat is…very beautiful,” Claudia continued. He imagined her delicate hands cutting a slice of cake, her mouth taking a bite, the way her expression might light up when that red tongue tasted the sweetness. He couldn’t imagine something that suited her more.

Violette froze, her eyes wide like a deer in headlights.

“Ah…!” Claudia gasped as he realized what he just said.

Violette stared blankly as Claudia cursed himself for his clumsy remark. Her polite mask had dropped entirely, replaced with uncomprehending shock.

A spike of panic struck Claudia. Would she take his use of the word “beautiful” and run with it, rekindling her obsessive desire for him? Her infatuation with him had cooled, but it hadn’t been long—would this compliment undo that? Would she start pursuing him again, spurred on by one unthinking comment?

After a moment’s thought, he didn’t really think so. He didn’t fully grasp the change in Violette, but it seemed sincere. She felt so different he had trouble imagining her falling back into her old behavior.

But there was another terrible possibility.

What if Violette thought it was creepy? She couldn’t outwardly show her disgust to the prince, but he would hate even suspecting that she secretly harbored horrible feelings about him.

He couldn’t take it back now, and though he racked his brain for an excuse for his odd comment, he came up empty. His brow creased as he cursed himself for even attempting a compliment. Milania was the one who could rattle off some charming comment and have it land just right. Claudia’s poor imitation had just dug him deeper into a hole. He gave up, preparing to brush it aside.

“What does that even mean…?” said Violette. She covered her mouth to hide the laugh that welled up inside her. She seemed more confused than delighted, but her face did light up with some sort of smile. Not that unforgettable, natural smile, though.

Still, Claudia had made her laugh for real. His heart squeezed as Violette’s mask cracked just enough to let her real feelings shine through.

“Thank you,” Violette continued as a blush appeared on her cheeks. “I…appreciate the sentiment.”

Claudia pushed down the feelings that filled him up and threatened to boil over. A voice inside warned him that he couldn’t take much more. But before he could say a word, a shadow fell over their table.

“Hey Vio, can I sit heeere?”