Bonus Short Story and Column

The Feline Fiesta

“Now, let’s celebrate our reunion!”

“Cheers to that!” yelled all the cats in unison. They clinked their glasses together and chugged down the refreshing drinks. The cats were drinking the finest matatabi sake, infused with properties similar to catnip. Though, to be fair, calling them cats wasn’t quite accurate. They were Cat Siths, faefolk summoned by humans. Though they were varied in size and shape, they were actually all old friends from the same homeland.

“Hmhm... So you say that our mission is to protect this town?”

“Verily so, my furry friend! The knight order may patrol, but the underbelly of this town relies on our purrfect espionage! We must protect, serve, track, and trace!” Mr. Mittens spoke proudly in response to Athos’ question. He was truly proud of the authority he had earned in Brunhild and had even reached the point where knights listened to his orders.

In short, the cat knights were the other side of the knight order. They were the ones that handled the harder-to-find, dirtier work.

Athos nodded along before speaking up again, “I see, I see... This is quite a serious responsibility we have. We’ll strive to keep the peace here, then.”

Athos was a particularly intellectual Cat Sith. He was a master of strategy and had a focus on tactical thinking. He sought to manipulate all his assets like extensions of himself, and use them to achieve victory.

“Come now, fellows! This is no time to discuss work! I’m quite interested in the little honeys I’ve seen around town... A lot of pretty little cat ladies in these parts!” Aramis tipped his hat as he sipped at his drink, grinning as a sly cat would. Aramis was a little different from Athos in that, while he was intelligent, he was more of a charmer and a ladies’ man. He wasn’t serious or studious like Athos was and instead preferred to take things in stride. Of the four cat musketeers, he was surely the most adept at swordplay.

“Oh man, this stuff is great! The booze goes really good with the teriyaki chicken, aw man!” Porthos, the fattest cat at the table, greedily shoveled chicken into his mouth. The sheer power behind his motions was something to behold. In case it wasn’t clear, he was the physically strongest of the four cats, as well as the largest.

“I must say, I pawsed in shock and relief when you two appeared... I was pushing the limits of my strength alone, so I’m thankful for your help!”

Mr. Mittens laughed as he knocked back some more of his drink. Athos smiled back in turn, then shrugged. “Is the country really that unsafe? It seemed fine to me.”

“My friend, there are adventurers from all over the world gathering in this place. It’s only safe because of my efforts! If many people from many places come together, they might get into fights! It’s our job to end that.”

“Hmm? We’re taking out problems as they show up, then?” Aramis tilted his head. He folded his arms together and heaved a small, grumbling sigh.

“Well,” said Mr. Mittens, “We just need to keep an eye on the place, basically. No need to get involved unless it’s serious. Otherwise, we just need to inform the knights.”

“And strike down the enemy, right?”

“That’s right! We’ll strike them meowtta here!” Mr. Mittens raised his glass, clinking it against Porthos’. There were a lot of different adventurers that came into town, some respectful and some not. It was pretty difficult for Mr. Mittens to keep track of them all. Some of them treated the cats in town poorly, so they had to be dealt with appropriately as well.

“Thanks to you guys showing up, I can focus on being there for my most esteemed master’s mother. I really appreciate it.”

“Of course. One must be there for their friends!”

“Indeed, I’m quite happy to meet the beauties in town as well...”

“Gahaha! If all the food’s gonna be like this, it ain’t gonna be an issue at all!”

The four Cat Siths held their glasses up in the air at the same time.

“One for all, and all for one! Cheers to that!”

The cats partied on, sounds of their friendship echoing out into the city streets all through the night.

A Midsummer Night’s Dream

Hot... I know I’ve said it before, but summer is unreasonably hot. I just can’t handle the heat. I don’t like sweating or getting my skin getting all sticky.

The apartment I live in has air conditioning, but it doesn’t really cover my bedroom, so I tend to suffer many sleepless nights in the summer. But when I do manage to sleep, I have the strangest dreams. Apparently when you sleep, if you dream you enter a state called REM Sleep, which refers to the rapid eye movement your body undergoes. The dreamless phase is referred to as NREM Sleep, too. When you go to sleep you’re in NREM Sleep for about an hour, and then your state switches to REM sleep. From what I understand, if you wake up during REM Sleep, you’ll have vague memories of your dreams, and that’s what happened to me.

My sleep keeps getting disturbed because of the heat, so I keep having frequent dreams, and I keep remembering all of them. The contents of the dreams have often been odd, too.

In one of my dreams, I was driving a car. I was following all the rules, staying within the speed limit, and staying on the road properly. But then I ended up going a little wild and taking the car off-road before speeding up. The reason this was weird to me was because I didn’t even have a driver’s license. I woke up and remembered being a bit confused because I briefly thought I actually had a license, then remembered I was driving a foreign car... The dream was really vivid, though.

But yeah, that’s the kind of dreams I keep having. I was aware that speeding was against the law, but I didn’t seem to care about being caught. Plus, the car didn’t even belong to me, I remember that I stole it... Or maybe I hadn’t... At the very least, I know it wasn’t mine. I just kept driving while going faster and faster.

My heart was racing, even though it was just a dream. And that wasn’t all, either. There were people chasing me as I drove. There were some people in their cars, and some people just running on their feet. I remembered being panicked as I saw the people. Were they friends? Foes? I remember glancing to the side, thinking maybe they’re friends... But then some guys behind me on bikes started glaring and jeering at me.

At that moment, I started to fear for my life. Luckily, I woke up. And whenever I wake up from strange dreams, I’m drenched in sweat, which makes me feel more exhausted than ever.

That’s why I just set up a futon and putting it in the living room, since that part’s properly air-conditioned. I’m starting to feel queasy and sleepy as I write this. Man, I really hate the summer heat... But I’m hoping by the time this column comes out, it’ll be a lot cooler.