Bonus Short Stories

A Mascot and His Puns

Gideon, City of Duels

It was the first day of the Love-Duel Festival.

King of Destruction, Shu Starling, King of Beasts, Behemot, and Behemot’s Superior Embryo, Leviathan, were walking to the second arena to see a certain event.

Behemot was comfortably seated in Leviathan’s hands, while Shu was right next to them.

Naturally, this trio was attracting a lot of attention.

After all, it was a group of a single fine lady and two mascot-like creatures.

Far too often have they been approached by families and couples wanting to take a picture with them.

“Sure thingy. Stay in line, though. Don’t be overbearing.”

Shu didn’t even seem to mind them and gladly agreed, making him hardly different from some mascot in an amusement park.

“...Tch.”

Leviathan was maintaining a cool expression, but the blood vessel on her forehead made it clear that appearance betrayed.

This was mostly due to all the couples asking her if she could take the photos.

They actually thought that she was just a woman who spent this festival doing nothing but taking group shots of the couples and the bear.

This group happened because her Master, Behemot, wished for it, but she was losing patience every time she was asked to take a photo.

Once the last of the many couples left with their shots, Leviathan spoke to Shu, not hiding a bit of her hostility and murderous intent.

“Why do you just let them take photos?”

“Hmm... I’m a guy in a costume, so it’s be beary bad if I was cold to people.”

“You were the same when we first met. Why do you insist on being approachable?”

Indeed, he had been the same back when Leviathan had come to take Behemot from him shortly before The Clash of the Superiors began.

“’Tis the burden of all those in animal costumes.”

“About that... I understand that you use the costume to hide your face, but there’s no reason for you to use puns, is there?”

Shu Starling was a Superior.

Leviathan knew that he was wearing a costume to hide himself.

However, there was no good reason for him to act like a friendly and quirky bear character that children would love.

Leviathan had wondered about this for a while, just like she had wondered why he was standing out so much despite wanting to hide his face.

“...”

Shu said nothing in response, but it didn’t seem that he didn’t want to answer.

In fact, it seemed as if she’d pointed out something he hadn’t realized himself.

“...You’re joking, aren’t you?” Leviathan asked as she understood what his silence implied.

“...Nope. I’m just not conscious of it. I just got my paws on a costume, put it on, and before I knew it, I was speaking with puns.”

He did have control over his puns and dropped them whenever they weren’t needed, but the very first pun he used in a costume just came naturally to him.

It might’ve been something he’d picked up in his child actor years — “People in animal costumes have to talk funny” or something along those lines.

“Why not stop using them?” Leviathan asked.

“I won’t. It’s just how I am. You’ll have to bear with it!”

“...I see.”

“Why not join me, Behemot? Add some flavor to your speech.”

“’porcupine?’ tl;dr,” Behemot responded, saying that it was hard to craft puns around the type of animal she was.

“...”

During that exchange, Leviathan swore to herself that she would most definitely launch a surprise attack on Shu for saying something stupid to her Master.

The End

The Culinary Troubles of the Royalty and Nobility (Hell’s Kitchen)

Prism Rider, Ray Starling

The path between Altea and Gideon wasn’t exactly short.

Figaro, Xunyu, and others who could travel at supersonic speeds could go to one city and back within a day like it was nothing, but most people weren’t capable of that. It took a while for me even if I rode Silver at maximum speed, and back when Rook, Marie, and I rode to Gideon as a party, it took us a whole day in spite of the fact that our dragon carriage was dragged by Marilyn — a demi-dragon.

The carriage we were riding now was being pulled by Liliana’s Second Model Prism Steed — SMPS. It was faster than Marilyn and couldn’t grow tired, but this trip would take time some in spite of that.

Of course, we had to eat on the road a couple times.

Whenever the time came, we set the table and reached into a preserving-type inventory to take out food that was as good as though just done.

“I suppose this is in-flight food, except on land,” Nemesis said, somewhat excited.

Before I dug in, I was a bit worried if Canglong, being the third prince of Huang He, would be fine with such meals, but it didn’t seem like he had a problem.

Now that I thought about it, he had come here by dragon carriage all the way from his empire in the far-east. He was probably used to such meals by now.

We also had a princess here, but I had no such worries about Azurite to begin with. Knowing that she was the type who didn’t mind putting on a mask and investigating ancient ruins by herself, I knew that it wouldn’t bother her.

“Do you need medicine?” B3 asked.

“No,” Azurite replied.

This exchange sparked my curiosity.

“Medicine?”

“I heard that Altarian nobility dine with Elixirs and High Holy Water at the ready.”

“There are those that do. I, however, do not.”

“...Why would you have anti-debuff potions at dinner?” I asked.

“To be prepared in case their food is poisoned.”

Now that she mentioned it, that did seem like a reasonable occupational hazard to royalty and nobility alike.

“Poisoning explains the Elixirs, but why the High Holy water?”

“Because in some situations, the food might have curse catalysts instead of poison.”

“Now that’s just scary... But why aren’t they using tasters instead?”

“Because there was a time when it was popular among poisoners to use skills that made it so that the food only became poisonous once tested.”

...Well, Dendro has no shortage of status effect magic, I thought.

“Apparently, poisons and curses that kill people instantly don’t even give them time to drink, so they always equip Brooches, too,” B3 added. “High Hexers can also use instakill magic, so they might even need some appropriate accessories.”

“I’m guessing that these anti-assassination countermeasures are a result of people learning from history...”

Trying to imagine what kind of incidents had happened before these countermeasures were known made me shudder.

“For something more exotic...” Azurite said. “There were cases of people mixing inventories smaller than even rings into their target’s food, letting their stomach acid melt and destroy them open. The items would be released inside the body, instantly making the target burst and die.”

“...Man, these assassins scare me.”

“And that is why there are many nobles who always have medicine and accessories on them.”

“I see... But why aren’t you doing the same?” I asked.

“I have accessories on, but there’s no need for me to prepare any medicine.”

“No need?”

“My stats are high, so I would make it in time even if I don’t have any medicine prepared. My resistances are good, too, and the kind of poison that would instantly kill the average person instantly would take about an hour to kill me.”

“...”

Azurite’s casual words had reminded me and B3 that the most powerful beings in Dendro had physical prowess that put them far above your average means of assassination.

The End