Back at The Sex Marionette, three Meidris greeted Stunk and the others at the door. They weren’t actually her, of course. They were the golems whom Kanchal had crafted last time. When they had soul cores inside them, they gained consciousness and started moving.

“These dolls are still here, I see.”

The Meidris each gave Stunk’s question an earnest reply.

“The golems you create become available as a default option.”

“Customers who aren’t able to create a golem themselves may choose from the default options.”

“The default golems can be recustomized to a patron’s preferences.”

Stunk sighed to himself and folded his arms across his chest as he looked at the Meidris.

“So they’ve all been tweaked a bit, huh?”

Because of Kanchal’s otherworldly crafting ability, the Meidri golems initially bore a striking resemblance to the real Meidri.

However, the three in front of them now had clear contrasts from the original.

One of them was a cat hybrid. Another was a centaur. And the last had breasts so big, they were practically hitting the floor.

It was obvious at a glance that they’d each been customized by patrons with rather specific tastes.

“Ugh, seriously…? If Meidri sees them, we’re so dead.”

The dog hybrid Brooz was the most offended. He was filling in for Kanchal and was the only one who hadn’t actually experienced The Sex Marionette.

“Hold up, Brooz. If you had the chance to bang a sexy waitress you had never met before, wouldn’t you jump at the opportunity?”

“You’re not gonna make me an accomplice, Stunk.”

“Shit.”

The centaur Meidri coughed audibly, saying, “The golem who was taken from here was the fourth one of us. She was the one who previously had a session with the human in your party.”

“And how much did the new customer change?”

“She was customized to be a dark-skinned lamia with horns.”

“I see, I see. Why stick with a simple winged woman when you’ve got Meidri the dream girl as a base?”

“I’m not kidding, y’know. She really will kill us.”

According to the Meidri dolls, the incident occurred during business hours one week ago. Six men entered the establishment, and three of them began to craft their own girls. Just then, a smoke screen suddenly erupted in the area containing the default golems.

As the staff rushed to open the windows for ventilation, they realized that one of the golems had disappeared.

“And that was the dark-skinned lamia with horns?”

The Meidris all nodded in agreement.

“One of the customers who had been putting together a golem also disappeared.”

“Yes, the customer was a sickly lamia.”

“He was gaunt and had dark circles around his eyes, and his tail was in bad shape.”

It seemed like the suspect was in poor health.

“Hmm, interesting…”

Zel scratched the tip of one of his pointed ears as thoughts flooded his mind.

“The weight of one of these golems is about the same as that of a living person, right?”

“Yes, they are approximately the same.”

“That means that a standard bipedal golem would be pretty heavy, and she was a lamia, so the weight of the tail had to be factored in. A lamia in poor health wouldn’t be able to quickly take her out of here without being noticed.”

Stunk posed a query. “Couldn’t the culprit have used magic to pull it off?”

“This establishment has a magic-detection unit installed.”

“There was no detection of unnatural magic activity.”

“The smoke screen was also created from a chemical compound, from what we could tell.”

This meant there was no possibility of magic having been used to boost one’s strength or provide a means of teleportation. It was also unlikely that the suspect made themself temporarily invisible, staying in place until he saw an opening to escape.

Crim raised their hand timidly and asked, “Is it possible that the golem got up and escaped on her own?”

“It is impossible for a golem to leave of their own volition.”

“Moving the body is only possible by inserting a core.”

“The core contains our individual identities.”

For golems, their bodies were nothing more than vessels. Their consciousness was in their cores, and their pay was also given to their cores. It was safe to say their bodies were nothing more than costumes that they used interchangeably.

“Is it possible that this particular Meidri’s core was in her at the time, and she was able to escape?”

“The number of cores that were active that day did not decrease. It is not possible that she escaped with her body.”

“Okay, well, what about the cores that weren’t active that day?” said Stunk.

“We questioned the succubus girls employed at this establishment immediately on the same day, but all of them had sound alibis.”

“To be honest, we are at a loss.”

“She was a very popular golem among the default options.”

Stunk and company asked further detailed questions and did a sweep of the scene, but they didn’t uncover any hard leads, aside from a pair of wings that were a part of the original Meidri golem; they had been cast off when she was made into a lamia.

“Brooz, we’re counting on you.”

“You got it.”

Brooz pointed his canine snout at the wings, took in their scent, and creased his brow.

“…There are a number of male scents present on these wings, including yours, Stunk.”

“Ugh, spare me those details, Brooz.”

“The many different scents are making it tough to find a lead, but…I think I detect the primary scent pointing far off in that direction…maybe.”

The burly dog hybrid gestured outside the window, and the crew began walking in that general direction. Once outside, they passed through a number of back alleys and questioned bystanders along the way, but they didn’t find any information in terms of witnesses.

“They must have at least used magic to mask their appearance. The detection unit becomes totally irrelevant once they make it outside anyway.”

The accuracy of Zel’s inference aside, the fact that they had zero leads wasn’t changing. As they came to the edge of town, Brooz threw up his hands.

“Going any farther will be no use.”

“I guess that means it’s a guarantee that the suspect managed to skip town.”

“Should we consult a spirit for good measure? I doubt they’ll recall any specific physical features, though…”

The three adult males were racking their brains at the current impasse when Crim spoke up.

“Umm, wasn’t this the way to the predatory-birds place?”

“Why, Crim? Are you in the mood for another midair sex sesh so you can rain your manna from the heavens?”

“No, that’s not it! I saw a girl who looked a lot like Meidri that day…and yeah! She had dark skin!”

Come to think of it, Crim told the same story back at Ye Pubbe.

It sounded almost too good to be true, but perhaps the group’s luck was a blessing gained from their close proximity to a divine being.

“Hmm, well, maybe we should head back that way! To the mountains that reek of Crim’s cum!”

“I bet angel jizz has divine properties.”

“Mountains rife with the smell of semen… That’s gross… No thanks!”

“Why are you all suddenly ganging up on me?”

Crim’s reactions only served to add fuel to the group’s sadistic fire, but the angel didn’t seem to notice that one bit.

When they entered the mountains surrounding Minerva, Brooz’s nose got to work again. Man-made scents were particularly conspicuous in places abundant with nature, he noted as he suddenly furrowed his brow in a scowl.

“The scent of Crim is…overwhelming.”

“G-grrr…! I’m so sorry! Everything is all my fault! I read you loud and clear!”

“Chin up, Crim. Is this about where you saw the dark-skinned Meidri?”

“Huh, well, I wonder! I think it was around here, but thanks to my scent, I guess all our leads have been overridden, hmm? I’m sooo sorry!”

The angelic youth was sulking heavily now.

I guess we’ll have to treat Crim to a really nice succu-joint in the near future to cheer ’im up.

Stunk thought as he investigated the animal trail.

“Hey, Zel, doesn’t the way the grass is displaced down here look like the tracks of a big snake?”

“Ohh, I think you’re right.”

The endorsement of an elf, a woodland species, was more than trustworthy. Having gained a legitimate lead, the party marched forward without hesitation—that is, until they came to a mountain stream blocking their path.

“Woof, this is no good. The scent has completely trailed off.”

The river was about as wide as three Stunks laid end to end, and the current was as swift as the river was deep. Trying to cross without a bridge would earn you a one-way ticket to drown town.

“If this was a thoroughly planned escape route, the perp may have had a boat ready.”

“And we’re positive that the trail comes out this far? Let’s consult the spirit of the river.”

Zel plunged his hand into the water and began chanting to himself in a quiet, incomprehensible mumble. Some people say elves have particularly long ears to listen to the voices of unseen spirits.

“Hmm, hmm, I see… It seems that a large piece of timber may have floated by here. However, I can’t be certain of whether it was yesterday or a couple of years ago.”

“That water spirit sounds like a bit of an airhead…”

“Spirits inhabiting running waters leave everything to the ebb and flow of that area. It could just be a piece of driftwood, but we might as well investigate, right?”

“It sure beats standing here like a bunch of logs. And speaking of logs—”

“Whatever you’re about to say, just don’t.”

“My bad, force of habit.”

The crew followed the river down the mountain. The path included a number of signposts and was a breeze to keep up with. Even if they came to a dead end, all they needed to do was head back to the river. Without any signposts, getting lost in the mountains would cause rapid depletion of strength and energy. That said, with an elf along who could speak to spirits, they would be able to avoid the direst circumstances, at least.

Before long, the river led to the base of the mountain and flowed into the castle wall of the town nearest them.

“This is a naval town, for sure. Following that waterway would lead us to the Great River, so if we decide to go through with this, we’re in for a rough ride.”

“Stunk, we’re not just talking about a rough ride. There are checkpoints at the entrance and exit. It’s nearly nightfall, so the checks will be even more rigorous than usual. We might as well assume we’ll be stopped dead in our tracks until tomorrow.”

“Well, let’s explore our options for tonight. I’m not so desperate that I need to take the path along the great river… At least, I hope not.”

The sky had already grown dark. The crew swung around to the main entrance and passed through the checkpoint to enter the town. Soft candlelight filtered toward them from the homes of the residential district. In the mercantile district, there were magical lights burning from the eaves of the establishments, depending on their level of prosperity or business classification. Yet the most noticeably bright lights came from beyond the mercantile district.

“If we’re canvassing at this hour, we better head for the pub or red-light joints.”

“That’s true, Stunk. To be blunt, we’re looking for a suspect related to a succu-girl, after all!”

“Ugh, you guys just want to hit up a succu-joint, don’t you…?”

“Um…yeah? We’re already a step behind as it is…”

Brooz was in disbelief, and Crim chimed in, agreeing with half-lidded eyes.

“Certainly, collecting information comes first. But really, information has a price, right? In that case, we could pay for some companionship and then investigate while we chat with the girl.”

“And what will you do if you can’t get any information at the first place? My wallet is too thin to go on a succu-joint crawl.”

“In that case, we’ll just resort to old-fashioned canvassing at a pub. Let’s go!”

Crim was unconvinced, but Stunk was bent on forcing the issue. The street lined with succubus joints at the edge of town was a path rife with blossoming potential. The crystals serving as lights dangled from the eaves and burned brightly to entice the men sauntering there, and the shop signs on display offered every variety of play imaginable.

BURSTING WITH YOUTHFUL ABUNDANCE! HUMANS ALWAYS WELCOME!—THE ELVEN INN NO. 2

WE’LL KEEP YOU PURRING THROUGH THE NIGHT —DANGEROUS KITTY CATS

GET HARD AS A ROCK—THE GORGON’S GARDEN

HOW DO YOU LIKE YOUR EGGS? FRIED OR FERTILIZED?—THE EGG-LAYING FOUNTAIN

NICE TO MEAT YOU! OUR GIRLS ARE RIPPED!—OGRE-ANIC BUXOM BEAUTIES

ONE LOOK, AND YOU’RE HOOKED!—THE WINDING SHANTY

Some of the taglines didn’t make any sense, but it wasn’t a bad assortment overall.

“The elf joint is an obvious winner, but catgirls are always nice, too.”

“I’m gonna pass on the elves. If a granny older than my mom showed up, I’d probably cry. I’m actually interested in the gorgon girls. I guess I’ll need to boost my resistance to petrification before I go in…?”

“Hmm…ogres… I like ’em thick, and muscles are no problem, but I quickly get bored with girls who don’t have much fur…”

Brooz was hemming and hawing about where to go, in the end. Crim was the only one who didn’t seem to care at all. However, they were looking down a different back alley toward another succubus-joint sign.

“Umm…what do you guys think that place is?”

The crew followed Crim’s pointed finger with their eyes.

“Living-weapon and magical-organism specialty shop—Love Bringer.”

The joint’s sign was cleaner than the rest and emblazoned with imagery of swords and armor.

“Whoa…a joint that specializes in living weapons… That’s super rare.”

Zel was awestruck and nearly pitched forward.

“Living weapons…? Like swords and armor that can move and speak? How do you make that sexy?”

“Sounds like a rock-hard experience, and not in the good way…”

“If they’re man-made constructs, they better look as cute as the marionette golems…”

The remaining three had complicated, yet not strictly negative reactions. However, Zel continued to react calmly as he spoke rapidly.

“To be honest, fetishes are fetishes. If you asked me if I’d get a boner from a sword or a piece of armor, I’d say not a chance. You’d have to be some sort of blacksmith fetishist of a dwarf for that. But high-level living weapons can materialize into another body, and if the shop also has magical organisms, then it’s not out of the question that they have something in the female form. Above all else, if we write a review of such a rare joint, the copies will sell like hotcakes, right?”

“You’re really getting into this, Zel.”

“And look at the prices! They’re actually lower than usual, too.”

Looking at the price list on the sign, the crew could see that it was about average for a low-priced succubus joint.

“If it’s rare and cheap, that smells like trouble to me…”

“Living weapons can be sourced with a low labor cost. They don’t even need to eat. What do you think?”

“If you’re going to go on about it that much, I have no qualms about tagging along…”

“I’ll follow you guys into that lake of poison…”

There were two types of incentive to visit new succubus joints: sexual appetite and curiosity.

In concept, they should both exist in perfect proportion, but in this case, the latter was unrivaled.

“Well, I guess you’ll never know unless you try.”

A man proudly swinging his sword was certainly a curious beast. Just this once, Stunk was able to lend a critical eye to his habits and reflect upon them…barely.

The lighting inside the shop was dim, and it wasn’t a moody, somber color on purpose. The source of the light was a lone candle. The orange glow illuminated a counter lined with weapons, defensive armaments, and more. They weren’t really lined up, either—more like stacked haphazardly.

“If anything, this place looks more like a shoddy gravedigger’s hovel.”

The crew might have been a bit rash. Stunk was regretting the decision already. Brooz and Crim narrowed their eyes, as if to say, Just what I thought. Even Zel was looking around at the items indignantly.

“Well, I can definitely sense magical power coming off all the items…”

Hearing Zel’s disappointed voice, the crew could tell that these weren’t particularly special magic items. Everyone started to anticipate this place being a total bust, with none of them going home satisfied.

“Ke-ke-ke—”

A rasping croak that sounded like it was forced out of a gecko reverberated throughout the small room. It came from past the counter that was heaped with magic items. The figure had a hood draped down over their eyes, and the corners of their mouth were turned up.

The voice and appearance of this figure suddenly appearing in this dim location was displeasing, to say the least. Crim was visibly creeped out, and their shoulders shivered.

Stunk assumed the figure was a woman from the tone of their voice and managed to force a smile as he asked, “Hey, are you the receptionist?”

The woman twisted the corners of her mouth even further and brought a sheathed sword out from her side.

“Welcome, valued customers! Might I recommend this intelligent blade, Speakalibur? Just listen to its lovely voice.”

“Okay then, I’ll just put all four of you down for a group session with Speakalibur. Right this way, ke-ke-ke—”

“Hang on a sec! You have to let us choose first!”

The woman was speaking at a terrifyingly self-absorbed pace. Her word vomit ignored Stunk’s attempt to call her out and washed over the four of them again.

“Oh, I see you are quite the aficionado. I get it, I get it. In that case, the living weapon has no need to speak, yes? Shut up, shut up, stupid inorganic matter. In that case, how about this one here called Mutecalibur Kids’ Size! What do you say?”

“That’s…not even a living weapon. It’s just a dagger that you cast magic on to sharpen its blade, isn’t it?”

“You there, elf customer, you seem to have quite the discerning eye. Yes, that was something of a light joke; please look this way for something special. Ta-daa! This looks like a normal helmet, but once you put it on, you can never take it off, and you’ll hear an ominous voice in your ears that’ll say things like Kill, kill, kill, I crave blood, rip them limb from limb!”

“Holy—! Exorcise that thing! Right now!”

Zel forgot his easygoing, light smile and went red with rage. This was quite unlike the aloof elf who thoroughly enjoyed practical jokes. Perhaps he was feeling guilty at having brought his companions to such a depraved shop.

“Um…at the very least, do you have something more geared toward beginners…? Something that at least looks human, although perhaps imperfect, or something with a cute face…”

“Ohh, is that what you’re into? Because you’re so cute, you’re looking for something cute to play with? Well, aren’t you just adorable, you angel, you! Oh my, a genuine angel! You’re so, so, so, so rare! Color me surprised! Wow, you really caught me off guard. Okay then, if you’re into something with a cute face, then how about this medushield…?”

“A shield…with a woman’s face on it… She is beautiful, but…”

“When she opens her eyes, her petrifying gaze will make you harder than ever before! But you’re an angel, so you must have some resistances! I know you do! Okay then, it’s decided. Off with the two of you!”

“Er, umm, could you not push me? Oof, umm, gwahh…!”

Crim was pushed from behind and forced into a playroom with the shield. The remaining three crew members collectively swallowed the lumps in their throats.

“This is bad, Zel… I kinda wanna leave while we still can, but I also don’t wanna ditch Crim.”

“I’m sorry, everyone. This is on me. I’ll cover the whole tab…”

“Well, shit, there’s gotta be something worthwhile in this place, and I’m gonna find it.”

The three men fell silent and rummaged through the pile of items. If they could uncover something like a windup fairy doll, they’d spring for it in a heartbeat.

“Oh wow, a magi-hole.”

“Hey, nice find, Brooz. You lucked out.”

“But it smells…off, like it was covered up hastily with cologne… Ugh, gross, it’s moldy inside!”

“Ew, toss it, Brooz! Obviously, that thing’s never been washed!”

The men were in hell. If Crim hadn’t been trapped, they would have run for their lives. But with the situation being what it was, they remained steadfast in their quest to find something worthwhile.

“…Okay. I’m going with this.”

Brooz was holding on to a wooden carved bear. When he pulled on the salmon caught in its jaws, the bear roared loudly. The expression on the canine beastman’s face was a void of darkness.

“Sorry, Stunk, I’m gonna choose now, too.”

Zel tapped a set of full plate armor hanging from the wall on one of its pauldrons, and the entire set quivered.

“I definitely chose something that was at least comparably human-esque… If you want to say that’s cowardly, then say it, but I am so done with this mountain of garbage…”

“I don’t really mind, to be honest…”

Stunk couldn’t even jab Zel for setting the bar unsettlingly low. Zel was staring off into space and looked lifeless, like he was going to disappear into the ether at any moment. Brooz looked mostly the same.

I refuse to give up… I will find an option that doesn’t leave me with regret. I swear on the pride of my sword.

When the mile-a-minute receptionist returned, Zel and Brooz were both whisked away to their playrooms.

Stunk was left behind to find something that the sword between his legs would respond to. An inordinate amount of time passed.

“Excuse me, valued customer. We do have a man-made chimera for special occasions, but it’s currently under maintenance.”

“If you have a chimera, don’t you have anything else that’s at least partway organic? And cute?”

“We do have an acid hell-slime that melts anything the second it makes contact.”

“Are you trying to kill me?”

“Well, it’s not slimes, but we also have a wealth of different potions and—Oh yes, of course! We have this one thing… Please hold tight for a second, valued customer; we have something epically special for you!”

The receptionist woman dug through a drawer behind her and took out a small glass bottle glowing a faint blue.

“This is a magic potion that will turn the sword between your legs into a real sword!”

“Hmm… So it’ll turn my cock into an actual sword, huh?”

“I was a chief apprentice of the grand wizard Demia in the Magic City. It’s true; please believe me! Really! I would never ever tell a lie, okay? And I made a very, very limited amount of this here potion. One sip, and your member will become a genuine steel blade! Yes, it’s true, dear customer! Ke-ke-ke-ke-ke-ke.”

“I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t interested…”

For some reason, Stunk hadn’t realized that like his compatriots, the bar had been set extremely low for him. It was practically on the floor.

“This potion will grant you the ability to make female weapons scream and squeal in ecstasy. Your manly, magic sword will be stronger than ever before! Okay, drink it down. All at once now!”

“Well, in that case, here we go—Gulp.”

“Oh wow, you were a lot easier to convince than I thought you’d be. That’s hilarious, ke-ke.”

Stunk swallowed the potion in the heat of the moment, but if it was really a dangerous concoction, he could just have Zel cure him with magic later.

The bittersweet liquid passed through Stunk’s esophagus, and when it hit his stomach, the bitterness turned to heat and dropped down inside his body. Its final destination was his crotch, the place where his man sword dangled.

“Oh…? Ah…? Uh…?”

The heat rapidly expanded, and in a flash of purple lightning, a raging red-black monstrosity surged forth from Stunk’s pants, ripping them in half.

“Wh-whoa! My man sword really became a magic sword!”

The blade soared to Stunk’s eye level and was unmistakably a double-edged sword. It was a large, brutish blade that even Crim’s couldn’t hope to compare to.

“Okay, please enter this room so that you may use your newly improved sword to your heart’s content.”

“O-okay! I’m gonna make the best of this, I swear it!”

Stunk gulped audibly. He knew there was something seriously messed up with his current situation, but he couldn’t contain his excitement. If he didn’t reach climax, he feared that his crotch would be like this forever.

His playroom looked like a disheveled warehouse at first glance. The reception area was a mess, but this place didn’t even have any shelves. There were a number of wooden boxes with random crap stuffed into them, but it was all rubbish here, too.

“You can use anything you find here to have a good time, okay? Ke-ke-ke.”

“Um…thanks, I think.”

“Also, please accept this sheath as a bonus. It’s not an actual living weapon, but it will expand and contract to a certain extent, and it’s a really high-quality item that you can store your weapon in, ke-ke-ke-ke-ke-ke-ke.”

The door closed, and Stunk stood alone. The weight of the decision he’d made on a whim was starting to bear down on him.

“Okay then…let’s get to it.”

Stunk held the sheath he was given in his hands. It was a largely unadorned iron item, and quite heavy, besides. When he put the tip of his magic sword toward the opening of the sheath, a rigid sound resonated.

“Heh-heh, that was a pretty raunchy sound…right?”

Stunk tried to psych himself up by saying something dirty, but in truth, he just felt empty inside.

Ugh, I need to stop hesitating. There’s a whole new world waiting for me!

Stunk poured all his faith into his groin and thrust his hips forward.

Gashan—!

“Damn, it went in all the way to the hilt! You dirty sheath, you! I’m in deep, so there’s no need to adjust for your sake—I’m gonna fuck your brains out! Take this!”

Gashan—! Gashan—! Gashan—!

Gashan—! Gashancha! Gasssha—!

Gashan—! Gashan—!

Gashaaannssh—

“Oh shit, I slipped out. This thing is slippery as hell, and even getting it in there is a battle. Isn’t that right, you filthy thing? How do you like that? Say something, will ya?”

Stunk rubbed his sword against the sheath’s opening slowly, back and forth.

“How about it? You’re dying for me to get back inside, aren’t you? You really want it hard, right? I already know; my sword can read your mind. Take this, ughh, let’s go, I’m gonna drill you so deep…!!”

Gashan—!

Stunk jerked his hips in a single violent burst and thrust himself all the way into the sheath. It was such a perfect size; it was as if he’d custom-ordered it.

It was so perfectly sized, in fact, that Stunk didn’t feel an ounce of friction whatsoever. For that matter, because the magic sword possessed no nerve endings, Stunk couldn’t feel anything at all.

“What the hell am I doiiiiiiing?!”

Stunk threw the sheath against the wall with all his might and began to sob, tears soaking his scraggly beard.

He wept until the tears fell from his chin to the floor.

And then, as always, a new review appeared on the far wall of Ye Pubbe.

Infuriated, the crew had written their reviews immediately after entering the pub. There was no way they’d avoid reviewing this place, after all. They moved their pens more fluidly when they were grumbling about a toxic, fraudulent joint than when complimenting a fine establishment.

The companions poured all their anger, hatred, and anguish onto the page.

“All right, let’s drink, let’s drink! Time to drink and forget!”

“I’ll pick up the tab here, too… Sorry again, everyone.”

“Don’t beat yourself up over it. It’s not like I made any efforts to put a stop to it.”

“Ugh… No… No… Just no…”

Crim was still racked with post-traumatic complications. They had planned to gather information on the dark-skinned Meidri here, but at present, they were struggling. The risk of them becoming belligerent when canvassing was quite high.

The next day. They would work hard the next day. That’s right, anything that could be done today could also be done the next day. If they got up nice and early, then surely they’d get results.

The crew ate and drank, then drowned their sorrows. When they were done, they slept at the inn on the second floor of the pub. Because they’d been ripped off earlier that day, they rented a cheap, large room and slept side by side.

Someone was snoring like a banshee, but Stunk was drunk as a skunk and fell asleep immediately.

* * *

Stunk was dreaming. Directly ahead, he saw himself standing. He was naked, with a steel sword sprouting from his crotch.

“Heh-heh-heh… This is the Stunk you wanted, you bastard…!”

“Ugh, I get that this is a dream, but why am I bad-mouthing myself…?”

“You were so proud of your junk, weren’t you? Its length, girth, rigidity, shape… And you can last for a long time and cum as often as you want, right? Yet your pride was quickly shattered to smithereens, you idiot!”

“What else was I supposed to do? It was slim pickings, and I definitely wasn’t gonna get it on with an ogre.”

“We’re not talking about ogres right now! How did it feel when you lost to that effeminate angel?”

“I laughed.”

“Yeah, well, you should. Anyone would laugh. But that’s not what I’m talking about!”

“To answer your question, I’m pissed off that Crim’s bigger than me, but size isn’t everything. Remember how Crim looked when you went to the fairy specialty shop and no one could take on that hog? Remember Crim’s sad face?”

“Yep, still hilarious.”

“Right? You felt kinda bad, but it was funny, wasn’t it? If you don’t have any chemistry or technique, you won’t get far.”

“Man, I’m definitely losing to Kanchal in terms of technique, though.”

“But you beat him in size eleven times outta ten. And there’s always high points and low points to everything. Ugh, was I always this difficult?”

“But if I could improve my technique, you know I would—Wait, you aren’t actually me, are you? I’ll make up your mind for you. Don’t you want to have a more intense dream, where you scream at the sky with primal rage or something?”

“Don’t start talking like that asura. How can I get into the mood when my cock is a magic sword? Moron.”

“Listen… With your cock like that, your succu-joint days are pretty much over. The only thing you can use that sword for is…literal sword stuff. What sexy options could you possibly have left…?”

Stunk wilted and began sobbing out loud.

“I see… You are me, after all.”

The Stunk with the normal crotch nodded deeply.

“Yeah, of course I am… This is your dream, isn’t it?”

“If I couldn’t fool around with succu-girls ever again, I might be consumed by a battle-crazed bloodlust, just like that asura…”

“You’re a psychotic swordsman hell-bent on swinging the blade between your legs until you drop dead…”

“I hate this… What even is this dream…?”

Now both Stunks were on the brink of tears.

“Listen up, me… I have to say this for the record, but this isn’t just somebody else’s problem.”

“Yeah, this is my dream, and if it happened to come true, I’d be pissed.”

“It’s not a matter of ‘if.’ Look again.”

“Wha—?”

When Stunk looked down at this groin, his skin became riddled with goose bumps. A black-and-red sword was hanging between his legs.

This wasn’t a metaphor. A genuine, sinister, weighty blade was stretching down heavily from his crotch, sharp as a razor.

Stunk’s proud member had actually turned into a sword.

“My boyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy!”

Stunk flew out of bed. His breaths were ragged, he was covered in sweat, and he felt like shit.

Sunlight was filtering through the window of the room he’d been sleeping in.

“A dream… I knew it was a dream, but my god, that was awful…”

Stunk sighed as he realized something. Several pairs of eyes were on him. Aside from Zel, Brooz, and Crim, other patrons of the inn were collectively surrounding Stunk in a circle.

“What the hell, you guys…? Why are you all crowding around me? Is this some weird sort of ritual?”

“Listen, Stunk. Look down and don’t freak out.”

“I just woke up, and I can barely see a damn thing…”

Stunk blinked the sleep from his eyes and rubbed them. Everyone surrounding him in the circle had their index fingers raised, and they were pointing at Stunk. To be more specific, they were pointing at his crotch.

There was a red-black beam shining betwixt. He had paid to have his pants mended, but a sinister blade had once again torn them asunder. The unmistakable magic sword had returned.

“Nooooooooo! My boyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy!”

Stunk’s anguished cry pierced the morning air.

The receptionist at Love Bringer yelped with glee when she saw Stunk’s crotch.

“Wow! This is truly incredible, valued customer! Your massive member is now the envy of men everywhere! My goodness, it’s amazing! It’s so cool! You sure are one lucky guy!”

“Yeah, I can’t deny it’s cool, but you need to fix this right now! My elf friend couldn’t dispel the effect, so I’m in a load of trouble here, got it?”

Stunk raised his magic sword with a single flex of his thighs and put it on display. But the receptionist woman wasn’t scared at all. She moved closer to it, her face full of wonder.

“Hmm, you can ask me to fix it all you want, but if making a potion doesn’t work, then what am I supposed to do about it? Maybe you should just take it as a bonus in life.”

“There’s no goddamn way! It took everything outta me just to walk here!”

Stunk managed to hide himself on the way from the inn by wrapping his magic sword in cloth and keeping his cloak shut tightly. Even then, it peeked out slightly and slapped against his leg the whole walk. It was a huge pain in the ass.

Stunk couldn’t embark on any new adventures in this sorry state.

“Oh, right, you were the chief apprentice of a grand wizard, right?”

Zel put his elbow on the counter.

“Yes, that’s right. And I, the humble Pyugmarie, was an outstanding, dedicated apprentice, so I made sure to absorb every last drop of knowledge from my master, and that’s no exaggeration!”

“Then returning human flesh to its normal state after a set amount of time should have been a cakewalk for the grand wizard, right?”

“Yes, that would have been simple for my beloved master, and for me, her beloved apprentice, doing so is as simple as can be.”

“In that case, you better work on concocting a potion ASAP if you ever want to see her again.”

“That’s a huge pain in my ass, but I guess I have no choice. Fine, fine, fine, I’ll do it. Yeah, that’s all you really want anyway, right? God, what a drag.”

She kept flapping her lips at mach speed, but she seemed dejected deep down. If she wasn’t a woman, Stunk would have been far more upset. Yet without her, he’d never be able to return to normal, so he didn’t want to be unreasonable.

The receptionist woman, Pyugmarie, pulled out some laboratory equipment from the pile of rubbish surrounding her. While peering at something that looked like a crumpled-up lab report, she started throwing different powders and liquids into a cauldron.

“I’ve got an eye on you, so don’t try anything fishy.”

“Why would I, my fine elven gentleman? I always conduct my experiments with sincerity and seriousness. Additionally, my sword-shifting magic creations were always first-rate. But I guess this result is the same as my previous sex-change experiment. I mean, really, I feel there’s a significant demand for permanence, but I will overcome this folly and restore my former glory, ke-ke-ke-ke-ke.”

Flames erupted around the bottom of the cauldron. In the meantime, Pyugmarie and Zel exchanged information on alchemy. The group’s blushing, cherubic companion looked on, face wrought with worry.

“Are you sure we can trust this woman…?”

“I’m a bit worried, too… I’ve seen a witch who resembled her before.”

“Yeah, they come around once in a while… Mad magicians.”

These types didn’t have any regard for common logic or how they were adversely affecting those around them. They held intellectual curiosity above all, close to their chest, and conducted experiments ad nauseam.

Zel had taken on a number of requests in the past to stop their problematic creations from running amok and causing havoc.

To put it simply, they never learned. They just screwed up, over and over again.

“If you’re watching, Zel, then I guess he’s gonna be okay…”

According to Zel, creating a potion that could transform human flesh wasn’t really that complicated. The hard part was returning it back to normal after a set amount of time.

Removing a man’s foreskin was easy. Putting it back on was next to impossible. This was the same idea.

If Zel was still by Stunk’s side the previous day, he would have definitely stopped him from taking the potion. He told Stunk he was being a reckless idiot, and Stunk couldn’t say anything in return.

“Throwing myself in harm’s way out of desperation because I knew this place was a bust was foolish… I’ve learned my lesson.”

“I can’t ignore that statement. Are you saying this establishment, which I poured my heart and soul into, does not satisfy you?”

“Okay, even you have to realize there aren’t any good girls here.”

“You simply have no taste, dear customer. We have many cute girls here with faint magical powers that will devote themselves to letting you do whatever you want. Additionally, we have innocent and industrious souls that will give you an erection straight from your heart! Okay, to be honest, I have a bit of a Lolita complex, so I actually prefer a low-functioning magic item that I can do whatever I want to as opposed to a living weapon that’s full of magic power. They really turn me on! Yes, I’m a loli-obsessed maniac. I’m so sorry, ke-ke-ke-ke-ke.”

“Is that really what Lolita complex means?”

This woman had way more problems than they could have anticipated.

“That said, it’s a fact that I have to accommodate for third-rate products in order for my business to continue doing well, so I’ve come up with a lot of different ideas, and recently, I finally was able to secure a man-made chimera! No, really, to be honest, I created it myself, and I was hoping to acquire some customers once I calm down a bit mentally—Oh yeah, that’s right, by the way, I had a great idea!”

Pyugmarie clapped her hands together.

“Gara, please get some tea for our guests! I won’t ask you to work with them or anything. You only need to talk, so don’t do anything with that surly temperament of yours that would end in a lawsuit, okay?”

“Are you serious? You want me to do that?”

A voice echoed from beyond the hallway, which was lined with playrooms. After a pause, the sound of rustling against the floor could be heard. The newcomer had the lower body of a snake and the upper body of a gorgeous, dark-skinned girl with frighteningly large breasts.

Crim had seen her face before and couldn’t help saying, “…Meidri…?”

“Hmm? No, you’ve got the wrong person. I was born among this trash…or wait, no, my name is Gara, the chimera. Nice to meet you!”

Gara’s face looked extremely familiar to a winged woman they knew, but her crude, listless tone of voice was particularly unsettling. Stunk and company stood silently, communicating with their eyes.

Brooz moved first, positioning himself behind Gara in an instant with his canine reflexes.

“Hmm? What’s gotten into you?”

“Nowhere to run, nowhere to hide! If you come this way, my magic sword will attack!”

Stunk blocked the front entrance and swung the sword sprouting from his crotch back and forth.

Seeing their escape routes blocked, Pyugmarie and Gara exchanged glances.

“Oh, you must be the ones looking for The Sex Marionette escapee. No, no, you most you definitely are, ke-ke-ke. Ugh, what absolutely terrible luck! I’m nearly in tears. How dreadfully unfortunate.”

“I told you we should have fled farther!!”

“But that would have been a waste for this establishment. It may be tiny, but this place is my castle.”

“This place is a dump that can’t keep a single customer!”

“Okay now, you two, leave the fighting for later. Excuse me, Pyugmarie.”

Stunk used the tip of his sword to push back the receptionist’s hood. There were deep, dark circles under her eyes—clear signs of fatigue and insomnia.

“I see… You used a magic potion that modifies physical anatomy in order to change your lower body into that of a lamia and entered that joint posing as a man.”

“No, Mr. Elf, the lower body you’re talking about is right there.”

Pyugmarie gestured toward the side of the counter with her chin and removed a piece of cloth covering the spot, revealing a lamia’s lower body curled up underneath.

“It’s an amazing piece of work that moves and slithers just like a real lamia’s tail. But it’s really heavy once you take it off.”

“Why did you go through all the trouble of using something like this to steal from another shop? If this chimera girl wanted a lamia tail, you could have just whipped one up yourself. I’m sure that’s what you do usually, isn’t it?”

Stunk felt like something was still fishy about the situation.

The sole commonality between Pyugmarie and the creator of this lamia tail was their proven ability to create anything. Admitting that the other’s work was of exceptional quality was not like them.

“The products that I create are altogether too advanced for the paltry commoners of this world. This is something that I was constantly reminded of as I bitterly made the decision to steal for the sake of making money. It was truly an unnerving event to use the design for her body, which was only created to curry favor with others.”

“Wow, that was incredibly rude, and you said it without flinching.”

“But the core was of my own design and a masterpiece quite different from the golem core that you see right here.”

Pyugmarie raised her arm and knocked a small bottle off the table in front of her. It landed at Gara’s and Brooz’s feet, exploding.

The dog hybrid’s eyes rolled back in his head from the stimulating powder that erupted.

“W-woof—!”

Brooz held his nose tight and tumbled to the ground. Gara stepped past him and headed for the rear exit.

“Oh, how lucky! Even though I was distracted a moment ago, this is our chance to escape!”

“What the hell…?!”

Before Zel could step in, Pyugmarie spat a round, chestnut-sized crystal from her mouth, which shattered against the counter and erupted in a flashbang.

As his world went white, Stunk was briefly dazed.

The first one to regain their sight was Crim. As a heavenly being, they were probably used to bright lights. Crim quickly assessed the situation and raised their voice.

“They’re fleeing in different directions!”

“When the rest of us recover, we’ll split into two groups! Zel and Crim, you go after Pyugmarie! Brooz and I will go after big-titty Meidri!”

“No, Stunk, Brooz is no good. His nose is out of commission.”

“Y-yeah, I-I’m sorry, but I don’t think I’ll be any help for a while…!”

Through Stunk’s partially restored vision, he could see Brooz holding his nose and writhing in agony.

“Okay, I’ll chase after that miserable old lady myself!”

Zel rushed out of the shop to give chase. That left just Crim and Stunk… However—

“Crim, go on ahead… I can’t run…”

—the double-edged sword hanging between Stunk’s legs would cut him up if he tried to run. A sword that drank the blood of its owner—a truly magical item if ever there was one.

“Don’t look so depressed with such a ridiculous thing dangling between your thighs!”

“Are you saying there’s anything more serious than having something wrong with your cock?!”

“Ugh, whatever! If it’s such a big problem, then just change your running posture! See…? Like this…! Oh, yikes, I don’t want to touch it.”

Crim scrunched up their face in abject horror as they wrapped Stunk’s magic sword in a handkerchief before hefting it up to Stunk’s chest. Then Crim used some chains lying on the floor of the shop to wrap the sword against Stunk’s torso and secure it before pulling his cloak down over the top.

“This should be fine, right?”

“Umm, oof… Well, I guess so…but the point of the sword is pretty much aimed right at my neck… This is terrifying.”

“You just need to put some cloth over the top, see?”

Crim wrapped the tip of the blade, which was sticking out near Stunk’s neck, in cloth. It looked beyond absurd, but Stunk was able to retain enough range of motion in his lower body to run somehow.

“Wow, Crim, you’re really giving me some trade secrets here. As expected of a great-sword wielder…I owe you one.”

“I wish I could be happy hearing that, but…”

Crim and Stunk flew out the back exit and into the alley. Thankfully, an obvious track from the snake’s thick tail was easily visible on the ground. In hot pursuit of Gara, Stunk ran while Crim flew.

“Oh god… It’s rubbing against my throat and face through the cloth with every stride… This is the worst…”

“Let’s catch Pyugmarie and make sure you get returned to normal.”

“This must be how all those succu-girls felt when I whipped ’em across the face with it…”

“I highly doubt that…”

“Well, how did they react when you slapped them in the face with your huge cock?”

“I would never do such a thing! That is so disrespectful!”

“What the—? You’ve got such a giant cock, and you don’t slap ’em around with it even a little bit? That’s such a rotten waste of your gift.”

“Could you please not call it a rotten waste in this or any context?!”

“Well, if it’s not a rotten waste, it’s at least starting to go bad, eh? The girls would say something like It smells! It smells…! But I love it, oh god, I love it! Then they’d sniff harder and rub their faces against it, right?”

“Can we please focus on the task at hand?”

Crim continued to dodge Stunk’s odd line of questioning. Stunk smirked and changed his bleak outlook. Poking fun at Crim had put an extra pep in his step. But when he saw a waterway blocking their path, his smile faded again.

It was a wide canal used for transport. The problem was that the banks were paved with stone, and the serpentine tracks were no longer visible.

“Wh-what should we do, Stunk?”

“Don’t freak out. She sticks out like a sore thumb, so we should be able to track her down without too much trouble.”

“But at a glance, she just looks like a lamia with dark skin. Will she really stick out…?”

“Now, now, Crim. She’s a big-titty, dark-skinned lamia. Her tits were unreal. They had to be at least G- or H-cup. Maybe even J or K. She’ll definitely turn more than a few heads.”

Because her bust was designed by a client, the size was truly blown out of proportion. How could anyone forget bearing witness to such mountainous mammaries?

They couldn’t. Plain and simple. Stunk’s instincts told him there wasn’t a single person alive who could forget.

Not unless they were exclusively into the younger types, or simply not into women at all.

As evidence of this line of thought, Stunk was able to glean information about the girl immediately.

“She dived right in…”

“Tits and all…”

“I’d give anything to be that water…”

A number of men were still staring at the water with euphoric looks on their faces. According to them, they witnessed a pair of massive breasts floating past—as expected—and immediately pointed in the direction they went. Furthermore, they reported that the brown buoys traveled toward the end of the canal, against the current.

“She was more like an eel than a snake, really.”

“At any rate, now we know exactly the way she was headed—let’s go!”

Stunk and Crim sprinted alongside the waterway, keeping one eye on it. They passed by small merchant boats loaded with cargo and traveling mermaids. This waterway was not simply for transport within the town—it was also a passageway for aquatic life.

Stunk and Crim came to a fork in the waterway. A number of mermen also poked their smiling faces out of the water, all looking in the same direction.

“Wow, what nice tits…”

“I wonder if she’s taken…”

“I want to fertilize her eggs…”

“Stunk, I’ll admit that you were right about the lamia’s boobs turning heads, but I also have to admit I’m dying a little inside.”

“Why? What’s wrong with guys liking tits?”

“No, what I’m saying is, I feel a bit dead inside because in my heart of hearts, I feel the same way they do… But I couldn’t for the life of me tell you why…”

Crim was still at the point where they felt embarrassed by sexual matters. They had already written over ten succubus-joint reviews. Just how long did they intend to play innocent? Maybe they just were, plain and simple. Despite being the ringleader of poking fun at Crim, even Stunk began to feel genuine concern.

“Listen up, Crim, don’t deny your instincts. The only time you should is when it might lead to sexual play getting even more hot and heavy—”

“Please don’t say such reckless things…”

“Here’s an example. A girl who supposedly hates men might say Don’t come near me at first, right? That’s when you say, Don’t be that way, baby. If you actually listened to your body, you’d have to admit that it was you who wanted to be close to me. Got it?”

“……Let’s return our attention to our task.”

“That’s that, and this is this. I’ll remain faithful to my sexual appetite for life. Even now, I can feel a very clear throbbing sensation… Oh shit, the magic sword moved!”

Stunk’s member, still clinging to his chest, started to throb from his intensified cravings. Even though the blade between his legs had taken on a drastically different appearance, its true nature wasn’t going to change. After all, it was Stunk’s one and only life partner, which had been with him from the very beginning.

“I’m relieved… He’s the same as always. I’m so sorry, partner. I was convinced you’d just become a pain in the crotch. But in the end, I really do need you…!”

“Please stop talking to your penis…”

“Okay, why don’t you give it a whirl? He’s actually pretty shy and polite.”

In that moment… Sploosh—!

The dark-skinned Meidri’s face suddenly burst from the surface of the water before them.

“Pwahh! How long do you expect me to hold my breath?!”

She turned around. Their eyes met.

“…Ugh, were you really still following me?”

“Now’s your chance, Stunk! Don’t let her get away!”

Stunk picked up the angelic youth like a feather and hurled them at Gara full force.

“What in the world are you doiiiiing?!”

“Who is that blond person flying at me?!”

In the instant before they collided—

—a leg flew out from the side, connecting with Crim’s ribs. Crim cried out in pain and got thrown off trajectory, barely retaining composure and fluttering their wings to come to a stop just above the water’s surface.

A stern-faced man had delivered the kick from a small pleasure craft sailing next to them.

“I see you’re after this girl, are you?”

The man leaped over to the paved canal bank and stood in front of Gara, shielding her.

“Stunk…you are destined to battle me. Remember that.”

“You again? Ugh…”

It was the six-armed, Buddha-faced swordsman, Vilchana. He put his hand down toward the water and beckoned for Gara to come to him.

“Woman, if you step behind me, I will guarantee your safety.”

“Really? Has a knight in shining armor actually shown up to rescue me?”

Gara took Vilchana’s hand and rose from the water’s surface.

“Just to fill you in, that chick is actually stolen property.”

“Treating a living person as a commodity? Have you become the lapdog of a slave trader?”

“No, I mean someone took it upon themselves to give this stolen property a soul… Wow, I’m not very good at explaining this.”

“Really? Are you guys gonna sit there and talk about me like I’m an item?”

Gara stuck out her tongue. She was more sensitive than Meidri, or rather, more immature. Realizing that the one who customized her must have been a first-rate pervert, it could be said she turned out exactly the way he wanted.

Vilchana remained silent as he stared at Stunk. There was a cold light in his eyes. Colder than the purest driven snow melted into a blade of ice.

“It matters not to me. I have only one thing to say.”

“I knew it! This hunk is a soldier of love who will fight for my honor!”

“Duel me, Stunk. If you win, you may have your way with this woman.”

“That’s right, and if the hunk wins, he can take me—Wait, what?”

Gara and Vilchana seemed to be having some miscommunication, but it didn’t change the facts. If anything, the situation had only gotten worse from when Stunk was simply chasing a pair of breasts.

Stunk stared back into Vilchana’s icy gaze and twisted his face into a snarl.

“I guess I have no choice. I’ll take your stupid challenge.”