Bonus Short Stories

Side: Yurika

Yurika was just as bad at waking up in the morning as Koutarou was. In Koutarou’s case, he had the advantage of sleeping out in the open of the inner room—someone coming into the apartment would always wake him up one way or the other. Not so for Yurika. As she slept in the closed wardrobe, she could sleep through all kinds of commotion—and she often did when she forgot to set her alarm.

“Zzz, zzz... I win thish one...”

“She’s sound asleep, ho.”

“She sure is, ho.”

“She must’ve forgotten to set her alarm again, ho.”

It was Koutarou and the haniwas’ responsibility to wake Yurika up in the morning. There had never been a formal agreement to decide this, but they were the ones that ended up taking on the job. Koutarou had a penchant for looking after people, and the haniwas loved a good challenge.

“Thish is why you can’t bheat me... Zzz, zzz...”

“Big Brother, how should we wake her up this time, ho?”

“That’s the problem. Shaking doesn’t work, and she gets angry if I set the alarm off right next to her ear...”

“What a selfish sleepyhead, ho.”

“You can say that again.”

The three of them struggled to come up with a good way to wake Yurika. Doing it suddenly would result in Yurika complaining about how rough and violent they were. And it was a lot of trouble thinking up a way that wouldn’t make her angry.

“That mhakes ten winsh in a rhow... Zzz, zzz...”

“I was thinking maybe we should try throwing her a curveball today.”

“Ho? A curveball?”

“Let’s see what you’ve got, ho!”

Koutarou approached Yurika and leaned in close towards her ear.

“Shatomi-shan, I’ll share my pointsh whith you... I whouldn’t whant you to hit zhero pointsh...”

“Yurika, I want you to keep calm and listen to me. Winning ten times in a row is too good to be true—it’s never going to happen.”

Koutarou’s “curveball” was whispering to Yurika in her sleep. He knew sleeping people could still hear what was going on in the real, waking world. How much they listened, exactly, depended on the person and the situation, but he was sure he could make it work.

“That’sh not thrue... I jhust bhagged a landshlide victorhy...”

“You’re only dreaming, Yurika. Wake up and smell the coffee.”

“Lhiar... you’re alwaysh so mean...”

“Reality is calling, Yurika. This is just a sad dream.”

“I’m nhot dhreaming... I’m jhust that ghood...”

“Think about it, Yurika. Anytime you start winning, you end up faceplanting into failure.”

“Hrrrngh...”

Yurika’s expression began to twist in response to Koutarou’s whispering. Whatever cards she drew were trash, any enemies she faced easily defeated her, her money began slipping through her fingers. Before she knew it, her dream had become a nightmare—or was that just reality? Whichever it was, it was Yurika’s nature to run away from painful things, so she was already showing signs of waking.

“That’s Big Brother for you! Always there with an ace up his sleeve when it counts, ho!”

“We should try this too, ho! For future reference!”

“Be my guest. Give it a shot.”

“Yurika-chan, something’s approaching you from behind, ho!”

“It’s a zombie, ho! A zombie is coming for you!”

“Kyaaaaah! Nooooo!”

And so Koutarou and the haniwas managed to wake Yurika up in a nonviolent manner, although they would still get an earful from her about their chosen method.

Side: Theiamillis

It had now been well over a year since Theia first came to Earth. She’d matured a lot in that time, though her growth was completely mental. Physically, she hadn’t changed much at all.

“Hmph! This damn thing!”

Theia was currently ripping apart a piece of paper and stamping on the shreds that fell to the ground. But even that didn’t seem to soothe her rage—her cheeks were still puffed out in frustration. Perplexed by this display, Koutarou turned to Ruth, who was pouring tea.

“What’s got her all worked up?”

“Well, you see... that document she just tore up was the results of her physical...”

“Ah, I get it.”

Ruth had only answered Koutarou indirectly, but Koutarou knew exactly what was going on when he heard the word “physical.” He knew Theia was sensitive about her appearance. And, armed with that knowledge, he called out to her with a wry smile.

“Say, Theia, you know it’s okay to be short, right?”

“You wouldn’t understand how short people feel, you giant oaf!”

It may have sounded like Koutarou was trying to comfort her, but he was only adding fuel to the fire.

“Hey, your height works to your advantage too, you know?”

“How, exactly?!”

“I mean, I already know better, but I’m sure it makes strangers think you’re cute.”

Theia had matured over the past year, but she was still brash, violent, and impulsive. Her petite build helped soften the edges of her personality, however. It was a lot easier to forgive what appeared to be a temper-tantrum. Theia would get away with her outbursts a lot less if she had the stature of a grown woman.

“Are you saying that I look like a child?!”

“I’m saying you probably do to people who don’t really know you.”

“Grrrrr... Curse those ignorant fools...”

“Forgive them, will you? I’m sure most of our classmates would never in a million years think they’re going to school with the princess of a galactic empire.”

Theia was a reasonable, egalitarian princess—but no one on Earth saw her as a princess. Her looks, sadly, didn’t help any in that department either.

“Urk...”

Theia couldn’t argue with Koutarou there, but she was still angry... And that anger was slowly starting to turn on him.

“Then what do you think, Koutarou? By that logic, you should be a good judge since you know me so well.”

Because Koutarou understood Theia’s position, he should be able to evaluate her fairly. That’s why she sought his opinion—surely how he thought of her wasn’t influenced by her appearance.

“I think you’re overthinking this.”

“How so?”

“Well... Ruth-san.”

“Yes?”

“Could you stand next to Theia for me?”

“Certainly. I don’t mind, but...”

Although puzzled, Ruth complied and moved right over next to Theia.

“Hyah!”

Once she was in place, Koutarou let out a shout and delivered a karate chop straight to Theia’s forehead.

“Ow! What are you doing?!”

“Calm down. This is exactly what I’m talking about.”

“What?!”

“If you had a more mature appearance—like Ruth here—I wouldn’t be able to hit you so casually. I’m saying that even I am influenced by your appearance.”

“...”

Theia silently put her hands on her head as she listened to Koutarou’s explanation. She could still feel the stinging sensation where he’d smacked her, and she didn’t hate it. She knew good and well that she’d miss it if he stopped doing it.

“I-In that case, I guess I’ll stay like this a little longer...”

“Thank you, Your Highness.”

“Very good...”

Theia was still sensitive about her height, but the point Koutarou made helped calm her emotions. Maybe being short wasn’t so bad after all.

“I can’t accept this!”

However, just as Theia was calming down, someone else flew into a tizzy. That someone else, you ask? It was Ruth.

“Master, treating people differently because of their appearance is outrageous! I demand that you treat me just as violently and absurdly as you do Her Highness!”

“R-Relax, Ruth!”

“Ruth-san, you’re being unreasonable!”

Ruth was so worked up in a temper-tantrum of her own now that it would take Koutarou and Theia some time to calm her down again.

Side: Sanae

One afternoon, Sanae was eating snacks and catching up on some anime she’d recorded with Koutarou. Watching it on her own was boring, so she’d intentionally chosen a day he’d be around for her marathon.

“How many episodes are left?”

“Um... Four, I think?”

“Of which shows?”

“They’re all 100 Ninja.”

Sanae’s taste in anime was quite varied. Superhero shows were something she enjoyed, and something Koutarou also had an appreciation for. That’s why she’d specifically picked this show out for the both of them to enjoy together.

“Oh, that one with a ton of ninjas.”

“Teaming up is one of the perks of being a good guy.”

“But, come on, there’s got to be a reasonable limit.”

“There’s power in numbers!”

“I’m not sure what to think of justice by committee...”

“It’s very democratic, isn’t it?”

“It sounds more like a mob to me.”

Koutarou and Sanae chatted away as they continued watching anime. Oftentimes, Sanae was so absorbed in their conversation that she wasn’t even looking at the screen—not that she was going to pause or rewind. This quality time with Koutarou was what she was really after; the anime was just an excuse for it.

“I guess I’ll concede that teaming up might be the right thing for ninjas...”

“What makes you say that?”

“I hear that real ninjas back in the day always fought in groups. Like to swarm their opponents and stuff.”

“So the shows where they only fight in groups of five or so are the ones that have it wrong?”

“Strictly speaking. Well, I’m sure there were groups like that too.”

“Hmm, that’s interesting.”

Sanae nibbled on a rice cracker as she turned back towards the TV. Onscreen, a yokai was currently being attacked by several ninjas. Despite the yokai’s size, it was easily outnumbered and quickly cornered.

“Hmm, swarm attacks, huh...?”

Sanae shoved the rest of the rice cracker in her mouth and crunched down on it with a smile as if she’d just had a brilliant idea.

“Eheehee...”

She then put her hands together in front of her chest and loudly shouted...

“Ninja Arts: Clone Technique!”

Sanae used her psychic powers to create puffs of smoke. When they cleared, there were now three Sanaes.

“This is Sanae-chan’s secret ninja art, the clone technique!”

“Sanae, what’s going on here?”

“Raaah... Raaagh...”

First there was the always confident Sanae-chan, then there was the poor, puzzled Sanae-san, and last was Sanae’s body—which was practically just an empty husk now that both Sanaes had slipped out of it.

“Hey, are you sure this is okay?” Koutarou asked worriedly as he poked Sanae’s body.

Compared to her ethereal selves, her body was behaving strangely. It was moving, but not in a very natural way... If anything, it looked like a zombie. It was just groaning and rocking back and forth as Koutarou poked its cheek.

“Raaah... Raaagh...”

“Yeah, I’m sure it’s fine. Probably.”

“Please don’t do things like this unless you’re really sure, Sanae-chan!”

“We’re good. It’s not like we’ve completely left it.”

“Well, that’s true, but...”

The two Sanaes comprised 90 percent of her soul, meaning the remaining 10 percent was what had been left in their body. They were also both still connected to it by a spiritual cable of sorts. So while it was acting like a zombie (which was a little strange), everything was actually fine.

“So, what are you going to do like that?” asked Koutarou warily.

“Heehee, a swarm attack! Let’s get him!”

“Raaagh!”

“Wh-What?! O-Oh, right... Um, take this!”

On Sanae-chan’s orders, all three Sanaes pounced on Koutarou. Sanae-san hesitated at first, but eventually worked up the courage to dive in too.

“Wh-Whoa! What are you guys doing?”

“Behold the power of numbers!”

“Um, I’m sorry about this!”

“Rah! Ragh!”

In the end, the three Sanaes forgot all about the anime they were watching and put their all into playing with Koutarou. It just went to show that Sanae never missed an opportunity when it came to having fun.