This Device Makes It Rain Pork Bone Broth – Part 01

Monday, July 3rd. Exam day.

Big Teach had seemed to be in a hurry, so I figured that delivery or whatever would show up right away, but nothing ever came.

I’d stayed cooped up at home all weekend studying. Not exactly the picture of a normal high school student’s time off.

With a self-proclaimed genius Magiclad Girl and a secretly all-powerful Necromancer as my eccentric tutors, I dove headfirst into my studies. The results were nothing short of insane.

I’d never cared about exams before. I used to think people who studied willingly were straight-up weird.

But now? I studied by choice, and I actually enjoyed the exam. For the first time in my life, I filled out every answer in thirty minutes.

Every topic Haruna had predicted were dead-on, and Eu and Sera walked me through them like pros.

Flawless. Absolutely flawless teamwork. But even as I basked in that triumph, I faced a serious problem.

At this hour, I couldn’t make it home alone. It sounds like something a high school girl from the early 2000s might say, but it was true.

The sky was too damn clear. Bring back the rainy season! What, were they trying to kill zombies with this weather?

I let out a long sigh, half-hoping someone might just show up to get me. Maybe I should call home and ask for Sera. She was basically a vampire, yet she could stroll around in broad daylight without breaking a sweat. Makes me jealous.

Still, she’d probably get mad if I called her out of nowhere. What was I supposed to do?

People hate selfish, clingy types. I really believed it was better to hold back on impulsive behavior. Meeting Haruna had taught me that for sure.

But seriously, I couldn’t think of any other option. I guess I’d just have to call and brace myself for the scorn.

Beep, beep, beep, beep, beep. Ring-ring-ring. Ring-ring-ring. Click.

“Shut up! Go to hell!”

Click. Beep… beep.

She hung up before I even said a word. I’m pretty sure that was Haruna.

If someone else had called, they’d probably be catatonic by now. I leaned back in my chair and dialed home again.

Beep, beep, beep, beep, beep. Ring-ring-ring. Ring-ring-ring. Click.

“Hey, it’s me. I need your help.”

“Nice try, scammer! Go jump off a cliff!”

Click. Beep… beep.

What the hell was I supposed to do? Should I just say Haruna’s name?

Yeah. That might get through to her. She’d know it was me.

All right. Deep breath. One more time.

Beep, beep, beep, beep, beep. Ring-ring-ring. Ring-ring-ring. Ring-ring-ring.

Huh? Not picking up this time?

Ring-ring-ring. Ring-ring-ring. Ring-ring-ring.

I lost track of how long the phone rang. I kept bouncing my leg restlessly, refusing to give up until Haruna picked up.

If I gave up now and hung up, I’d probably explode from the crushing sense of defeat.

No way in hell I’m backing down now!

Ring-ring-ring. Ring-ring-ring. Ring-ring-ring. Click.

“Haruna?”

“…”

“Hellooo?”

“…”

Click. Beep, beep, beep.

All right, I give up. What the hell was that about?

Right. I might as well try calling Big Teach while I’m at it. I had to know when that package was arriving. It’d been eating at me.

Beep, beep, beep, beep. Ring. Click.

“Hi hello! You’ve reached Matellis Magic School.”

She spoke way too fast, but there was no mistaking that voice. It was Big Teach.

“Big Teach? It’s me.”

“Ayumu? Something wrong? I’m, like, super busy right now.”

“Ah, sorry. It’s about that thing you said I’d be looking after. I just wanted to know when it might be arriving.”

“There’s a massive Megalo outbreak right now, so I’m super swamped, but I’ll definitely send it over eventually. All you have to do is accept it, no thinking necessary. Is that all?”

“Uh, yeah, pretty much.”

“Okay then. Let’s have a proper chat next time, okay?”

Click. Beep, beep, beep.

Huh. Why do I feel so… empty? Maybe I should stop making calls for a while.

I leaned back in my chair and looked around.

Even though school ended at noon, a lot of students were still around. Exams were basically school events, so of course people would be buzzing about them. Those with smiles on their faces definitely did well.

In that post-festival buzz of a classroom, a male student came rushing in. Kids these days are always so hyper, I thought as I watched him from a distance. Suddenly, he led almost the entire class out into the hallway.

Their bags were still there, so they hadn’t gone home. Something must’ve happened.

A knot formed in my stomach, and I frowned slightly.

“What’s with all the ruckus?” Orito said, rising from his seat. “I’ll go check it out.”

Overcome with spectator’s curiosity, Orito headed to the door, poked his head out into the hallway, and like a ninja, flipped right back to my desk.

“Aikawa!”

He was practically snorting. Could something that exciting really be happening right after exams?

“Sera’s here!”

“Whaaat?”

Turns out it’s surprisingly easy for a voice to crack.

“Did you call her?” Orito asked.

I’d tried to, but Haruna stopped me. Wide-eyed, I turned toward the door.

The crowd at the door stepped aside as a stunning woman with a ponytail strode into the classroom. Her sleeveless turtleneck and jeans stood out in the jungle of school uniforms. She naturally drew attention. But even without the outfit, she had a beauty that turned heads. Her graceful figure was breathtaking, and it was impossible not to stare. Just watching her walk made you think she might be spreading a wonderful fragrance with every step.

Noses twitched and flared. Just like Orito’s.

Like golf spectators, the students stood back and watched Sera calmly striding through the room, her ponytail swaying with each graceful step.

She didn’t seem fazed by the attention. Either she was used to it, or she just didn’t care. With her usual cool demeanor, she walked straight over to me.

When I looked closer, I saw she was holding a lunch box. She stopped in front of my desk and pushed it right under my nose.

“Ayumu,” she said. “Haruna asked me to bring this to you.”

I was sure I told Haruna, “I don’t need lunch today.” Seriously, that girl never listened.

“You came all the way here just to bring me this?”

“No, it was just on the way.”

“On the way?”

“There’s an old friend of mine at this school.”

Huh, so she knew an ordinary person?

Then again, maybe there was a Vampire Ninja hiding here too. If a zombie could go to school, why not?

Now that I thought about it, maybe there was even a Magiclad Girl around. If Big Teach wanted to send me something without Haruna finding out, school might be the safest place for it.

I took the lunch box with both hands, carefully.

“Oh, and Haruna left a message. ‘You can’t eat my cooking? Die, you disgusting pig.’ That’s it.”

I didn’t mean I didn’t want to eat it, just that I didn’t need lunch today. I guess that didn’t get through.

Also, that disgusting pig bit at the end? No way that came from Haruna. That was definitely Sera’s own addition. I wanted to call her out on it, but I let it go.

No need to make her mad here. She’d come all the way out to see me, after all. I might as well ask her to take me home. It’d save me the trouble. Haruna’s mix-up actually worked in my favor this time.

“Well then, I’ll be going.” Sera turned on her heel.

“Actually, you couldn’t have come at a better time,” I said. “Let’s go home together. There aren’t any more classes today.”

She stopped and turned just her head toward me. Her eyes were full of disdain.

“You made me bring lunch, even though you had no more classes?”

“Blame Haruna for that.” I shot a quick glance at Orito and leaned in to whisper to Sera. “I can’t go home alone at this hour. You can drag me if you have to. Just help me out.”

Sera pushed my face away and muttered with a sigh, “Fine.”

Orito raised his hand timidly. “Then I’ll come too.”

“No.”

“Come on, Aikawa! That’s not fair! Just ’cause you live with her—”

“Wh-Whaaat?!”

A perfectly harmonized gasp that would astonish a boys’ choir came from the gawking students. I didn’t realize we’d become the center of attention. Well, mostly Sera.

I’d been afraid this would happen. I was a timid zombie who just wanted to finish high school without drawing weird rumors.

Thanks to Orito’s loud mouth, I had just earned myself the title of that guy who lives with the crazy hot chick.

Orito grabbed my shoulders and shook me violently. “Hey, Aikawa! Come on, man. Sera, Haruna, and Yuu? How the hell did you end up surrounded by nothing but pretty girls?!” he practically shouted through tears, spitting on purpose for dramatic effect.

With empty eyes, I replied flatly, “I hit on Eu on a whim one day and it worked. Haruna just dropped out of the sky. Sera showed up at my place one day out of nowhere.”

“You serious right now?”

“Yeah, I know. It sounds stupid.”

I hadn’t exaggerated a thing, but yeah… if I were in his shoes, I’d have said the exact same thing.

“I was trying to protect Eu, and then suddenly Haruna forced me to fight monsters. And the next thing I knew, Sera was the one guarding Eu,” I added.

“Aikawa, man. You’re seriously creepy.”

“Yeah. I figured.”

It was a ridiculous story no matter how you sliced it. No one would believe it. Anyone would think I was delusional. I guess the most insane truths just vanish that way, unbelieved and ignored.