I Need to Use the Bathroom – Part 05

We were almost at the cemetery. After lying low and letting the Megalo pass, we slipped back into the narrow alley.

The road was so tight, two cars wouldn’t even be able to pass each other. The cemetery was just ahead.

But you know how these things go. The final stretch always comes with the biggest headache.

“Good evening, Aikawa. What are you doing in a place like this?”

A cute girl with long hair in pigtails, a baby face, and a rather large chest was waiting in the middle of the path. Her smile was like a flower in full bloom.

“I should be the one asking you that,” I replied.

Haruna hid behind me as I scanned the area. Only Kyouko. No one else.

“Let’s go, Haruna.”

“Wuh? O-Okay!”

I almost stopped in my tracks, but forced myself to keep walking.

“You have Miss Ariel’s secret weapon with you, don’t you? She’s waiting up ahead.”

There was no point talking. I swung my chainsaw down.

Even for Kyouko, a Magigear could be dangerous. I’d already beaten her once, so I figured she’d dodge. And she did, slipping to the side just as expected. Haruna darted past the opening.

But a Megalo got to her. There wasn’t any there before.

That meant they’d caught up. Shit. There was no way I could handle Kyouko and a Megalo at the same time.

I grabbed Kyouko and flung her at the Megalo pinning Haruna down. The Megalo let go of her and caught Kyouko mid-air, cradling her gently before setting her down. A fake Megalo.

Taking advantage of the opportunity, Haruna scrambled back on all fours like a cat and returned to my side. She didn’t look scared.

“I’m grateful to you, Aikawa.” Giggling like Big Teach, Kyouko summoned a tornado. “Thanks to you destroying my Magigear, I learned to control wind.”

The tornado transformed into a sword. It wasn’t straight, and it wasn’t even the right length, but the way she held it made it clear what it was meant to be.

I raised my chainsaw into a high stance. I still needed to close the gap to strike.

Kyouko swung her wind blade in a horizontal arc. There was no way that could reach me—or so I thought, until a chunk of my side got shredded.

That thing can stretch? Great.

The tornado lashed out with erratic, whip-like movements. It didn’t leave cuts where it touched; it tore out chunks like something had bitten into the flesh. There was no way to defend against it.

Getting trim from a tornado? Not the kind of diet I’d recommend.

Kyouko wasn’t transformed into a Magiclad Girl. Her movements were slower than when we’d fought before.

I took a step forward, and she stepped back. I took another, and a Megalo came swinging.

Annoying as hell. I swatted the Megalo away and kept trying to figure out what to do.

“Ayumu, staying here’s only gonna make things worse,” Haruna said.

“I know.”

“I have a plan. You distract her and the Megalo.”

“You’re as unreasonable as ever,” I said. “By the way, aren’t you scared?”

“I mean, that thing looks like a Megalo, but it feels different.”

She only realized that now? Haruna clearly hadn’t listened to a word of the conversation I’d had with Kyouko before. When something doesn’t interest her, she really doesn’t bother at all.

“I see. Still, taking on both Kyouko and the Megalo is a tough ask.”

“What? You can’t handle it?”

“Yeah, both at once is a bit much.”

“Not even for me?”

“Now that you say it, I think I can manage.”

“I knew it.” Haruna grinned, clearly pleased with herself. “There’s something I need to tell you,” she said solemnly. “This is super embarrassing, and I really don’t wanna say it out loud.”

Stop beating around the bush. I half-listened, not even meeting her eyes.

“If I don’t say it now, I don’t think I ever will.”

It sounded more serious than I expected, so I gave her a quick glance.

“I…”

Her cheeks flushed as she looked away. That bashful look, the sweet little breath she let out. My heart pounded hard in my chest.

What’s with that look on her face? She was starting to make me feel weird.

Then, with a voice full of conviction and zero regrets, she said, “I need to use the bathroom.”

“Yeah, me too.”

I’d lost count of how many times I’d felt both disappointed and relieved at the same time.

I charged straight at Kyouko. Another Megalo jumped out to block me, but I ignored it.

Kyouko leapt back, sending out a tornado attack. I threw my chainsaw at her, then skipped the follow-up and instead slammed the Megalo against a wall.

That startled her. In her hurry to dodge the chainsaw, Kyouko leapt into the air, completely missing Haruna sneaking up from behind.

Haruna hurled something at her. Kyouko reacted on instinct, swinging her tornado sword to slice it down. An orange drifted gently through the air.

Kyouko’s eyes went wide, and her jaw dropped. Well, she was a Magiclad Girl, after all. Of course she knew.

That the orange was a bomb.

An explosion went off. Shielding my eyes from the flash, I sprinted for the chainsaw.

The explosion was smaller than I expected. Kyouko probably didn’t take much damage. Still, this was a chance. I had to take it.

I grabbed Haruna’s hand and weaved between the Megalo. Finally, we made it to the cemetery.

Normally a quiet second home for zombies, the cemetery was now packed with Megalo, monsters who had nothing to do with the place. It was like a damn monster house.

Megalo swarmed the area like kids at the game aisle on a Dragon Quest release day.

Maybe incorporeal beings like Megalo were naturally drawn to spiritual places? Since they came from the Underworld, maybe they were undead, like me?

Not that it mattered at the moment. I pushed forward.

I deflected a Megalo’s swinging arm, used a dog Megalo’s back as a foothold, and leapt high. One of them, reaching up like a zombie, managed to grab Haruna’s foot.

I landed on the gravel and punched the Megalo off her. Scooping Haruna up in a bridal carry, I leapt again, and that’s when we passed her.

A girl with a torn black cape. Her pigtails were loose on one side.

Kyouko smirked as she swiped the plastic shopping bag from Haruna’s hand. “This must be it. Miss Ariel’s trump card,” she said. “Goodbye, Aikawa.” She left looking smug.

I just stared after her blankly. I didn’t curse or anything. If I remembered right, the only thing left in that plastic bag was… a porn mag.

“Ayumu! Over there!” Haruna pointed.

In the distance, a pigtailed girl in a lab coat was twirling two swords. At first glance it looked like she was dancing, but no. She was fighting.

Her swordplay moved with rhythm, like a choreographed dance.

Everything around her looked like lifeless dummies or extras in a staged fight, getting cut down effortlessly. Wherever Big Teach stood, white particles filled the air.

“Wow,” I breathed.

“Wow is right. That’s Big Teach.”

“Big Teach!” I called.

“Oh, Ayumu! Have you come to lend a hand?”

Even while surrounded by enemies, she waved cheerfully and chuckled, not the least bit winded.

“First things first, though,” I said.

“We take out the trash!” Haruna added.

“Haruna, perfect timing. Could you set up a barrier for me? Things just got annoying.” Big Teach swung her swords wide, still giggling.

Haruna hopped up and down. “Are you going to do the thing?! Hell yeah!”

What were they talking about?

“Ayumu, stay behind me,” Haruna said.

“You seem weirdly excited.”

“Because Big Teach’s magic is fun to watch. I think this is the first time she’s using it in this world.”

Magic, huh?

Haruna held out both hands and released a ruby-colored light. It was the most powerful light I’d ever seen from her. Was she planning to put up a huge barrier?

“Siht ot elbareferp eb dluow eriflleh neve sehsa ot nrub em erofeb sloof eht lla ot seigolopa ym,” Big Teach chanted melodically.

Haruna responded by putting up a large barrier. The incantation was awfully long. Did that mean it was a very powerful spell?

“Burn them all! Dragon’s Crimson!”

I saw fire. A tornado of flame, a pillar of fire, erupted from the ground and rose toward the sky, incinerating every Megalo in its path.

It turned as bright as midday. No campfire could compare.

An unearthly roar of flame burst, and the hode of Megalo crumbled like sandcastles in a storm.

“So pretty,” Haruna said, her eyes sparkling.

Some Megalo started to flee as the rest burst into white particles one after another. Just seconds ago, the place had been crawling with those creatures in school uniforms, like a school assembly. Now, not a single one was left.

No fucking way. She actually one-shot them.

She was insanely strong. So strong, it made my own hand-to-hand fighting feel totally pathetic.

So this was the true power of a Magiclad Girl. Please don’t ever use that spell again. At least not in this world.

“What was the barrier even for?” I asked.

“That spell was so hot, it would’ve killed everything around, not just the Megalo,” Big Teach explained. “And I can’t cast offensive magic and put up a barrier at the same time.”

Yeah, made sense. With flames like that right in front of you, the heat alone could be lethal. That explained why even the Megalo that didn’t get hit directly burned up.

“That was amazing!” Haruna bounced around, glowing with excitement. “You’re gonna be Ultra Teach at this rate. Respectfully!”

“Why, thank you.”

“Oh, right. Big Teach, here—wait, huh?”

I reached for the glasses I was supposed to deliver and realized I was still in my Magiclad Girl outfit. What I needed was in my pants pocket. I needed to revert back to get it.

Well, the Megalo were gone, and Big Teach was here. I could undo the transformation.