Don’t Worry About Me. Just Cook the Egg! – Part 05
Don’t Worry About Me. Just Cook the Egg! – Part 05
Don’t Worry About Me. Just Cook the Egg! – Part 05
The omelet contest showed their personalities clearly.
Tomonori seemed to believe in having fun no matter what she did. Just cracking eggs brought a smile to her face. It felt like she was playing a game.
She added fresh cream and broth, experimenting but cooking normally.
Haruna, on the other hand, moved one step forward, then one back, pivoting constantly. Her shoes clacked loudly. She was moving way too much for no reason. It also looked like she was playing a game.
“What are you doing?” I asked.
“If you walk more than three steps holding an egg, it’s a travel.”
Who was blowing the whistle on that?
“Oop!”
Instead of using the stainless steel antibacterial bowl set in front of her, she threw the egg at the bowl on the teacher’s podium.
“A fadeaway!” Mihara and Anderson from the basketball club gasped. Anderson’s pronunciation was perfectly native.
“Rebound! The egg’s gonna spill!”
Everyone held their breath, watching the egg trace a perfect arc.
“Quiet now. This sound… brings me back to life. Over and over again.”[1]
Crack! The egg hit the edge of the bowl and broke perfectly.
Cheers erupted. The boy closest to the podium nervously checked the bowl.
“Th-There’s no eggshells at all,” he said. “And it’s already mixed!”
“No freakin’ way,” I said. That was impossible.
Amid the applause, Haruna closed her eyes and looked up at the ceiling. She was soaking in the praise to her core.
“Wasn’t that a three-point shot just now?”
“No. It wasn’t just a normal three-pointer.”
“What?”
“Chef Haruna took the shot from a meter further back.”
“The NBA line,” Anderson muttered in perfect native pronunciation. He was definitely not Japanese.
The crowd’s favor swung toward Haruna. Even Mihara and Anderson sided with her. At this point, nobody doubted Haruna’s victory.
“Wow! Master, you’re amazing!” Tomonori’s eyes sparkled as she looked at Haruna. She didn’t even seem upset. If Haruna were in Tomonori’s place, she’d have been sulking by now.
Then, something happened. A venomous snake somehow slithered into Tomonori’s bowl.
“Whoa! A snake!”
Every student around Tomonori scattered and backed away.
“I saw it! When Chef Haruna made that three-point shot, she snuck the snake in with a behind-the-back pass.”
“Stop making stuff up. She shot with both hands.”
Students shouted from the sidelines.
“Haruna, be honest. Did you put it in?” I pressed, a little angry.
She just whistled air, looking off in another direction. She couldn’t be more obvious.
“Haruna.”
“Don’t worry about it, Aikawa,” Tomonori said. “It’s disrespectful to doubt the master.”
“But…”
“I’ll just start over from scratch.”
She clearly got sabotaged, but Tomonori didn’t seem bothered at all. Or she was just too nice to realize it. Or maybe… no, she was just dumb.
“What is up with her?” Haruna looked annoyed.
Humming to herself, Tomonori cooked eggs in a frying pan while Haruna watched with her arms crossed.
Then it happened! The venomous snake, covered in egg, appeared at Haruna’s feet! Danger for Haruna! What would happen next?!
“Chef Haruna!”
A fierce battle broke out, like a mongoose versus a cobra. Haruna floundered on the floor.
“Master! Are you okay?” Tomonori reached out to help but froze when the snake hissed sharply.
“Don’t worry about me. Just cook the egg!”
“Master.” Tomonori’s chest tightened.
Shaking my head, I said, “Tomonori, the egg’s burning.”
She flipped the eggs immediately. “Huh? Ah, they’re already burnt!”
“Hang in there, Chef Haruna!”
“You got this!”
Cheers for Haruna filled the room. She had been locked in a deadly struggle with the snake, her apron covered in egg.
“I guess I’ll just start over again,” Tomonori said, slumping in defeat.
Haruna stood up straight and dusted off her hands. “Okay. Done.”
Wait, did she stage all that just to burn Tomonori’s eggs? What a devil. Wait, when did she finish cooking those eggs?!
“So this is what it means to put your life on the line for rolled omelet.”
“The heat from the deadly battle with the venomous snake cooked Chef Haruna’s eggs.”
There was nothing but idiots in the crowd.
Haruna triumphantly placed her hands on her hips and puffed out her small chest. Her cowlick bobbed.
“You all should definitely try this once.”
“Like we could!”
It wasn’t about the snake. How the hell could anyone actually make rolled omelet with that method?
So there they were, two types of rolled omelet side by side. Tomonori’s was burnt, while Haruna’s shone a beautiful golden color.
Just then, the class teacher—who had pretty much abandoned duty, a.k.a The Void Swallowed Exdeath![2]—came by to check.
“Oh? You’re done. Let me see.”
No one stopped him as he popped a bite of Haruna’s rolled omelet into his mouth. His eyes widened. “Who made this? She’d make a fine wife.”
Sorry, Teach, she wouldn’t. She was hopeless at everything else around the house.
Then, the students pulled out their chopsticks. Everyone reached for Haruna’s rolled omelet. Nobody touched Tomonori’s burnt mess.
“Yum!”
“It’s like my tongue’s become a different creature.”
“My whole body’s tingling!”
It received critical acclaim.
“Naturally. It’s so good I want to feed it to that negamancer!” Haruna laughed like she’d conquered the world, hands on hips.
No one ate Tomonori’s eggs, and Haruna emerged the victor. Understandable. It didn’t matter who she was up against; I doubted Haruna would lose in a cooking contest.
Tomonori, who looked like she might be upset, instead said, “Delish! That’s my master. She’s just too good.” She had already forgotten the competition.
Soon, everyone in the class reached for the rolled omelet, and Haruna’s dish vanished in no time.
“You idiots! Ayumu hasn’t eaten yet!” Haruna roared.
“I have them all the time, so I’m good.”
“This one’s different. It’s nega omelet! You have to try it.”
An omelet she had improved for Eu. So that was it. She’d been thinking, in her own way, about how to keep Eu from leaving.
“Then just make it again.”
“Hmph. Next time, you better eat it, ‘kay? Then tell everyone how good it is, got it?”
“Of course I will.”
“Good!”
“Master! How’s mine? I made it for you!” Tomonori offered her burnt rolled omelet with a smile.
Haruna took a bite. She crossed her arms, her cowlick rippling.
“Six.”
“Six?”
“Six hundred thirty-five points.”
“Out of how many?!” The sixty of us bellowed in unison.
“Not fluffy enough. Overmixed. Too much cream. Too much broth,” Haruna grumbled. “But I like it. So 1,635 points.”
“Ah, but it’s not finished yet.” Tomonori poured Caesar salad dressing over it.
Haruna took a bite of Tomonori’s finished omelet and let out a long groan. “From 1.5 to 2.0.”
“That’s a massive drop!”
“I-I did it, Aikawa. 2.0’s practically a perfect score on an eye test.”
“This isn’t an eye test. How are you that positive?”
“Ugh, enough! I’m drilling you from scratch. What’s your name?”
I was stunned. Haruna actually asked for someone’s name? Did that mean she acknowledged Tomonori? Good. Maybe now she’d quit the harassment.
And so, cooking class wrapped up without incident.
Lunch break rolled in, and we split into groups to enjoy what we’d made.
“Here. This one’s for you, Ayumu,” Haruna said.
“Oh? The one you made for Eu?”
“This one’s for you. I studied books from this world to get it right.”
I see. Haruna was skilled enough to tailor flavor to the person. Let’s see here.
Mmm, Mandom.[3] A refined taste. A touch more bitterness than usual, but it worked. Unlike Sera’s cooking, Haruna’s was something I could safely—ghk!
“Aikawa!”
I spat out everything in my mouth and collapsed forward.
“Ayumu? Ayumu! Huh? I followed this exactly.”
She showed me the title of the book she’d used: How to Knock Them Dead Instantly.
On the cover, a bald man in a suit and sunglasses was hiding behind a corner with an assault rifle.
Th-The book used knock them dead to literally mean kill.
Ah, crap.
When I cracked my eyes open, the familiar ceiling of the nurse’s office stretched above me.
This one was entirely my fault. I never thought Haruna’s cooking, not Sera’s, would be the one to take me down.
I pushed myself upright and spotted Haruna asleep, leaning over me.
“Haruna.”
“Wah! Ayumu, when did you wake up?!” She shot up, eyes barely open. “You didn’t do anything weird to me, did you?”
“I could ask you the same thing.”
“Oh, I made apple bunnies. Eat it, ‘kay?”
It was a perfect rabbit, so precise it looked like a piece of fine woodcraft. Haruna really was a genius when it came to food.
Which only made me wonder: why did that same genius make food as deadly as Sera’s cooking?
When I asked, her cowlick drooped.
“That’s… your fault.”
“What’d I do?”
“Because you went on a date with her! I was gonna knock you dead.”
“You didn’t have to poison me. If you’ve got a problem with me, just do what you always—”
“That’s not it! Don’t get the wrong idea, ‘kay?”
“I know. You’re not jealous at all.”
“See? You are getting it wrong.”
“I didn’t catch that. If you’ve got complaints, say them clearly.”
Haruna went silent, sulking.
Good grief. What time was it, anyway? I pulled out my phone. Fifth period had just ended. I’d been out for a while.
With Sera’s cooking, I was left completely immobilized, but this time I could move again almost right away. Which meant her food was even deadlier than poison. I’d better keep that in mind.
Still… Haruna’s misunderstanding was its own problem.
“If it hadn’t been me, you might’ve killed someone,” I said. “Try to think more before you act next time.”
“I… will.”
She was surprisingly meek. I’d expected a “Shut up!” or a topic change.
“I’m very sorry.”
“Good thing I’m a zombie.”
“Yeah. But… I really just wanted you to enjoy it.” She looked ready to burst into tears.
I gave her head a light smack. She stiffened with a tiny squeak.
“Now we’re even.”
I put on a faint sneer and patted her head.
“Yeah… sorry.”
Had Haruna ever apologized this honestly before?
I had no idea what was going through her head right now. Zombies aren’t mind readers. But I knew one thing.
Somewhere along the line, she’d grown into someone who could do the normal human stuff.
Very impressive. I couldn’t have managed that ever.
1. A reference to Hisashi Mitsui’s line in the Japanese manga series Slam Dunk.
2. Exdeath is the main antagonist of the 1992 Square role-playing video game Final Fantasy V.
3. A famous tagline from a 1970 men’s cosmetics commercial starring the late Hollywood actor Charles Bronson.