Don’t You Ever Forget. Potatoes… Are Part of the Nightshade Family – Part 01

Haruna looked scared. Of course she was. The sight before us was terrifying.

Even during evacuation drills, the students never came out into the hall this neatly. The narrow hallway was packed tight with people sporting cat ears and rabbit ears.

What the hell was going on? What kind of event was this?

“She got me! Completely! It’s all that bitch’s doing!”

I couldn’t tell what Kyouko was so upset about.

I picked her up, still bound. We had to get out of here.

“This is said to be the most horrifying curse among Big Teach’s magic.”

Haruna trembled and clung to my shirt. It wasn’t the same kind of shiver she had when facing Megalo. Did she have some kind of PTSD about animal ears?

“Big Teach’s?” I said.

“Yeah. A Magiclad Weapon is meant to let anyone, even men who can’t use magic, easily cast advanced spells,” Kyouko muttered.

“So this is the power of the Magiclad Weapon?”

As someone who’d seen the real thing, it felt off.

“That’s right. I was tricked. She’d technically created a weapon that attacks indiscriminately. But it’s actually just a failed prototype. I never thought this would happen.”

So this was an unintended result. Well done, Big Teach.

“But this curse is vicious,” Kyouko went on.

I didn’t feel scared. It just gave people animal ears, right?

“This curse slowly turns humans into animals,” Haruna said.

“That sounds kind of cute.”

“You idiot! It’s only ears now, but eventually they’ll become real animals. And once that happens, they’re done for. We have to run, Ayumu! Just coming into contact with them will get you infected.”

“Is it really that dangerous? Is there a cure?”

“Culture created by humans that even animals understand. You play them music. Laughing works too, but if even one infected person remains, it’ll spread again. Music covers a wider area and is easier.”

What a dumb idea. But we had no other choice.

I looked around. The boys had started fighting. They growled, spread their arms wide, and lunged at each other, behaving just as their dog ears suggested.

I carried Kyouko and ran with Haruna toward the music room.

Chasing was an animal instinct. The animal-eared people pursued us.

“Hey, Aikawa! Hands off my boobs!”

Shut up for a sec.

“Ayumu, you perv! Gatekeeper of Edinasty Castle!”^[1]

Stop attacking me.

“Damn it. How many people have turned into animals?”

“I triggered it on the first floor,” Kyouko said. “Everyone there is probably infected by now.”

“But we’re on the second floor.”

“The curse particles float up through the air. Any class with its windows open will get airborne infections.”

So Villier’s curses were like biological weapons. The music room was on the fourth floor. I hoped it wasn’t contaminated.

I ran up to the third floor, heading toward my classroom. Hiramatsu was in the concert band. Please, everyone, be safe.

Clatter, clatter, clatter.

“Is everyone okay?!” I shouted as I threw the door open.

The students in the classroom stared at me, mouths hanging open.

“Ah, Aikawa. Go take your seat.” The bespectacled, gray-haired teacher pointed at my desk with a piece of chalk.

Laughter burst out across the room. God, this was embarrassing. Still, it looked like my class was safe.

“Hiramatsu! I need a word!”

“Huh? Me?” Hiramatsu turned red and tensed up. Probably ‘cause an embarrassing guy like me just called for her.

“If we don’t do something, everyone’s gonna turn into animals.”

My explanation got another wave of laughter. I wasn’t here to do a comedy routine.

Holding Kyouko under one arm, I walked over to the front of the teacher’s desk where Hiramatsu sat and grabbed her arm.

“Please. I need your help, Hiramatsu.”

The desperate look on my face only made the laughter worse.

“Aikawa, we’re in the middle of class,” the teacher chided.

Good thing they weren’t the strict type. I had no time to listen to anyone else right now.

“It sure is hot in here,” said the guy behind my seat, the one in charge of the curtains, as he slid the window open.

“You idiot! Don’t open it!”

Before Haruna’s warning could reach him, the window was already open.

Thump, thump, thump, thump.

With the beat of a drum, ears began sprouting from the top of my classmates’ heads.

Like flipping Othello pieces from the corners, cat ears spread from one end to another. The newly-eared students pounced on the nearest people, and the transformation spread at an alarming speed.

“This is bad! Ayumu, hurry!”

I grabbed Hiramatsu’s hand and bolted out of the room.

“My trademark! Nooo!” Orito’s scream echoed behind us. Two of his spiky hair strands had turned into giraffe horns. They looked great on him, actually.

Hiramatsu’s skirt snagged, and she tumbled to the floor. Yanked her too hard, I guess.

I reached to grab her again, but a flash of pink panties caught my attention for a split second. Damn it.

“Ayumu!” Haruna pulled me forward before I could grab her hand.

We just barely managed to get out of the classroom. From behind the door Haruna had shut, a chorus of cute animal cries drifted out.

“Haruna, what about whistling?” I asked.

“If you can keep it up for minutes straight, it might work.”

“Minutes, huh. That’s a tough ask.”

“I could do it,” Kyouko said with a smirk.

And she’d ask to be let go first, so I ignored her.

We had no choice but to head for the music room on the fourth floor. Hopefully there wasn’t a class in there today.

Just as we moved, the door of the neighboring classroom slid open.

Out stepped Tomonori, with cat ears. Her hands were now soft little cat paws. The curse was advancing fast.

“Not Tomonori!”

Anderson lumbered out into the hallway like a bear, followed by Mihara with a tail swishing behind her. From my own classroom came Orito with giraffe horns, Hiramatsu with rabbit ears, and even the teacher, now a monkey, hopping into the hall.

“It’s too late for them! Move, Ayumu!”

God damn it! I wasn’t letting them all turn into animals.

We sprinted toward the music room, not glancing to the side or looking back, just running straight forward.

The door was shut. And locked, which meant it wasn’t in use. A shred of hope.

I forced it open with zombie strength and got us inside. The room was empty—just a blackboard, a piano, and those creepy portraits people claimed moved their eyes at night.

Where were the instruments again? Right, the prep room next door.

“Haruna!”

“Where’s the melodica?!”

“High school music rooms don’t usually—wait.”

Kyouko laughed. “I can play the piano, you know?”

“I wasn’t talking to you.”

“I’ll check another room.”

Unable to stay still, Haruna darted out of the music room.

“Eek!”

“What happened?!”

“Ayumu! Don’t open this door, no matter what! It’s… too late.”

“Haruna!”

“Ayumu. I’m about to lose… all sense of reason. Before that happens, there’s something I have to tell you.”

“Haruna.”

“Don’t you ever forget. Potatoes… are part of the nightshade family.”

“Uh… okay.”

Nightshade, huh. She really just wanted to get that out.

“The firefly squid belongs to the family Enoploteuthidae, which in Japanese is fake firefly squid.”

“Wait, what? What does that mean?”

What happened to the real firefly squid?

“And the negi in negitoro doesn’t mean green onion. It’s… ah!”^[2]

Haruna! Tell me what it means!

“I guess you have no choice now but to make a deal with me,” Kyouko said.

The last thing I wanted was to play into her hands. What now? What could I do?

Right, there was still one person I could count on. I pulled out my phone and dialed a number.

“Hello, this is the Aikawa residence.”

It was home, and Sera picked up.

Perfect. She could play beautifully, and for better or worse, there was a violin at home.

I explained the situation and asked for her help.

“No.”

Bruh.

Not the answer I expected. The hero who always swooped in at just the right moment wasn’t coming this time.

“My comrades… I mean, there are conservative Vampire Ninjas at your school.”

Right. If she ran into one, they might kill her.

“Please.”

“No.”

“You’re the only one I can count on. Help me. Help Haruna.”

“I’m sorry. Let me think about it.”

“Sera… please. Sera.”

The call cut off.

Damn it. No… she’d come. She had to.

“It’s hot in here. Could you take this off for me?” Kyouko said.

“Just suck it up. A little sweat suits you just fine.”

Like seduction would work on a zombie. Her tits were way too big for her face anyway. I was used to Sera’s perfection. No way I’d be swayed by—gulp.

Man, tiddies are the best. No! Focus!

This was not the time to think about that. Who cares about nice tits?

People were suffering. They were turning into animals and boobies. I had to boob something!

Maybe I should help her take it off. Poor girl. Yeah, yeah. Boobs, boobs.

---

1. A reference to Edina Castle in Dragon Quest III.

2. Negitoro is a Japanese dish of minced raw tuna made from toro (the fatty parts of tuna), which is served with negi (green onion). However, in the 2000s, a hypothesis emerged that suggested that the name comes from negiru or negitoru, a term that refers to the removal of soil during construction projects to create space for foundations. In the context of the dish, the term is said to refer to meat being scraped. While tuna fishing groups support this hypothesis, dictionary editors question it and claim there is no verifiable usage of negitoru in this way, and thus the hypothesis cannot be sustained.