I Like… Penguins – Part 01
I Like… Penguins – Part 01
I Like… Penguins – Part 01
When I came to, I was just powder.
Where am I? A river? I must be underwater.
I was so thoroughly reduced to dust that I wasn’t even sure if my brain was still intact.
When my arm got torn off before, I had to go get it back. But what should I do if I got reduced to smithereens like this?
Right now, I was nothing but a collection of tiny particles. Zombies really don’t die easily, huh. Did this mean my journey to find all my scattered body parts was about to begin?
Now that was just stupid. It would be a longer trip than searching for the Shikon Jewel shards.[1]
The blue light felt warm. What was this soothing glow? Since becoming a zombie, I’d avoided light, but sometimes it was nice.
As I wondered what to do, I felt something merging. This was the same feeling I got when my severed limbs healed.
Was this blue light gathering my flesh and bones? Somehow, I felt that was exactly what it was doing.
Ah, that’s right. This must be the power of the Life Orb.
Relieved, I lost consciousness again.
The next time I woke up, I was gasping for air, frantically flailing in the water.
I had arms. I had legs. I was completely naked, sinking in the water.
I felt like the Terminator,[2] except I had a mind of my own, and I felt very embarrassed.
People of the Earth, give me air! A little will do. Please share your air with me![3]
The water was surprisingly shallow, and I managed to break the surface quickly.
The moon wasn’t out. Or maybe the air was so polluted I couldn’t see it.
It was pitch black, but for a zombie like me, it felt no different than daytime.
Floating, I looked around and realized the place was fenced in.
This must be a pool. A school pool, no less. What a strange place to end up in. I didn’t know which school, though.
For now, I climbed out onto the poolside. My whole body felt soggy, but I didn’t see any obvious injuries.
I jumped over the fence and scanned the area, heading for the school gate.
Thanks to a clock on the school building, I saw it was 3 a.m.
3 a.m., naked at a school pool. If anyone saw me, I’d 100% be labeled a creep.
Knowing where I was was the priority. I checked the school’s name and figured out the address. I’d been blasted to about two stations away.
Man, times like this made me wish I were a ninja.
All right. Time to run.
Hah… hah.
How was that for zombie endurance? I ran two stations in three minutes! Maybe I could qualify for the Olympics, if they had a night division.
Man, I was wiped out. Running naked made this a very tense marathon.
I opened the front door. At least, I tried to. It was locked. Why?
I rang the doorbell once, but there was no sound from inside.
I circled the house, looking around. No sign of Haruna or Sera. The living room was blocked by curtains, so I couldn’t see in.
Wait, the bathroom light was on. Peeking in, I saw a familiar cowlick.
Oh, she was just in the bathroom.
“Hey, Haruna. Open the front door.” I kept my voice low so I wouldn’t disturb the neighbors.
Haruna poked her head out. “Gyaaah!”
Her scream hit my zombie eardrums directly. Horror movie directors would be impressed.
“Pervert! There’s a pervert out here!”
Quiet! Haruna, quiet! Not even finding a unicorn would make you yell like that.
“Haruna, it’s me! Calm down!”
“How am I supposed to calm down?!”
She turned on the faucet to drown out the trickling sound.
“Just go away already, ‘kay?!”
“I’ll be waiting… at the front door.”
“What are you, a high school girl on graduation day?!”
I slipped around to the front, grabbed the doorknob, and waited. The moment I heard the lock click, I yanked the door open and darted inside faster than a cheetah.
“I’m home, Haruna,” I said, spreading my arms with a bright smile.
“Don’t spread your arms! Cover yourself! Why are you naked?! Even a Kaio-ken x20[4] doesn’t strip you down that much!”
She turned away and pulled something from the umbrella stand. Every hair on my body stood on end.
I’d completely forgotten. The umbrella stand had two katanas, Big Teach’s Magigear.
Haruna took a wide stance with the swords like she was Estark.[5]
“You damn pervert! Hornynoa Whore-o!”[6]
Compared to Sera’s swordplay, Haruna’s form was sloppy. I could’ve swatted her attack aside with my bare hands.
Heh. Too easy, Haruna. In my current state—Aaah! She stabbed me!
“I can read your moves, Ayumu. Don’t think you can dodge my attacks.”
What?! Well… yeah. If she could perfectly learn Kyouko’s fighting style, she probably had my habits memorized after living together for a while.
“All right, then. Can you tell what I’m about to do?”
I spread my arms and curled my fists slightly. She was probably trying to predict whether I’d come from the right or left. Heh heh heh. I’d fake her out and press my hips in instead.
“You’re pretending you’re gonna punch, then do something dirty.”
She… got it right.
“I’m sorry.”
“Just go put on some clothes, ‘kay?”
“I’m sorry.”
Covering my crotch, I slumped and headed upstairs.
“And one more thing,” Haruna said softly.
I looked back. “What is it?”
“Welcome home.”
There stood a very cute girl.
I changed and headed to the living room. Haruna and Sera were there, along with Big Teach.
So they’d been waiting for me all along.
“I’m glad the Life Orb activated properly,” said the girl with long hair tied into pigtails. She put her hands together with a big smile.
“You and me both,” I said, then glanced at Sera. “What about Eu?”
“I’m sorry. She disappeared into the mist,” she replied. That ability was still a headache.
“Big Teach, are you okay? You were locked up all this time, right?”
“Hmm… I really wanted to die since I had to wear the same underwear the whole time, but other than that, it was fairly comfortable,” she said.
“Do you know where he went?”
“Who knows? Even if I did, you wouldn’t stand a chance against him.”
“You think you could?”
“With my Magigear, yes. We made it out pretty easily, no?”
Easily, she says. Well, she had fought evenly against him and Kyouko, so I guess a one-on-one wouldn’t end differently.
“I’ll take him down,” I said with a sharp glare. Big Teach laughed with delight.
If I wasn’t strong enough to defeat him, Eu wouldn’t trust me even if I said I’d protect her no matter what.
“Hehe. I knew you’d say that,” Big Teach said. “Now, Ayumu, here’s a problem. I was forced to make fourteen of those magic bombs.”
“You mean the duds?”
“No, no. The ones with the explosive spell.”
“That’s a lot. He used two already… so twelve left.”
“Yes. Unless we find them, things could still get really messy even if we tracked him down.”
“Then first, we need to locate them.”
“I’ll gather the Magiclad Girls and handle that.”
“I also… filed a report with the Vampire Ninjas,” Sera added, looking a little worn out.
“All right, we should—”
“Before that, I have a proposal,” Big Teach cut me off. “While we search for all the magic bombs, I think we should have you do some training.”
“A training under Big Teach herself? That’s amazing, Ayumu!” Haruna’s eyes shone, her cowlick standing at full attention.
“Sounds great,” I said. “All right, let’s get started right away.”
“You’re not going to rest first? Don’t let my looks deceive you. I’m strict, you know?”
“I rested enough in the water. Let’s head to the cemetery.”
“I’m coming, too.”
Haruna rose, but I raised a hand to stop her.
“You get some food ready. I wanna eat your cooking”
I wanted to talk with Big Teach alone.
1. The Shikon Jewel shards are broken pieces of the Shikon no Tama (Sacred Jewel) from InuYasha, a Japanese manga and anime series created by Rumiko Takahashi.
2. The Terminator is a cybernetic assassin from the seminal science-fiction franchise, Terminator.
3. A reference to the line spoken by Goku in Dragon Ball Z, GT, and Super to gather vast amounts of energy for his signature move, the Spirit Bomb.
4. Kaio-ken (Fist of the King of Worlds) is a technique invented by King Kai in the Dragon Ball series.
5. Estark is a recurring monster in the Dragon Quest series and an antagonist in Dragon Quest IV.
6. A reference to Roronoa Zoro, a central character in One Piece.