The Demon Lord’s a Highschooler!

1.

“I apologize if I’ve offended you,” I said to Miss Cielz.

Even if what Tiamat had said was logical, it was also true that I had spoken carelessly. Being stubborn and refusing to apologize wouldn’t do me any good here.

“At this point, I still think there is time to resolve things with discourse. Matters haven’t expanded beyond Noura yet.”

As time would go on, casualties would grow. Along with that, the room for negotiation or reaching an understanding would rapidly shrink. Then it would be too late. All that would be left is a brawl to the death between humans and monsters. And this time, there would be no hero to save humanity. I didn’t know how the god on-site planned to resolve the matter, but I doubted that it would summon yet another hero.

“...”

Miss Cielz stared back at me with skepticism. She seemed unsure of what I meant. To her, Hermits were enemies. It was natural for her to struggle to understand when a Hermit sounded like he was willing to negotiate.

“Or would you still prefer an encore of what happened a hundred and fifty years ago? This time, both sides may be wiped out.”

I felt like I was drilling in the same point a little too hard, but I had no other cards to play. I couldn’t demand a surrender with the threat of a powerful military nor oppress them with overwhelming financial control. As an average joe with no cheat codes to speak of, all I could do was speak to her sense of reason with sincerity.

“...I don’t.”

“You don’t. I don’t either. Because of that, I believe that we have at least one chance for a conversation.”

“You want an audience with our ruler?”

“I do.”

“But I’m just a bottom-rank soldier.”

The dark elf smirked. Combined with her black skin and black eyes, her expression looked extremely sinister. However, even my dull brain could pick up that both her claim and her attitude were an act. I couldn’t believe that a private would have the authority to kill the leader of one of their battalions.

“In that case, you can simply take us to your headquarters.”

“...”

“If that will put you in danger, Miss Cielz, you only have to tell us where it is.”

I didn’t say anything about her act. I found no pleasure in pointing out the shortcomings of others, and I would gain nothing from calling her out on her lie in this situation. I didn’t want to trick or kill the Demon Lord, after all.

“...You won’t chide me for my dishonesty?”

“We’re asking for an audience with the leader of a group that opposes us. I don’t expect to be welcomed with open arms.”

“...You are a strange man, Eiji.”

Miss Cielz smiled. Yep, I thought she was much more charming with a smile than a frown. I returned the smile.

“So? Make a decision already. Are you going to take us there or not?” Tiamat interjected, rather unpleased.

Oh? Could it be? Was she jealous? How cute. I glanced at Tiamat with a self-satisfied grin, when, smack!

“Aghhh!”

Out of nowhere, a dragon’s tail struck the top of my foot.

Five days had passed since we said our goodbyes to Mister Dolitos and the city of Wulds and started traveling eastbound. We went in and out of the forest and the travel road. We carried on, following Miss Cielz’s navigation through the obviously roundabout route. Just when I was beginning to worry about how little food we had left on Mister Donkey, we came to a clearing with a stronghold in the distance.

“...The abandoned castle of Gannes...” Ruey uttered softly.

“You know this place?” I asked.

“Only through rumors. The Demon Lord annihilated many nations and cities. The city-state of Gannes was one of them.”

That was over a hundred and fifty years ago. No accurate records were kept, and those who survived to see it happen were long gone now. Apparently no one even knew its accurate location until now. Still, Ruey knew of the city-state because it was located within the current Noura territory.

“It all happened when a single rat appeared in the castle one day. I was told that no one in the castle nor the city survived the night.”

Ruey rubbed his neck as if to calm his goosebumps. That sounded just like a scary story. And not a good one.

“If not a single person survived, I wonder who told that story.”

I shrugged. Scary stories with impossible premises aren’t hard to find. For example, the story of a female ghost that appears in the Tsukioka hot springs in Niigata prefecture was once described in a book by the (now deceased) paranormal researcher Iwao Nikura.

Apparently the ghost was named Michi, and she was from the Edo period. She was a servant at Echigoya, a supplier of goods for merchant ships during the time. She fell in love with the heir of the business, Seitaro. Of course, a servant and the soon-to-be-owner of a large business lived in different worlds. Everyone around them furiously opposed their union, naturally.

At their wits’ end, Shintaro and Michi eloped, hand-in-hand. After drifting through town after town, they finally arrived at Tsukioka hot springs. By that time, they had used up all of the money they had left. They were struggling to come up with each meal. Then Shintaro fell ill, and Michi was not in much better health herself. In the end, they chose the unthinkable.

With an oath to reunite in nirvana, they chose to commit shinju, or double suicide. But, even after death, they didn’t end up together. While Shintaro’s body was taken by his family that ran the goods-supply business and ceremoniously buried, Michi’s body was left ignored. In fact, her body was stomped on, spat on, and abandoned at the side of a road.

Who could blame her for holding a grudge? Accordingly, Michi’s spirit materializes out of her passion for Shintaro and her hatred for those who tore them apart.

“And that’s the story. What do you think, Tia?”

“A run-of-the-mill ghost story. Nothing seemed particularly noteworthy, maybe other than the overly specific background information. But isn’t that true for most ghost stories?”

“Even with your intellect, Tia, you didn’t pick up on the lies of this ghost story?”

“Lies?”

“Yep. The first lie is that no one used the word ‘shinju’ after the mid-Edo period.”

The use of another Japanese word by the same meaning, ‘aitaijini,’ was strictly enforced from that point on by the orders of Yoshimune, the eighth shogun. The word ‘shinju,’ on the other hand, was eradicated from public records from that point on.

The word ‘shinju’ is comprised of kanji that, when combined, become a kanji that means ‘loyalty.’ The top theory for explaining the shogun’s decision was that he really didn’t like having the kanji for loyalty broken up like that, but the verdict is still out.

“Hm. Then that ghost must have lived before Yoshimune.”

“That’s right, Tia. And that’s where the other lie comes in.”

Tsukioka hot springs did not exist on this planet before the Kyoho years of the Edo period (1716-1736) when Yoshimune ruled. It was in a quiet slumber deep below the ground. It wasn’t discovered until 1918, when a certain oil company struck it by coincidence during a boring attempt. In other words, it’s not some hidden hot spring that emerged out of nature.

“That means people only started living there after that.”

“That’s what happened. Tsukioka hot springs was just a hillside back in the Edo period. Not a place any human can walk right through.”

Even if someone did, through excessive effort, go and commit suicide there, their body would have been devoured by a carnivore or returned to dirt. No chance of coming back as a ghost, then.

“Astounding. The whole story’s a lie, from start to finish.”

“Like most ghost stories are. They’re not designed to make logical sense.”

“Then, it is a lie that Gannes was destroyed, Sir Eiji?”

Ruey, who had been curiously listening in on our conversation, crooked his neck.

“I think it’s true that it was destroyed.”

I saw no reason to doubt that, when not a single survivor had been found for a hundred and fifty years. In a single night, though? I was skeptical about that. It felt purposefully terrifying.

“Maybe the rumor was intentionally spread by someone.”

I glanced over at Miss Cielz.

2.

“Good read, Hermit.” The dark elf grinned. “This city was destroyed by vampires.”

“I see.”

It is traditional for vampires to take the form of a bat or a rat. And, according to the popular consensus, vampirism is infectious. If a vampire bites you, you become a vampire. An epidemic that makes the common cold or flu look like child’s play. The number of vampires would multiply like rats in a basement.

“I was told that it took ten days to seize control of the entire city.”

“That’s still a breakneck speed.”

A whole city-state gone in ten days. Actually, if all them turned vampiric, that was more like a whole city-state had turned to the enemy. I didn’t know the population numbers of Gannes at the time, but I could imagine that we weren’t talking about a hundred or two from the well-built castle and walls. If there had been a population of ten thousand, for example, that would mean an army of ten thousand vampires joining the enemy. How could anyone defeat that?

“Apparently, the vampires were decimated in an instant,” she cracked a self-deprecating grin.

“How did that happen?” I asked, with a surprisingly airheaded tone.

With one swing of Shizuru the Hero’s sword given to him by the god, a holy light enveloped the city of Gannes, turning every last vampire to dust. Ash to ash. Dust to dust.

I mean... That’s not really what a vampire hunter does, though, is it? It has to be, you know, more forbidden, and apocalyptic, and underworld. Like a certain Mister D. Isn’t that atmosphere what it’s all about?

What’s with the deus-ex-holy-light, dear brother?

He owed Hideyuki Kikuchi an apology.

“Well, no one goes into battle looking for atmosphere. It’s more efficient to take care of things as easily as possible.”

I did hear that both humans and monsters were nearing annihilation, back in those times. No time to find the romance in a war like that. I understood that, but imagining the residents of the city being robbed of their humanity without reason, then having even their vampiric lives evaporated in the blink of an eye... It seemed like they were just a number.

“That’s what war is, Eiji. How can anyone remain in their right mind without simplifying their enemy into mere numbers?”

The hero killed those monsters, one after another, as if he was performing a chore; I shuddered to imagine. Isn’t that a little much to bear for a boy, one who was high school-aged at the time? Of course, I had absolutely no idea who put that heavy weight on his shoulders.

“Maybe it was penance. For him bringing over rice.”

“Who knows? I can’t say what he was thinking. I never found out what was going through his mind or what he wanted.”

“...I’m sorry.”

Even after being transported to another world, she never saw her brother alive again. Nor found out what was on his mind. We could have tried to deduce it all we wanted, but we had no way to know if we were right or wrong.

“Nothing you should be sorry for or carry with you. He’s a stranger to you,” Tiamat said, somewhat keeping me at a distance.

It didn’t seem like she was upset but more... rigid, somehow. Like a wall that would never be weakened.

“You can’t carry it all. Let me take half. And I would love for you to carry half of my baggage too, Tia.”

“Mm. That doesn’t change the total weight at all.”

Two people collectively carrying the baggage of two people. Of course that won’t make it any lighter.

“Is that a no?”

“That was the plan when I took the ring. There’s no need to ask that now.”

She twirled her silver locks. It appeared that she was embarrassed. I, too, could feel my cheeks redden.

“...How long is this going to last, love birds?” Miss Cielz asked in a very disgusted tone.

The humans did stand victorious at the end of the great war that brought the world to the brink of destruction. That being said, it wasn’t like all of the monsters were massacred. There were a considerable number of them left after the Demon Lord’s demise, and the world had a rather serious problem on its hands when those surviving monsters began attacking towns and farmlands in hordes.

With no structure to speak of, humans had to deal with these groups of monsters individually. That proved to be troublesome in a different way. In fact, the government began dealing with bandits and monsters in the same manner. They deployed their military at times, and left the town watches and adventurers to deal with them at other times. While the monsters were a nuisance, they were no longer a national threat. They were merely prey to be hunted down.

However, not all monsters succumbed to that fate. Some accepted their defeat and went into hiding to wait for a time to strike: the dark elves like Miss Cielz and those described as Hellions. The abandoned castle of Gannes became their lair, where no one lived and no one would visit. A location well-suited to playing a long con.

Of course, if humans discovered their secret lair, there was a decent chance that they would be attacked. There were some tear-jerking efforts to conceal their lair, like spreading ghost story rumors and disabling the travel road that used to lead to the city. These efforts lasted a century and a half. Finally, the moment they had been waiting for had arrived.

“The resurgence of the Demon Lord.”

“Yes,” Miss Cielz answered Tiamat, briskly.

A little more than a month ago, the figure had suddenly appeared in the abandoned castle. They had hair as black as darkness itself and eyes as dark as the dead of night, along with overwhelming magic and combat prowess. Of course, the surviving monsters from the time of the previous Demon Lord didn’t immediately recognize them as a Demon Lord. They relied on power, not political stances nor ideals. A few of them challenged the Demon Lord, Miss Cielz being one among them.

“It wasn’t even a fight,” she said, and chuckled. “I was just a toy on a fingertip.”

As would be expected. That’s what a few cheat codes could do. No power or technique acquired after any amount of blood, sweat, tears, and hard work stood a chance against cheat codes. If I was in their place, it would have all seemed ridiculous. Why bother with hard work at that point? “If you’re so powerful, you take care of it all yourself,” I’d say. Although that wouldn’t be very noble of me.

“Our Lord’s wisdom, as well as power, is truly awesome.”

Miss Cielz continued as if in a trance. Her expression told of her adoration for the Demon Lord. I imagined that the followers of Shizuru the Hero were of similar states of mind. He was from modern-day Japan, after all. Of course he would have more advanced knowledge than the people of this world.

“That alone won’t cover it. Just being from modern-day Japan doesn’t explain the strategies those monsters took, Eiji.”

Tiamat reined me back as I was chuckling. Right. Japanese civilians had no knowledge of military strategy. Other than in theory, perhaps. Our last war was over seventy years ago. There were barely any alive in Japan who had experienced war firsthand, and none of them had experienced combat with swords and magic. How could anyone in that situation conduct capable strategies?

We weren’t in a video game or a movie. Even in the sci-fi novel G.I. Samurai, where the Japanese self-defense force time-travels to feudal Japan, the self-defense force was annihilated despite their state-of-the-art technology. Wait. Did one survive?

Anyway, war is not as easy of a craft as us civilians think. You don’t have a convenient screen that shows you the enemies’ stats or anything. Just deciding how many fighters to send to which battlefield requires a lot of forethought.

“Maybe the Demon Lord got a cheat code for military knowledge, too.”

“We should assume so,” Tiamat said. “If the knowledge was brought in, we could have had an idea of the ceiling, making our lives a lot easier.”

As we continued our conversation quietly, we were nearing the city gates.

“No need to keep your human form here,” Miss Cielz remarked, as sarcastic as always.

3.

Two humans leading a dragon, Fenrir, and Cait Sith. Plus a donkey. Such a party would draw so much attention walking through a human city, but not in Gannes. There were dark elves, Hellions, Demons, and even human-animal hybrids. It was like a melting pot of humanoid species. In fact, Ruey and I were the odd ones out.

...We weren’t about to get snatched and eaten, were we?

“...I don’t sense any ill intentions, Sir Eiji,” Ruey said after carefully observing our surroundings inconspicuously while pulling the donkey’s reins.

“I sense curiosity. Perhaps that dark elf—Cielz, was she?—may have a considerable position in the army.”

“That makes sense.”

She did have complete authority over the life of one of their battalion leaders. That was a display of the Demon Lord’s trust in her, as well as in her powers to complete the mission without fail and to not make any incorrect decisions. Considering that she was working solo, I could imagine how deep the trust ran.

Us bureaucrats, for example, generally don’t work on our own. We are always in a pair or a larger group. Alone we wouldn’t be able to recover well from mistakes nor would we have anyone to hold us accountable. Especially when handling any money, even pocket change, we would always be in a group of two or more.

By the same token, the Demon Lord was confident that Miss Cielz would never compromise her work nor make any mistakes, even when acting on her own. It may seem trivial, but this was important.

“Mm. If I left you alone, I would be worried sick that you might drop dead from anything.”

Tiamat threw this jab in. Well, I’m sorry you can’t trust me to survive on my own for even a minute.

Great. The rest of our party was nodding along now. Even Mister Donkey. I was no fool, so I didn’t rush in where angels feared to tread. Know yourself and know your enemy to survive a thousand battles.

“We would be at ease if you just chickened out to somewhere safe, but you always have to stick your nose into the frontline, Eiji.”

“Our tribulations may never end.”

Tiamat and Hieronymus chuckled at each other.

Oh, laugh it up.

We walked down the streets, all buddy-buddy. We were never stopped for any questioning or anything. We weren’t welcomed nor turned away. What an awkward feeling.

Eventually we reached the castle gates, where there wasn’t a single guard. Wasn’t this a little too naive of them?

“Cielz sent a Thought Speech, so the monsters are standing back. For now.”

Tiamat explained the trick for me. While I was grateful, Ruey was made a fool for keeping his guard up.

“In any case, I would not have let my guard down anyway.” The Earl’s heir smiled.

What a nice guy.

“This way. Our lord will see you.”

Paying no mind to our comedy routine, Miss Cielz led us down the wide hallway. Since the castle was originally built for humans, it might have been a little cramped for the large magibeasts, but the architecture still provided ample space. I nearly couldn’t believe that it was constructed over a hundred and fifty years ago. It seemed like it had always been properly maintained.

The giant doors opened without a sound, revealing a red carpet down the center of the space, leading to a set of steps that ascended to the throne. On said throne sat the current Demon Lord.

I spotted the black hair, as Miss Cielz had informed us. The silky straight hair, however, reached down to the middle of the Demon Lord’s back. The Demon Lord’s irises were black inside eyes that popped. All right. You know, I had expected the Demon Lord to be male. For some reason. I mean, it’s not rare in light novels for the Demon Lord to be a young woman.

She was clearly Japanese and probably high school-aged. She stared at us, expressionless. I would have appreciated some sort of surprise, or smile, or scorn. Being unable to read anything from her expression was pretty stressful.

Miss Cielz left our side and stood beside the throne. Perhaps that was her usual position. And there she went, whispering something into the Demon Lord’s ear. We, on the other hand, didn’t kneel nor look down. We didn’t serve her, and we never planned to.

“A pleasure to meet you. My name is Eiji.”

Still, I spoke with a pleasant tone. Not one I would address royalty with, but one I would use to ask a visitor at my office if I could help them with anything.

The Demon Lord had been staring at me as she listened to Miss Cielz’ report. Then, she suddenly spoke:

“Die.”

In an instant, I felt a stabbing pain. I gripped my left chest with my hand.

“Wha...?”

My mouth gasped like a suffocating goldfish. My vision was fading.

Am I going to die again? Already? But this time, it’s for real.

“A Kotodama. Elevated to a curse.”

Tiamat patted my back. That’s all she did. Then I could breathe easily and my chest pain vanished.

“Tia...”

“Don’t sweat it. I won’t let you die while I still stand.”

“...Does that apply if you’re on all four paws, Tia...?”

“You’re well enough to jest. Good. Stand back a moment.”

With that, she stepped forward, her tail slapping against the castle floor. That’s the way her tail moved when she was mad.

...How did I get to the point of reading her mood by how her tail moved? Isn’t it scary how far we can adapt?

“What was the meaning of that, lass?”

Tiamat’s tone was as cold as a gust of wind piercing through Sapporo in the dead of winter. Wind chills of negative 20 degrees Celsius. Uh oh.

Hurry up and apologize, Demon Lord!

“Shut up. You die, too.”

Another Kotodama.

“Did you not realize from our conversation that your words won’t affect me? Perhaps you’re the type that has to try anyway.”

Tiamat piled on, completely unbothered.

“Why...?!”

“It’d be a waste of time to keep doing the same thing, so I’ll explain. Magic-Proof, I believe it’s called. No magic, or curse, will affect me.”

She continued to approach the Demon Lord without a care.

“Don’t! Stop!”

“I won’t.”

I assumed that this command was also supposed to be magical. Despite Tiamat being completely unaffected by it.

“A little wild lass, are we? Trying to curse to death someone you’ve never met before.”

Right. ‘Wild lass’ was a lot, coming from a woman who had turned into a dragon.

“Gr... You...!”

A sword materialized in the girl’s hand. A pitch-black, really insidious-looking sword. With one move, she leaped from the throne and went to stab Tiamat. She was so fast that Ruey beside me let out a grunt in acknowledgment.

“Hmph.”

The dragon spun around. With velocity, her tail ripped into the Demon Lord’s side. The girl was blown away at a comedic speed, crashing into the wall of the throne room.

“You’re fast, but wide open. Stand, lass. I’ll make you pay for your attempted murder of my partner,” Tiamat announced to the Demon Lord crawling on the ground, looking down on her. She was so scary that I wasn’t sure which of them was the Demon Lord anymore.

The girl did not stand. She had let go of her sword, and had curled up with her head clasped in her hands. She seemed to be terrified by the overwhelming show of violence. I sympathized. There was something off about Tiamat as a creature.

“I said stand. Can’t you hear?”

The dragon approached the girl, who let out a quiet cry. The dragon’s enormous jaw gaped open, and moved closer to bite off the Demon Lord’s head...

4.

“I’m kidding.”

With that, Tiamat licked the Demon Lord’s face. I thought that must have been scary in its own right. She took the Demon Lord by the hand, who couldn’t move from her fetal position on the ground, and helped her up.

“Still, it’s not very nice to tell someone to die out of the blue.”

“...”

“There is some reason for it, I assume. Why don’t you tell us?”

Tiamat guided her by her hand some more and approached us. Tiamat seemed like a kindergarten teacher at the moment.

“Which do you prefer, cats or dogs?”

“...Dogs.”

“Mm. Baze. Won’t you come over here and help her stay up, please?”

“Sis, I... Okay, all right...”

The Fenrir, with an expression that said he had completely given up, laid down next to the Demon Lord. Wow. She just used a Fenrir like a stuffed animal.

The Demon Lord slowly leaned into him. I mean, his silver fur was really soft, so I was sure that it provided some sense of safety.

Please, Lord Baze. Don’t look at me like that. I can’t do anything to help you. I’m sorry.

“Now, why don’t you tell us your name? I don’t want to keep calling you ‘lass.’”

Then Tiamat introduced herself, much more genuinely than I did. Her skills as a school counselor were coming through.

“Rio Kodama. I call myself Leon here.”

“Understood. Now, Leon, we are not here to fight.”

Her tone was kind, as if to ease the tension between them. The Demon Lord nodded ever so slightly.

Ruey and Miss Cielz didn’t seem to be following the rapid turn of events. Obviously. The Demon Lord went berserk, then a dragon tore up the throne room. I would have given them the toughest constitution award if they had maintained their composure through all of this.

“We would like to discuss the future with you. But first, tell me about you, Leon. If you don’t want to talk in front of them, we’ll get them out of here.”

Tiamat winked. At me. Leave it to me, she was saying. I had no doubts about Tiamat’s handle on the situation. Acknowledging her wink, I urged our friends and the dark elf to exit the throne room with me, leaving Baze to be used like a couch.

Hang in there, Lord Baze.

Led by Miss Cielz once more, we moved to a guest room.

“...I never thought our lord could be so fragile,” she muttered, exhausted.

I thought it might be best for me to console her.

“It can’t be helped, given how young she is. Fifteen or sixteen, I presume. It would have been much stranger for anyone that age to act like a well-rounded adult.”

“Is she really?”

The dark elf looked astonished. From my knowledge pool of fantasy worlds, dark elves were a very longevous species. To her, a girl of sixteen must seem like a toddler.

“Most likely, Miss Leon is from the realm of dragons, like us. She’s a Hermit.”

“No, Sir Eiji. Our lord may appear to be human, but she has Hellion wings on her back and a rune on her abdomen. She can’t be a Hermit.”

That would make her a Hellion, apparently. ...How did she know about the rune? Did they take baths together, or something?

“Sometimes Hermits change forms when traveling to this world. Tia took the form of a dragon, for example.”

I explained the situation, more or less. Tiamat had requested her form, but I wasn’t sure how Leon the Demon Lord had acquired hers. Was it a form of her choosing or of the on-site god’s? I assumed that it was the latter. It wouldn’t have worked out for someone to remain human while being tasked to torment humans. Still, I was willing to bet that she wasn’t as out there as Tiamat, so she chose the most humanoid form.

“Now, I have a question for you, Miss Cielz.”

Why did the Demon Lord try to kill me out of the blue? It was so sudden. We hadn’t had enough interaction with each other for her to hate me. We hadn’t even held a conversation before. I didn’t think my life was so sinful that I deserved to be killed at first sight... I hoped.

“I don’t know,” Miss Cielz said, painfully.

She had whispered to Leon that we had come with no intention to fight, but to talk. Of course, she didn’t ask Leon to kill us or anything.

“Are you sure about that, you dark elf?”

Ruey glared at her. His complete distrust was written all over his face.

“Unlike humans, I don’t break a promise once I make it.”

Her glare met his, sparks flying. These two really didn’t get along. I suppose no one could have gotten along in their shoes.

“Now, now. If we can’t believe what Miss Cielz says, we can’t even begin to negotiate. That’s our starting point, Ruey.”

I calmed him down, holding up my palms. That being said, now Leon’s actions made even less sense. Trying to kill someone who came to talk without even hearing them out. She didn’t seem that aggressive of a person. In fact, she seemed like a quiet type of girl.

“She doesn’t act like she looks. I wonder what’s going on?”

Not that there aren’t people like that out there. There are loads of people that commit crimes while looking like they wouldn’t hurt a fly, and many people have an intimidating face but a heart of gold. While I kept thinking that the concept wasn’t a difficult one, I just couldn’t convince myself.

“She tried to kill me without batting an eye.” I shook my head a little.

We weren’t in Japan. Life was worth a lot less. While I knew that, it wasn’t something I could get over all too easily. In fact, I hadn’t killed anyone before, although I was bracing myself that such a thing could happen.

“I don’t get it...”

“Only natural. It’s a world you never would have come across.” Tiamat jumped in.

I looked around to find the beautiful dragon princess standing at the doorway to the guest room. She seemed to have walked right through the castle without so much as a guide. What a free-spirited woman she was.

“Tia. You’re done already?”

“She cried herself to sleep. I left her with Baze,” she said as she plopped down on the couch.

First thing’s first: I threw up a prayer for Lord Baze. He committed the ultimate sacrifice. Amen.

“A world I never would have come across?”

“Hm. Have you heard of the phrase ‘frozen eyes’ before?”

“No, I’m uneducated in that world, it seems.”

“It’s not a phrase anyone would hear or read if they are living an ordinary life. In short, it indicates abused children.”

“What?!”

“Habitually abused children gradually lose the ability to express emotions. Eventually, their eyes appear frozen, devoid of any light.”

Tiamat explained this, matter-of-factly. Eyes are the window to the soul, as they say, and when children are abused, they lose all emotions from their eyes.

“That’s why Leon...?”

“Mm. She was a victim of domestic violence in Japan. And so, frozen eyes. To confirm that, I had to play a mean trick.”

“Oh...”

She had defeated the Demon Lord with direct violence. Well, not even that. She just hit her with her tail. That’s all she had to do to make Leon the Demon Lord overcome with fear.

“What the hell...” I couldn’t help but groan.

I knew that children are abused. As a statistic. But had I really accepted that as a fact of the world I lived in? Had I not convinced myself that it was only happening on some distant planet?

“Does Leon want to annihilate the human race for revenge...?”

“Not sure. I doubt that she even has that much emotion left in her.”

“What...?”

“Their eyes don’t freeze while they still have a drive for revenge.”

They lose emotions because they have forsaken everything. Even the will to live. But humans are creatures of emotion.

“Then... Why...?”

“I can’t be certain before I have more sessions with her. But I suspect she did it because the god on-site asked. Nothing more.” Tiamat sighed.

Again? It was orchestrated by the god on-site, again?

“...That does it...”

I could feel my teeth grind into each other.

5.

Rio Kodama, the girl summoned by the god on-site, had been given the powers to rule over the monsters. Overwhelming magic, demonic charisma, the knowledge of military strategies, incredible physicality, etc., etc.

“It seems that even a god can’t change the deepest part of one’s heart.”

Tiamat sighed. The Demon Lord Leon was weak against direct violence. Even if being blown away by a dragon’s tail might have been fatal for a human, it apparently wouldn’t have done enough damage to the Demon Lord. I mean, I didn’t think too many Demon Lords out there would perish at the whack of a tail. Still, while said attack barely dealt any physical damage, Leon was left cowering.

“The actual damage output doesn’t matter,” Tiamat added.

What mattered was the flashback she endured. One of the typical symptoms of Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder. The tail attack must have revived her memories of being beaten. An attack with a sword or spell might have been different enough from her memories for her not to have a flashback.

“You knew that much before you attacked?”

“Just a deduction with no other way to prove it. When you’re in my business...” the dragon princess trailed off.

She’d seen it many times before, I’m sure. I gave a little nod. There wasn’t much I could do to mend the heart of Leon the Demon Lord. I wasn’t an expert.

“The problem is the god on-site.”

I changed the subject. What was the purpose of this sinister casting? Tiamat had said that Leon’s motivation wasn’t as simple as taking revenge upon humanity. That’s why things were complicated. A girl enacting a plan to end humanity without a shred of emotion. I felt something cold on my spine, and shook my head.

“With time, I don’t think it’s impossible to make peace with Leon. The real problem comes after that,” Tiamat said.

“Right...”

The god on-site had already tried to reignite the war between humans and monsters. I doubted that the god would give up so easily even if this particular attempt were to fail. Besides, this world was still plagued by our original problem: beriberi.

We weren’t even close to figuring out how to save this world. Burdening the food supply through war was actually a rather realistic approach. Beriberi drastically decreased in Japan during WWII as well. But that was the one option I could not accept. There is no way that a world can be saved by war.

“Mm. Then we only have one option.” Tiamat nodded, without mocking my personal dogma.

“We have to convince the Demon Lord to stop the war and explore how to save the world together.”

“If coexisting is impossible, what will we do?” Tiamat asked.

“Segregation, of course.”

My answer wasn’t creative or unique, but humans are only meant to coexist with other humans, at least if we’re talking about equal standpoints. Could any of us coexist with an uncaged lion or tiger? The lion can claim all it wants that it won’t eat the human, but the human won’t believe it. That’s why we cage our predators. We don’t coexist with them. They are our pets.

The same logic applied for monsters and humans in this world. Our values were too different not to start a war. Because of that, our most efficient solution at this point was to keep our territories separate from one another. The monsters would build their kingdom somewhere far away from where the humans lived.

While it was very possible that both sides would clash again once transportation methods evolved, that would have to be dealt with down the road. I didn’t have the skills to construct a plan that will last a hundred or a thousand years.

“And what specific plan are we enacting, Lord Eiji?” Hieronymus asked, waving his tail to and fro.

What I had just declared was a slogan and not a solution. If there wasn’t enough land, an attempt at segregation would turn into fighting over that land. It was out of the question for the monsters to take any land occupied by humans. Starting off with a grudge was not going to be good, anyway.

“Tia. Are there any bountiful lands around that aren’t inhabited by humans?” I asked Lady Tiamat, the omniscient tour guide.

“There is a plot of land that no man has touched that’s about the size of Ishikari plains.”

“That’s a huge plot of land, isn’t it?!”

About 3,800 square kilometers. It might be difficult to picture its size with just that number, but that was large enough to cover ten cities, including Sappporo, Ebetsu, and Iwamizawa. All of that land left untouched? It seemed like there was plenty of land to go around.

“Earth is vast, but not to humans. Neither is the expansive universe, in fact.”

Tiamat chuckled. While her explanation might be a little ambiguous, she meant that it didn’t matter to humans how vast a space was if they weren’t using it. Outer space was a realm reserved for highly trained professionals. For most, outer space might as well not exist. The most us commoners could hope for is imagining what could be up there among the stars.

“Then, all the monsters will immigrate there?”

“All monsters who wish to do so, Lord Hieronymus.”

It didn’t seem quite possible to move the entire monster population in a caravan. I expected a good number of them to refuse to leave their homeland, too.

“We might grow our strength in our newfound home in preparation to destroy humanity, Lord Eiji.”

Of course, it was Miss Cielz that interjected, teasingly. Ruey flashed a frown.

“That may become a reality. But not in the next fifty or a hundred years, I’m willing to bet.”

The challenge of humans and monsters coexisting was not a dire issue that required immediate resolution. That required a long process of trial and error, I figured, until they could see each other as anything other than beasts to be hunted down and mere prey.

“I only need to buy enough time for that to happen.”

“...You’re an idealist.”

“I can’t argue with that. Still, I believe that war is never the better option over peace. That is definitely one of the few truths in this world that the Dragon Realm has learned over the past seventy years.”

I am part of a generation that knows nothing but the peaceful and prosperous Japan. Of course, I know very well that my beloved homeland is far from a utopia. There’s a large class divide, and no one sees a difference in the supposedly improving economy. Crime is ever rampant, and the number of suicides grows every year. Political corruption is reported almost every day... Every news story only adds stress to our days. But still.

“I think it’s a million times better than being at war.”

I knew I sounded naïve, and that war did most likely drive the progression of our society throughout history.

“You solved the monster problem. Now you’ll ignore the danger this world is facing?”

Suddenly, a girl’s voice interrupted us. I turned to the entrance, a little surprised, to find Leon astride Baze. She was up... and apparently really liked the Fenrir. This Demon Lord couldn’t have used her own feet, at least within her castle?! Poor Baze was sulking, his snout down into the ground.

“I can’t ignore that. We plan to find effective foods in Noura, too.”

I shrugged, trying to avoid looking at Baze. In our journey so far, we had discovered that wild rice was effective at keeping beriberi at bay, and we had met people whose diets didn’t revolve around white rice. These were insights I hadn’t expected to gain. Now we were going to research seafood and bran, as planned.

“It’s always about food with you, isn’t it?”

“Well, our lives revolve around eating and sleeping. We can’t do anything if we don’t have a good foundation for those things,” I answered seriously.

These were serious matters. A brain surgeon acquaintance of mine had said that no illness can be cured without food and sleep.

“...Weirdo.”

Who’s weird, again?

“He is my betrothed, after all.”

Alas, I couldn’t even get a word of defense from Tiamat. Now the Demon Lord was nodding in agreement. There would be tears for this! ...My tears.

6.

We had managed to start our discussion with the Demon Lord, somehow. ...How did we get here, again? Leon was only tasked by the god on-site to bring about order to the world. That’s kind of vague. She wasn’t asked to destroy humanity nor to save the monsters. She just naturally took the side of the monsters since she had taken the form of a Hellion. This seemed inevitable; a Hellion couldn’t very well waltz around a human city without expecting any trouble.

“So, you started by waging war against our nation.”

Ruey grunted and crossed his arms. While he might not have liked it, this seemed only natural too. The ruin of Gannes was already inside Noura territory. However you slice or dice it, the first obstacle the monsters had to tackle would have been the kingdom of Noura.

“But you had no intentions of destroying Noura. You wanted to go north.”

Leon nodded at Tiamat’s confirmation. She went after that important port to access the travel roads.

“So you were already looking for a new land to settle in, Miss Leon?”

“Mm. That’s correct, Eiji.”

The plains to the far north, where no human had touched before. She had her eyes set on it from the very beginning.

“There would be no progress while we stayed in Gannes. Would have been too late if we waited,” the Demon Lord added matter-of-factly.

She meant that, if they had to fight eventually, she had to make a move while they still had the strength to win. Incredibly strategic for a highschooler. She had a good read on the future, and was decisive and even charismatic. I wished that she could be my boss.

“Was that the right strategy for them, Ruey?” I asked our only trained military personnel.

“I can’t really justify anyone forsaking their headquarters, Sir Eiji. However, the most terrifying thing about monsters is their ability to appear anywhere. It’s scary to know that they aren’t attached to Gannes.”

“Hm. I see.”

I crossed my arms.

“Why don’t you be honest, Eiji?” Tiamat asked.

“...I don’t see. At all.”

Well, could you blame me?! I was no expert!

“Well, no matter how well they try to hide it, Noura would have eventually found Gannes, like we did today. While we wouldn’t reach this conclusion this early into war, if we were to fight many more battles anyone would see that we’d have to strike their headquarters. There’d be no use trying to hide it then. As long as it was serving its function as a base, there’d have to be some manpower and resources going in and out of it.” Ruey broke it down for me.

All right. The city of Ebetsu, next to my hometown of Sapporo, tries to remain self-sufficient as much as possible, which means that they try to live off of things they make in the city. While that is a noble pursuit, it is difficult for that alone to cover all of the city’s needs. Many things have to be acquired from outside of the city. That’s economics.

“Once this location is discovered, a full-blown attack would follow. Then, Gannes would fall.”

“Wait, why? With all of the powerful monsters here?”

“There would be no need for combat. Once we trap them in and stop resources from going in, I believe the monster army would crumble on its own.”

“You’d starve them out!”

“I can’t say ditching your only headquarters is a good idea, but sometimes it’s required to stay hidden. If they already had a plan to find a new home, I could see merit in ditching the city and starting the move early. Like I said, monsters are truly formidable out in the field.”

Wow. It finally clicked. What a good teacher he’d make.

“...Weirdo,” the little Demon Lord mumbled.

You already said that. You know I can hear you, right?

“In any case, the quicker they get on the move the better, right?” I asked.

I got it. No more monsters around, no more battles. Perfect.

“We can’t.”

“Right, you can’t... Wait, why not?”

Leon chimed in so naturally that I couldn’t help but join in. How embarrassing.

“Since we couldn’t take Mostail, we’ll just be attacked if we go on the move.”

“Oof...”

I clasped my head. We did contribute in defending Mostail, after all. Now that war had begun, a band of monsters walking down a travel road like refugees would, of course, be attacked. What to do...?

“Help me, Tia-emon.”

“Stop being so pathetic in front of a teenager.”

Tiamat sighed as I easily resorted to begging for help. What was I supposed to do? I was not a strategist, nor did I have any knowledge of military action.

“No one is expecting you to have any. You have to use your talents to your advantage.”

“Oh!”

“Mm. We can negotiate with Noura with the recent turn of events in mind.”

The dragon princess laughed. The monster army attacked Mostail, only to be driven away by Eiji the Hermit and his companions. The Hermit’s party followed the monsters to their headquarters; there they negotiated with the Demon Lord and secured a promise to leave the kingdom of Noura. That’s our story.

If we could get the kingdom of Noura to swallow this, there would be no more bloodshed. There was the issue of reparations for the war, but maybe giving the castle of Gannes to Noura would take care of that. I wasn’t sure.

Of course, there is always an element of give and take in negotiations. Logic alone won’t cut it. Pinning the opponent down to the ground doesn’t count as negotiating. In fact it would be a miracle if such a thing could change one’s mind.

“I think we can do it...?”

I nodded, calculating our next moves in my mind. First we would save Noura from warfare, then from beriberi.

“Then it’s settled. Our next destination is the capital of Noura,” Hieronymus concluded.

Still, we couldn’t very well leave the same day we had arrived. For the night, we had decided to find lodging in Gannes.

“Domestic violence is actually a rather serious issue,” Tiamat said, as she sprawled out onto the bed.

It was well into the night, and she and I were once again sharing a room.

“Even I know that is a serious issue.”

“Mm. That’s why you’re not sure how close you can get.”

“Yeah.”

Generally, I try to speak to others in a polite manner, almost out of habit. At my job, a little informality could swiftly get me in trouble. That being said, I speak frankly to my coworkers, and, of course, to my friends and girlfriend.

As for Leon, I was having a tough time deciding how to speak to her. She was the same age as Syfer and Ruey, but I couldn’t exactly speak to her the same way I did to them. I hadn’t interacted informally with Miss Cielz, who serves Leon. Ordinarily I should keep things businesslike, regardless of age, since we were on opposite sides.

Now, it was a problem that Leon had been abused. It was a sensitive issue, and I had no firsthand experience. I was never struck by my parents nor was I ever bullied in school. I just knew about these things like something I read in a book. Even when I tried to get close, I felt myself being fake, somehow. I couldn’t tell how best to speak to her.

“That’s all right. You can’t be in her shoes. Neither can I, of course.”

Tiamat was being vague, but I understood the gist.

“I don’t really know how to act around a teenage girl, either. I don’t think it’s right to treat her like I do Syfer or Ruey.”

Those were boys. They could take a little less delicate treatment.

“That’s what we call sexism in our field of work. Just treat them the same.” Tiamat chuckled.

“Really?”

I was asking about the second half of her statement, by the way. It didn’t really matter how I spoke to Syfer or Ruey.

“Walk on eggshells around her and you’ll only hurt her worse. It’s imperative that you don’t treat her like an outlier.”

“Okay. I’ll keep that in mind.”

“Now, it’s a crime if you flirt with her.”

“I won’t! She’s a highschooler!”

“And with Cielz?”

“...I won’t.”

“I won’t ask why it took you longer to answer.”

The dragon princess teased me and stretched her jaws open in a yawn.

7.

It was early in the morning. As we were packing up to leave, we had visitors to our room: Leon and Baze. Did they sleep together the night before?! What a lucky guy you were, Lord Baze! So jealous! I wished them a lifetime of happiness!

“Boss Man... Sis...”

A voice boomed like it was coming from the bowels of the earth. Apparently he wasn’t in the mood to accept my congratulations. Yep. I already knew that.

Lord Baze didn’t know how to treat Leon either. This Fenrir had become very close to humans, but he preferred more feral or rough-housing friendships between men. Even in Mostail, he had sung with Earl Agamemnon, arms around each other’s shoulders. Being touchy-feely with girls was solely handled by Hieronymus around here.

“I hear a little thorn in your voice, Lord Eiji.”

The Cait Sith popped out from behind Baze. In human form, for some reason. His arm intertwined with Miss Cielz’s, for some reason. Okay. I silently begged him to not explain. Don’t tell me what happened the night before. I wanted to remain good friends with him. Damn it.

“Please... Tell her... Leon’s insisting on coming with us...” Baze muttered.

“Oof...”

That was a twist. Tiamat and I faced each other.

“Leon. We’re headed to Nourn. The capital. Don’t you have things you need to take care of?”

I took a stab at convincing her, after clearing my throat. I tried being informal without sounding uncaring.

“Cielz can prep for the migration. The skeleton is done. I don’t need to give orders about everything. Besides, I don’t entirely trust you, either. I can’t disregard the possibility that you will notify them of our location once you’re in the capital.”

She responded with an answer perfectly laid out with logic. It made sense. We weren’t on the side of the monsters; if anything, we were on the other side.

“So you’re coming along to keep an eye on us, Leon.”

“Yes.”

“But isn’t that the sort of thing you can delegate? What about Miss Cielz?”

“She can’t handle a situation if it goes south.”

Hold on a minute. She was plenty strong. She easily lost to Tiamat, but she’s like an outlier of the natural order.

“Mm. I am the strongest there is.”

“That wasn’t really a compliment, Miss Tia.”

“I’m about as strong as Tia,” Leon chimed in. “I can get away if something happens or destroy the capital if I need to.”

That wasn’t exactly a peaceful sight to imagine, but those were reasonable conditions. There was no reason for the monster army to trust us wholeheartedly. Even if we wouldn’t go as far as tell their secret location, we very well would have the chance to make a run for it. Someone had to keep an eye on us, and not anyone could do the job.

“Of course, we’ll take a hostage from you, too.”

“...Right.”

“I shall accept that role,” Hieronymus volunteered.

That would hurt. He was the brains of our party and my guard during combat. Going without him would be tough. But who else was there...? Not Tiamat. She’s the core of our team; that was out of the question. Baze was out, too. He’s our expert hunter and our best fighter when Tiamat isn’t involved. The job would be difficult for Ruey, too, as our navigator. The only one we could afford to lose...

“...is me.”

What a tragic realization. I wanted to cry.

“What’s wrong with you, you idiot.”

“Sorry.”

I was tasked with negotiating with the king, so I couldn’t stay here.

“From the process of elimination, the task befalls me.”

Hieronymus smiled, stroking his well-kept beard. Theatrical gestures suited him well. It couldn’t be helped, though.

“Give it up, Lord Baze. I don’t think there’s room for debate.”

“Boss Man...”

Hang in there.

I could only pray for him. Then I wondered why Leon and Miss Cielz gave each other a look, followed by a laughter. Perhaps there was some dark bargaining going on... pertaining to the allocation of Baze and Hieronymus, maybe? I was too scared to confirm anything though.

Tiamat and I walked side-by-side, led by Ruey holding the donkey’s reins. Baze followed us in the rear of the party, carrying Leon, sitting with her legs out to one side. It was picturesque... but couldn’t she have walked on her own? The rest of us were walking, after all.

A day and a half had passed since we left the castle of Gannes when we arrived at the main travel road. I expected that we would be able to spend nights at inns again. I was sure that a girl riding a Fenrir wasn’t something they saw every day, but they’ll just have to accept her as an adventurer. I think Tiamat had them beat in rarity, anyway.

“If we keep going down south we should reach Nourn in five days or so,” Ruey informed us as he checked his maps.

Still a little ways to go.

“I can finally sleep in a bed again.”

“We slept in beds just two nights ago,” Ruey pointed out.

“I’m getting used to it, but sleeping out here is still rough.”

“I won’t argue with that.”

We laughed. No adventurer or soldier slept under the stars by choice.

“Will you turn into a human at the inn, Baze?”

“Yeah. I can’t really go into a human town looking like this.”

“But you’re so cool.”

“If I don’t, I’ll have to go through the whole shebang that we’re Hermits and friends.”

A delightful conversation could be heard from behind me (by Leon and Baze, of course). They seemed to have grown quite fond of each other. I was glad they seemed to have formed a good friendship.

“It could be a turning point when he takes his human form,” Tiamat mumbled as she glanced behind us.

She had continued Leon’s counseling so far. Of course, an abused girl’s heart couldn’t be expected to heal right up after a few conversations. That would take a much, much longer time.

“Is it bad that he’ll be a grown man, Tia?”

I had to ask. I fit that category too.

“Not sure. Flashbacks aren’t something that anyone can predict. Still...” the dragon princess continued.

In most cases, a child’s abuser is one or both of their parents or step-parents. Apparently, other cases include the employees of the child’s care facility abusing them. Most of the time, the adults tasked with protecting the children are the abusers.

I wasn’t sure what to do with my indignation when Tiamat informed me that it wasn’t a newfound social issue. This formula is as old as time. The strong bully the weak, who bully someone weaker than them, and so on. Perhaps that’s a sort of incurable disease humanity hosts.

“Of course, ‘incurable’ isn’t going to cut it for those actually being abused.”

“Right. We can’t stop looking for solutions just because it’s a long-lasting problem.”

“The answer is never simple, but there could be various reasons why she isn’t triggered by you. Your image may be completely different from her father, or your age, or your smell...”

“Ah. Lord Baze and I do look very different.”

“That’s why I can’t predict what’s going to happen. If her mother figure was her abuser, she may be triggered by my human form.”

“Anything we could do?”

Tiamat slowly shook her head to answer my question. Apparently, we couldn’t prepare any of the tools in her arsenal in our situation, and we’re not even supposed to try and help when we weren’t asked to do so. Only detectives in mystery novels (and those online horoscopes) try to deduce someone’s mind. Counselors, on the other hand, wait as long as it takes for the patient to open up to them.

“All we can do is sit back and watch, then?”

“You may feel like it’s not enough, but the human heart usually doesn’t take a straight course.”

At that, I turned around to find Leon petting Baze’s fur. It seemed more like compensation than a part of pet therapy. I couldn’t help but avert my eyes.

8.

Leon the Demon Lord did not have a panic attack upon seeing Baze’s human form and only did one long exhale. Perhaps Tiamat understood the meaning of that action, but I was far from doing so. I couldn’t dig in with a bunch of questions either.

“When she’s ready, she’ll tell us on her own.”

I could only decide to trust my fiancée’s words.

There were no incidents at the town we stayed the night in, either, other than rumors going around about us. Rumors about the Hermit that defeated the monster army out of Mostail with the hero of the city, Earl Agamemnon; about the wise holy man, with the Dragon Princess and Star Breaker in tow, traveling the world to bring it peace and prosperity; about the saint who never accepts any reward other than the smiles of the people he saves.

So... who was this sketchy guy that sounded like some cult leader? Even in bars, the bards were singing about us to showcase their talent. If there was a hole, I would have buried myself in it.

“That expression originated in the ancient text of Jia Yi, by the way, meant to be used when you are ashamed of your own lack of knowledge. Not when you are embarrassed.”

“Damn it. If there was a hole I would bury myself in it!”

“During the bubble economy in Japan, it was used for a much different meaning, since it was trendy to have as many sexual partners as possible.”

“That usage is so derailed.”

Trivia DLC in full force. That knowledge was seriously useless.

“What hole?” Leon crooked her neck.

See! Look who responded! A highschooler!

“I-I-I-I-I think you’ll understand when you’re older. I think. Probably.”

I tried to mend the situation, albeit a little rattled, while Tiamat was over there enjoying her ale like she did nothing wrong. Damn it.

“Weirdo.”

The girl laughed, ever so slightly I thought. Was that a good sign? More importantly, I was being called a weirdo way too often. I wasn’t weird. I was the straight man of the group, if anything. I looked at Tiamat for some assistance.

“Another one.”

“Oh, another ale for me too, please.”

Since I was met with a spectacular brush-off, I ordered a drink too. We were munching on soybeans and some stewed meat. They were only seasoned with salt, but the flavor of the meat pulled through. They went pretty great with ale. We were no longer in season for edamame, but they seemed to be cooking the soybeans themselves.

“It’s good, right? These were taught to us by the Hermit, too.”

The woman who appeared to be the manager of the joint informed us of this blatant lie as she brought us ale. I never came with dishes like these, so it must have been Mister Murdock’s doing. His troupe was way ahead of us, and it seemed that they advertised soybean dishes everywhere they went.

It was great PR to claim that the dishes originated from Hermits, and they had actually traveled with those Hermits themselves. What’s more, the ingredients were practically free. Given the prowess of that old storyteller, I expected them to make bank if they sold the dishes for dirt cheap. They were business-savvy, alright. I let out a chuckle as I imagined the scene unfolding.

The capital of Noura, Nourn, was about the same size as Lishua of Azul with a population of around thirty to forty thousand. Once we arrived at the city without a hitch, we first decided on the inn to become our base of operation. I mean, there was no way we would have an audience with the king just by walking up to the castle. We’d be right back on the streets in a minute. We couldn’t even reach the conversation stage without a plan to have an audience with him.

We did have a good connection though, by the name of Earl Agamemnon. While earldom was not one of the highest ranks in this country, he was trusted with a major port. I imagined he had considerable influence in court, and we had his heir with us: Ruey. We would get an appointment through him.

That was our first step, but this wasn’t something we could immediately expect the results of. A letter, accompanied by a bribe, would change hands a few times before reaching the king. This process alone would take days. Then the king would arrange his schedule and send us a messenger with the date of our meeting. By a rough estimate, I expected this process to take ten to twelve days.

“Mm. It would still be a major event just to have an audience with him,” Tiamat said.

“Yeah. It’s the same thing as requesting to see our emperor.”

By handing a solitary letter to one of the imperial palace guards. In Japan, there’s no way that could fly.

One reason that we could pull it off in this world was our title as Hermits. Just as it did in the kingdom of Azur, it carried a special weight such that even a king could not ignore a request from us. Another reason was, as I’ve mentioned, our connection. The recommendation of Ruey Agamemnon, a member of noble society, would become a competent weapon for us. And finally, a handsome reward. A trifold strategy that would make Oda Nobunaga blush!

“What does this have to do with the battle of Nagashino?”

Leon gave me an icy stare.

Stop it, little girl. If you look at me like... I’ll fall for you.

“Mm. I can’t give you an icy look, so I’ll give you a hot breath.”

“Don’t! You’ll kill me!”

Tiamat and I were goofing around.

“Weirdo.”

Leon seemed exasperated. This was going to be my playstyle for a while. Adults were nothing she had to fear. She was at a good place when she found us a little annoying, even. I had suggested to Tiamat that we up our lovey-dovey-ness until Leon grew exasperated, after noticing a very slight sense of relief in Leon every time she called me a weirdo. My guess was that she feared any non-weirdo adult. Tiamat didn’t oppose.

“It can’t hurt her,” she’d said, and agreed to play along.

Tiamat and I had been putting our love on display ever since, no matter who was watching.

“So that’s what you call a comedy routine in Hokkaido? I didn’t know,” said Leon.

“Apologize to all 5.3 million of its residents!”

“You will?”

“Sorry.”

Perhaps aided by my plan, it felt like Leon was slowly opening up to us. However, Tiamat had said that this was the most perilous stage, too. Leon had been abused for several years, at least. It would have been a little overconfident of us to imagine that we could thaw her frozen heart after a few days of knowing her.

“But it is really boring just waiting for a royal messenger.” Tiamat, in human form, stretched her arms.

Boring? We had just arrived at Nourn the same day. Did she think life was a sprint? Let’s take it slow. I, for one, wanted to laze around for a few days in the inn!

“While we’re here, do you want to do a gig?”

“I don’t see the connection.”

All work and no play makes Eiji a dull boy.

“We’re adventurers, but haven’t done any adventure-y things. We are in a fantasy world after all. This isn’t right.”

Um... We did go hunt gagds, dug up beets, traveled with a band of performers, got caught up in a battle against the monster army, walked right into the Demon Lord’s lair, and now we were about to negotiate with the Demon Lord and the king to find a peaceful resolution.

“No, no. Don’t you think our journey has been rather eventful so far?”

“I want to dungeon-crawl.”

Now, we hadn’t done anything like that. No underground dungeons or treasure hunting adventurers. Everything we’d done so far had been all about day-to-day life.

“Don’t you want to catch a monster and cook it?”

“That’s definitely from a particular manga.”

“I want to eat a Red Dragon.”

“Isn’t that cannibalism?”

Tiamat was a dragon. Why did she want to eat a dragon?

“I hate to break it to you, Sir Eiji, Lady Tiamat. There are no dungeons around Nourn,” Ruey informed us with a half-chuckle.

“How lame.”

“If there was a dungeon, you really wanted to go, Tia?”

My fiancée was always a wild one. We were about to see the king, and she wanted to dungeon-crawl.

“Weirdo.”

Wait, Leon. I’m not the weirdo here. Tiamat is.

9.

Our meeting with Lyser, the king of Noura, happened a lot faster than expected. To our surprise, a royal messenger came to our inn a mere two days after we gave the guard our letter. That was a little more than expedited.

“Murdock had already gained an audience with him. The king was so very happy to hear of my father’s and your bravery, Sir Eiji, that he had been wanting to see us,” Ruey informed us, after speaking with the messenger.

Way to go, Mister Murdock! He had managed to perform in the palace when his troupe arrived. I bet they made a fortune in tips. I planned to have him buy me a meal when I saw him. If they were still in Nourn, that is.

“I told the messenger that we will come to the palace tomorrow.”

“Hm? Why not today, Ruey?”

The sun was still high. While I couldn’t tell accurate time without my Chronograph, it was definitely before noon. I didn’t understand why we would wait until the next day.

“I thought it might be necessary for us to clean ourselves up a bit.”

“Oof...”

Right. I was dressed like any poor adventurer just starting out on his career. Definitely not the kind of look you want when going to see the king.

“Why don’t we take the opportunity to go to a barber, Sir Eiji?”

“Ooh, good idea,” I agreed as I played with the ends of my hair, which had grown a decent amount. Nearly three months had passed since I arrived in this world; three months without a single haircut. I had only been shaving by grazing my cheeks with a knife too. I was not well-kept by any means.

We had soap with us, but it didn’t lather like a bar of soap in modern Japan. It was just congealed charcoal and animal fat anyway. It didn’t even smell good. Apparently, a rudimentary form of soap was first used in 3000 B.C.E., coincidentally invented both in ancient Rome and Mesopotamia around the same time. And, by the eighth century, ‘soap maker’ had become a profession. According to Tiamat, of course!

In any case, I couldn’t deny that I hadn’t paid much mind to my appearance since arriving in this world. I couldn’t lick myself clean like Baze or Hieronymus.

“Mm. You do need to at least keep yourself presentable. Not only when meeting royalty, but anyone.”

With that Tiamat sent us off, after making plans to meet up later and get decent clothes. Of course, we weren’t talking luxuries like made-to-order stuff from tailors. We weren’t nobles or tycoons. Just like many commoners, all we needed were touched-up second-hand wear. Not that those were very cheap either.

It may be well-known that haircuts used to be performed by surgeons. Barber surgeons, they were called. Their red, white, and blue pole used to represent blood, bandages, and the veins, respectively.

Feeling refreshed after a haircut and a shave, Ruey and I met up with the rest of the party and took a walk around the streets of Nourn.

“You look more manly now,” Tiamat said.

“Are you falling for me all over again?”

“Not that I ever fell for your looks to begin with. There’s no newfound love just because you became 1.12 times manlier.”

“How precise of you! What’s with the decimal point?!”

“It’s an approximation.”

“What’s that in math, again?”

Sorry, I was the opposite of a math major.

“Not the perfectly accurate number, but an approximate number that is close enough to be used in its place,” Leon answered.

Yeah? Well, I still didn’t get it.

“...Like pi.”

“Oh.”

The example helped a lot. I learned to represent pi as 3.14, but pi is indivisible. Since it wouldn’t have been efficient to calculate hundreds and thousands of digits, we settled on 3.14 for convenience. Which means that my manliness was boosted about 1.12 times through the haircut, ignoring all the digits after the hundredth that make the rate indivisible.

Wait. That was really a strange amount. Was the base product so bad that it improved a little over 10% from just a haircut? Or was 12% the best I could improve my looks, despite my efforts? As I sank into despair...

“Weido,” Leon said, with a little laugh.

In any case, we bought our clothes.

“What is with that lackluster description?”

“I mean, nothing noteworthy happened.”

We just bought clothes that looked decent enough and changed into them. If I was some beautiful young lady, a scene in the dressing room might have had an audience. But who wanted an inside look of a man in his thirties picking out clothes?

“There’s no fun in that.”

“Utility over looks when it comes to adventuring.”

Like a military uniform. It wasn’t something fashionable, but only needed to be functional and useful.

“On the other hand, your outfit is on point, Sir Eiji. No one would guess that you’re an F... Oh, excuse me.”

Ruey caught himself, much, much too late.

“Mm. Doesn’t look at all like someone who can barely swing a sword.”

Et tu, Tiamat?

“He had a knack for fashion back in the Dragon Realm, too. Didn’t expect that, did you?”

“Weirdo.”

In the midst of the jeering, Baze alone refrained from any comments, but I figured that was only because he lacked interest. He was chewing on some skewers he had bought along the way.

“The military uniform is the water main of all men’s fashion. Utility is the superior style.”

Back in Japan, I had just incorporated a little military element into my outfit to make it a lot more fashionable. Now I simply did the same with adventurer gear. I included a few adventurer items in my ordinary street clothes, like a leather vest and a dagger on my belt. Dressing like some master adventurer would never have suited me well, anyway.

“You don’t look trained, but there’s no flaw in your outfit. It exudes this quiet confidence. Anyone would take you for a skilled adventurer.”

“Just on the outside,” I chuckled at Ruey’s compliment.

I wasn’t a master in disguise, unfortunately. With no surprise factor or trick up my sleeve, I was a fresh rookie. With just one movement in combat I’d be found out.

“Negotiations require a little visual aid. In that sense, our battle has already begun,” Tiamat said.

Not being underestimated was pretty important. The dialogue wouldn’t even begin if he disregards us as some peasants or something. That’s why we had Leon buy an outfit too. Nothing over the top, but just a simple, clean outfit. Since Tiamat and Baze were transformed with a spell, they didn’t need any new clothes.

“I feel like we should bring something, but there’s nothing we can buy that we could gift to the king.”

We could actually be considered disrespectful for bringing anything unworthy. I find it often ignored in fantasy pieces, but disrespecting royalty was a serious crime. One punishable by death. I mean, if an office worker disrespected the owner of the company in Japan, he’d get fired. Same kind of thing.

I recalled a work of fiction where an entire clan was massacred because one of them committed the disrespect of not kneeling before the king, enraging him. But, even in modern-day Japan, you didn’t really have a place in society if you couldn’t show etiquette when it mattered.

“Mm. Etiquette is also said to be a mask that covers one’s true emotions. Putting on a different persona to match the situation is a skill required of all adults in human society. I am thou, and thou art I.”

“Per...”

I began to strike a peculiar pose as Tiamat finished. I could have used some funky jazz in the background.

“Is that really how an adult should act in Japan?”

Leon was watching me with a shade of pity.

10.

The next morning, our party visited the castle. It was as large as the castle in Azur, with stereotypically medieval-fantasy architecture. Much more impressive than the melon castle in Yubari.

“My name is Ruey, son of Earl Agamemnon. I am here to speak to His Majesty.”

The earl’s heir declared our intention, loud and clear. Of course, I was sure that the guards were already aware.

With a courteous bow, a soldier invited us five into the castle. I was a little jumpy because I had already done the screw up of being killed in a castle before. That was something I hadn’t really gotten over.

Determined to not take any food or drink they would serve no matter how warm their welcome, I walked down the large corridor with my party. The aforementioned soldiers were leading us, followed by Ruey, then Tiamat and I side by side, with Leon and Baze in the rear.

I chalked up the lifelessness that loomed around the extravagant décor to the castle being a public building. The clerk’s office was the same, too. Some female coworkers had attempted to breathe a little life into the place by decorating the counters with flowers and such, but it only changed the atmosphere a little. People never used that kind of facility unless they had to. No one goes to the city clerk’s office just to hang out. We the workers do want to make it inviting for anyone with a problem that needs solving, but we can’t really get rid of that formal atmosphere.

Our party eventually arrived at a large door, almost double the size of that in Leon’s castle. We were in the royal palace, after all. I didn’t really understand the need to enlarge doors, but perhaps they used every little thing to display their authority and class. The doors slowly opened.

“The arrival of Sir Eiji, Master Hermit!”

A clear voice that most likely belonged to a ceremonial guard rang out in the room. Most countries had one of those, and they just knew how to project.

Straightening my back, I walked forward along the red carpet. With just my eyes, I observed the room without moving my face. Scholarly and military advisors were aligned on either side. Ruey alone detached from our party to line up alongside the military advisors. He was a citizen of this country, after all.

Lyser, the current king of Noura, sat on the throne atop a set of stairs. I stopped about thirty steps away from him; I had Tiamat to my left and Leon and Baze behind me.

We didn’t kneel. Since we were not citizens of the kingdom of Noura, we did not greet him as our king. In fact, we couldn’t afford to give off any impression that we served any one country in particular, so our whole party was left just standing there.

“Thank you for granting us an audience, King Lyser.”

“Thank you for traveling so far to see me, Sir Eiji, Master Hermit.”

The king responded with a polite greeting, albeit still seated. Etiquette was paramount at times like these. No one’s pride was at risk from following said etiquette here, and being rude would not have benefited either of us. I believe that any adult has to make choices based on practicality over emotions to a certain degree.

“I can’t thank you enough for your time, Your Majesty.”

“No need. I have been wanting to see you. I’ve heard much about your heroism in Mostail.”

“Not a story worthy of your time, I’m sure.”

We exchanged smiles. Just some pleasantries.

“Now, I’ve heard that you have a plan to save Noura.”

“I wouldn’t dare claim that much. I only want to stop the war.”

“Really...?”

“I have heard about the state of war from Earl Agamemnon and Lord Ruey.”

“Will you vanquish the monster army for us?”

“Far from it. That would only repeat history, Your Majesty.”

“Then what do you propose?”

“We want to meet with the Demon Lord and suggest that they emigrate to somewhere far away from human civilization.”

“What an idea!”

The king looked surprised. In reality, of course, we had already met with the Demon Lord and gotten her to agree. The Demon Lord was right behind me, in fact! We didn’t have to bother the king with that knowledge, though.

“At the end of the day, I believe that the war is caused by the close proximity of both species. If each side lived far away from each other without the need to interact, there would be no cause for tension.”

“Indeed, that is true,” the king laughed.

This logic stands in modern-day Earth, too. There are countries mired in poverty, torn apart by war, and even suffocated by dictators. But will Japan ever give enough support to these countries to the point of endangering its own state?

I’m sure there are some people who spend all of their money in support of them. Many people donate some portion of their income to these causes. I consider them admirable and outstanding, but they are only allowed to do so as individuals. It was a different story if Japan were to starve as a whole from saving other countries.

As a country, Japan has the obligation to serve its people to the best of its ability. Then, if there is any left to go around, our resources can be used to help other countries. This isn’t exactly the most virtuous way of thinking, but I think we’ve lost sight of what’s important when foreign workers are treated so well that there are no jobs left for Japanese citizens.

King Lyser had to think like that too, putting the kingdom of Noura and its people above all else. Truth be told, even if other countries were to fight monsters and wear themselves out, it was all a fire across the river. By no means was this mindset inappropriate. He had an obligation to protect his country and people.

“No good can come from war, especially when it’s within your borders.”

“Absolutely. If the monsters really left Noura altogether, that would be the best scenario we could hope for.”

Even if Noura had decided to fight the monsters and win, they would not earn a single bronze coin in reparations nor a single square meter of new land. It would only cost them money and lives. If the king was the kind of person that didn’t find that futile, I would have given up on this negotiation. Luckily, King Lyser was not.

“But, Sir Eiji. Is that really possible?”

Now, our conversation was about to get technical. It was written on the king’s face that he wouldn’t accept ‘it’s not impossible’ as an answer.

“Of course, Your Majesty,” I answered with quiet confidence. We had already succeeded, after all.

“I will take care of convincing the Demon Lord. The only thing is, if your army attacks the monsters during their emigration, things are going to escalate beyond my control.”

This was something I had to hammer in, as many times as it took. The monsters weren’t pacifists, of course. If attacked, they would retaliate. If retaliated, humans would attack again. They would plunge straight back into war. My proposal, in short, was for the king to have the travel road vacated for the monster’s mass emigration.

“...I understand.”

The king agreed to it after a long pause. He must have considered the consequences of freezing the nation’s travel roads, albeit for a short period. Of course he did. At the end of the day, this was a choice between continuing to wage war against the monsters and having them gone in exchange for temporary inconvenience.

“Thank you for wisdom, Your Majesty.”

“Please. I should be the one thanking you, Master Hermit. You’ll save us unnecessary bloodshed.”

“Peace is the supreme victory.”

“Indeed. Now, how long should I keep the travel roads clear? There will be some difficulty in doing so for too long.”

“I will send a messenger once the monster army is ready to emigrate. I think it would take them less than ten days from that point to leave the country.”

With that, I turned around to Baze. I was counting on his speed to deliver the message. With a nod, Baze changed his form, and a silver Fenrir appeared in the royal hall.

“Understood,” he said, with a voice that boomed through the pit of my stomach.

“Oh... Oh... Star Breaker...”

King Lyser wobbled off of his throne and approached him to touch his silver fur. As if they were struck, his advisors all knelt at once. The scene was practically out of some religious painting.

Hold on. Lord Baze was definitely more respected than I was! That babysitter.

And so, we had managed to garner King Lyser’s support. We had completed the first step, and things were about to get difficult as we had to worry about more practical things.

“Planning the travel route, securing food, picking out campsites... There are countless things to worry about.”

“Yep,” I agreed with Tiamat.

Just because the people at the top decided to do something, it didn’t mean that the execution would go smoothly. Making a decision was easy, just like giving the order to do it. Most people in the workforce, including little bureaucrats like me, spent their days trying to clean up the mess of decisions made by those above us. Maybe once in my life I’ll get to say, “Do it yourself, then.”

“First, we return to Gannes,” Leon said.

It was so obvious that Tiamat and I couldn’t help but stare at each other for a moment. We couldn’t give any directions without going back to home base. Even I didn’t expect to make any stops and have some fun on the way home.

“...If I were the god of this world...”

The highschooler Demon Lord looked just a little worried.

“I’d go for the head now. That eliminates the path for peace.”

Once the Demon Lord and the Hermits returned to Gannes, the emigration would officially start. Before that, sabotaging our plan was easy. Kill Leon. Without a leader, the monster army would attack the humans, enraged, plunging this country into war and bloodshed.

“So our journey back is going to be super dangerous...?”

“That’s what I’ve been saying, I thought.”

“Holy cow, I didn’t think of that!”

I clasped my head in my hands. That’s right! If I or Leon were to die before we got there, our plan would be done for!

“...Weirdo.”

The little Demon Lord went from worried to exasperated.

“Stop being so pathetic in front of a highschooler.” Tiamat shrugged.

Hold on. I swear the thought had never crossed her mind, either. Why did she have to make it look like it was all my fault? In any case, we had to be prepared for anything during our seven-day journey from the capital back to Gannes.

“No one will put a finger on you while I still breathe, Eiji. Worry not.”

“That makes me feel a lot better, Tia, but I wish I was the one saying it to you.”

I chuckled at my confident dragon princess. Another journey began.