KAGEROU DAZE 03

The buzz of the cicadas echoed, raucous.

I stared at a tree next to the sidewalk, astonished that insects would have even considered city life. But I couldn’t see any up there.

You hear all the time that a cicada has an average lifespan of just one week. But it’s more complex than that: The larva can actually burrow into the ground and live for years and years down there, making their actual life expectancy quite a bit longer.

Maybe that meant the droning cry I was hearing now was the product of the reservoir of strength they amassed during all those years underground. One final release after all that buildup.

For someone like me—growing and building himself up deep under the surface my whole life, only to find myself squished on the sidewalk the moment I dared to crawl onto the surface—I found the concept both purely beautiful and purely envious.

“Um, we’re here.”

Hiyori’s arm, currently supporting a shopping bag from the nearby supermarket, pointed toward a cemetery on the other side of a low-hung stone wall. It was our next stop.

“By the way, are you, like, all right? ’Cause your face is, uhm, a total wreck?”

“Huh? Really?”

“Uh, yeah? You got these huge rings around your eyes. And have you even, like, eaten and stuff?”

The main culprit behind the emaciated look that Hiyori so expertly described involved the girl herself, mostly. But judging by her act, the thought had yet to so much as occur to her.

After all, the stress from everything that took place yesterday was far too much for someone with my physical stamina to take.

First off, Hiyori, who had gone head over heels for Konoha the moment we arrived at her house, was demonstrating less interest in me than ever. To her, I was nothing but an utter pest.

Yesterday was supposed to be the day Hiyori would help me choose a cell phone. No longer. He was the only appointment in her mind now. I pleaded with her to come along anyway, and after several dozen “What a pain” type of complaints from her, we finally set off…only to find that the department store we chose was closed due to “unexpected circumstances.” To my intense chagrin, I was forced to retreat from the scene.

We could have visited any phone store on the street, of course, but it turns out that you can’t sign a phone contract by yourself if you’re underage. The plan was to hit this department store—apparently Hiyori’s dad knew one of the executives who ran it—and have them make a special friends-and-family exception for me. Too bad it ended in bitter failure.

“Well,” Hiyori quickly interjected, “guess the phone’s gonna have to wait, huh?”

So I wound up spending all of yesterday in that accursed house, the sight of her flirting with the one thing I wanted out of my sight thrust before me for hours on end.

My only remaining question: Why am I being forced to live together with a freak like that?

The way she put it back home, Hiyori’s brother-in-law lived in another house. We were meant to have the whole place to ourselves. Just the two of us.

Turns out this brother-in-law is a pretty flighty dude. Judging by Konoha claiming he’s “lived here for a while” and being “taken care of by Mr. Tateyama,” I suppose he’s a more-or-less permanent boarder.

If he’s letting random students crash at his house, I’d like to think I’m entitled to some kind of explanation as to why.

Although maybe Hiyori did hear about this before…and just didn’t think to tell me. It was plausible.

Either way, it meant that my Glamorous Couple’s Summer in the City was now thoroughly a thing of the past.

I couldn’t keep much of my dinner down, and the burning pyres of jealousy in my soul made a decent night’s sleep a tall order. Hence, Hiyori’s appraisal of my frail, run-down visage.

“Hey, Hiyori? Why are we visiting a cemetery right now? I thought you were all amped up to go shopping…”

“Mmm, I dunno. Just kind of, like, felt like it? I mean, yesterday, when we went in my sister’s house, it was like ‘Oh, crap, I better visit here too.’”

Today was day two of our trip.

Earlier, Hiyori gave me an ultimatum: I’m shopping today, she said, and you’re coming along. Then, this morning, the story did an about-face. Shopping’s canceled, she explained. I got a gravesite to visit.

Konoha, the ultimate thorn in my side, wasn’t with us. He showed no sign of waking up this morning. “I wish he coulda, like, come with us?” Hiyori lamented. For me, it was an unexpected windfall.

Come to think of it, Konoha didn’t join us for the cell-phone shopping trip, either. “Mr. Tateyama said I couldn’t leave the house while he was gone,” he explained. What is he, five years old? That’s why we didn’t bother waking him—he wouldn’t have left with us anyway.

“Oh…huh. I guess it’s the Obon holiday, huh?”

Inside this cemetery, not too far away from our house, I could see a few other visitors. Considering this graveyard was on the small side, though, we didn’t have the big crowds you’d expect to see visiting family graves during the holiday.

“Uh, yeah? That, and today’s the anniversary of my sister’s death, you know? My family never told me a lot about her, but…like, I guess they wouldn’t? She probably never knew I was even born.”

Hiyori’s sister was apparently a pretty rebellious girl from a young age. One day she told her parents “I’m going out to see the world,” ran away from home, and that was that.

The family cut off all ties with her after that. By the time Hiyori finally met her sister, she was lying in a casket.

“My brother-in-law looked, like, super broken up about it at the funeral. I totally remember everything about that day.”

We walked down the narrow path, checking each grave marker as we did.

Many of them were lined with fresh offerings for the deceased—flowers, traditional sweets, even things like toy cars. I tried not to stare at any of them for too long.

“I mean, the guy was, like, really polite to my mom and dad and stuff. But get this: He wouldn’t talk to me at all! It’s like, wow, thanks a lot! You were with my sister the whole time after she ran off, and that’s what you do to me? It’s like, man, grown-ups are such a pain in the ass.”

Hiyori drawled on, her face expressionless, betraying nothing in the way of anger or sadness.

Maybe she resented her parents back then for being so stubborn.

But when I thought about it—how Hiyori’s parents bottled their anger up, with no place to unleash it now that she was out of their grasp—I found myself unable to say anything.

“Oh, speaking of, my brother-in-law was too busy to come home yesterday, but he told me to be there this afternoon ’cause he’ll bring my autograph over. So once we’re, like, done here, we’re gonna have to run back to…Um?”

Suddenly, Hiyori stopped.

Ahead of her was a young man in a black, short-sleeved hoodie, palms held together as he piously observed a certain gravestone.

“Uh, that’s my sister’s grave?”

Hiyori started walking again.

I hurried on behind. The man, finally taking notice of us, swung around.

His hair was a pale shade of brown, and his eyes noticeably large, as he stared at us.

“Um, I’m sorry…That grave belongs to my older sister. I’m, uh, glad she has company today.”

Hiyori bowed politely at the man. He studied her face for a moment, and his face tensed up.

“Wh-wha? Whaaa? Your sister?!”

“Right. Did, um, did you know her very well…?”

The man’s face instantly brightened, an innocent smile sprouting upon it as he excitedly ran up to us.

“Oh, wowww, you totally remind me of her! Did I know her? Dude, you gotta be kidding me! She was a huuuuuuuuuuge part of my life!”

After he finished expressing his abject joy at this encounter, the man stopped himself for a moment, suddenly realizing something. He brought a hand to his mouth, coughing once as he arched his back upward.

“Um, I’m sorry, I guess I got a little carried away. Are, uh, are you this girl’s companion or something?”

He was talking to me.

“Yeah. Well, really more like her errand boy, but…heh-heh…”

I felt like a fool the moment it escaped my lips. I turned my eyes away, scratching a cheek in distracted shame.

“Errand boy…Oof. Must be rough, man.”

Surprised by the response, I turned back to him. He looked distressed, as if honestly saddened by my plight.

“I mean…Well, you know, I mean, I reeeeally know what you mean. Totally. I got this scary dude bossing me around all day, too. Man, all the abuse I get…”

The man spread his arms out in front of him to emphasize the extent of his daily torment.

“Oh…That’s terrible. I guess we both got some problems…huh…?”

“Yeah…Gotta stay strong, you know…?”

We slapped our hands together in a firm handshake. We apparently shared a lot in common.

I thought I heard Hiyori say, “What is with you?” in the background, but I had other priorities at the moment.

“Anyway, I better get going now, so I hope you’ll excuse me. Are you guys busy later on?”

“Huh? No…Not, like, busy or anything, but we have to be home before too late in the afternoon, so…”

“Oh…”

Suddenly, in response to Hiyori’s refusal, I thought I saw a darker shadow emerge behind the man’s smile, a smile that seemed like a permanent part of his face until now.

But when I took another look, it was gone. The same smile as before. I worried for a moment that yesterday was so depressing for me that I was passing my pathos on like a disease, but quickly dismissed the thought.

Besides, if I was gonna gain a superpower, it’d better be a hell of a lot more useful than that. Invisibility, for example. That’s my first pick.

“Well, gee, that’s too bad! Would’ve been nice if we could relax together a little. The weather’s so lovely, too!”

The man clasped his hands behind his head as he pouted at us. Hiyori rewarded the act with a light chuckle.

“Ha-ha-ha…Uh, yeah. Maybe that’d be nice for a little bit.”

“Well, anyway, take care! I better get a move on. See you!”

The man beamed at us one more time before turning around and hurrying off somewhere.

“Seemed like kind of a nice guy, huh, Hiyori?”

“Yeah. Kind of, uh, weird, though. Like, my sister was way older than me. What’d she be doing with someone so young…?”

Hiyori’s face turned stern as she thought about all sorts of unthinkable things. Considering we were right in front of her grave, it seemed awfully inappropriate.

“Heh. Nice one, sis!”

But then she directed that at the grave marker. Was this really the kind of younger sister that woman deserved? If I could ask her, I would.

As I debated with myself over it, Hiyori placed some candy she purchased earlier by the gravestone.

The two had never met. There wasn’t much way Hiyori could have known what her preference was at all.

No, what Hiyori laid out by the grave was all of her own favorites.

She was giving what she liked to someone else. Something that I (at least) knew represented the epitome of affection, by her standards.

Once she had her offerings lined up, Hiyori placed her palms against each other and closed her eyes in front of the grave.

I followed after, copying her ritual.

What kind of woman was she? The man from before said Hiyori “totally reminded” him of her. I began to wonder if her personality was just as poison-tipped and fanglike.

“Uh, you gonna be doing that all day, or?”

Hiyori’s voice snapped my eyes back open.

“You aren’t, like, trying to ask my sister something weird in your mind, are you?”

“Wh-what? No! I, um, I was just wondering what she was like, and all.”

The accusation was totally false, but her sudden jab made me grope for words anyway.

Hiyori’s quizzical look soon melted back into her usual inscrutable stare. “I dunno,” she said. “She was just…normal, I bet.”

The sun began to quietly pound upon us as it cranked up the heat.

It wouldn’t be long before the appointed time Hiyori mentioned.

“Hey, so should we be getting back home, or? It sounds like that guy wanted to get to know us more, but…”

“Hmm…Well, I don’t see why we gotta, like, zoom back home. Maybe we should, uh, do some shopping after all? I mean, that shoe store over there looks nice…Ooh, but maybe I should, like, hit up that accessory shop by the rail station…”

She was firmly in her own world now.

“Wait, what?! We don’t have that much time, do we? Shouldn’t we say hi to your brother-in-law and get that autograph from him first…?”

“…Okay, uh, just one place. Follow me.”

Her mind made up, she briskly strolled away.

I had exhausted my arsenal. Nothing I could say would stop her now. I should consider it an honor that she even bothered commanding me to join her.

Once she exited the cemetery, Hiyori cut a quick right onto the sidewalk.

That was something else I discovered on this trip: Hiyori was blessed with an uncannily good sense of direction. Yesterday and today, she never once slowed her speedy walking pace, confidently and unerringly striding from point A to point B with ease.

Even on the sort of side paths I’d lose my way in even if I had a map, she never made a single wrong turn. I had to hand it to her.

For the next fifteen minutes, all I did was follow behind her. There was nothing for me to think about, nothing to ask her.

The crowds began to swell, giving me at least half a clue that our destination was somewhere close to the center of town.

It began to dawn on me yesterday, but now I was sure of it: I was starting to doubt I’d ever become used to the big city.

All these billboards, all the cars whizzing to and fro, all the laughing and conversation overlapping with each other…It all formed a vast cacophony in my ears, a flood of stimulation that whirled and eddied around me.

That, and this heat.

And I idolized life in the city just a scant few days ago. Reflecting on this stupidity on my part made me sick to my stomach.

If I tried living here alone, I doubt I’d make it half a day, even.

In fact, I was starting to question my ability to survive the summer at all.

“Oh, there it is. You wait here for me.”

We were on a street lined with colorful storefronts. Hiyori stopped in front of one with no advance warning.

Judging by how she strolled inside without any further confirmation, this must have been the spot.

“Wow. Pretty fancy place.”

Meekly obeying Hiyori’s command, I stared up at the store entrance.

The wall was painted a shocking shade of pink, festooned with cookie- and candy-themed decorations. The store sign, blaring the name of the place in bright-yellow characters, was covered in neon that no doubt made the shop an even more formidable presence at night.

It was a feast for the eyes, one far too rich for my tastes. It, and the heat, began to make me nauseated.

We should buy something to drink once she comes back…Otherwise, I’m gonna dry up like a prune and they’ll probably make more of those stupid cookie ornaments out of me.

With a recorded “Come back again soon!” the automatic doors opened to reveal Hiyori, a pair of small bags in her hand.

“Oh, hey. You find what you want?”

Hiyori sneered victoriously as she nodded an emphatic yes.

It was so cute, I thought my heart would jump out of my throat.

I’m so glad I’m here. Watching her do that made the whole day worth the trouble.

“This’ll be the perfect gift for Konoha!”

I take that back. I wish I’d never left my room.

Not him again. Seriously, what was her deal with him?

A gift?! What the hell?!

“A gift, huh…? What kind of…?”

“Um? Like, why do you care?”

My ego sliced neatly in two, I found myself unable to respond.

Apparently this entire trip to the city was a kind of emotional boot camp devised to build up my immunity to mental anguish.

“Oh, uh, but I got something for you, too.”

“Oh, neat…Wait, huh?! For me?!”

“Uh, yeah? Here.”

Hiyori brought an apathetic arm forward, offering me one of the bags.

The moment I took it in hand, I saw my entire life flash before my eyes. It moved me to tears.

“Th-thank you…so much…”

“Uh, why’re you crying? Gross…”

I know I took it back just a second ago, but I’m so glad I came here. Never in my dreams did I expect such a pleasant surprise to be lying in wait for me.

“No, I…I really appreciate this. Um, can I open it up?!”

“Huh? Uh, yeah, I guess?”

Judging by the weight, the light pink polka-dot bag in my hand contained…a key chain, maybe? Or maybe some kind of writing tool?

Radiant with anticipation, I smiled my biggest smile of the day as I opened the bag.

I was rewarded with a smell akin to rotted fish.

“Urghh! It stinks!”

I shouted it out despite myself, so perplexing this whole sequence had become.

And no one would chide me for it. I’m sure of that. How else would you respond to a girl exiting a fancy designer shop and handing you a bag that smelled like the inside of a fish cannery?

No. Nobody could’ve predicted this.

Gingerly, I used two fingers to reach into the bag and pull out its contents. It was a key chain, all right—a key chain of some freaky monster, one that looked like a slice of raw salmon with a pair of legs attached to it.

“Uh? What? You got, like, a problem with it?”

Hiyori’s expressionless face bore down upon mine.

“No, I mean…Huh?! I mean, not a problem, but…what is this, this…thing?”

I could understand a key chain with some kind of fruity scent. This…well, all I could assume was that some manufacturer tried something a little funky with the idea. Emphasis on funky.

“It’s a Benishake-chan strap. I figured, you know, you’d probably like that kinda stuff?”

“No, uh, I mean, why would I ever…? I mean, when did I ever act like I would’ve, even?!”

“I just thought…like, you’d probably like that smell, you know?”

Hiyori’s gaze beat down upon me as she emitted a short, nasal chuckle. Ugh. She’s just harassing me now. Still, somehow, the joy at receiving the present won out in my mind.

“Nggg…gghh…Well, thank you very much…”

I had no way to fight her.

Hiyori, watching me wriggle pathetically under her gaze, chuckled again.

“Okay, uh, how about we head home…? We’re kind of short on time.”

“Oh. Yeah. So, like, we just take this road down until—”

Hiyori placed one foot forward, ready to dive headlong through the labyrinthine streets once again, but something made her freeze.

Glancing at her feet, I found that the criminal accosting the self-centered Hiyori was a black cat.

I couldn’t say where it came from, but the moment I spotted it, it rubbed its head against her leg, purring.

“Oh, wow, a cat. Guess it really likes you, Hiyori.”

After the show of affection, the well-groomed feline walked off a short distance, paused, and continued on into a narrow alleyway.

“Oop, there he goes. Wish I coulda gotten to pet ’im at least, huh, Hiyo—”

“I want that cat…!”

Hiyori’s face went flush—even more than it did upon meeting Konoha yesterday—as her breathing quickened.

“What did you…?”

“We’re chasing him down, Hibiya!”

She half-shouted the words at me as she flung herself into the alleyway after her new desire.

My mind came up with a litany of snappy retorts, but I nonetheless basked in the glory of being called by name as I followed behind.

We pushed our way past the steel garbage cans lined up next to each entryway, thundering our way up a small, moss-ridden set of stairs, before finding ourselves in the middle of a wide, crowded boulevard.

“Whoa…I, I don’t think we’re gonna find ’im now, Hiyori…”

“No. I saw his tail just a sec ago. Over here.”

Hiyori darted to the left, all but sprinting down the street.

The idea of storming down such a packed street without even flinching filled me with abject wonder.

And thanks to me running in her empty wake, I didn’t have to dodge anyone as we coursed down the boulevard sidewalk.

“Huff…huff…There! Over there!!”

The next corner Hiyori took on a dime brought her steamrolling toward a children’s outdoor park, one mostly dominated by playground equipment.

I dove in behind her, and there it was—the same black cat, seated behind one of the metal poles holding up a light blue swing set.

“Got ’im!”

The elation was clear in her voice as she edged closer and closer to her prey.

“Hee-hee-hee…Who’s a good kitty, hmmm? Just sit tight and let me pet every inch of your body…”

Edging closer, breathing heavily from her nostrils, Hiyori emitted an aura that, if I were a cat, would make me flee at maximum speed.

But this cat stayed put, not betraying any discomfort as it blithely gazed at this advancing cat burglar.

I was marveling at how unexpected its reaction was when, suddenly, I noticed something that made my spine freeze solid.

The eyes of the cat as it stared Hiyori down were blazing a crimson red, like perfect marbles of liquid blood.

Hiyori must not have noticed.

From my point of view, this bizarre animal was attracting her to it, possessing her with its spirit. I sensed a primal danger.

“H-Hiyori! Wait a sec! There’s something wrong with that cat!”

“Wh-what?!”

Hiyori looked back in surprise at my instinctual yelp. The cat turned toward me and paused, as if about to say something, and then it darted off somewhere.

“Aaahhhh!! Look at that! Look! He got away!”

Turning her eyes back, Hiyori noticed the fleeing cat. It must have made her pretty sore, because now she was marching right in my direction.

“N-no, I, uh, that cat was acting kind of weird, you know? So I…I was just worried, so…”

“I didn’t ask you! I don’t need you, like, worrying about me at all! That’s even worse!”

Her eyes remained fixed upon mine as she spat out the words, her voice rising with her anger level.

“I can’t even rely on you for, like, anything! I wish I had Konoha worrying about me instead! And why have you been acting like such a mopey idiot the past two days?! Are you, like, stupid or something?!”

This economy-size barrage of abuse was enough to make even my blood pressure rise.

I knew it was selfish of me to feel that way, but there had to be such a thing as too much sooner or later.

“Am I stupid…? I mean, why…Why don’t you understand me at all?! It’s not like I’m moping around because I want to…”

“Oh, really? Well it sure looked like you were to me, okay? So, like, why are you, then?”

“Because…”

I knew it all too well by now. Hiyori could make me shut up with a single look. And here it was now. Happening again.

And now that I thought about it, had I ever managed to take what I had in mind and put it perfectly into words before?

I didn’t think so. And if I ever did speak those words, I couldn’t guess what would happen.

My mind went blank. I felt a pain in my chest, my ears ringing.

“Because what…?”

“Because I…Hiyori, I want to…”

“Wait, stop that…”

“Ever since I met you…!”

“No, like, seriously, stop!”

The sound of Hiyori’s scream ferried me back to reality.

I reluctantly returned her gaze, only to find Hiyori about ready to cry.

As if on cue, the insects in the trees around us began to chitter and whine, the call of the cicadas sounding like a caustic insult directed straight at me.

The moment seemed to last an eternity, more than long enough to make me regret ever acting on the heat of the moment like this.

“You’re horrible.”

Once she finally deigned to let me hear her voice again, Hiyori stabbed me through the heart, more viciously than ever before.

“I, um…”

There was no way I could say anything else, but my stupid mouth still kept trying to form syllables on me.

“I’m going home. Don’t follow me.”

I turned to the side, no longer able to face her, and noticed a dead fly legs-up on the ground.

I wonder if he managed to bring across what he really felt to anyone. I wonder if I ever would.

The tears that unconsciously streamed down my cheek dripped down, one by one, forming little black splotches on the ground.

Just as nothing seemed to matter any longer, I heard Hiyori’s distant footsteps come to a halt.

“Uh…Since when were you here…?”

Judging by the tone of her voice, I could guess who she was directing it toward. It pained me to admit it, but it was a simple conclusion to make.

I raised my head upward to see Hiyori. There, next to the park gate, I saw Konoha. That, I expected. The way he was covered in sweat, I didn’t.

“Uh…Since a little bit ago. You guys weren’t around when I woke up, so…so I figured I’d better look for you…”

Konoha’s reply came in patchwork between breaths. It apparently startled Hiyori.

“…Did you hear us just now?”

Her voice was shaking. But Konoha, his expression enigmatic as always, kept the reply deadpan.

“Huh? Yeah, I did, but…”

The moment I heard it, I instantly imagined Hiyori fleeing in horror to points unknown.

Thanks to that, I had a head start on Hiyori the instant before she took off.

…What did I even want to do?

Did I want to make more excuses?

Did I want to keep Hiyori from being all alone?

Did I want to take Hiyori’s hand before Konoha could?

Hiyori ran, just as I expected her to, but not the light, nimble dance she exhibited out on the boulevard. This was a clumsy dash, her legs pumping as she tried to go anywhere but here, fast.

If I could catch up just a few steps, I’d be in range of her hand.

But just as I approached her, I was stunned by the sight that greeted me:

Ahead, as Hiyori stumbled out of the park, a red light shone at the end of the white line neatly painted on the street.

I didn’t have to think about what that meant. It was clear at a glance.

It meant despair.

“Hiyori!! Red light!!”

Please, take me one step closer…No. It’s already too late.

My final step was resolute, unwavering, enough so even to surprise me.

I don’t think I’ve ever planted my foot down and lunged so powerfully toward Hiyori before in my life.

I doubted Hiyori, surprised as she was, could imagine what would come next. I couldn’t myself, not yet. So we were even.

In front of the truck, advancing upon us with a deafening roar—
—at the very, very end, I finally held Hiyori’s long-coveted hand.