Reaper Record IV
REAPER RECORD IV
The flickering light of the candle just barely illuminated the top of the desk by the window.
I put my pen down on it, the first entry in my journal complete, and checked over my writing one more time.
“Hmm…Hope this is good enough.”
I knew what a journal was, of course, but actually attempting to write one proved a trying task.
I had our little trip outside to report on today, which made things a tad easier, but what on earth was I going to come up with from tomorrow onward?
Even after giving it a second reading, though, it was hard to call what I wrote about today’s events “interesting” at all.
“I wanted to start this with a bang, kind of…but this really isn’t much of anything, is it?”
I grew exasperated at my lack of storytelling ability.
“You don’t think? I think it’s wonderful.”
“Agh!” I replied, startled by the voice behind me.
“Ah-ha-ha,” Tsukihiko said, his smile still the same as always as he scratched his head. “Sorry.”
“Wha…?! Who said you could peek? You fool!”
How could I let him see me? I had let my guard down. I didn’t write anything I regretted though, did I…? No…I should be fine on that point.
“Aw, I’m just happy I showed up in the first entry, is all.”
Tsukihiko acted abashed as he spoke, but I had no idea what delighted him so much about seeing the day’s wild bee chase rendered in words.
“Pfft. I don’t have much of a cast to work with. I have no choice.”
A journal didn’t need a “cast,” precisely. But the idea of me making him happy irked me, so I ignored that detail.
“Is Shion asleep already?”
“Mm-hmm. We had a busy day outside. She’s out like a light.”
Shion’s grown into a healthy girl. She really has.
I never imagined I’d be in the position of raising a child. But it was surprising, how everything seemed to work out with it in the end.
Her birth came with a mountain of anxieties—she was the offspring of me and this fool, after all—but now, even with that, every day was happy for me.
“Do…do you think Shion will keep doing well? As she ages?”
Tsukihiko caressed my head, the way he always did. “Of course,” he said. “She’ll grow up to be a beautiful woman. Just like you, Azami.”
I didn’t ask him to go that far. I constantly told him to knock that off, that it’s embarrassing to me, but there was just no fixing that aspect of him.
“Mmm…I’m getting sleepy, too. I should probably go to bed.”
Tsukihiko punctuated the statement with a heavy yawn.
Compared to the day I first met him, his face was more wizened, clearly older.
That’s the human race for you. They age.
And yet he still ran around like a child with Shion today. Little wonder he was tired.
“Oh? Well, sleep well.”
Tsukihiko looked a tad crestfallen for a moment. Then he spoke again.
“Azami, why don’t we sleep together once in a while? Shion’s here and everything, too. What do you think?”
It pained my heart slightly. I didn’t let it show, my face cold and steadfast.
“…Fool. I never sleep. Do you want me to just lie there all night next to you, staring at the ceiling?”
“Ah-ha-ha. No, I guess not. Sorry, sorry.”
Tsukihiko laughed it off, but his face still betrayed his lonesomeness.
“It’s fine. We’ll be together tomorrow.”
“True,” he said with a smile. “See you tomorrow, then.” Then he caressed my hair again.
I gave him a light wave as he disappeared into the bedroom.
Just as he left my sight, the loneliness I kept cooped up in my heart burst out of me.
Did he say that because of something I inadvertently wrote in the journal?
I knew how his mind worked. He wasn’t the kind of person to be bothered by small things like that. But:
“How many more summers will the three of us see together?”
I knew I wrote that sentence in my journal, but now it seemed so needlessly cruel to me.
Tsukihiko was oblivious to it still—because I hid it—but recently, that thought had a tendency to consume me during the nights.
I tended to forget about it when I was with him, but I knew that the flow of time would never bend its rules for my sake.
…I wasn’t sure he and I would be together for very much longer.
He was approaching the end of his life span. He was going to die before me.
But that was something I knew, theoretically, from the start.
Why, at this point in time, am I letting the thought trouble me so?
Because being without him filled me with a desolate sense of loneliness.
Just thinking about it made me lonely, to the point where my eyes welled up.
But that still wasn’t enough to make me wish I had never met him in the first place. Anything but that.
We ran into each other, Shion was born, and then we were three.
The time we spent together was invaluable, irreplaceable to me.
So I didn’t mind. As long as I enjoyed the days to come, even more than ever before, it would all work out.
Spending that valuable time tormenting myself like this would be a terrible waste.
When the time comes that we’re parted, I can cry then. With all my heart.
I’d give him all the abuse I could muster: “Why did you die first?” I’ll say. “You said you’d be with me forever!”
That would probably unnerve him. He was always so pathetically weak against my self-centered griping.
Did he think he could scratch his head and apologize for that? I’d like to see him try.
As I pondered over this, I suddenly realized that my tears were dripping down into the pages of my journal.
My breathing was tight. I tried holding it back, but the loneliness seemed to stream out of every pore.
I resolved to do away with the tears not a moment ago. Am I really this much of a fool?
…I can’t stand it. I don’t want him to go. I want to be together forever.
My head was buried in the thought. I began to stare into space.
Maybe I had cried too much. It was an odd feeling, somehow.
I wasn’t trying to consciously think about anything. Yet I was gripped by the natural desire to close my eyes.
What is going on with me?
I didn’t understand. But the feeling wasn’t disagreeable to me.
It felt like the loneliness was fading away…
…little…
…by little…
Ah, you’ve finally allowed yourself to let your body go where it does?
You’re looking rather haggard, I should say. You must have been pondering over some rather difficult thoughts.
My, but I cannot even begin to explain how long I’ve been waiting for this moment.
I’ve been waiting here, for I couldn’t even guess how long, and yet you never seemed to notice me, master.
But if you’re here now…does that mean you have a wish you want to make true? No matter what it takes?
Oh, no, no. It is fine. You don’t have to explain everything.
What are you talking about? You are me, and I am you. There are certainly no misunderstandings between us.
Yes. Yes, I am aware.
Mm. I see, I see.
…Well! A strange and funny thing indeed, that!
Oh. No, no. Forget I ever said it.
But if that is what troubles you at the moment, master, you must have changed quite a significant amount over the years.
But no matter what your wish is, master, I am here to make it happen. You can be quite assured on that point.
So. You say you want to be with that human for the rest of time, but if you will allow me to cut to the chase, that is simply not possible in this world.
Oh, dear. There is no need to be so pessimistic.
Remember, I said “this world.”
Yes, exactly.
Which, I suppose, begs the question: Which world do I mean?
I will be happy to explain. That is why I traveled here, after all.
Yes. Those abilities of yours. You need to use them.
Depending on how you use them, those abilities can allow you to accomplish…well, almost anything.
As I stated earlier, there is simply no way to make your wish come true in this world.
Unfortunately, I am unable to relate the reason for this to you. Please understand. I do not make the rules.
But all you have to do, then, is create a new world!
For example, how about a world where time repeats itself endlessly?
You could live there forever with the human you love, and your daughter.
With your powers, it could be accomplished in a snap.
Oh, of course, yes! These are your abilities, after all. No one else’s. The power is right there, at your fingertips.
……
…Ah, but I see our time is rapidly coming to a close.
I will explain in further detail the next time you are here.
Until then, I will remain here, waiting for you.
Certainly. Go ahead.
