KATANAGATARI 1
He jumped backwards on his tiptoes and dodged Komori’s opener. It mattered none that they were on the beach. There wasn’t a single place on Haphazard Island that was unusual for Shichika. On the beach or in the mountains, there was no good or bad terrain.
The tip of the sword passed before his eyes.
A real sword.
If it cuts, you bleed.
After landing, Shichika ran backwards, putting five long strides between him and Komori before stopping and assuming a stance.
Legs saddled wide, hips low.
Left foot forward, toes pointed ahead.
Right foot back, toes pointed to the right.
Palms open, right hand high, left hand low.
Becoming a wall for his opponent.
“Kyotoryu Form One: the Suzuran.”29
For a split second, Shichika had debated which move to use for his debut, but he settled for his most basic. He had maneuvers specifically for long swords, and for straight swords too, and from that garish opening attack, he gathered that Komori was no expert swordsman (he was a ninja, after all)─but picking the right move required thinking, and that was a pain in the butt.
Even in the heat of battle, everything was a pain to Shichika.
This also meant that he was calm.
The rattled nerves of his earlier outburst and frantic pursuit down the mountain were gone. In that sense, Komori’s sideshow act of pulling a katana from his mouth worked in Shichika’s favor─at least in that regard.
Kyotoryu Form One─the Suzuran.
Outside of the Kyotoryu, the world is not without its other ways of taking on a sword barehanded. If you adopt the proper method, you stand a chance. The most surefire method of all is “running away” (since the heavy sword slows down your enemy), but when that’s not an option, “fighting while running” is the next best thing.
A katana is long.
That is its advantage.
It could reach him from a distance─all Shichika’s attacks would fall short, but the Leveler was long enough to cut him where he stood. This was an immovable fact. If a fact couldn’t be minimized, maximizing it was one way to go.
In other words, Shichika might fight at a distance. Evading the katana, he could nettle his enemy, trick him into leaping forward, and proceed to counterattack. A simple tactic, but simplicity truly is a virtue.
Except the Suzuran made this impossible. Legs firmly planted, all footwork was out of the question. The stance permitted next to zero movement. It seemed to dare the enemy to move in for a hit.
“…Hmm.”
In practice, it served only to encourage Komori’s wariness. Standing where he landed after making his first move, he puzzled at Shichika’s rigid pose. There had to be a reason to opt for such a stance against an armed opponent.
However callous this ninja seemed, he was a Maniwa─and no foil offered up on page one of the story30 just to demonstrate the protagonist’s prowess.
“How about this, Kyotoryu?”
Komori kicked the sand at his feet into a kind of smokescreen─but no, a smokescreen is for hiding. This was a sandstorm, blowing all the way to Shichika, to swarm his vision. Komori rushed through the cloud of sand─
And delivered one thrust after another.
“There! Side Splitter!”
A head-on assault.
Throwing all his weight.
While no swordsman, Komori knew this much─straight swords stab better than they slice.
But not this time.
“Kyotoryu─Kiku!”31
The tip of the blade never found Shichika. The smokescreen obstructed Komori’s own vision, and he did not catch Shichika swiping his hand and clearing the air before his eyes. The Master of the Kyotoryu hadn’t even blinked. Dodging a thrust bound for his abdomen, he swung his right foot in an arc and turned his left toes so that his left side faced his opponent.
The blade of the Leveler missed his bare back by a skin. He caught the sword near its grip in the crook of his left arm and, as if executing a pincer strike, shot out his right elbow against the tip─naturally, aiming for the flat of the blade in both instances.
Then, using his spine for a fulcrum.
He stilled the Leveler in midair.
“Gah─y-you!”
No matter how Komori thrusted or tugged, the Leveler wouldn’t budge. His sneering face was finally betraying signs of panic. This ninja had only just learned of the Kyotoryu; and though he had granted Shichika some chance of winning, the power of this seizure throttled him.
Now would be the time for Shichika to strike back─if this were a different story. Komori seemed to think as much, until he saw the absurd look on his opponent’s face.
As if he’d forgotten that he was in the middle of a battle, Shichika’s eyes were wide with fascination. His eyes darted from Komori to the steel of the Leveler. This simply stunned the ninja for a moment.
At almost the same time, both of them remembered they were fighting. Shichika released his grip on the Leveler and spun to face his enemy, who was within reach. Unbending the elbow he had whammed into the sword, he chopped with the blade of his hand.32
And when the ninja dodged his hand─Shichika answered with the blade of his foot.33
His heel just grazed the ninja’s throat, but this, too, he evaded─yet clearly unaccustomed to handling the ponderous Leveler, Komori could only dodge the blows. He had barely room to squirm. Up this close, no sword was at its best, even one created by the legendary swordsmith Kiki Shikizaki.
The endless flurry of chops and kicks drove Komori mad.
“Mother of hell!” he groaned, dropping almost to the sand. Turning the katana sideways so he could hug it close and tumble backwards, he rolled a safe distance away from Shichika. A retreat he only could have managed on a beach─but the real surprise was seeing the side with a sword fleeing from the side without one.
Shichika neglected to close in.
If there was a time for closing in, this was it─but not for him.
Komori sprang up and raised the Leveler─but not for battle. He rested the flat of the blade on his shoulder as if it were a piece of luggage. No student of swordplay would ever be caught dead holding a sword this way.
The ninja was running out of breath.
He must have meant it about not having had the chance to feed the mythic sword a human life─the Leveler was not under his complete control.
Was the illusion just an illusion, after all?
Was an illusion not reality?
It was ludicrous to think that mere possession of a Shikizaki blade would make you stronger─
“I gotta hand it to you, Kyotoryu. I haven’t seen a show like this in ages. First time since I became a Boss. I had my doubts about this swordless swordplay, but you wield your hands and feet as well as any blade. I can see why you would call yourself a swordsman. I’m impressed.”
“That was nothing. You’re the one who pulled a sword out of your mouth,” Shichika put the fight on hold to offer his rejoinder.
Lest he let his guard down, he resumed the Suzuran.
“That Leveler’s a bastard, too.”
“Ah.” Shichika’s choice of words prickled Komori. “What did you see, boy?”
“See? Look, that last move─the Kiku─where I caught the sword against my back─is not supposed to work that way. It’s used for catching a long sword, but the idea is to work your arms and elbows against your back to harness leverage─and snap the blade in half.”
Shichika acted out the strange ballet.
“But it didn’t even bend. Did my training fail me?”
“…”
“That sword─is totally weird.”
Komori sabered the air, as if showing off his favorite toy.
“Of course it is─as one of the mutant dozen. It would be far weirder if it weren’t weird, although I can’t claim to know anything beyond what that woman said. It wasn’t long ago that I learned of this crazy old coot Shikizaki. But Zetto the Leveler was made to be the hardest sword imaginable. People love to talk about how katana never bend or break or lose their edge, but as a rule, swords are expendable. To use them is to abuse them. But not so with the Leveler. It truly cannot break or bend, and thus can never lose its hard edge.”
“No way…”
Could such a sword─exist?
“People say the curved blade is what makes a katana resist breakage, but check this puppy out─no curve, but no nicks, down the entire blade. An elephant34 could step on it and it would look brand new. This thing’s worth millions! Kyahah!”
Komori reeked of greed. Money was his everything─or perhaps, more aptly, it was his mantra, a notion he used to insulate himself from the venom of the Shikizaki blade.
“That’s impossible. It’s like perpetual motion.35 If this sword is so hard, how could you ever make it?”
“Hell if I know. And if you don’t know, it’s not your place to ask. There’s only such a thing as stupid questions. That woman might know more, but my hunch is that this Shikizaki gramps wasn’t exclusively a swordsmith. He must have dabbled in the occult,36 and in alchemy. I bet he knew some scary tricks.”
Komori did not seem to care one bit.
He had no interest in developing a theory.
He was simply rational, as any ninja worth his stars should be.
“Scary tricks! I’d say pulling a sword out of your mouth is twelve times scarier. I can see now why it wouldn’t need a sheath, but that doesn’t explain why you would keep it in your stomach. Why can’t you carry it like a normal person?”
“Simpleton. Sticking this sword in a sheath would be boorish.37 Gotta have style.”
Komori laughed expansively.
“But hold on. Have we not already proven that the Kyotoryu is no match for a Shikizaki blade? Your sword-snapping move wasn’t much to snap at.”
“Mrg.”
“That did surprise me too, though, when I heard about it. Barehanded up against a weapon, most people would try to dodge it─their most aggressive move would still only catch it midair.38 But with you, Kyotoryu, you’re bent on snapping it in two. A most laudable achievement, I must say─if you could pull it off.”
“…Just watch.”
Accepting Komori’s challenge, Shichika shifted his stance.
One leg behind the other, unlike the open Suzuran.
Spear hands,39 staggered, but held at the same height.
“Kyotoryu Form Two─Suisen!”40
“I can see your stance is different from before, but what am I supposed to watch? You bleeding to death?”
“Wait and see. Once I snap that Leveler in half─”
“Idiot!!”
Another voice.
Shichika meant business, but his brazen declaration was riven by it. He turned to see where it had come from, and sure enough, he saw the Schemer.
Incandescent finery in disarray.
Soaked in sweat and out of breath.
No wonder, after rushing here in those cumbersome adornments and hollering at the top of her lungs─nevertheless, Togame managed to catch Shichika in a rigid stare.
Not Komori, who was so obviously the enemy, but Shichika.
“Snap it in half? We’re trying to collect them, not break them! If I gave the bakufu a broken sword, they’d have me spill my guts!41 Do you listen to a word that people say to you?”
“I was…”
She was right. Breaking swords was not the point.
The point was to amass all thousand of the Shikizaki blades─ideally, without damaging any.
The ninja had pushed his buttons, talking daggers about his school.
Ridiculing the Kyotoryu─meant ridiculing his father.
Is that…what did it?
Shichika didn’t know.
He had never thought or had to think about it─or rather.
He did have to think about it, but had never.
“I don’t remember agreeing to join you,” Shichika said.
“That’s not the issue! Do you have no sense of value?” Togame was enraged─her voice more ragged than her kimono. “No person with their head screwed on would dream of damaging a Shikizaki blade.”
“You got that right!” It was Komori who agreed. “I’d never harm something so valuable. And I know a thing or two about the market.”
Togame had much more to say to Shichika, but the ninja’s voice─so void of feeling─made her pause. She turned his way.
“Kyahah! We had a lovely boat ride, and from my perspective, we only just parted. But I’ll assume yours. Long time no see, Pussycat.”42
Mind you.
This was long before calling women “pussycat” fell out of favor.
“Komori Maniwa! You─”
“What’s gotten into you? You’ve been nothing but angry since you screamed your way in, you ball of energy. Upset your devoted ninja stabbed you in the back? Well, guess what. Ninjas stab. Dirty deeds43 are how we make a living.”
But then Komori took back what he said.
“Wait, maybe you do need to be upset here─no, you gotta be. If you weren’t─things wouldn’t add up. The story wouldn’t hang together.”
“Huh? What are you─”
“Nothing. Your timing really was impeccable, but forgive me, my dear Schemer, if I beg you to allow me to explain things later─let’s do lunch, once I demolish Kyotoryu.”
Komori trained his eyes on Shichika, who hadn’t broken the Suisen, despite the sudden visit from Togame.
“Nothing gets in the way of a match between two men. Wouldn’t you say, Kyotoryu? Come on. Tell her for me.”
“Togame, I can’t promise you I’ll head off on this journey, but one thing’s for sure─you’ll have this Leveler in no time. Just watch. You wanted to see the Kyotoryu in action, right? Here’s your chance.”
Those were Shichika’s words.
It wasn’t that he concurred with Komori’s about a match between two men.
The Leveler─the strange Shikizaki blade that not even the Kiku could destroy─had simply caught his interest.
“The sword must not be broken, or─”
“I know, I know, I won’t break it. Any other requests? I’ll do my best.”
“Well, let’s see…”
Togame gave this some thought.
“Something spectacular,” she said.
“Spectacular?”44
“Put on a good show. When we’re done collecting all twelve swords, I’ll need to write up a report detailing how things happened─give us something dashing. Something to make the readers keep on reading.”
“…”
“Look. You break this sword─even by mistake─and the story’s over. Before we’re even done with Book One.”
“Book One… You’re writing a whole book about this?”
“Not yet, but think of the sales.”
“Who would read this?”
Seriously.
What a pain to think about.
“Alright, I’ll show you the most45 spectacular move I’ve got─sorry to keep you waiting, Komori… Hey!”
While Shichika and Togame exchanged their pointless repartee, Komori had taken more than half the lengthy Leveler in his mouth─and down his guts.
“Ah.”
“Ah!”
It was too late. Komori coaxed the long sword deep inside him, up to the grip. Arresting as it had been to watch him stick his whole arm down and pull it out, it was even more alarming to watch him swallow the thing. No matter the angle, it didn’t physically add up. Unless his throat46 stretched all the way down to his ankles, there was no way he could stuff the entire sword into his body. But stuff the sword he did.
“Ahem. No, no. I should be the one apologizing. Shall we continue, Kyotoryu?”
“Continue what? You just swallowed the whole sword. How are we supposed to battle now? What’s the matter? Scared that I might break it this time?”
“You can’t break it─don’t even bother with that second stance. Sadly, our katana’s too much for me. I can’t keep up with it. I’m no swordsman, and dying on its account─now, that’d be too hard to swallow.47 Get the joke? Kyahah!”
Komori was quite pleased with himself.
“Your Kyotoryu’s all well and good against a sword, but if you’ll permit me to use my ninjutsu,48 I’m afraid that you can never win. It’s a matter of experience. I have it─you don’t.”
“Maybe so.”
Shichika could hardly argue with that.
This being his first battle.
“That swordplay was just my way of humoring you,” Komori added. “Consider it a present from your buddy the Hell-Made.”
“Quit screwing around!”
Once again, it was Togame doing the yelling.
She might have been even louder than before.
She was losing her temper.
“That’s not some toy for you to suck on. It’s one of Shikizaki’s Possessed! Spit it out. Now!”
“Spit it out? You’re one meddlesome Pussycat, aren’t you? Aren’t you too old to be caterwauling like that? Alright, alright. If you say so, I’ll spit it out…”
His pliancy was odd─even bizarre. Komori inhaled deeply, filling both his lungs and then some, until his back began to arch. His chest and stomach and entire upper body filled with air, like a balloon. He was the definition of bizarre.
Quite the sight to see.
Neither Shichika nor Togame could look away.
Which is to say.
They missed a beat.
“BLAAAAAAAAAAAGH!”
Komori spat out all his air.
Not the Leveler. Air.
But this wasn’t air alone. The air that he released was full of shuriken. A gale akin to that which slammed the hut where they’d left Nanami.
He was a cannon. Shooting stars.
This went beyond the gag of stuffing things in his body─his body was an arsenal, and ready, on command, to free a swarm of shuriken.
No matter how you looked at it.
Way stranger than the Kyotoryu or the Possessed.
“Nraaaagh!”
This menace was nothing like that screen of kicked-up sand, which Shichika had cleared with a swift wave of the palm. This menace had a precedent. And at this range, he wasn’t going to be gouged. He would be shredded.
Yet Shichika held his ground.
Try to escape, and he would perish.
It was lucky that he had maintained the Suisen─if it were the open Suzuran, he may have perished all the same. Reducing his exposed area to a minimum, he shielded his torso with his arm and leg. Those limbs would suffer many wounds─but his vital organs would remain intact.
Whooosh!
A mighty wind blew past his body.
Mighty enough to all but knock him over─but he persevered. Persevered─not even twitching as pain bloomed through his limbs.
“Owww…”
Though he couldn’t help but groan.
When he opened his eyes, four shuriken had bit into his arm and two into his leg, but none so very deep, since he had flexed his muscles in defense. Considering the number of stars thrown (up) in the assault, this was a precious bit of good luck among bad.49 No, this wasn’t about luck, good or otherwise. Shichika had put his training into practice. And it had worked.
“I could have sworn my arm and leg were blown off!”
This was no time to wallow in the pain. Shichika raised his head─embodying his inexperience. In battle, the dust rarely settles with a single blast. You can’t just catch your breath and have a look around.
Which is why─
“Oops.”
Even when Shichika looked─there was no one there.
No Komori.
No Togame.
“Oops.”
1 真庭 MANIWA “True Garden” actual city in Okayama
2 里 SATO small town; ninja settlement
3 手裏剣 SHURIKEN “palm-of-the-hand swords”
4 苦無 KUNAI metal dibbers weaponized as throwing knives
5 曲者 KUSE MONO ruffian
6 飛び道具 TOBIDŌGU projectile weapons
7 草鞋 WARAJI handmade straw sandals
8 手っ甲 TEKKŌ cloth armoring the wrists and the backs of the hands
9 尾行 BIKŌ “to chase somebody’s tail”
10 口幅ったい KUCHI HABATTAI “wide-mouthed”
11 出家 SHUKKE “leave home” become a monk/nun vs. 在家 ZAIKE lay believer
12 冷然 REIZEN frigid echoes 霊前 REIZEN, the space before a tombstone
13 忍ぶ者 SHINOBU MONO alternate reading emphasizes the literal sense of 忍者 NINJA
14 山林 SANRIN montane forest
15 蝙蝠 KŌMORI “The Bat” as in the flying mammal
16 千客万来 SENKYAKU BANRAI “a thousand guests, ten thousand arrivals”
17 忍者刀 NINJATŌ ninja sword
18 座興 ZAKYŌ parlor trick
19 ずるずる ZURU ZURU onomatopoeia for a sloppy mess
20 冥土の蝙蝠 MEIDO NO KŌMORI the synonym for hell is homophonous with “maid” (as in cosplay)
21 彎刀 WANTŌ curved blades in general
22 切刃造 KIRIHA ZUKURI straight blades with a chisel tip
23 五尺 GOSHAKU five shaku = approx. five feet
24 二筋樋 NISUJIHI long grooves that lighten the mass of the blade
25 綾杉肌 AYASUGIHADA 綾杉 AYASUGI Japanese cedar 肌 HADA skin (bark)
26 百薬の長 HYAKUYAKU NO CHŌ “the leader among a hundred medicines”
27 報復絶刀 HŌFUKU ZETTŌ “payback from the Zetto” pun on 抱腹絶倒 HŌFUKU ZETTŌ, to laugh so hard it hurts
28 実戦 JISSEN real fighting (vs. training)
29 鈴蘭 SUZURAN “The Lily of the Valley” an erect, poisonous flower
30 物語 MONOGATARI tale, e.g. 源氏物語 The Tale of Genji
31 菊 KIKU “The Chrysanthemum” dense, uniformly colored blossom
32 手刀 SHUTŌ “hand katana”
33 足刀 SOKUTŌ “foot katana”
34 象 ZŌ elephant
35 永久機関 EIKYŪ KIKAN an “eternal engine” defying the laws of physics
36 陰陽道 ONMYŌDŌ “the ying yang way” of divination vs. 道教 DŌKYŌ Taoism
37 無粋 BUSUI not “cool” (粋 IKI)
38 真剣白羽取り SHINKEN SHIRAHA DORI catching a real sword with bare hands
39 貫手 NUKITE straight fingers, closed and rigid
40 水仙 SUISEN “The Narcissus” homophone with 垂線 SUISEN “perpendicular,” suggestive of the stance
41 腹を切らされる HARA WO KIRASARERU forced to commit 切腹 SEPPUKU self-disembowelment
42 子猫ちゃん KONEKOCHAN “little kitty”
43 卑怯卑劣 HIKYŌ HIRETSU “unfair and foul”
44 派手 HADE garish
45 いっとう ITTŌ “the most” echoes 一刀 ITTŌ “a single slash”
46 食道 SHOKUDŌ “food path” esophagus
47 忍びねえ SHINOBINEH unendurable (in the original, the joke is a pun on 忍者 NINJA)
48 忍術 NINJUTSU ninja techniques
49 不幸中の幸い FUKŌCHŪ NO SAIWAI silver lining