Chapter 8: Born That Way

“Morning, Taichi.”

Taichi’s next encounter with Nagase the following Monday proved to be about as awkward as he expected.

“...Morning, Nagase.”

There was an uncomfortable pause.

Then she clapped her hands to either side of her smooth face like she was revving herself up for something.

“You promised me somethin’, man to man! Promised you’d keep on treatin’ me the same as always, no matter what! Ain’t that right, my guy?!”

“What kind of weird stage persona is this supposed to be?” Taichi retorted.

“You promised me somethin’, man to man! Promised you’d keep on treatin’ me the same as always, no matter what! Ain’t that right, my guy?!”

“You don’t have to repeat yourself! And you’re not a man!” He paused. “Wait, were you just trying to get me to say that?!”

Nagase chuckled, though that wasn’t a confirmation either way. “I wonder why promises sound so much more passionate when you add the ‘man to man’ part... ‘Woman to woman’ or ‘woman to man’ just doesn’t have the same ring to it...”

“Beats me... Anyway, are you doing okay?” It was a bit random, but he’d suddenly felt the impulse to ask.

“...Yeah, totally!” She smiled and made a peace sign with her hand... but was it safe to take her word at face value?

“Well, if there’s anything I can do for you, just let me know.” It was all he knew how to say.

“Will do. Thanks... You’re a nice guy,” Nagase muttered, staring at the floor in an uncharacteristically shy display. Then her expression hardened. “But... I think there’s someone else who needs your concern more than me.”

Taichi followed her melancholy gaze to the door to find that one rather exhausted-looking Inaba Himeko had just arrived.

□■□■□

Inaba’s health didn’t seem to have improved over the weekend. If anything, she appeared to be getting worse. As worried as Taichi was about Nagase, he was just as worried for Inaba, too—especially with her complexion growing more and more pale by the day.

But without any meaningful way to help her, the days simply slipped by... until Friday, during fourth period history class.

After the usual brief lapse into darkness—the word “usual” having become unfortunately applicable these days—Taichi was suddenly hit with an intense wave of nausea.

“Hgghh?!”

He quickly clapped a hand over his mouth to try to keep it down. Then, without even checking to see [who] he was, he jumped to his feet and bolted from the classroom. He could hear the puzzled murmurs of his classmates, but he didn’t have the mental bandwidth to care at the moment. He needed a toilet.

Checking his legs, he could see that he was wearing black knee-high socks and a skirt.

And so into the girls’ restroom he went.

He dashed into the closest stall and emptied the contents of [her] mouth. Another wave rose up in [her] throat, and he heaved that up as well. The back of [her] throat burned from the stomach acid, and it was so unpleasant he half-wished he could tear out [her] esophagus altogether. On top of everything else, he had a throbbing migraine, too.

Then someone else dashed in.

“Inaban?! You okay?!”

It was Nagase. Evidently he was in [Inaba’s body].

“That you in there, Taichi? Good grief...” Next he heard [his own voice], tinged with annoyance—undoubtedly Inaba herself. “Surely you could’ve tried to hold out a little longer than that! What a wuss...”

“Hey, guys... Yeah, it’s me... Not sure how you expected me to withstand that, honestly...” [Inaba] (Taichi) groaned as he shambled over to the sink to splash water on [her] face.

At that point, their teacher rushed in to check on them, and [Taichi] (Inaba) explained that [Inaba] hadn’t been feeling well that day, and that [he] would make sure to take [her] down to the infirmary. Their teacher was evidently eager to get back to class, as he promptly took [Taichi’s] word at face value and left without even checking on Inaba himself.

“Iori, you should go back to class, too. I’ll handle [this].”

“I told you, you need to take better care of yourself, Inaban... You’re really starting to worry me, you know...” Nagase muttered. Then she turned to [Inaba] (Taichi). “You feeling okay, Taichi?”

“...Yeah. I feel a lot better after getting it out of my system... I could probably go back to class, even.”

“Taichi! Don’t forget you’re borrowing [Inaba’s body] right now!” she scolded, a finger pointed firmly in his direction.

“...Oh, right. Sorry. I should be more careful with [other people’s bodies]...” He felt guilty for his total lack of consideration.

“But not your own?” [Taichi] (Inaba) shot back pointedly.

“I’m not sure I wanna leave you two to deal with this on your own... Especially since neither of you ever stop to worry about yourselves... Either you go rest in the infirmary, or you leave school early and rest at home! You got that?”

After a stern, motherly scolding, Nagase finally headed back to class.

“Why does she keep going on and on about that? Doesn’t she trust us?” [Inaba] (Taichi) muttered.

“I know, right? Sheesh,” [Taichi] (Inaba) answered. “Anyway, let’s go to the clubroom.”

“...I’m detecting a hint of irony here...”

And so they headed to the clubroom.

Right as they arrived, however, Taichi and Inaba reverted to their original bodies.

“Ah... We’re back...” Taichi muttered to himself.

“Yep...” Inaba replied.

“What now? Wanna just go to the infirmary? Though, I guess it’s possible there might be another body-swap...”

Inaba had chosen the clubroom over the infirmary because, according to her, she was uncomfortable leaving someone in [her ailing body] without her direct supervision.

“There’s just no telling what might happen there... Anyway, it’s no big deal. If I have to sleep, I can just do it here.” With that, she lowered herself onto the clubroom couch, using the armrest as a pillow. The couch didn’t offer much room to stretch out, but it was functional, at least. “Ugh... Sorry to put you through that, Taichi. You can go back to class now.”

“Gee, that sounds like a great idea! Please. I’m not gonna just leave you like this. I know you got all the nausea out of your system, but you’re dead tired and you have a headache.”

“That’s not what you told Iori. And save the sarcasm, you dick.”

“Don’t call me a dick. Focus on getting better.”

There was a slight pause.

“I’m just a burden right now, aren’t I...? I’m sorry...” Inaba whispered faintly, staring up at the ceiling. There was a hint of emotion in her voice.

“No, you’re not a burden... but I know you know how serious this is. As it stands, we’re just a single badly-timed body-swap away from another incident like we had today. But this isn’t about the body-swap. This is about your health, plain and simple.”

“Yeah...” Inaba replied vaguely, resting her arm over her eyes.

For once, this actually pissed him off.

“Look, Inaba. You need to get your shit together, okay? Something’s clearly up with you lately. First you pass out, and now this? All you ever say is ‘I’m fine, don’t worry,’ but everybody knows it’s bull. We’ve literally been [you], remember? You always used to be super healthy, but then the body-swap happened, and now look at you! Obviously we’re gonna worry about you! Would it really kill you to tell us what’s going on? At least then maybe we could help you!” He exhaled. “If I’m wrong, and this is just some unrelated disease, then please just say so. I won’t even ask you to go into detail about it.”

He knew he probably wasn’t in any position to get on this soapbox—at least, not in Inaba’s eyes—but he just couldn’t let this slide any longer.

“God, will you quit freaking out already? You’re making my head hurt.”

There she goes, dodging the question again!

“Inaba... I want to help you, okay?!”

Perhaps his sincerity had finally gotten through to her. She sat upright, her posture as flawless as ever despite her current condition. Then she looked up at him.

“Why, exactly, do you want to help me? And don’t you give me any of that ‘because I want to’ or ‘because we’re friends’ crap.”

“Uh...” He fell silent—she’d beaten him to the punch—before promptly finding a different answer. “Well, you’re always looking out for us, you know? Your actions might not always make sense to us, but you always lend a hand when we need it most. And now I want to repay the favor.”

He looked down on her with a grin, daring her to find fault with his reasoning.

But Inaba simply snorted.

“Spare me the melodrama already... So if I didn’t look out for you, you wouldn’t help me?”

“Well, no, I’d still help you either way... C’mon, don’t be mean.”

“I’m not being mean,” she responded flatly, and Taichi had no response.

“Nnggh...”

Unless a groan counted as a response, anyway.

“I gotta say, I don’t get why you people care so much. Why are you all such good people? Makes no sense to me... Maybe if you’d all try being a bit more evil, things would be different... No, that’s not right. I’m probably the one who needs to change.”

Taichi had a feeling there was something more hidden behind this casual commentary.

Then it hit him: hadn’t Inaba let her guard down like this multiple times in the past?

All this time, she’d done nothing but expound on the dangers of the body-swap, and Taichi—no, all four of them—had assumed it was just a warning and nothing more.

After all, they knew what she was like. She was hyper-competent, and so she had very little to worry about when it came to herself. Hence, she spent all her time criticizing the others, helping them improve—

But what if they were all unconsciously laboring under a giant misconception about her?

He slowly worked up the nerve to speak, knowing his voice would shake as he asked...

“Inaba... are you... doing okay?”

“In what sense? Physically? I’ll be fine after a little rest.”

“No, not physically... I mean, are you doing okay with the body-swap?”

He could tell he probably had a weepy, pained look on his face.

But Inaba smiled—softly, sweetly, warmly, gently, serenely.

She wasn’t the type to try to hide her emotions, but she tended to give off the impression that she kept everything behind a steely façade. Normally any emotional outbursts were performative at best—and yet here she was now, her protective walls gone, her vulnerabilities exposed; and Taichi knew he needed to pay close attention.

Then she spoke.

“No. I’m not okay.”

I knew it.

Granted, Inaba’s “warnings” were almost certainly intended for their benefit to some degree... but for the most part, she was probably just venting. Anxiety came with the territory of being smart... Maybe she’d just wanted to get it off her chest.

In the past, she referred to the body-swap as “hopeless”... Didn’t that imply, then, that she herself felt hopeless?

And yet he’d completely failed to realize it. Instead, he deluded himself into thinking she was too strong to get hurt—right up until she fell apart.

She was right. He really was a stupid goddamn martyr.

The body-swap was to blame for her condition—but so were they for failing to notice.

She was the smartest person in the club, and because of that, no one tried to read any deeper.

Just then, her eyes widened. “Wait... No, that’s not right... Forget I said that.”

Which part of it “wasn’t right,” exactly?

“I mean, uh... By ‘not okay,’ I just mean in general. No one in their right mind would be ‘okay’ with switching bodies all the time. I’m not saying there’s... anything wrong with me specifically.”

Her desperate excuse only served to confirm just how awfully he’d been treating her all this time.

“The biggest victim of the body-swap... It’s you, isn’t it?”

Some “friend” he turned out to be.

The strength drained from his legs, and he collapsed to his knees on the spot.

“Did you switch bodies again? ...No, doesn’t seem like it... Great. Just great. Ugh, I’m off my game today... I let my guard down in front of the worst possible enemy...” Inaba bit her thumbnail in frustration.

“That’s what I am to you? An enemy...?”

“No... That’s not what I meant. You...” Inaba fell silent and glanced around the room, visibly hesitant. She was always so forthright—except when it came to her own emotions. “...You guys mean the world to me. You’re my best friends... which is why you’re also my worst enemies.”

It was quite possibly the first time she’d ever opened up about something so deeply personal. But what was the significance behind the word “enemy”?

“What do you—?”

“This conversation ends here.”

With that, the door to her heart slammed firmly shut once more.

“What, after all that? You can’t just leave me hanging, Inaba. If you really see us as your friends—even a dumbass like me—then let us shoulder some of the pain. I can’t bear to see you suffering like this.”

“Then don’t look.”

“That’s not the point and you know it!”

Did she seriously intend to bear this burden all on her own? She should’ve known he would never let her do that.

Turning a blind eye, running away, making excuses—what was the point? It didn’t change anything. The pain was still there. So the only option was to accept it, reflect on it, and move past it.

That was all there was to it.

Taichi pushed himself to his feet.

“What kind of friends are we, if you can’t tell me why you’re hurting?”

Her expression crumpled like she was on the verge of tears. “But... the moment I tell you, our friendship is over—!”

“No matter what it is, I guarantee you, our friendship is strong enough to handle it. Don’t underestimate me, Inaba.”

Times like these, he was reminded that she was an ordinary teen girl like any other. For as strong as she was, she had her weaknesses, too.

“How am I supposed to believe that...? I’m not like you people... I’m fucked up beyond repair!”

She was shaking now; her pale, slender fingers dug into the leather of the sofa so tightly, Taichi thought they might break.

Am I sure I want to do this?

Maybe it wasn’t the right thing to do... but he needed to do it. He needed to understand, or else he couldn’t help her. He wanted to take that first step, even if it meant he’d get hurt in the process.

“It’ll be fine, Inaba. I promise. I’m going to fix you,” he declared without an ounce of hesitation.

Honestly, he was probably an idiot for making a promise he wasn’t sure he could keep. But something told him he needed to say it in order to get to the heart of the matter.

Inaba looked at him and balled her hands into fists. She twisted around and punched the wall as hard as she could—hard enough to hurt herself. “How the fuck can you say that?! You don’t even have the first clue what it is! God, I can’t fucking understand you... Fine, whatever. I’ll just lay it all out on the table.” She glared up at him sharply, almost hatefully.

It’ll be fine, Taichi told himself.

“The truth is... I... I can’t trust any of you.”

That was... not what he’d been expecting.

Meanwhile, her voice took on a hostile edge. “When you switch bodies with someone, you don’t just get their [body]—you get their whole [identity]. You know what that means?”

Taichi felt himself starting to lose his nerve.

“It means you can do whatever you want—commit any crime you like—and the fault will stay with that [identity]. You can kill or steal or rape... and at the end of the day, you walk away scot-free.”

“But that would be a totally messed-up thing to do—”

“And? Who gives a shit about anyone else?” Inaba interjected coldly. “Maybe my examples were a little extreme. Nonetheless, any time you switch bodies with someone, you could easily search their house, dig up secrets, swipe pocket money, crap like that. Right?”

“Well... yeah, but...”

“So I keep worrying you guys are going to do that shit. Whenever one of you is in [my body], I can’t stop obsessing over what you people might do with it. I’m so scared, I can’t even sleep at night.” The dark circles under her eyes seemed more pronounced than ever. “But more than that, I hate myself for thinking it. I wish I was dead.” She paused. “I consider you all to be my friends... and I understand you guys would never do anything like that. Really. I know I probably sound like I’m contradicting myself, but I need you to believe that.” Pause. “But... that doesn’t stop me being scared. I know it’s stupid, but my brain goes crazy thinking up all these terrifying what-if scenarios. Whenever we switch back, I can’t stop myself from double-checking to make sure everything’s just the way I left it. And... I’m terrified you guys will discover just how fucked-up I really am inside.” Her monologue continued as though the dam inside her had finally burst. “All this time, I thought everyone was like that. No matter how much somebody claims to trust everyone, I figured they had to be at least a little suspicious of each other, deep down. But once the body-swap started, I realized... you guys really do all trust each other, even me. None of you were even remotely scared... So what kind of awful bitch did that make me?”

She wasn’t choosing not to trust them—she was literally incapable of it. She knew they trusted her, and as much as she wanted to return to the favor, she couldn’t. Taichi could only imagine the pain she must have felt.

“Look, Inaba... No one’s going to hate you for it. I can promise you that.”

No matter how she felt towards them on the inside, she was still their friend.

“Okay, maybe you won’t suddenly decide you hate me... but now that you know, can you really guarantee it won’t change anything?”

“Well...”

“Because I can’t. Now that I’ve told someone I care about that I don’t return their trust... I can’t just pretend nothing happened. I’m not that callous.”

No matter how Taichi and the others felt, it didn’t change how Inaba herself felt about it.

Inaba took a breath and put a hand to her chest. Evidently her next words required a bit more courage.

“I don’t trust a single person on this planet, not even my own family. To me they’re all enemies. And out of everyone, my biggest enemies are you four, because... assuming I’m not just full of myself... you guys trust me more than anyone else does. I just... It would be so much easier if I could just be a total misanthrope, you know? But even with my trust issues, I still can’t bring myself to hate people... I still want to have friends... So I’m just caught in the middle, and every day is fucking suffering...!” She let out a dry laugh, scoffing at herself. “There... I said it.”

“Well, in that case—” Taichi began, but stopped short.

As he searched for his next words, Inaba curled her lip in a bitter smirk. “Just warning you now, you can keep searching all you like, but there’s no way to ‘fix’ me. I was just... born this way.” Now that the floodgates had opened, Inaba continued her tirade tirelessly. “I don’t have some traumatic past like Yui or Iori. In fiction you always get these characters who end up with twisted personalities due to some tragic backstory, and the audience tends to feel sorry for them or whatever. But that’s not so bad, really. At least then they have a reason they turned out that way, you know? That way they’re a tiny bit redeemable. All they need to unfuck themselves is for someone to come along and heal their scars! But what about someone who never had a tragic backstory? They were just... born defective. And there’s no fixing it. Once you’re born a certain way, changing it means changing who you are as a person... and if that isn’t pitiful, I don’t know what is.” She waved a hand in deprecation. “Not that I think I’m some tragic heroine or something... Anyway, the rest of this is just my own personal opinion, but I think for most people, emotional trauma in real life doesn’t have a single concrete cause like you see in fiction. Of course, I’m not trying to claim there was some mysterious external factor that caused me to turn out the way I did. But for most people, there’s no big life-shattering event. They’re just born with certain traits that lead one way or another. In fiction there’s always an underlying problem that needs to be solved, because that’s just how storytelling works. But if you ask me, in the real world, most ‘problems’ don’t have solutions. No story, no resolution... And in that sense, maybe there’s no ‘fixing’ your martyrdom, either. I mean, you were just born that way, right?”

Going by her logic, that would certainly be the case. Nine times out of ten, there would simply be no “fixing” a person.

“Yeah... You might be right. Maybe there’s just no fixing someone who was never traumatized to begin with,” Taichi answered.

He didn’t think she was wrong, per se—but he didn’t believe that she was right, either. At least, he didn’t want to believe it. He didn’t want to live in a world that hopeless.

Then something occurred to him—something that would possibly anger her. But Taichi decided to press forward regardless. No matter what happened, he refused to sidestep the issue. They needed to move past it.

Inaba had been so desperate to keep it hidden that she’d pushed herself to the point of collapse... and now he had made her reveal it all. Thus, it was his burden to bear.

“But maybe you’re fine just the way you are.”

As it turned out, he truly was optimistic to a fault.

“Excuse me?” Inaba narrowed her eyes at him dubiously.

“Well, if it’s just how you were born, then it’s probably no big deal, right? That’s what I think, anyway.”

God must have given them those traits for a reason, or so Taichi surmised.

For a while she struggled to process his statement—until after a while, just as expected, she began to shake with silent fury. Without a doubt, he’d really kicked the hornet’s nest with this one.

“Oh, I see... So you think I’ve just been obsessing over nothing, is that it? You think I’m stupid for worrying myself sick?”

For the first time in his life, Taichi discovered what it felt like to provoke someone’s murderous rage.

“I... I never said anything like that!” For a moment, he contemplated dropping the issue... but sooner or later they needed to confront it. No pain, no gain. That was just how the world worked. “But, yeah, I guess ultimately that’s what I’m getting at.”

“TAICHI!” Inaba jumped to her feet, stormed over, and seized him by the collar. Anger burned in her large, almond-shaped eyes, scarcely hidden by her long lashes. Her lips were still pale, but her cheeks were flushed—and paired with her natural beauty, her livid expression served well to conceal any lingering traces of poor health.

All this time, he’d assumed she was just as tough on the inside as she looked to be on the outside... but now he knew better. Inaba was no stronger than any of them.

Her grip was making it a little hard to breathe, but Taichi continued regardless. “I meant... maybe... that applies to you, too.”

Her eyes widened in shock.

“I mean, don’t get me wrong... It sucks that you don’t trust us, but I don’t think you need to force yourself to change. We’ll accept you just the way you are... even if things don’t stay exactly the way they were before.”

He felt her grip tighten.

“If I were you, I’d never accept someone as fucked-up as me!” Her face was a breath away from his, twisted with misery.

At this point, he knew he had to be blunt.

“Well, too bad. I already have.”

All at once, the strength drained from her fingers. “What are you even talking about...?”

“Like I said, I’ve already accepted you for who you are... and I’m sure Nagase and Kiriyama and Aoki will do the same. You should just tell them, Inaba. You’ll feel better getting it off your chest. Plus, once it’s out in the open, you can just focus on preventive measures. Problem solved.”

“Wh... Are you braindead?! There’s no way it’ll go over that easily!” she shrieked. Evidently her bafflement was starting to win out over her anger.

“There’s no guarantee it won’t, though.”

“Give me a break! I can’t just tell them! It’s too risky! What if they turn against me?! What am I supposed to do then?!”

Truth be told, if that were the case, there wouldn’t be much they could do about it. But for once, Inaba was seeking someone else’s advice—looking for help instead of handling everything herself. Surely there had to be something he could do for her... and yet Taichi couldn’t think of the perfect solution.

“Even if they do, you’ll still have me. Does that work for you?”

“Wha...?!” Speechless, Inaba staggered back a step... then another... and stared at him like he’d grown a second head. “Do... Do you even hear yourself when you say this tripe...?! God, you’re so naive...!”

Surely it’s not THAT big of a deal, Taichi thought to himself. “Anyway, the first step is for you to accept yourself for who you are, Inaba. I can’t help you there.”

That was the starting point—even if “who she was” would end up changing later on.

“I can’t believe I’m letting you lecture me...” With a few more steps backwards, she bumped into the couch, and collapsed onto it as though her legs had given out. She flopped down sideways, curled up in a ball, and buried her face in her arms. It was the first time Taichi had ever seen her so blatantly vulnerable.

He decided to give her some time, so he took a seat in the nearest folding chair.

It looked like they would end up skipping fourth period entirely.

Here they were, just the two of them, while all the other hundreds of students were off in class. It was peaceful in a way he couldn’t quite understand or explain... but he hoped Inaba felt the same.

Suddenly, Inaba shot upright. “Nope! I can’t do it!”

“Can’t do what?”

“I can’t show the others how fucked up I am. No matter how hard I try, I can only see things going badly...” She hung her head, covering her face with her hands. The usual arrogant, headstrong Inaba was nowhere to be found.

“But it worked out fine with me—”

“Look, you’re not like most people, okay?”

...Is she trying to say I’m weird?

After a moment, something else occurred to him.

“Listen, Inaba. I think when people force themselves to try and keep a secret hidden from the whole world, sometimes it can make that secret seem way bigger than it actually is.”

“You’re just saying that—”

“So, I’ve decided I’m going to share with you a secret that I was planning to take to my grave.”

“What?” Inaba stared at him in shock for the umpteenth time that day.

“Seriously, it’s bad. Real bad. If this gets out, I’m dead. I’ll have to quit school—quit society—quit life! Or at least... that’s how I feel, anyway.” This was his big idea in the first place, and yet already his voice was starting to shake. Was he sure he wanted to go down this road? If he screwed this up, the outcome would be no laughing matter... He was starting to lose his nerve.

“And what would I stand to gain from you doing this? Don’t tell me you’re aiming for some kind of ‘you spill yours, I spill mine’ thing...”

“That’s exactly what I’m aiming for, actually.”

Her face twitching, Inaba stood up, silently walked forward—

“Hyah!”

—and shoved the table right into his gut.

“Guh!”

What was that for?!

“WHAT KINDA SHIT-FOR-BRAINS ARE YOU?!”

For a moment, her scream made him freeze up.

“K-Keep your voice down, Inaba! I know we’re in the Rec Hall, but people are technically in class right now—”

BAM! Inaba slammed her fist on the table. “Goddamn it... Every little thing is pissing me the fuck off...! I’ve been stressed out for a while now, but this? This is the final straw.” Her eyes shone with a sadistic glint. “Now let’s hear this little secret of yours, shall we...?!”

Her lips curled in a wicked grin. Now that was the Inaba they all knew and loved.

Granted, a tiny part of him was starting to think maybe he would have been better off with the other, less dangerous Inaba... but he ignored it.

“Okay, but... you have to promise that you’ll tell everyone the truth—”

“You first. Then I’ll decide from there. After all, what I told you was technically a secret, so this way we’ll be even.”

Taichi swallowed hard. Truth be told, he was sincerely terrified to admit it—especially to a girl. But as much as he wanted to run from this, he knew he had to move forward.

Screw it.

“Okay... Here I go...”

This was the most nervous he’d ever been in all his life. His whole body was numb, and he felt kind of queasy. Inaba seemed to sense his apprehension; she tensed up like she was bracing herself for it.

And so Taichi resigned himself to his fate.

“I’ve... touched myself thinking about you before.”

Time came to a stop.

The room froze like it was the South Pole.

He didn’t move a muscle, afraid of melting the ice and opening the floodgates. He wanted to delay her reaction for as long as possible.

But unfortunately, time hadn’t actually stopped.

“Touched yourself, as in... that kind of touching yourself...?” she asked.

“......Yeah. That kind of touching myself.”

“Ah... I see... And you were thinking about me at the time... Which means you’ve probably thought about Iori and Yui that way too, right...?”

Despair sank in. He had no choice but to nod.

“I see... So you jerk off to girls you know in real life...”

There was something terrifying about the way she calmly laid it all out, point by point.

“...You thought about me when you were... Pffft! Keheheh... GahaHAAAhahaha!” She clutched her stomach as she cackled. Gasping for breath, she collapsed back on the couch and slapped the leather in her mirth.

“Wh—Look, I don’t do it all the time, okay?! Just like once or twice in the past! Are you listening to me?!” Even without a mirror, he could tell that his face was bright red.

“Aaaiihahahah! Aaah... My sides... Keheheh...” Tears flowed from her eyes by the time her laughter finally subsided, and she was wheezing like she’d just run an entire marathon. She would pause to wipe her eyes, take a deep breath... and then burst out laughing all over again at the memory of it.

Then, finally, once she was calm, she let out a heavy sigh—and the next instant, she shot Taichi a half-lidded glare so cold it was practically spine-chilling.

“YOU PERVERT!” Her voice was dripping with contempt and revulsion. “Sicko! Horndog! Creep! Degenerate! Lowlife! Freak! Dirty mongrel! Pig!”

Each word cut him to pieces. He started to wonder whether someone could die from verbal assault.

“Nngghh...” He couldn’t even formulate words anymore. His life was over... This was all a huge mistake...

“But...” Finally, Inaba’s glare softened. “Maybe you’re fine just the way you are, too.” She grinned. “I gotta say, I wasn’t expecting that kind of thing from you, Taichi... Do all guys get like this when they hit puberty? Still, it was pretty ballsy of you... One wrong move and you would’ve been dead meat... You’re lucky I happen to have a high tolerance for this sort of thing. But don’t you dare breathe a word of that to the other girls, you hear me? Good lord.”

“I told you it was really bad! I could never admit this sort of thing to anyone but you!”

“Just me, huh... Should I be flattered...? God, this is all so stupid! You’re stupid for admitting to that crap! For thinking it would convince me! For thinking I’d be cool with it! And I’m stupid for... actually being cool with it... but most of all, I’m stupid for finding it genuinely touching...!” She looked up at the ceiling and pinched her tear ducts, trying her hardest not to cry. But evidently she was too late; she hastily rubbed her eyes with her sleeve. “It... It’s not what you think! These are just... leftover tears from all that laughing! Got it?!”

Act your age, Taichi thought. But then he realized that she was.

Ultimately, they were all just kids—full of worries, full of pain. And they couldn’t carry it alone; they needed someone to help shoulder the burden from time to time... though maybe that was less of a “kid” thing and more of a “human” thing.

“You know, I’m surprised you don’t have your own handkerchief. Thought all the girls had one,” Taichi mused as he approached her to hand her his.

“Goddamnit... What the hell is your problem?! You and your stupid half-wit antics... Are you trying to make me fall for you, too...?”

While admittedly they were in no real rush, they decided it would be better to just get the whole thing over with as soon as possible—and so they summoned the rest of the CRC for a club meeting.

The battle was to take place at lunch in the clubroom. In the meantime, a very red-faced Inaba had tasked Taichi with the duty of promptly forgetting “all that crying and stupid shit I said,” or else she would “fucking crucify” him.

And so the bell rang, signaling the end of fourth period and the start of lunch break...

“...And that’s about the gist of it.”

Inaba wasted no time in dumping her entire angst-ridden spiel onto Nagase, Kiriyama, and Aoki. Up until now she’d been so reluctant to admit any of it, but once she made up her mind about something, she was fully committed to seeing it through. That was just the sort of person she was.

That said, her fear hadn’t gone anywhere, and her knees shook the whole time she stood before them.

As for Taichi, he was fine with it, and he’d told her as much. He was confident the other three would accept her regardless. Now all he could do was watch and pray. If somehow things didn’t work out as expected... and her biggest fear came to pass... would she ever forgive him? Worse still, what would happen to the Cultural Research Club itself?

But knowing the three of them, that would never happen.

None of them said a word (because Inaba had demanded they shut up and listen). Then, finally, Nagase was the first to break the silence. “Okay, wait... So basically...”

She paused for a moment. Inaba stiffened. How would Nagase respond to this confession?

“...you have anxiety?”

That... was nowhere near the sort of reaction Taichi had been expecting.

“Wh... Anxiety? Iori, were you even listening to me? That’s a gross oversimplification of the issue here...!” Inaba stammered, baffled.

To Nagase Iori, Inaba Himeko’s trust issues were merely a bad case of anxiety.

Then Kiriyama spoke. “Honestly, I can totally relate. Whenever I finish a swap with Aoki, I like always check [my body]. And then I make sure none of my stuff is missing.”

“Wow! That actually really hurts my feelings! Why me, specifically?! What about Taichi?!” Aoki wailed.

“Shut up! That’s what you get for acting like such a creep all the time!” Kiriyama shot back, crushing him instantly.

“Uh, hello...? Don’t you people have anything else to say about it?” Inaba cut in.

“Hmm... Well, you’re definitely overreacting about the crimes thing. But don’t worry! I have the good sense not to do anything like that. I don’t even jaywalk, hardly!” Kiriyama proudly thrust out her chest.

As it turned out, Kiriyama had had similar worries (though the severity and subject of said worries were slightly different)—and thus she accepted it without hesitation.

“Okay, listen. Your whole trust issues thing... That applies to everyone, right?! Not just me?!” Aoki asked desperately.

“Does it even matter...?” Inaba muttered.

“Of course it matters! It’s the most important part! I couldn’t care less ‘bout the rest!” Evidently Aoki was totally cool with it to the point that he didn’t even care.

And that was the extent of their commentary.

“For the time being, Inaban,” Nagase spoke, her tone unusually firm, “I’d say your first priority should be...” She waited until she had everyone’s attention. “...to dash down to the classroom and get your lunch!” She held up a red and white checkered lunch bag at eye level and gave it a little shake, all the while keeping her expression dead serious.

“Definitely,” Kiriyama agreed.

“Totally,” Aoki nodded.

“Well, that’s that decided! Go grab it! You too, Taichi. I’m starving!” With that, Nagase pushed the two of them out of the clubroom. Meanwhile, she whispered something into Inaba’s ear, though he didn’t catch what she said.

For a while, Inaba stumbled along on autopilot, as though her brain was still struggling to process everything that had taken place. Then, finally, she opened her mouth to speak.

“I worried about that shit to the point of passing out, and yet they think it’s somehow less important than lunch?! Shouldn’t they care a little more than that, at least?!”

She was completely right.

Though, depending on one’s interpretation, maybe to them this just wasn’t worth getting worked up over in the first place. After all, she was just... born that way. That said, Taichi didn’t find her stupid for worrying about it as much as she had... because, again, depending on one’s interpretation, it was serious enough to affect her entire life.

Inaba sighed. “It all feels so idiotic now... What the hell was I even worried about? What did I freak out for?”

If she was already starting to change her mind about it, then maybe that proved it wasn’t as big of a deal as she’d originally thought. And as far as Taichi was concerned, that was a good thing.

“...Well, whatever. At least now I’ve got critical dirt on you... and that means I have you utterly at my mercy for the rest of your high school career.”

...This was not a “whatever”-level statement for Taichi.

“Look, uh, Inaba... Could you maybe suppress that memory... or ideally, erase it entirely...?”

“Fuck no.”

...His only option would be to spend the rest of high school kissing her ass.

Taichi sighed like his life was over. Inaba burst out laughing and moved to slap him on the back. But then, she stopped short and put her hand on his shoulder.

“But since I won’t be forgetting your secret, I’ll tell you one of mine. That way we’re in the same boat.” She drew her lips right up to his ear, and he caught a whiff of something sugary, like honey. As she whispered, her hot breath gently brushed against his skin. “I’ve touched myself thinking about you, too.”

Instantly, he was hit with a mix of embarrassment, shock, and panic.

“Wh... wha...?!”

Then... that means... she... you know... about... you-know-what...?!

Meanwhile, Inaba cackled. Evidently she found his utter lack of composure highly entertaining.