Chapter 6: Can’t Unsee It

The next morning, Kiriyama came to school, just as she’d promised.

The second the news broke, Nagase bolted out of the classroom and dashed over to hug her. Kiriyama seemed a little embarrassed by this reaction, but was delighted all the same.

It had been quite some time since all four of them—Taichi, Nagase, Kiriyama, and Aoki—last chatted.

Though Kiriyama had been absent for over a week, Class 1-A welcomed her back with enthusiasm.

The only person missing was Inaba, who was unusually late for school that day.

“Man... Now if only Inaban would show up...” Nagase sighed.

The two of them sat in the clubroom, awaiting the arrival of Kiriyama and Aoki. Now all they needed was Inaba—the final piece of the puzzle.

“I tried talking to her earlier, but, well... She’s just so observant, and she worries over the tiniest little things... Let’s just give her a little more time. It wouldn’t be right to force her into it.”

He knew he needed to keep in mind that Inaba had her own priorities. Still, he hoped she’d hurry back sooner rather than later.

Just then, the door opened, and Aoki walked in.

“Hey, y’all...” His smile was strangely stiff.

Kiriyama followed him inside, her expression dismal, her gait unsteady. She was carrying fat plastic bags in both hands.

“What’s wrong, Yui?” asked Nagase, her brows furrowed in concern.

There was a pause.

“...I bought too much stuff.”

A moment later, Kiriyama unceremoniously dumped the contents of her bags out onto the table: chocolate bars, potato chips, melon buns, dorayaki, pudding... all manner of sweets, snacks, and pastries.

“Yeahhh... I took my eyes off her for two seconds and bam, she got hit with like, hunger or greed or somethin’,” Aoki explained as Kiriyama collapsed, defeated, into a folding chair.

“Wow... How did you even afford all this?”

“Well, I just got my allowance earlier this morning, and I put it all straight into my wallet... Uggghhh... Like seriously, how am I gonna survive the rest of the month?!” she wailed.

“Could’ve been worse, I guess,” Taichi muttered.

“Okay, so... what are you gonna do with all of this, anyway?” asked Nagase.

“God, I don’t know... If I take all this home, my parents are totally gonna flip out...”

“Yeah, and I don’t think they’ll let you return it, eith—”

Suddenly, Aoki froze mid-sentence, eyes wide. No sooner had Taichi realized he was Liberated—

“Gimme that mitarashi dango!”

In a blink, Aoki’s Liberated hunger had turned him into a dango-zombie.

“What the?! Stop it! Don’t just take my stuff, you jerk! Hey! Knock it off!”

The two of them promptly descended into a game of tug-of-war.

“Jeez, talk about harmless... Had me worried for a second there.” Nagase heaved a sigh of relief. “I guess it makes sense, though. Who wouldn’t want to chow down on all these tasty—” But then she froze, and her easygoing expression iced over.

Don’t tell me—

“That sandwich is MIIINE!” Nagase dove over the table to grab a pre-wrapped sandwich from the pile of snacks.

“Nagase, chill!” Taichi shouted, but naturally it had no effect.

“What’s gotten into you, Iori?! I never said you couldn’t have it! We can share—”

That was the moment when Kiriyama lost her grip on the pack of dango—and Aoki, unbalanced from tugging, went tumbling backwards.

“Whoaaa!”

Meanwhile, Kiriyama froze for a split-second, eyes widened. The next moment—

“Chocolate chip melon buns! I’m starving!”

—she grabbed a package, tore it open, and began to devour her prize.

The three of them were going to town like participants in an eating contest.

“All three of you at the same time? Give me a break... Then again, I’m glad it happened now while we’re all just hungry—”

[Eat.]

He couldn’t believe it... but sure enough, he heard a voice in his head.

He cursed the impulse coursing through his body, knowing he was powerless to stop it. With all four of them Liberated, who could possibly rein them in?

Sadly, this food for thought proved fruitless.

“I... I want chocolaaate! GIVE ME CHOCOLAAATE!”

“Ugh... FML...” Kiriyama muttered.

The four-way Liberation had lasted no more than three minutes. Obviously, this wasn’t long enough for them to eat their way through everything, but nonetheless, the results were horrific. The table was now littered with half-eaten pastries and barely touched snacks.

“Hahaha... uh... What do we do with this mess...?” Nagase asked, smiling stiffly.

“We should probably eat these leftovers...” Aoki replied.

“We should chip in some money, too,” Taichi piped up.

“Alright then... uh... Let’s have ourselves a little party! Everybody get hype!” Nagase shouted, her tone one of forced cheer, her gaze flickering to Kiriyama.

Kiriyama groaned in response. Then, after a moment, she lifted her head and slammed her fist on the table. “Screw it! You guys ate a bunch, so I will too!”

And so the party began... after they returned with drinks (from the corner store, that is; the vending machine was now completely empty).

“Eh, who cares? Think of it like a... pre-field trip celebration!” Aoki suggested.

“Why would we celebrate a field trip in the first place...?” Taichi retorted.

“Oh, that reminds me. I heard 1-A and 1-C both chose the same spot,” Nagase mused.

At this, Kiriyama perked up. “We did?”

Though each class was allowed to choose its own destination, the eligible locations were rather limited, so it wasn’t unheard of for classes to overlap.

“Yup! I’m kinda excited. Then again, I guess each class is probably gonna be doing its own thing, so we might not get to hang out...”

That forced Taichi to remember that Fujishima had put him on a team with her, Watase, Nagase, and Inaba. But as things stood, Inaba was keeping her distance from the rest of them. Not only was she avoiding the clubroom, but she barely talked to them at all.

He knew she was doing it for a reason, of course, but...

Secretly he hoped maybe she’d reconsider over the course of the school trip.

■□■□■

The others were acting differently today. Something must’ve happened.

Ever since yesterday, I started thinking maybe I’m better off isolating myself. After my near-theft, my thoughts plummeted into a negative spiral, and I was terrified that I might do something even worse next time. Thus, I contemplated skipping school and hiding out in my room.

But then Iori got in touch to tell me that Yui had come back to school, and I changed my mind. How could I hide in my house after preaching about the evils of isolating yourself? I’d look like a total hypocrite.

Besides, I know if I tried it, they’d come barging in here... and who knows what could happen once they invaded my personal bubble.

Once again, I’m only ever thinking of protecting myself.

At school, Yui went out of her way to track me down. She said to me, “Just so you know, I’m not mad at you for what you said, in case you were worried about it.”

I tried to apologize, but she smiled and said “No, you were right.”

Her smile was the real deal, too.

Taichi, Iori, Aoki—they all stopped to talk to me. And they all told me they wanted me to come back to the clubroom whenever I was up for it.

I’m such a piece of shit, and yet they still think of me as a friend...

On the one hand I’m grateful, but on the other hand, it just makes me even more desperate not to lose them.

I can’t go back there now. Not in this sorry state.

And so I went home, all the while glancing at the Rec Hall building out of the corner of my eye, knowing they were probably up there waiting for me.

■□■□■

After Inaba Himeko arrived home, she spent the afternoon on the Internet, alone and miserable.

She couldn’t help but draw parallels to her past—back when she refused to trust anyone, back when she had all her walls up, back when she had “functional acquaintances” but no actual friends. Admittedly, it wasn’t all that long ago.

In her middle school yearbook, there wasn’t a single decent photo of her to be found anywhere—not even in a group shot. Rather, she was always in the background or slightly out of frame.

Indeed, there was no lingering memento of any special moments she shared with close friends... because those moments never existed to begin with.

All this time, she’d never given it much thought—but now it made her chest strangely tight.

When did I get so weak?

Late that evening, her mother knocked on her bedroom door. “Himeko, your class advisor’s here to see you. He says he needs to speak with you about something. You haven’t gotten into any trouble, have you?”

You’ve gotta be shitting me.

But sure enough, there it was, standing behind her: an entity wearing the face of [Gotou Ryuuzen], advisor for Class 1-C and supervisor for the Cultural Research Club. Its posture and expression were closer to a regular human this time, but Gotou’s usual energy was noticeably missing—a dead giveaway.

There stood «Heartseed», gazing at her with soulless eyes.

“I’m sure it’s nothing, Mom. Don’t bother bringing us tea or anything. No tea, okay? Okay?”

At last, her mother reluctantly nodded and left the room. Once she was gone, Inaba shut the door and propped her chair under the knob so it couldn’t be opened from the outside. Then she turned back to face it.

“What the fuck are you doing here?!” she hissed, using all of her restraint to keep her voice down.

“Oh... Making sure no one can overhear us... A wise decision...” In an instant, it returned to its usual demeanor, exuding limp lifelessness from every pore.

With «Heartseed» here, it felt like her room had been transported to a different dimension. What was going on? Normally it preferred to leave them to their own devices. So what was it doing here? Was it going to make things worse, or—

“Surely it’s not over already, is it?” she asked with a false air of composure.

Why? What for? What do I do?

Questions bubbled up one after another, and her mind was starting to spin out of control. She needed to keep it together.

“No, it’s not over just yet...” it replied in an eerily lethargic voice that sent a shiver down her spine.

It made her sick to think that this thing had violated the sanctity of her home. Still, it seemed relatively harmless for the time being, so she relaxed a bit... though her guard was still up, of course.

“Then what do you want? Hurry up and get the fuck out of my house, asshole.”

“I mean, isn’t it obvious...? Don’t you remember, Inaba-san...? Didn’t I tell you I’d make things interesting if it came to that...?”

“Weren’t you only going to do that if we isolated ourselves?”

“Huh...? Is that how I phrased it...? Oh well... It doesn’t matter... After all... you’re halfway there yourself.”

This caught her off-guard. Hastily, she stammered her way through a comeback. “Wh-What? No I’m not. I’m still going to school, aren’t I?” Meanwhile, goosebumps pricked up on her arms. This only served as an unpleasant reminder that «Heartseed» was observing their every move.

“I must say, Inaba-san, you are truly fascinating indeed... Never a dull moment with you...”

“Can we get to the point? Just tell me what you want from me already. Or did you come all this way to waste my time with pointless small talk?”

“Small talk...? Actually... you might not be too far from the mark there... I’m only here to shake things up, you see...”

“Shake things up? What’s that supposed to mean?”

She didn’t understand what it was insinuating.

“Well... I did say too much slacking would force me to intervene, yes? Wait... Maybe I forgot to tell you that part... Oh well... Now you know...”

“Give me a fucking break! ‘Slacking’? What are you, my boss?”

“Am I...? Who knows...” As usual, its voice was aggravatingly languid. “You know, Inaba-san... You sure seem to be having a tough time...”

She debated whether to admit it, then realized it would be pointless to try to hide it. “Yeah... No thanks to you, dickhole.”

What was «Heartseed» trying to get out of her? She tried to read its expression for clues, but it offered nothing more than a blank canvas.

“What are you struggling with...?”

“Gee, I don’t know. Maybe it’s your stupid Liberation shit!”

“No, no... That’s not what I mean... How do I put this... Why do you care so much about maintaining the status quo between you and your little friends...? If it pains you, then why not tear it down?”

Her breath caught in her throat. How did it know so much?

No... Surely she would never be tempted by a proposition like that.

“...The friendship I have with them is more important to me than anything else. You seriously think I would wreck it on purpose? Think again.”

Never in her wildest dreams did she imagine «Heartseed» would be the first to hear her admit it.

“Ah... You sound quite determined... What a shame... Based on your current mental state, I was hoping its destruction would send you on some sort of violent rampage...”

“Not sure what kind of manga you’ve been reading, but I’m nowhere near that melodramatic. Seriously, where do you get these ideas...?”

Was he supposed to be intimidating or not?

“Alright then... One last armor-piercing question... Is that really what matters to you above all else...?”

“...What?”

“Isn’t there something else...? Something you care about just as much...?”

“...Of course not...”

There couldn’t be.

What could possibly be more important than her bonds with her friends?

“Come now... Admit it... That little detail you’ve been trying your hardest to pretend you haven’t noticed... Because the moment it comes to light, it’ll destroy everything—”

“Shut the fuck up!” she screamed. At this point, she could no longer afford to worry about keeping her voice down.

“Ah... You’ve realized, haven’t you... Once you see it, you can’t unsee it... There’s no turning back now...”

Stop. Stop. Stop. Stop. Stop. Stop. Fucking STOP!

All I want is to keep the club together. These other feelings are just... temporary. Yes, that has to be it.

I don’t need another worry to add to the pile... I’ll fall apart at this rate...

“Goodness... I wasn’t expecting that to work quite this well... Ah... I sense that perhaps the climax is close at hand... I can’t wait to find out what happens next...” «Heartseed» stared at her with a knowing gaze, despite its empty eyes.

She clutched at her chest. She couldn’t speak. Her brain—her heart—was a total mess.

Meanwhile, «Heartseed» just stood there in silence. Then, finally, it spoke again.

“Well... It’s safe to say I’ve done my job for the day... I suppose I’ll be going now...”

Done its job? How? If it wanted to leave, why was it taking its sweet time? It didn’t make sense. None of this made any goddamn sense.

“...What do you get out of fucking with us, anyway?” she asked in a tiny, strangled voice.

She wasn’t expecting an answer, but surprisingly, «Heartseed» saw fit to give one nonetheless.

“Well, let me ask you this... Would you say humans have achieved their ideal form...? Anyway... No need to think about it too hard...”

For some reason, this pissed her off.

“Is it cool if I deck you in the face?”

“You can, but... I’ll just switch out of his body right before it connects...”

He disgusted her. She wanted him gone ASAP.

“Merely an observer” my ass!

But first...

“Are you going to check in with the others, too?”

At her question, «Heartseed» curled its lip ever so slightly. “Interesting...”

What’s that supposed to mean?

“Not to worry... I only came to see you... I mean... Do you really think I’d go to all this effort four more times...?”

“Hah. No, I’m not that stupid. So why come all this way, anyway? Wouldn’t it have been easier just to corner me at school?” she spat.

It helped to think about something else for a change; it felt like she was working her way back to her usual invincible self.

“Not as easy as you might think... But more importantly... Isn’t this entertaining in its own right...?”

“Not to me, it isn’t... Why do you always show up in Gotou’s body, anyhow? If you can possess anyone you want, surely you could have chosen one of my clubmates or even someone in my family.”

At this, «Heartseed» froze for a moment, staring blankly. “Well... Unlike this one, most humans find it alarming to discover large gaps in their memory...”

That made sense.

“Oh... I said I was leaving, so why am I still standing around talking...? It was all so pointless... I got nothing out of it... Ugh... What was I thinking...? Forget it... I’d better go... For now, please try not to isolate yourself too much... Otherwise I may have to take action again...”

And so «Heartseed» walked out of the room, leaving its veiled threat hanging in the air.

Just to be safe, she followed it all the way to the front door. Then, once it had left the house, she went back to her room and watched it through the window until it was gone.