Chapter 6: Goodbye

Thus began a new year.

To normal people, this was an important milestone... but to certain otherworldly entities who shall go unnamed, it was just another day. And so it was that January 1st saw the Regression strike Nagase, Kiriyama, and Aoki.

Nevertheless, Inaba adamantly refused to let any supernatural phenomenon get in the way of her life, and so the five of them paid a visit to their local Shinto shrine to celebrate hatsumoude. This, of course, ended in relative disaster, as previously shown.

“Looking at what happened today, I’d hate to imagine how the rest of the year’s gonna play out,” Inaba muttered after they left the shrine.

“I’m already exhausted just thinking about it,” Taichi groaned. Lately he’d had a hell of a time managing the phenomenon. Today wasn’t their first time experiencing a three-person Regression; in fact, just the other day it had seen fit to strike all four at once. (Thankfully their Regressed ages had fallen on the older side, so it wasn’t too bad.)

This was quite possibly the most miserable New Year’s Day of his life... and he could only pray that today’s events wouldn’t be indicative of the year to come.

□■□■□

The next morning, as Taichi was getting ready to leave the house, he heard the soft pattering of footsteps that signaled Rina coming down the stairs. Bracing himself for another scolding, he turned to look.

Unfortunately, it was much, much worse than a scolding.

In stark contrast to his usual reality, there stood «The Second», piloting his little sister’s body.

“...Long time no see?” it offered.

For a second, he forgot how to breathe. What was it doing here? Why had it possessed her again?

“Having a hard time?” it asked.

“...Damn right we are. So why don’t you cut us some slack and end this already?”

They were all starting to run out of cover stories to tell their families. Stress levels were running high. Any longer and things could get dangerous fast. In fact, there was no telling whether they might already be past the point of no return.

“No. I have not found my answer.” «The Second» froze perfectly still for a moment. “...But you have been seen. Should I end it? Or just a little longer...”

“So you’ll end it, then?” The mere possibility was music to his ears. “Well? Are you going to end it or not?”

“...Perhaps.”

«The Second»’s wishy-washy attitude took the wind out of his sails. Would it kill you to commit to a yes or no answer?

“Maybe something will happen soon? Then I will get my answer?”

Answer to what?

“And yet... so complicated...”

“Yeah, things are getting complicated, alright. But what do you mean by that, exactly?”

“...When I look at your heart, I see it. So very complicated. But you haven’t noticed?”

“Noticed what?”

Obviously he knew it was starting to take a toll on everyone’s emotional well-being... and that it had put a dent in the friendship between Kiriyama and Aoki. The latter was particularly painful to witness, considering Aoki’s aggressive courting had recently started to pay off, or so it seemed. Taichi wished there was something he could do to help... but ultimately, it was something only Kiriyama and Aoki could solve. For the time being, he tried to convince himself it was just a symptom of the phenomenon and nothing more.

“Complicated... So very complicated...”

«The Second»’s lip shifted a fraction of an inch in the world’s tiniest smirk, and a shiver ran down Taichi’s spine—one that had nothing to do with the cold weather.

The next moment, «The Second» was gone again.

□■□■□

After he got off the train, he promptly ran into Kiriyama and Aoki at the station. Together, with Taichi in the middle, the three of them headed off to the abandoned building.

There was some idle conversation along the way, but it wasn’t particularly enjoyable. Kiriyama and Aoki never spoke to each other directly. There was an awkward tension in the air, and Taichi lacked the conversational skill needed to resolve it.

Then, right as they turned down the street that led to their hideout, they encountered a familiar face approaching them from the opposite direction. It was Mihashi Chinatsu, hair pulled back in her usual ponytail, looking as cold and haughty as ever.

“Sure enough, here you are again,” Mihashi called out from a few meters away, where she came to a stop. “Got some different people with you this time, I see. Oh, but you’re always with him, aren’t you? Are you guys dating or what?”

“We are not dating,” said Kiriyama in a small voice.

For a moment, Mihashi hesitated.

“Who’s that?” Aoki asked quietly.

“Old frenemy of Kiriyama’s. We told you about her, remember?” Taichi whispered back.

“O-Okay, whatever. Anyway, could you please just tell me why you quit karate? I just... I need to know for my own peace of mind. Otherwise I’ll go crazy.” She seemed a lot calmer than she’d been in previous encounters. Less aggressive, too.

But just when Taichi thought maybe they’d be able to have a reasonable conversation—

“...It’s none of your business,” Kiriyama stated dispassionately, turning away.

“E-Excuse you? What’s with your attitude?”

“I don’t have an attitude. I’m just telling it like it is.”

“And I’m just trying to ask you a question!”

“Well, drop it already!” Kiriyama snapped.

“I... I would if you would just tell me!”

“I quit, okay? End of story!”

“But what about our promise?!”

“Will you just forget the stupid promise already?! That was then! This is now!”

This dealt a crippling blow to Mihashi, who was visibly hurt.

Kiriyama stared at the ground, struggling to keep her expression blank and emotionless.

That was when Aoki of all people piped up. “Okay, look... I know I don’t got all the details and stuff, but... I think you oughta give your friend here a chance,” he told Kiriyama. “Open up and have a real heart-to-heart, y’know?”

A moment of silence passed. Then Kiriyama’s face began to flush red with rage. “Excuse me? Since when are you my therapist?”

“I’m just sayin’, you gotta look at it from her point of view—”

“You have no right to lecture me about this, you gutless pig!” Kiriyama roared.

“Gutless. Right. You would know,” Aoki shot back, gritting his teeth.

“Did you seriously just say that to me?!”

“Yeah, well, can you blame me?”

“Well, you’re just a... a fuckboy who only likes me because I look like some other girl!” she screamed, nearly on the verge of tears. Evidently this accusation hurt her just as much as it hurt him.

Aoki’s expression twisted in misery... but Kiriyama kept going.

“Just get your stupid act together already!”

“Look, I’m tryin’, alright?!”

“No you’re not!”

“Yes I am!”

Their heated exchange began to blaze out of control.

“You’re just a coward who never takes anything seriously! You just do whatever you feel like!”

“Quit freakin’ calling me a coward, okay?! If anyone’s not taking this seriously, it’s you, Yui!”

“Excuse me?!”

“When was the last time you actually paid attention to the way you make other people feel? You don’t give anyone the time of day—not even your friend here!”

“That’s... That’s not true!”

“Yeah? Name one time you actually tried!”

“Well... I... But...!”

“But what?!”

“I just... I just don’t have a choice...!”

“Prove it!”

“Huh? But...”

“You know what I think? I think you’re just making excuses so you don’t have to try!”

“I...” Kiriyama faltered, then buried her face in her hands.

Belatedly, Taichi stepped in between them. “L-Let’s dial it back a bit, alright, Aoki? ...Kiriyama, you okay?”

“Sorry,” Aoki said to no one in particular, then walked off toward their hideout.

Taichi glanced at Mihashi, and their eyes met.

“Well, um...” she stammered, glancing around awkwardly, before turning on her heel. “Anyway, it sounds like you guys have enough on your plate right now, so...” With that, she put her head down and quietly walked away.

With no words of comfort to offer her, all Taichi could do was watch her go. Beside him, he could hear Kiriyama sniffling.

“C’mon, don’t cry...” He moved to reach out to her—but stopped himself. After all, he knew she had a strong aversion to physical contact from guys.

The next moment, she crumpled to the ground, silently wiping her tears.

“K-Kiriyama? You okay?”

Both she and Aoki were in so much pain; Taichi felt like his heart was being torn in two. He wanted to help them... but he had no way to fix it. He could neither mend their wounds nor stop them lashing out at each other.

He was powerless.

Once again, the Regression struck precisely at noon. For a phenomenon that was supposedly going to end soon, it sure didn’t feel like it.

Nagase and Inaba both Regressed to [age 6], while Aoki Regressed to [age 14]. Almost immediately afterwards, the latter spotted Kiriyama and called out to her.

“‘Scuse me, but... are you maybe related to Nishino Nana-san?”

It was the worst possible question, and Taichi was afraid Kiriyama might snap. But instead she held back, gritting her teeth and clutching one hand to her chest.

“...No. My name is Kiriyama Yui.” She wasn’t crying, but her voice shook with emotion.

“Oh, my bad. So you’re Kiriyama-san, yeah? Roger that!” Aoki [age 14] grinned.

Nagase [age 6] and Inaba [age 6] were both perfectly well-behaved, which made babysitting a walk in the park. So much so, in fact, that Taichi had seen fit to delegate the task to Aoki [age 14]. While he maintained a somewhat frivolous attitude, he soon proved responsible when it came to looking after the girls.

“He doesn’t seem much different at this age...” Taichi mused to himself, only to regret it a second later when he realized Kiriyama probably heard him.

“Hey, Taichi?” she asked, gazing at him with pain in her eyes.

“Y-Yeah?”

“What would you do if I told you that... I was in love with you?”

Instantly, his mind went blank. “Wh... whuuhh?! Wh-What are you talking about?!”

“I’m in love with you, Taichi.”

“Hold it! Stop! Back up! That’s... just gonna make this complicated!”

Just as he was scrambling to figure out how to react to this, she turned away. Her long hair fell over her eyes, concealing her expression.

“...Suppose for a minute that someone said that to you for real. Like, a lot.”

Oh, thank god. It’s just a hypothetical scenario... Wait, are we talking about what I think we’re talking about?

“Now suppose that same person stopped saying it at one point. What do you do in that situation?”

Kiriyama was being much more open than he was used to, and he wasn’t sure how to respond... but he knew she deserved an answer.

“Well... It would depend on how I felt about it, right?”

“Yeah...” she murmured, and the conversation ended there.

At five o’clock, the kids transformed back. As soon as the girls had finished getting dressed, Kiriyama left the building, stating that she had to get back home as soon as possible.

Normally the mood in the room post-Regression was light and cheerful, but today it was suffocatingly heavy. The building itself felt... darker, somehow.

“I missed my chance to ask this morning, but... did something happen earlier today?” Inaba asked Taichi.

“Yeah. We bumped into Mihashi-san on the way here, and then Aoki and Kiriyama got into this ridiculous argument...”

“I’m guessing it was a pretty big one?” Nagase asked as she wandered over.

“Definitely. Kiriyama started crying and everything.”

“Gotcha,” Nagase muttered sadly.

Inaba sighed. “I’m sure it’s just a lovers’ spat. Something like this was bound to happen.”

“Yeah, especially considering how overly direct Aoki can be with his feelings,” Nagase agreed.

Meanwhile, Aoki lay slumped over a desk, his head resting on his arms. The cracks in his relationship with Kiriyama had now developed into an ever-widening gulf. Could it be mended, or was it beyond repair?

They used to be so close, too—nearly on the cusp of a romantic development, or so it seemed to an outside observer like Taichi. If it weren’t for the Regression, perhaps things would have worked out differently... or perhaps this was destined to happen one way or another. Either way, Taichi hated to see it.

So he headed over to Aoki.

Maybe he was acting out of line by trying to butt in on something that was none of his business. Still, he couldn’t help it. All this time, he’d watched their friendship grow. He knew exactly how much Aoki loved Kiriyama. And he refused to let their chemistry fizzle out over one measly conflict. At the very least, he had to say something.

Besides, he knew from experience that it was often a lot easier to figure things out when you had a friend or two nearby to help you put the pieces together.

“Uh, Taichi? Don’t you think you should let them work it out on their own?” Inaba called after him.

Yes, he knew full well this was really none of his business, but—

“We’re friends. We ought to be there for each other.” He didn’t know where the line was, but he had to try. “...Aoki, don’t you think you ought to do something to resolve this?” No response. “I’m not saying this whole thing is your fault, but... You’re just not acting like yourself lately, man.”

“...What does ‘acting like myself’ look like to you?” Aoki asked, his voice muffled.

“Well, uh... I’d say you’re less passive and more... direct?”

“Direct, huh...”

“Aoki, do you not like Yui anymore?” Nagase asked, cutting straight to the root of the issue. Taichi glanced at her, and she offered him a gentle smile, letting him know she was on his side.

“No, I still do... I’m just so confused...”

“Confused how?” Nagase asked, brows furrowed.

“My memories, dude... They’re all mixed up... and it feels like I’m forgettin’ something, but I can’t quite put my finger on it...”

Inaba heaved another sigh and walked over. “Look... I promised myself I wouldn’t get involved in people’s love lives anymore. Not after my little stint playing Cupid for these two... That sure didn’t win me any points...” Scratching her head, she glanced at Taichi and Nagase. “So I’m not gonna get into it with you, but... I think you’re overthinking it. That’s all.”

“Overthinkin’ it?” Aoki shifted slightly.

“W-Wait... What happened to ‘Aoki’s a braindead moron’?! Who are you and what have you done with my Inaban?!”

“Calm down, Iori. People change, myself included... especially now that I have firsthand experience with the power of love.”

Inaba smiled—a dreamy, wistful sort of smile—and Taichi found he was entranced.

“I-Inaban! You can’t just drop a line like that with no warning! That’s no fair!”

“Oh yeah? Well, neither is your little ‘Our hearts are one!’ act you’ve got going on!”

Times like these, Taichi sorely wished life came with a how-to manual. Maybe someone like Watase would know how to handle a love triangle... He made a mental note to ask him later.

“...Guys... What should I do?” Aoki asked. But none of them had an answer.

“Well... That’s really up to you, isn’t it?” said Inaba. “All I have to say is this: being wishy-washy doesn’t suit you.”

“Yeah! The Aoki we know goes full speed ahead!” Nagase chimed in.

“Your laid-back attitude is part of your charm, weirdly enough,” Taichi added.

“Wishy-washy... Full speed ahead... Laid-back attitude... Oh! That’s it! Now I remember!” Aoki exclaimed, bolting upright in his chair. “I forgot to stop worrying!”

“Forgot to... stop worrying...? I didn’t realize that was possible...” Taichi muttered.

“I decided a long time ago I’d never tear my hair out over somethin’ like this... Goes against my philosophy, y’know? Man, what was I doing?” Aoki jumped to his feet. “I’m going to M Prefecture.”

At this, the three of them responded in unison: “What?”

“I said I’m going to M Prefecture. Right now.”

“Hold a minute. Where did that come from? And what’s the rush?” Taichi asked.

“I’m gonna go meet up with Nishino Nana,” said Aoki. The look in his eyes was firm and unwavering.

“Are you out of your mind? If you leave right now, it’ll take you all night to get to M Prefecture by train. You’ll be stuck there until tomorrow morning!” Inaba argued.

“So? I’ll leave tonight and come back tomorrow.”

“You realize traveling is hell during the holidays, right? The station will be packed... But worst of all, if you don’t make it back before noon...!”

If the Regression struck him while he was out in public, anything could happen, and none of it would be pretty.

“I know, but... I gotta do this.”

Taichi could tell Aoki’s conviction was unshakeable, without the slightest trace of hesitation.

Inaba clucked her tongue. “Look, Taichi. You started this fire, so now it’s your job to put it out.”

But Taichi shook his head. “Please, Inaba... Just let him go.”

“Right... I should’ve known you wouldn’t stop him...”

Maybe it was stupid, but... if this was what Aoki decided he needed to do, then Taichi wanted to help him see it through.

“You gotta let me do this, Inabacchan. Doin’ dumb shit is the only way I know how to move forward.”

As Inaba contemplated his request, Nagase cut in. “If you take the first bullet train out of M Prefecture, you could probably get back here pretty fast... but still, you might not have enough time to get all the way back to the hideout before noon...” She hesitated. “Why do you want to meet up with her, anyway?”

As usual, Nagase was quick to get to the point.

“To understand what it is my heart wants.”

How profoundly wise.

“Am I hallucinating, or does Aoki actually seem kinda manly for a change? Spoopy!” Nagase remarked cheerfully.

“Hey! My manliness is not spoopy!”

“Look, Inaban... You might as well give up. Now that you’ve experienced the power of love for yourself, you know this has to happen.”

“Nngh... Maybe you’re ri—No, wait...” Right as she was about to cave, Inaba hesitated again.

“What is it, Inabacchan?”

“What if ‘what your heart wants’ isn’t what the rest of us hope it is? What then?”

Oh.

Taichi hadn’t considered that. Instantly, the room grew tense.

“Or... maybe you already know the answer?” Inaba pressed.

Obviously the answer is “Kiriyama,” right?

“No. I don’t know the answer. That’s why I have to go find out.” The look on his face told them he’d already made up his mind... come what may. “But... even if it’s not what you hope it is... Even if...”

For the first time since this conversation started, Aoki faltered. His lip trembled as he closed his eyes and let out a long breath.

“Even if... it means I have to quit the CRC... bottom line, I gotta stay true to myself. This is the path I’ve chosen.”

In that moment, Aoki was so strong-willed and courageous, it sent goosebumps pricking up Taichi’s arms.

In that moment, he wished he was half the man Aoki was.

Inaba laughed softly. “Wow, buddy... Looks like we don’t stand a chance of stopping you.”

“So... does that mean you’re cool with it, Inabacchan?!”

“Yeah, I guess,” she sighed. “But just in case, I want Taichi to go with you, since he’s the one person who’s guaranteed—well, mostly guaranteed—not to Regress.”

“Got it. I’ll tag along, then.”

At last, the gears had started to turn once more.

As for Taichi, he had no intention of trying to single-handedly take credit for “fixing” Aoki, but he did hope his actions had played some small part in helping him find his way forward.

With a little support, even the heaviest burdens could feel just a bit lighter—more proof that humans were never meant to be solitary creatures.

“Hell yeah! Then let’s go, compadre! No brakes on this train! Let’s skedaddle!”

“W-Wait! Where are we going to get the money for train tickets?”

“Figure it out, Taichi,” said Inaba.

“It’ll work out,” said Nagase.

“Oh, I see! So I’m just conveniently on my own for that part! Real cool of you, guys!”

Damn it, would it kill them to foot at least part of the bill? Oh well... I’ll cover it with money from my savings account, I guess... No idea how I’m going to explain this to my family, though...

“Forgetting something, Aoki?”

“Oh crap! You’re right!”

Nagase tossed Aoki his stuff, and he caught it in mid-air.

“Thanks, Iori-chan!”

Meanwhile, Taichi opened the door and stepped out of the room. There, at the end of the hall... he thought he caught a glimpse of long reddish-brown hair disappearing around the corner by the stairs.

On the bullet train, Aoki began to reminisce:

“In eighth grade, one of my classmates died in a car accident.”

“Oh, I heard about that. Didn’t realize you went to that school.” Taichi didn’t know all the details, but he’d definitely seen it on the news at some point.

“I wasn’t close with her or anything, but like... When someone you know dies, it really screws you up, y’know? Reminds you of your own mortality.”

He glanced through the window at the cloudy and rapidly darkening sky.

“She’d been going to cram school from an early age. Did a lot of studying for entrance exams. But then she died, and it all went to waste... Not that I think she was stupid to put in all that effort, or anything like that,” he quickly added. “It’s just... That was what made me think, y’know, it’s great to work towards a future goal and all, but you gotta still live in the moment, too.”

It was an understandable sentiment, to say the least.

“So I decided I would live each day to the fullest. That way, no matter when I kick the bucket, I’ll have had a great life no matter what. And the longer I live, the better it’ll get.”

“And that’s your personal philosophy?”

“Yep! I don’t know if it’s right or wrong or whatever, but I like it, so that’s what I’ve been doin’.”

As for Taichi, he had never given any real thought to his personal philosophy.

“And if I’m gonna do it, I gotta give it one hundred percent, y’know? I can’t afford to slip up.” He grinned. “Alright, enough of that! Let’s talk about something less boring!”

Despite his childish antics, Taichi knew he was the most mature of any of them.

After they got off the bullet train, Aoki used his phone GPS to figure out what train to take next. When they arrived at the next station, they hopped into a taxi... and then, finally, they arrived at their destination. Well, approximately.

It was nearly 10:30 PM. Rather than have the cab driver slowly drive around the neighborhood, they decided to go on foot.

“Man, it’s cold up north! Why did nobody warn me?!” Aoki shouted through chattering teeth.

“Let’s just hurry up and find her before we freeze to death, okay?!”

It felt like they’d discovered the true meaning of the word bone-chilling.

Using the return address written on the New Year’s card Nishino had sent Aoki’s family, the two teens made their way through the quiet, sleepy little neighborhood. The streets were lined with modern houses much larger than Taichi was used to.

“Why don’t you have her number, anyway?”

“She never gave it to me. Besides, I didn’t get my own cell phone until after she’d already moved away.”

“Oh, gotcha...” Taichi shivered. Glancing around at all the houses with their lights off, he wondered if everyone went to bed early in these parts—and then it hit him.

“W-Wait... Aoki... Do Nishino-san’s grandparents live around here?”

“Don’t think so... Why?”

“What if her family went out of town for the holidays?!”

“...Oh yeah.”

Taichi shuddered—and this time it wasn’t from the cold.

“Eh, it’ll work out! Probably!”

“Good grief, dude. Your reckless optimism is going to come back to bite you one of these days.”

Your “no worries” attitude can’t solve everything, you know!

“Anyway, we should be comin’ up on it here soon...”

“Cool... Which reminds me, what are you planning to say to her, anyway? And what about me? How should I—”

Suddenly, Aoki came to a stop, and Taichi instinctively fell silent.

The timing was too perfect. Almost like destiny.

A black sedan pulled up in front of a nearby two-story western-style house. There, a girl with stylish reddish-brown hair stepped out wearing a white, knee-length down coat. Beneath her shapely brows sat a pair of large, upturned eyes—face-wise, the resemblance to Kiriyama was undeniable. But that was where the similarities ended; she wore her hair fairly short, just past her chin, and her figure was curvy.

When she noticed the two of them approaching, she squinted at them for a moment. Then her eyes widened in surprise. She leaned back into the car briefly, then shut the door and came jogging over.

“Y-Yoshifumi...?” Her voice was bright and clear, like birdsong.

Snow began to fall.

Taichi stepped back a bit to give them some space.

“I... I can’t believe it... What are you doing here?” the girl—Nishino Nana—asked hesitantly as she glanced at Taichi.

“Sorry to drop in on you out of nowhere. I just really needed to see you.”

“Huh? Wait... Why...?”

“Nana...”

“Y-Yes...?”

“I really loved you, Nana. But now there’s someone else in my life... someone I love even more.”

The snowflakes were starting to stick. It was so quiet, Taichi could nearly hear them land.

Nishino paused for a moment. Then a bittersweet smile crept up on her lips. “I’m glad.”

“Sorry, I know this is totally random...”

“No, no, it’s fine. Thanks for coming to see me.”

A long silence fell between them. Maybe they were both struggling to find their words... or maybe they were comfortable not saying anything at all. Then Nishino glanced at Taichi again. In return, he offered her a slight wave.

“So, who’s this? Wait... Don’t tell me... Is this your ‘someone else’?!”

“No!” they exclaimed in unison. Whoops. Probably shouldn’t shout at strangers.

Nishino laughed. “Just thought I’d ask! Well, anyway, what are your plans for tonight? It’s cold out here... Wanna come inside for a bit?”

“Nah, I’ll pass. We gotta get home,” said Aoki, despite the fact that they had yet to plan their return trip. “So yeah...”

“Do you like my haircut?” Nishino asked suddenly. She ran one hand through her chestnut locks until it came to rest on her shoulder, where her hair could no longer reach. “I got it done at the end of last year.”

The wind picked up, sending a few stray strands across her face. It was a beautiful, picturesque moment, almost like something out of a movie.

“Looks great,” Aoki replied, then scratched his head. “Mmkay, we’d better be going! Next time I see ya, let’s catch up for real, alright?”

“Sounds good,” Nishino nodded.

Aoki spun on his heel. “C’mon, Taichi! Let’s go home!”

“Already? You sure?”

“Sure as sure can be, my guy!” With that, he walked off, and Taichi hurried after him.

“Goodbye,” they heard Nishino murmur behind them. In response, Aoki lifted a hand in acknowledgment—but he didn’t turn back.

+ + +

There I was, walking through the snow with my good buddy Yaegashi Taichi. (I’m tellin’ ya, the guy’s a saint for puttin’ up with my nonsense.)

“Welp, we’d better hurry or we’ll be in major trouble... Let’s run for it, Taichi!”

“What?” Taichi stared blankly back at me.

“Imma sprint back! You’d better keep up!” And with that, I dashed off.

“Sprint back to where?! We haven’t even called the taxi company yet—no, seriously, hold on!” he shouted after me, but I ignored him and kept running. He’s a good dude; I knew he’d come after me eventually, even if he wasn’t enthusiastic about it... so I didn’t let him stop me.

Why did I waste so much time worrying over something so simple? How didn’t l to see it? Love is love, nothing more and nothing less. And that’s all there is to it! That’s all that matters!

After all, love was never meant to be over-analyzed... just felt. No logic, no reasoning. If it could be solved rationally, then no one would ever struggle with it, y’know? So all you can do is feel it. Feel it with everything you have. And then you gotta have faith in that feeling.

My love for her is like a burning meteor in my chest. Why did I ever question it? Why did I bother stopping to think about it? Maybe that works for some people—helps ‘em figure out how they feel or somethin’—and if so, rock on. But it’s definitely not my thing. I gotta follow my heart with no hesitation or else I’ll just confuse myself.

Why? Because life sucks, man. There’s dark stuff out there—stuff that will stick to you like glue if you let it. So you gotta armor up to protect yourself, and at that point it’s hard to feel anything under all those layers, y’know? So to compensate you hyper-focus on everyone around you, and in so doing you forget to pay attention to yourself... meaning you barely feel anything at all. So there you are, left with no choice but to drown yourself in this almost anaesthetic numbness, unable to see where you’re going wrong.

Sounds pretty boring, doesn’t it?

The best things in life are the simplest. And once you find them, that’s when you realize what matters most. At least, that’s what I choose to believe. And that’s why I gotta keep running at full speed.

I can’t blame my failures on other people, or else I’m just creating an excuse to slow down, and that’s not cool.

If someone doesn’t understand how I feel, then I just have to keep putting it out there at full volume.

It’s so easy. Stupidly easy.

After I Regressed back to my childhood, I realized something: kids have got all the important stuff figured out.

And that’s where I went wrong. I’m still just a kid—I gotta stay stupid.

‘Course, I can’t stay a kid forever. In the end, I’ll grow up whether I want to or not.

But I feel like once people grow up, they lose all the traits that made them a kid, and that includes the good ones.

Now I kinda feel like asking people on the street—How do you live your life? Don’t you think you’d be better off living in the moment without thinking too hard? Isn’t that what life’s all about?

I wonder what they’d say... Not that it really matters.

There’s no right answer to this stuff, y’know?