Chapter 4: Yaegashi Taichi’s Tangled Love Life

As the end of February approached, the number of students sleeping through their lessons in Class 1-C had decidedly decreased. To Yaegashi Taichi, this served as yet another reminder that end-of-year finals were looming just ahead. Not only that, but the club presentations would be held right afterwards. Thus, the CRC planned to split up and go scout locations for their spotlight guide map after school that day.

[Ugh, I feel like shit... I hate my fucking period...]

It was a Transmission from Inaba.

With this phenomenon, any semblance of privacy had gone out the window. Fortunately, it worked a lot like the body-swap in that they could generally smooth things over by quietly turning a blind eye to anything they knew they weren’t supposed to know. After all, they knew just how embarrassing (and, at times, painful) it could be to have the Sentiment Transmission broadcast thoughts that were never meant to be public.

Personally, Taichi was determined not to end up dead weight like he was during the previous phenomenon, the Age Regression... and he imagined the others felt similarly.

The problem now was one Nagase Iori.

“Hey, did you hear about Nagase-san? I heard she...”

“But Iori’s so... She’d never...”

He could hear his classmates whispering to each other. And if he could hear it, surely Nagase herself could hear it, too.

“The way I see it, Nagase...”

“Right? It’s kind of hard to believe—”

“Well, it’s the truth,” said Setouchi Kaoru at full volume. Evidently she was the source of this rumor. Either she didn’t care who heard, or... No, maybe she wanted Nagase to hear. “She’s a two-faced skank. Don’t buy into her little act.”

Setouchi was known for speaking her mind, and her opinion carried weight among the students in their class. Not only that, but with her piercings and bleached hair, she fit in among the “rebel” clique, making her somewhat scary to oppose. And now she and her friends all had it out for Nagase.

But despite all her influence, even Setouchi couldn’t change the entire class’s outlook overnight—at least, not on a normal day.

Unfortunately, today was not one of those days.

“Hey, um, Iori?” called Nakayama Mariko, one of Nagase’s close friends.

“What?” Nagase asked flatly, her expression icy.

Nakayama hesitated, but Nagase ignored it.

“Um... So... There’s a weird rumor going around about you right now... but I just want you to know I don’t think it’s true, okay?”

Perhaps she was trying to make a statement by having this conversation right here in class.

“Because I know you’re not that kind of person. They’re just making stuff up—”

“So just let them,” Nagase replied without batting a lash. Her usual sunny smile was nowhere to be seen. “Just ignore them.”

Something about her tone was... menacing.

And if it was enough to frighten Taichi of all people, he could only imagine how drastically different she must have seemed to their classmates, who only knew her cheerful outward persona.

“I mean... I don’t blame you for being mad about it...”

“I’m not mad at all.”

And yet her eyes were still dull and empty.

And then Taichi received a Transmission—

[Enough already. It’s fine. This is fine.]

—of Nagase’s shadowy Sentiment.

“Come on, Iori... You’re kinda freaking me out...”

“This is just how I am.”

Nakayama shrank back. “W-Well, okay then. Talk to you later?”

“Yeah. Sorry.”

At this apology, Nakayama’s expression grew even more conflicted.

This was far beyond the average mood swing or bad day. Following the start of the Sentiment Transmission, Nagase had begun to exude a thorny, unapproachable vibe. Now the girl they all knew—the girl who was all smiles and cheer—was gone, and in her place was a stranger. A cold, unfriendly stranger.

Why is she doing this? What is she thinking?

[The real Nagase is more energetic and vibrant. This isn’t her.]

Instantly he cursed himself, but it was far too late. His Sentiment had already been Transmitted to Nagase.

Out of the corner of his eye, he saw her flinch slightly.

As it turned out, the prep work for the club presentation was a lot more involved than they had anticipated.

According to Shiroyama, who looked utterly drained, the jazz band was rehearsing more than ever. All the non-sports clubs had kicked their efforts up a notch.

As for the CRC, they were desperate to track down material for their spotlight guide map. First they had researched possible candidates via local newspapers and word of mouth. Next, they’d need to physically visit those places and take extensive notes.

After school, they met up briefly in the clubroom, then headed off to their assigned locations. Today, as it happened, Taichi and Nagase were headed in the same direction.

“Looks like we’re both going the same way, huh?”

“Yeah.”

Wearing heavy coats over their school uniforms, the two of them walked through the school gates and turned down the street, this time in the opposite direction of their usual route home.

They hadn’t been alone together in quite some time; in fact, they hadn’t really spoken at all since the 13th. After the rejection, it had taken him some time to get back on his feet, and there was the Sentiment Transmission to deal with... No, I’m just making excuses. Who cares if it’s awkward? This is my chance!

“Look, Nagase... What’s going on with you?” he asked, knowing full well she probably got this question a lot lately.

“Nothing,” she answered curtly, for what was probably the umpteenth time.

“Is there anything I can do to help? You know I’m always here if you need me.”

“I don’t need anything.”

They pressed on against the chilly winter wind, and Taichi slid his hands into his coat pockets. “Look... Okay, this is purely hypothetical, but...” He hesitated, then continued, “If you’re feeling weird about turning me down the other day, don’t worry about it. I’m fine.”

She pursed her lips together—tightly, like she was trying to keep all emotion locked away inside.

“...I’m sorry.”

The apology weighed on his chest like a ton of bricks... but as her friend, he refused to back down. “Okay, well, you have to admit you’ve been acting pretty weird lately.”

She didn’t respond. Instead, she looked down at the ground.

“Something about the Sentiment Transmission is bothering you, isn’t it? I know I can’t make miracles happen, but... plenty of problems can be solved with a little help from your friends, remember?”

Nagase began to tremble, and Taichi had a feeling it wasn’t from the cold.

“I appreciate it, really—”

[I don’t need your help. Mind your own business.]

A Transmission from Nagase—one of abject rejection. With it came a mix of emotions so complex, he found he couldn’t parse it. He stopped in his tracks.

“Nagase...” he muttered.

But he knew it wouldn’t change anything. In her heart, she had rejected his help.

Whoever this Nagase Iori was, she didn’t need him. Not even slightly.

And now that he got “no” for an answer, his only option was to give up.

“Anyway, so yeah... Let’s get going... Sorry.”

With that, she walked off.

As he watched her go, Taichi realized: I never actually understood her, did I? To this day I don’t know a single thing about her.

And yet he had claimed to love her.

□■□■□

On that day, Taichi was scouting out the arcade that had just recently opened nearby. At least, he was supposed to. Truth be told, he’d lost the will to complete his task.

As he walked inside, he was bombarded with noise—people laughing and shouting over the din of mechanical clicks and electronic beeps. All at once, he felt like a foreign entity. An unwanted presence. A ghost wandering the earth.

Perhaps he really was powerless. He couldn’t get himself back on track. He had no motivation.

Being here is a waste of time. Maybe I should just go home—

But just as he thought this, he got a Transmission from Inaba:

[Maybe the Cultural Research Club ought to disband.]

Taichi’s heart nearly stopped. He could feel exactly how seriously she was considering it. Why would she even think that?

But more than that... Without Nagase, and without the CRC, what would he have left?

The arcade was well-heated, and yet he found himself shivering. Overcome with panic, he called Inaba’s cell phone and started babbling—

“Enough! You’re not making any damn sense. Let’s just hash it out in person.”

And so, at Inaba’s suggestion, Taichi headed over to the cafe she was assigned to research.

“This works out perfectly, to be honest. The place is so fancy, I’d feel like a loser getting a table for one.”

Inside, they quickly found that they were the only teenage patrons. Apparently this establishment was a bit too pricey for the average high schooler.

The interior design made heavy use of solid wood, which afforded the place a warm, homey feel. In addition, the tables were spread out sparsely, giving customers plenty of space to relax and take their time.

“I get it... This would be the perfect place to take someone on a date,” Inaba muttered to herself as she scribbled on her notepad.

They ordered two lattes—the “house special”—and asked permission to take pictures. With the manager’s blessing, Inaba snapped a few shots of the interior, after which they sat down at a table for two.

“You know, it really sucks having all my dumbest ideas broadcasted to you people.”

“Sorry...”

“Chill. I’m not mad at you. It wasn’t your fault, obviously.”

Together, they picked up their coffee cups and each took a sip. The mild flavor of the latte warmed his stomach, and he felt himself relax a bit.

“So, about that Transmission... Why would you want to disband?” he asked.

For a while, Inaba didn’t respond. She lifted her cup to her lips and took another sip, her posture perfectly straight.

“...I’ve been considering it for a while now, actually. After all, «Heartseed» seems to be interested in the CRC as a collective group, wouldn’t you say?”

“Yeah, seems like it.”

«Heartseed» was always saying how “fascinating” it found the five of them... and every single phenomenon thus far had targeted the entire group, no more, no less.

“So, if the five of us stopped being a ‘collective group’... isn’t it possible the phenomena would stop, too?”

This theory assumed «Heartseed»’s only interest was in the five of them as a package deal, of course.

“I mean, this is the same entity that won’t even bother explaining everything unless we’re all present and accounted for,” Inaba explained. “So if we disband the club and stop hanging out... maybe we could go back to our normal lives.”

Truth be told, Taichi got the sense she was probably onto something here... “But—”

“Don’t you think we should do whatever it takes to bring these horrible phenomena to an end?” she asked, nipping his counter-argument in the bud.

He had no choice but to nod his assent.

“Iori’s sort of... weird lately,” she continued.

Instantly the homey warmth of the cafe vanished. A leaden mass sank into the pit of his stomach.

“It’d be one thing if she kept her issues confined to just the five of us, but judging from the way she’s been acting in class, she’s starting to cause problems outside of the clubroom. And we can’t exactly use the phenomenon as an excuse with normal people. So once things change... they won’t go back.”

“So you want to disband the CRC?”

“I was hoping it wouldn’t come to this, but... if we can’t even keep Gotou as our advisor, then I’d say it’s the perfect opportunity.”

What were they supposed to do in the face of the supernatural phenomena that threatened to consume their lives for months on end?

Then Taichi realized something—something he’d felt all along.

“Let me ask you one question,” he replied. “Is that really what you want?”

Silently, she gazed back at him. Her almond-shaped eyes and long lashes were almost... magnetic.

“Who benefits from that course of action, exactly?” he pressed, unwilling to back down.

Then, finally, she glanced away, clucking her tongue in annoyance.

“Fine, whatever. You win, okay? Personally, no, I don’t want to lose any of you. I was trying to think of what’s best for everyone else, alright? Got a problem with that, you jerk?! Hmph!” She pouted openly.

“Thought so.”

As usual, Inaba was a total softie who always tried to put her friends first.

“When did you get so clever, anyway? Do you know how humiliating it is to have you of all people figure me out without so much as a Transmission to help you?”

What do you mean, me of all people? Give me a break...

“Of course I’d figure it out. We both feel the same way... We both want the group to stay together, no matter how hard it gets.” As the words left his lips, he realized just how sincerely he felt it. And now that he could make sense of his emotions, his conviction returned at last. “The CRC is what brought all of you into my life. Being in the club has taught me so much... given me so much... and I want us to keep making memories together. That includes you, of course.”

That much he was sure of.

“Hey, could you say that last part again? Like, exact same emphasis?”

“...That includes you, of course.”

“Hnngh...!” She clapped a hand to her mouth to conceal her grin. What was that about?

“...Anyway, I’m pretty sure the rest of us all feel the same way. Aoki, Kiriyama...”

But somehow he couldn’t bring himself to say “Nagase” and finish the sentence. He didn’t understand the first thing about her, after all.

As he faltered, Inaba’s countenance hardened... Then her lip curled in a smirk. “Just admit it. Deep down, you totally agree that disbanding the club is the most rational solution.”

“Huh?” He swallowed, unable to escape Inaba’s piercing gaze. “Well... sure, I can’t pretend I disagree one hundred percent...”

“Thought so. I know you hate putting burdens on other people just as much as I do.”

Perhaps one day they’d be forced to get rid of «Heartseed» at any cost...

“But I guess you’re trying to be the optimist to balance out my inner pessimist.”

“No? I’m not thinking about it that hard.”

“There are multiple sides to everything. Even love isn’t a one-way street. It all depends on perspective, see. If you think about it, the Sentiment Transmission broadcasts people’s thoughts and emotions, which are naturally one hundred percent genuine—but because it doesn’t give us the whole picture, its accuracy is limited.”

She felt that they ought to disband the club, but at the same time, she didn’t want to. These two conflicting sentiments existed in tandem.

“...This conversation went in an odd direction. Let’s wrap things up here. Man, it’s weird being able to see right through each other.”

Right down to their hearts.

“You say that, but... when it comes to Nagase, I never understood the first thing about her.”

“...Yeah, me either. And I was sure I knew her better than anyone else.”

He’d been hoping maybe Inaba would have some insight into the Nagase situation, but evidently not.

“I wonder what’s gotten into her. She’s acting so differently... and her Transmissions are kind of mean and frightening... It’s a total 180 from what you’d expect.”

“Well, I always knew she had some hidden depths, but still... If that’s the real her, then I guess the happy Iori we all knew was just a farce... No, that’s stupid. It couldn’t have been a total farce.”

“Yeah... That was still her.”

Nagase had put on so many different personas over the course of her life, she’d lost sight of who she really was... but that, too, was likely just a matter of perspective. After spending a full year of his life with her. Taichi refused to believe that it was just some performance.

“I just... I don’t even know how to talk to her anymore.”

“Me either.”

If she was struggling with something, then he wanted to help her... but she didn’t want his help. She seemed to want things to stay just as they were. Still, she didn’t exactly seem to enjoy it.

“...Sorry,” Inaba apologized, hanging her head.

“Where did that come from?”

“I just... feel responsible,” she replied in a small voice, quiet enough that he could have mistaken it for part of the background music playing faintly over the cafe’s speakers. “If only I’d never admitted to my feelings for you, the two of you would’ve gotten together by now, and none of this would’ve happened to us... to Iori.”

As things stood now, Nagase was emotionally isolating herself from the others.

“Personally, I’m not so sure.” Taichi’s expression twisted in misery; thankfully, Inaba didn’t look up to see it.

“I ruined everything... I’m sorry...”

Don’t apologize, he thought. What good will that do any of us?

Besides, she wasn’t at fault here. It wasn’t a crime to have feelings for someone.

He’d told himself he was only ever interested in Nagase, but thinking back... maybe his romance with her was doomed from the moment Inaba’s confession made him hesitate.

“You had nothing to do with it, Inaba... Okay, maybe not literally nothing. Maybe if you’d kept quiet about it, I would be dating Nagase right now.”

“See?!” Inaba looked up, her eyes glistening with tears.

“But I never understood Nagase as a person, so our relationship probably would’ve sucked... and then we would’ve fallen apart anyway.” Can’t have a relationship without mutual understanding, after all. “Sure, maybe you threw a wrench in things, but we would’ve ended up here sooner or later, you know?”

“...But maybe your relationship would’ve brought you closer together... Helped you understand each other...”

“Well, we never got that far. And that’s on me.” That’s a fact, and I need to stop trying to escape it. He looked directly into her eyes. “It wasn’t your fault, Inaba.”

He couldn’t be strong for his own sake, but he could do it for her... and thankfully, this helped him figure out where to go from here. After talking to Inaba, he was reminded just how important it was to open up instead of holding everything inside.

“...Our little love story was great for what it was, but I don’t think either of us were really ready for it. We didn’t have anything figured out. We were just... going through the motions.”

He was bluffing, of course. This was just the person he wished he was. Maybe later he’d go home and feel sorry for himself—but for now, he wanted to be the kind of guy who had his act together.

“But at the end of the day, she turned me down, and now we’re back where we started. Where we’ll go from here, I can’t say. Maybe I’ll give it another shot with her, or maybe not. All I can say for sure is, things are far from over. This is only the beginning.”

As he finished, it occurred to him just how... relieved he felt.

Who cares if I screw up? I can just give it another try. Nothing’s stopping us from falling in love all over again!

“Uh, hello? Are you going to factor me into your little ‘beginning’?”

Oh, right.

Come to think of it, Inaba had reached the same conclusion herself. She had confessed her feelings only to be met with rejection... but instead of giving up, she declared she would keep trying, no matter how many times she met with failure. Would it be arrogant to say I really appreciate that about her?

“...As long as you’re okay with that.”

He’d need to spend a lot of time rethinking his feelings, but he wanted to do right by everyone involved.

“Hah! No shit, genius.” A warm smile spread on her face.

Despite the tough front he was putting up, he wasn’t sure he was completely over Nagase just yet. But now that the slate had been wiped clean, surely there was no shame in falling for her all over again... Or who knows, maybe he’d start to see Inaba in a new light—

“You know, Taichi...” Inaba paused to wipe her eyes. “Even if you got shot down like a loser, you’re still pretty damn badass... even though you totally got shot down.”

“I heard you the first time, alright?!”

Still... After talking it out with her, Taichi finally felt like maybe he wasn’t so powerless after all.

□■□■□

The emotional damage of the rejection was still there, and Nagase was getting harder and harder to interact with, but right now Taichi was feeling optimistic. He wanted to give it another shot—love, specifically, but maybe everything else, too.

But first, there was something he needed to take care of—something so important, he couldn’t fathom why he’d put it off for this long.

“So, what d’you wanna talk about?” Rina called as she came down the stairs to the first floor.

“Come in and have a seat,” Taichi replied from the living room.

“Why’re you trying to act all serious? It’s weird.”

Yaegashi Rina had a way of running her mouth.

She took a seat on the sofa—

“Wait, why are you sitting next to me? Take the hint and sit across from me!”

“Who cares! Just make it quick, okay? I’m a busy girl!”

...Yaegashi Rina also had a way of being a cheeky little brat.

“Okay, whatever. Ahem! So, we need to have a little talk. It’s important.”

“Yes, I get that. Is it really this big of a deal?” She tilted her head.

Yaegashi Rina had a way of being completely adorable—

Enough! Focus!

“Do you remember what happened on Valentine’s Day?”

“What part of it? You were in a bad mood that day, so we barely talked.”

“The part where you gave me some chocolate.”

“Oh, right. Yeah, i remember that.”

“Do you remember what you said to me at the time?”

“No...?”

“You said, and I quote, ‘A-And just so you know... this is ultra-super-special chocolate, just for you!’ Remember?”

“Oh, that’s right. What about it?”

“What do you mean, ‘what about it’?! Okay, look... I love you very, very much. But only as a sister. I understand you may think of me in a special way, but because we’re blood-related, the ethical implications—”

“Pfffhahaha! Oh my god... Just because I said your gift was special, you think I have a crush on you? Pffft!”

“Wh... But I... But you...!”

“Hahahaha! You’re so silly! Good grief... Of course I wouldn’t have a crush on you. You’re my brother!”

“Oh... Good... I mean, I figured I was wrong, but I wanted to set the record straight just in case...”

Taichi had jumped to the weirdest possible conclusion. How very awkward.

“Sheesh! Don’t be so obsessed with me, you dork!”

“Look, you’re my sister, alright? Of course I’m gonna worry about you.”

“Most brothers don’t, you know! But I do appreciate how much you love me and care about me.”

“In a brotherly way, of course!”

“Hee hee! Yeah, yeah, I get it. Hmm... I should give you something nice in return... Oh, I know! Come closer so I can tell you a secret.”

“Hm? What’s up?”

Taichi leaned over so she could whisper... and she planted a kiss on his cheek.

“Whawhawhawhawhawhawha...?!”

“And just so you know, that was my first kiss!”

[My little sister just kissed me!!!]

And so, the next day, Taichi was forced to explain to everyone that his relationship with his sister was perfectly ordinary and not at all some weird incest thing.