1

“Sigh. Now everyone thinks I’m a weirdo thanks to you two.”

We started aimlessly wandering the city after retiring from the Eris church.

“Oh, you’re blaming us? That’s rich. Word on the street is you’re quite the problem child back in Axel. In other words, perhaps people have always thought you were an odd one, Megumin.”

“Megumin’s famous.”

“H-hold on. I mean, I am well-known, but…”

Not even in my wildest dreams did I ever expect to be called a “problem child” by an Axis follower. I was somewhat shocked, to be honest.

Zesta slowly added:

“Megumin, wizard and honorary consultant of the Axis Church, I am gravely disappointed to have to tell you this, but the Eris Church most likely had nothing to do with this. Nevertheless, I do still feel an ominous aura coming from someone somewhere in town.”

“Wait. ‘Honorary’ what?”

Zesta deeply knitted his brow while ignoring the question mark over my head.

“I have felt this threatening aura once before. It was when that female demon with that outrageous body attacked the city and General Hans of the Demon King’s army tried to sabotage our nation…”

“My friend Kazuma told me that religious people like to call things divine punishment or a miracle after it has already happened, so I shouldn’t trust them.”

“How can you say such a thing, Megumin? Bring that boy with you next time you come to see me, because it sounds like I need to give him a lecture on just how great Goddess Aqua is.”

Just then…

“Eeeeeek! Somebody, help!”

…there was a woeful scream coming from the inn facing the main road.

“What’s wrong?!”

The moment I sprinted inside, I found someone, who appeared to be a worker here, listlessly sitting on her knees.

“The snacks I had been saving for a special occasion were stolen…! Some squishy, transparent creature took them, jumped into the water pipe, and ran away!”

It was obviously a slime, based on the witness’s testimony. Zesta and Cecily exchanged glances and nodded.

“This must have been…”

“…the work of an Eris follow—”

“The Eris sect had nothing to do with this! Now get out of here! You’re in my way!”

After brushing them off, I smiled at the inn employee to help her calm down.

“Are you okay? You should be thankful that your snacks were the only thing this inn lost.”

But the despair did not fade from her expression as she covered her face and shook her head.

“It’s over! My life is over! Nobody’s going to come stay at the inn once word gets out that it has a slime problem!”

“I understand your concern, but it was just a gelatinous slime. Nobody’s going to be afraid to come here because of that.”

It wasn’t in gelatinous slimes’ nature to hurt people. Nevertheless, she shook her head.

“But there still might be customers who are allergic to slimes. Oh gosh. It’s over. My life is ruined… I should have never taken over the inn. I should have accepted that job as a chicken sexer… But there is one way I could save the inn…”

She spread open her fingers that were covering her face, peeking at me through them as if she wanted me to ask her what that was. To be honest, I was more interested in hearing about that chicken sexer job, though.

“I bet I’d get more repeat customers if a beautiful, young magical girl, who just happened to be passing by, helped me out at the inn from time to time. Then she c— Ah! H-hey, wait! Please just listen to what I have to say!”

I almost forgot that this town was full of Axis followers. After escaping from the inn, I decided to complain to two followers I knew all too well when…

“Megumin, I heard a scream coming from that way!”

“Stop goofing around and let’s go, Megumin! It is our duty as Axis followers to protect the city of Arcanletia!”

“I am not an Axis follower! Stop pulling me! Fine! I’ll go with you!”

And just like that, the excited duo ended up dragging me to our next location.

“So you’re saying someone stole the underwear you hung out to dry?”

“Yes… They were my favorite pair of panties and bra, to boot…”

The next victim was a young woman with an hourglass figure. Apparently, the underpants she left out to dry on the balcony had suddenly disappeared.

“By the way, what color were your panties if you don’t mind me asking? Also, what size bra do you wear?”

“Go away, Zesta! I can handle this without you!”

I thought telling him to leave would wipe that serious expression right off his face, but…

“Megumin, this is no time to play your silly games! This young woman is a victim, and she needs our help!”

“Huh?! S-sorry. I thought you were…”

He seemed to be genuinely concerned about her as he scolded me with his unchanging serious expression. He was surprisingly dedicated to helping the townspeople as their leader.

“Now, I am going to need to check other panties in your collection for future reference. In addition, if you could give me a freshly worn pair to lure out the criminal—”

“I feel like an idiot for apologizing in the first place!”

I grabbed Zesta by the shoulders and began violently shaking him until Cecily, who was inspecting the scene as well, spoke up.

“Father Zesta, look!”

Cecily pointed at a bag and a letter lying next to the woman’s laundry. Zesta and Cecily nodded firmly at each other, then slowly began scanning through the letter…

“‘This money should pay for a new pair, but please let me know if it’s not enough. Priest Krein of the Axis Church…’ What in the world does that mean? It makes no sense.”

“This is turning out to be a very mysterious case. This is one bad slime we’re after.”

“I’m going to the police… Hey! Let go of me, you two!”

2

We wandered around town a little more after that, slaying a few slimes along the way until we decided to take a break on a bench at the park.

“I had no idea slimes could cause this much damage,” muttered Cecily with a grave expression.

“It appears we were underestimating the severity of it all. What to do now…?” asked Zesta with a similarly grave expression.

I asserted:

“Eighty percent of all the problems in this town were caused by Axis followers, though.”

Cecily smiled gently.

“There are times when people would actually be happier not knowing the truth. Surely, you’ve blamed someone else for something you’ve done before, right?”

“Don’t lump me in with your kind. I have never—”

I suddenly remembered when I blew up part of Crimson Magic Village and blamed it on that female demon.

“…Anyway, that guy who stole the underwear ended up giving them back, and he seemed to have regretted his actions, since he was crying, so I guess I could turn a blind eye.”

“The reason he was crying was because he had to give back the underwear. We Axis followers don’t feel guilt.”

“Stop making stupid jokes like that. I was trying to agree with you.”

Right as Cecily and I started arguing…

“The wyvern…! The wyvern was slain!” A voice rang out from the vicinity of the city entrance. Wyverns, while not as strong as pure-blooded dragons, were massive creatures that ruled the skies. They were powerful monsters that killed their prey with their poisonous tails. I’d heard this area had a lot of powerful monsters compared with Axel, but I’d wasn’t expecting something this big.

“Those two girls were the ones who slayed the wyvern! That spell-caster from the Crimson Magic Clan and that blond-haired loli!”

When we headed over to the town’s entrance, the massive body of a wyvern lay on the ground with spectators already crowding around it. In the center of the crowd, however…

“Okay. What happened? You were supposed to be slaying stray slimes around town, so what were you doing outside of town killing a wyvern?”

“I-it’s not our fault there were no slimes in town. A Thief, who was an Axis follower, was showing us around when all of a sudden, he said his gut told him there was a giant monster right outside of town, so…”

There were no slimes? Not even one? It didn’t make any sense. We had already slayed numerous slimes, and we weren’t even looking for them… Wait.

“Iris, what level are you right now?”

I whispered to Iris, who seemed flustered by the crowd around her.

“Me? Lately, I’ve been eating a lot of ingredients packed with experience points to prepare for the battle against the Demon King’s army, so I’m probably about to reach Level 60. Why?”

I pretended like I didn’t hear anything. But, well, now I could see why they didn’t run into any slimes around town. Weak monsters instinctively know not to approach when they sense a powerful aura…which meant that these two weren’t going to be able to slay any slimes.

“Anyway, what were you doing while we were hunting big game?”

“We were slaying gelatinous slimes, which was supposed to be your job, plus cleaning up Axis followers’ messes—you know, stuff like that.”

Why did I, someone who had defeated countless generals in the Demon King’s army, have to waste my time slaying gelatinous slimes like some chump?

“Oh really? So the slimes weren’t hiding from you, Megumin, huh? Hee-hee. It sounds like they were afraid of us, but not afr—”

“Hmph!!”

“Eeeeeeeeek!”

I tightly squeezed Yunyun’s chest to teach her some manners.

“The slimes weren’t afraid of you! They were afraid of Iris! You and I are basically on the same level! What, think you’re special because you went out and killed a wyvern?! I wanted to slay a powerful monster, too, you know!”

“Okay, okay! I’m sorry, so can you let go of my boobs already?!”

Yunyun screamed as I squeezed her oversize breasts until they changed shape in the palms of my hands.

“Megumin, Megumin!! Am I hearing things, or did a beautiful young girl just yell the word boobs?!”

“You weren’t hearing things. Yunyun did, in fact, scream that.”

“Stop! I’m sorry! I really am! So please don’t excite Zesta any more than you already have!”

Feeling satisfied with myself, I decided to think about our next move. We needed to slay Cecily’s gelatinous slimes, but the way we were going about it now was grossly inefficient.

“Cecily, you’re familiar enough with slimes to be able to improve them, right? Do you know if there’s any way to get all the stray slimes to gather at a single spot in town?”

“Hmm… Well, while I have nothing to do with what happened here, I do know a thing or two about slimes, and slimes…love beautiful young women.”

Beautiful young women…

“Um… Do slimes have taste buds? Also, do gelatinous slimes eat meat? I vaguely remember them stealing vegetables once before…”

“Megumin, are you listening to me? I said slimes love beautiful young women. They gravitate toward them the moment they catch sight of one because they instinctively want to cover them in slime.”

Cecily was beyond hope.

“I’m impressed, Cecily. I, Zesta, know exactly what you’re trying to say. In other words, you think we should toss beautiful little girls like Megumin into a bathtub with plumbing. Then, when the slimes instinctively slide their way through the tubes to slime her, we strike.”

“Precisely, Father Zesta. Fortunately, we have a stone sauna and bath back at the Axis headquarters that Megumin created last time with Explosion. While it is now used for collecting holy water, we can have Megumin and the others take a luxurious bath in the holy water to lure out the slimes.”

These were the expressions of two people who were dead serious, and yet I still had to wonder if they were mentally all there.

“Very well. I, the highest-level Arch-priest in the Axis Church, vow to protect you all with my life.”

“No, Father Zesta. Slimes love beautiful young girls. The bath must be a paradise filled with cuties laughing and playing to draw out the slimes. A smelly old man would only scare them off, so allow me to be the one who watches over and protects them.”

“Pardon me, Cecily. I thought you said slimes were only attracted to beautiful young girls, so using your logic, wouldn’t you being there scare the slimes off, too? Come on—think of how many beautiful girls will be there. One middle-aged man and an average-looking woman shouldn’t make any difference.”

Their expressions were absolutely serious, despite how ridiculous the conversation was. They exchanged glances and nodded.

“So, Megumin…”

“We’ve come to a decision.”

“I don’t mind doing it, since I was the one who asked and I am sick of listening to you two, but both of you have to wait outside.”

3

We were at the Axis headquarters. Inside was a stone sauna and open-air bath with an overhead view of Arcanletia. I’d made it a while back with Explosion to thank Cecily. The bath and view itself were honestly amazing, but…

“Ahhhhhhhhh!”

“Wait! I’ll pay however much you want!”

“Iris! If you move out of the way, I will baptize you so you can become one of us! I will even give you my job as the leader of the Axis Church if you want!”

“I may be older than you guys, but I’m still a girl at heart! Come on! Let me in! Let me iiiiiin!”

I could hear the screams of countless Axis followers coming from the other side of the bathroom door. Iris, however, was standing guard in front of the changing room. Ideally, she would be even farther away from the bath area, since the gelatinous slimes were afraid of her, but we didn’t have anyone else to protect us from the Axis followers.

“People of Arcanletia, voyeurism is a crime.”

“Ahhh! Iris, please don’t look at me with such innocent eyes while talking sense into me! The darkness in my innocent heart is letting out a bitter cry!”

Iris was apparently lecturing Cecily, who was throwing a fit, on the difference between right and wrong.

“Hey, Megumin. Is this really necessary? I mean, the water feels nice, but I’m a little uneasy, given the location…”

“It’s not like we have any other options. I do not even think we are going to catch any slimes like this. But, well, we came all the way to Arcanletia, so while there are not any more hot springs, we can at least enjoy a luxurious bath in holy water.”

Yunyun and I sighed in relief while soaking in the rock bath. For some reason, Arcanletia’s source was pumping out high-quality holy water, so when the city had been in trouble of going under, they started bottling and selling it, which made them tons of money and put their economy in a small bubble.

“I would have brought Chomusuke with me if I knew we would be doing this. She has been obsessed with baths lately.”

“You know, I’ve always wondered if she was really a cat, and I’m starting to have my doubts.”

The sliding door to the bathroom slowly opened while we were chatting. Cecily, with a towel wrapped around herself, leaned her upper body to the side and peeked into the room as if she wanted to say something.

“…I started crying, so Iris caved and told me I could come inside as long as it was okay with you two.”

I didn’t know how to feel about a full-grown woman crying and begging a little girl even younger than me to let her in.

“I’m fine with it as long as you promise not to do anything weird…”

“Yesss!”

Cecily swiftly dumped a bucket of warm water over her body before rushing into the bath with a smile. She sank into the water until it was up to her shoulders, then suddenly tilted her curious head.

“Hmm? I feel like the holy water was a lot more potent last time I was here…”

“Sounds like the Axis Church is finally being punished for everything they have done to this town.”

“How can you say that, Megumin? This is strange, though. It feels like there’s something in the water that shouldn’t be there…”

Usually, I’d just ignore her, but Axis followers had surprisingly good instincts.

“The holy water here comes from where the original source was, right? Maybe some weird creature decided to settle there.”

“I don’t know… Normally, it would take an obscene amount of deadly poison to contaminate holy water…”

Yunyun, who was mirthfully enjoying the warm water, suddenly muttered:

“Hey, Cecily? Do you think the gelatinous slimes you were keeping could have mutated?”

Cecily twitched.

“O-oh, Yunyun. Come on. Gelatinous slimes are harmless creatures. They don’t even eat meat. They are extremely clean and delicious, to boot. There’s no way my lovely gelatinous slimes would ever mutate into something poisonous…”

Cecily was smiling while trying to explain how Yunyun was wrong, but there was something about how her eyes were wandering that worried me.

“How about we go to the source and see for ourselves? Just in case.”

“Noooooo!”

Iris wore an apologetic gaze as Zesta cheerfully grinned by her side.

“Please be careful, everyone. Again, I am really sorry I couldn’t be of any help…”

They saw us off behind the Axis headquarters as we departed for the source of the hot spring. The slimes would run away if we brought Iris with us, so she had to stay here. Zesta, on the other hand, volunteered to stay with her himself rather than come with us and had been grinning from ear to ear ever since Iris called him Uncle Zesta.

“You be careful, too, Iris. If any Axis followers get within even ten feet of you, you have my permission to slay them.”

“But, Megumin, there’s already one right next to me.”

And yet, Zesta didn’t even attempt to move away from her.

“Zesta, I know this goes without saying, but Iris is royalty. You may be the leader here, but your head will roll if you try anything funny. This isn’t a joke, okay? Please.”

“Humans are deeply sinful creatures. Telling them not to do something only makes them want to do it even more.”

I should probably tie him up.

4

We made our way to the base of the mountains that towered over the town. At the top of the rugged mountain path was the original source for the hot-springs water, where we found…

“Yep. Those are definitely gelatinous slimes.”

“Nooooooooo!”

Dozens of familiar gelatinous slimes were already jiggling around where the hot-springs water used to be, but it didn’t stop there. In the middle of the crowd of slimes was a small black slime that was latching on to something and digesting it in front of the old hot-springs water source.

“Ah! Hold on! Megumin, look. They’re giving it food! See?! That mysterious slime, which I have never seen in my life, is forcing my babies to steal food for it! In other words, I’m innocent!”

“Are you sure? Because judging by how things have gone so far, nobody would be surprised if you had something to do with that black slime as well.”

Cecily twitched. Suddenly, the black creature receiving food from the gelatinous slimes looked our way.

“…?!”

The black creature gasped as if it were surprised, then struck a very humanlike pose.

“Miss Knows-Everything-About-Slimes, is that really a slime? It looks rather intelligent for a low-level monster.”

“But of course. That is my child, after all. I improved the slimes, so it’s no surprise they gained intelligence as a result!”

Cecily talked a big game for someone who had just said she had never seen that slime in her life. All of a sudden, Yunyun, who was the most respectable adventurer of the party, tightened her expression.

“Wait! That venomous black color… Is that…?!”

The blood of the Crimson Magic Clan suddenly awakened in Yunyun as she stared at the gelatinous slime variant.

“Did you realize it, too, Yunyun? Yes, that’s the legendary creature spoken of in the tales of our village!”

“What are you talking about?! No it’s not! But that is an extremely dangerous slime.”

I was trying to be nice and play along with Yunyun’s fantasy, and she got mad at me? All of a sudden, the black creature squirmed in Yunyun’s direction.

“Oh? You know who I am, young lady?”

“““It talked?!”””

We shouted in surprise at the creature’s sudden remark.

“Cecily, did you seriously make a gelatinous slime that could talk?! Wait! Does this mean that even slimes can have brains?!”

“I don’t know about the brain part, but right now, I’m more focused on figuring out where that voice is coming from! How terrifying…my genius can be at times. I can’t believe the gelatinous slime I created evolved into this!”

“Guys, that is not what you should be worried about!”

Yunyun tightened her guard, contrary to our excitement.

“That monster can speak our language, despite not even being humanoid. Only extremely high-level monsters can do that. Who are you?!”

Yunyun drew the wand that hung above her waist and pointed it at the monster.

“Who am I, you ask? I honestly do not know the answer to that myself. However…”

“Yunyun, that’s one of my children! I must have created it without even realizing it! I shall call this gelatinous slime subspecies…Cappy! From now on, his name will be Cappy!”

Cecily cut off the creature right when it sounded like he was going to say something serious. Nevertheless, Cappy appeared to ponder for a moment before replying.

“No. While I only have a few faint memories of my past, I don’t think my name was Cappy. And I am not a ‘gelatinous slime,’ which is a ridiculous name for a species, I might add, eith—”

“You’re such a good boy, Cappy! You’re so clever! Now come on. Let’s go home! …Megumin, there are collectors who would kill to get their hands on a talking slime. Oh my gosh. I’m going to be rich. First thing I’ll do is take you out on a date.”

It appeared she had already made up her mind on selling Cappy to a collector. She even invited me on a date. It better be an expensive restaurant.

“Will you shut up and let me talk already?! I am not Cappy! My name was Lance or Vince or something like that!” lectured Cappy as his tiny, dumpling-size body jiggled with rage.

“But the name Cappy is so much cuter! Megumin, what should I do? Cappy’s already going through his rebellious stage!”

“I do not really know what’s going on, but it is nothing to get upset over, Mr. Cappy. It is a cool name, after all.”

“I don’t care what some member of the Crimson Magic Clan thinks about names! …Crimson Magic Clan? Yes…! The Crimson Magic Clan!”

Cappy, all fired up, seemed to come to some sort of realization.

“Cecily! Megumin! Stand back! Do not let that slime touch you! I know that monster! It’s so poisonous that simply touching it could kill you in the blink of an eye! Plus, it’s strong against both physical and magical attacks!”

Yunyun was getting worked up, perhaps due to her Crimson Magic Clan blood… It wasn’t just Yunyun who was feeling that way, though.

“Why do I know the Crimson Magic Clan? How do I know they all have ridiculous names? Who am I…?”

Cappy continuously questioned himself, as if he was trying to confirm his own existence.

“Yunyun, how are you going to fix this? Cappy was just born, and he’s already being influenced by the Crimson Magic Clan.”

“I actually think that would be pretty cool. But, Yunyun, you need to work on his backstory. Let’s give him a more terrifying ability. Like he can grow really big, or shoot lasers, or turn into a human, or something.”

“This is no time to be joking, you two! This slime is seriously dangerous!”

As Yunyun’s eyes glowed crimson, Cappy began to shiver, as if he was on the verge of remembering something else.

“I’m dangerous…? Yes… The old me was strong. I used to be able to kill my foes simply by touching them, just like that girl said. People used to fear me and stay far away from me.”

“Megumin, things are starting to elevate between them. Do you think we should do something before Cappy embarrasses himself? He’s talking like an edgy teenager.”

“Shh. This is starting to get good. Let’s watch just a little bit longer, okay? It sounds like they are gravitating toward origin stories that involved them being rivals in the past.”

I decided to keenly watch over Yunyun and Cappy from afar as they faced each other.

“Why am I here, though? Why was I making these slimes gather food for me? Why…?! It’s on the tip of my tongue, but…!”

“I don’t know what’s going on with you, but you can’t stay here! You’re too dangerous! I’ll let you go, though, if you promise not to hurt anyone and go back to the forest!”

They were really doing a good job of maintaining the serious atmosphere, and I was genuinely feeling left out. Cappy froze for a brief moment when Yunyun gave him an ultimatum.

“I can’t do that. There must have been a reason I came to this place—a source of hot water. All I know is that it’s my mission to tarnish this land. Besides…”

His acting was phenomenal, despite being a lowly slime.

“You’ll let me go?! There’s no way I can let you go after learning you’re from the Crimson Magic Clan! I hate those people, and I hate Axis followers!” sharply declared Cappy. It must have taken a lot of guts for a harmless gelatinous slime.

“Cappy hates the Crimson Magic Clan? I didn’t raise him to be a bigot. Megumin, do you think it’s my fault he turned out this way?”

“He said he hates Axis followers, too. You shouldn’t have neglected your children.”

But all of a sudden…

“Oh yeah… I just remembered why I hate the Crimson Magic Clan and Axis followers! I…I remembered everything!”

Cappy began trembling as if to convey that this was the climax of the show.

“I am a dead poison slime and a general of the Demon King’s army! My name is—”

“I am Megumin! Axel’s number one wizard and a member of the Crimson Magic Clan!”

“All the excitement got you fired up, too, huh, Megumin? But you shouldn’t interrupt people and steal the show during their big scene.”

I got so excited that I accidentally cut Cappy off in the middle of his monologue.

“I’m sorry. The Crimson Magic blood in my veins bubbled with excitement… Please, Cappy. Go on.”

“I am sick of you two interrupting me! If you’re not going to shut up, then get out of here! …Wait. I remember you!”

Cappy suddenly shifted his focus to me, perhaps due to how many times I had interrupted him.

“Cecily, do you think I should play along? It might sound cheap or cliché, but what if Cappy and I were rivals in a past life?”

“I don’t know. I’d feel bad for Yunyun, since she’s his current rival, you know? How about Cappy being your long-lost father?”

“I would feel bad for my real father back home… Do you have any good ideas, Cappy?”

“That’s enough!! Do you seriously not remember me?! My body may have gotten smaller, but our battle was legendary!” claimed Cappy as his body shook.

“He’s talking about some fierce battle we had, so it looks like he’s fine with the rivals-in-a-past-life backstory.”

“Awww… I liked the long-lost father idea better… After learning that she was the daughter of a slime, Megumin falls into despair and embraces the dark side. But at the very end, I, a saint, use the power of prayer to heal the evil out of her, and we live happily ever after.”

There was something somewhat attractive about embracing the dark side, but the ending was a definite “no thank you” from me.

““What do you think?””

“Y-you…! Both of you…! You’re going to pay!”

Almost immediately after Cecily and I asked Cappy what he thought…

“Inferno!”

Yunyun’s echoing voice was followed by a scorching hellfire, swallowing every jiggling gelatinous slime in sight along with Cappy’s small body.

“Cappyyyyyy!” cried Cecily, tears in her eyes.

“I-I’m sorry, Cecily… But that slime was…”

Yunyun apologetically curled over, but it was too late. We had already given the slime a name and spoken with him, and thus had grown attached to him. I was rubbing Cecily’s back to console her as she wailed and cried when…

“Sniffle…! Hic…! I was going to be rich… I could have sold Cappy for so much money… I was going to take Megumin on a date with that money… All my beautiful gelatinous slimes are gone…”

“Cappy put his heart into his role and would turn in his grave if he heard you say that. Besides, think about all the places those slimes had been. They were filthy. You’re lucky you didn’t eat any of them.”

The roaring flames burning the ground were slowly dissipating when all of a sudden, I heard a crack. The scorching flames had turned the ground into glass.

“Impressive as always, Crimson Magic Clan. However, I am a general of the Demon King’s army. I am Han—”

“He’s alive! He’s alive, Cecily! Cappy’s still alive!”

“Yes!!”

Cecily and I joined hands and celebrated Cappy’s survival.

“What are you two celebrating for?! Please…! This is serious!”

“Stop interrupting me before I finish introducing myself! Ugh! Whatever. I’ll just start with you, since you were the first to attack! After that, I’m going to tear the pip-squeak over there apart for blowing me into pieces last time!”

“Pip-squeak”? Was he talking about me? I never thought I’d see the day where a gelatinous slime tried to pick a fight with me.

“You survived Inferno?! It looks like you’re not just any ordinary deadly poison slime! How about this? Lightning Strike!”

A bolt of lightning immediately struck Cappy right after Yunyun’s chant. Cappy’s tiny body twitched, but he managed to endure the shock as smoke rose from his body.

“Your spells are powerful for your age, but unfortunately for you, you’re outclassed! A high-level spell or two isn’t enough to defeat me!” declared Cappy before immediately torpedoing for Yunyun like a thrown ball. However, right before he hit her, Yunyun launched her body to the side and rolled out of the way.

“Megumin, Megumin! This fight between Yunyun and my Cappy is getting tense!”

“She really puts herself out there for others. Even though he’s a slime, she must be really happy to have someone to play with, since she hasn’t had a friend in years.”

“Do I look happy?! Do you not see me desperately trying to dodge him?!”

A tiny slime like Cappy would hardly do any damage even if he ran into you, yet Yunyun was working really hard not to break character while pretending simply touching him would kill her. As Cappy threw himself at Yunyun once more, she swung her wand and hit him as hard as she could.

“Would you look at him fly? Yunyun seems like she’s having so much fun.”

“She really does. You must be thrilled to have finally made a friend, huh, Yunyun?”

“Stop joking around and help me already!!”

Yunyun continuously smacked him with her wand, tears in her eyes and breathing heavily, but Cappy just kept bouncing back. More importantly…

“Cecily, is it just me, or does Cappy seem a little…strong? Yunyun is going to be the next leader of the Crimson Magic Clan, so it is a little strange that someone who claims to be my rival cannot defeat a little slime in one hit.”

“I left the slime powder hidden in the Axis headquarters for a long time, so it probably received Goddess Aqua’s blessing or something.”

Made sense.

“Does that make Cappy an Axis follower, then? That’d explain why he doesn’t know when to take a hint and give up.”

“Hey! Don’t you dare call me something so disgraceful! And it’s about time you remembered who I am!”

Cappy shifted his attention to us as if he was not about to let us get away with calling him an Axis follower. But all of a sudden…

“Cursed Crystal Prison!”

“Hnnng?!” gurgled Cappy, his voice filled with surprise, as Yunyun trapped him inside a cell made of ice.

…It was strange. There was something about seeing a slime being frozen in ice.

“You let your guard down, and I can’t afford to lose this battle when the Crimson Magic Clan’s reputation is on the line!”

“Ha-ha! I thought you were just a little brat, but I find myself impressed yet again! Tell me your name, girl! Then we fight to the death!”

I’m a woman who never looks back, but there was something familiar about Cappy’s voice…

Eh. Whatever.

“My name is Yunyun, the powerful Arch-wizard! I am the greatest wizard of the Crimson Magic Clan and its next leader! …I used to not like giving my name before battle, but…it’s surprisingly not that bad.”

“Ha-ha! Not bad at all if I do say so myself! So…you’re the next leader in line, huh? No wonder you’re so strong! Very well. Allow me to express my gratitude by telling you what I’ve been doing since I came back to life. I’ll tell you just how I survived after being blown to bits! It all started when…”

As a member of the Crimson Magic Clan, I wasn’t going to back down from a fight, especially when the opponent trying to pick a fight with me was a gelatinous slime. I pointed my wand at Cappy and…

“Explooosion!”

“What is wrong with youuuuuuuuu?!”

5

We returned to the Axis headquarters to inform them that we had exterminated Cappy.

“…And so Cecily’s gelatinous slime just mysteriously evolved and—”

“Megumin, wait! I’ve thought about it, and I’m positive Cappy wasn’t one of mine. It wouldn’t make any sense! I mean, he talked! And he was rebellious!”

“Megumin! I am not letting this slide! Not today! How do you always manage to misread the situation?! Because of you, my battle with Cappy was…!”

I ignored their complaints and focused my attention on Iris, who had stayed behind.

“Did anyone mess with you while we were gone? You don’t need to cry yourself to sleep tonight. I know a real cold-blooded prosecutor in Axel who can help us out legally if needed.”

“You don’t need to worry about a thing, boss. All Uncle Zesta asked me to do was to blow up a balloon for him, since his lungs apparently aren’t what they used to be. Nothing else happened, really…”

Zesta instantly dashed off, holding a balloon like it was his most cherished possession. Yunyun promptly chased after him for me, since I was unable to move after expending my mana. She eventually backed him into a corner, and his expression turned grim, as if it were the end of the world. He then resolutely brought the lip of the balloon toward his face and…

“Light of Saber!”

“Sacred Dispel!”

Yunyun shot a blade of light at the balloon, but Zesta stuck out his hand, causing the light to vanish.

“Zesta, please don’t try to block the spell like that! This magic can cut through anything, depending on how much power the caster puts into it! I could have cut off your arm!”

“And you just used a dangerous spell like that on me?! You have no right to complain! The breath of a beautiful young girl is sealed within this divine treasure, and it shall be enshrined here until the end of time. Now begone, heretic!”

“How can you call me a heretic after all I’ve done for you today?! I will not be treated like this! Hand over that balloon!”

Yunyun unsheathed her dagger in a rage, as if she was going to pop the balloon.

“Sigh… Your temper is even shorter than mine, Yunyun. Come on. Why be mad? You got to kill a wyvern with Iris, but all I got to do was destroy some slime subspecies,” I said while exhaustedly sinking into my chair. Cecily smiled at me.

“Megumin, Megumin. I’m going to give you a reward for working so hard today and defeating that slime.”

“N-no thank you. I’m fine. We’re friends, aren’t we? So I don’t need a thing!”

I was spent due to using all my mana, so I could hardly move…which meant I wouldn’t be able to fight back if Cecily did anything to me. She smirked as her right hand approached me…

“Blessing!”

She cast a blessing spell on me.

“Um… Is this my reward?”

“Of course. May great things come to you, Megumin! …Oh? Were you expecting something a little more…intimate? Oh, Megumin! I love you sooooooooo much!”

“Ack! Get off me! I’m already feeling like a bag of rocks because I’m out of mana!”

Cecily latched on to me, rubbing her cheek all over my face.

“I had so much fun on our adventure today, Megumin!”

She then flashed a brilliant smile, grinning from ear to ear.

It wasn’t really much of an adventure, but…I’d be lying if I said I didn’t have fun traveling to a faraway town with everyone.

“Boss, I had a lot of fun on our adventure today, too! Let’s do this again sometime!”

Taken aback by Iris’s innocent grin, I put on a smile and nodded.

“I will not let you off the hook with some feel-good back patting! Nobody is going anywhere until you reflect on your actions and change your ways!”

Yunyun, making no attempt to mask her rage, was mercilessly chasing Zesta after popping the balloon. Watching him pick up the scraps of shredded rubber with tears in his eyes was heartbreaking. She had apparently cut the lip off the balloon just in case, too. Zesta was muttering something about tasting a young girl’s lips and other unspeakable things, so it was good that we shut him down before things got out of hand.

“I am sorry about robbing you of your fight, but Cappy was the one who started it. You cannot blame me for finishing what he started. Besides, Yunyun, it is your fault for being so slow anyway.”

“How was I being slow? You’re supposed to listen to the enemy make one last speech before defeating them!”

It appeared that the blood of the Crimson Magic Clan had slightly awakened in Yunyun, but she still had a long way to go.

“Kazuma said that people who talk about themselves in the middle of battle are chumps. He also said when last bosses say something like Your doom is certain, they’re basically dead men walking, so he’d unleash a surprise attack on them if they started monologuing.”

“More people need to get mad at Kazuma so he’ll learn.”

Just then, Zesta, whose eyes were as red as a Crimson Magic Clan member’s due to all his crying, approached us.

“Regardless of what that heretic right there did, I still appreciate your help today, Megumin. Allow me to express my gratitude as the leader of the Axis Church.”

“It’s fine. Besides, I had a good time.”

Plus, it was not like I was a stranger around these parts. While the Axis followers were a little— No, while the Axis followers were extremely perverted, they were not bad people for the most part… Or at least I’d like to think that…maybe…

I was slowly feeling less confident about it the more I thought about it.

Zesta turned to me as if he was just making small talk and asked:

“By the way, Megumin, how has that Arch-priestess in your party been? Is she doing well?”

“You mean Aqua? She has been doing so well that she sleeps half the day and enjoys every minute of it.”

And she cried a good bit every time she got too carried away, but I decided to keep that to myself to protect her honor.

“Oh, is that so? I’m glad.”

Zesta’s expression warmed with relief, like a grandfather hearing how his dear granddaughter was doing.

“May you and your party be blessed with continued health and happiness.”

He smiled gently at me.

6

That night.

“I’m back.”

“Ahhhhhh! How many times do you have to win before you’re happy?! I know you’re cheating! You can’t fool these clear eyes!”

I was welcomed by Aqua’s crying the moment I opened the door to the mansion.

“Oh, welcome back. You stayed out late today, huh? Where’d you go?” asked Kazuma, removing a wooden block from a wobbling tower while also pushing Aqua away as she cried and tried to cling to him.

“I went to Arcanletia and had a little adventure.”

Aqua froze when she heard the name of the town.

“Megumin, did you not think to invite me before going somewhere so fun? Arcanletia is the capital of water. And do you know what I’m the goddess of? Exactly. Here, have a seat. You and this cheater Kazuma need someone to set them straight.”

“But you were prohibited from entering Arcanletia. Remember?”

I said to Aqua as she was patting the spot next to her on the couch as if to entice me to sit. Darkness, who was playing with Chomusuke on the rug and letting her nibble on her fingers, also chimed in.

“I would have gone with you, too, if I knew you were going to Arcanletia. To tell the truth, I kind of like those crazy cultists.”

I was having trouble coming up with even a single reason to like them.

“Excuse me, Darkness, but could you please not call my people ‘crazy cultists’? You know what Cecily said? She said the nobles in this country were weirder than both Axis followers and the Crimson Magic Clan combined.”

“Wh-what?! Aqua, next time you see Cecily, you bring her to me! I am going to prove to her that nobles are not weird!”

Darkness suddenly stood up, as if she felt insulted as a noblewoman herself.

“Oh yeah… Now that I think about it, why was I playing with Kazuma, who’s good at games like this, instead of Darkness, who’s terrible? Hey, Darkness? Want to play Tumbling Wooden Tower with me? Loser has to take out the trash for the winner when it’s the winner’s day to do trash.”

“Oh? You think you can win because I’m clumsy, huh? Unfortunately for you, these games take more brainpower than dexterity. Very well. I’ll play your game!”

Darkness promptly took a seat before the wooden-block tower.

“You’re on, Darkness. I may lose to a cheater like Kazuma, but there’s no way I’m losing to you. I have a foolproof strategy, after all.”

“Great. Then let’s see this strategy of yours… If I lose, you’re not going to ask me to do anything outrageous like Kazuma does, right?”

“Darkness, I am about to make stacking wooden blocks into an art form. Are you sure you don’t just want to give up while you can?”

“I’ll never give up.”

I looked away from them as they played their game, dragged my mostly mana-depleted body over to Kazuma’s side, and sat.

“You look really tired today. But I can probably guess why, since you went to Arcanletia.”

“Oh? Are you implying you want to hear about my tales of heroism?”

“Eh. I’m not that curious,” Kazuma replied flat-out while picking Chomusuke up off the rug.

“Hey, Aqua? Why are you only going for the hard ones?”

“I don’t even know why, but the entertainer side of me is telling me I need to go for the hardest blocks to pull out… Ah!”

“I hope you enjoy taking out the trash.”

Their noisy exchange piqued my interest, but I was busy telling Kazuma about my adventure…

“I went to Arcanletia to exterminate a horde of gelatinous slimes today, but there was one that was surprisingly tough…”

…in high hopes that the next day would be the day he joined me on my adventure.

“Rematch! I demand a rematch! This isn’t what it looks like, Darkness! There’s a female ghost living in this mansion, and she’s pushing the blocks out of the tower from the inside…!”