1

At the hideout, which had completely transformed into just a place to hang out…

Chris suddenly spoke up while looking over the list of applicants for my thief gang.

“I just don’t get it.”

To the Thief who stared dumbfounded and motionless at the list, I said, “What are you on about all of a sudden? I do not get what is difficult to understand. That is the list of people wanting to join my crew.”

“How are there so many?! Plus, how did you manage to get the best mansion in Axel as your hideout, and why does the list include the names of famous experts?!”

Just what was wrong with this grunt?

“What are you making such a fuss about? It’s a good thing for an organization to be big.”

“It is, but— Wait, is it?! Hey, does Kazuma know about this?!” asked my underling with a confused look on her face.

“I have told him I got new companions and a hideout, stuff like that.”

“I—I see. So he still doesn’t really know everything… Huh? Am I the only one who thinks this is pretty important?”

It seemed Chris was a worrywart—she was a grunt, after all.

“Are you surprised at the scale of it? Well, this is what happens when I am in charge.”

“Huuuuh…? Y-you’re pretty good, Megumin…” Chris looked at me with a mixture of surprise and awe.

But then…

“Don’t talk like you weren’t worried about it getting bigger than you expected,” Yunyun muttered quietly while expertly constructing a house of cards on the table.

“Hey, if you do not want all your hard work this morning to be destroyed, you ought to watch your mouth.”

“F-fine. I’m going to break my record with five decks of cards today, so cut it out.”

At some point, Yunyun had gotten good at playing alone—what exactly was this girl’s goal?

“By the way…,” Chris said somewhat awkwardly. “Who’s that person who keeps staring at me over there?” The Thief glanced at Cecily, who was peeking her head out from behind the sofa. Despite being a huge fan of girls, Cecily was strangely on her guard around Chris for some reason.

“That’s Cecily, a priestess who’s made herself at home here… What’s wrong, Cecily? You’re always acting crazy, but you’re being especially strange today.”

The clergywoman eyed Chris suspiciously while I asked her what was the matter.

“I’m not really sure myself, but my pretty-little-girl sensors aren’t responding. This is the first time that’s happened, so I’m not sure what to do… Excuse me, might you be a boy pretending to be a little girl? Actually, I wouldn’t mind that, so something’s gotta be wrong.”

“People sometimes mistake me for a boy when I wear shorts, but I’m as female as they come…”

Chris seemed somewhat crestfallen, apparently having been mistaken for a boy before thanks to her short hair and rough garb.

“Ahhh, Chris is a devout follower of Eris. Maybe that is why you two are not compatible.”

Hearing the words “follower of Eris,” Cecily stood up from where she hid behind the sofa.

“What?! I can’t allow a follower of Eris to intrude on my sanctuary of pretty little girls! …Aha, you’re here because you wanted to steal my life of lazing around with young cuties to dote on me every day? You think I’m gonna let you take away such a lovely position, you thieving cat?!”

“‘Thieving cat’?! H-hold on a sec. There seems to be a weird misunderstanding—I was practically half forced to join…!”

Cecily, seemingly allergic to Eris followers, lashed out at Chris…

“Speaking of, Yunyun, is Illis not here today?”

“When I went to the usual meeting spot, her maid gave me a message that she couldn’t come because of a ceremony or something… C-cut it out—don’t blow on the cards like that. Megumin, I’m about to go crazy wondering who that girl really is…”

A royal event, huh?

We’d finally gotten enough people, so I’d been thinking about conducting a raid soon, but oh well.

“That sort of thing cannot be helped, I suppose. It sure would be a problem trying to drag her here if there is a ceremony to attend.”

“Hey, Megumin, who is Illi—? Why are you averting your eyes? Why are you looking away, too, Chris?! Wait, don’t shake me; my tower’s gonna fall!”

After I shook Yunyun by the shoulders to shut her up, I said, “And so now that we have a professional Thief, I would like to finally conduct a raid! It shall be on the first day Illis can participate! Until then, I shall research the raid target and formulate a plan… That is all!” I pounded the table with my fist to show how serious my declaration was…

“Ahhhh, my tower! Waaaiiit!”

…That night.

Having finished supper back home, I approached Kazuma with something to ask.

“The secret to managing problem children? What an odd thing to ask out of the blue.”

I’d tried planning a raid, but the characters I’d recruited made for a thief gang full of easily distracted people.

I wanted to learn the secret to managing troublesome companions from Kazuma, who had an established reputation for doing just that.

I had asked him that very thing, but…

“There’s no secret or anything. I’m not really even trying to manage anyone. Even monster tamers can’t give really specific orders to the monsters they keep. I’m just winging it, guiding all of you with vague instructions.”

“‘Vague instructions,’ huh? You do a good job dealing with it all.”

Though, now that he mentioned it, Kazuma didn’t exactly give such specific directions each time.

“I mean, even if I gave you specific directions, none of you would listen. A top online gamer like me can wing it by judging the situation as it unfolds. In the guild I was in back in my home country, there were lots of problem children worse than all of you.”

“‘Top’ meaning you were high on the leaderboards, right? So you had brothers-in-arms—you did say you attacked forts and hunted bosses together.”

That was one of the many mysteries surrounding Kazuma. He’d said he’d hunted monsters and bosses with his comrades for days at a time, all through the night, making a decent-enough name for himself.

“Yeah, I was considered one of the central guild members, you know. I was in charge of training newbs and scheduling fights against tough enemies. I think that helped prepare me to deal with people like you all.” Kazuma’s words were brimming with unerring confidence.

He’d spoken about this before, and I was convinced he wasn’t lying.

“I guess if I had to say there was any sort of trick to it, it’s trying to understand the other person, rather than trying to abandon them somewhere, no matter how difficult they are.”

“Hey, Kazuma, why did you look at me when you said that?”

I see—so it’s understanding the other person.

“Thank you very much. I will try talking to the others tomorrow.”

“No matter how useless they are, everyone has something they’re good at. If you find that, they might surprise you. Even if it’s someone who makes you wanna leave them in a faraway dungeon somewhere, you might see a side you didn’t expect if you watch them carefully.”

“Hey, like I said, why do you look my way when you say that?”

A side you didn’t expect.

Speaking of, I still didn’t know them that well.

“As an elite gamer to begin with, if I just think of it as a kind of handicap, something to tie me down, I don’t even get mad when others hold me back. Especially with how easy life is now anyway.”

Darkness petted Chomusuke with a smile as she cozied up to the cat. Hearing Kazuma’s confident words, Darkness decided to answer. “Hey, Kazuma, I’m not sure you should say such lewd things around the others.”

“The bondage I’m referring to isn’t the private fun time that you love. Don’t insult gamers.”

Still, maybe this was no ordinary guy if he had been a central guild member at such a young age.

As I began to see Kazuma in a new light, Aqua spoke up while feeding Emperor Zel on her lap.

“You keep talking about us like nuisances, but surely you aren’t including me in that, right? You’re talking about these two, yeah?”

“…What’re you flapping about? You’re the biggest problem child of all.”

Darkness was busy enjoying Chomusuke nibbling on her fingertip but decided to chime in.

“Hey, Kazuma, I don’t cause any problems, do I? I’m confident I’m the most sensible out of the three of us…”

…Hey, wait a minute.

“Where do you get that confidence from?” Kazuma replied. “To me you all just look like mildly intelligent goblins when you’re in battle.”

“You wanna take this outside?” said Aqua. “You’ve got some nerve treating me, with my beauty and intelligence, like a goblin.”

“Yeah,” Darkness said, “this guy’s gotten pretty full of himself recently. I can’t let you call young ladies something so foul just because you put that general of the Demon King into the ground.”

The two of them flew into a rage, as short-tempered as any goblin.

“Both of you are obviously problem children. I am the most levelheaded and calm among all of us, with my great intellect. Being cool, calm, and collected is the selling point of Arch-wizards, after all… However, that poses a bit of a problem. I’m planning a certain something with some pains-in-the-neck who are all so different from one another that I’m not sure it’ll work.”

“‘C-cool, calm, and collected’ must be a joke. You’re like a defective firework that goes off on its own without even being lit,” Kazuma said.

“Hey, Megumin, I’m pretty sure I’m more levelheaded than you are, in battle at least,” Aqua protested.

“I don’t wanna hear that from you, Megumin! You’re the most impatient of all of us!”

The three of them said something to me, but none of it reached my ears. I was busy pondering something else with my arms crossed.

2

“I have a question for you. What do you want to do more than anything right now?”

“Marry you, Megumin.”

As she performed a questionable dance by herself at the hideout early the next morning, Cecily replied with immediate confidence.

“…Er, I am a girl, so marrying you would be…”

Supposedly, that questionable dance had been a prayer to the goddess Aqua. Cecily had been softly muttering, “Lady Aqua, may today also be a good day,” while she moved. Then the priestess went on to say, “Unlike the hardheaded Eris Church, the Axis Church considers the walls of race and sex to be trivial, as long as there are no devil girls or undead involved, so there’s no problem.”

There was quite a big one.

“Um, I appreciate the sentiment, but I would like to become a bride myself. I am sorry.”

“Oh well. Then I’ll do what I can to be a good husband.”

“No, I want to be a bride for a man! D-do not act so depressed; it is not fair for you to act sad when you are always joking around!”

Just as I was wondering what to do with Cecily as she looked at me like an abandoned puppy, she grinned.

“I swear, you’re so cute, Megumin! Oh well, I heard from someone there’s a legendary treasure that makes even a sex change possible. I’ll do whatever it takes to get it for you.”

“Even if you turn into a guy, it does not mean I will marry you, so please stop! Anyway, is there nothing else you want? You’re always so full of desire, I would think there’d be a ton of things you would desire to do,” I said, managing to push her away as she embraced me and stroked my cheek.

“What are you talking about? I’m an Axis follower, you know?”

“…? Of course I know! And?” I cocked my head.

“As an Axis follower, if I have something I want to do, of course I just do it without hesitating. So that I may be unashamed before Lady Aqua, I live and do as I want every day. Like this.” She gave a little smirk as she clung to me.

“What you do and say is ridiculous, but I admit I thought that way of life sounded kind of cool just now. You seemed every bit the true, freedom-loving Axis follower.”

“Thanks! I think your volatile way of life is pretty cool, too!”

I wish you wouldn’t call it “volatile.”

Then, as Cecily stroked my head…

“I’ll listen if you have any worries, you know? I’m the adviser, remember?”

Per usual, she made an unexpected show of insight. Right, the problem I’d been worried about recently was…

“I didn’t get a clear answer before, but you have someone you like, right, Megumin?”

Wondering how I was going to make a raid succeed with this group of second-stringers, I said, “N-n-no, what are you saying?! I’m worried about how to do a raid with these members, not something like that!”

My ears turned red at Cecily’s truly unnecessary insight.

Smiling at me with such a tender expression, she somehow looked like a legit clergywoman.

This person showed an unexpected side of herself sometimes—quite unfairly, I think.

“You’ll hate me if I tease you any more, so I guess I’ll pretend to believe you! Right, first is the question of which noble to go after. Next is how to break in. Last is whether they’re really doing bad things and if it’ll cause a big incident if we do something dumb. In other words, the target should be a family that’s not obscure, has money, and is likely to be doing wicked deeds in secret.”

I see—I don’t care for being teased, but that was an unusually useful opinion.

“Though, actually, I’ve had my eye on a place since I first heard your plan.”

“What’s going on, Cecily? You’re so dependable today.”

Seriously, what had happened to this person? Like that true-blue pervert Zesta, sometimes Axis followers displayed some amazing abilities. Feeling hopeful, I waited to hear who she’d had her eye on…

“Did you know the Dustiness family has a home in this town?”

“……”

As I was at a loss for words, for some reason, Cecily got even more excited.

“The bigger the target is, the better. In that respect, the Dustiness family is more than qualified. Next is whether they have money, and that family is made up of big-shot nobles who contend for first or second place in this country. There’s no way they’re poor.”

They weren’t exactly broke, but as far as nobles went, they weren’t superrich, either.

“Best of all, their whole clan is supposedly made up of zealous Eris followers! As a family steeped in such wickedness, they must be up to something shady!”

“Sorry, let us not go with them. Rather, please spare me the trouble.”

I was humiliated to have listened to this priestess so earnestly.

“If you say so, I guess that’s that… Well then, I have a second candidate I was thinking of. Why don’t we look into that for now?”

3

“The Belheim family? …Nah, I think they’d be too hard for beginners. I haven’t heard any bad rumors about them yet, and they also have tight security. I wouldn’t recommend hitting them.”

I swung by the Adventurers Guild sometime in the afternoon and grabbed Chris, who was hanging around, bored. I asked her about the noble family Cecily had mentioned.

“If you cannot recommend it to beginners, that kind of sounds like you are used to breaking into the homes of nobles.”

“Pfft! Cough, cough…! Look, I’m a Thief-class adventurer, so even supposing I don’t actually break in anywhere, I can at least imagine what it’s like!” Chris said in a panic as she gloriously spewed the Crimson Beer that had been in her mouth.

I see. Maybe that’s like Explosion spell–casters and their habit of searching out big, hard, fun-to-destroy things.

The Thief wiped her mouth with a handkerchief. “I’ll go ahead and do some good research into the Belheim family, but a more small-time noble’s mansion would be better at first, you know? Families at the level where they’d be done for if their misdeeds got out often don’t make it public when they’re robbed.”

“Just asking, but that is only a guess, right? You have not ever actually broken in anywhere, have you…?”

“N-n-no? Come on, Megumin! I’d never cross such a dangerous line!”

So she said, but her eyes were shifting about like someone bad at lying.

She was restless, folding and then unfolding her handkerchief on the table suspiciously.

“…You’re an Eris follower, right, Chris? Can you swear to Lady Eris that you’ve never done anything so dangerous as breaking into a noble’s mansion alone?”

“Ummm… S-sure, I can swear that all day. I can, but… Not knowing how to respond like this is the strangest sensation…,” she said, swearing plainly.

While I thought it odd of her, I was relieved. Chris seemed to be a devout Eris follower, so she couldn’t have been faking it. I’d worried she’d been reckless, but it seemed my fear was unfounded.

“By the way, I have a question for you, Chris. What is the thing you want to do most—the wish you want more than anything?”

“Me?! A wish I want to come true… Hey, Megumin, you don’t actually know the truth about me, right? I’m more of a wish granter than a wish grantee, but…”

Once again, she’d said something strange. I’d thought this girl was the most levelheaded in my crew of bandits. Surprisingly, that seemed to maybe not be the case.

“Actually, Kazuma told me if I want to be a good manager, I need to make sure I understand the others. I guess you could say I want to know more about you.”

At that, the Thief gave me a long and curious stare.

“Huh, that’s an awfully grown-up thing for Kazuma to say. Anyway, a wish I want to come true or something I want to do? Hmm, I’m already doing what I want, so I guess there’s nothing at the moment.”

“You are doing what you want? That is exactly what Cecily said. Perhaps Axis and Eris followers aren’t that different?”

“Wait, give me another chance! I’ll give it a good think before I answer!” Chris furrowed her brow and started groaning, apparently unhappy to be seen as the same as someone from the Axis Church.

After considering for a moment, Chris bashfully said, “…I want to go shopping with female friends and buy lots of clothes. Trying some delicious parfaits at a trendy shop would be nice, too… I guess mundane stuff like that is what I’d like.”

Despite her tough appearance, she said something pretty girlie.

“Unlike that forever-alone Yunyun or Illis with her social standing, you could actually accomplish that. All I can imagine a well-informed bandit girl who lives as an adventurer doing is living it up, having tons of experiences.”

“O-ouch! I’ve never even been on a date!”

When I’d first met Chris, I’d thought she was a bold Thief to challenge Kazuma so suddenly, but maybe she had a surprisingly pure side.

I see. Kazuma was exactly right.

I’d been able to see sides of both Cecily and Chris that I hadn’t before.

Hmm, a date?

I felt like I hadn’t experienced a proper one-on-one date, either.

……

“Speaking of, it just occurred to me, but I have something else I want to ask.”

“What’s that? I’ve known Darkness a long time, and, well, plenty has happened with Aqua and me. Kazuma and I have a secret-sharing relationship, too, but you’re the one person in your party I’ve not had many dealings with. Sure, ask away,” she said cheerfully, swirling her mug around.

“What is your relationship with Kazuma?”

“…Friend, I guess.”

I leaned in toward Chris, who refused to meet my gaze.

“For friends, I feel like you’ve been quite chummy with him recently. You said you haven’t had many dealings with me, but I don’t think you’ve had many with Kazuma, either.”

“W-well, we’ve had plenty, like, you know, teaching my Thief skills to him! But he’s really just a friend! Seriously, I don’t have any special feelings for that guy, okay?”

Her desperate explanation was suspicious, and I was really curious about their secret-sharing relationship.

“I pretty much used to be Kazuma’s only female acquaintance, but it strikes me that he recently started getting strangely popular. It would be well enough if you had been together a long time, but I will not let some unknown yokel snatch him away.”

Chris, who’d been listening quietly, blushed just a bit and looked at me teasingly, as if in payback for everything up till now.

“Huh. Speaking of, Megumin, I heard you’re getting along pretty well with Kazuma recently. Tell me, tell me, do you like him? I wanna hear how serious you are.”

“I like Kazuma. As far as how serious I am…deadly.”

Hearing that, Chris blushed even more and flinched.

“At first, I just thought he was a quirky oddball, but that changed over time. I realized he is a good, caring person. Then my feelings changed again, and he became someone I could feel at ease with. I guess you could say by the time I realized it, I liked him. At this point, I think of him about as much as I think of Explosion in any given day.”

“I—I—I—I see! You’re oddly manly, Megumin. I thought you’d be like, I guess, more unsure or embarrassed. You came at me so directly, I’m not sure how to react…”

Suddenly, it seemed like there was respect in Chris’s eyes.

“And so I would like to squash any potential threats before it is too late. You really are just friends with Kazuma, right?”

“Just friends, honest! Don’t make your eyes glow so red! Um, well then, I’ll go look into the Belheims!”

At that, Chris flew out of the Guild in a panic, terrified of some unknown threat. I left the Adventurers Guild behind as well and set off for my next destination.

Surely, Yunyun must have brought that girl over by now.

4

“Th-this is so cute! Look, that one over there, too!”

“Yes, I’ve never been in a store like this; everything looks so interesting… By the way, Yunyun, don’t we need to go to the hideout?”

At a main street accessory shop that was popular with girls, two people I knew well were loafing around inside.

“Don’t worry. By now everyone’s lazing about eating snacks. Megumin’s getting mad at Cecily’s sexual harassment while Chris says Oh well with a wry smile… That kind of sounds fun in its own way…”

“Well, why don’t we get going, too? Shopping is fun, but I bet the boss would scold us if she knew what we were doing.”

At Iris’s comment, Yunyun twitched ever so slightly.

“T-true. Not that Megumin’s scary or anything, but staying too long and making them wait would be, you know. Well, then…”

“Hey, that is quite the thing to say while you drag a younger girl around and seize the chance to fulfill your secret wishes.”

Yunyun shuddered, startled at my words from behind.

She nervously turned around to face me…

“…I swear. No matter how lacking you are in friends, what are you thinking making Illis go along with you? She does not know any better, Yunyun. When I set the meeting time and trusted you to follow it, I did so because it saved on using Explosion, and this is what I get on the first day?”

“…Sorry.”

En route to the hideout.

Yunyun, red to the tips of her ears, followed along with her face buried in her hands.

“I’m sure you’ve always wanted to go shopping with a girl your age, but why did I even send you to go meet Illis in the first place? If you want to go to the store that badly, I’ll go with you next time, so please try not to do such dumb things.”

Hearing that, Yunyun’s expression changed to one of both surprise and hope. “R-really? You’ll really go with me? My list of stores I want to visit when I get a friend someday is almost enough for three notebooks already…”

“That is too many! At least narrow it down to only a few! Anyway, I have something I want to ask you two.” I tossed them the same question I had asked the other members of my crew.

“What I want to do? Um, why are you asking that all of a sudden, Megumin? I can tell you, but there probably isn’t enough time in a day to list all the things I wanna do…”

“Like I said, too many! Surely you have something you really hope for, a wish you want to come true more than anything!”

At that, Yunyun’s eyes flickered up to me, away, then back again. “In that case, I guess I finally want a showdown with you, Megumin,” she said in a low, timid voice.

“We’ve already had our fateful duel. In level, reputation, and as women.”

“Wait a minute, you. Setting aside level and how many of the Demon King’s generals we’ve defeated, I’m not convinced about the ‘as women’ part!”

Eyes glowing red, Yunyun crossed her arms and stuck out her chest, as if to show it off.

…Why, you little—

“I am not talking about bodily development. When you cannot even snag a guy with such a hot body for your age, trying to vie with me is rather cheeky.”

“Don’t think you’ve won just because you’re getting along okay with Kazuma! I could if I wanted to…! I-if I wanted to…”

As Yunyun’s voice got lower and lower, I stuck out my own chest triumphantly.

“Look, you don’t have a single male friend, right? Ahhh, was that blond punk the other day your friend? He is perfect for you, is he not? I hope you are happy together!”

“I won’t let that slide even as a joke; that’s the one man I could never be with! Fine, I’ll show when you’ve crossed the line! I’m going to settle this here and now!”

Yunyun, eyes emitting red light, drew her wand from her waist.

“Wh-what, you want to do this? Fine, bring it on! Actually, I was secretly annoyed back when you pressured Kazuma to have babies with you! I’ll show you here and now that you can’t go seducing someone’s man!”

“S-stop it! That was an accident that came of assumptions and misunderstandings, so forget about it already!”

I internally recorded another victory as Yunyun lowered her wand and yelled in embarrassment.

“How many people have made advances on Kazuma?!” Iris asked. “He stripped off Chris’s underwear in public, and I hear he did something indecent to Lalatina. Now b-baby-making with Yunyun…?!”

“Stop iiit! That’s not true; I don’t have any such feelings for Kazuma! A-a-anyway, I wanna hear about your wish, Illis! Look, Megumin does, too, right?!”

Iris blushed as Yunyun desperately tried to change the topic.

“I—I, well…”

…These people.

“I—I want to…with Kazuma…!”

“I will not let you say any more! What is it with you people? Are all of you lovesick? Is that normal for girls of this generation?!”

5

A most unusual spectacle greeted my eyes when I returned to the hideout with the two girls suffering from heartache.

“For an Eris follower, you have quite an eye. That’s right; Lady Aqua is sublime. And she is very lovely.”

“Yeah, well, I don’t think she’s a bad person. Sure.”

Cecily was giving some kind of sermon to Chris, who sat holding her knees on the carpet.

Evidently, the priestess was explaining about Aqua’s virtues.

“Welcome back, Megumin. I was just trying to convert Chris to be an Axis follower.”

“Huh?! Wait a minute! I’m pretty sure I’m not gonna convert!”

Although she’d been listening to the speech, Chris seemed surprised to hear something so unexpected.

“What are you talking about? Then let me ask: What do you think about devils and the undead?”

“Obviously, I think they should go to Hell.”

Cecily smiled broadly at Chris’s confident, immediate answer.

“That’s wonderful! Chris, you do have what it takes to be an Axis follower after all! Yes, just as Lady Aqua decreed: We shall kill devils, strike down the Demon King, and return the undead to the dirt! So? How about it? Why don’t you join the Axis Church, too…?!”

“The Eris Church does also teach that devils and the undead are to be abhorred, you know?! I never thought the day would come when I would be invited to join the Axis Church. Why do I keep falling into such weird situations recently?!”

I had thought that, being Axis and Eris followers, they’d get into a fight, but luckily, the two of them seemed to be on surprisingly good terms.

Beckoning for the two followers of opposing faiths to come over, I proceeded to discuss my plans with everyone.

I was standing in front of a table, so I thrust both hands onto it and clambered on top.

“Well then, everyone, thank you for coming. Our thief gang has acquired a hideout, earned supporters, and procured a regular source of income. As for personnel, we are currently swamped with applicants. This is certainly a most delightful situation.”

“Yeah. We’re getting together more often, too, so we’re very much on track,” Yunyun said, nodding at my words.

“Yes, right now things are going smoothly. With everything taking shape, I have decided we should finally get to work for real.”

At that, Iris cocked her head.

“‘Work’? What exactly are we doing today? The other day, we went to the mountain to pick leaves, and before that we went to the river to fish, but I didn’t have any box lunches made today. If we’re to go out, how about tomorrow?”

“Who said we are going to hang out?! Now, admittedly, it was feeling like I don’t know what kind of group this is anymore, but please do not lose sight of our original goal. Think back. Why did we get together in the first place?”

At my words, each of them opened their mouths one after another.

“I thought it was to make friends…”

“I thought it was to go on adventures…”

“I was enticed because I wanted cute, pretty little girls to surround and fawn over me.”

“Huh?! This is a bit different from what I heard!”

I pounded the table with a wham-wham. They’d all completely forgotten our real reason for forming this crew.

“No! I tended to get off track here and there, too, but our original goal was to support the Silver-Haired Thief Brigade’s actions and to try to assist them! Raids! We must raid crooked nobles and make them know our name! And so, Chris, please tell us the results of your investigation!”

“They’re clean. They don’t seem to be doing anything particularly bad, so I don’t think we should make them the target. Or, rather, why did you decide on them in the first place?”

At Chris’s report, Cecily said glumly, “When I went to them begging for donations to the Axis Church, they told me, ‘We have our own religion.’ They said, ‘We don’t want anything to do with shady groups like the Eris or Axis Church.’”

At that, Chris suddenly flew into a rage.

“We need to hit them! Heathens calling us shady need to be taught a lesson!”

“Let’s do it; let’s do it! You get it, Chris. I knew you were a true Axis devotee underneath that Eris guise! How about it, Megumin?”

Though they got excited, I said, “It’s not okay at all. We must not raid them if they are not doing anything wrong—let us choose another family. Lady Aqua and Lady Eris would not forgive it.”

“She would forgive it; Lady Eris would sooo forgive it!”

“I’m sure Lady Aqua would overlook it, too! In fact, you’d most definitely hear a divine voice that bids you, Raid away!”

What am I going to do with these two weirdos?

Chris really shocked me. I had thought she was more levelheaded than that.

I really felt the importance of actually getting to know your companions, as Kazuma had said.

“Oh, I think I understand now. So we’re going to stand up for justice at last! Then let’s do this: There’s actually something called a ‘list of nobles’ whom the royal family has their eyes on. Let’s go ahead and raid the mansion of a noble on that list, and if nothing turns up, then we’ll have my father apologize…”

“You must stay a good girl! You cannot bring your father into this!”

As I was calling out Iris for offering an even more extreme suggestion, Yunyun gave a few tugs on my cape.

“Can’t we just be happy we have a group that meets up for fun every day? Look, like these snacks Illis’s maid made for us. They’re delicious; you try some, too, Megumin… Wai— Aaaahhh!”

I tossed all the snacks Yunyun offered me into my mouth, and when I finished devouring them…

“Oh well, no matter how much we want to raid, we cannot do anything without a target. Let us watch and wait for a while.”

After all, I’d resolved not to cause a ruckus by myself as I usually did. This time, I had to be responsible because I was the boss.

“Who said you could eat my portion, tooooo?!”

I was deep in contemplation as Yunyun shook me back and forth.

6

“…I’m home!”

“Welcome home. You look a bit tired.”

In the end, time flew by and we never came to an actual decision.

Chris had offered to find another noble who it’d be okay to steal from, so we’d packed it in for the day, but…

“Ah, I was just thinking how hard it is to understand and manage people. Between one woman teasing me, someone I thought was levelheaded being surprisingly over-the-top, getting into fights with a self-proclaimed rival, and realizing that a little girl is still after you, I am pretty worn out.”

Usually, I was the one unleashing mayhem, so I hadn’t thought it would be this tiring being the one trying to stop it.

“I’m not sure what all that’s about, but it seems tough. Hopefully it helps you realize what I have to go through.”

Tossing myself onto the sofa next to where Kazuma was relaxing, I gazed up at him.

“Oh, what’s this? Staring at me like the girl adventurers in the Guild do these days? Have you finally noticed how charming I am?” He spoke with sarcastically furrowed brow and flared nostrils, like he was trying to look cool.

Maybe I wasn’t one to talk, but why was Iris attracted to this guy?

“You sure have been popular with the girls at the Adventurers Guild recently. They were calling you Easy-ma, since they only had to butter you up a little to get you to buy them drinks.”

“Remember their faces. I’ll use Steal on them next time we meet.”

Gnashing his teeth, Kazuma had no problem making creepy remarks about other women, even with me right next to him.

Why was I into this guy?

I recalled the exchange I’d had with my grunts earlier that day.

Though I’d said Iris and Yunyun were lovesick, if I could somehow forgive this fickle boy, could it be that I was the one who was blinded by love?

Kazuma was habitually lazy, bad-mouthed others despite being a wimp, and bragged about his accomplishments at the Adventurers Guild without a shred of humility.

He had average looks, and personality-wise, he was a coward who was neither fantastically good nor bad.

“…Hey, really now, what’s going on? I can’t help getting a bit embarrassed when you’re staring at me so hard. What? Do you like me?”

Also, despite being a total perv, he got flustered when I looked at him like this.

And just by showing a little interest…

“I do. I myself was seriously wondering why I like you so much.”

“Huh?!”

You see, this was how he acted.

“H-how many times have I told you not to say such things so flippantly and out of the blue like that? I gotta be prepared first. From now on, give me advance notice with a letter or something. I need a month, a day, and what time you’re planning on saying something like that.”

“What kind of mood-killing confession would that be? I just always say what I want to. It is like you told me yesterday, right? That I should try to understand others? I was trying to understand you just now, Kazuma.”

He fidgeted as I said that while looking straight into his eyes.

I couldn’t help smiling as I watched him. “You’re able to give me good directions because you understand me, right? Do you know what I’m thinking right now? Do you know what I want to do with you, alone, together like this?”

“…Se—”

Hey.

“No, wait, what I said just now doesn’t count!”

“Uh-uh, let us hear what you were going to say while the mood was so nice, in front of a young girl!”

Seeing Kazuma, who held his tongue in a fluster when he saw the color of my eyes, I felt sort of weird for having gotten so caught up in my head.

Raiding with a perfectly prepared plan wasn’t like me.

Managing everyone and stopping them, thinking about what was to come… None of this was like me at all.

I always just gave it my all.

What on earth had I been worrying about?

“No, Megumin, I don’t think that sort of questioning is fair. Like, if you gave me three choices, I’d definitely know the answer. Give me another chance.”

I’d feel guilty always relying on him, but if things got too hairy for me to handle on my own, this guy would help me if I asked him to.

Kazuma was still babbling about something stupid. I just said, “No, it’s fine.”

I smiled to show I wasn’t mad anymore.

…However…

“Wait. I said I’m sorry; forgive me! I’ll think about it again, seriously this time! …Of course! That would’ve been taking things too quickly. First, maybe a kiss…”

“I told you it’s fine! Anyway, lower your voice! Aqua and Darkness are in the kitchen; if they see us like this…!”

No sooner had I said that than…

…I realized Kazuma wasn’t looking at me.

“Oh nononono…”

What Kazuma was looking at was a figure poking her head out from the hallway, grasping a rag with both hands as if she’d come to wipe the table—Aqua.

She backed up as she stared with a look of horror…

“Hey, Darkness, this is bad! Kazuma and Megumin are sitting close to each other, red-faced and talking about kissing or something!”

I stopped Aqua in a panic as she tried to go snitch.

7

The next day.

We’d all gathered together in the hideout. I whirled my mantle in front of my minions.

“I am fired up today! And with this good weather, it is a fine day for a B and E!”

Striking a cool pose, I took my favorite staff in hand.

“Hey, just asking, but we’re sneaking into a mansion to steal from a crooked noble, right? What’s a B and E? I’m not sure what that means, but it somehow sounds dangerous…,” Yunyun said, looking worried.

“It is exactly what it sounds like. I learned it from Kazuma; he said it was a term you use during a raid or whatever. Why don’t we go to the noble’s mansion for now, and we can wing it the rest of the way?”

“Hey, we’re a thief gang, right? We’re a group of thieves, not robbers, right?!”

I thought it best to ignore Yunyun, who had grabbed me by the shoulders. Instead, I turned to Chris. “Well, did you find a target worth hitting, like you were saying yesterday?”

“Y-yeah, more or less. Not to sound like Yunyun, but we’re going in to steal, right? We aren’t mugging them, right?”

Shaking a bit, Chris took out a map outlining the town of Axel. The girl pointed a finger at a forest outside of town.

“Um, actually, a certain rich person has their second home nearby. Something strange is definitely going on around there.”

According to Chris, there had been eyewitness accounts of monsters near that house that were stronger than anything found near Axel.

“Is that not the jurisdiction of the Adventurers Guild? I heard recently that Axel’s adventurers are not working at all because they made a small fortune from hunting the stronger monsters over and over for their rewards. Maybe that caused a migration of stronger monsters that prey on weaker ones?”

At that, Chris shook her head with a conflicted look.

“That might be true, but it might not. There could be a Sacred Treasure that’s being used at that house.”

That Sacred Treasure was a supposedly powerful item that could summon random monsters and bind them into service.

If that was true, such a name would certainly be an apt one, but…

“Could a noble I have never even heard of really get their hands on such an amazing thing? I would not be surprised if it went for a ridiculous price.”

“Well, you see, actually, that artifact was sealed away—sunk to the bottom of a lake where a wicked and powerful bounty monster slept—so that no one could ever find it.”

A wicked and powerful bounty monster.

…Suddenly, I recalled something like that had been vanquished in a lake near Axel recently.

“Yes, the Kowloon Hydra. It absorbed the magical power of the land, polluting even the trees. Apparently, they sealed the artifact there, thinking no one would ever come close to a place like that, but… The vegetation around the lake returned much sooner than expected, and people started to visit. Then the person who had sealed the artifact away tried dredging it up from the bottom of the lake to move it somewhere safer, but…”

“I see. Someone else had already stolen it.”

The eyewitness info about powerful monsters appearing only added to the validity of the story. Actually, when I thought about it, it was odd someone would build a mansion there, rather than inside a walled town.

Supposedly, they were summoning monsters at random, too, so when any appeared that they didn’t like, maybe they were chucking them into the forest.

“Also, about that artifact… For some reason, it seems to find its way into the hands of nasty, wealthy people a lot—its former owner was a middle-aged lord named Alderp.”

Ah, that man who was always obsessed with Darkness and went missing.

“As royalty, I cannot allow such a dangerous item to be out there. Let’s go there for sure, boss!”

“Hey, Illis, did you just say you were royalty?”

“No, I didn’t.” Iris backed away slowly from Yunyun’s serious expression.

Then Cecily, who had been sitting quietly on the sofa sipping tea, said, “I could use something like that…that Sacred Treasure thing. I would summon a monster and, after making it rampage about, Axis followers would join by the hundreds. Yes, I bet recruitment numbers would double just like that!”

Huh, I guess there are ways to abuse it.

It seemed more and more like an item we had to do something about. Although, wasn’t this going to be a pretty risky venture? It seemed too momentous, like something we couldn’t handle ourselves—it already felt like a bad sign.

Still…

“I am certain recovering dangerous divine artifacts was one of the Silver-Haired Thief Brigade’s goals. Let us try hitting that house!”

…It was a smallish mansion, visibly spotless, as if it had only just been built.

As apparent anti-monster defenses, the outside of the mansion was surrounded by a sturdy iron fence. Within, numerous traps had been laid, as well.

Sure, that was good and all, but…

“Well, this place sure is a sight.”

“Hey, this is not the time for that kind of talk! We have to help right away!”

The noble mansion that we had been planning to raid was at that very moment getting attacked by a bunch of monsters.

“Oh no, maybe they summoned some monsters they couldn’t control! Even then, it would be strange for the monster swarm to be attacking.”

As Chris calmly observed the situation next to me, Iris drew her sword.

“Either way, shouldn’t we go rescue them? This has to be too much for their guards alone…” The princess turned to me for direction.

I looked over the scene; guards were fighting back from behind the fence, using spears and bows.

However…

“No, I have an idea. We should let them be!” Cecily suddenly blurted out.

“True. As a thief gang, checking things out a bit is the right answer. After all, if they really have the Sacred Treasure, they’ll probably bring it out to try to control the monsters.”

Even Chris was on board.

“Great minds think alike, even if you are an Eris follower! Yes, we shouldn’t interfere until the last moment, and once they’re in real trouble, we’ll help them as patronizingly as possible! At that point, there’ll be fewer monsters, making it easier to rescue them, too!”

“No, that’s not why I said it! I just meant that to do this like true bandits, we should check if the thing we’re after is even here or not…!”

Sure, sure. Cecily nodded at a flustered Chris. “Then in return for our help, we demand that powerful item we searched for, right? Always crafty, you Eris followers! I can’t say I mind that sort of thing, though!”

“N-n-n-no—! I never said we should wait that late to help…!”

I could understand what Chris was saying. Indeed, if they really had this Sacred Treasure thing, they’d use it if they got into trouble.

We could save ourselves the risky business of sneaking deep into the mansion to find its location if we just waited it out.

“I did not think you were such a cruel person, Chris, but, well, it is not a bad idea.”

“You too, Megumin?! No, listen here, both of you!”

It was at that moment when…

“I told you—let’s not live in a place like this!”

“It’s too late for that; that young lady always gets her way!”

Hearing the voices of guards from the other side of the fence, Yunyun and Iris gave me a worried look.

“Where is she?! We have to at least make sure she gets out safe…”

“I haven’t seen her! We’ve got to stay to make sure.”

Having heard the plight, I turned to my crew. “If we go up against that many monsters, even we might not get out unscathed.”

“Megumin…,” Yunyun muttered softly at my hushed statement.

Not responding to her, I kept my eyes on the creatures assailing the manor and continued quietly. “Also, I am the boss of this thief gang, so I have a responsibility to try to keep everyone out of danger. You are an intelligent Crimson Magic Clan member yourself, so I’m sure you can see that leaving them alone to see what happens is the wise option.”

Seeming to understand that, Yunyun shut up, looking dejected. Iris, sword drawn as she stood at my side, looked back and forth between me and the mansion. Turning my back on the two of them, I took a step forward.

“For me, however, being an adventurer comes before being the boss of a bandit crew. Since I intend to eventually defeat the Demon King, I cannot simply watch and wait while there are monsters in front of me,” I declared, taking up a stance with my staff. Someone let out a quiet laugh from behind me.

“Huh. Being an adventurer is more up your alley than being in a thief gang.”

Chris’s words didn’t sound like praise, yet she seemed somehow pleased. Listening to her giggles, I began to chant. I’d wanted to be like those people I admired so much, but oh well.

I could never stand by with monsters right in front of me.

“Megumin, let me handle any monsters you miss. I’ll pick them all off!”

As I chanted, Yunyun gleefully took a stance behind me on my right side, her wand readied.

It was bold of her to assume that there would be anything left after I was done.

“When you cast the spell, some of them are sure to come this way. Let me handle the ones that do! Today, I am your shield, boss!”

I felt like this girl was the one most worthy of protecting. Oblivious to such things, Iris stood behind me on my left, sword held in her hands.

“Then I will help you from the back! I’ll heal you nice and slow if you get hurt, so make sure you let me know!”

Everyone smiled unconsciously at Cecily, a woman who was unwavering, even in this situation.

Chris drew her dagger to cover me.

“Well then, I guess I’ll get serious, too. I’ll show you what a Thief can do. All right, Megumin, let’s do this!”

Maybe we could come together as a thief gang a little later—yes, like after the Demon King was defeated and peace had returned.

“Look, I’ll let you do the honors, so go all out, boss,” Yunyun urged provocatively.

In response…

“Explooosion—!!”

I unleashed my spell with all my might…!

8

After my mana recovered enough for me to walk, I plodded back home to the mansion.

“Welcome home! Listen to this, Megumin! We’re having speckled crab for the first time in a while! Reminds you of when we first moved here, doesn’t it?!”

Aqua welcomed me back with a big smile as she made the pincers of the crab in her hands go snip-snip.

“Well, that is a treat. I never thought I would get to eat speckled crab again in my life.”

Dragging my languid, mana-deficient body along, I collapsed onto the sofa.

“You seem even more exhausted than usual today. I heard the boom all the way from here, but it felt a bit different. I didn’t see it with my eyes, but I’ll give today’s Explosion ninety-five points,” Kazuma said excitedly from where he was seated at the table.

“Speaking of, Megumin, you look kind of pleased. Did something good happen?” Darkness asked with a kind face as she placed a boiling pot on the table.

“Well, today it became very clear what I want to do more than anything. That must be the reason.”

“There’s something you wanna do besides cast Explosion?”

Kazuma put a damper on my enthusiasm with an unnecessary interruption.

I wish he’d finally stop thinking of me as just an Explosion girl.

All I did today was take everyone to the noble’s mansion and cast Explosion to help the people there, as monsters attacked them for some reason…

“…Wait, was casting Explosion all I did today?”

“What’s up with you all of a sudden? Anyway, isn’t it a little late to be asking that? All you ever do is use that spell, right? If you took away that spell, the only thing that’d be left is the loli part of you.”

I looked Kazuma up and down. He was pouring booze into a glass with a glug-glug. This man had just called me something disgusting.

“Then you are a loli-lover for coming on to me every now and then. I’ll let everyone at the Adventurers Guild know about Loli-ma.”

“C-cut it out—don’t take me down with you. You’ll be officially known as a loli yourself.”

Ignoring us, Aqua wasted no time putting the crabs on the grill.

“Sheesh, what are the two of you thinking, arguing with amazing food in front of you? Can’t you live like me, calm and relaxed?”

“Didn’t you just cry when you stubbed your toe on the sofa, after you jumped around all thrilled about getting seafood from Darkness’s dad?”

I was about to wash up for dinner when Darkness came to lend a hand after she put the pot on the table.

“I don’t know what happened, but you seem especially perky. Why don’t you tell me what you did today while we eat? Seems like you’ve been having a lot of fun recently, Megumin,” the blond woman said with a laugh.

…In the end, the noble we’d helped had been, in a word, awful.

After we’d eradicated the monsters, a young lady of the house had appeared. She was about our age and had apparently fled from the mansion by herself.

She’d promptly told us she hadn’t even asked for our help, despite us not asking for thanks.

If I hadn’t been completely dry on mana and unable to move, I probably would’ve found myself assaulting her.

Why was that place being attacked to begin with?

Chris had said we’d have the answers sooner or later, even if we were left with questions now, as the Silver-Haired Thief Brigade also had their eye on that noble’s residence.

I’d been curious as to how Chris could’ve possibly known that. Probably through some sort of bandit information network.

“Well said, Darkness. Actually, I’ve been wondering what Megumin’s been getting into, as well—probably up to some nonsense again.” Kazuma spoke without taking his eyes off the sizzling crabs.

“I know,” Aqua said. “I heard from Cecily. She said she’d thought up some way of earning easy money by using pretty little girls.”

Kazuma and Darkness gave me a look that said they couldn’t believe I’d been roped into something that sketchy.

“Do not worry—I will tell you all what I was doing. It wasn’t anything unsavory… I mean it, okay?! You don’t have to look at me like that!”

After I gave a flustered explanation for myself, I recalled the day’s events. The result had been lame and a bit frustrating, but I couldn’t help but feel it was all good as long as the heroic thieves I admired so deeply took care of things for us.

If things went as I hoped…

“Everything started on the night of the fireworks show. I escaped the clutches of the police, and as I was heading back to the mansion alone…”

If only I could meet those people I look up to, even just one more time…