Bonus Short Stories

Do Dungeon Cores Dream of Golem Sheep?

I am one of those who rule the dungeons humans brave... A Dungeon Master. My greatest skill is sleeping. My life’s work is sleeping. The most important thing in my life is my sleeping time. Even after becoming a Dungeon Master, I sleep at every opportunity given to me.

“I’m impressed you can sleep so much and not get tired of it.”

“The whole point of sleeping is to not be tired. If you ask me, it’s pretty friggin’ weird that you aren’t getting tired of not sleeping.”

This blonde loli is Rokuko, the avatar of my dungeon’s Core. I don’t know how, exactly, but she doesn’t need any sleep at all. Human or not, that just blows my mind.

“Oh, wait. Now that you’re a Dungeon Master, Keima, you might not actually need to sleep anymore.”

“Maybe, but I’ll keep sleeping no matter what the truth is. No matter what!”

Man, this girl sure says some bizarre things. Doesn’t she know that the three greatest desires of humanity are sleep, naps, and snoozes? Wait, whoops. They’re actually sleep, hunger, and lust. Speaking of which, Rokuko doesn’t actually need to eat anything to survive... Yeah, you know what? It doesn’t make any sense for my partner to not understand the glory of snoozing. She gives me a “he’s gonna waste his time doing that again?” look every time I get into bed, and honestly, that makes me feel a little depressed. Alright. Time to shill how nice sleeping is.

“Wh-What?”

“Rokuko... You’re wasting half... no, both halves of your life.”

“Wait, what?! Both halves are just my whole life. Explain yourself.”

“Alright, listen up. Sleep is a splendid gift given to us by the heavens, and... uh... Sorry. I was trying to think of something clever to say but couldn’t. Meh. I’m going back to bed.”

“Don’t give up that fast! I’m worried about wasting my life now!”

Tch. Fine.

“Look, just try out sleeping for yourself. You’ll definitely understand once you do. Don’t think, just sleep.”

“B-But where...? On the floor?”

“...Of course, I couldn’t ask a sleep beginner to start off on the floor. Alright, fine. I’ll lend you my futon.”

I just woke up, so it’s no problem. I can live without my futon for a bit.

“...It stinks.”

“.........{Purification}.”

My {Purification} spell envelops the futon in a bright bubble-like light and cleans it in a second. I’ve used this spell a thousand times, but it never stops being useful. I wonder if this spell put cleaners out of a job in this world. Ah... Using magic kinda tired me out. Time to sleep.

“Well, g’night.”

“Hold on, hold on. Why are you getting into the futon, Keima? Weren’t you going to lend it to me?”

“Using magic really tired me out, so I’m gonna sleep for a bit. It’ll be fine, you don’t actually need to sleep.”

“...Well, okay, I guess...”

Hey, don’t give me that look. I know what I said. The situation just changed, that’s all.

“...I mean, you can get in the futon with me if you really want to.”

“Um, no thanks. I don’t want a bunch of bandits to destroy the Dungeon Core while I’m asleep, so I’m just going to stay awake.”

“Alright. Well, I’m gonna be sleeping, so wake me up if something happens.”

And so, I left the dungeon monitoring to Rokuko so I could sleep. Zzz...

Wait, crap. I ended up falling asleep, but now that I’m awake again and have given it a second thought, there definitely is a problem with my partner not understanding how glorious sleep is.

“Oh, good morning. Do you have any plans for today?”

“Yep. Today for sure, I’m gonna make you understand how good sleep really is.”

“...Then you’re actually going to lend me your futon this time?”

“Yep. You bet. {Purification}.” Crap...! I used magic again and now I’m sleepy again! How did I not see this coming?! Though, I don’t feel as sleepy as I did last time. I bet spells get easier to cast the more you use them.

“Keima... Your pillow smells like sweat.”

“O-Oh yeah? Dang, I should’ve put it on top of the futon beforehand so it could get cleaned too. {Purification}.”

Ngh, twice in a row... I really wanna sleep now.

“Go ahead, sleep. I’ll stay awake and keep an eye out for any bandits.”

“O-Okay...”

Alright, she’s in the futon now. Everything’s going perfectly. All I have to do now is stay awake.

“Um, Keima?”

“Huh? What’s up? Don’t worry about me, just sleep.”

“No, I mean... How do you even sleep?”

Wait, what? She doesn’t know that?

“You just gotta close your eyes and keep laying down. You’ll also want to avoid thinking too hard about anything.”

“Okay, I’ll try that......... Um, Keima, this is kind of boring.”

“...Give it some time. You can’t fall asleep that quickly. Just keep quiet and keep laying down.”

“Okaaay...”

...Oh, looks like she’s sleeping now. Nice. I thought not needing sleep would mean she can’t sleep at all, but looks like that was wrong. Shouldn’t be long before she’s addicted to sleep just like I am. But wait... If she also starts sleeping all the time, won’t I have to do even more work? Crap. I think I’ve made a huge mistake.

“Sexual Fetish: Feet”

“I have a foot fetish. I say this with confidence and no shame whatsoever: I have a foot fetish!”

Naturally, Rokuko grimaced after hearing me say that. Well, I can’t really blame her for that. Anyone would react like that to someone shouting their fetish out of nowhere. But hey, consider my perspective. I woke up and there were Rokuko’s feet, right in front of me. I couldn’t help but shout what I did.

“...And to be as clear as possible, I will elaborate. I have a foot fetish, but I am a proud member of the sole faction!”

“Eh? What? I don’t know what the heck you mean by ‘sole faction’ or whatever.”

“Alright, I’ll explain. A foot fetish can generally refer to two things, with at least half of so-called foot fetishists actually having a leg fetish. Those with a leg fetish love thighs and the curves of a leg all the way down to the ankle, whereas true foot fetishists like ankles and anything that can fit inside of a shoe. True foot fetishists are split into even more factions, such as the ankle faction, the calf faction, the heel faction, the toes faction, and so on.”

“Stop stop stop stop! I don’t care about any of that! I didn’t ask you to teach me a single word of all that!” Tch, and I was just about to start my explanation on the sole faction. Well, whatever. In the end Rokuko’s not a human, but a human-type Dungeon Core. A practical machine like her surely would struggle to understand the deep aesthetic beauty that feet have. But at the same time, it’s undeniable that whether she realizes it or not, she’s a beautiful blonde loli with extremely high-level feet, among the best I’ve ever seen. That is just the simple, unwavering truth.

“In conclusion, would you mind wearing these over-the-knee socks? If you want to, I mean! I won’t force you!”

“Where did that conclusion come from?! Ummm, well... If it’s just wearing socks...”

“Thank you. I really appreciate this, Rokuko. By the way, over-the-knee socks are exactly what the name implies: socks long enough that they go over your knees. Right, and there’s also ankle-socks, but in my opinion those are filthy heretical pieces of trash that aren’t real socks at all, so keep that in mind.”

“Okay... I have no idea what you’re talking about, but I can tell that whatever you’re saying is pretty worthless.”

With that settled, she felt no need to ask any more questions. And so, Rokuko spread out the white socks I handed her and quickly thrust her bare feet into them without any hesitation.

“...Holy crap...! Don’t you have any shame?! Geez, I had no idea you were such a lewd girl.”

“What? Um, I just put on some socks. How does that make me lewd?”

“Alright, well, think about how you put on socks. You lift up your feet, right? Well, you lift up your legs. Right?”

“Eh? I don’t think it matters whether you say legs or feet, b-but yeah, I do.”

“So basically, since you lifted your legs up, I saw your Delta Zone. Ah, sorry, that probably wasn’t clear enough. I saw your panties.”

“Ah!” Rokuko instantly blushed bright red. “Wh-What are you talking about?! You know I’m a Dungeon Core, right?! I-I don’t care if you saw my p-p-p-panties! It’s not like that will kill me or anything!” Oh, nice. I like that kind of innocent reaction.

“I see, I see... Well, white is usually a symbol of purity, so I think they really suit you, Rokuko.”

“Ah?! Eh, wha... what the?! What are you talking about?!”

“Huh? The kneesocks. What else would I be talking about?”

“K-Keima, you idiooot! You massive super dummyyy!!!”

“GAH!” And so, Rokuko kicked me.

“...J-Just so you know, since I’m part of the sole faction, I’d be happier if you stepped on me instead... Please, try... again... gaaah...”

“W-Wait, Keima?! Keima, are you okay! I’m sorry...! Oh... He’s just sleeping. That really surprised me, holy cow...”

＊ ＊ ＊

“...He really does love feet, doesn’t he? I don’t really understand it, but I guess that’s just how humans are.” Rokuko peered at Keima’s face. He was sleeping peacefully, just like always. She concluded that her kick probably wouldn’t cause any lasting damage. She then tried to move Keima to the futon he always slept in, but concluded that it was too much effort considering how heavy he was.

“Oh, I have an idea. I remember my sister letting me use her lap as a pillow sometimes. I wonder if Keima would like that kind of thing too?” Rokuko sat next to Keima’s head and plopped it onto her thighs without thinking much of it. He had been talking about the difference between legs and feet earlier, but whatever. She convinced herself it was nothing major while rubbing Keima’s head, stroking his hair.

“...I owe a lot to you, so this is just a one time thing. I’ll let you use my legs as a pillow.”

If Keima had been awake, he would probably have lectured her on the fact that a lap pillow had nothing to do with feet. But right then, he was asleep. And when he did wake up, Rokuko’s legs had gone numb and she couldn’t move, but that’s another story.

Robots, Golems, and Slaves

(This short story may contain spoilers for Volume 1.)

Robots were very frustrating things and a total pain in the butt to deal with. In order to make robots in modern Japan move, you would need to program specific movement patterns into them. In other words, they couldn’t do anything other than what you programmed them to do. They could easily repeat simple motions in factories and whatnot, but it was an unfortunate fact that maid robots were light years away. If you wanted a human-shaped robot to move its right arm, for example, you either had to run a prepared motion program or you had to specifically tell the motor in its right shoulder how much energy it should put out, where to send it, and so on. If the robot didn’t move as desired, you either messed up your programming or the robot was just broken. Well, it might have run out of power or something, but you get the point.

In comparison, the Golems in this fantasy world were amazing. I have no idea how, but if you ordered them to move their right arm, they would just do it. Maybe they had a ton of broad, flexible motion programs already programmed into them. I had no idea. If you ordered them to “dig a hole over there,” they would dig it just like that. They would even listen to orders like “move at this speed until you reach this angle.” If you ordered them to “pick up trash,” they would decide on their own what exactly you meant by trash and pick up things in accordance to that. They were flexible, in other words, and could be effectively ordered around through a fully functional fuzzy control system. Plus, they were powered by some kind of mysterious magical power called “mana.” It filled the entire dungeon, though it was invisible to the naked eye. But either way, that mana meant Golems weren’t tied to power plugs or anything like that. They didn’t even need food.

To sum things up, Golems were perfect for doing work in place of humans. How spectacular. One of the most ideal end results of robotics was hiding within this fantasy world. (By the way, another ideal end result of robotics would be robots that could become friends with humans.)

“These Golems are absolutely amazing. They’re just the greatest.”

“Really? But they’re so dumb. They can’t adapt at all.”

Golems were beautiful creatures that would work silently in your place without a single complaint, and yet Rokuko showed no appreciation for them at all. These fantasy world people don’t know how good they have it.

“You’re a Dungeon Master. Why do you care so much about Golems? You could just order around any monster and they’ll do what you say. Like, even Goblins know how to follow orders.”

“I mean, yeah, but it feels different when the monsters are actually alive...”

Golems didn’t need any maintenance. You just summoned them, gave your orders, and that was that. Living creatures, on the other hand, needed food and shelter to survive. Get a lot of them in one place and you’d basically end up like an overworked farmer taking care of them. Reminder: I don’t wanna work.

“...You know monsters aren’t inanimate tools or anything, right? They can take care of themselves a lot of the time, really. They are monsters after all.”

Oooh, I never thought about it like that. I can always count on a Dungeon Core being absolutely merciless like that. Well, maybe it’s just the slave culture in this world making her think like that. I glanced at Niku, the slave that had recently become mine. She had dog ears. She was a dog-eared loli slave. Yep. Can’t have a fantasy world without characters like her. Isekai, hell yeah.

“Wh-What is it, Master?”

Niku still seemed a bit nervous, so I rubbed her head as gently as possible. She stiffened up and started trembling the moment my hand touched her. Her black hair had been pretty dirty back when I saved her, but thanks to how many times I had cast {Purification} on her, it was back to being completely clean and smooth to the touch. It felt so nice I just couldn’t help but rub her head. Oh, hold up. I’m still not a lolicon. Though I have nothing against loli feet.

“U-Um...”

“Hm? What’s up?”

“.........N-Nothing. Never mind, s-sorry.”

Yep, yep. Showing her love like this is the best thing to do. She’ll need to start working for me soon enough... but for now, letting her rest is what’s most important. Though the Golems will be taking care of most of the hard work. Golems really are handy... They don’t complain, they don’t need food, they’re easy to repair when they do get broken, and they work when I’m asleep. Oh, right, and I can make them with random stuff that’s just lying around, like wood and clay and stone. Robots would need a bunch of expensive parts like motors, frames, and so on. A human-sized robot especially would be stupid expensive. Probably like several million yen, minimum.

And... speaking of which, I remember some companies were developing power suits or whatever. I wonder if I could make one of those with Golems somehow? Ah, now I want to make a giant super robot Golem I can ride in. This is the first time in a while I’ve been excited for anything but sleep. Yeah... I think I’ll play around with {Create Golem} until I get sleepy.