Chapter 2

And so began another peaceful day in Goren. Adventurers-turned-farmers, the bulk of the populace, were putting their all into tending their fields.

“Man, my field is super great. Grow well, my beloved cucumbers.”

“Yeah, the crops are all sparkling with dew! Your flashes of skin really get me going, you cutie radishes!”

“I’m not surprised you’re drooling over some slutty skin showing. You could learn a lot from how modest my potatoes are.”

The farmers, having learned from one of the books in the Beddhist church that plants grew better if you talked to them, had grown accustomed to talking to their crops while farming. They all doubted that at first, but the plants were alive after all. If you considered how some monsters were walking, man-eating plants, it just made sense that pouring love into crops would make them grow better. That line of logic was all it took to convince them.

And indeed, the crops did start to taste better. They really had no option but to talk to their crops anymore.

As an aside, despite the fact that it was well into winter, the fields were nice and warm thanks to the effects of farming magic tools. A noble who had begun practicing Beddhism casually lent them at Goren’s request. He had been using similar ones in his garden. They were probably outrageously expensive, but due to agreeing with the pope’s position he lent them for cheap.

To give more details on them, a single one of the tools could keep three small fields warm for half a day using just a single Goblin’s garbage-quality magic stone. They could keep their fields warm just by working together to kill two Goblins a day... which killed two birds with one stone, since Goblin corpses were good fertilizer too.

“’Bout time for the harvest, huh?”

“Heheh, hear that, my little sweets? Kinue’s gonna make you into good food and the nuns are gonna eat you up. Man, I’m jeal— I mean, man, I’m happy for you all.”

“Hm? Hey, what’s that?” One of the farmers noticed something in the sky. At first it looked like a tiny dot, but it was growing steadily, as if it was heading straight for them.

Soon, the red scales covering its large body became visible. It had two featherless wings that looked like they belonged to a bat, yet its head was that of a reptile. The horn removed all doubt, however. It was a red Dragon.

“Ngh! A Dragon?! We gotta evacuate!”

“What?! Is it after my field?! Bastard, I’ll fight you off with the Holy Radish Blade I grew myself! One sec, just lemme pull it out!”

“You want cucumbers?! Three of them?! That’s too many!”

“Come on, am I the only sane one here?! This isn’t the time for games! We gotta run away!”

It was a red-colored Dragon of the fire element, and it was no normal Dragon. The rampaging flames wrapped around its body showed that it was a Flame Dragon, which was a Red Dragon even more in tune with the fire element.

Once the Dragon was close enough to be fully visible, it flapped its wings in the air. It then opened its mouth wide... and sucked in air.

“Oh shit! This is the first time I’m seeing a Dragon but it’s definitely about to breathe some fire! Watch out!”

“H-Hey, are you telling me to leave my radishes behind?! No way! I’m about to get them on, just hold it!”

“This isn’t a joke, it’s gonna kill us! You can just farm more radishes later! We gotta at least get the magic tool and... Oh, oh no! GAAAAAH!”

And so. Fire breath licked across the ground, destroying everything.

＊ ＊ ＊

“...And that summarizes the Dragon attack that left part of the town on fire.”

“How many dead?”

“Thankfully none. The silver lining of all this, I suppose...” said Wozma, concluding his report. I responded with a nod. Though honestly, I knew all of this from watching it happen on the map. I sure flipped the heck out when I saw it happening in real time. For a second I’d thought another insanely overpowered monster like Rin was here to cause chaos.

Luckily for me, the Dragon had continued on to the peak of Tsia Mountain without paying our dungeon any mind. Yep, just a casual Dragon fly-by. Totally normal in this fantasy hellscape. Hope Ittetsu can handle that Dragon... But wait, according to Rokuko, a Flame Dragon is pretty deep in the fire element. Ittetsu’s fire element too, so won’t it end up kinda like both of them playing “rock” in rock-paper-scissors over and over? I’ll ask about that later.

“Anyway. Farming in winter, huh? Do crops grow well like that? Or are there just some special crops that grow in winter?”

“It seems that the farmers were using a greenhouse magic tool lent to them by Archduke Bonodore. It luckily survived the fire.”

“A greenhouse magic tool? Those exist? And they were borrowing one?”

“It seems he was using it for a garden he had in the past that no longer exists.”

“Sounds convenient. Can we mass produce them?”

“It was found in a dungeon. And it does not affect a particularly wide area, so it wouldn’t be usable on the large-scale farms run by the Tsia family.”

“Makes sense.”

“So, what shall we do about the Dragon? It is believed to still be located around Tsia Mountain.”

“Huh? Uhhh, I’ll go check out the fields and look around. See if anyone knows something about the Dragon.” Oh, and it might be Redra’s family or some member of the Dragon King faction. I’ll ask about that later, too.

So yeah, I went to look at the burned field. Rokuko tagged along since she wanted to see the scorched ground. Along the way we discovered that there was a food stand for some reason, where the Silkies were selling buttered potatoes to people passing on the road. I bought one since Rokuko looked like she wanted one, and it was actually pretty good.

Anyway, Rokuko nodded after looking over the fields. “Hm. Seems like it wasn’t going all out.”

“Is that so, Rokuko?” asked Wozma. She gave a confident grin and puffed out her chest with pride before answering.

“Uh-huh. I can tell since I’m an expert on Dragons. It had red scales, which means it was a fire Dragon. If it had been serious the ground itself would have melted. By now it would have cooled and been smooth like glass. The fact that the ground’s still fine means it was just messing around.” Thinking back, when Redra used her full-power breath to hatch the Phoenix egg, the rock floor of the dungeon certainly had ended up looking like glass.

“I see. You truly are a scholar, Rokuko.”

“Yup! Aren’t you impressed, Keima?!” Rokuko looked at me with a smug expression, fishing for compliments. Why is it that I want to give her a nice chop? There’s just something punchable about her smug grin.

“Well, you’re probably not wrong. Looks like it just burned the top of the ground, and if we send some Golems over to plow it again the farmers can be back at work sowing seeds by the evening.”

“Oh? You seem well-informed on Dragons as well, Keima. Entirely as if you are a first-class adventurer.”

“...I memorized this stuff while listening to Rokuko prattle. That’s it.”

“Haha, forgive my rudeness.”

Would probably be better to keep quiet about the fact that I’m friends with a Red Dragon. Just add it to the list of dungeon secrets I can never tell anyone.

“By the way, why’s that guy crying like his whole family was killed?”

“One of these fields belongs to him. The radishes he poured his heart and soul into were all destroyed.”

“Cucumbers sure are nice, you managed to save a couple of them! And potatoes? Hey, they’re underground, the fire just cooked them to a tasty crisp! You got to dig them out and have a good meal! But me? I’ve got nothing anymore! I’ve lost it all!” Oh, that explains the buttered potato stands. Two farmers, the owners of the other damaged fields, were patting the shoulders of their weeping radish farmer friend.

“Hahaha, that’s why modest potatoes are so great. Long live potatoes!”

“By the way, I mixed my cucumbers into potato salad and made a killing off them. I’m already sold out!”

“Are you two demons?!”

Glad to see them doing so well.

“Besides, aren’t your radishes still edible? They’re underground vegetables just like my potatoes.”

“Yeah, but my plan to make the smooth white radishes wear kneesocks is completely ruiiined!”

“You, uh... wow. You really went in that deep, huh? I heard that all the radishes you had stored inside were burned too. That’s rough, buddy. Just cry it all out.”

...Glad to see them doing so well. These three are all former adventurers, so they don’t need to worry about going broke just because their farms were destroyed. Wozma asked the Guild to lend them some weapons and equipment, so yeah, it should be fine.

“Uhhh, well, I’m just glad nobody died.” And y’know, I remember these guys joking around like this even when the Dragon was coming right for them. The question is whether they’re idiots, brave, idiots, smart enough to have backup plans to survive Dragon fire, or idiots.

“Indeed. By the way, town chief, they are just idiots. A normal adventurer would either freeze in fear or flee immediately. They were saved only by the whim of the Dragon.” Wozma, reading my thoughts through my expression, confirmed my suspicions. Occam’s razor wins again.

“...Alright then. Oh, right, their homes got burned up too. Guess I’ll give them a discount on inn rooms while they’re being rebuilt.”

“Just a discount? Not free?”

“If I make it free, they won’t do any work,” I said, earning a hard look and a sigh from Wozma. Yeah, that’s right. I’m a hypocrite. What about it?

“I’m town chief, I don’t have to work. ’Cause I’m just a figurehead.” Anyway, I told the Silkies running the stand to call the buttered potatoes Dragon Potatoes to boost the price a bit. Might as well wring money out of people where we can.

“...Though in truth, you certainly do work a lot, town chief.”

“Hahaha. Ironic, isn’t it?” He was just joking around. At most I signed a few pieces of paperwork a day. The town administrators were keeping everything else going. Even in extraordinary circumstances like this I usually just showed up and looked things over for show. Yup, being a figurehead leader sure is great! Anyway, time to talk to the victims. Yet another important job for a politician.

“Cheer up, fellas. With the Golems helping out you’ll be back to farming in no time.”

“Town chief! I’ll... I’ll work hard and grow more radishes! This time for sure, I’ll get some kneesocks on them...!”

“R-Right on. That’s the spirit.” Somehow, they were already back on their feet. Then again, crops grew pretty fast here due to the dungeon’s overflowing mana.

“Do you have the seeds for that, though?”

“Oh, right, they were burned with my house... Guess the field will be empty for a bit...”

“Huh? That’d be a waste. Why don’t you try growing these?” I stuck my hand into the bag on my hip as a cover while stealthily pulling sugar beet seeds from {Storage}. They were the ones that I had previously tried to use to make a killing off sugar.

“Oooh! Thank you, town chief! What kind of seeds are these?”

“Sugar beets, a plant that can be turned into sugar. Pretty sure one of the books in the church explains how to make sugar, so have at it.” Yeah, Ichika made me translate some recipe books, and I think I put them on the bookshelves to pad them out.

“...Town chief, where’d you get those seeds? Plants turning into sugar sounds pretty crazy.”

“Consider that a Beddhist secret.”

“Seriously? Beddhism is incredible! Thank you! Oyasuminasai!”

“Whoa, those seem great! Can I have some too, town chief?”

“Me too, me too!”

“Sure, but you’re gonna have to give me some back later once they’re grown.” The cucumber and potato guys wanted the sugar beets too, so I gave them some extra seeds. I wasn’t going to do anything else with them, after all. Oh, but if they all turn into sugar beet farmers, I won’t know what to call them... Meh. Who cares.

“Impressive as always, town chief. When did you acquire those seeds?”

“Who knows, it’s been so long I can’t even remember.”

Wozma shook his head with an exasperated sigh. Uhhh... Is making sugar out of plants that crazy?

“Hey, Keima,” chimed in Rokuko. “Won’t it be a waste to rebuild the farms if the Dragon just comes to ruin them again?”

“Ah! She’s right, town chief! What should we do...?!” Despair gripped the farmers once again.

“...Alright, I’ll think of how to handle the Dragon. You guys just focus on raising the sugar beets.”

“Right!” they all said in unison. “We’ll leave the Dragon to you, town chief!” Yeah, I can’t tell any of you mobs apart.

“Town chief, what do you intend to do?” asked Wozma, worried.

“Rokuko and I know a guy who knows even more about Dragons than either of us. I’m gonna go ask him for advice.” I answered, and he nodded.

“I will handle the town while you are gone.”

“It won’t take that long. They’re, uh, pretty close to us.”

# Flame Caverns’ Perspective

The [Flame Caverns] located within Tsia Mountain had a rare visitor. A red-colored Dragon was stomping its way through the dungeon halls, made just big enough for Redra in her Dragon form to fit through, while eating Magma Slimes along the way. It progressed straight to the stairs and went down, as if it had the dungeon layout entirely memorized. It took the shortest paths available and in no time reached the boss room on the fifth floor.

Normally there would be a midboss Red Minotaur lying in wait to fight off the intruder. But instead there was Redra the Red Dragon, the Dungeon Master and the last boss of the dungeon. The two Dragons faced each other, then instinctively sucked in air. They were preparing to breathe fire—and at full power, too. Then, before long...

“GRAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!” They both let out sparkling bursts of fire at the exact same time. The pure white fire looked like beams of light, and they smashed together, exploding and shooting up the temperature in the boss room. They temporarily shut their mouths to cut off their fire breath, then walked toward each other with their Dragon claws leaving deep marks in the now molten ground.

Once close, they bumped noses happily.

“You’ve sure learned to breathe some alright fire! Guess you’ve been keeping up your training, Igni!”

“Of course, Mom! Who do you think I am?!”

“My daughter, duh! Hahaha!”

The Dragons roared friendly roars. They were in truth mother and daughter, with Redra the Red Dragon being the mother and Igni the Flame Dragon being the daughter. This was the first time they were seeing each other in several decades. There popped up the father—Ittetsu, the Salamander Dungeon Core.

“Heya. How ya been, Igni?”

“Dad, I’m home! I’ve been great, super great!” Igni, with the enormous size of a Flame Dragon, tackled Ittetsu. Despite the fact that his daughter was bigger than him just like a four-wheeler big rig is bigger than a small commercial truck, Ittetsu had the pride of a father. He dug his back feet into the ground and used his tail to disperse the force of her tackle, taking it head on without being thrown away.

“You’ve sure grown a lot since I last saw you. Pretty sure you’re gonna be bigger than Redra soon, yeah?”

“You think so? I think Mom just got smaller!”

“Like hell I did! Sheesh, kids these days grow way too fast! Though I’m still pretty young for a Dragon, just saying!” Redra gave Igni’s head a hug and Dragon knuckle rub, which made her let out a childish giggle. That put the weight of two Dragons on Ittetsu. He might have collapsed had he lacked the fatherly pride.

“Well hey, feel free to relax wherever. This place is still your home.”

“Yeah! Oh, right. Mom, I wanna talk to you about something.”

“Huh? About what?!”

“Lean over for a sec...” It seemed it was something she didn’t want Ittetsu to hear. They parted from Ittetsu so Igni could whisper into Redra’s ear.

“Th-There was this really amazing guy.”

“An amazing guy, huh?”

“He wasn’t afraid of me at all, and he pointed his sword at me!”

“A sword, huh?”

“Even though he was a human!”

“A human, huh? Huh huh huuuh?”

“I fell in love at first sight! I want to make him my mate!”

“Hell no! Who the fuck messed with my little Igni?!” roared Ittetsu, butting in with the full force of his protective fatherly nature.

“Dad, what?! Why were you eavesdropping?!”

“Hey, you were just talking so loud I couldn’t help but hear it... Yeah, Redra?”

“Sure, you shoulda pretended not to hear! Igni’s a young girl, she needs her privacy!” It seemed that Redra had gotten so emotional that she unconsciously started shouting.

“Can’t believe my daughter fell in love with a human... but alright! That’s fine with me!”

“Really? Yaaay!”

“Whoa, whoa, whoa, Redra! I’m her dad and I’m not letting this happen!”

“Why not?!”

The mother wished to support her daughter’s love, and the father didn’t wish to give his daughter to anyone. A classic family dispute had begun.

“Fact is, you’re a fuckin’ Dragon, and he’s a fuckin’ human. How’re you gonna make him your mate? You’re not even the same species!”

“You and Mom are different species too! You’re a fire spirit Salamander and she’s a Red Dragon!”

“Ngh?!” Ittetsu could only grunt after she immediately shot down his core argument.

“You’ve sure grown a mouth, huh...”

“Ahaha! Looks like Igni’s in the right here! So, who was the lucky guy? What’s he like?”

“...I dunno!”

“Huh?” Even Redra, for all her support, had to pause in disbelief.

“I dunno, but he was strong enough to fight me! He was tiny!”

“How tiny?! We gotta know the details!”

“He was smaller than you, Dad, but he was strong!”

“Gahaha! All humans are gonna be smaller than me!” Ittetsu’s mood brightened after he realized that meant she wouldn’t be able to find him.

“Oh, and he even managed to hurt me! It was the first time anyone other than you or Mom managed to do that!”

“Huh?! He hurt my cute lovely amazing daughter?! Fuckin’ hell! Bring him here right now so I can kill the hell out of him!” Ittetsu’s mood darkened after he saw the slight cut on his daughter’s neck.

“That’s a sword cut! I guess he’s a sword fighter, then?!”

“Well, I don’t really remember him well, but I will if we fight again. Cause I mean, I’m in love with him!”

“I’m thinkin’ you should remember a lot more than that... Sheesh, Igni. How many humans do you think live here?”

“A lot, but who cares? He’s the only human strong enough to fight me! I’ll find him in nooo time.”

“Haaah...” Naturally, even Redra had to sigh at what an airhead her daughter was. And so ended the conversation about Igni’s crush.

“You know, things sure have changed a lot around here,” said Igni.

“Yeah. Been about thirty years since you’ve been here, Igni. Things are gonna fuckin’ change. Like uuh, the city at the base of the mountain.”

“That was there like a hundred years ago too. Oh, but there were some weaksauce humans walking on the mountain! I teased them a little! They panicked super hard and ran all over the place!”

“Uh?” Ittetsu stiffened as Igni began cackling. “Er, hey. About how far up the mountain were they?”

“About halfway up, I think. They were wearing clothes and they weren’t on fire. Their homes were nearby so I burned them too.” It was at that point that even Redra noticed.

“Hey... [112], were those humans, maybe, uh...”

“Probably. C’mere, Igni. You remember how to morph into human form, yeah?”

“Wha? Sure, Dad, but... Gaaah! Don’t pull my wings!”

Coincidentally, the [Cave of Greed] dungeon located beside them chose that moment to contact them. Ittetsu and Redra both cradled their heads.

# Keima’s Perspective

And so, when I went to talk to Ittetsu, I found him with a little girl about Niku’s size. She had red scales on some parts of her body, hands and feet with reptilian claws, a tail like Ittetsu’s, and overall was the spitting image of Redra in human form, except a loli.

“Who the heck are you?” she asked.

“Shut it, Igni!”

“Ouchie!”

On top of that, it seemed like a whack from Ittetsu’s tail barely hurt her at all. Yep, well. I know what that means.

“Sorry about all that, Keima! Our stupid daughter sure gave you hell!” Ittetsu’s daughter was in fact the Flame Dragon that had burned those fields. He lowered his big lizard head.

“You actually had a kid, Ittetsu...? Wow. Well, don’t worry about it.”

“Yeah, it’s cute how she’s got a dumb side like Redr— I mean, uh, it’s a real shame she’s dumb enough to mess with neighbors.” Ittetsu looked my way, scratching his head before bowing it again.

“Dad?! Why’re you bowing your head to a weak-looking human like him?”

“Shut it, idiot! This guy’s my friend, and when you fuck with my friends you gotta apologize!”

“He’s your friend, dad?! You have friends?! No way! All you do is hang out inside or flirt with Mom!”

“That’s what you’re surprised about?! C’mon! I only don’t go outside ’cause I’m a Dungeon Core!”

Good to see that they’re so close to each other. “Anyway, Ittetsu, I’m guessing she’s the Dragon that burnt up my fields.”

“Y-Yup. Not much I can do for your dead but apologize for lettin’ it happen... I’m hopin’ you’ll be fine settling this with some DP. Igni... uh, that’s her name. You may not like this, but I’ve gotta ask you not to try and get revenge on her.”

“Eh, well, it wasn’t that bad. She burned some fields and houses, but nobody died. Definitely not enough for me to want to kill a child, seriously.”

“Yeah? That’s good to hear. Silver lining of all this, huh?” Ittetsu let out a sigh of relief. What a good dad.

“I’m not gonna ask you to forgive her just ’cause she’s a kid. I want to make this fuckin’ right. Tell me what you need and I’ll see what I can do.”

“Alright. I’m fine with you paying for the damages. But really, I just want Igni not to do anything like that again.”

“You got that right. She’s gonna be grounded for a bit, about five years.”

For a bit means five years to him? Nice sense of scale. “Got it. That’s all I really need.” Guess I’ll tell Wozma that the Dragon will be staying in the [Flame Caverns] for a while.

“Sorry mister, I didn’t know you were Dad’s friend... Ummm, it won’t happen again, uncle!”

Uncle...? I mean, I guess that’s one thing to call your dad’s friend. “Sure, alright. I forgive you.”

“Wow, thank you! Also, uncle! Keep being friends with Dad, okay? Please! He doesn’t have any other friends.”

“Aw, you sure love your dad, huh?”

“H-Hey, you, shut it! I’ve got plenty of friends!”

Now that she mentions it, I actually haven’t seen Ittetsu with any of his friends... Can’t say anything for sure since I don’t know much about how Dungeon Cores hang out, though.

＊ ＊ ＊

“I asked an expert on the subject and he said the Dragon will probably be staying in the [Flame Caverns] for the next five years.” After returning to Goren Town, I immediately informed Wozma of Igni being grounded in a roundabout way.

“Five years...?! But what would compel a famously erratic fire-element Dragon to stay in place for five years?”

“Huh? Uhhh, well. Something about how Tsia Mountain’s [Flame Caverns] are so plump with fire elementals that the Dragon will have plenty of food.”

“I see. When they have snacks—or, food—they don’t need to travel. And he believes that food will run out in five years?”

“...I think it’s more like the Dragon will just get bored of it in five years? It’s a dungeon, the food will probably never run out. But anyway, point being, we might as well just let sleeping Dragons lie. It’ll leave on its own eventually.”

“I see. That is understandable, then. But may I ask the name of the Dragon specialist you spoke to?”

Oh crap, I didn’t think of one. Time to ad-lib. “It was Narikin. You know, Haku’s friend.”

“Goodness! Narikin isn’t just a specialist in construction magic, he’s even an expert on Dragon behavior?! I see!” Yep, sure am glad everyone trusts Narikin just ’cause he’s Haku’s friend. “In that case, I will inform the Adventurer’s Guild and the townsfolk that they may rest easy.”

“Yep, thanks. I’m counting on you.”

“It will be done.”

And so, the trouble caused by little Igni’s surprise attack came to a close... or at least, I was the only one optimistic enough to believe that. It took several days before I finally realized nobody else intended to let it end there.

＊ ＊ ＊

“Huh? What’s this about a Flame Dragon Extermination Request?” In the middle of a boring hour of stamping my signature on paperwork, I suddenly found one that stuck out. I decided to go ahead and ask Wozma about it.

“That is the paperwork asking for the Empire to send troops to exterminate the Dragon in Tsia Mountain, of course.” His answer was not surprising.

“...Uh, but I mean, the Flame Dragon’s going to be chilling in the mountain for like five years.”

“Yes. That means we know where it will be for five years. A perfect opportunity to exterminate it.” Uhhh... but I said to leave it alone. Crap, this is where being a figurehead isn’t so easy. I’ve gotta try to convince him to give this up.

“I’m vetoing this request. Leave the Dragon alone. We don’t want to risk it or other Dragons coming for revenge.”

“Hm, now that you mention it... understood. I will not send the request.” Wow, he sure backpedaled fast. “However, this is a bit problematic. I imagine that adventurers are already heading there to exterminate the Flame Dragon themselves.”

“...What?” Nobody mentioned that to me. I asked for the details, and apparently a nearby adventurer had overheard Wozma as he informed the guild about the situation. Talk of the Dragon spread like wildfire among adventurers. And since more adventurers meant more firepower, the Guild actually encouraged that. The fact that word could spread so fast in this world without phones or the internet just went to show how fearsome Dragons truly are. No doubt the mightiest of the monsters.

“Forgive me, town chief, this was my mistake.” Wozma gave a deep bow.

“...Well, I’ll go ask the expert if the Dragon will mind a few adventurers coming after it.”

“My apologies.”

And so, it was back to the [Flame Caverns] meeting room. Ittetsu and I met there alone.

“Turns out some adventurers are coming here to try and hunt the Flame Dragon.”

“...Say what?! Y’know I’m gonna have to kill you if they go after my family, yeah? She may be dumb, but she’s my fuckin’ daughter.”

“Hey, I feel you. I would do the same thing. Most people would.”

“Yeah... Wait, Keima. You had a kid with Rokuko or something? Gahaha, kids sure are cute, huh? Yeah?”

“Nonono, I haven’t had any kids. Not a single one.”

“Huh? And here I thought humans bred like fuckin’ crazy.”

I coughed to get the conversation back on track. “Anyway, if any adventurers do come looking for a fight, feel free to kill them all.”

“You got it. Hey, this is just gonna be some easy DP.” Ittetsu gave a hearty laugh. Anyone traveling this far to hunt Dragons was probably a real seasoned fighter, but if an ancient Dungeon Core like Ittetsu wasn’t afraid then I sure wasn’t.

“Dad! I heard everything!”

“What?”

Igni popped up out of nowhere, in this meeting room that could normally only be accessed by using dungeon functions. She was in human form, at least. Wait. She looks less Dragon-like than before. Her hands and feet are more... human.

“So basically, a human way stronger than most humans... In other words, he is coming here for me?!”

“He?”

“Uh... Keima, don’t fuckin’ worry about that. It’s, uh. She’s kinda sick.”

“I’m not sick! It’s love!” roared Igni indignantly, causing fire to envelop her body and shoot up the temperature of the room. Holy crap, it’s hot in here!

“Quit it, Igni! Keima’s got no fire resistance, you’ll kill him!” Ittetsu immediately smacked Igni’s head.

“Nguh! Sowwy...”

“Uhhh, well, just be a little more careful from now.” I was {Ultra Transformed} into myself so that I could revive from an accident, but I would rather not die if I could help it. Not to mention, if the room got as hot as an oven I might die again right after reviving.

“I think I’ll ask for a fire resistance scroll this time. How much are they?”

“Not too fuckin’ expensive. Only 1,000,000 DP.” Yeah, that’s pretty expensive to me. I wonder how rich he is to think that’s only a little expensive.

“Why’s it so expensive? No way could I buy that myself.”

“’Cause you’ll burn alive with the max level. Igni and Redra’s fire is as hot as it fuckin’ gets.”

“Seriously...? That’s a Dragon for you, I guess.”

“Heheh! Yeah, I’m pretty amazing!” said Igni proudly.

“Don’t get cocky!” The sound of a painful smack resounded through the room. If that had been my head, it would have burst right open. Even Igni was holding her head in pain.

“Ngggh, I won’t lose to you, Dad! This love is real!”

“Hah! How’s it real when you don’t even know his name or face? I don’t think you can even tell any humans apart.” Ittetsu’s taunt led to the room heating up again.

“Uh, Ittetsu, stop teasing your kid. It’s getting too hot. And by hot, I mean it’s like standing on the surface of the sun.”

“My bad. Igni, get a grip.”

“Gr, grrr...” The heat source cooling down didn’t change the already hot air, so I cast {Ice Bolt} on the wall to fix that. I didn’t modify it at all since Ittetsu was there too.

“That’s some weak magic. I guess all humans except my love really are weak,” said Igni with disappointment while looking at me. Which seemed to make Ittetsu want to tease her again.

“Heh, you’re in for a world of pain if you look down on Keima, alright? He beat me in a fight, y’know.”

“Wha?! You, Dad?! No way!”

“It’s a fact. Redra and I can’t hold a candle to ’im.”

“Even Mom?! But he looks so weak!”

“Uh, Ittetsu? I just told you not to tease her too much. What’re you gonna do if she challenges me to a fight now?”

“Right! No way are you stronger than Mom and Dad! Fight me!” See? What a pain.

“Hey, what’s the problem? Go ahead and accept. You can set the rules and everything, alright? Have some fun with my daughter.” Ittetsu’s big lizard face broke out into a grin. Seemed he was completely confident that I would come out the victor.

“Alright, I’ll have some fun. But gimme 100 DP so I can buy some tools.”

“Comin’ right up.”

I took the DP Ittetsu gave me and used it to buy stacking blocks, straight rectangles that formed a square when three of them were lined up. I then stacked them while changing the direction they were going in each layer.

“What? Are those your weapon, uncle?”

“Nah, they’re just toys. Now, about our duel. We’ll take turns pulling out blocks from the tower. Whoever makes the tower collapse on their turn loses.” Indeed, it was Je*ga. Time to see if her still-clawed half-Dragon half-human hands can beat me. Oh, and no attacking the other player, or using anything but your hands on the tower.

＊ ＊ ＊

And so, after becoming a Dragon Buster (of stacking blocks), I used my authority as victor to make Igni promise to try and not kill the adventurers who came to fight her, if at all possible. I didn’t want to indirectly make the child of a friend a murderer if I could help it. Even though she was, uh, technically three-hundred years old.

Also, I gave her the blocks. They’ll be good practice for her human form. She’ll get better at using her fingers, and since getting heated will burn the blocks, she’ll have to learn to stay calm in human form. I prepared plenty of spares for her, so she should be fine for a few days. Unless she burns them all in one go.

Anyway, I went to give Wozma an update in the bar.

“Hey, Wozma, turns out it’s probably gonna be okay. He said a few adventurers going in won’t be a big problem. Though he can’t guarantee they’ll come out alive.”

“I see! That is a relief...” Wozma put a hand on his chest and sighed.

“Huh? What brings you here, Keima?”

“Gozou, huh. Nothing much, I just got back from asking a Dragon specialist some stuff.” I gave Gozou a brief explanation as he chugged his beer like always.

“Alright, so you’re saying we can all go hunt the Dragon and the town’ll be fine?”

“I guess, but uh, don’t. You’ll all die.”

“Gahaha, we wouldn’t go on our own. But with Wataru, things are different. We might just win if you come along too, Keima.”

“Sorry, but I’m not crazy enough to risk my life for nothing.”

“Same here. And hey, that means we can just go hunt Iron Golems like normal.” Right. And you know, the townsfolk really didn’t seem nervous or panicky at all. Gotta say, I’m impressed they’re keeping their cool when a Dragon is so close.

“Huh? Y’know that there’s a legendary Red Dragon that lives in Tsia Mountain, right? What’s another Dragon on top of that?”

“...Oh, I didn’t know there was a legend like that.”

“There’s a pretty famous song that goes like, ‘There beee a red-scaled dragooon deep in the [Flame Cavernsss]’, y’know. Never heard it?” Nope. And today I learned that Redra is a legendary Red Dragon of which songs are sung.

“Some say she’s a god protecting the whole country.”

“Seriously? I had no idea.” You’re a guardian goddess, Redra. Congratulations.

“Though to us it’s just a shut-in that’s never left its mountain in the whole time we’ve been alive. I’ve only heard of it in the song, and who knows, maybe it’s dead by now.”

“N-Neat.” Redra, you’re such a shut-in that people aren’t even sure if you’re still alive...

“Hey, what’re the chances that the Flame Dragon is that legendary Dragon, and it’s actually been away from home until now?”

“...Either way, we know for sure a Dragon’s in Tsia Mountain now. Lots of people out there forming parties to try to take it down.” Yeah, makes sense. They want the prestigious title of Dragon Buster. But is it really worth it, honestly?

“Wozma, how many people do you think are gonna come here?”

“Let’s see... quite a few, I believe. We may want to devise a plan for dealing with them.” That many, huh? But uh... how many is “quite a few,” exactly?

“Alright. Good luck, Wozma.”

“I will do my best, but I will expect your help, town chief.” Anyway, time to sleep while Wozma takes care of everything.

Several days passed after I made that decision. And indeed, reckless adventurers seeking glory came to our town one after another.

＊ ＊ ＊

The first problem occurred in the Dancing Doll Inn.

“I’m telling you, give us the best room you got!”

“Haaah... Like I saaaid...”

On my way to grab some grub from the cafeteria, I heard an argument at the receptionist desk. I went over to see what was up and saw five buff adventurers glaring at Neruneh over the counter. She seemed kinda bored, but the dudes looked like they were one step away from getting violent. Good grief.

“Hey. What’s happening, Neruneh?”

“Ah, Masteeer. These, um, customeeers? They want to use the best room we haaave.”

The five dudes glared at me. “You’re the boss around here?!” They yelled, but I didn’t flinch. The fact I wasn’t scared at all probably showed that they were no big deal. Ittetsu’s yells were ten times as loud and intimidating.

“That’s right. I don’t see any problem with letting you use the room if no one else is, but what’s the problem?”

“Well, the thing iiis, they’re saying they won’t pay for it.”

“Ah. That means they’re not customers. Listen, buds, this is an inn. You gotta pay for the rooms to stay here.”

“Shut it! This inn’ll get famous as hell if we stay in it, so you better give us the room now while we’re still in a good mood!” The hell is wrong with this guy? And what’s wrong with his four companions for not stopping him?

“You must be pretty famous to say that, huh.”

“Yup. Believe it or not, we’re all Dragon Busters.”

“Sorry, never heard of you. I’m not too familiar with adventurer groups. What’s your party name?”

“The Thunder Gods of Super Mega Thunder, hell yeah!” The five of them flexed their arms to show identical tattoos. The ink was artistically styled like lightning in a way that even some Japanese tattoos were. But uh, that’s one weird party name. At least it’ll stick in my memory.

“Heh, too afraid to even speak, huh?”

“Even this backwater town’s heard of how the five of us hunted a wyvern, I see.”

“Hah. My muscles speak for themselves.”

“How about that room then?”

Eeeh. These guys sure jump to conclusions. I guess they are technically Dragon Busters if they took down a wyvern, but... wyverns seem kinda weak.

“By the way, what rank are you all?”

“Listen and be amazed. All five of us are C-Ranks! Our party rank surely matches that of a B-Rank.” I like that he had to say ‘surely’ to avoid stating something untrue as a fact.

“Five C-Ranks forming the party The Thunder Gods of Something Something? Sorry, never heard of you. Pay or get out.”

“Say what?! We’re doing you a favor here! Just give us the room!”

“I will if you pay. A night in our best room is, well... with five people, one hundred and twenty-five golds.”

“Huh?! Why’s it that expensive?!”

“Grab a normal room if you’re too poor for it. Those are just fifty coppers a night, so it’ll be two silvers and fifty coppers a night for you all. Food is separate, by the way.”

“I see, this inn is a tourist trap. We must deliver upon it the judgment of the Thunder Gods.” The lankiest and smartest-looking of the buff dudes cracked his knuckles.

“Neruneh, looks like these aren’t customers. Deal with them by the book.”

“Okaaay. Go forth, my cute little Golem.” Neruneh clapped her hands and a Clay Golem I made appeared from behind the counter. On its arm was the band of the Adventurer’s Guild.

“Hell yeah. Time for a fight.”

“No, way. Tch. That’s a Guild armband.” There weren’t as many now as there used to be, but in the past a ton of violent customers came trying to stay for free. The Adventurer’s Guild’s armband always proved very effective here. If it didn’t work, we still had the option of just reporting them directly. A loud shout here would be audible to the Adventurer’s Guild next door.

“Our inn works with the Adventurer’s Guild, so yeah. Even the prices for the rooms were decided on by a higher up in the Guild. If you’ve got a problem with them, bring it to the Guild.” After all, Haku herself had said that the grand suite should be priced at twenty-five golds a night. Letting someone stay for free without good reason would just be a slap in the face for Haku. Oh, and the wedding earlier was framed as Rokuko footing the bill, so it was totally fine.

“By the way, if you wanna stay at a cheaper inn... I’d recommend you go back to Tsia and look for one.”

“Like hell we’re gonna go back this late! Gah, can’t believe you’re ripping us off. This is why I hate country bumpkins.” What city did these losers come from?

Anyway, they settled on staying in a normal room. They all chose E-Rank meals (50 coppers each), which totaled five silvers with their rooms. But, well, our inn was good enough to justify the price, so I didn’t feel bad in the least.

The next day, it happened at dinnertime again.

“How many times must I say it! Give us your best room!”

“Bro, get it through your thick-ass skull that it costs twenty-five golds a night per person. If you wanna sleep there, pay up.”

The voices were different this time. I wandered over and saw that a party of three elf-eared individuals—two male, one female—were blasting Ichika.

“We’ve giving you the opportunity to house the great Eternal Beauties! At least drop the price to one gold!”

“Shut it! You friggin’ stupid morons! Quit trying to haggle and just go for the friggin’ normal rooms!” Uh, Ichika, I think you might be blowing up a bit too hard. Not that I can really blame you.

“Hey-hey, what’s going on?”

“Oh, Master. Good timing.”

“So, you’re in charge around here!”

They were even less intimidating than the five from yesterday. Probably because they were lanky elves. But anyway, looked like we had some more whiners on our hands.

“We are the B-Rank adventurer party, the Eternal Beauties!”

“B-Rank, huh?” That meant they were in fact a part of the nobility. Being a little polite should be the right idea here. “And yet you will not pay the twenty-five-gold room fee? Or seventy-five for the three of you, rather. The price is certainly high for an adventuring party. But you do not seem to be average adventurers.”

“...We simply do not believe that this inn could be worth seventy-five golds.” His voice softened a bit, perhaps since I had indirectly complimented them.

“Then please stay at another inn, honorable adventurer. We have only our grand suite and normal rooms, so if you would like neither, we cannot provide any service to you. You may choose another inn at your leisure.”

“Ngh... You know there’s no other inn!” Oh, but there are in Tsia. Though there are no more carriages going back there today.

“It is quite alright, Oreta. You needn’t argue for my sake any longer.”

“B-But, Princess Chiroli...”

“Conda, please pay for the normal rooms.”

“Princess! I could never force you to stay in the same rooms that these commoners use...!” Princess, huh? Seems like she’s royalty, but I’m just gonna pretend I didn’t hear anything. Oh, or maybe rich noble daughters are called princess too? She might just be on the level of the archduke.

“We have come this to this distant land to defeat the wicked Dragon that plagues your innocent people. Forgive us, sir, for causing a stir.” The female elf bowed her head apologetically. Seemed that she had an actual head on her shoulders.

“No problem at all. And by the way, our inn has an onsen—a bath, albeit a shared one. Feel free to visit it as much as you like.”

“Oh my, a bath!”

“Ngh... To think that the princess would be forced to lower her head...”

“Dude, you’re the one who was such an ass she felt the need to apologize, alright? If I were you, I’d be beating myself up for being such a ginormous shithead.” Ichika going in for the kill.

“By the way, food is priced separately, but there does exist a menu for those who choose not to eat meat.”

“I see. Thank you for your consideration. Though it is merely superstition that elves only eat vegetables.” Wait... really? Uh, well, the menu’s still useful since I’m sure someone in this world is vegetarian! Even though nobody like that has shown up before! I’m fully confident that there’s a tribe of vegan beastkin out there!

And of course, the next day during dinnertime, it happened yet again.

“I shan’t argue with a slave! Summon your owner!” Yup, here I am.

A plump looking guy was yelling at Niku over the receptionist’s counter. Alright, remember to call her by her other name.

“What’s going on here, Kuro?”

“I told him he couldn’t stay, so he got mad.” Someone else trying to stay for free, I guess.

“So you are the owner of this inn! I will have you know that you are a failure of a businessman!”

“You think so?” Honestly, I don’t have much to say to that. I’m an adventurer, not a businessman. Or uh, I’m a pope. I guess a pope being a failure of a businessman is actually a good thing. “Anyway, what seems to be the problem?”

“I traveled all this way, and yet this slave says there are no rooms for me to stay in.” Hmmm, this guy seems more like a merchant than an adventurer.

“Well, the prices for our inn are twenty-five gold for the grand suite and fifty coppers for a night in the normal rooms.”

“I have already been told! But when I tried to stay in a normal room, I was informed there are no empty rooms!”

“Wha?” Pretty sure our inn has twenty whole normal rooms. “Kuro, is that true?”

“Yes, all the normal rooms are filled. Only the grand suite is open.” Wow, all rooms filled. We sure are making a killing off this.

“I see. So you can’t stay because all the rooms except the grand suite are filled.”

“Indeed. The fault for this predicament lies with your establishment. It follows that it’s your responsibility to lower the price of the grand suite to make up for this blunder, no? Hmm?” An interesting point. So basically, he’s saying it’s our fault that there are no rooms for him to stay in even though he wants to, and thus we should let him stay in the grand suite for free. Man, it always comes down to cheapos trying to haggle, huh?

“I decline. Our grand suite is worth its price and no less.”

“Empty rooms have a high opportunity cost. It would be more profitable to let me stay in the grand suite, even if not at full price. Am I wrong?” You might be right in the short term. However...

“If I lower the price here, future customers will demand to stay for the same price you did. Lowering the price permanently for this would cause greater losses overall in the long term.”

“I will keep this a secret, then. Shall I prepare a contract? I am more than willing.” The merchant grinned. Geez, this guy sure is a pain. Nobody going this far to stay for cheap could be a good guy. It’s people like this that would, like, steal the futons and stuff.

“There’s also our pride. Not to mention that we would be disrespecting the previous customers that paid full price.”

“I find it unlikely that anyone of note has visited your backwater inn! Surely you are just exaggerating the visit of some impoverished noble!” Oh, you’re gonna go there? Guess that leaves me no choice but to play the ace up my sleeve.

“The Ivory Goddess has stayed here. She was our first customer, and advised us to set the price to twenty-five golds a night. Dinner being a separate five golds. After her visit we have had three Heroes stay there as well.” The moment I established that our inn was Ivory-approved, the merchant trembled. Incidentally, I was the third Hero there, but he didn’t need to know that.

“D-D-D-Do not lie to me. The Ivory Goddess herself, in this backwater town?”

“It’s true, we have connections. And her visiting is a pretty famous tale, just ask around the bar and you’ll see.” In the first place, the public understanding was that Haku paid to have this inn built since she frequently visited the land here. Honestly, it would be fair to say that we didn’t even have to take any customers other than Haku. In any case, it was a fact that our inn had the Ivory Goddess’s personal seal of approval. I wouldn’t object to anyone calling our inn officially sanctioned by the Laverio Empire.

“It’s... true?”

“Yep. I don’t mind writing a contract to say I’ll give your money back if the Ivory Goddess hasn’t stayed here.” Now it was my turn to bring up contracts as a sign of honesty.

“I-I see. Forgive my rudeness, then. I will pay twenty-five golds for the room... if you would have me. I won’t regret spending twenty-five golds to stay in a room that the Ivory Goddess herself has blessed.”

“Roger that. Take’m up there, Kuro.”

“Okay.”

The merchant proceeded to order an A-Rank dinner for five golds on top of that. Wow, he’s got that much money? I thought he wasn’t that special since he came here alone without a single servant or guard.

Incidentally, on checkout he seemed pretty satisfied, saying that the room and food were worth even more than thirty golds. He left the grand suite in pretty good condition, so if he ever came again, sure, I wouldn’t mind letting him stay there again.

But anyway, wow. This is the first time since founding the inn that we’ve ever run out of rooms. Maybe I should get a sign to put on the front door when we’re out of rooms. Yeah, I’ll go make one.

...And so, day after day our Dancing Doll Inn was experiencing problem after problem. Naturally, not all customers were so easy to talk down, and we had to go directly to the Guild more than a few times. The troublemakers in question would blast the Guild, get arrested, and pay a fine. Naturally, they didn’t get to stay in the inn. They were sent out of town, no matter how dark it was outside.

In the event of merchants causing trouble, the worst-case scenario was me threatening to use my authority as town chief to label them as criminals and confiscate their wealth. Maiodore, the daughter of Tsia’s archduke, had given her approval ahead of time for doing exactly that. As of yet, no merchant hadn’t backed down after hearing that threat.

I just wish I didn’t have to get involved every single time there was trouble...

＊ ＊ ＊

Anyway, stuff happened and now our inn was all filled up. There were so many people drawn by the prestige of Dragon hunting that we couldn’t handle them all. Not to mention all those nursing their wounds in our rooms after challenging the Dragon and losing. Though in some cases, their rooms were taken the second they left for battle. The exorbitantly wealthy A-Rank party The Golden Radishes stayed in the grand suite, but they were sent packing by Igni the very next day.

Many of the wounded adventurers had left already, satisfied just by being able to brag about having fought a Dragon and lived. They had at least managed to avoid ending up in crushing poverty after getting all of their equipment melted, but still, I wasn’t sure how far that bragging would take them.

The people who had died challenging the [Flame Caverns] all passed away to the traps and monsters within it. Igni was keeping her promise and letting the challengers leave alive. That must mean the adventurers weren’t strong enough to even come close to posing a risk.

...But y’know, a lot of people here have some weird party names. I wonder if the auto-translator is having some fun. Or maybe these people are really just that lame? Either way, the inn’s been packed for so many days that they are starting to go sleep in the dungeon’s Inn of Greed. If you said those rooms were too small to be called actual inn rooms, you’d be right. Time to ask the vice chief for help.

“Heya, Wozma. What’s going on here? The inn’s at full capacity and that’s hurting our D— income.”

“M-My apologies, town chief. I am currently investigating the possibility of letting people stay in the town residents’ homes.” Wozma was busily carrying around beer and food in his bar. Wait... So he hasn’t done anything to fix it yet?

“You seem pretty busy.”

“I have no excuse. Despite my best efforts, I have been as swamped, as you can see.” The inn was packed with regulars, with only the grand suite being left open. It made sense that the bar would be filled with Dragon-hunting adventurers too.

The problem was, they were way too overconfident. What else would you expect from people cocky enough to try to hunt Dragons? Incidentally, a lot of them were eating in the bar since food at the inn was so expensive.

“Wozma, is the fried food for table three done yet?!”

“Wozma, two ales for this table!”

“Ah, coming right up...! Sorry, town chief. My hands are as full as yours. May I ask for some assistance in dealing with this problem?” Wait, I’ve never seen that beastkin waitress before. I guess he’s hiring some part-timers. Can’t blame him when he has this many customers.

“Uhhh, I mean, I guess I could direct some people to the church... but that wouldn’t fix things for long. How about we have them put up tents in the plaza and outside the town?”

“I see... That’s what people did before the town was established, how nostalgic. Let us inform the guild where tents are permitted, then.” And so it was settled. Wozma was so busy that I had to go to the guild myself, but... well, I wasn’t that work-averse.

I popped up at the guild and saw that there was actually a line leading to the counter. Seemed that they were just as busy as we were.

“Heeey, is Cilia here? There’s something I want to report to the guild.”

“Town chief! You’ve come at the perfect time. I hate to ask, but could you lend us a little money?” Cilia the guild receptionist called me over the second I popped in.

“Wait, what?”

“We attempted to buy the items these adventurers have with them, but we lack the money for it.” In front of her were three adventurers, each looking like a storied veteran of war. I hadn’t seen any of them before. They were likely yet more people after the Dragon.

“Can’t believe the guild here can’t afford items this bad. Or maybe it’s just that we’re too good for this place, huh?”

“No point forcin’ it, boss. Let’s go look for some place that’s got a little more money.”

“Heh, you got that right.”

It seemed that they had brought with them some fairly expensive materials from monsters that they had hunted on the way here. But the guild lacked the funds to buy all of it.

“Why not just put more money in their guild bank accounts?”

“The problem is that they wish to be paid with physical money, and immediately.” I wonder why they brought all this stuff at once. “They could have sold the items in Tsia’s guild building, but instead they went all the way to this branch office and are demanding direct payment... I would guess that they merely wish to brag about having hunted such expensive materials that the guild could not afford to buy them.” Ah, makes sense. They could go around talking about how they’re great adventurers and all that. Not sure what the ultimate point of that would be, and they’re kind of proving the exact opposite by pulling this at all, but sure. “The items are all older than I would expect from something they hunted recently as well...” So, you’re saying they probably went out of their way to buy these expensive materials.

“Hey, I heard that! We hunted this Mandragora in Tsia’s dungeon on the way here. It’s just dry ’cause we cast {Dry} on it! How about you stop trying to pin false charges on us. Now, buy it all! Give us the money!” Cilia’s efforts to avoid divulging personal information had been ruined by the adventurers themselves bragging.

“Alright, I understand everything. Consider the money lent. How much do you need?”

“One hundred golds.”

“Haha! We’re in a rush, so we’ll wait exactly ten minutes for you. You couldn’t afford that much money even if you scrounged up every silver and copper in town!”

“Uh-huh. Anyway, here’s the money.” I handed over a gold pouch that I had stashed in my {Storage}. I had left it there ever since Wataru gave it to me, so it was exactly one hundred golds.

“...Huh?” The adventurers gave grunts of shock, which Cilia ignored while counting the money.

“Yes, that will do. Thank you, town chief. I will return it in full tomorrow with an interest rate of—”

“Eh, don’t worry about interest, that’s more effort than it’s worth. We both help each other out. The bigger deal is getting this transaction finished fast, they’re in a hurry. I’ll leave another bag here in case you need it.”

“...Thank you. In any case, here is your payment.”

“W-Wait, hold on.”

“No need to explain, I know you are in a hurry. Here you are. We await your return. Next, please.” Cilia finished their business with merciless speed, ignoring their attempts to stop her. The line moved forward.

Incidentally, Mandragora roots of that size and age could be bought at specialized stores for about two hundred gold. They would have just lost a huge amount of money if they had just bought it at a store, but that wasn’t relevant here. They hunted it themselves and made a hundred gold! Hey, how about you three use those on my inn’s grand suite? We love customers with money on hand!

“...H-Hey, boss, what’re we gonna do about this?!”

“We’ve gotta pay full price if we don’t bring it back, right?! We’re gonna be enslaved and—”

“N-No... My perfect plan...”

Oh, looks like you won’t be able to afford it. My bad.

“Oh, right, Cilia. I want to talk about setting up space for tents outside.” I finished my own business with Cilia, then went back to the inn.

Actually, it might be a good idea to close the game room for a bit and use it as a place for sleeping on the ground. Maybe twenty-five coppers a night or so.

＊ ＊ ＊

Anyway, all the Dragon hunting adventurers were swarming the dungeon as well.

“If you’re just gonna sleep anyway, Keima, could you help me with this?”

“Huh?”

Rokuko took me to the Master Room. What’s all this about?

“Take a look.”

“...That’s a lot of red.” The monitor, projected onto an entire wall, was showing the maps of the second floor, third floor, and the labyrinth area with all of the adventurers on them. There were a lot of adventurers there. Each red dot signified an invader, and just to repeat, there were a lot of them. So many that we could barely even move the Golem walls to manipulate the true path through the maze, ruining the area’s entire gimmick.

“We’re busy controlling Golems and getting items to people staying in the Inn of Greed. There are a few people getting past the staircase area too, so you’ll need to restock the Golem Blades there.”

“...Right. Seems like the dungeon’s just as busy as the inn.” It turned out that Dragon hunters who failed in their goal turned to our dungeon to make some cash or bring souvenirs back with them. The inn was packed and the space set aside for camps was steadily filling up, which led some to form camps in the dungeon. There was a line of people waiting their turn in the Inn of Greed to get items. Some fights broke out with other people skipping in line, but honestly, I didn’t really care. Man, there’s so much to do.

“Where’s Rei and the others?”

“Rei’s at the church. Kinue and Neruneh are at the inn.” Niku, Ichika, and the Silkies were at the inn, too. The church was also getting an influx of followers, as you might expect. So much so that we had to temporarily take down the bookshelves due to all of the thieves looking to make a quick buck by stealing the books. They were falling into our anti-theft traps (Golems that opened into pits if someone brought a marked book to the door) so much that we decided to just let the nuns lend books to actual villagers who asked for them.

Incidentally, the nuns were experiencing some pretty bad sexual harassment. I ultimately decided to let the Succubi decide for themselves how to deal with it, though it was hard to imagine how they would avoid harassment when wearing nun outfits like that. Even the new ones I had given them at the wedding ceremony were barely covering anything anymore.

...Ehhh. Yeah, lots of stuff to do.

“Rokuko, how do you feel about summoning monsters to help run the dungeon?”

“...Well, I was thinking that I couldn’t keep doing things myself much longer.” And so, we unanimously (two votes) decided to summon a new monster to help run the dungeon.

Since they would be working in the shadows, we didn’t need to worry about how they looked. We could summon a horribly disfigured monster and it would be totally fine as long as it was intelligent enough. For a second I considered the possibility of a Tentacle Slime like Mr. Tent that couldn’t talk, but a minion that couldn’t talk would be no good minion at all. Which is why we started talking about another Silky, but...

“H-Hey, Keima. I have a request.”

“...What’s up, Rokuko? Why’re you breathing so hard?”

“Just once. Just a single time is fine. But could you please let me, um, roll the 100,000 DP gacha?” asked Rokuko, a wild light in her eyes.

“That’s not exactly an idea I like. I’m the kind of guy that likes guarantees, not chance.”

“Just once! Please, just once!” Well... thanks to all of the people flooding in here, especially the ones strong enough to try challenging a Dragon, our daily DP income had shot through the roof. Which logically means that so has our store of DP. The dungeon as a whole (including the inn and so on) is producing twenty to thirty thousand DP a day. Which means that yes, we do have the funds to roll the 100,000 DP gacha, but...

“Keimaaa... Pleaaaase, let me have this?”

“...Ngh!” Begging with puppy dog eyes?! No, my heart! It trembles! Rokuko pursed her lips tightly as I struggled internally.

“...Do I have to grovel? Do I need to do that groveling thing you’ve done sometimes? Do I need to do it in my birthday suit?”

I laughed in shock. I didn’t even think, I just let out a stunned laugh.

“Alright, alright. You can roll it, just don’t get naked.”

“Bwuh? Oh, wait, birthday suit means naked. C-Come on, you should know I wouldn’t have done that!” Rokuko punched my chest lightly with bright red cheeks to hide her embarrassment. Don’t use your {Japanese} skill if you still suck at it, c’mon. But in any case, I crumbled beneath Rokuko’s passionate pleas and ultimately gave her permission to roll the 100,000 DP gacha once.

“Yaaay! I love you, Keima!”

“...N-No problem.”

“K-Kinda makes me feel embarrassed when you get shy about it like that.” It was time for Rokuko to roll the gacha. I had given her permission in the heat of the moment, but I did believe that with her luck Rokuko would get the perfect monster for the job her first try.

“Here we go, 100 Keima Gacha! Gimme something good!”

“Please, give us something that can fix this problem instantly! Also, don’t turn me into a unit of currency!”

Rokuko activated the 100,000 DP gacha, and instantly the room darkened. I wasn’t sure I had seen the Master Room ever darken before... Oh man, the 100,000 DP gacha sure knows how to get you hyped!

The sound of thunder roared through the room and a needless pillar of light beamed out of the magic circle. With flashy effects like these, we might just be summoning the Demon King... Oh, wait, there’s a whole faction of Demon Kings. And we’re enemies. Never mind that.

And then, the monster finally appeared.

“Ummm?” There sat a kid about Niku’s size—with red scales dotting her legs and a Salamander-esque tail sprouting from her, looking entirely as if she were a Dragon that was working hard to master her human transformation. And there was a Je*ga block in her hand. Wait, uhhh. This girl looks kinda familiar.

“Wait, uncle? What’re you doing here?”

“...You’re Igni, right?”

“Uh-huh. But... wait, where am I?” Igni spun her head around, taking in her surroundings. Huh. Looks like it’s really her, all dressed up with a fancy golden armband on her left arm.

I looked at Rokuko and saw that her lips were twitching.

“This is... the Dragon I’ve always wanted, right?”

“Yep. Go give her back.”

“No way! We’re gonna raise her here! I’ve already decided on a name! She’s Karen!”

“She’s Igni! Don’t go around naming other people’s daughters!” It seemed that Rokuko was panicking too. I knew that she knew who Igni was, since Redra had already introduced them. “And what the hell is wrong with that gacha?! Why did it summon our neighbor’s daughter?!”

“Ummm. What should I do?” asked Igni.

“Just hold on a second.”

“Oh, okay. Um... Uncle, got any more blocks?”

I gave her another Je*ga set to shut her up. What a nightmare. We dumped 100,000 DP into the gacha, and sure, we got a Flame Dragon (three hundred years old). But that Dragon’s our neighbor’s daughter. And she’s the source of all our recent troubles. Sure, she can fix a lot of our problems, but come on! This isn’t right! This isn’t what we wanted! Read the mood a little, gacha!

“Awww, do I really have to? Do I really need to give her back?” Rokuko trembled as she looked up with tearful eyes. But really, thinking logically, what else could we do?

“...Imagine, for a second, that you and I have a kid.”

“Ah! A-A kid with you, Keima? Eheheh...”

“That’s right. They’re ours. Now imagine that one day, out of nowhere, that they suddenly disappear, taken by another dungeon’s gacha. And they get their name changed on top of that.”

“...Okay, we’ll give her back.” That’s the empathy I like to see. “But only if I get to roll the gacha again! Just once more! I’ll definitely get something good this time, definitely!”

“...I dunno, 100,000 DP really is a lot.” I fell into thought.

“I don’t mind giving up on snacks for a bit! I won’t eat so many melon rolls!”

“...Just one more, alright?” She was begging so much like a desperate child that I couldn’t help but nod. 100,000 DP was several centuries worth of melon rolls, but her desperation was hard to resist.

“Yaaay! I love you, Keima!”

“I kinda feel like this is gonna be a heavy hit to our DP ranking, though.”

“Who cares about that?! It’s time for gacha! Yippeeee!” Is she a gambling addict? Uhhh, well, this’ll be the last time she does it either way, so...

“Ummm, uncle. Should I get out of the way?”

“Yeah, that’d be smart. Go hang in a corner or something, sorry.”

“Okaaay.”

“Here I go! Gimme the good stuff, 100,000 DP gachaaaa!” Igni moved aside and Rokuko rolled the 100,000 DP gacha again.

This time a magic circle exploded out with a burst, then slowly shrunk down. Oh, it’s different from last time. I think this is the same thing that happened with Phenny? In which case, I guess all that thunder and stuff was for an SSR roll. Would expect nothing less for a Flame Dragon, I guess.

And this time, what we got was an elf wearing shabby clothes in tatters like a slave might wear... and given that her entire body was transparent, she was probably dead.

“...Is this a Ghost?”

“Looks like a Ghost. Wait, hold on. I feel like I’ve seen her before...” I definitely had, but where? Some elves passed by recently, but I was thinking even further back. It didn’t take long to shrink down the possibilities.

She was an elf, and she was a slave. Dead, too, by the looks of it. These hints led straight to the only possible answer in my memory. Indeed, she was the elf who had been for sale in the same slave market as Ichika. Her name was Elulu, if I remembered correctly, and Dragon Suzuki the Hero had killed her.

“...Wait, you’re... Ichika’s master, aren’t you?” she said in a kinda sleepy tone after we made eye contact. “Where am I...? Did you save me?” Well. Looks like she remembers everything, except what happened after she died.

“Not so sure about the saving you part, but well, how much do you remember? Seems like you remember me, so...” I pointed at myself, and Elulu began listing off her memories with a finger on her chin.

“How much? Let’s see... Master Dragon stabbed me through the stomach, and... abandoned me?! W-Wait, why is my body transparent?!” She did indeed remember right up to the point where Suzuki stabbed her, and halfway through recounting her memories she realized she was a ghost.

“Uhhh, well. This is kinda hard to say, but you died.”

“I suppose I did. But wait. Does that mean I’m a Ghost now? Whaaat... Did you not bury me?” I, uh, definitely did. Maybe I didn’t bury her the right way?

“By the way, it’s been over a year since you died.”

“...Whaaaat?” It seemed like her mind was racing to process the situation she was in. I would probably do the same if I ended up as a ghost. Though really, the main thing I was taking from this is that here, the dead did speak, and that opened up a lot of potential problems for me. No longer could I blab about my evil plots before killing a Hero, for fear of them returning as a ghost and revealing everything.

“U-Um. What happens now? Are you going to exorcise me?”

“I kinda have some work for you to do, but...” Who knew if Ghosts would be good workers. Would she disappear if {Purification} were cast on her?

“Um... Well, I mean, you did try your best to save me back then, so I wouldn’t exactly hate serving you, I mean, definitely not. But now that I’m a Ghost, um, how could I service you?”

“Service?” said Rokuko. “You mean like by doing your job? I’m definitely not sure if Ghosts can hold things. Keima, go test it out.” She’s considered a dungeon monster now, so worst-case scenario I should be able to let her use the menu and move the Golems through it, but that would limit her to only doing work through the menu.

“Uncllle, can I go home nooow?” Oh right, I forgot about Igni.

“Bring the blocks over here. I want to see if Ghosts can stack them.”

“Got it! I’m gonna win this time!” And so, Igni, Elulu, and for some reason Rokuko all played a game of Je*ga.

Elulu was pretty quick to accept that she had died and turned into a Ghost, so she went right to testing the limits of her new body. She learned that she could grab the blocks with no issue. She could also phase through them if she didn’t focus on grabbing them, and with a little expertise she could grab only her selected block while phasing through the rest of the tower. Naturally, Igni lost the game. Hooray, now Rokuko and Elulu are Dragon Busters too (in Je*ga).

“Oh! Since I became a ghost through murder, do I need to get revenge on Master Dragon before I can rest in peace?”

“Huh? I mean, is that just something you want to do? Or are Ghosts actually bound to that way of life?” Wait, way of life is a poor phrase to use here. Way of... death?

“Umm, well, Master Dragon... or rather, Dragon gave me a painful death, so I feel like it would be wrong to not kill him if he’s still alive. Dragon might be my mortal enemy.”

“Wha? Elulu, you want to fight me?” Igni stood up happily, having misunderstood the context for the name Dragon.

“No. Sit down. You’ve got the wrong Dragon.” I explained to Igni that there existed a Hero named Dragon Suzuki. Luckily, we managed to clear up her misunderstanding without any funny mishaps.

“Wow! That’s surprising!”

“Goodness, Igni, why would I ever view you as an enemy? Ahaha!”

“Well, you know, I am a Flame Dragon after all! Kind of an easy mistake to make! Ahaha!”

“Ahahahahaha. Wait, what? Really?” Oh, did I not mention that Igni’s a Flame Dragon in human form?

I explained who Igni was to Elulu. She believed me when Igni canceled her transformation and turned into a full-sized Flame Dragon. At the cost of passing out from shock, though. Today I learned Ghosts can pass out.

“Heeey, Elulu, wake uuup,” said Igni.

“...Look, Keima, she’s hitting the Ghost with her bare hands.”

“Is it normal to touch Ghosts like that? Maybe she can touch it since she’s basically a walking avatar of the fire element.” Incidentally, my own hands went right through her. But Rokuko could touch her just fine. Maybe that had to do with her Dungeon Core blood or whatever.

Elulu woke up after Rokuko and Igni poked her cheeks enough. “Ah...! P, P-P-Please forgive me honorable Flame Dragon! I am not worthy of being in the presence of a true dragoooon!”

“Don’t be shy, we’re friends now! Just call me Igni!”

“U-Understoood! Lady Igniii!”

“Well, I don’t mind the lady part! I am stronger than you, after all!”

Elulu went crazy with fear as soon as she learned that Igni was a Dragon. Maybe that was trauma from Suzuki? Nah, that was probably just how normal people reacted to Dragons. Igni nodded in satisfaction at Elulu’s fright.

“You didn’t notice that I was a Dragon, and that means my human morphing is perfect! Basically, I’m amazing! I’m the strongest!” That was definitely one way of looking at it.

“Goodness, Suzuki certainly put me through hell! He must be punished!” She swapped over to Suzuki since it would be confusing to keep calling him Dragon with an actual Dragon around. She used to call him Suzuki anyway, and only switched to Master Dragon after getting yelled at, so really this was one way of spiting him.

“By the way, Suzuki’s buried alive inside a stone wall right now.”

“What?” Only once Elulu was mostly calmed down did I explain where the target of her vengeance was.

“He’s been buried in that wall for over a year now. Honestly, I’m amazed he’s still alive.”

“Wait, hold on. How did that happen?” Oh, did I not mention that I did that?

I explained how I had buried him alive, which made Elulu give a conflicted expression I didn’t know how to describe.

“...I-I guess my vengeance is over already, then. Being buried alive in stone is like torture, you know. You’re a bit scary. But thank you for using a mannequin that looks like me to bait him. I feel satisfied... But then, why am I a Ghost?”

“Er, like I said, I kinda want you to work for the dungeon.” I went ahead and explained that I was a Dungeon Master, and that she had been summoned as a dungeon monster.

“It was just by chance that we summoned you, though. Want us to look for a way to exorcise you instead? I’d want you to work while we figured that out, though.”

“Well, I don’t mind working. Keima... Master, you were forced to help the dungeon after being summoned just like this, right? I want to help too!” Elulu was full of motivation. Whew, that’s another employee to help manage the dungeon. Things should get easier around here now.

...I wish I could leave all my work to other people and just sleep. Bleh.

We went and gave Igni back to Ittetsu later. She was a bad omen of suffering that we didn’t want anywhere near us.

“You know how fuckin’ worried I was when she disappeared out of nowhere?”

“Hey, don’t get mad at me. The gacha did that all on its own. Direct any complaints to your Father.”

He gave us a gift of 100,000 DP as thanks for returning her safely, so Rokuko got her year of sweets back. Lucky you, Rokuko.

＊ ＊ ＊

“Anyway, Elulu’s joining the team. Give her a warm welcome.”

“Elulu?! You’re okay, well not okay, but technically not dead?!” squealed Ichika as soon as she saw her.

“Uh-huh, it’s meee. I heard everything from my new Master. Can’t wait to run the dungeon with all of you!”

“R-Right on... but what’s with the collar? Won’t it, like, freak out ’cause of Suzuki?”

“Oh, this is, like, a fashion thing! It doesn’t actually do anything anymore. Because I’m dead!” Ghosts truly are something else. Slave collars lose all meaning once you’re dead. And maybe since she’s gotten her revenge already, Elulu’s surprisingly optimistic about all this. A bright-spirited elf Ghost. What a weird person she turned out to be.

“I’m wearing the same clothes I had when I died, too. Oh, and if I don’t focus my intestines just kinda slip out...”

“Gaaah! Gaaah! Dude, no need for a demonstration! I don’t wanna see your guts! That’s a little more than lewd!” Yeah, I think “slip” is too cute of a word for that. More like gush out in a flood of blood and bile.

“Teehee! By the way, I can do this too.” Elulu thrust a hand into Ichika’s chest. Her transparent arm went right through her. “I can’t impact living things too much, but it looks like I can move their organs around a little.”

“Holy crackers, that’s friggin’ disgusting! It feels so bad! You’re making me wanna die too!”

“Aw, disgusting? That’s kind of mean of you to say, Ichika.”

“Ah, n-not there, that feels weird! Hyaahaaha!” Yeah, I got pretty grossed out when she did the same thing to me a second ago.

“Glad you’re having fun.”

“Oh, forgive me, Master. I just couldn’t help myself.”

“Ngggh, Elulu... I won’t forget this...” Ichika glared at Elulu angrily after she pulled her arm out of her. Was kinda weird to see a Ghost looking happier than a living being.

“So yeah, Elulu’s gonna be helping us with the dungeon. Ichika, you’re back to a training position. Your pay will be curry rolls.”

“Roger!”

“Wait, what are curry rolls...? Ah! Now that you mention it, what am I supposed to eat now that I’m a ghost?!” Uhhh... Nothing, probably? She probably just lives by sucking mana out of the earth or draining the living of their power or something. Haku had Dolce the Wraith as a subordinate, so a Ghost working alongside humans shouldn’t be a problem.

Anyway, I left training Elulu to Ichika. Give her some time and... everything should work out. Really, I’m just glad we summoned Elulu as a Ghost and nobody else. It would’ve been bad in more ways than one if the duo of rookie hunters or someone killed in the dungeon popped up.

...From that perspective, Rokuko rolling Elulu is yet more proof of her luck being amazing, I guess? Who knows. Come to think of it, though, summoning a single helper here is kind of like throwing a bucket of water at a forest fire. More and more adventurers are gonna be coming to town, and we could run out of manpower again in a snap. We’re just barely holding on now... I thought while looking at my map, when suddenly I noticed something strange.

“...Aren’t there too many Silkies here?”

“What?” Rokuko checked on her own map, and there we confirmed that there were five Silkies. I hadn’t gotten it wrong. I took a closer look at saw that there were two Hannas and two Nicoles... oh, and now three Pios. What’s going on here? A bug? No, the monitor is showing all of them where the map says they are. Are the Silkies actually ninjas?

I summoned Kinue and the Silkies to get to the bottom of this after work calmed down.

“Anyway, it looks like the Silkies have been duplicating. Can they do that?”

“They can duplicate,” answered Kinue seamlessly. What?! I mean, I saw them duplicate, but still.

“Uuuh. You three can duplicate?”

“Yes, we can duplicate,” all three of them answered at once. They can duplicate...?

“So every Silky can just up and duplicate themselves, huh?”

“Not quite. I believe that is one of their special traits. You summoned them as a set, correct?” asked Kinue. And indeed, I had bought the Silkies as a Silky Set. The price was 80,000 DP... Wait. Wasn’t Kinue only 10,000 DP? I looked at the catalog again, and a closer look revealed that the Silky entry had several new levels.

“Oh yeah, wasn’t the Silkies Set 30,000 DP back in the day?”

“Mhm, I remember us talking about how it was a better deal over buying just one.”

The first level was a Silky for 10,000 DP, the same amount we had summoned Kinue for. And beneath it was... 40,000 DP for a Silky. Wait, what? And the Silky Set after it was 80,000 DP.

“Oh. Look, Keima, they come with skills. It says right there, ‘You can make its stats identical to an existing Silky,’” said Rokuko, and I saw that message written in tiny, hard to see letters at the bottom of the monitor. Shouldn’t this kind of important warning be written in red or something? The menu sure can be a dick sometimes.

“...So basically, if we select this one, we’ll get a Silky with the same stats as Kinue?”

“My my, a Silky just like me?” That meant having two Silkies as competent as Kinue. Man, Silkies are amazing... Getting a maid as skilled as her for 40,000 DP seems kinda overpowered. Maybe it’s not a big deal since she’s not much of a fighter.

“Mmm, we totally missed this.” We missed something about the Silky Set too. Honestly, the Silky Set was even more unforgiving. Three Silkies were shown as an example image. But there wasn’t a single line about them being able to duplicate or anything like that. All the set said was that it was a good deal.

It was like the maker of the catalog just figured that showing that there were multiple Silkies would be enough without any concern for the user experience... Though well, I had no idea if anyone had “made” the catalog at all. Maybe Father did. Considering his personality, it was possible he had made it confusing on purpose.

“...By the way, does duplicating have any negative effects on your body?”

“No,” answered Hanna. Alright then. I was worried it would shave off some of their lifespan... Oh, wait, they’re fairies. I guess they’re immortal as long as their home remains? That’s kinda incredible.

Unfortunately, it seemed that all duplicates shared the same life, and if one Hanna died all the Hannas would die. Nicole and Pio had their own lives, but in the end, the group was limited to just three lives total. I can guess that’s to stop anyone from using Silkies as living shields.

“What about your memory?”

“They all combine when we fuse back together,” answered Nicole. It was less that some bodies were clones and more that each body was the real thing. But they would fuse back together before eating, so they only needed one meal each. Yeah, that’s definitely a good deal.

The splitting happened when they needed to be in two places at once. They would just go, like “I’ll go here” and “I’ll go there” without even thinking too hard about it. Man, I’m kinda jealous.

“That kinda feels like you’re being overworked, though. Are you sure you’re alright?”

“Why wouldn’t we be? We love to work,” answered Pio. Such was the strength of she whose life revolved around work. And now that she mentioned it, all the Silkies—Kinue included—looked absolutely vibrant and full of life, even more so than usual. Uh, I mean, you still need to get some rest. This is a Beddhist family.

“...You know,” observed Rokuko, “The inn could operate twenty-four hours a day with the Silkies trading shifts.” Whoa there, Rokuko. That sounds like workplace abuse.

“Could you try splitting... duplicating for me?”

“Absolutely!” the Silkies answered together before running around in circles. I followed them with my eyes as they circled, and before I knew it there were four, six of them. Whoa, they’re duplicating. They’re really duplicating. Wait, nine, eighteen?! They’re still going?!

“H-Hold on, can you duplicate infinitely?”

“Yes, as many times as you need, Master!” they all replied in together, forming a booming cacophony of little girl squeals. Which means there’s no limit to the work they can do if there’s stuff that needs doing.

“...So basically, this whole time I’ve thought we barely had enough people, but I could have solved everything by duplicating the Silkies?”

“That’s correct,” answered Kinue. On the other hand, this did mean that they had been helping me from the shadows without me realizing it even when the workload had become too much for them to handle without duplicating.

“I’ve gotta think up some reward for this.”

“Oh my... In that case, Master, may I suggest that you use one of the many Silkies as your dakimakura? Niku has been so busy lately that you have been left without one, no?” suggested Kinue. It was true that I had been sleeping dakimakura-less for a bit.

“Well... I guess taking one would be pretty nice. But wait, would that really be a rew—” It was too late. The second I said “pretty nice,” my fate was sealed. All the Silkies looked at me like predatory maids with their eyes locked on new work to take on.

“Take me!” yelled three, and “No, take me!” screamed another three while three more wailed “Hold ooon! Take meee!” A brawl broke out among the crowd of Silkies. Are they seriously fighting over which of them I should take? Hey! Stop fighting among yourselves! At least fight with other people... wait, no! Don’t fight at all! Stoooop!

“Cease, everyone! Master is losing his patience.”

“Understood! Ma’am yes ma’am!” Kinue’s warning made all of them salute. Oh, and they’re fusing back together.

“Listen up, everyone. Master said that ‘taking one would be pretty nice,’ if you recall.”

Replies came: “Yes.” “He certainly did.” “I heard the same.” I did say that, but what of it?

“In other words, I am also an option for him. My developed body may not be to his tastes, but I will strive to be the best dakimakura that I can be.”

“Heeey! No fair, Kinue!” screamed the Silkies. “Developed body not to his tastes”? Does Kinue think I’m a lolicon too? I’m not! I promise...! The problem here is just that Kinue’s so busy already with work only she can do, I couldn’t ask her to take up even more work on top of that.

“Rokuko.”

“Right.”

Things were getting so out of control I decided to leave it all to Rokuko. She understood my signal and gave a firm nod. She’s so reliable nowadays.

“Hanna, Nicole, Pio. First of all, make sure that four of you are never seen together at once. If you slip up and someone does see you, just explain that you asked a relative to come help, but the ideal is never being seen at all. Understood?”

“Understood!”

No, that’s not what I meant. But well... I guess that did calm them down and change the subject? Ahhh, wait, the reward... In the end everyone dispersed with the idea of me rewarding them being forgotten.

Still, Silkies had so much hidden power it was actually amazing. I would need to think up some other reward for Kinue and the Silkies later...

# A Village Adventurer in Goren (Former Cucumber Farmer)’s Perspective

More people were coming to town lately. Apparently, a bunch of relatively famous adventurers were coming to fight the Dragon that had settled in Tsia Mountain recently. Together they formed multiple parties and were challenging the [Flame Caverns] within Tsia Mountain.

Still, I never thought I’d see the day where crazy strong parties like the Thunder Gods of Super Mega Thunder, the Eternal Beauties, and the Stars of Profound Darkness would come to a tiny town like mine. I mean, this was a town for the beginner dungeon the [Cave of Greed], y’know?

Incidentally, the Stars of Profound Darkness were kicked out of the inn and forced to camp outside. They had been reported to the guild and forbidden from entering the inn. They were strong but well-known for being nasty, but still, it was cool how the inn would just casually kick them out without letting that behavior fly.

On top of all that, a lot of adventurers were coming to make a name for themselves. The best example of those were the losers who tried selling a store-bought mandragora root in the guild branch office here. I didn’t know their party name, but now everyone knew of them as the Ripoff Radishes. They had managed to make a name for themselves, but not exactly in a good way.

Maybe some people thought that they could get popular just by standing out. But to me, all the people talking about slaying the Flame Dragon just didn’t get it. I had seen the Dragon for myself and it was on another level. To put it in concrete terms, I couldn’t imagine anyone fighting it and not getting beaten in a single blow.

An expert on Dragons that the town chief knew said that the Flame Dragon would stay in the [Flame Caverns] for five years, but who knew what would happen if adventurers kept prodding it. The expert had said a few attacks wouldn’t bother it too much, at least. From the Flame Dragon’s perspective, we adventurers were like children trying to slap its leg. Or maybe even like Jellies, unable to even do that. We were nothing to it.

As proof of that, a party of three adventurers came back from a failed attempt at Dragon hunting. Luckily, none of them had been killed. The Dragon had apparently been playing around with them from start to finish.

“Forgive me, Princess Chiroli... my shield could not protect us.”

“No, it is the fault of my full-power {Ice Bolt} being unable to pierce the Flame Dragon’s hide.”

So said the elf princess of the Eternal Beauties and her knight companions. It was staggering to think that an elf’s magic, and of an element purported to be most effective against fire, did no damage at all. Though it wasn’t that crazy when you considered how much more mana Dragons had than humans.

Thunder Gods of Super Mega Thunder returned with their hair standing up and their skin black with ash, as if they had all been hit with fire. The Stars of Profound Darkness had, impressively enough, been burned with fire at just the right temperature that all their equipment had burned off, leaving them naked. Things would have been a nightmare for them if the Eternal Beauties hadn’t offered them waistcloths.

Those three parties served as a warning that different people interpreted in different ways. Some concluded it was foolish to try fighting a Dragon at all. Some said they should gather more people and fight the Dragon together. Some thought the three just weren’t as strong as them.

If you asked me, those who ran away were the smartest out of anyone. We were talking about a Dragon, after all. Just looking at one was gambling with your life. When they came asking for my help, I turned them down. Every villager would turn them down. The town chief had said the Flame Dragon was sleeping in Tsia Mountain and that none of us should lay our hands on it.

The town chief was both the top adventurer in town and the pope of Beddhism. Who wouldn’t listen to him? Anyone who ignored his orders was no villager of Goren. It was wrong to disturb someone’s sleep, even if that someone was a Dragon. Beddhism did not discriminate.

Sure, my field got burned. But maybe that was for the best, since the town chief gave me sugar beet seeds and now I was a sugar farmer.

“To think we’d end up as sugar farmers, huh?”

“It’s still kinda hard to believe...”

“Sugar beets look kinda like radishes, but you can’t really put kneesocks on them...” The former radish farmer was still as messed up in the head as ever.

“...Why don’t you just grow some radishes on the side?”

“I didn’t even think of that! Are you a genius?” Well, I mean, farming is basically a side thing for us anyway. We are adventurers, after all.

“Oh, but lately so many people have been going into the dungeon that it’s harder to find chests. I haven’t found any kneesocks at all thanks to that.”

Now that he mentioned it, the dungeon definitely did have a lot more people going through it now. There were those who gave up after seeing other people lose to the Dragon, and there were those warming up by going through the beginner dungeon that was the [Cave of Greed]. The outsiders were really dominating the place. At least that meant there were free Goblin corpses to use as fertilizer lying around.

“I hear some people are sleeping inside the dungeon’s Safe Zone.”

“...Yeah, the inn is pretty packed right now.”

“The Inn of Greed is packed too. There are actually lines to get a room there now.”

“Camping outside and sleeping in Safe Zones, huh...?” There were even people sleeping in the greed trap safe zone, with the sword in the pedestal. But apparently a few people had died in the corridors due to people pulling out the Magic Blade and activating the spike trap. Dying due to a trap another adventurer activated must have sucked real bad.

“Y’know, aren’t more people dying to the dungeons than the Dragon?”

“Yeah, for sure. You’re right about that.” Everyone who faced the Dragon and lived to tell the tale had said that the Dragon didn’t take the fight seriously. According to the town chief, it was probably thinking of them as toys to play with to kill time.

Most people didn’t go any further into the [Cave of Greed] than the Inn of Greed due to the danger shooting up, but people who didn’t know that and people who did but wanted Magic Blades anyway were going deeper, which meant a lot of casualties.

“I hear people are kill-stealing Iron Golems too. Y’know, nabbing the kill right before the hunter gets the final blow.”

“Yeah, people just passing by don’t care about their reputation here.” Bar fights were nothing too serious. But not being able to hunt Iron Golems was a real problem. There were even people who would target those carrying the hunted Iron Golem back out of the dungeon. Though most of the time they were stopped by other adventurers who caught them in the act.

“I’m not one to talk, but man, a lot of adventurers sure are stupid.”

“Yeah. Can you believe people who can’t even read are trying to steal books from the church? They don’t even get that the true value of books is what’s inside them.” There were also people who tried breaking slot machines after losing all their money to them. They ended up getting the crap beaten out of them by everyone there, though.

Finally, we arrived at the Dancing Doll Inn’s cafeteria, with our large bags stuffed full of sugar beets.

“I’ve got some of Goren’s famous Dragon Beets heeere!”

“And I’ve got Golem Beets!”

We had become sugar farmers, but we didn’t just sell the sugar straight up. We’d need authorization from the Merchant’s Guild to sell luxury goods, and we wanted to avoid that. So we just sold the cooked beets at stands in the cafeteria instead, and boy did they sell.

Incidentally, we didn’t put Dragon meat into Dragon Beets or Golem chunks into Golem Beets. Inspired by doll-shaped food described in a book within the Beddhist Church, we had the town’s sole blacksmith Kantara forge molds for us to cook in. Some in the shape of Dragons, some in the shape of Golems.

Also, the iron used to make the molds was from Goren Town’s own Iron Golems. The beets were truly a Goren product through and through. We had the town chief’s permission to describe them as “Goren’s Famous Beets.”

And yeah, the Dragon Beets and Golem Beets sold pretty well, even though they were the same beets that just looked different. We thought about cooking them after getting the order, but there were so many orders we wouldn’t be able to cook them fast enough if we didn’t make them ahead of time.

Such was the strength of sugar and sweets. There were even some people who bought them while chanting about how they would give themselves extra luck for beating the Dragon by eating the Dragon-shaped beets ahead of time. Indeed, Goren’s famous church-approved Dragon Beets.

The recipe itself was pretty simple: pouring batter made by the town’s best chef Kinue into molds and cooking the beets inside of them. One plus for our beets was that the batter Kinue made probably had honey and such mixed in to add more sweetness and depth. Also, the bread rose excellently by just adding some flour and sugar to water. I didn’t know why, but as long as they kept selling, I was happy.

We once tried to give half of our earnings to the town chief as tax, but he said he didn’t need it since we were selling the beets and the dough for him. I wasn’t really sure what he meant by that, but in either case we just added the money to our church donations.

“Thank you, thank you! See you next time... aaand, my Dragon Beets sold like crazy again.”

“Crazy when each one is ten coppers, huh?” The Golem Beets were five coppers each. But most adventurers were all about the Dragon Beets, maybe since it really was that appealing to just eat a Dragon, even if the dough was the same. Either way, selling beets was better than risking our lives in the dungeon while it was so busy.

The other villagers were pretty upset about not being able to hunt Iron Golems, but Wozma and the town chief moved fast to fix things. With Dyne’s help we had our own stands, and people were selling all sorts of things—sauce they had from the dungeon, cooked eggplants blessed by the nuns, and so on.

Also, the Adventurer’s Guild was supplying Keep the Peace quests that involved patrolling the town. Villagers like us were given priority for that quest. The main problem was that it was hard to spend the money earned while the bar was so busy. The entertainment room was closed, too. No biggie, though. We could just spend our savings when it opened up again.

I let my mind drift, then heard some nearby adventurers chatting while eating their Dragon Beets.

“Man, the dungeon here’s crazy as shit.”

“That spiral staircase is out to kill. You know how many people I’ve seen die in front of me there?”

“What’s real crazy is what’s at the bottom of that staircase. There are Magic Blades down there, but man... It’s not worth it.”

“If only we could get Magic Blades from those trapped rooms...”

You could hear a lot of rumors when running a stand. Having a stand’s actually a good way to gather information. You had to have something to sell, though. Or you could just ask someone else who had a stand. It is pretty common to buy information from store owners and such. Finally, I got to see what it’s like to be on the other side of the equation.

“Oh, selling even more of those, huh? I’m impressed.”

“Oh! Sir! It’s all thanks to you!” I bowed my head at the speaker. It was the noble-looking guy who had lent us the warming magic tool.

I didn’t know his name, and I hadn’t even asked if he was an actual noble. That was because he preferred to remain anonymous, and we were fine with that since Wozma, the vice town chief, had said he was trustworthy.

“Please, have a few. You could give them to your wife or children as a gift... Aah, no need for payment! We already owe you more than we could ever repay!” I stopped him when he tried taking out his wallet.

“Oh, are you certain? Should you really be giving your products away for free?”

“It’s fine, you might as well be our investor. We owe you a lot for letting us use your magic tool, and this is really the only way we can repay you,” I explained while putting Dragon Beets on a plate and holding it out to him.

“Investor, hm? Where did you learn that terminology and manner of thinking from?”

“Uuuh, from a book in the church. Not really something that helps much with adventuring.”

“I see. You’ve been studying well,” he replied while wrapping the Dragon Beets in a white handkerchief and sticking them into his {Storage}. He must have been a real noble if he carried around handkerchiefs like that and knew {Storage}. He seemed close with Maiodore, so maybe he was the archduke? Haha, just kidding. Maiodore was one thing since she was just a kid, but the archduke himself wouldn’t go around enjoying food from random stands, surely.

“By the way, weren’t there three of you before? I see only two of you here now.”

“Ah, that guy’s watching over the magic tool right now.” There had been a lot of untrustworthy people around town lately. We couldn’t leave the magic tool on its own without someone to guard it.

“Hmm... I would hope Tsia has something prepared to fix this situation.”

“I’m sure the town chief has something up his sleeve,” I said casually, which made the noble widen his eyes in surprise.

“...You think that Keima has a plan?”

“Maybe? He’s Keima, so...”

“He certainly is trusted by his people, I see,” laughed the noble. He then thanked me for my wisdom and left with a smile.

...Alright, back to selling Dragon Beets! And whatever Golem Beets I can.