Extra Episode — The Game of Dragon Life

Several days after the Dragon hunt was all over, I went to talk to Wataru, who was still in town.

“I made Life. Let’s play.”

“Huh? Life...?” asked Wataru, looking confused.

“What, you don’t know The Game of Life? It’s a board game where you roll dice to move pieces through spaces.”

“Oh, I’ve actually heard of that before, I just didn’t know what you meant at first.”

“Makes sense. I hear a Hero introduced it here, so it must be from another world. You must not have heard of it here since it’s a game for nobles.”

“I see. Wait... The Game of Life is for nobles here?”

“According to Haku, yeah.” The spaces in Life had writing on them, which meant only literate people could play it. The literacy rate was so low when the Hero made the game that not many commoners could play it. The paper used to make the board was expensive, too, so it never caught on with poor people.

“...But despite all that, the dice caught on at least.”

“Huh. Things sure have changed.” The literacy rate had grown over the decades, and now most people could read simple text. In other words, now was the time for Life to make a comeback.

“It all goes back to Wozma the vice chief, actually. He asked me to make something related to Dragons to sell.” Which inspired me to make a Dragon-themed game of Life.

“Interesting. Did you make the pieces out of Dragon claws or something, then?”

“I don’t have any of those, and even if I did, I wouldn’t waste them like that. We’d never make our money back no matter how many copies we sold.”

“Ahhh... that’s true,” said Wataru while scratching his cheek.

“This is a Game of Dragon Life I made with a Dragon specialist’s help. It’s a good opportunity to learn more about Dragon customs and biology, really.” Incidentally, I also made Dragon Life to fulfill a second, hidden request. To spoil the twist: it all comes back to Redra. She thought it was sad that Wataru proposed to Igni by accident and that Igni hadn’t noticed that he didn’t feel that way for her at all. And so, she wanted me to stealthily teach Wataru and Igni the truth.

“Interesting. But why do you want me to play it?”

“Just to test it out. Your {Ultra Good Fortune} will do some work here, yeah? I want to see if you’ll still have fun. That’s the excuse, anyway. I actually just want to be able to say that a Hero’s played it before.”

“Both of those don’t sound very convincing!”

“C’mon, I know you’ve got the time.”

“Actually, I’m pretty busy with all the adventurers that want to duel me. And I mean, why not just brag that a Dragon-defeating legend has played it?”

“Oh, so you will play it?”

“No, I’m talking about you.” Ngh. Wataru is surprisingly popular, really, with everyone squealing and treating him like a real Hero indeed.

“Alright, I’ll have to bait you with a reward.”

“...You’re not talking about credit for defeating the Dragon, are you?”

“Of course not. I’d give you that for free.”

“And I won’t take it! The truth prevails!” What a stubborn guy. Having no other choice, I named another reward (the one I had been planning to name from the start).

“I’ll give you a food ticket for the Dancing Doll Inn that will let you eat with Neruneh once.”

“Very well, I’ll play.”

“I’ll also give you the credit for beating the Dragon.”

“It’s time to move on, Keima. I couldn’t take the credit at this point even if I wanted to.”

I clicked my tongue and went to the parlor in the chief residence, picking up Niku along the way.

“You sure are late, Wataru,” observed Rokuko.

“There you are! I’ve been waiting!” The parlor had both Rokuko and someone else.

“Here, Wataru, let me introduce you. This is the daughter of the Dragon specialist I’ve been going to. Her name’s Igni.”

“I’m Igni! Nice to see you again, Wataru!”

“Wait, aren’t you...?” Yep, I knew you met Igni in human form before. She mentioned it to me.

“...Wait. You have a daughter, Keima?”

“What?”

“...I mean, aren’t you the Dragon specialist?”

“No way, what gave you that idea?” The Dragon specialist is Redra the Red Dragon. Maybe specialist is the wrong word for someone who is what they’re specializing in, but anyway, she helped with Dragon Life. I can promise it’s accurate.

“I see you’re not wearing your robe today.” Indeed. Today Igni was all dressed up and, therefore, not wearing any robes. She was clearly a loli with a Dragon tail growing out of her. Which meant it was time for excuses.

“Igni’s a Dragonewt. Some of her ancestors were Dragons.”

“Yup! I’m related to Dragons! Isn’t that amazing?!” It wasn’t a lie, either. Just like I had Japanese ancestors, Igni had Dragon ancestors. Nobody said she didn’t have a Dragon parent. Also, it was fair to call her a Dragonewt since her dad wasn’t a Dragon and all half-Dragons were called Dragonewts.

“A Dragonewt! This is my first time seeing one. I didn’t even know they existed in this world.”

“Yep, so don’t worry about her hands or tail suddenly getting bigger, or scales suddenly growing out of her skin. She has pretty thick Dragon blood in her, it causes a lot of problems.”

“Ah, subconscious Dragon morphing. I understand completely.” Wataru bought it. Now I didn’t need to worry about the unlikely situation of Igni’s human morph coming undone. Though it would be bad in a lot of ways for her to go full Dragon mode here.

“I’m sure a strong guy like you will make fast friends with her. Play nice, alright?”

“Sure, but we are already friends. Right, Igni?”

“We’re friends for now! Just wait until you eat my tail!”

“Huh?” Wataru smiled in confusion, but all his questions were about to be answered. “So anyway, you put on that robe to hide any horns that might’ve popped out?”

“Yeah! I would’ve been in big trouble if someone found out... Want to touch my tail?”

“You don’t mind?”

“I’m okay with you touching it, Wataru! You’re special!” said Igni while sticking out her red, crab-like tail.

“Wow, your scales are really smooth.”

“Th-That’s riiight... Nmm, you’re good at touching tails!”

“Really? I’ll take that as a compliment.”

Alright, enough of the flirting. Let’s get this game started. The players were me, Rokuko, Niku, Wataru, and Igni.

“Go ahead and pick whichever piece you like. The colors are different but that’s all.” I lined up the cartoonish Dragon pieces I had made with {Create Golem}.

“I’m picking the red one, duh!” yelled Igni.

“I pick black,” said Niku.

“I’ll go with green, then,” said Wataru.

“I think I’ll go with white,” said Rokuko.

Guess I’ll pick blue, then. Once everyone had their pieces picked, it was time to start. The turn order was Wataru, Igni, Niku, Rokuko, and then finally me.

“You don’t mind me going first?”

“You’re gonna roll a six anyway, so yeah.”

“Feel free not to roll at all, really.” Rokuko and I taunted him.

“You’re both just big bullies! Here, watch me roll it! ...Six.”

“Told you.”

“I’m not surprised.”

“Gah, stop taunting me, you lovebirds!” said Wataru while advancing six spaces. That was the furthest you could advance from the start (including the bonuses written on the spaces), so I knew for sure that Wataru’s {Ultra Good Fortune} would roll him a six. His space had the following written on it: “You fall in love with a human at first sight. Advance one space.”

“...Do Dragons really fall in love with humans like that?”

“Wataru. There’s living proof of it,” I said, pointing at Igni.

“They do! They definitely do!” confirmed the Dragon who had in fact fallen in love at first sight.

“Right, Dragonewts... they’re proof that Dragons and humans can have children.” Incidentally, we were still in the younger years of the Dragon’s life, so the human would probably die before the Dragon did. Pretty sure there’s a space later on like that.

Wataru advanced a space. There was a rule that you couldn’t skip if you didn’t execute whatever was written on the space you landed on after advancing extra spaces.

“Okay, my turn!” We were reusing the same dice, so Igni picked it up and tossed it after a few shakes. She rolled a five.

“...Attack a caravan for fun. Rest one turn! Um... what’s resting one turn mean?”

“Next time it’s your turn, you don’t get to roll a dice. Too bad.”

“Awwww...”

“Well, that’s what you get for being a bad Dragon that attacks caravans. Right, Wataru?”

“Right.”

“...I won’t attack caravans anymore! I’m a good Dragon!”

Next up was Niku.

“Here I go... Three.” She advanced her piece. “You’re given a tribute. Advance three spaces.” That’s six total spaces. She was second place now, not bad.

“Oh, good roll, Niku. My turn...! I got three too. Weird, shouldn’t I have rolled a six too?” Rokuko tilted her head as she advanced six spaces total. Don’t worry, that’s fine.

I picked up the dice... and poured mana into it. Indeed. These were the same rigged dice I used in the past to load Wataru with debt. I could make the dice roll whatever I wanted!

“One, huh? You fail to break out of your egg. The piece in the lead gets worried and goes back two spaces.”

“Wha?! Keima, what kinda messed up space is that?!”

“The game’s more fun when you can mess with other players, isn’t it? Hm... You’re in the lead, Wataru. Time to go back two spaces.”

“Oh! Now we’re on the same space, Wataru! Yay!” That left Rokuko and Niku in the lead.

“Your turn again, Wataru. Give them a roll.” I handed Wataru the dice.

From that point on, Wataru started to get suboptimal rolls, which would be natural for anyone but him. He landed on all the spaces I wanted him to. It seemed that his {Ultra Good Fortune} couldn’t win against my rigged dice. Hence the turn order.

“...Two. You turn two-hundred years old. Go study abroad in [Dragon Ravine]. Advance three spaces... Study abroad, huh? That’s a funny translation.”

“There are many Dragons in the [Dragon Ravine], so there’s a lot to learn. What’s so funny about it?”

“I mean, what do they study there?”

“Mostly how to fight! Also, how to morph into human form. You also get to meet the Dragon King! The current Dragon King is a young Black Dragon that’s like, five, six hundred years old. But I hear he was an adult from the day he was born!” Igni answered entirely as if she had been there herself. I made no comment on that.

“You sure know a lot about this, Igni.”

“Yeah! I’m a specialist too!” Incidentally, if Wataru noticed the significance of that, I planned to play dumb about the whole thing.

“...Four. You return to your nest after decades away. Your parent Dragon greets you, then you fight. It’s so fun you advance two spaces... Um, do they actually greet people by fighting them?”

“I hear that’s normal for Dragons. Especially fire Dragons. Right?”

“It’s the best time to compare fire!” Igni spoke with excited conviction, as if she had done so herself and loved it. I said nothing about that.

“That’s usually how Dragons welcome each other. They have a lot of fun fighting and testing their strength. You like to fight too, don’t you, Wataru?”

“Er, well, I try to avoid fighting where I can help it.”

“R-Really? Um, why? Isn’t fighting fun?”

“I’m not sure what kind of person you think I am or why, but anyway, nah. I’m not a fan of fighting.”

“O-Oh, okay... Do you like eating Magma Slimes more, then?”

“Humans don’t eat Magma Slimes. At most we’ll eat Red Jellies.”

“I’ll get some ready!” Jellies are like the last resort for people to eat. If you asked me, he would like minotaur meat a lot more. Not that I’m going to say anything about that.

“...Five. Morph into human form and sneak into a human town to play. Roll the dice. If you get two or less, they figure out your identity and you go back four spaces... Dragons morph into human form to go play in human towns? Oh, I got a five.”

“Looks like you went undetected.”

“Oh, you got lucky, Wataru! You promised to only go if nobody found out your identity, so if someone did you would have been in big trouble!”

“Huh? None of that’s written on the space, Igni.” Very strange, that.

Rokuko and Niku were providing some support too.

“Okaaay, me next... Wow. Dragons call humans they respect little one. Anyone called little one should feel proud. The piece in last place advances two spaces... Keima, you owe me one. Move your piece and feel grateful.”

“Yeah, thanks.” As I moved my piece forward, Wataru whispered to Igni.

“...Wait, that’s respectful? How?”

“Normally they call humans dead meat or small fry, so it’s actually super polite!”

“Me next. Um, Dragons calling one of the other species by their name is a sign of deep affection. Feel proud. Select one person to advance three spaces. Master, go ahead.”

“Thanks.” Indeed, calling them by their name was a sign of deep affection. They wouldn’t even care to learn the names of the humans otherwise. “Speaking of which, Wataru, didn’t that Flame Dragon call you by your name? Man, Heroes sure are something else. You’re even popular with Dragons!”

“Errr, y-you think so?”

“Uncle’s right! I can guarantee that’s right, Wataru! You should be proud!” Igni beamed a smile. Hey, those deadly sharp teeth sure are charming.

Finally, Wataru was one step away from landing on the final tile. I poured mana into the dice just to be safe, and Wataru rolled exactly what I wanted him to.

“...Six. Saying you’ll eat their tail is a proposal in Dragon culture. Roll the dice. If it’s even, advance to the marriage space...? Uhhh, I rolled a six again, so I guess I’ll go there.”

“Oh, nice going, Wataru. Whatever dice you rolled to get to the marriage space determines what species you marry. Six is for humans.”

“...Saying you’ll eat their tail is a proposal to Dragons? And they marry humans...”

“Don’t be weird, Wataru! Isn’t that obviously a proposal? It’s saying you want to lay the Dragon down and making their body yours, isn’t it?” Igni pulled Wataru close to her with her strong, crab-like tail. Indeed, her red tail. “And tails are sensitive! Not as much as reverse scales, but Dragons only let their families and people they love touch them. Saying you’ll eat the tail has to be a proposal! What else would it be?” She wrapped her tail around Wataru’s waist. “Wataru... You should hurry up and get strong enough to eat a Flame Dragon’s tail, okay?” Igni looked at Wataru with her vertically slanted Dragon eyes and grinned, showing her sharp, carnivorous teeth. She gently rubbed Wataru with her tail while letting tiny flames briefly flare out of her scales. I had told her not to outright say she was a Dragon, but... she was cutting it close.

At that moment, it all clicked in Wataru’s head. There had been a mountain of hints both in the game and Igni’s explanations.

• A Dragon who was five centuries old was still young.
• Dragons could morph into human form, and they snuck into human towns to play.
• They welcomed each other in a friendly way by fighting.
• Using names was a sign of deep affection.
• Eating their tail was a proposal. They could marry humans, too.
• And Igni had familiar red scales, along with familiar eyes...

“Igni! D-Did I, maybe...?!”

“Nn?!”

Wataru shot up with a clatter. Igni released him from her tail on instinct.

“What, Wataru? Did you realize something?!” Igni asked with her eyes full of hope.

“Er...” Wataru looked at Igni, and answered. “Was that Flame Dragon in the mountain your ancestor?!” Wataru’s answer was entirely unexpected. But perhaps this too was the guidance of his {Ultra Good Fortune} skill. After all, his answer was so surprising that Igni just froze instead of going on a rampage. “Oh no... I just proposed to your ancestor, Igni. Oof... I didn’t mean to do that at all, but...”

“Wataru. Sit down.” Stop beating the dead horse already.

“B-But, Keima!”

“Just do it.”

Igni’s mouth was flapping open and closed. What, mimicking a goldfish? Your scales add a lot to that. But really... I guess now she knows that Wataru didn’t realize he had proposed to her. And then he did some extra damage by making her realize he didn’t even connect her with the Dragon at all.

“Well, Wataru. Let’s just keep playing. Let’s all learn more about Dragons and their culture, alright?”

“O-Okay...” And so, with Wataru having landed on all the spaces I wanted him to, I stopped messing with the dice.

The end result was Wataru in first, Rokuko in second, Niku in third, and me in fourth. Igni ended up in last place, behind me even though I had spent most of my turns messing with Wataru. Congrats, everyone. Today we are all Dragon Busters (in board games).

“Whew, I managed to win. I’d feel pretty bad as a Hero if my {Ultra Good Fortune} couldn’t do this much.”

“Keima, you should have stalled him better!”

“Hahaha, I mean, I did step on basically all the stalling tiles. So, Kuro, how’d you like it? Was it fun?”

“Yes. Though I’m sad I lost to Wataru.”

I glanced at Igni.

“...Ngh... I-I don’t mind! I’m an adult lady that knows how to lose!” She was trembling with tears in her eyes. It was impossible to say whether she was sad that she lost or sad that Wataru’s proposal was a mistake. Maybe it was both.

“So, Keima. You’re absolutely positive that everything in this game is correct?”

“I made it with a specialist helping, so yeah, I’m sure.” Indeed. Everything in the game was undoubtedly true. It was put together with Redra the Red Dragon’s help, after all. Unless she was lying to me, it was all true.

Though, to be fair, most of it was written with bias for the Dragons to portray them as favorable. For example... if you were to take everything on it up front, then what we humans did could be described as: “Launching an unjust surprise attack on a kind neighborhood Dragon that didn’t even harm those that came to kill it, then tying it up despite being warmly welcomed, and ultimately blackmailing it to forever leave its home.” Man, not knowing culture sure is scary! Understanding each other is a lot harder than you think!

...The game was pretty much propaganda, but by selling these people would probably question whether or not I deserved legendary status, and in the process, I could improve Wataru’s perception of the Flame Dragon. It was two birds with one stone. Let it be a secret between you and me that I high-fived Redra after making this and ended up with a dislocated shoulder.

Whether or not my plan was successful could be answered easily by looking at Wataru’s conflicted expression.

“So, Wataru. What do you think we should name this game? I think people would be more likely to accept it if it were named by a Hero who defeated a Dragon.”

“You defeated the Dragon too, but... anyway. How about just a Game of Dragon Life?” Yeah, that was what I was going for when I made it. Though naturally I was too lazy to bother with money or making cars for Dragon kids to ride in.

Afterwards, we cheered up Igni by playing Je*ga while I thought about how Wataru and Igni were probably closer now. I didn’t feel like playing the board game again. That might reveal my cheating, and in a game of pure luck Wataru or Rokuko would win for sure.

“But why is Je*ga here?”

“A Hero introduced it as a tool for helping Dragonewts master their human fingers.” That’s what I was passing it off as, anyway. I made no mention of the fact that I was the Hero who introduced it just a few days ago.

Days later. I had been so lazy with designing The Game of Dragon Life that people were already making copies of it. The fact that I hadn’t implemented any sort of copy protection didn’t help.

“Just one game board’s gonna get boring. But I don’t feel like making any more myself, so I say we let others make all the copies and different versions they like. Nothing wrong with more games in the world, yeah?”

“...So that’s why you only made enough to sell for a few days.”

“Anyone can make a copy of the original Game of Life if they have ink and paper, so yeah.” This all meant, of course, that we didn’t earn much money off it. Not that I had been planning to make money.

Despite all that, The Game of Dragon Life became famous as the game that brought The Game of Life back from the dead, while also being a rare source of insight into the lives of Dragons... But that’s another story.