Bonus Short Stories

The Feet of a Ghost

Our new dungeon ally was a Ghost. Indeed, a literal “ghost.” In Japan ghosts didn’t have feet, but in foreign countries they did. What about the ghosts in this fantasy land? I was very curious. Partially because of the whole foot fetish thing.

But in any case, to get to the bottom of what Elulu’s feet were like, I went ahead and called her over.

“You called, Master?”

“Yeah, uh, I was kinda curious about ghosts.” I glanced down at her feet and was met with a vague sort of transparency, like they were both there and not. Hmm, I dunno. I can’t tell if I’m actually seeing them or not.

“...Oh! Dakimakura business, I see! Don’t worry, I emotionally prepared myself for this.”

“Er, nah, that’s not it.”

“Oh. I’m at a loss, then.”

I glanced at her feet. Are they there? Are they not? Which is it?! I mean, it feels like they are, but.... I need to get a closer look! Suddenly, my agonizing was interrupted by her feet solidifying firmly in place.

“...Are you curious about my feet?”

“What?! How could you tell?”

“I mean, if you keep glancing like that, it’s hard not to notice. I would rather you just look at them directly,” she said before jumping into the air, sitting on nothingness above me, and thrusting her feet in front of my face. They were still slightly transparent, but they were they alright. It’s strange. Just one second ago I could hardly even tell if they existed.

I subconsciously put a hand on them and confirmed that they were solid enough to grab.

“Hyaah...! U-Um.”

“Huh. I didn’t expect that I could touch them.” Her skin was soft and a little squishy. Her feet lacked any warmth, but they felt like any normal cold feet. Pretty silky smooth. I like it.

“Y-You sure are touching them. That really tickles...”

“Y’know, I thought I wasn’t supposed to be able to touch you on my own.”

“Well, it’s like, you can if I focus.” In other words, she was focusing on her feet to let me touch them.

“So my hands would go right through if you weren’t. Let’s try it.”

“Um, it’s kinda hard for me not to when you’re staring at them so much.”

“...Oh, by focus you mean like, being self-aware of your own body?” It’s like how you can say “try not to think about how you’re manually breathing” and force people to start manually breathing. Sorry, by the way.

“Yes. But if I focus on being more transparent, I can slide right through walls and the like.” Oh yeah, she did stick her hands inside of people.

So, in short, there were three stages to her transparency. She faded away when not self-conscious of her body, became physical when self-conscious, and ultimately could make herself non-solid again with extra focus. If that was all based on her ghost powers, then I could probably touch her even when she wasn’t self-conscious by focusing on her enough myself, like how Igni and Rokuko had.

“Ummm, Masteeer.”

“Hm? What’s up, Elulu?”

“Um, h-how long are you going to keep touching my feet? I mean, of course, they belong to you and I don’t mind you touching them for as long as you like, but the rubbing is really ticklish.”

“Oh, so you can still feel, huh?”

“Just as much as I could when still aliiive, nnnm...!” Oh yeah, she can still hear and see, too...

“How about taste?”

“T-Taste?! How do my feet taste?! Um, well, I-I could never make my Master lick my feet! I would just die, again!” Oh crap, I didn’t realize she’d take it that way. I was just wondering if she could taste things with her tongue. “But, but! If you insist, Master, I wouldn’t really mind you licking my feet. Go ahead, lick to your hearts content... Suck on them, even,” said Elulu while thrusting her toes before me. Why did she look kinda happy?

...Well, there’s a phrase about only failures of men turning women down. Nobody would judge me for licking them, right? I mean, she’s asking me to herself. And she looks happy about it.

“What’s wrong, Master? If you don’t want to lick them, I can leave.” Ah! She brought me back to my senses.

“Er, well. I was actually asking if you still had your sense of taste, but.”

“.........”

“....Uh, Elulu?”

“F-F-F-F-FORGIVE ME MASTEEEEEER!” Elulu immediately prostrated before me, so fast her head dug into the ground a little. It was fair to say that I had never seen such a power prostration before in my life, and probably never would again.

“You’ve got a surprisingly sadistic side to you, huh?”

“I’m sorry! My personality got kinda twisted because people called me surprisingly boring for an elf for my whole life!” Yeah, sorry, I also thought you were kinda just a boring elf the first time I saw you.

“Aaah, what a mess! I think it’s harder for me to control my emotions now that I’m a ghost, or something...”

“It’s like your spirit is on display.”

“Right! It’s like my spirit is just completely out! So please, forgive meeee!” So she said, sinking into the floor. The legend has grown deeper, literally.

Anyway, I forgave Elulu and somehow managed to drag her up out of the floor. I’ll have to ask to lick her feet some other time.

Rei the High Priestess Wants to Drink Your Blood

(This happens before all the Dragon business at Goren.)

Rei, the High Priestess of Beddhism, was actually a vampire. But in exchange for the curse of having no attack power, she had none of the classic weak points of a vampire. Even the insatiable lust for blood her species was infamous for was only a weak impulse, and could be largely satisfied by drinking water.

But that said nothing of tastes and favorites. Rei could easily live a normal life just by eating typical foods, but that didn’t mean she didn’t drink blood, and it didn’t mean she didn’t want to drink blood. Which was why she had her head slumped on the table after eating.

“I wanna drink bloooood...” Vampires were monstrous blood suckers, and with that in mind a vampire that didn’t drink blood was just a monstrous sucker. But since Rei had zero attack power on top of that, she could hardly even be called monstrous. Was she just a sucker, then? She was forced to ponder her existence to such a degree that she was close to achieving some form of enlightenment, which to be fair, was more or less what a High Priestess was expected to do.

Anyway, point being, she wanted to drink blood to preserve her self-image. She wasn’t the slave to a beastly instinct or anything like that, no. Her desire was like that of a child wanting her favorite melon roll.

“It doesn’t have to be human blood. I’ll even take monster blood... Oh, but not Goblin blood. That stuff tastes like rotten clay, and the aftertaste is so strong it makes me want to puke.”

“If rotten clay’s what you don’t like, how about a Golem?”

“A monster without blood is out of the question. It’s not like I want to eat normal clay here.” Rei responded to Kinue’s joke with a wave of her hands.

“What about your own bloooood?”

“...That would hurt, and I couldn’t even draw blood thanks to my zero attack power.” Neruneh’s teasing was nothing new. “At this point I’m even willing to go for tomato juice... Actually, no, I’m not. That doesn’t even make sense. The only thing they have in common is being red. It’d be better than Goblin blood, at least.” Rei let out a heavy sigh. “Plus, think about it. I need someone’s help just to suck blood at all, even.”

“Want to drink my blooood?”

“No. I’ve decided to not drink the blood of my comrades.” That was partially due to Rei’s pride. Nothing bad would come from going against that decision, but suppose for a second that she did drink her comrade’s blood once. She would want to do it again when she got thirsty again, and at that point she might be thinking of her comrade as nothing but food. That would be, in a way, betraying her Master, who viewed all of them as comrades. It just wasn’t right.

“I don’t really mind if you view me as fooood.”

“I do! Maybe if you were a Goblin.” All that said, Neruneh’s neck really was appealing. Oh, how she wanted to drive her fangs into it. Not that they would break skin or anything.

“In conclusion, I wonder if there’s any way for me to responsibly drink blood.”

Kinue lifted up a quiet hand at Rei’s question. “What if you healed the wounded by licking their wounds?”

“I see! That would let me drink blood under the cover of... Okay, no it wouldn’t. Healing is done through Restoration magic.” Rei the High Priestess sometimes performed healings at the church. But naturally, it would stick out if she suddenly bent over to lick the wounds.

“What if you kidnap a villager and drain them of blooood?”

“...You’re a bit evil sometimes, Neruneh, aren’t you? That won’t work, the villagers are Master’s property.” Going after travelers and merchants was no good either. They didn’t want to start any rumors.

“What about animal blood? You could have Niku hunt rabbits for you.”

“I don’t like drinking blood from corpses. Also, animals smell gross.”

“You’re pretty picky, Reeei.”

“...I-I mean, isn’t everyone picky about their favorite foods?”

Kinue tried putting herself in Rei’s shoes. Indeed, she did enjoy cleaning more when there were a bunch of nooks and crannies packed with a lot of dust.

Neruneh also tried putting herself in Rei’s shoes. Now that she mentioned it, she did enjoy her research more when it demanded she use strange magic in odd ways.

“Very well, I accept your pickiness.”

“Same heeere.”

“Thank you, my friends.” Rei exchanged firm handshakes with both of them.

“So. What should I do, then?”

“Let us consult Master.”

“Agreeeeed. I’m sure Master could cook up some wonderful solution in a snaaap.”

“Maybe he will gift me with a human I can kill.”

“...Like a thieeeef? That’s possibllle. I want some living bodies for experimentation toooo!”

In any case, when in doubt, consult with your superior. Keima, Rokuko, and Ichika had all taught them the importance of this concept.

“There are some blood packs in the DP Catalog. Want some? It’s probably human blood.”

“What?!” all three of them said together. The ease with which Keima instantly solved the problem made their loyalty for him grow only stronger. Also, after some experimentation, it turned out that RH- O blood tasted the best.

A Water Free Family Magma Bath

There was a dungeon called the [Flame Caverns] in Tsia Mountain. In the corner of the bottom floor of this dungeon, there was a married couple of Dungeon Core and Dungeon Master gathered with their daughter. There rested a sea of magma. Somewhat sticky red bubbles rose along the surface while radiating so much heat that the air would hurt to look at it.

If a human was theoretically pushed into that magma, they would burn to ashes immediately and leave only bones, which would then melt in it as well. It was the perfect place to commit a murder that left no evidence, and if you asked what a whole family was doing in front of it...

...The answer would be preparing to take a bath together.

Salamander, Red Dragon, Flame Dragon. It was a family of beings made from fire that were not bothered in the least by heat that was fatal to humans. Fatal to other Dragons, really, but a source of invigorating energy to them. A pool of magma was just a bathtub to them.

“Yippeee!” yelled the Flame Dragon Igni before leaping into the pool of magma—the bathtub.

“C’mon Igni! Don’t fuckin’ jump into the bath!” Ittetsu the Salamander chastised Igni, who was excited to be bathing with her family again after so long.

“Wohoooo!” Redra, in her enormous Red Dragon form, ran past Ittetsu and leapt in after her daughter.

“Seriously?! What’re you doing, Redra?!”

“Relax, Ittetsu! You jump in too! Here, I’ll even catch you!” Redra outstretched her arms to welcome Ittetsu in.

“Don’t just show your fuckin’ belly like that!” Ittetsu, embarrassed by Redra’s bold act of displaying her stomach, looked away. They were the only ones there, though, and no Dragon would be peering at it with lewd intent.

“What’s the problem?! You and I are partners! Married!”

“Our daughter’s right there! What if she copies you somewhere else?!”

“Ahaha, even I would only do that with someone speciaaal. Dad, are you embarrassed?”

“What of it?! She’s my wife, I get to be embarrassed if I want to!”

“...Now you’re just embarrassing me!” Ittetsu’s reaction to his daughter’s teasing was actually touching, which made Redra flop her tail with embarrassment. Lava was sent flying everywhere.

Ultimately, Ittetsu politely stepped into the magma rather than jumping into it.

“Wheeew...”

“You’re like an old man, Dad!”

“...No, I’m not.” Ittetsu got a little depressed from his daughter’s comment. He sunk down to his head and let out a sigh. “I’ve just been busy lately ’cause of all the invaders. Thanks to a certain fuckin’ someone.”

“You’re welcome!”

“I’m not fuckin’ happy about it. Y’know we can do just fine without invaders, yeah?”

“Awww, but what’s the big deal? It lets you do your job, and I’m the one beating them up anyway. Wait. Are you even doing any work at all, Dad?”

“I am! I’ve gotta place chests and monsters to guide ’em around! You know how fuckin’ hard it is to not accidentally kill ’em?!”

“Mmmm? Well, I’m still the one doing the most work! Right, Mom?”

“Well, yeah! They’re all here for you, after all!”

Ittetsu grunted and stuck his face into the magma, blowing bubbles beneath it.

“Dooon’t poooouuut! Ahahaha, you’re so cute, Ittetsu!”

“I’m not fuckin’ pouting.” Redra swam over to where Ittetsu was and patted his head with hearty smacks. Igni thought to herself that only Mom would call her crusty old dad cute.

“...Hey, Mom. I’ve been wondering this for a bit, but why are you calling Dad Ittetsu? And where did that name even come from?”

“What, I never said? Well, you know Keima from next door, right? Turns out, humans can’t say [112] in their puny language! So he came up with Ittetsu! Apparently it means the same thing in his language or something! Fancy, huh?!”

“Yeah, it’s the language he knew back in the world he’s from, or something... Pfff.”

“So! Me and Rokuko... Ahhh, that’s our neighbor, Keima’s wife! We have tea parties, and I gotta transform into a human for them, right? Well, it’s easier to call him Ittetsu when I’m in human form! So it kinda just stuck with me! And here we are!”

“I like bein’ called [112] more, y’know...”

“Geez, I call you that when we’re alone, don’t I?! Like last night, when—”

“GAAAAH?! Y-Y-You idiot! What’re you trying to say in front of our daughter?!”

Igni didn’t get why Ittetsu was panicking, but she did think that it was nice for a husband and wife to be on good terms with each other. Also, that they sure flirted with each other a lot.

“Anyway, what’s a tea party?! It sure sounds fun! I want to go to one too!”

“Yeah?! Then you’ll have to master your human form before our next one! It’s hard to hold the cup with Dragon hands!”

“Okay! And, like, I’m already mastering it with the blocks that Uncle Keima gave me!” Igni snorted out fire breath. The temperature of the magma heated up a bit.

“Rokuko reminded me of this, but did I ever tell you how to have kids, Igni?”

“You said you would when I laid my first egg, right? I still haven’t!”

“Oh, alright! Alright! No worries, then!”

Ittetsu kept quietly bubbling the magma, unable to keep up with the conversation.

The Silkies

“Aaah, so busy, so busy!”

“Hey, there’s one of the Silkies. They sure are running all over the place.”

Goren was filled with people due to the Dragon. There was plenty of work to be done, and it was a daily sight to see the green-haired green-clothed little girls that called themselves the Silkies running around, hard at work.

“Aaaah, so much work to do! So busy, so busy!”

“Hey, there’s another. Another busy day for them, it looks like.” One of the Silkies ran by carrying a mountain of laundry. Did some think that she was busy precisely because she was washing by hand instead of using {Purification}? Yes.

“Okaaay, here is your delivery.”

“Right! Thanks, uhhhh, Hanna?”

“Pio.”

“My bad, my bad. Thanks, Pio.”

The Silkies were even doing deliveries, particularly to food stands. They were all busy, but they would always joyously accept any work offered to them. But only work within the town.

To be honest, the Silkies were all such devoted workers that they even sometimes fought over who would get new jobs.

“Hold on, Nicole! You took my cleaning job, didn’t you?!”

“N-No, Hanna, I’m Pio! It’s me!”

“Wait, really? I must have mixed you two up.”

“Maybe you did it yourself and you just forget. That’s possible, isn’t it?”

“...It’s possible.” On a whim, she asked the villager who had just been given a delivery which of them had brought it to him. “He says Pio did.”

“That was just Nicole lying. Also, I think she did the cleaning herself.”

The Silkies were struggling to tell even themselves apart.

But Goren was a town filled with male adventurers, and they loved the flair provided by cute little girls running all over the place. It was a nice, simple feeling. But then it happened, on one such day.

“I’ll go help with the farming!”

“Bye, Nicole. I’ll go serve tables.”

“Hanna, good luck with your work here.”

“You too, Pio. I’ve gotta go work over there.”

The three of them gathered, then dispersed immediately. They truly were hard workers.

“...Huh? Wasn’t there four of them just now?” In a stroke of bad luck, one of the villagers finally noticed.

“Hey.”

“Hm? What’s up?”

“The Silkies is a group of three, right?”

“Yeah, three. There’s Hanna, Nicole, and Pio. What of it?”

“...Feels like I just saw four of them together.”

“You must’ve miscounted. They all look the same.”

“Yeah, maybe.” Or maybe they actually were Silkies, and could duplicate using their house fairy powers.

“Well, anyway. No matter who they are, they’re girls from Keima’s place, so.”

“...Oh yeah. Keima’s involved with them. They’re so normal most of the time I forgot about that.” When odd things happened in Goren, they usually could be traced back to town chief Keima. Everyone living in town was familiar with that by now and accepted it.

However, the adventurer still decided to ask about it. He went to Keima and asked how many Silkies there were. In a normal town he would just get a confused shake of the head, but Keima looked up a bit before replying.

“Ah, well... I hired their relatives to help out for a bit, so there’s actually more than three of them now.”

“Wait. Those triplets have more family?”

“Triplets? Nah, I’m pretty sure they’re sextuplets.”

“....Wha?!” A shocking truth had been uncovered.

“That’s how they’re doing so many jobs. All of them are running around all over the place.”

“Er, well, I guess with that many siblings they’ve all gotta work to keep the family fed.” Sextuplets meant a family of eight at the very least. That would cost four times as much to feed as a normal couple of two.

“The Silkies sure are working hard. I can feel the comfylove.”

“Comf— A-Ah, right.” (Incidentally, “comfylove” was the Beddhist term for “heart-warming love”.)

“They couldn’t have asked their own relatives for help?”

“They did, and coincidentally they’re related to another set of sextuplets. That also look like them.” In one fell swoop, the triplets turned to twelve-lets.

“I dunno the exact numbers, but that should be about right.”

“...Sure sounds complicated.”

“Pretty much, but we’ve gotta hire more since we’re so busy. Hiring relatives is safe and reliable. That said, I’m letting Kinue handle all this, and I don’t know the exact number. All I know for sure is that there’s at least six of them working here.” At least six. That would explain why they could be seen all over the place. Six little girls in town, all looking exactly the same...

.........

Well, it’s fine, they’re all cute. The villager decided not to think about it.

“Town chief, if there’s so many of them, mind if I marry one?”

“It’s not gonna happen.” Keima shot down the villager’s absentminded request.

“At least let me dream!”

“If you wanna dream, do it in your bed.”

“You’ve got a point. Oyasuminasai!” The villager was a faithful Beddhist, so he decided to just get in bed and live out his dream as a dream. Though even in his dream, they all turned him down, saying “I don’t really want to be with someone who would be fine with any of us.”