Chapter 3—???’s Perspective

This country is rotten.

We can say such for a fact because this entire empire operates on a rotten foundation—dungeons, dens of objective evil. Dungeons are foul things born from a demon that calls itself Darkness and opposes the one true god, the Light God. In this empire, they were allowed to exist close to cities, and in some cases within the cities themselves.

Despite the fact that new research funded by the Holy Kingdom has proven that dungeons stymie the circulation of mana and rot the world from the inside out, the people of the Empire avert their eyes from the truth and make no attempt to change. As a result, our only option is to make them understand through force.

Our plans began with bribing a noble from the Empire. In exchange for just a slight amount of money, we succeeded in obtaining enormously valuable information. Unbelievably, the imperial princess had left the capital on a journey with only a single guard.

Some said that it was a trap, that it was a body double being used as bait to draw us out. But we had already learned and went to great lengths to confirm that the imperial princess hated traveling with guards, and at times pretended to be her own body double to avoid them. That information also cost a slight amount of money, but it was of course a natural expense.

Unfortunately, despite moving immediately to secure the princess after learning of this, she had seven bodyguards by the time we found her. Still, that would be much easier than dealing with the small army of bodyguards she would normally have. After all, her seven companions included slaves, women, and children.

We took action to secure the princess.

Our first trap was laid in a small town with an inn one day away from Tsia on carriage. An informant of ours informed us of the day a carriage emblazoned with a noble crest left Tsia. We gathered the necessary strength to overpower the princess and waited.

...However, two days passed and there was no sign of her. We noticed something was off and checked with magic tools to see what had happened, whereupon we learned that she had taken a different route to Mikan. We hurried there as fast as we could.

As an aside, we would be charging both our country and this rotten empire for the magic stone used in the process.

It was a dangerous route with constant monster attacks that offered no respite, but we powered through with only a few injuries. We arrived at Mikan in pursuit of the princess.

A cooperator located in Mikan informed us that the imperial princess was staying within the city. That confirmed she truly had taken the dangerous route. We interpreted that as reasonable behavior for the rotten princess of a rotten empire—she had worked her guards to the bone to save only a mere few days.

We handed a small sum of money to the Mikan cooperator and learned that the imperial princess had taken an extermination quest for an Elk Bear. On top of that, she would be completing it with even fewer guards than she already had.

It was the perfect opportunity. We went to the forest first and awaited the imperial princess’s arrival. Of course, we hid within the trees so that forest beasts and monsters wouldn’t attack us.

They came just as our information had suggested. The beautiful girl wearing clothes far too fancy for a forest could safely be identified as the imperial princess.

...That is the princess, right? Her chest is flat as a board, but surely that isn’t a prince.

She had only two guards with her, again as our information suggested—though it was more like one guard. The other was clearly a child. And a beastkin, at that. Judging by the quality of her clothes, she was probably a sex slave. At which point we realized something truly awful.

The position of sex slave was the best possible outcome for a lowly beastkin slave. One endowed with such an honor would surely be smiling happily at all times. And yet, her expression was as flat as could be, entirely as if all her face muscles had died. Ah, but of course. She was being used as bait to draw out the Elk Bear.

We watched from a distance and saw, as expected, the beastkin be sent ahead first to begin their search.

...Before long, an Orc appeared. They defeated it without any issue. Her male guard was quite skilled.

Next came a Great Boar. We witnessed the cocky princess step forth to fight it herself, presumably with her own magic.

That was our chance! The foolish princess had willingly stepped away from her guards. No better opportunity would come to kidnap her.

We sent two of our men to get her. They approached the princess using the Great Boar as cover. We had sent two men after one woman to secure our success. Our patience would be rewarded soon.

Unfortunately, tragedy struck from nowhere. The princess’s {Stone Pyre} couldn’t support the Great Boar’s weight! Such was the result of the inexperienced imperial princess attempting to punch above her weight. It was a fairly common mistake for higher ups unfamiliar with real battlefields to make.

If nothing was done, the Great Boar would crush the princess. What could we do? Before we found an answer, the Great Boar suddenly changed direction in midair and launched towards our companions.

Impossible.

And so, our men were flung back by the force of the Great Boar’s body blow. The male guard who had knocked aside the boar said “Nice work” to the princess. H-Had this been their goal all along?!

There, we realized. We realized who the guard really was.

Wataru Nishimi, the Fallen Hero. A wretched Hero who had turned his back on the duty given to him by the Light God, choosing not to destroy dungeons but to actually work to the benefit of the Dungeon Empire. Despite being a Hero, a direct servant of the Light God, he had fallen to our enemies.

...We would need to rethink our plans since we were dealing with Wataru the Fallen Hero. We gathered our wounded allies and fled undetected.

As an aside, we would be charging both our country and this rotten empire for the medical bill.

We rethought our plans and decided to kidnap the princess in Donsama. A cooperator informed us that the imperial princess had developed an interest in food stands. It was probably another case of rich people getting kicks from spending extravagant amounts of money on commoner goods. That was one way to gain popularity, but we would be exploiting it for our own ends.

We sent a man under our influence to buy a stand near the Adventurer’s Guild. Our goal was to poison her. There was a part inside fish where it was hard to notice poison. Indeed, the guts. We would fill the guts with poison and feed it to the imperial princess. Her guards would send her to a hospital where a doctor on our side would wait for her to be alone, then kidnap her.

Furthermore, this poison could not be cured by an average poison-curing magic tool! The poison was held back by being expensive and weak in effect, but while within her body she would find herself increasingly weakened over time. It would take a man of enormous strength to endure the poison unfazed. Naturally, a sheltered imperial princess was no such man.

The plan was perfect! One worthy of a cash reward, surely.

“Here’s a special one for a cute girl like you,” our agent said while successfully delivering the poisoned fish to the princess. Now we just had to wait for her in the hospital... or so we thought, but unbelievably, Wataru the Fallen Hero removed the poisoned parts from the princess’s fish. On top of that, he even went above and beyond by eating the poison to destroy it.

That was simply cruel. Simply going too far. We wept at the sight of the expensive poison we’d bought being used as snacks to accompany beer.

When we emotionally recovered, it was time for our next plan. Our target was in North Donsama. They would have to use a ferry to reach the south of the city. With one exception, that is. That being going by foot.

As ludicrous as it sounds, Donsama made a sport of attempting to run across the river, and Wataru owned an extraordinary pair of legs that had successfully done just that. However, this was yet another opportunity for us to strike.

Wataru the Fallen Hero would run to the other side of the river, then the princess and her other guards would follow in a ferry. They would be separated, then, and her other guards were no doubt small fry compared to him. We would steal the entire ferry with the princess on it and Wataru far away! It was a strategy perfect in its simplicity!

Thus, we paid a small sum to purchase a ferry. We were ready for them to come at any moment.

However! Unbelievably! He crossed the river carrying the princess! He even ran back then back again as if to mock us!

One could say that this unprecedented feat was a reminder of the strength that Light God disciples wielded. We would surely be rejoicing if said strength was not being used against us!

And so, our attempt to kidnap the princess in Donsama failed as well.

However... That was not our only ploy involving Donsama. In truth, we had been spending years provoking the north and south sides of town into a ferocious rivalry. One day tensions would boil over and a fatal, merciless civil war would break out! Indeed, though we did fail to kidnap the princess here, victory would ultimately be ours!

With that inalienable truth putting strength in our hearts, we headed to the next city.

As an aside, we would be charging both our country and this rotten empire for the poison and boat.

This time, we struck out first and got ahead of them on the road. There was a group of bandits camping out by the road leading to Corky. We had cooperators in their midst, whom we contacted and directed them to ambush the princess on her way—paying only a small fee to ensure their loyalty.

The bandit group’s strategy was to non-suspiciously block the road using a fallen carriage, then exploit the kindness of any who approached to help by launching a surprise attack. Truth be told, their strategy was so well known that the carriage would serve as a stalling measure at best, but they were a group of fools unwilling to learn and grow.

That said, their foolishness would serve us well here. Their strategy would draw Wataru the Fallen Hero from the wagon, naturally leaving the princess defenseless within. The small fry guards he left behind would be fully incapable of beating back the wave of foes that would soon crash upon them.

We would kidnap the princess within the wagon while Wataru the Fallen Hero was distracted by battle elsewhere. We didn’t even have to involve ourselves in the battle directly. We could just sit and take the princess when they brought her back. It was, indeed, a perfect plan.

And in reality, the plan did draw Wataru and two others from the wagon. We had not predicted that they would have a merchant accompanying them, but the wagon in front emblazoned with a noble’s crest left no room for doubt. Just as we thought our mission had finally succeeded, it happened.

Multiple Gargoyles were summoned around the wagon! Unbelievably, some of the remaining guards knew summoning magic. Not to mention that there were a huge amount of the Gargoyles. There were so many that they could only be explained by everyone still in the carriage knowing the spell {Summon Gargoyle}... Even the beastkin slave? Impossible. It couldn’t be true. In which case, there was another guard on the level of a Hero, or perhaps several that were approaching Hero level? That was more possible. Learning this information was surely worth the failure of the plan. Our cooperators within the bandit group were taken down along with it, but we ourselves were safe. It wasn’t a problem.

As an aside, we would be charging both our country and this rotten empire for the money we paid the bandits.

Curses. Our last chance is in Corky. She will make it back to the capital if we don’t get her here.

However, everything prior to this was just a preamble. Now is where our true power will shine. We will make use of all the experience and information we have accumulated up until this point. We shall obtain the imperial princess and strike down the merciless iron hammer of justice on this rotten empire! And also earn back the money and materials we have lost!

# Keima’s Perspective

“The truth is, Princess Mephy is being targeted.”

“Uh.”

Wataru broke the shocking news to me that evening. We had just been eating a normal old dinner, yet he casually dropped a bomb while grabbing some soy sauce. Our meal continued calmly.

Wataru poked a fork into a sausage, ate it, then continued. “Princess Mephy is being targeted.”

“Eheheh, I say!” Emmymephy said with a fairly self-satisfied grin, like one a girl might have after being flirted with by her crush.

“...Oh, what, you mean she’s being targeted in a romantic sense?”

“I believe they want to kidnap her so that they can ransom her for an enormous sum of money or possibly some other demand.”

“Dang, that’s pretty serious.”

“Eheheh, I say!” Emmymephy laughed shyly, as if embarrassed. What’s there to be embarrassed and shy about here?

“Well, I only learned this myself today, or rather I talked to Princess Mephy about it today. I wish she had mentioned it sooner.”

“Forgive me. I didn’t expect it to be this bad, I say.”

“Errr, y’know. Wataru? Did ye have to tell all of us about this too?”

“Well, kinda. There’s something I want to ask too.”

All eight of us were gathered at the dinner table today. Wataru had invited us all to eat at a bar out of nowhere earlier.

“This ain’t somethin’ to talk about while drinkin’, and I’ve already got some beer in me.”

“A single mug of ale won’t get you drunk, Gozou. And don’t worry, it’s not that serious of a discussion.”

“Well, alright then.” Gozou stabbed a potato with his fork and chewed it down before mercilessly washing it down with ale.

“So... why’s Princess Mephy getting targeted?”

“I mean, because she’s the imperial princess. There could be a million reasons why if you look at all the possibilities, so don’t even bother.”

Honestly, fair. “Eheheh, I say.”

Again. Why are you getting embarrassed yet proud, Emmymephy? You look happy about this. Why?

“All that said. It was pretty obvious that Princess Mephy would be targeted and planning for this is basically standard procedure. She’s the best bait you could ask for. We knew we could use her to cut down the Empire’s enemies a little while coming to get you.”

“So the enemies are weak enough to just be cut down the day you learn they exist, huh...?” I couldn’t help but feel a little sympathy for them. Haku was an expert at mercilessly crushing her enemies like this.

“I say, there is no greater joy than to serve the First Empress.”

“You really think so?”

“Most all Empire citizens do. Isn’t that right, Sir Wataru?”

“Well, I’m not from the Empire in the first place, so... What about you, Gozou?” asked Wataru, casually shooting Mephy down.

“Huh? Eh, I’m part o’ the Ivory Church, so yea. If this is servin’ Lady Haku then I’m all for it.”

“Oh, this First Empress that Princess Mephy’s been talking about is Lady Haku. It didn’t click for me until now, but alright. I’m in it too.”

As thoroughbred adventurers, both Gozou and Roppe agreed with Emmymephy. Incidentally, they both had Beddhism as a sub-religion.

“Feels kinda awk that my main dig is the Food God. Guess I’m all about helping Master instead, then?”

“My primary religion is Beddhism, so I... nom nom... prefer to serve Master.”

Ichika and Kuro prioritized me. Thanks ol’ friends.

“I don’t mind helping out if she asks. Same for you, right Keima?”

“Uhhh, well, I feel like Haku hasn’t actually asked us anything...”

Meanwhile, Rokuko and I were pretty nonchalant about it. Yeah, I guess Haku’s influence in the Empire really is massive. That makes sense, given she founded it and all.

“Right, anyway. I wanted to ask all of you for your help... I’ll just go ahead and say that Princess Mephy’s going to be kidnapped tomorrow,” Wataru said, forcing us back on topic.

“Uhhhh. You know that for a fact?”

“Yes. The fortune telling office in the capital contacted us and told us that she would be.”

“Fortune telling office?”

“Yes. We have one of those in the Empire. They’re not quite divine predictions coming from the gods, but they can predict the future for sure. Oh, and this is a secret, okay?”

“Maybe you shouldn’t be blabbing it out in a bar filled with people, then.”

“Well, all they can normally do is predict the weather.”

“Glorified weathermen, then. Great... Anyway, if you know she’s going to be kidnapped, can’t you just take steps to stop it from happening?”

“It’s dangerous to work against predictions, and unless it’s really serious we usually just let them happen.”

Apparently, stopping a prediction from occurring once would mess up all predictions for quite some time. They were predicting the weather in part to make sure predictions were still accurate. On top of that, the degree to which the prediction was foiled would impact how long the fortune telling would be damaged, so when changing it they would try to minimize what they changed.

For example, in this case, stopping the princess from being kidnapped entirely would damage fortune telling for ten years, while foiling the kidnapping in the process would damage fortune telling for two years. Faking a kidnapping with Empire soldiers didn’t count, since the action had to be done out of malice like the prediction said. What a pain.

“They predicted for us whether or not Princess Mephy would be safe during this trip despite us baiting out the opposing forces, and apparently they foretold that Princess Mephy would be kidnapped along the way. Though, my {Ultra Good Fortune} just absolutely destroyed every single one of their plots.”

“Whoa, really? Didn’t you not know about the prediction?” That fortune telling office would suck if Wataru could ruin their predictions without even realizing it.

“Hero skills are firmly planted in the realm of the divine. It’s cake for them to overturn a single prediction. Especially always-active passives like mine.”

“Interesting. I guess that means even predictions of the future are just a small factor to consider when planning.”

“It’s nice to know what the weather will be, though.”

“They really are just a bunch of weathermen, huh?”

“Point being, they said not to come back until she gets kidnapped.”

“Seriously?” I get their logic, but I can’t understand why they actually would say that.

“Well, in conclusion, let Princess Mephy get kidnapped once. Thanks.”

“I say, I’m counting on you.” I don’t see what you expect me to do.

“Won’t it be way too dangerous to let Princess Mephy get kidnapped? What if they’re trying to kill her? What if a fate worse than death awaits her?”

“Apparently the prediction said we’d rescue her safely. Once she gets kidnapped, we can immediately move to rescue her before anything happens.”

Niku’s hand popped into the air.

“Yes, Kuro?”

“How far do they have to go before the kidnapping is successful?”

“...They probably just have to get her back to their hideout, I think.”

Guess we’ve just gotta be careful and let her get kidnapped. “Sheesh, thanks for wrapping us up in this junk. Could you take a second and think about how it feels for us?”

“Hahaha, well, I’m getting wrapped up in this myself too... It’s my job, I guess.” Wataru looked uncharacteristically down.

“Eheheh, I say.” Emmymephy once again laughed shyly. Seriously, what’s with you? What is there to be shy about this?

In order to invite the kidnapping, we had Emmymephy walk a not unnaturally far distance away from us while we kept an eye on her. Rokuko, Niku, and Ichika walked around Corky with her while Wataru and I stealthily watched from behind. Gozou and Roppe kept to their beer drinking. We were passing it off as Rokuko being a noble and a friend of Emmymephy’s. Niku was Rokuko’s servant, and Ichika was Emmymephy’s maid.

...Huh? What’s Gozou and Roppe doing? Oh, just drinking like normal, sending the signal that we guards are being lazy. Though in reality they’re just pretending to drink, and they’re ready to move the moment something happens.

“...Ye know, it ain’t so easy to pretend to get drunk from water.”

“You can drink a little. I’d be suspicious if your face didn’t get red, after all.”

“Good point! Alright then!”

He was chugging down beer while trying to say his bright-red cheeks weren’t red at all, but I would pretend I didn’t see anything. We would be fine with Wataru around anyway.

“I won’t be getting too close, though.”

Still, I’m counting on you, Wataru.

In any case, it was time for the princess to begin her tour of Corky. Look at how many openings she has. Come and kidnap her so we can be done with this mess, thanks. I want to get to bed already.

First came a refined breakfast at an open cafe... styled bar. They ordered food based on Ichika’s recommendation. Wataru and I sat at a different table and ate too, since ordering for groups was cheaper or something.

“What are you getting, Wataru? I’m gonna have the bread, cheese, and sausage.”

“I think I’ll just get the same thing.”

It was the standard breakfast set here. We paid, and we must have come at a good time since the food was delivered in the blink of an eye.

Ohoho, this cheese and sausage tastes pretty good. They must have been smoked. They took some real chewing to get through and would probably fill my stomach just fine. Cheese and sausage really do go well together. I could get used to this kinda thing, really.

“This bread is nice, isn’t it? Reminds me of barley bread.”

“Yeah, I can understand why this set is the standard order. Goren’s bread tastes better, though.”

“Of course it does. You’re using yeast to ferment the bread, right?”

Indeed, and we had learned that from resources found in the dungeon. Oh, though I could also say I learned it from my parents. I’m claiming that my parents were Japanese after all.

“Oh, mind if I order some beer?”

“Yes? What’re you even talking ’bout, Wataru?”

“The standard set is supposed to include ale! We’re missing so much by not getting some of the ale too! It’s the finishing touch, the cherry on top that makes everything work!”

“Hahaha. Don’t drink while on the freaking job.”

We finished eating faster than Rokuko’s group and started to wait for their next move. But it seemed like Emmymephy wanted to use this opportunity to spread her wings and really enjoy her touring, so she finished fast too and urged Rokuko to finish faster. She glanced this way, and after I gave a nod she and the others stood up.

“...What was all that about? It sure seemed like some meaningful eye contact.”

“Yeah?”

“If I were to translate it, I’d say the conversation went like this: ‘So, Keima, are you two ready? Can we leave?’ ‘Sure, feel free to leave whenever.’ ‘Okie dokie.’ Am I right?”

“Yup. You’ve got a nice eye for these things, Wataru.”

“Figures.” Wataru shrugged his shoulders with a shake of his head, but regardless, we followed after Rokuko’s group.

They first went to a weapon shop. Though despite the name, they actually sold armor too. The majority of shops in Corky dealt with smithed metal, and I was pretty sure I heard they didn’t have any Magic Blades.

“We went over to see Kantara’s dad, uh, Untara I think? He gave us a bunch of stuff, like, mythril weapons. He gave our weapons a checkup too.” By the way, Siesta came back with a happy “Nnn!” after being repaired.

“Oh, nice. Untara’s one of the more famous smiths in this town despite all the competition. But wait... He gave you mythril weapons? You didn’t buy them?”

“He said we could take whatever we wanted after we brought him a gift.”

“...And what was that gift?”

“Just some Japanese wine from Goren and Phoenix eggshells.”

“Okay, makes sense.”

I guess it does. Either way, we peered into a nearby store ourselves while keeping an eye on Rokuko’s group.

“I’ve been wondering about this, but our black hair stands out a lot, doesn’t it?”

“Hm? Ahhh, well, I guess it does. Especially since I’m famous here.”

“Do you have any magic tools that can change what you look like? For camouflage purposes and all that.”

“No, but why not just disguise yourself normally?”

So he said, but I didn’t have any disguises on hand. I could transform into anyone I wanted using {Ultra Transformation}, but I had no intention of telling that to Wataru.

“Oh, what about cross dressing?”

“...I’ll pass on that. For now I’ll just buy a hat or helmet from this place.”

Wataru and I both grabbed some nearby hats.

“Oh, that hat looks good on you.”

“Yeah? So does yours. You look kinda like a barbarian in it.” Reason being, the store dealt with fur goods, and we had grabbed fur hats with the animal’s heads still on it. We could disguise our black hair within all the black fur.

“Foxes kinda suit you, Keima. In more ways than one.”

“Are those elk antlers on that bear head? Didn’t you hunt one of those earlier?”

We cut our conversation short. Wataru paid for the hats; they were a necessary expense for our trip. Oh, looks like they finished their own shopping. I wonder what they got.

“Hey, looks like they’re going into a clothing store.”

“I see... Oh! Changing rooms are the perfect place to kidnap someone! What do you think, Keima?”

“I think we should keep a close eye on them, then.”

Wataru and I watched over the clothing store. We bought some skewers from a nearby stand so as to not look suspicious just standing there. Skewered meat stands were pretty much everywhere. I wonder what kind of meat this is, though. It’s kinda chewy.

“It tastes better the more you chew. There’s a nice amount of salt on it too.”

“Oh yeah, there’s an ocean near the capital, isn’t there?”

We talked while gnawing our way through the chewy meat. It was actually convenient for our purposes that it took so long to eat the skewers, since it gave us an excuse to stand around for longer.

“Nom. By the way, Wataru. Your main weapon’s a sword, right? Are you using some kind of special Hero sword? You must be.”

“My sword, huh? Yeah, it is technically a Holy Blade.”

“Is that different from a Magic Blade?”

“Ah, well, they’re called Holy Blades but they’re actually the same thing as Magic Blades. I was given this one by Haku, and it’s called Air. I’m sure you can guess that it’s a Wind-type Magic Blade.”

A Wind-type, huh? I wonder if it can launch a whirlwind after you slice the air.

“What about your Magic Blade, Keima?”

“Oh, I use Siesta. I guess I never told you what it does? It puts people to sleep just like a Beddhist blade should. I use it during Beddhist mass,” I explained while patting Siesta’s sheath. That reminds me. I wonder what Uzou and Muzou are up to. Not that I really care, honestly.

“By put people to sleep, you mean it gives people the sleep status effect?”

“Yeah. By the way, the wielder gets sleepy first, since they’re the closest to it.”

“...Is it even usable, then? Feels like some kind of trap to me.”

“What’re you talking about? It’s the best Magic Blade I could ask for. I can sleep whenever I want.”

“Riiight...” Wataru said with a resigned nod for some reason. “That is the perfect sword for you.”

“Yep, it sure is. This baby’s gonna be on my hip for the rest of my life. Want me to unsheathe it a bit?”

“Nah, I’m good.”

No need to be shy, it’s fi— Oh, right, we’re in the middle of work.

“This reminds me, I was thinking of buying a staff to use as a weapon.”

“Oh, a staff? So you can look more like a mage?”

“Yeah. I got a mythril ingot for it from Untara. Know a good magic shop for this kind of thing?”

“Well, for magic tools you’ll probably want the Hero Workshop... Though they mostly deal with daily life stuff. You’d probably be better off getting weaponized magic tools from elsewhere. I’ll show you a good place when we reach the capital.”

As our discussion continued, Rokuko and the others casually left the clothing store. They didn’t have anything in hand, which meant they had probably put what they’d bought into {Storage}. Or they just decided to buy all their clothes in the capital.

“...Looks like she didn’t get kidnapped.”

“Yep.”

Our work continued. Their next stop was some merchant’s store, tall and wide in structure with white walls.

“What do they sell there?”

“Slaves.”

“...Slaves, huh? You want to go buy some?”

“No no, I don’t want any. Don’t just go buy human beings like you would buy food from a stand.”

“Oh, I wasn’t planning on buying any either. I could just get some at Tsia if I wanted them. And I sure hope they’re not planning on buying any slaves.”

“Probably not. I would guess they’re baiting out the kidnappers. They’re going inside a building filled with slavers that know how to move people around. There would be no better place to kick off a kidnapping.”

By the way, apparently this store dealt mainly with debt slaves. Criminal slaves were mostly sent to do forced labor at mining dungeons and normal mines. Neat, I didn’t realize there were normal mines too.

“What are those non-dungeon mines like?”

“You don’t have to worry about monsters attacking you there, but the resources are all limited. They basically just exist since if the resources are there, we might as well grab them.”

Stone Golems apparently showed up a lot in mine dungeons. Most buildings in the Empire were actually made of stone thanks to the stone being mined along with the ores.

Anyway, Rokuko and the others left the building before Wataru and I even had the chance to look busy. They seemed pretty mad about something.

“I wonder if someone was rude to them inside or something.”

“Probably not. Who knows, though.”

“It doesn’t matter. Next, next... I feel like they’re gonna be ticked at us if they just come back with nothing having happened. Take care of calming down Princess Mephy for me, alright?”

“Whaaat...”

A Hero deals with the princess. It just makes sense, doesn’t it?

They went to an old fortune telling tent next. There was a pretty sizable line, which Rokuko and the others joined at the end.

“Finally, we’re here! This time it’ll happen for sure.”

“Honestly, I don’t even know what our goal here is anymore.”

“More kidnappings happen in fortune telling tents than anywhere else! It has to happen here!”

Wataru sure is getting into this, huh? He seems pretty confident, but I’m not sure where that confidence is coming from. Someone, please explain.

“Since time immemorial, fortune tellers have been spies or other covert operatives looking to gather information and cause subterfuge!”

“If that were always true, they would just arrest every fortune teller.” And what kind of fortunes are they telling here? Romance fortunes? Neat.

We waited for a bit, watching the line move until finally Rokuko and the others went inside.

“Okay, let’s split up. I’ll go around the back while you keep watch here. Remember to just follow the kidnappers without catching them!”

“Yeah, yeah. I’ll go get you when they just walk out normally.”

And so, Wataru ran to the other side of the tent.

...And despite waiting for a bit, Rokuko and the others didn’t leave. Wait, did it actually work? I thought right before they did in fact leave. That sure took a while. Like four times as long as any other group. Wait, I guess it’s because all of them got their fortune told. Makes sense.

Niku was yawning, probably because she had been pretty bored inside. Alright, time to get Wataru.

“Wait, what?” When I returned with Wataru, Rokuko and the others were gone. Only Niku was left sitting at the side of the road.

“Ah, Master...” Niku stood up on shaky legs, then collapsed onto me. I quickly hugged her to hold her up.

“Uh, Kuro. Where’s Princess Mephy?”

“She was... kidnapped,” Kuro choked out before passing out in my arms.

“H-Hey...! Oh, she’s just sleeping. What in the world...?”

“This isn’t good,” Wataru said, at which point I realized we had completely lost track of Emmymephy and the others. Oh crap, they actually kidnapped her. I mean, that’s what we wanted, but not like this!

＊ ＊ ＊

First, we split into two groups. Wataru would question the fortune teller while I went to tell Gozou and Roppe. We couldn’t leave Niku alone. She was our biggest lead, but she was sleeping soundly on my back with no sign of waking up anytime soon. I would ask her for details as soon as she woke up.

“Uhhhh... Hold on, Keima. How’d they get kidnapped while ye were watchin ’em?”

“I’ve got no excuse, sorry. They were gone the second I took my eyes off them.”

“That’s why guards ain’t supposed to take their eyes off anyone, sheesh.”

After meeting up with Gozou and the others, we went back to the tent where we found Wataru.

“The fortune teller’s responsible.” He immediately revealed he had basically the best source of information possible. It seemed that the fortune teller gave in the second Wataru the Hero put a little pressure on them.

“Oh, great. What the heck did they do?”

“They apparently filled the tent with a relaxation-inducing incense before hypnotizing them. They were hypnotized to get on a nearby carriage, and that was that.”

Hypnotism, huh? I should’ve guessed that existed here. If someone made me sleepy with incense then told me there was a comfy bed in a nearby carriage, I would be dancing on the palm of their hand in no time.

“Though I would guess Princess Mephy was conscious the whole time since she has suggestion resistance.”

“...That’s a thing?”

“She’s royalty. She has the full suite of resistance skills.” Yeah, makes sense. It would be a big deal if someone started controlling the royal family. “Does Rokuko or Ichika have anything like that?”

“Pretty sure Ichika has some poison resistance, but I dunno. I honestly have no idea what Rokuko has.”

In Ichika’s case, she had naturally developed a resistance to poison by eating all sorts of things her entire life. Average poison would make her stomach hurt a bit, but that was about it.

As for Rokuko... Ehhh. For some reason, maybe thanks to all that Absolute Authority stuff, it kinda feels like she’s the type to end up hypnotized and obedient at the drop of a hat. I gotta admit, I’m pretty nervous.

“I guess all we can do is look for them. Gozou, could you tell the cityfolk there’s been a kidnapping and get their help?” asked Wataru.

“You want to make a big deal outta this? Oh, y’know, guess this is a big deal.”

“Making it a big deal will actually help with the prediction, so yeah, go ahead.”

“Alright. See ye later then. Roppe, ye go on to the guild.”

“Roger dodger. See ya.”

Gozou and Roppe immediately went off on their duties.

“I’ll go give a formal announcement to the guards at the gate. I feel bad for everyone in Corky, but the gates are going to be shut down for a while.”

Huh, this sure is escalating quickly. But like Gozou said, the imperial princess getting kidnapped sure is a big deal. I’m worried about Rokuko and Ichika, too.

And so we searched for the imperial princess all night with the people of Corky, but found no trace of her whatsoever. Niku woke up, but all she remembered was that the others had gotten into a nondescript canopied wagon that you might find anywhere. Wataru acted fast, but it was very likely that the wagon had already left Corky. If that were true, we were out of options...

...Except the one I just remembered. Oh crap, I can just look at the map. Rokuko disappearing must have thrown me a lot more off than I expected...

I opened the map through the dungeon menu. Oh, a tag on me. Let’s see here... “Stop forgetting this already.” Riiight... We chatted like this way back when I was kidnapped.

“Guess I can afford to write whatever I want this time since we’ve got 500,000 DP on hand.” I changed the tag attached to me. “Sorry, just remembered.”

Within seconds, the tag changed to “Took you long enough!” The speed of the change really let me feel how mad Rokuko was.

“R-Right.” I changed the tag again, establishing the back and forth between us.

“Are you safe?”

“I’ve been kidnapped! But well, they weren’t rough or anything since we didn’t resist.”

“Good to know. I was worried.”

“Ichika and Mephy are safe too.”

“Where are you now?”

“The forest by Corky. At the bottom of a pond.”

The bottom of a pond? I moved the map to check where Rokuko was, and found her dot along with the others in the forest to the east of Corky.

“Found you on the map. What do you mean you mean by bottom of the pond?”

“I meant what I said. It’s surprisingly comfy here, but come get us as soon as you can.”

“Alright,” I replied, sighing in relief at Rokuko being safe. “By the way, I heard you got hypnotized?”

“I was obviously just acting. I don’t need sleep like humans do.”

That was true. Rokuko could easily ignore some sleepiness if she had her guard up. Lately, she’s been pretty competent about these things.

“Mephy has her resistance, and Ichika just held her breath. You wouldn’t believe how strong being raised by an ocean made her lungs.”

“Wow. Nice going, Ichika.”

“Niku had it rough, though, since she sucked in as much air as possible to lessen the effect on us. She fell over right before we got in the carriage.”

“That explains that. It took until midnight for her to wake up, y’know.” Seems like Niku was working hard in the shadows for us.

“Anyway, I’ll be waiting. Come soon.”

Alright. I had confirmed Rokuko and the others were safe. Now came the question of how to tell other people about this. I could hardly go around saying I had just used dungeon powers to find them.

“...Oh, I’ve got an idea.” I went and found Wataru so I could act on that thought.

“What’s up, Keima? We still haven’t found Mephy or the others.”

“Oh, no, I just thought of a way to find them in a snap. It’s not a guarantee, but I think it’ll probably work.”

“What way?”

I handed Wataru a stick. “Wataru. Let’s gamble it all on your luck. Drop the stick and it’ll point right toward where Rokuko is, guaranteed.”

“Er... Wha?! K-Keima, hold on, that’s basically cheating!”

Indeed. My idea was to rely on Wataru’s {Ultra Good Fortune}.

“Even if the stick falls the wrong way somewhere along the line, with enough tries your luck is sure to guide us to where they are in the end.” Though truth be told, I already knew where Rokuko and the others were. If the stick fell in the wrong way, I could just subtly push things toward the right direction. “So? I say we trust your luck on this one.”

“...This might just work! I think you’ve done it again, Keima.”

Wataru stood the stick on one end, then let it drop. It did in fact end up pointing in the exact direction where Rokuko was on the map. {Ultra Good Fortune} truly was fearsome. Luck was the key to solving all sorts of problems. Just wait, Rokuko. I’ll be right there.

# ???’s Perspective

Having arrived at Corky first, we immediately began advancing our plans to kidnap the imperial princess. First was a carriage to move her, but the wagon we used to arrive would be ideal for leaving fewer tracks. It was a nondescript, canopied wagon that one might find anywhere. We had purchased it for stealth, and definitely not due to a lack of available funds.

Unfortunately, this time we had only two conspirators on our side. This was certainly not due to having run out of funds. Our organization is extremely wealthy with a fluid cash flow. The problem was just how little we had with us. One of our cooperators was a spy from our home country, which made them more than willing to help for a small fee. The problem was the demands of the other cooperator.

Additionally, we would be charging both our country and this rotten empire for the money we used for negotiations.

Right after we had our cooperators secured, the imperial princess and her party arrived in Corky. Our thorough investigation led us to believe that the princess would be playing around in this city as well. Not to mention that the imperial capital was just days away from Corky—that’s to say, she was days away from returning home. She would no doubt be letting extremely loose, and the relief of safely returning home would be the poison that let her guard down. In short: She was in the palm of our hands, and nothing could convince me otherwise.

We took action at once. First, we followed her from behind to observe and learn.

It seemed that she was staying in the family home of one of her guards. Luckily, an inn nearby was perfect for surveillance. Unfortunately for us, the princess—or rather, Wataru the Fallen Hero was extremely crafty. He stayed with her in the same home, perhaps knowing that we were targeting her. To make matters worse, neither he nor she were leaving. What was going on? They had been drinking so eagerly last night...

Ah. Yes, indeed. They were suffering from hangovers. Legend was that the demon known as the so-called Ivory Goddess could drink infinitely without getting drunk, but it seemed her divine protection did not extend to her descendants, the modern royal family. Though it was still up for debate whether the imperial princess truly was descended from that demon.

The next day, our prayers were answered! The princess left with her maids and the sex slave. We followed after them at once. First, they had breakfast at a bar. We needed to fill our own stomachs. Thus, we had breakfast as well. We purchased light meals at a nearby stand while watching from afar. Hmm, what manner of meat might this be? I miss the food of my home country. Perhaps I should write for food supplies to be delivered to us as well.

Surprisingly enough, the maids were sitting at the same table as the imperial princess. Was she trying to gain favor with the people by interacting with those beneath her as equals...? If they were her friends, they would need to be nobles of notably high stature, but their crude manners while eating made even maids seem higher status than them. Who could they be?

We followed after the princess once she finished breakfast. Next up was shopping in a weapon store. What were they buying? Unsurprisingly, weapons. They were swinging some around.

Were they for the guards, or for her own purposes? It was hard to imagine the imperial princess wielding weapons in battle herself. Or so I thought, but in the end they bought weapons for the imperial princess. When lined up, one of the maids definitely looked more high and mighty than her, with quite the haughty expression. Entirely as if the imperial princess was merely her bodyguard.

Next, they entered a clothing store. If only we had a cooperator there, we could have seized the moment she changed clothes to kidnap her. How frustrating. Especially since now was a perfect opportunity with Wataru the Fallen Hero nowhere in sight.

That said, why was the imperial princess buying clothes in a bottom of the barrel commoner store like this? Surely no clothes fit for her could be found here. Her other maid, the one that didn’t look so smug, was having fun dressing up the sex slave.

...That maid had a particularly sizable chest. A closer examination revealed she had a slave collar on, but she was dressed incredibly well. Perhaps she was once a rare noble from a collapsed family that ended up in slavery. The imperial princess had the kind of taste you would expect from royalty.

Moving on, they entered a slave trade building. Again, if we had a cooperator inside, we could wait for an opening and kidnap the princess after enslaving her. Our kidnapping would have gone perfectly if only we had the funds, but this failure was the result of our country failing to give us a more respectable budget.

However, the imperial princess and her party left after just a brief trip inside. They seemed to be fairly angry. The slaver must have made a fatal mistake and offended her sensibilities. It is thanks to our keen wisdom that we need not recruit such a buffoon as a cooperator.

And so, the imperial princess finally arrived at the fortune telling tent. That was where our true plan began.

Inside was one of our cooperators. The fortune teller was in fact a spy from our country. They were capable of hypnosis. But it required a special incense, and to get them to cooperate we had to pay for the incense. That was annoying. We were prepared to report them to our country over this. Ripping off your comrades is despicable. I spit at such greedy behavior. Bleh.

That said, this conspirator was quite competent indeed. He successfully hypnotized the princess’s party and guided them all into the wagon! Hm? Wait, one is missing. Oh, it’s just the beastkin sex slave. Missing her isn’t a problem at all.

Aside from the princess, we had the haughty slave and the thick slave reminiscent of a former noble. We had done more than our job, and that was surely worth triple the agreed upon payment.

We drove the wagon forward. Moving at a calm pace was important to not draw attention to ourselves. We just needed to leisurely make our way to where the second cooperator was.

Our second cooperator was called the Goddess of the Pond, and was a monster that could understand human speech. We welcomed her as a cooperator despite her monster nature. This was thanks to our immense technological ability. However, we didn’t expect the monster to demand treasure from us.

The monster in question once had an axe dropped into its pond by a lumberjack, and it responded by taking out two axes—one silver, one gold—and asking which was dropped. The lumberjack answered honestly that he had dropped neither, and for his honesty she gave him both axes. This story resembled the legend of a goddess from the world of Heroes, and due to this she became known as the Goddess of the Pond.

Despite being a monster so friendly to humans, she demanded a large cash reward for assisting us. In the end, she was as reprehensible as the rest of the monsters. But we needed her power. She was capable of storing things within the water of her pond.

Who would predict that kidnapped people would be hidden at the bottom of a pond? Nobody. One would need as much wisdom and inspiration as us to think of such a hiding place. It would never be found by anyone. The prisoners would never be able to escape. It was perfect for kidnapping.

And after much expensive negotiation, we had her agree to let us hide the kidnapped imperial princess there. It would be our victory if we could bring the princess there.

And thus, indeed we did succeed! We had the imperial princess in our hands! We brought her to the pond where our cooperator monster lived, and that was that.

“Have you awoken yet, princess?”

“Zzz... I say...”

“.........”

The princess remained asleep, with not a care in the world. She was so comically unaware. She didn’t even seem to realize she had been kidnapped yet... Though that was thanks to the skills of our cooperator. Hard to blame her for this, then. Hahaha.

Her two maids were asleep as well. Good grief, sometimes being too skilled can be a problem as well.

“Hey. Monster. Come forth.” I threw a copper into the pond in place of a door bell. The monster popped their head out of the water.

“Oh my, oh my, what brings you here?”

“It is time for you to fulfill your end of the bargain. Store this wagon and all those within it beneath your water.”

“Who are you? I don’t believe I made any promises like that.”

“Quit messing around. We have your word.”

“...I was just kidding. Down they go, then.”

It was a strange sight. A hole opened within the pond, then tentacles like that of a Tentacle Slime stretched from within to envelop the wagon before dragging it into the water. It seemed that there would be air provided within the water itself.

Now then, we must return to the city for negotiations... Hm? “H-Hey. Why is the water enveloping us as well?”

“Oh? Did I not promise to hide you away?”

“That was for after the negotiations, not now!”

“You didn’t mention that before. And so, down you goooo.”

The tentacles dragged us into the pond as water. In the end, it had been unreasonable to expect a monster to understand the thoughts of humans—especially well-bred, highly intelligent humans such as ourselves. No matter. Our agreement included our safe release.

It was beneficial for us to be hidden while the city went into a craze to find the imperial princess. In which case, this was actually the better result for us. We could just wait here until all the dust had settled, then strut boldly out and without any mercy demand three times as much money as we used to accomplish this! That would be our right, since we have three hostages! In other words! We have won! AhahaHAHAHAHA!

# Keima’s Perspective

So yeah, I flawlessly led Wataru into taking us outside the city, then to the woods, then all the way to the pond.

“I wonder if Princess Mephy really is all the way out here.”

“You dropped the stick five times and it pointed this way four times. That can only mean one thing.”

“...Somehow, I get the feeling I won’t ever get lost again, even if I’m tossed into a giant labyrinth.”

Yeah, you’d find the exit just walking around randomly. Not to mention that you always just casually pass through the labyrinth area in my dungeon. Dang.

“Actually, couldn’t you just flip a coin when you want to decide anything? I feel like you could just solve all your problems that way.”

“That’d be going a bit too far. I need to think for myself sometimes. Not to mention, even if this case is special, I don’t think it’d be smart to rely on my powers too much. It feels like I might just end up saying ‘Well, that was bad luck’ every time I failed.”

What a serious guy. “Yeah, I think that’s a good way of life for you.”

“Whoa, I got Keima’s approval. I’ll have to brag about this to Rokuko later.”

Is that really something worth bragging about? I thought to myself just as we arrived at the pond. “And here I thought we had found a clearing or something. Looks like it’s just a pond.”

“Yep, I don’t see any huts nearby or anything.”

At first glance, it was an innocuous pond. But Rokuko’s dot did indeed put her inside it.

I peered inside. Nothing changed. It was a normal old pond with nothing special about it. The water was clear and I could see all the way to the bottom, but... there was nobody there.

“The water in this pond sure is clear.”

“So clear there’s not even any fish.”

There weren’t any, but there was something different here. I stealthily opened the map, then checked the tag on me.

“I saw you, Keima.”

“I’m at the pond. You can see us from where you are?”

“Uh-huh. You were peering at us.” Looks like Rokuko and the others can see us from inside the water. Guess they’re being hidden by some kind of magic or something.

“So you can’t see that I’m naked?” Uh... What?

“Just kidding. Ahahaha.” Is now the time to be joking?

“I think the kidnappers are in another room.” There are separate rooms down there...? Are they in an underwater mansion or something?

I looked over at Wataru, who was repeatedly dropping the stick to no avail, and began my strategy. “Y’know, the water’s actually so clear it’s kind of suspicious.”

“I see. Normally I’d think that’s crazy, but if you’re saying it there must be something to it.”

“Let’s search around here. Where’s the stick pointing?”

“I’ve tried dropping it from all sorts of places, but seventy percent of the time it falls toward the pond.” It certainly had a surface wide enough to fit our Dancing Doll Inn inside of it.

“Actually, do the people in the city know about this pond in the middle of the forest? Wataru, got any info?”

“Gozou might know something.”

I had told Gozou and Roppe that I would be searching outside the city with Wataru. They were meanwhile continuing the search inside the city. I knew that Rokuko and the others weren’t in the city, but I wasn’t supposed to. Not to mention that the criminals might have more accomplices in the city.

“I’ll go back for a moment to get Gozou. Could you keep investigating here, Keima?”

“Yeah. Good luck.”

Wataru ran off in the direction of Corky. Yeaaah, that’s inhumanely fast. I’m sure he’ll be back in the blink of an eye. Anyway, time to investigate in the way only I can.

“Boy, it sure feels like someone’s in the water watching me,” I said loudly before gathering up mana and holding just a little of it back. “{Fireball}.” I launched a fireball toward the water. It evaporated when it hit the water. You know what they say: When in doubt, shoot fireballs into a lake. I think that’s a saying here, anyway... And what’s the difference between a pond and a lake? I think it was like, lakes are more than five meters in depth, or something.

Anyway, the fireball didn’t seem to accomplish much, so I moved onto my next course of action.

“...{Create Golem}.” I used some random earth to make a Clay Golem, which I ordered to jump into the clear pond water. Oh wow, it got a little mudd—

“GRAAAAH!”

“Whoa!”

A woman’s voice suddenly roared from within the pond and the Golem was spat back out. “Don’t pollute the water!”

“Huh? Er, okay. Sorry?”

“Good. As long as you understand.”

...I couldn’t see anyone. Was the pond itself talking...?

“...{Summon Gargoyle}.” Rock should be fine. In you go.

“GRAAAAH!”

“What? Stone’s not polluting anything,” I said while the Gargoyle flew by me, having been tossed out as well.

“Don’t dump monsters in ponds!”

“I wasn’t dumping them in the pond. I was just investigating it a little.”

“This is my territory! Don’t come inside without permission!”

Territory of this mysterious voice, huh?

“Oh, I didn’t realize. I’m just a humble traveler, you see. Mind if I ask who you are?”

“I’m glad you asked! I am a goddess!”

Oh, a goddess. Neat.

“I can’t see you, though.”

“...Hmph, you humans are always so fussy over details. Here,” said the voice, and water from the pond rose up into a whirlwind that settled into a human form. It was half-transparent. Or she, rather.

“...You’re a slime girl?”

“Rude! I’m Undine!”

Undine... Wait, isn’t that the great spirit of water?

“Oh, you’re the great spirit of water?”

“That’s right! Feel free to worship me like the locals do.”

“By the way, I’m friends with Salamander.”

“...You are?”

“Yeah, so I know what’s up about spirits. Which leads me to my next question. How high-status of an Undine are you?”

“Ngh!”

Indeed. According to my ol’ pal Ittetsu, the Salamander-type Dungeon Core, there were multiple great spirit Salamanders out in the world. The fact that Ittetsu was a Salamander-type Core alone made it clear he was based on a species rather than a single person. And apparently, Ittetsu was the head Salamander. That seemed odd at first, but then I realized the top Dragon was Dungeon Core Number 5, and the top of the Laverio Empire was Haku, another Dungeon Core.

One could easily state that Dungeon Cores were overwhelmingly stronger than the species they were based on, even just considering how Dungeon Cores were immortal, didn’t need food, and didn’t get tired. It was no surprise that they always ended up in the highest positions of power, even when species like Dragons were involved... How long would it be until the whole world was conquered by Dungeon Cores?

“Th-That’s not relevant at all! I’m Undine, and that’s that. I’m a big deal. I’m a goddess, so bow before me, human!” she declared, hiding what her true status was. But yeah, it would be safe to guess that the average Undine is pretty strong. She did just tell me she’s so low status she’s embarrassed to say it, though.

“Yeah, about that... I’m friends with some goddesses too.”

“Shut up, shut up! You sure are smug for a lowly human! Why do you have so many friends in high places?! Oh, I get it. You’re lying, aren’t you? Liar! Big fat liar!” Undine yelled while throwing a ball of water at me. Splash. And now I’m wet.

“...I’m not lying, but whatever. I’m looking for some people. Do you catch my drift here?”

“Oh, you’ve lost someone? If you want me to predict their location with water, bring some golds or something.”

“I know where they are.”

“Then go to them already.”

“They’re in there.” I pointed to the pond, and Undine melted back into the water, disappearing. Dang, she actually ran away.

At which point, Wataru returned. “I’m back. Gozou should be right behind me. Wait, why are you soaked? Did something happen?”

“A goddess popped out of the water and threw water balls at me. {Dry}.” I crossed my arms and thought about what to do while drying myself with Survival Magic.

“This is definitely the Goddess Pond.”

“The Goddess Pond? What’s with that name? Is it a dungeon or something?”

“Er, no, it’s just a pond with a name. The name comes from... Well, I’m sure you’ve heard the story of the golden axe and the silver axe, right?”

“Huh? What kinda story is that?” I did know the story, but since it came from Earth I played dumb instead. I had modified versions of stuff like the tortoise and the hare already in the Beddhist bible, though.

“You don’t know it? I feel like any adult must have heard it at least once.”

“Sorry, not ringing any bells. Could you explain it already?”

Wataru’s mouth bent into a frustrated frown. Could you stop prodding to find out I’m Japanese already? We’re kinda in the middle of something urgent, y’know.

“A lumberjack once dropped an axe into a pond, whereupon a goddess living in the pond appeared with two of them—one silver, one gold—and asked which was dropped. The lumberjack answered honestly that he had dropped neither, and for his honesty she gave him both axes.”

By the way, there was also a version where a greedy lumberjack dropped his axe into the pond on purpose and said the golden axe was his, which earned him nothing. He didn’t even get his original axe back.

“Anyway, there’s a myth just like that for this pond. Someone dropped an axe in the pond and got both a silver and golden axe in return. A Hero of old heard that and named this the Goddess Pond.”

“Neat.” That explains that.

“Though I heard the lumberjack in this world dropped a new mythril axe, and was given much cheaper decorative axes of fake gold and silver in return.”

...Dang, that’s rough. In the original story he got his original axe back too.

“Yeah, the self-proclaimed goddess that popped up a second ago sure did seem greedy...”

“The lumberjack gave up on his axe, since it was his fault that he dropped it, and sold the axes she gave him to buy a second-hand axe. Well, in the end it was better than losing his axe for nothing at all.”

So she did help, but barely. Hmm...

.........

“Alright, we should be fine taking her out then. Wataru, would you mind blasting this pond away?”

“Whoa, whoa, whoa. Why so violent? All she did was hit you with water balls.”

Oh, right, I haven’t told Wataru that Rokuko and the others are down there yet.

“Also, the goddess here has in fact been worshiped for a long time.”

“Yeah, she said she’s Undine.”

“Whoa! Undine is one of the four great spirits... Keima, did you already make friends with her?”

If I had, would I be soaking wet? But anyway, yeah, knocking her out is kinda out of the question. Especially since Rokuko and the others might get wrapped up in the blast.

“There ye are, Keima! Did ye find a clue?”

“Yeah. It turns out Rokuko and the others are here.” Hiding that was getting kinda tedious, so I just said it.

“Say what?!” Gozou and Wataru yelled simultaneously.

“The goddess... Eh, it actually feels kinda wrong to call Undine a goddess. Let me call her the wannabe goddess. I tricked the wannabe goddess with a leading question. I said I was looking for people and I knew they were in the pond. Her response? Running away without saying a word. That seems guilty to me.” Yeah, I’m gonna use the wannabe goddess’s reaction as proof here. It’s circumstantial evidence, but that’s more than enough for me since I know she’s actually guilty. I’m going all the way with this one.

“Rokuko and the others are probably inside the pond.”

“...Inside the pond, huh? It doesn’t look like anybody’s in there,” Wataru said while peering at the water.

“The wannabe goddess is probably using her powers to hide them.”

“Er, Keima. Ye know, ain’t calling her a wannabe goddess sorta rude?”

“Goddess. Calling that a goddess would be rude to actual goddesses.”

“Keima, it’s not like ye know any godde— Right, Haku. Ne’er mind, then.”

Yup, Haku’s the Ivory Goddess. The actual legitimate real-deal goddess of the Ivory Church.

“But still, what’re we gonna do about this? We can’t exactly go ’round beatin’ up a wannabe goddess.”

“You think so?”

“That wannabe goddess has been around Corky ever since me grandpa was a kid. Some o’ the older folk in Corky still worship her. They were saved from drowning by her, or somethin’.” Apparently, she had cleaned the rivers near where some of them lived as well. It was thanks to the wannabe goddess that they could make tasty beer out of clean water despite all the mines polluting the rivers.

“...By the way, wouldn’t they be drowning down there?”

I knew they could breathe just fine, but I had no way of explaining that to them.

“Keima, could you use {Summon Gargoyle} to investigate the pond right away?”

“Sure, let’s do it.”

Since Wataru was around, I said the full chant for summoning a Gargoyle. I chanted it five times for five Gargoyles. “Check to see if there’s any women at the bottom of the pond. Go!”

The Gargoyles jumped into the water... But. A whirlpool suddenly appeared into a pool, which sucked the Gargoyles inside. A tornado of water then rose up and spat them outside. The Gargoyles rained down on the ground one after another, unable to fly due to their sense of direction being flipped all over the place.

“Didn’t I tell you not to dump monsters in the pond?” said Undine, appearing gracefully above the pond surface.

“I didn’t dump them. I had them go investigate.”

“You shouldn’t intrude on others’ homes like that.” Now that she mentioned it, I pretty much was sending them into someone else’s home. However, it was the home of someone under suspicion for kidnapping the imperial princess. Suspects getting their homes searched just made sense.

“Errr, can I ask what your name is?” asked Wataru.

“I am the Goddess of the Pond. I have no name, so you may address me as Goddess,” replied the wannabe goddess with a forced air of dignity. You may, huh? I’ll choose not to, then.

“Since you’re Undine, how about I call you Unko?”

“Nguh?! K-Keima, what?!”

“Unko... Well, you may call me that if you’d like.”

That literally means “shit” and “poop” in Japanese, but looks like it’s just fine in this fantasy language. Wataru knew what I was saying, though.

“K-Keima, Undine, that name isn’t very proper.”

“Why would you say that? I’m pretty sure I heard that in Japanese, you attach ‘ko’ to the end of names for girls.”

“Yeah, but Unko is a bit... In Japanese, it’s one word for describing excrement... You know that, right? You said that knowingly, didn’t you?”

Sure, but what better name for a piece of shit kidnapper than Unko? Not that I’m gonna say that and spill the beans.

“Denied! Rejected! What kind of disgusting name is that?!”

“Oh, that’s what it means? My apologies, O mighty Unko.”

“I demand you call me by another name! You heathen! You disgusting heathen!” She threw more water balls at me. {Dry}, {Dry}. Okay.

“Wataru, it sounds like the great Unko wants a new name. Go ahead and offer one up to her. Seems like she doesn’t like the perfectly good name I gave her.”

“Pfff... Uhh... Well, how about Dinne, then?”

“That doesn’t have any weird second meanings, right?”

“Right. None at all.”

“Then address me as Dinne! I will drown the next person who calls me Unko and thereby excrement! Understood?!” Declared Dinne, pointing a watery finger at us.

“Okay then. Dinne, can I ask you something?”

“Certainly. What is it?” answered Dinne with a calm, composed expression completely unlike the snarl she had on a second ago.

“Are there three women being held hostage in your pond?”

“.........” Dinne answered with only a smile.

“Um.”

“Oh, if you want me to answer, please pay a fair amount. Gold coins will do.” So greedy!

“...Okay, here.” Wataru handed a gold coin to Dinne. Yeah, that gold coin’s probably coming out of his pay.

“I don’t recall kidnapping any three women.”

“.........”

“Well, since you so kindly paid, I will give an answer. There are certainly people at the pond.”

“Ah! They aren’t drowning?”

“Are you three drowning? No? Then they aren’t drowning.”

“When you say there are people at the pond, you aren’t talking about us, right?” I asked. Dinne ignored me. “Hello?”

“You didn’t pay.”

What a pain. Wataru went ahead and asked for me.

“Err, well. Is it fair to take that as there being people inside the pond outside of us three, and that they aren’t drowning?”

“Indeed. Now, any more information will cost you extra.” Thus ended the one gold’s worth of question time.

“...So, what’s the plan? We know they’re down there, and we know they’re not drowning.”

“We should have plenty of time if they’re not drowning.”

“Yep, we’re good.” We all sighed in relief.

“Dinne, could you free the girls inside of you?”

“Certainly, if you say the password.”

“The password?”

“I humbly accepted the duty of storing goods. If you say the password, I will return what I have taken. That is the promise I made.” I see... So she’s like a safe with a code. “Great spirits never break their promises. Understand? If you want them, say the password.”

“Sorry, I don’t know the password. Is there anything you can do?”

“No. This is a holy promise. Are you mocking my virtue?” Yeah, it does seem like a great spirit would take promises pretty seriously.

“Please, isn’t there anything...”

“No. There is nothing. I hold my promises. It is my duty to protect what I have been given.”

“...By the way, how much do you charge for that?”

“Five golds. I return the goods when the time is right.” It sounded expensive, but considering a great spirit was involved perhaps it was actually pretty cheap. And in this case, the time was right when somebody told her the password.

“I guess the plan was for allies of the kidnappers to come and say the password once all the dust settled.”

“Or they’d tell us the password in exchange for paying a ransom or following their demands. Either way, we can solve this by catching the culprits and getting the password out of them. This just got a lot simpler.” The question is just whether the culprits will come or not.

“Anyway, should we get some food over here? We don’t want them to go hungry while waiting.”

“Ichika should have a lot in her {Storage}. Rokuko too, actually.” Sure is nice to not have to worry about food.

“I think we should go inside and check. Just to make sure Rokuko’s really there,” Wataru said. That made sense, given that we couldn’t see them from out here.

“Dinne, could you store us in the pond for a second? You can let us out once we send a signal from within.”

“Certainly. Fifteen gold coins, if you would.”

...Charging for all three of us, huh? “Ye know, we don’t all gotta go inside. I’ll wait out here.”

“Errr, I think I’ll wait outside too, then. Keima, go have a look.”

“Sure. Pay up, Wataru.” It was all coming out of the trip’s budget, anyway. I went ahead and had Wataru pay the five gold coins.

“I shall store you, then. What will the signal be?”

“Let me out when Wataru or I... Wataru being this guy... says ‘That’s enough, Dinne.’ Wataru, you know what to do if thirty minutes pass and I’m not out yet.”

“Yeah, it is possible that she knocks you out as soon as you get inside. Okay. You can count on me.”

And so, as the representative for all of us I let Dinne store me. A hole in the pond’s surface opened up and Tentacle Slime-esque tentacles reached out to envelop me. It honestly felt pretty weird being pulled into the water like this.

“Well, here we are.” The tentacles left me inside a giant bubble. It was oval-shaped like a roll of bread, and sunlight streamed in from above the water’s surface. It was warm and comfy, like being enveloped by bright clear water. Even the air tasted clean as could be.

“...Wait.” But there was nothing in the bubble but me. To be specific, there was a floor, walls of water, and air. But that was it. There was pretty much just me and nothing else.

“Where’s Rokuko?” I opened my map... and found my answer immediately. She was on the other side of the wall. In another bubble about five meters away, there was a canopied wagon. Rokuko and Ichika were there, plus Mephy. Rokuko was waving her hand.

“...I see. She’s keeping us in separate bubbles.” I waved back while checking the tag on the map.

“I guess you can’t hear us?”

“Nope.”

“So, when do you think you’ll be rescuing us?”

“She needs a password, apparently. Do you know what password the kidnappers set up?” I asked, and Rokuko pointed off in the distance. There was another bubble over there.

“The kidnappers are in that one.”

...I see. The kidnappers must be hiding and waiting in here.

“Man, this place is actually great for naps.”

“It does feel surprisingly calming to look at the water’s surface, doesn’t it?” Honestly, it feels kind of like I’ve become a fish. Maybe I should just sleep until Wataru calls me... Nah, I shouldn’t.

...Oh, I can see Wataru peering into the water. If I’m on floor one of a building, he’d be at about floor three... And yeah, doesn’t look like he can see us. Seems like the pond is a lot deeper than it looks on the outside. Must be like a literal magic mirror thing going on.

“Alright, I’m gonna see if I can’t force my way out here.”

“GL.”

Rokuko ended the conversation with a brief acronym, and I got to work investigating the bubble right away.

First was the walls of water. I hit them, but they were hard like glass. They were cold, but touching them didn’t make my hands wet. I’d be completely out of food and water if not for {Storage}. I would be left starving while baking under the sun’s rays. Ouch, I’m pretty sure I read a manga where someone was tortured like that. This isn’t a place I want to stay in for too long.

Rokuko and the others were surely suffering... Wait, not only can the canopy of the wagon block the sun, but they even have beach parasols with leg rests set up while they sip juice on beach chairs? What is this, a vacation? Well, I guess that’s no problem at all with the DP we have on us. That’s good, at least.

The ground was... dirt. Yeah, nothing much to say about it. It seemed pretty damp, maybe because it was underwater before I came? Let’s try digging a little... No good. It’s too hard. There was like a thin layer of something stopping me from touching it.

Seems like the same layer is on the wall too. This whole place is covered by some kind of barrier. I can guess the ceiling has it too.

Next was checking to see if I could use magic inside. “Gate, open. I summon thee, magic-wielding monster of stone. Serve me. {Summon Gargoyle}.”

I completed the chant without issue, and a Gargoyle did appear. Seemed like there was no problem with casting magic here. I think I’ll leave this guy behind and see if he’s still here when I come back.

What about physical force, though? I took out my Golem Blade from {Storage} and stabbed the wall without a shred of mercy.

Ngh, it doesn’t feel like I’ve hit anything at all. It felt more like magnets were repelling the blade, and despite vibrating it probably hadn’t hit the wall at all. I tried swinging it instead. Gaaah, it bounced off! Yeah, I’m not skilled enough with the blade to break this wall.

If a sword wouldn’t work, how about magic?

“O Fire, become a sphere and smite my enemy—{Fireball}.” First, a fireball. It shrunk and disappeared as soon as it hit the wall.

“Shoot forth, ice, and pierce mine enemies—{Ice Bolt}.” An ice bolt. It was knocked away and fell onto the ground.

“O Spear of light, pierce mine enemies—{Lightning}.” Lightning. It spread across all the walls, then disappeared.

...Hmm. Let’s aim a bit higher.

“O Fire, O Water, O Earth, O Wind, O Light, O Darkness! Defeat mine enemy! {Element Burst}!” Mana swirled and my strongest spell burst towards the ceiling... where it tore open a hole with a tiny sound. The beam of light continued upwards, making the water whirlpool before it shot into the sky.

Wowee. That spell sure is strong. Aaand water is dripping through the hole in the ceiling.

“Gyaaah?! Wh-What happened here?! H-Hey! Why is there a hole in the barrier!” cried Dinne, appearing out of nowhere. “How did you do that?! A water barrier summoned by the great spirit Undine should be nigh indestructible!”

“Uhhh, sorry. I was killing time and accidentally broke your ceiling. Could you close the hole?”

“Geez! No way! Get out of here! Go home!”

“...I haven’t said the password yet.”

“Then I won’t close the hole! And actually, I can’t maintain the barrier now, so you’re just going to have to accept getting wet!”

That’ll go a bit beyond getting wet. I’ll just drown. In which case, guess my hands are tied here.

“That’s enough, Dinne. Let me out of here.”

“Ptooey! Get out of here!”

Dang, she just spat on me. Guess I can’t really blame her, though.

I was sucked into another whirlpool and thrown out of the pond. The Gargoyle was too.

“Oh, Keima. Seems like you got out safely.”

Wataru and Gozou were waiting outside by the pond. I dismissed the Gargoyle and turned to Wataru.

“You were peering in, right? What’d you see?”

“I saw Princess Mephy and the others at the bottom of the ocean for a split second. It happened when you pierced the pond with your light magic.”

In other words, worse case scenario, I could use my magic to break through the magic mirror-esque thing and get through the barrier containing Rokuko and the others.

“By the way, what kind of magic was that? I’ve never seen it before.”

“It’s my secret technique. And that means I’m not telling.” I had used it without really thinking too much about it, but maybe that was a mistake. Nah, all things considered it was important for saving Rokuko. Yeah.

“Alright, what to do next...”

“More importantly, what was it like down there? I saw the others, but could you talk to them?”

“Oh, right. We were all kept in separate bubble rooms. There was water between us that kept us from talking. Also, the kidnappers were in there too. They had their own bubble room.”

“...So those were the kidnappers. I see.” Apparently he had seen them too in the second the barrier was broken.

“Okay, what should we do? Hide and wait until the culprits’ accomplices come?”

“Nah, we can’t afford to wait that long. I mean, I wouldn’t mind sleeping until then, but... Wataru, you remember where the bubbles are, right? How about you jump into the pond and go get them?”

“...I don’t think that’ll be possible. This isn’t the greatest matchup in the world for me. Dinne could probably beat me in a fight underwater.”

What? She’s stronger than Wataru...?

“Hold on. She’s stronger than you? Is she that big of a deal?”

“It’s just a question of elements. The sword I’m using, Air, can’t do anything in the water since it’s a Wind elemental weapon.”

I get the feeling Wataru could win easily even without a weapon.

“I could kill Dinne if it really came down to that, but then the water pollution would be an issue again, so...”

“Yeah, Keima. Ye’ve gotta think about the people. We’d lose our beer without that water.”

It was true that Dinne was one of the rare few who could keep the water clean for this mining city. That complicates things...

“Even if ye’ve gotta break that barrier thing, could ye try and do it as peacefully as possible?”

“I do think we should try to keep her alive. Keima, can you do anything about this?” What, you’re just gonna bet on me having an idea? Well, good call. I do have an idea.

“...We’ve just gotta do something that keeps her alive, right?”

“Well, yeah.” Wataru nodded.

“Would the residents of Corky help even if things got a little violent? Since this is for rescuing the imperial princess and all.”

“Yea, a little. They wouldn’t go off n’ help with killin’ her, though.” Gozou nodded as well.

I held up a finger and grinned. “I have an idea.”

...Yeah, I just wanted to say that line.

# Dinne’s Perspective

I was letting myself drift within the pond. Something terrible had happened, and I wanted to forget it.

“Haaah. What an awful man. I simply cannot believe him.” Not only had he not shown me the respect I deserved as the great spirit Undine, he had even asked what rank I was. Well, it was true that my rank wasn’t particularly high, but still! I’m a core Undine that has lived for two-hundred years...! Okay, sorry, I’m a shut-in that hasn’t left this forest in a hundred and fifty years since my arrival.

I’m not particularly high-ranked, either... Ahhh, this is no good at all. This line of thinking simply isn’t good. Let me think about something else.

In times of sorrow, I found that nothing relieved my heart more than looking at the treasures I had collected from humans. I particularly liked this mythril axe. I had even gone out of my way to give the owner golden and silver axes so he wouldn’t try to get it back. It was still shining even after a whole hundred years! Oh, but one day I would like to have an orichalcum axe as well. Hopefully a human offers one up to me someday.

In the end, that strange man left without any issue after breaking my barrier. He left an ally behind, which potentially meant that he intended to come again, but I honestly didn’t mind.

Oh, yes, I need to clean the air for the humans still here. I am a kind Undine that can show consideration for living beings that die in stagnant air.

...Oh? That human is putting something in their mouth. I wonder what they’re doing... Oh, right! Humans will die without food and water! I forgot completely. Well, those in the wagon seem to be fine, but what about these other humans... What do humans eat, again? They don’t eat jewels, right? No matter, I suppose. They can surely survive at least three days without eating. Yes. It looks like they’re drinking water with Survival Magic. Perfect!

...By the way, I wonder what those at the wagon are eating? We spirits can survive on mana, so we only eat when food is offered up to us. Though I’m not a fan of meat like whole-roasted pigs. At the very least, I would like fruit or some crisp and fresh vegetables.

In any case, the humans seem to be enjoying their rest, which means I am an excellent host! Teehee!

Anyway, the next day. The human was murmuring something about having an empty stomach and starving, so I decided to ask those in the wagon whether they were willing to share some of their food.

“Excuse me, do you have a moment?”

“Oh, hello. Did something happen, um... Slime Girl?”

“No! Goodness, so rude... I am the goddess living in this pond, and in truth, Undine of the four great spirits! You may call me Dinne.”

“Hmm. So?”

“Um.”

“What brings you here, Dinne? Are you letting us out?”

Not even this human was willing to pay me any respect whatsoever.

“Erm, I can’t let any of you out until the password is said. That was the promise I made.”

“Oh, okay. Could you tell us the password then?”

“Right, it waaas... Wait! Of course I can’t tell you! Geez, what were you thinking?!”

This blonde girl is no good at all. I’ll try the orange-haired one.

“Erm, excuse me, you over there. Please give me some of your food. The other human is hungry.”

“What, the kidnapper? I sure don’t give a heck. He’s the one who got us locked up here in the first place. You reap what you sow, bitch.”

How merciless! What a cruel bully you must be to abandon one of your own race as they suffer!

“You, the blue-haired girl.”

“I say, let us out of here already. Board games are only fun for so long. Is it not fair to say the kidnapping has already succeeded? There is no point to us staying here.”

“Errm. Some food, please.”

“Very well. You can have this. It’s a pretty stone I picked up at Donsama,” the human said while holding out a round, flat stone you might find at the bottom of a river.

Wow, what a pretty stone! The other human will surely rejoice over this...! If only. I know that humans can’t eat stones! Not even spirits or great spirits eat stones!

“Goodness gracious. I will have him give up on food. He knows the password, so if all else fails he can just leave.”

“Oh, that’s convenient. We can just wait him out.”

“I say, I know this strategy. It’s like siege warfare, Rokuko.”

“Dunno if you can really call this warfare, but whatevs.” The orange-haired girl took something out of {Storage}. It was a bottle with... some small things rolling around inside of it?

“What is that?”

“A nice and healthy little sweet. Tell ’im to eat one of these. It should help him out.”

“Oooh! I see you are kinder than the other two. You have my praise.” I took the candy as the blonde human pouted.

“Hey! What are you giving her, Ichika?!”

“Look out, girl! Run before she takes it back!”

“R-Right!” I can’t let the blonde girl take the only food I managed to get! In a hurry, I rushed out of the bubble.

“Seriously, Ichika. Didn’t that bottle have ‘Candy-Shaped Laxatives’ written on it?”

“I say, not bad.”

“I didn’t tell a single lie, dude!”

They were saying something, but my priority was giving him the food before they took it back! Now, with that, my schedule was free. I could go back to floating in the pond. Ahaha. This water truly is wonderfully clear. A pond could not be clearer, if I do say so myself! Since this water is practically part of my body, one could say that the water being clear means I am beautiful. Ahhh, I am scared of how beautiful I am. I get the feeling that men have started wars to make water this beautiful their own, perhaps. Well, there was not much else more for me to do than to keep the water clear. It was that or stare at my treasure.

And while doing both, an entire day had passed in the blink of an eye. Oh my... The lone human looks pretty exhausted. Strange, and I gave him food just the other day.

“Excuse me. Are you quite alright?”

“Ngh, nghoooh... I-I... shall not... die yet... I cannot...! S-Something, something, food, please...”

“If you are so hungry, why not just leave?”

“...Wataru the Fallen Hero... is outside...! I cannot... go now...! So...!”

“Ahhh, okay, okay. You need food, I understand.” It was annoying, but I could just get more food from the orange-haired girl.

...I wonder why the three girls are doing so well while he is suffering. Maybe humans are just that different. Or perhaps eating alone makes one so depressed and sad they end up like that?

“Um, excuse me. I’m here for more food.”

“Oh dear. That sounds rough. Here, you can have this,” said not the orange-haired girl, but in fact the blonde girl. Oh, that reminds me! The blonde girl hadn’t refused to give me food, she had just been so rude I stopped talking to her!

“They’re Goblin ears, but I’m pretty sure they’re edible.”

“Interesting, I didn’t know humans ate stuff like this. I know the mana of Goblins tastes extraordinarily bad, at least. But no matter. I shall praise you as well. You are a kind person!”

“Eheh. I know, right? I really am.” The blonde girl looked happy over being complimented. Of course! Humans love to be complimented by goddesses!

“Hold on. I say, am I being left out here?”

“I don’t intend to praise someone who didn’t offer any food.”

“Mnn, that is more frustrating than I thought it would be. But I shall expend this frustration on cards! Rokuko, Ichika, I say we play Sevens next!”

In any case, I successfully obtained food for today! He was so happy he cried! This is turning into something of an observation diary for humans, isn’t it? It’s fun in its own way, really.

And so, the next day.

“This is your opportunity to offer food as well, blue girl.”

“Oh, hello, Dinne. Coming to beg for food again?”

“You truly are rude, blonde girl! Geez! I am humbly electing to bow my head so as to obtain food for one of you humans! This is praiseworthy!” Indeed, I was going out of my way to visit the bottom of the pond!

“It sure doesn’t look like you’re lowering your head, but whatever. We’ll be saying goodbye today either way.”

“Saying goodbye?” I asked with a tilt of my head.

“Uh-huh. My partner, Keima, just finished getting everything ready.”

“Y-You mean that incredibly rude man?!” The man who broke my barrier! This is a disaster! What exactly does he intend to do... Wait, no. I’m the goddess of this pond. As long as I remain here, and particularly within the water, I can dissolve myself and avoid even that absurd spell he cast! “And by the way, if anything happens to me, all three of you will drown. He won’t be able to hit me with that magic while outside the pond, either.”

“That’s true. I’m looking forward to seeing how he manages to pull this one off.”

H-Hmph! Try and scare me all you like, it’s not happening! I thought, right before I felt it. Something had entered the water.

“Hm? This isn’t an offering... Surely it’s not trash.” I looked and saw that it was a large, snake-like tube. After a brief pause... it suddenly started to suck up the water at an enormously fast rate!

“...Erm? What?! H-Hold on a second, wh-what’s going ooon?!” I followed the tube up and saw that the rude man from before was holding it.

“Oh, has it started? What’s going on?” asked the blonde girl.

“Erm, th-the water is being sucked up! By that tube! I’m going to go complain to him!” I immediately began forming myself above the water... only to duck back inside the pond after feeling the stir of Wind mana. The rude man’s companion, the nicer one that had obediently paid me... the Hero had swung his sword at me.

Wh-What was he thinking?! What was he planning to do by hitting me with Wind mana?!

The Hero was staring at the pond’s surface while keeping his sword at the ready to protect the rude man. I won’t be able to leave the water at this rate! Ah, aaah! This is no good, no good at all! Even as I think, my water—my body!—is being sucked away! Wh-What in the world is going oooon?!

# Keima’s Perspective

“Catching her didn’t work... And really, I don’t think it ever will. She could probably just pour herself out.”

“Ahhh, well, no worries. I didn’t expect it to work anyway.” I had talked to Wataru about trying to capture Dinne in a prison of wind when she stuck her head out, but it didn’t seem to work. All that meant was that I just had to move forward with my good idea.

My good idea was to drain the pond of all its water. Luckily, there were plenty of craftsmen in this smithy city that were more than willing to help me out. And, for example, they could even make a pump and hose if given detailed instructions. Which is what I did, and now I had hand-operated fire pumps made by all the craftsmen in the city working together. It only made sense that the smiths here would be able to make something similar.

Though, I did have to stealthily buy the schematics for the fire pump with DP. It took a day and a half to get it all ready, but now it was working flawlessly.

And by “it” I meant “them,” because I’d had them make more than just one. I had them make fifty, in fact. Corky the smithing town really lived up to its reputation by having enough smiths to make fifty of them in a single day. Twenty of them were made by Untara’s smithy. When pros go all out, their production speed gets pretty insane.

I had Wataru camp out by the pond in case any of the culprit’s companions came while we were getting ready, but in the end that never happened. Which meant it was time for my plan. This is being cruel to the goddess of the pond? I don’t care. Please direct your complaints to the kidnapper. I’ll drag him out while saving the others.

The pumps were brought here in wagons, and we were borrowing some townsfolk from Corky to operate them. It wasn’t hard at all to get volunteers when our mission was to rescue the imperial princess. I had been ready to summon Gargoyles or Golems if need be, but it wasn’t necessary.

And to top it all off, my job here was to hold the hose connected to all fifty pumps and stick it into the pond as everyone’s representative.

“Alriiight, the water level’s going down. Let’s keep on sucking ’til it’s all gone. You can do it, men!”

“Y-Yeah...” stammered the fifty citizens.

“You’re quiet! Don’t you want to save the imperial princess?! If we get this done, the Empire’s gonna treat the whole city to beer!”

“YEAAAAAH!” they roared.

At my encouragement, those pumping the fire pumps between the trees got pumped up. They were now brimming with enthusiasm. Man, everyone sure does want to save the princess! Now this is what I call patriotism!

“...Actually, I think they just want to drink beer,” murmured Wataru as he continued to guard me, but I ignored him.

By the way, the tip of the hose stuck into the water was made of yellow steel, a metal known for its strong water resistance. The wannabe goddess Dinne would probably break her back if she tried to tear it apart inside the water. I also had spare tips at the ready.

...That’s what happens when you have a ton of people helping out. Strength in numbers!

“Oh, nice, nice. The water’s really draining fast now that they’re motivated.” It was honestly going so fast I had to question whether I had overprepared with the number of pumps, but they had properly been built to last and could be used to extinguish fires in the city, so that wasn’t a problem at all. We also dumped the water we sucked out into a nearby river. This was an eco-friendly pond draining.

“Haah, haah. But is... the goddess... gonna be... safe...?”

“Turns out... she’ll be fine... if we just... pump water from the river... back into the pond!”

Uh oh. Looks like some worshipers of the wannabe goddess are mixed in here. I signaled to Gozou with my eyes.

“Yoo, heya fellas! Yer doin’ some good work! But I hear yer worried ’bout the goddess, huh?”

“W-Well, ’course we are, yeah!”

“She’s been here... since we... were kids!”

The fact they kept pumping while talking to Gozou showed just how dedicated they really were.

“Think about it this way. The Goddess leaves her pond to clean the rivers ’n such, yeah? That means pumpin’ out the water from the pond ain’t much different from her visiting the river like usual.”

“O-Ohh! Now that you mention it, that’s totally true!”

“B-But, ain’t that gonna... offend the goddess? She’s like... the mother... of our whole city!”

One of the men agreed, but since the other didn’t Gozou continued his convincing.

“Can’t help offending her a little bit. She’s bein’ used by the villains who kidnapped the imperial princess. That be a fact. If we don’t go and save the princess here, the goddess is gonna get hunted down by the Guild. A true disciple would save ’er from that happening, even if it means makin’ her a little mad! Not to mention, we’ve got some great beer and food to offer up once we put the pond back in place!”

“Well, alright! That should... be fine... then!”

“Yeah! We’re doin’ this... to save... the goddess! It’s good workin’!”

“Not to mention, look over there. Even a little girl like that is workin’ hard to use the pumps and save her,” Gozou said while pointing toward Niku, who was slamming the pump harder and faster than anyone around her. A little girl rapidly moving the pump up and down with a serious, flat expression. The sight of that ignited a fire in the heart of the two men.

“I’m not... gonna lose... to a little girl... like that!”

“We wanna... save the goddess... just as much!”

“Good man! Keep up the good work!”

“Yeah! Leave it to us!”

Gozou gave the pumping men a nod, then came back to me.

“Good work.”

“Yeah. All I did was say what ye told me to. Sheesh, can’t believe yer actually making this crazy plan happen.”

“Well, it’s not too hard once everything comes together. Just take a look. The water’s going down fast.”

The pond had already lost about ten centimeters of depth. It wasn’t a particularly wide pond to begin with, and at this rate it was easy to see that it’d be empty before night fell. Dinne hadn’t showed up to interfere since her initial escape. Things couldn’t be going better.

“Looks like I win,” I said without thinking.

“Er, Keima, are you familiar with the concept of jinxes?”

...Did you really have to say that, Wataru? If anything happens, it’s your fault.

Only once the pond had lost a meter of depth did Dinne poke her head out.

“H-Heeey! Stop it!” she cried, but I had no reason to stop.

“Give back the girls and I’ll stop.”

“I cannot do that.”

“Then perish.”

Negotiations broke down in an instant. I mercilessly continued draining water.

“I-If you don’t stop, I’ll do this! Hyah!”

“Whoa there.”

Dinne threw a water ball at me, but Wataru blocked it.

“S-Stop it! You’re getting in the way!”

“I am his bodyguard, technically. And please excuse my rudeness a second ago.”

“If you’re worried about being rude, stop that man!” Dinne yelled, puffing with anger, but Wataru just scratched his cheek.

“Uhhh... Well, I kind of have to rescue the princess you’ve kidnapped, so.”

“Grrr...!”

Our objectives being completely in opposition to each other prevented any compromise. After the water lowered another meter, Dinne’s head popped up again.

“S-Seriously, stop it already!”

“Like I said, I will if you give the girls back. You know kidnapping the imperial princess is a pretty huge crime, right?”

“I can’t unless someone says the password! If you want them back so badly, say the password! The password!”

“Okay, the password. I said it. The password. Give them back.”

“That’s not what I meant! I know you know that!” Dinne was getting teary-eyed. “Just stop this already! If you don’t, I have some tricks up my sleeve too!”

“Oh, hostages? Are you saying you’ll harm the people you’re storing? If that’s how you’re going to be, we’re going to have to go all-out on you.”

“I can’t do that because of the promise, but also, are you telling me this isn’t you going all out?!”

Of course not. I was taking the peaceful route despite the extra time and effort because Rokuko and the others were inside. If I had to save them immediately, I would slide into more drastic action. Worst case scenario, I would have to bust out the Charming Girl Succuma. That’s a queen-class Charming Girl that even a guy like Ittetsu had to knock himself out to resist. Is that what you want? Huh?

“P-Please don’t!”

“And that’s why I’m going easy on you first. Alright? Do you get the situation now? If so, how about you go ahead and free the hostages.”

“Grrr! Th-They’re not hostages! I’m just storing theeem!” Dinne yelled before disappearing beneath the water again.

“...Keima, is there actually something worse you could be doing?”

“Yeah, but I don’t want to do it. It shaves years off my life.”

“I-It’s that serious?” Well, it only metaphorically shaves years off my life in the sense that stress kills, but otherwise that’s pretty much true.

The water sunk another meter, and just as the pond floor started coming into view, Dinne’s head popped up again.

“Th-This really is your final warning, okay?! Stop this!”

“Like I said before, give us the girls back and I’ll stop. I’ll even put the water back. Right, Wataru?”

“Right. We’re not doing this because we want to,” Wataru said while nodding beside me.

“Aaah, geez! I understand. I understand that I have no choice! At this point, I will have to show you what it truly means to technically be a great spirit of water. Don’t think you can beat me in battles of water!” declared Undine with a smug grin. Oh man, she might actually have something.

“E-Er. What’re you talking about?”

“The ultimate technique of an Undine! Behold! Gather, water, come to me! Water is my body and water is my blood! Take form with my being at the core—{Union: Undine}!”

It happened out of nowhere. Or well, Dinne had given us three warnings, so from her perspective it wasn’t out of nowhere at all. She chanted the spell, and upon finishing the water still in the pond swelled up together. It formed a massive ball of water, then rose above the pond—the hole that used to be a pond.

“Bwahahaha! Now, it is time for divine retribution. Know the wrath of a goddess! This is force permitted by the promise! I have the right to defend myself from brigands stealing my body away!”

Those who had been working the pumps reacted in various ways. Some screamed upon seeing the giant ball of water, some fell to their knees, some bowed while stammering out apologies, and some just bolted.

“...Well, that’s one trump card.” I could see Rokuko, the others, and the kidnapper in the core of the ball, along with bubbles containing what was presumably Dinne’s collected treasures.

Then, the ball shifted, and Dinne took human form with the wagons and such still inside her. They were contained in bubbles present at the core of the body—her chest. I feel like she’s using the bubbles to make her boobs bigger... She sure cares about appearances, huh...?

I opened the menu to see if Rokuko said anything, and saw... “Wow, it just got a lot easier to see!” ...Yeah, okay, she’s doing fine.

“Now, bow before me! Apologize! Return my water and offer up your belongings in penance!”

Right, now’s not the time for some chill tag conversations. I can survive dying once through {Ultra Transformation}, but that’s not true for anyone else.

“...I would normally be able to transform into a titan over twice this size, but you stole so much of my water... However! This is more than enough for humans like you! Size is strength!” the massive Dinne declared while raising an enormous arm over her head.

“Keima. What should we do?”

“...Cut the limbs off?”

“That should be fine, since Rokuko and the others are inside her chest. Though a fall from that high would be pretty deadly.”

Wataru swung his Holy Blade Air at the arm falling toward us. The slice shot through the air and cut Dinne’s arm clean off. It turned back into normal water and rained down into the pit where the pond used to be.

“Foooools!”

But Dinne just sucked the water back up through her feet. She absorbed each droplet, and the water surged up her torso like a wave before reforming her arm in an instant.

“Bwahahaha! Attacks do not harm me!”

“Well, that’s Undine’s ultimate technique for you. Keima, could you call Salamander over? Maybe they could settle this as two great spirits.”

“Nah. He’s too far.”

“I kinda guessed that,” replied Wataru with a wry smile. “I can’t believe I’m fighting another great spirit so soon...”

“Oh yeah, you’ve fought a great spirit before. You’re pretty much an expert here.”

“Same to you, Keima. And you actually won.”

That doesn’t really matter here since I knocked him out with charms. “I only managed to win because it was Ittetsu. Anyway, what to do about this...” And now that I think about it, what happens on the inside when she moves a lot? Oh crap, are Rokuko and the others okay? I opened my map and saw—“Wow, we’re not shaking or bouncing around at all.” ...Oh. Good. Seems like the insides are safe after all. Maybe that has to do with how her promise doesn’t let her hurt the people she’s storing.

“Heeey, Keima! What’s the plan?!”

“Evacuate the Corky citizens back home.”

“What about the pumps?” asked Roppe.

“Human lives are the priority, but grab them if you can.”

After I gave my instructions to Gozou and Roppe, Dinne’s voice echoed above us. “Bwahahaha! Fear not, my divine retribution shall fall only on those two black-haired men! I am merely teaching them a lesson! Once I’m done, don’t even think about coming back and trying to exterminate me! Okay, everyone? Especially those of you in the guild? Okay!”

...Alright. Well, looks like we can focus on the pumps, then.

“You heard the lady, Gozou.”

“Y-Yeah. Good luck?”

“Master. I will stay behind as well.” Niku slid in front of me.

“Ah...! Now there’s three black-haired humans?!”

Huh, looks like Dinne can only tell us apart by our hair. Maybe it’s because she’s looking down at us from so far above?

“...Er, Niku. I appreciate the thought, but the situation’s kinda complicated right now. Could you retreat with Gozou for now, and come help only if we really need it? It would mean a lot.”

“...Okay.” Niku nodded, albeit reluctantly.

“So yeah, Dinne. We’ll evacuate everyone but ourselves. Could you wait a sec for that?”

“I shall wait five minutes. It’s easier for me to fight without innocent civilians around.”

I had my ultimate weapon Succuma ready if necessary, but if it came to that I would prefer just having Wataru around rather than a full crowd. The fewer people I had to erase the memory from, the better... Though I wasn’t sure if I could mess with a Hero’s memory at all. Oh, right, there’s the kidnapper and Emmymephy too. Not sure if I should erase Rokuko and Ichika’s memories too or not.

Five minutes passed. The citizens of Corky and everyone else evacuated, leaving only Wataru and me with the giant Dinne. Alright, show time.

“Well, let’s try a frontal assault. I believe in you, Wataru.”

“Could you provide some backup with that magic of yours, Keima?”

“Fine, fine.”

“Have you finished your little strategy meeting, mortals? Have you accepted your fate? Either way, here I come!” Dinne lifted a giant fist once again.

“Wataru.”

“Yep!”

Her swings wouldn’t work with Wataru around. He swung Air again, cutting off her arm for the second time. Water rained down into the former-pond again, and then returned to her body again. Yeah, at this rate we’ll be stuck here forever.

“Open up a path. I summon thee, magic-wielding monster of stone. Serve me—{Summon Gargoyle}!” I summoned several Gargoyles and sent them flying around Dinne to see what would happen.

“Grrr, these are annoying... However!” The giant Dinne swung her hand around, entirely like swatting away bugs. But unlike bugs, the Gargoyles hit by her massive palm ended up absorbed inside of her.

“Summoners can only summon so much. If I absorb them all and keep them within me, you are doomed! Unable to send them back and unable to summon more, you can do nothing but weep!” Dinne declared while moving the Gargoyles next to the bubbles in her chest.

“Clever girl...” I had never worried about any upper limits to summoning before, but with Wataru around I didn’t want to summon a suspicious number of them. It would be better to just be safe and swap over to attack magic.

“...O Fire, O Water, O Earth, O Wind, O Light, O Darkness. Defeat mine enemy. {Element Burst}.” I gathered my energy and tried shooting her through the head. A big hole appeared in her face, but it went back to normal just like a Slime’s face might.

“I know of that magic already! It can do nothing if I just dodge it!” It seemed she dodged it by opening a hole in her head herself.

“You really are like a Slime.”

“Don’t lump me in with those lesser life forms! And you, Hero! I’ve figured out how to counter your attack, too!”

“Oh?”

Dinne lifted up a foot. “If I use my foot, you can’t chop it down since it overlaps with my chest! I may not be able to harm those inside of me, but if you two hurt them yourselves it’s none of my business!”

Say... what? I was shocked. That actually was a dangerous move.

“...I can just circle around to your side.”

“I-I’ll turn myself if you try that! Like this!” Dinne deftly turned with her foot up in a feat that seemed impossible considering the laws of gravity.

“Oh, here’s my chance—”

“No, Wataru, don’t cut off her foot!”

“Huh?!”

I stopped Wataru before I could swing his sword. “If she loses her balance, who knows what’ll happen to Rokuko and the others inside of her!”

“Ngh, r-right. She might say it’s our fault that she lost balance. I guess we just have to dodge it normally then. Ready, Keima?”

I steeled my resolve and nodded.

“I-I’m going to step on you!” Dinne, continuing mostly out of stubbornness despite knowing she would probably fail, dropped her foot on the two of us. We watched it coming down. And in the end, I...

# Rokuko’s Perspective

Ah. She stepped on him. And by him, I meant Keima. Wataru dodged it easily and was still ready to fight.

“...I wonder if Keima’s okay.”

“I say, I’m worried as well. Hopefully that did not kill him.”

“Oh, that’s not what I meant. I was wondering if Keima’s okay in the head.”

“The head?” Mephy asked with a tilt of her head. Understandable. You would have to know Keima at least as well as I did to understand what I was talking about.

“To think he’d act like that when he has me... Sheesh.”

“I don’t think Master would be all about dying and leaving you behind Rokuko. I’m gonna guess my dude has a plan.”

“No, and if he does it’s just a retroactive excuse. Keima let her step on him on purpose.”

“Wha? C’mon, he must have some sorta plan or something.”

“I don’t think so. Sheesh, Keima... You really are helpless.” Ichika didn’t seem to get it, but there was no doubt in my mind. I could understand Keima’s thoughts like the back of my hand, after all.

He had been enraptured by Dinne’s giant foot. To be more clear: There was no doubt that he had popped a boner and then jumped into the sole of her giant foot as it came crashing down. It turned out that he didn’t care who a foot belonged to as long as it was a foot, even when that someone was a giant blob of morphed water.

“I honestly think that fetish of his might be a disease. Well, I don’t mind it too much.”

“I dunno what you’re talking about, but, uh, is Master gonna be okay?”

“Oh, probably.” He could die once thanks to his {Ultra Transformation}, after all, and it was hard to imagine him actually getting taken like that. Not to mention...

“Oh, dude, there he is.”

“Hello there, Keima.”

Keima was brought up close to us in one of Dinne’s bubbles, just like the Gargoyles from a second ago. It wasn’t hard to imagine him relaxing and jumping into the foot after seeing the Gargoyles just get absorbed.

He waved at us with a relaxed grin. Voices didn’t carry past the bubble, so I just glared at him while opening up the menu to talk.

“So, how did getting stepped on feel?”

“It was just plain old water.” Keima gave a disappointed frown. Sheesh, my partner really is something else. I would have gotten mad if he’d called it incredible, but if it was just like normal water, he had basically just jumped into a bath.

“So, what’s the plan? I’m sure you have one.”

“I do. Uh, more or less.” Keima glanced around his bubble. I pointed in the direction of the kidnapper, assuming that’s what he wanted, and indeed it was. Luckily, all of our bubbles were clearly visible from each other without any overlapping. Keima gave me a thumbs up, and I puffed out my chest with a smirk. It would be embarrassing if I couldn’t even figure out that much.

“Now that I’m inside, I don’t have to worry about hitting you guys by accident.”

“What if it goes outside and hits Wataru?”

“He’ll probably survive a blast or two of this. Maybe more, who knows.” Keima replied while focusing his aim on the other bubble.

“...Rokuko, I say, you sure are fast to understand what Keima wants to say.”

“We’re partners, after all.” It would be hard not to when we’re chatting with tags.

“I wouldn’t have known Keima was looking for the kidnapper.”

“.........” Oh, right, I didn’t use the tag for that. H-Hmmm? Well, it’s only natural. Partners share a deep emotional connection, after all. Eheh.

“Rokuko, my girl, your ears are crazy red right now. And that’s a super cute grin on your face, too.”

“Wh-What? You’re imagining things.” W-Well, anyway, it looks like Keima’s about to let loose. We should get in the wagon before this place starts shaking all over.

# Keima’s Perspective

So yeah, I successfully infiltrated Dinne’s body. That was my plan all along. I saw the Gargoyles get absorbed into her body, and I knew Wataru’s {Ultra Good Fortune} bled into his surroundings as well. Not only was it likely for my Hail Mary to succeed, but even if it didn’t I would survive thanks to my {Ultra Transformation}. All the factors aligned and gave me only one option: to leap inside the foot.

It’s not what I personally wanted. I hadn’t hoped for anything in particular, but man, it was just normal friggin’ water. God dammit. I mean, the shape itself was pretty good. And having a giant foot rushing toward me was actually kinda nice in its own way... Wait, that doesn’t matter right now.

After Rokuko and the others got back into their wagon, I used some of my DP to buy leather bags. I filled them with air then stashed them in {Storage}. That should be good enough, just in case. Maybe I should have used bicycle tubes instead...? Nah, it would be hard to explain to Wataru if he found them later.

“{Element Burst}.” I shot a beam of mana to the bubble with the kidnapper.

“KYAAAAAAH?!”

A direct hit on the bubble. Dinne was screaming or something, but it didn’t matter. Air was leaving the bubble like a deflating air balloon. But that stopped once I put my hand over the hole. Yeah, air won’t leak out as long as you plug the hole. Even if you’re plugging the hole from the inside.

I already confirmed ahead of time that busting a hole through a barrier wouldn’t make the whole thing disappear. In which case, plugging the hole with your hand was all you needed to do. Sooo I changed the angle of my hand in the hole, and...

“{Element Burst}, {Element Burst}, {Element Burst}.” I rapidfire shot {Element Bursts} at the culprit’s bubble. What would that do? Indeed, it would make too many holes for the culprit to cover himself. Though he was slumped on the ground and immobile anyway. Yeah.

“Wait, wait, wait, wait! Stop, stop, stop, stooop! My treasure! My mythril aaaaxe!” Dinne was panicking. It seemed at least one of my stray shots had hit her treasure.

“Look ooout, if you don’t let him out he’s going to drown. Who knows what’ll happen to your treasure, too?”

“Gr, bubble barrier repair!”

“{Element Burst}.”

“GYAAAAAH!”

I could open more holes no matter how many times she tried repairing it. After all, my {Element Burst} only took as much mana as five Low-Rank spells—or in other words, not much at all. It was incredibly efficient. I could shoot off over a thousand of them with as much mana as I had. My throat would probably dry out from saying that spell name before I ran out.

“Ah! R-Right! How about this?! Bubble barrier join!” Dinne made a snap decision. She combined my bubble with the kidnapper’s. Not a bad decision. Now I’ll drown too if I break the bubble.

But at the same time, it was the perfect opportunity for me. The kidnapper was right in front of me, half-starving and exhausted.

“Ngggh... Guuuh...”

“I was planning for a war of attrition, but this is fine too. Hi there, kidnapper. Mind telling me the password?”

“D-Do you think... I would tell you...?”

“I’ll give you this if you do.” I took out a plate of Kinue’s cooking from {Storage}. Time had stopped since it was finished, so the smell of fresh cooking spread through the bubble. The kidnapper’s eyes widened. It only took a second for him to crumble.

“...It’s glory be to our god! I said it, now give it to me!”

“Now, now, hold your horses. Let’s check to see if that’s true.”

I took out the crystal ball from before and made the kidnapper touch it. I had borrowed it from the storekeep thinking something like this might happen. “Will that password let us free the imperial princess?”

“Yes. So would you—” The crystal ball shone red.

“It takes balls to lie in a situation like this. But well, sometimes being a sore loser doesn’t pay off.” I replaced the ball’s magic stone and stashed the food in {Storage}.

“A-Alright, I’ll say it! May the light of our god shine on all! The goddess will let the imperial princess go if you say that!” This time, the ball didn’t shine red.

“Alright, perfect. Eat up.”

“Oooh... My first meal in three days!” The kidnapper reached for the plate, but before he could start...

“Um, did I just hear the password?! Out you go, then! You and everything you brought with you!”

“Wha?!”

After Dinne’s merciless announcement, the kidnapper and all of us were thrown out of her body. Once outside, we saw Dinne crying and apologizing to Wataru.

“Oh great Hero! I have freed your princess and there is no more need for us to fight! Please forgive me already! I’m sorry! I never should have acted so smuuug!”

What the hell did Wataru do to her while I was inside? I mean, I did see snippets of the fight since her body’s transparent, but uh.

“Haha, well. She seemed so busy dealing with you on the inside, I used the opportunity to try and enclose her entire giant body in Air’s prison... and it actually worked.”

I dunno what that means exactly, but it seems like he dominated her. Oh man, this Hero’s kinda scary.

And so, we successfully rescued the princess and secured the kidnapper. As an aside, the kidnapper had passed out from the shock of his food being thrown to the ground, but that wasn’t our fault.