Bonus Short Stories

The Imperial Princess Goes Sightseeing—Open Cafe

For very complicated reasons, Emmymephy the imperial princess needed to get kidnapped. To accomplish that, she and Rokuko were casually sightseeing through a busy city. It looked like they were unguarded, but Wataru the Hero and Keima were actually watching over them from afar. They also had Ichika and Niku with them as supposed maids, and they were both strong fighters in their own right.

“So, what’re we eating?”

“Rokuko... I say, you seem quite happy-go-lucky about all this. Perhaps I should say courage is a virtue?”

“Nothing that bad will happen with Wataru around. I’m a lot more concerned about breakfast.”

And so, the princess squad went to an open cafe-styled bar. Really, the only thing that made it a bar instead of a full-on cafe was the fact that beer was the main beverage.

“Mmm, I say, I would like to be elegantly drinking some tea right now.”

“They should have tea if you ask. Isn’t this barley tea?”

“Girl, I’ll just warn you now, that’s only tea if you count beer with a leaf in it as tea,” Ichika joked from the side. A closer examination showed that although there was a picture of barley, the item itself was marked as ale. They wouldn’t be able to go sightseeing if they were drunk, and Keima prevented Rokuko from drinking in the first place. She wouldn’t want to drink somewhere without Keima anyway, so she decided to just pick something else.

“Any recommendations for food, Ichika?”

“Nmmm, I guess the ham, eggs, and pancakes would be pretty good? That’s the most rich girl food you’ll get here.”

“Okay, that’s fine with me. And you, Mephy?”

“The royal will decrees I have the same.”

“Roger dodger. Niku ’n me will be fine with just the standard breakfast set. Rich girls and we maids can’t be eating the same stuff, know what I mean?”

“Uh-huh. Whatever works.”

With their orders decided, they called over a waitress. Their food came almost instantly after it was ordered. Rokuko and Emmymephy got their ham, eggs, and pancakes while Ichika and Niku got bread, sausage, and cheese. They also had empty wooden cups. Ichika, as a maid, used the Survival Magic spell {Water Creation} to pour water into the cups before setting them back down.

“Whewee, menus sure do get a lot bigger the closer you are to the capital,” Ichika said.

“Our inn’s menu is way bigger... Oh, Ichika, that looks really tasty.”

“Sorry, girl, you’re not getting any. We maids gotta eat fast and get back to waiting.” Ichika broke open her bread to slide the cheese and sausage inside since she was eating while standing up. Niku copied her, then started scarfing it down.

“Well, Mephy and I will be eating nice and elegantly like noble ladies. We need to go slow so we don’t finish before Keima and Wataru, after all.”

“I say, Rokuko, that’s quite right. Elegantly... Sigh.” Emmymephy sighed after saying elegantly, as if it reminded her of something.

“Bad memories?”

“Indeed. I just remembered the princess life that awaits me once this journey ends and I return to the castle.”

“What’s so bad about that?” Rokuko asked while cutting her pancake and forking pieces into her mouth.

“Proper manners forbid talking while eating, for a start.”

“Oh, then just change what counts as good manners. You’re the imperial princess, Mephy. If you say it’s fine, it is fine.”

“Father would never allow anything like that.”

“I guess you’re screwed then,” Rokuko replied while taking a big bite of eggs... at which point it occurred to her she should try eating the pancakes and eggs together. She began cutting a bit of each.

They finished their meal and had some tea. That they’d brought themselves, of course (and by brought I mean bought with DP).

“I say, I wish this journey could continue forever... I honestly would not mind just marrying Sir Wataru here and living the rest of my life on the road.”

“Oh? You’re in love with Wataru, Mephy?” Rokuko asked. Emmymephy put a finger on her chin in thought.

“Mmm. I like him enough that I wouldn’t mind if I was told to marry him. I wouldn’t even mind if he had Neruneh with him as a concubine. What about you and Keima, Rokuko?”

“I got this from Keima already.” Rokuko proudly showed the ring on her left ring finger. “We’re planning on throwing a super fancy wedding soon. Beddhist style, naturally!”

“Hrrmmm, I say, I am quite envious. What a splendid ring... Hm? Wait, now that I look at it... What? Is this whole ring made of rubies?”

“Oh, that Keima. He said red looked good on me so he went out of his way to get this.”

“And there seems to be another ring inside of this... What? Could it be? No... My eyes must be deceiving me. It looks like a orichalcum ring inside.”

“Oh, no, that’s exactly right. But don’t except me to give it to you, okay?” Rokuko pulled her hand back, having shown the ring off enough.

“...Is that a royal treasure of some sort? Just who in the world is Keima?”

“My partner.” Rokuko glanced over to a distant table, where Keima and Wataru were chatting. Keima noticed her look and nodded.

“Looks like they’ve finished eating. Everyone ready to go?”

“I see... A bond so tight that even eye contact is enough to communicate.” Emmymephy let out a wistful, envious sigh before standing up.

The Imperial Princess Goes Sightseeing—Weapon Shop

For very complicated reasons, Emmymephy the imperial princess needed to get kidnapped. To accomplish that, she and Rokuko were casually sightseeing through a busy city. It looked like they were unguarded, but Wataru the Hero and Keima were actually watching over them from afar. They also had Ichika and Niku with them as supposed maids, and they were both strong fighters in their own rights.

After eating breakfast in a cafe-esque bar, the princess squad went to a weapon store.

“I say, there is nothing more famous in Corky than its smiths! Anyone here to patrol, or rather sightsee, would do well not to miss them!”

“You sure recovered from that slip of the tongue fast.”

“As the imperial princess, recovering smoothly from a blunder is second nature.”

In any case, although it was called a weapon shop, it sold armor and such as well. Everything was handmade by the smith, and it followed that there were no Magic Blades there.

“No Magic Blades, I see.”

“I say, if you want one you will have to go to a magic equipment shop.”

“Makes sense.”

By the way, the sword on Rokuko’s hip was just for decoration. She wasn’t particularly interested in weapons, but the same did not hold true for Emmymephy.

“I, and all of the royal family, are descended from the First Emperor, Lyon Laverio. He was once an adventurer, and his heroic blood runs through my veins.”

“Okay. So?”

“I love weapons, fighting, and all manner of adventurous things!” Emmymephy declared, full of hype.

“That doesn’t sound very princess-y to me.”

“Regardless, we shall take a look at the armor and equipment! I say, isn’t this sword splendid? It is made of mythril!”

“Are there any made of orichalcum? That’s the kind of sword that would impress me.”

“Of course not, Rokuko. I say, be more realistic.” Emmymephy shrugged with a shake of her head. Orichalcum blades surpassed the level of national treasure and went right into the realm of divine myth. If one was just randomly lying around in a city’s weapon shop, it would be more terrifying than impressive.

“Well then, I suppose I should use this opportunity to buy something,” Emmymephy said before digging through a barrel stuffed with swords to look for something good.

“Aren’t those all pieces of junk? It says one silver each on the barrel right there.”

“I say, I know from experience you can dig out some hidden gems from barrels like this!”

“Well, I guess that makes sense. I think I’ll have a look too.” Rokuko followed Emmymephy’s example and started fishing through another barrel for something special.

“I say, let’s compete to see who can find the best blade!”

“Sure. I’m not on Wataru’s level, but I’m pretty confident in my own luck.”

...Seeing that, Ichika put a hand on her chin and thought things over. “Y’know, do you think we should be all about stopping Rokuko and Mephy right now? Like, ’cause we’re maids and all.”

It was true that Ichika and Niku were camouflaging themselves as maids accompanying their mistresses. It was reasonable to think that a maid would stop her mistress from rummaging through essentially a garbage bin.

“Maybe we should go all the way and join in?” Niku suggested.

“Naaah, we just got mythril weapons from Untara yesterday. We’re good.”

“...Very true.”

In the end they settled on just quietly watching. They weren’t real maids, and since this was sightseeing, it made sense to let Rokuko and Mephy do what they wanted.

“I say, I’ve even heard of rusted weapons like these being true powerful blades of legend!”

“I guess I’ll go for this red dagger, then.”

The two mistresses each found a blade they liked.

“Rokuko, what about that dagger is red?”

“The gemstone.”

“Oh, I see. It was too tiny for me to see.”

As amateurs, they couldn’t tell which of them had the better blade. They decided to ask the owner of the shop which was superior.

“Thanks for the business. So, you wanna know which is better?”

“Indeed, I say. Which is the finer blade?” Emmymephy asked with eyes full of hope. The owner scratched his head.

“Well, the rusted blade you got here is actually scrap iron, you see.”

“Scrap iron...? Come again?”

“It’s not fit for fighting. You scrape off the rust and use the iron for smelting material. It’s scrap.”

“It’s unusable?”

“It’ll snap if you block a strike or stab something with it. Worth the silver for materials, but that’s about it.”

“Grrr, quite unusable indeed...” Emmymephy knew well as a (technically) trained fighter that no weapon so brittle could ever be used in battle.

“As for this dagger, well, you could do worse for self-defense. I bought it from a traveling alchemist the other day. Apparently the alchemist just made it for fun, so I tossed it right in the barrel with the others. Since it’s a dagger, not even derusting it will get you much iron.”

“Well, that makes sense.” Rokuko tossed the dagger into {Storage}.

“I’d say the dagger is better in the sense you can use it in a fight, while the rusted sword is better for materials. Hard to say which is better than the other.”

“I guess it’s a tie then, Mephy.”

“Indeed it is, Rokuko.”

And so they left the weapon shop, having accomplished some harmless and likely irrelevant shopping.

The Imperial Princess Goes Sightseeing—Clothing Store

When they left the weapon shop they saw Keima and Wataru wearing animal hats, so the princess squad went to a nearby clothing store to fight back. The clothing store dealt in both handmade clothes and secondhand clothes. Outfits of all sorts of colors were set on hangers.

“What do you think of clothing stores like this, Mephy? As the imperial princess, I mean.”

“My clothes are generally tailor-made. However, the First Empress often stealthily leaves her villa to peruse clothing stores in the city, and I often sneak out of the castle to do the same.”

In other words, they were just some girls chilling in a clothing store, which made everything look so nice. For commoner clothes, anyway.

“I say, clothing stores truly do get better the closer you are to the capital.”

“They don’t have any bunny girl outfits here, though.”

“Rokuko, I say, I’m surprised you know about those strange bunny girl outfits. Those are quite rare, sold only in a small number of stores even in the imperial capital.”

Strange outfits? That phrasing gave Rokuko pause. She hadn’t thought the outfit was particularly strange, though, considering it was made for women to wear with their shoulders exposed, it was a little lewd.

“I wanted Keima to wear one.”

“...Keima is a man, though.”

“Don’t you think it would look good on Wataru too?”

“...It certainly would!”

If the two men in question had been there, they would have had a thing or two to say about that, but luckily (or unluckily) they were both outside.

“But regardless, this store doesn’t have them. We will have to look for our own clothes.”

“Sadly... Oh, where should we try them on?”

“A dressing room... does not seem to be available.”

Perhaps to prevent theft, or perhaps because commoners didn’t need them, there wasn’t a dressing room. Customers damaging the clothes by putting them on was a real concern, especially when they were secondhand. Which was why Rokuko and Emmymephy decided to just sight read which clothes would look good on them.

“Oh, this is pretty cute. It reminds me of the Virgin Killing Sweater I saw in a book before.”

“Virgin Killing Sweater...? Was it worn by an assassin that only targets virgins?”

“What’s a virgin, anyway?”

“What? You do not know? Erm... It means someone who is still a child.”

“Clothes for an assassin that kills children... I wonder what the boob window has to do with that.”

“Truly, it is a mystery.”

Emmymephy and Rokuko picked clothes as they talked, eventually stumbling upon a mirror so pretty it seemed out of place.

“Ah, yes. This store is quite popular right now for the mirror it has.”

“Right, right. Mirrors are actually pretty expensive.” Not to mention that it was high quality and made of expensive glass.

“...I say, this mirror really does stand out here. This is suspicious!”

“Suspicious?”

“They had some way of earning supplementary income, and thanks to that they could afford this mirror... It’s the only explanation!”

If that supplementary income was from kidnapping, perhaps this was where Emmymephy would finally be kidnapped. It hadn’t occurred to them before then, but clothing stores really were perfect for kidnapping. You could get two products at once—clothes and slaves. If only the store had a dressing room.

“In other words, it’s possible this is a hangout for kidnappers.”

“Excuse me, miss! Please don’t say that. You’ll hurt my reputation,” the owner of the store said, having overheard their conversation. “That mirror was given to us by an alchemist the other day who was buying clothes for a slave.”

“Clothes for a slave? The prices don’t seem to add up.”

“She said she was fine with it, and there was no reason for me to refuse. I let her take a fair amount of clothes for it.”

Emmymephy nodded. She wouldn’t put it past an alchemist to do something like that. “My apologies for doubting you. In return, I’ll buy this outfit.”

“Thank you, thank you.”

She handed over a silver coin and put the clothes into {Storage}.

“I would also like you to pick out clothes for these two,” Emmymephy said while pointing at Niku and Ichika.

“Certainly. A spare set of clothes for your maids, then? I imagine they’ll wear them during chores?”

“I would like cute outfits that fit tightly for sneaking missions, but retain their cuteness nonetheless.”

“Oh, you two are in luck. Mephy’s buying clothes for you.”

Ichika and Niku, still standing back, bowed their heads.

“Thank you for your consideration, Princess Mephy.”

“Mmm. Thank you.”

Ichika and Niku were given clothes similar to the outfit that Mephy bought. And since Ichika’s boobs were a decent bit bigger than Emmymephy’s, the bust of her outfit was tight and really emphasized her firepower, which earned it a big thumbs up from all those involved.

“...I say, Rokuko. Isn’t Ichika’s bust a little unfair?”

“You’ll grow one too eventually, won’t you?”

“I hope so,” Mephy replied while placing a hand against her quite modest chest.

The Imperial Princess Goes Sightseeing—Slave Market

“I say, there is no place more rife with kidnapping than the slave market,” Emmymephy suggested, and so the princess squad went to a big slave market building. It looked like a normal old store, but inside there were indeed slaves being sold.

“But honestly, I have enough slaves already, so.”

“Agreed.”

“Totally.”

Niku and Ichika nodded in agreement with Rokuko. They were the only two slaves that Keima owned, but since he could just summon monsters at any point, they weren’t lacking in manpower. So much so that they always put off summoning more, since they could do so at any time.

“Now, now, no need to kill the mood. All we’re really here for is getting kidnapped.” And so, Emmymephy took the lead, going into the store herself. Inside was a red carpet leading up to a reception desk.

“I say, they must be quite profitable. This is a big store.”

“Uh-huh.”

They went ahead and spoke to the greasy man sitting behind reception.

“Welcome, fine ladies. Are you in search of slaves? Or perhaps here to sell some?”

“What kind of slaves do you have?”

“Ah, only the finest slaves in all the lands. Downstairs we have the young boys, upstairs we have the elderly and broad shouldered beasts of men. We also rent out slaves for nights, or hours if need be.”

“Just men? You don’t deal in any women slaves?”

“Oh, are you two of the more feminine persuasion? Forgive my rudeness. We certainly do have female slaves, yes.” The man spoke to Emmymephy and Rokuko while grinning and rubbing his hands together. He seemed to be the owner of the market.

“Incidentally, what is your budget?”

“I’m not planning on buying any.”

“I say, me neither.”

“Selling then, perhaps?” The man glanced at Niku and Ichika.

“Nope.”

“Not mine to sell.”

“Tch, just window shoppers, huh? Get the hell out of here.” The man clicked his tongue and spat, his attitude undergoing a complete reversal.

“Wow, you’re a real charmer, huh?”

“No point wasting my time acting all nice to fuckers that aren’t gonna spend any money. Or what, are you actually gonna sell those two hot bitches over there? I’ll pay a gold for both! Take a look!” The man took out a gold coin from his pocket and slammed it onto the desk.

“I say, on top of being incredibly rude, you are underselling them both by an absurd amount.”

“Fuck off. If you don’t wanna sell, then fucking don’t. But hey, if either of you want to sell yourselves, I’d say you’re each worth five whole golds. I’ll cough up fifty silvers for a night of good fucking, too.” The man looked over Rokuko and Emmymephy with a nasty grin.

“Putting a price on me? I say, I’m beginning to think I should have him executed for treason.”

“If he’s the kidnapper, wouldn’t that be ideal anyway?”

“Mmm, well, I am technically undercover right now. I shall overlook his rudeness.”

“Yeah, yeah, get the fuck out. I don’t have the time to babysit kids and their window shopping. Go home and suck on your mommy’s tits.” The man shooed them away... and then his eyes fell on a certain part of Emmymephy’s body. He snorted. “Ah, my bad. I take back the five golds bit. With a chest like that, you’re worth three at best.”

.........

“LET GO OF ME, ICHIKA! I WILL HAVE THAT MAN EXECUTED! HE WILL DIIIIIIE!”

“Yeah, yeah. Look, we did go in there to window shop, so let’s just play nice and leave, okay, girl?” Ichika pinned the outraged Emmymephy’s arms behind her back to drag her outside. And naturally, that meant Ichika’s huge boobs were pushing against Emmymephy’s back.

“ICHIKAAA! Are you pushing your boobs against me on purpose?! Huh?! ARE YOU A TREASONOUS DOG TOO?!”

“Girl, you know I can’t help this.”

“I will accept that they are soft and feel nice!”

On that day, they bore witness to the divide between the rich and the poor, the status-based society built upon breasts.

“I get how you feel, Mephy, but I mean... Five golds is pretty cheap for me too, don’t you think?”

“Dudes, he gave shitty prices on purpose to piss you off and make you leave.” After all, Niku had been appraised to be worth a single gold back in Tsia’s slave market, and that was when she had no skills and was still weak as all hell. It wasn’t hard for Ichika to conclude the man had been giving absurdly low prices on purpose to tick them off. He had no intention of buying any of them in the first place.

“He made sure we weren’t planning to buy or sell first, so like, all of that was just some jokin’ around. That’s how we commoners talk to each other, y’know? Even at our inn, we kick out people who don’t plan on paying. The only difference is we’re a bit more polite about it,” Ichika explained.

“True. We did stop being customers the second we said we weren’t going to buy or sell anyone,” Rokuko said with a nod.

“He did tell us to leave, too,” Niku added.

And so, the princess squad left the slave market.

“GRAAAH! GRAAAAAH I SAY!”

Though Emmymephy’s rage was far from being quelled.

The Imperial Princess Goes Sightseeing—Prison Vacation

For very complicated reasons, Emmymephy the imperial princess needed to get kidnapped. To accomplish that, she and Rokuko were casually sightseeing through a busy city.

Or that was the idea anyway, but in reality they were kidnapped and imprisoned without much issue. That was fine since they predicted she would be imprisoned, but the fact they lost contact with each other was not very satisfactory to say the least.

“Good grief... I wonder if Niku managed to meet up with Keima? If she did, it sure is taking them a long time to come get us.”

“I say, Rokuko, you’ll have to be more patient. It hasn’t even been half a day since we were kidnapped.”

“They should have come rescue us the second we were imprisoned. Sheesh, they can hardly call themselves bodyguards at this rate.”

“But I say, it will be quite the task to rescue us from a place like this,” Emmymephy said while looking up. She could see the blue sky above the shimmering water surface.

Indeed, they were at the bottom of a pond. The princess squad was imprisoned within a giant underwater bubble.

“By the way, girls, the kidnapper is over there.” Ichika pointed outside the bubble where a suspicious-looking person in robes was pounding the walls. They couldn’t hear what he was saying, despite the clear walls, but it seemed like he was shouting “Don’t ignore me!” or something of the sort.

“Don’t tell me that the kidnapper can’t come here freely,” Rokuko said.

“I say, that wouldn’t be good for us. What should we do for food and the bathroom?” Emmymephy said, which prompted Ichika to fish through the wagon.

“Princess Mephy, check out this bucket. It’ll do juuust fine.”

“...Well, I suppose we have {Purification} either way.” She grimaced a little, but using the bucket was no rare occurrence on lengthy journeys. As the imperial princess of the Laverio Empire, Emmymephy had trained in camping outside and wasn’t particularly bothered by using them.

“We’ve got food in {Storage} too, so yeah, girl, we’ll be totes fine.”

“Right. I have a lot of food too,” Rokuko said, though she could just use the DP she had to buy more food at any point. She could do so as much as she wanted with {Storage} as an excuse.

“Grrr. I say, I wanted to try eating the food the kidnapper gave us.”

“I’m sure it would just taste bad. Let’s use this opportunity to have fun instead,” Rokuko suggested. They were technically imprisoned underwater, but on second thought, the bubble was a beautiful place that had warm sunlight streaming down across the sandy floor. It was like a beach paradise, really, and since they had plenty of food and shelter it was the ideal spot for a vacation. Rokuko went ahead and took out a wooden beach chair to rest on.

“Rokuko, I say, where did you get that chair?”

“From {Storage}, where else? I figured this might happen.”

“This? You predicted this, really?”

She hadn’t. She’d bought the chair with DP.

“Want some juice? Oh, I should ask which flavor you want. I have orange juice, apple juice, and some melon soda. I’ll charge Wataru for it later.”

“That’s my girl! Toss me an apple, dude!” Ichika jumped on the opportunity to get juice without any second thought. Her acceptance of the situation was impressively speedy. Emmymephy, seeing that, got some juice for herself too.

“I say, you were perfectly prepared... Well, I suppose we shall just wait until rescue comes. Goodness, this juice is ice cold.”

“Maybe because I put it in {Storage} during the winter?” Rokuko was playing dumb, but of course she had just bought it with DP.

“Rokuko, girl, chairs are nice, but how about we get some hammock action up in here?”

“That sounds like a solid idea to me. Those are much better for sleeping,” Rokuko said while busting out hammocks and the materials to set them up.

“...I say, Rokuko, your {Storage} is like a bag of holding.”

“Huh? Don’t all bags hold things?”

“Bags of holding have, like, infinite storage, and you can get anything you want from within then.”

Rokuko nodded, having learned a new phrase.

...Meanwhile, the kidnapper had grown tired of pounding on the bubble, and was now lying on the ground. He was using {Water Creation} to drink when he was thirsty, but since he didn’t have any cups, he had to just drink it off his palm. It was like heaven and hell when compared to the princess squad sipping straws stuck in juice glasses.

“...Rokuko, what do you think of him?”

“Oh Mephy, does he even matter? I don’t think so. Want me to get a curtain so we don’t have to see him?”

“I say, you even have curtains in there?”

“Though actually, I would rather show him what he’s missing. Want to eat some pasta, Mephy? Our maid chef back in the inn made some fresh.”

“Certainly.”

Once Rokuko took out a steaming hot plate of delicious-looking meat sauce pasta from {Storage}, Emmymephy decided not to think about the kidnapper anymore.