Chapter 1

With the Dungeon Battle in the imperial capital safely over, I headed home to Goren with everyone else. Traveling to the capital took forever, but the way back was only a single day since we traveled through the [Ivory Beach]. It was kind of underwhelming in a way. But regardless, we stealthily returned to town and resumed our normal lives. We didn’t want anyone suggesting that we hold a welcome home party, after all.

I’ll give Wozma a report on our return after I’ve slept for a couple of days. I’m exhausted from all that work I did. Gotta get my sleep as the pope of Beddhism! True believers, know that sleeping is your duty! Plus, I’ve gotta organize all the stuff I won in the Dungeon Battle. There sure were a lot of rewards.

Leeet’s see. First up was the 70,000 DP left over from what Haku gave us. In the end, we didn’t use any of her funds on the Dungeon Battle itself. Next was Haku’s reward for us winning... which was Core 629, Mikan the rabbit Core, being assigned as our subordinate. Core 564 ended up as Mikan’s lackey, but that didn’t really matter, especially since the only way we had to contact them was my {Teleport}. Hopefully the message system Aidy asked Father to make works well.

Next up were the two pieces of the divine bedding that Father gave us. One was the Divine Quilt, the other was the Divine Alarm Clock. If we threw the Divine Comforter on top of that, we had three pieces of the divine bedding. The Divine Alarm Clock is technically part of the old seven pieces of divine bedding, but, uh... I’m sure it’s fine. It’s still considered divine bedding, so... Anyway, Maiodore has the Divine Pillow and Haku has the Divine Mattress stashed away somewhere, so both of those are within my reach. The last three pieces of the divine bedding—the Divine Nightcap, the Divine Pajamas, and the Divine Underwear of the new divine bedding set—are complete unknowns in regards to location and function.

Then there were the Boss Monster Spawners I got as a bonus. Two of them, even. I would probably get rich overnight if I used them to make Orichalcum Golems. Bwahaha...! I’ll make a small one first and see how long it takes to regenerate. Don’t want them saying Orichalcum Golems are so unique they’ll take a hundred years to regenerate, with the spawners unusable in the meantime.

Last but not least was the Dungeon Core that Father gave me, but I wasn’t planning on using it. I would rather play it safe and boost my {Ultra Transformation} skill to max through Dummy Cores first, to guarantee that the Core would give me a new skill. Dummy Cores gave you experience for existing skills, but they couldn’t become new skills.

...What about the right to hug Rokuko? Oh yeah, I forgot about that.

＊ ＊ ＊

Anyway. With all that considered, I went to the exact middle of the coliseum area in our dungeon. It was the perfect place to experiment with {Ultra Transformation}, and I needed to follow through on my ideas immediately before I forgot.

“Out you go, Dummy Cores.”

I bought two Dummy Cores for 10,000 DP, then quickly cut them in half with an orichalcum sword (the one I had gotten last year, having only used some of its blade as metal parts). Leona had said that it was safe to destroy three of them at once, but I decided to scale it down a bit for safety’s sake. Her word was anything but trustworthy, after all.

...That reminds me, we got a purple Dummy Core from Rokuko rolling the gacha forever ago. I wonder if I could have destroyed that instead. Yeah, I’ll try that out next year if I remember. Why is it purple, anyway? Pretty sure they’re normally white... Maybe it’s not a Dummy Core at all? You know what, that’s actually pretty scary, so I’m just gonna leave it in {Storage}. Time is stopped in there, after all. The Divine Alarm Clock and Dungeon Core I got for my rewards were tossed into {Storage} too. Which is also where my orichalcum sword will be going in just a second.

You know, I feel like those super dangerous Gravity Bombs that Rin gave me are still in there too... My {Storage} is kind of a ridiculously dangerous treasure room. It’s kind of turned into a Pandora’s Box, but, uh... Let’s not think about that.

I shifted my thoughts to {Ultra Transformation}, which had indeed safely leveled up. My soul didn’t feel particularly corrupted. Not that I knew for sure whether I could feel soul corruption anyway.

Level 5, huh? Apparently Dummy Cores won’t give enough experience to level up the skill on their own quickly, but that’s two levels for me. I wonder what the max level for it is? But either way, the changes are... yeah, they just popped up in my head. I’ll go ahead and show effects for the first three levels too.

— In each 24-hour period, you can transform into one thing you envision per skill level. (Five times per period at level 5.)

— Level 1: You can transform into something that exists.

— Level 2: You can mimic some abilities of what you’ve transformed into.

— Level 3: Once per 72-hour period, if you die while transformed, you can revive by undoing the transformation.

— Level 4: You can transform into something that existed in the past. (New!)

— Level 5: Relaxation on the limits of what you can do while transformed. You can now use the unique skills and powers of what you’re transformed into. (New!)

...And there it is.

First of all, I could transform five times a day instead of three times. That was pretty good. A simple power boost with no strings attached. Next.

The Level 4 power let me transform into something that had existed in the past. Up until now I could only transform into things that were actively existing in the world. An easy to understand example would be me transforming into Rokuko. Up until now I’ve only been able to transform into Big Rokuko, not Loli Rokuko. Reason being, Loli Rokuko didn’t exist anywhere in the world while Rokuko was in Big form. But now I could transform into either at any given moment.

However, there were limits to that. For example, to transform into a letter before it was burned, I would need to have seen the letter prior to it being burned. It was necessary for me to have at least seen something briefly to transform into it and that applied to things in the past as well. Too bad, it would have been pretty useful if I could transform into a person when they were younger, or a stone manuscript before it broke apart.

Anyway, Level 5. It was kind of like a powered up version of Level 2’s effect. As a concrete example, at Level 2 you couldn’t fly even if you transformed into a Gargoyle. Only Level 5 would let you fly. Their wings were for show, after all, and they used a {Flying} skill to actually do it.

Up until now, I could only use weak skills when transformed, but there was depth to that. Level 2 said I could mimic some abilities, but in general what it actually meant was that I could use skills I knew myself if I worked really hard, though there was a limit to that.

Either way, I can still use {Element Burst} which is all I need to fight, and at some point I can use {Create Golem} and {Summon Gargoyle} even when transformed into myself. I dunno why, but maybe it’s a bug or something. {Element Burst} being so weird might have caused problems.

In any case, regarding the “You can now use the unique skills and powers of what you’re transformed into” part, that meant if I transformed into a monster that used skills to fly, I could fly as well. But I wouldn’t be a master of the skill or anything close to it. The situation could best be compared to buying a bike and then being unable to ride it without practicing first. I would copy their skill, but not their experience or feel for using it. I’d need to practice if I wanted to fly freely through the air. That was kinda annoying.

“Keima! There you are.”

“Hm? Oh, Rokuko.”

She entered the coliseum... and just seeing her made me feel a little awkward. You could probably guess why, but putting that aside for now, I did my best to greet her with a composed expression.

“What’s up?”

“Wozma’s been looking for you. He was all in a panic, saying you should go to him as soon as you get back.”

Ahhhh, right. Even if I hide, he could guess I’m back from everyone else being home. But I wonder what he’s panicking about? The town seems pretty peaceful, and Rei’s report didn’t mention any problems in particular. Maybe some real deal errand popped up out of nowhere?

“I just noticed a second ago, but a new town was built. Maybe he wants to talk about that?”

“Huh? Our town’s been built here forever. What’s he talking about?”

“Oh, no, not our town.”

“What?”

Rokuko stood next to me and opened up her map. Whoa there, too close, too close.

“Come on, Keima, look at the map.”

“Right, right... Sorry, I’m just, uh. Y’know?”

“...Wh-What are you getting all embarrassed about? We’re partners. You’re gonna make me embarrassed too at this rate! Just look!” Rokuko said, pointing at the map while blushing. There was a collection of buildings large enough to be called a town... on the other side of the Tsia Mountain tunnel.

“...What’s all that about?”

“I told you, it’s a town. A town.”

“I mean, I know, but... Rei didn’t mention it in her report.”

“When she said ‘There have been more humans lately,’ she was probably talking about this.”

“Oh yeah... I kinda remember her saying that. But wait, does that mean the immigrants we got from the Dragon business started their own town over there?”

“That could be it.”

Well, they’re still in dungeon territory, so it’s no skin off my back. But Wozma’s the actual boss of this town and he thinks it’s important, so I’ll do my job as a figurehead and go talk to him.

＊ ＊ ＊

“In short, a new town has been built on the other side of the tunnel.”

As expected, Wozma wanted to talk to me about the town on the other side of the tunnel. It was completely unrelated to Goren, and despite some similarities it was an independent town.

Its name was Dragg. It kind of seemed similar to Goren, at which point I realized the name was probably taken straight from Dragon. That made sense. We were near Tsia Mountain after all, and there had just been all that Dragon business.

Anyway, the town chief of Dragg was a Pavella noble by the name of Count Ringen Lodol. Apparently, he had invited an overwhelming number of immigrants to Pavella’s side of the mountain and formed a small town with those who left.

But practically speaking, that had no impact on our dungeon whatsoever. I had already made the other side of the mountain into dungeon territory. Towns growing over there just meant more profit for us. And indeed, the large number of people were already earning us tons of DP.

In conclusion: It wasn’t a problem for our Dungeon, and from Rei’s perspective it was actually to our benefit to let them just do whatever they wanted. With that in mind, it only made sense that I would completely overlook it in the report.

“It seems that they have built an inn of their own.”

“Oh, nice. That means less customers we have to deal with at our inn.” And we’ll get their DP without having to accommodate them at all. Less work we have to do for the same pay. What’s not to love? Let’s hope they keep expanding.

“...Erm. Excuse me, town chief. It sounded like you just said that’s nice.”

“I sure did.”

“Even though our inn will receive less customers?”

“That’s exactly why it’s nice. There’ll be less work for us to do. I was just about to say that the inn’s getting too busy for us to handle.”

Because seriously, the reason I made the inn in the first place was to give myself a place to sleep. And yet once the town was built, we got so busy I needed to get a bunch of employees, and once things were calming down, a Dragon came, which made us even more busy. There was nothing I wanted more than for some other inn to take our customers.

Especially since I wasn’t even doing this for money. I could sleep in the chief residence or the church if I wanted to, so yeah, it wouldn’t be wrong to say I was just done with the inn. It was a thing of the past and I didn’t care anymore, though it was still useful to experiment with customer satisfaction and have a place for Haku to stay when she visited.

“...I suppose you have been expanding into other businesses, sir.”

“Wait, have I? Pretty sure the only other gig I have going on is the whole pope thing. What else is there?”

Wozma sighed, then began listing them all out. “There are the farms, the businesses, the bars, and many other things which they are copying in their town.”

“Oh? If they’re copying us, does that mean they’ve got a church and everything?”

“...They do have shrines, where they worship the Ivory Goddess, the Business God, the Smithing God, and the Food God.”

...Maybe I should ask them to make a shrine for Beddhism. Actually, nah, that sounds like work. Our own town has the first church of Beddhism after all. Might as well say that all inns are shrines of Beddhism or something.

“Furthermore, it seems their church has been dedicated to creating something special, though I do not know what it is.”

“Whoa, really? I can’t wait to see what that is. I’m gonna have to go check it out once it’s done.”

“I see...” Wozma said with a heavy sigh. He seemed pretty tired.

“Hm? Wait, does that mean there’s a new dungeon on the other side of the tunnel?” I asked, despite knowing for sure there wasn’t. Something as major as a new dungeon wouldn’t have been a minor part in Rei’s report at all. That’d be a big deal for us, and she would have given me the full details.

“No, as expected, they are unable to recreate our dungeon.”

“Perfect. Then what’s the problem? Our whole town was built because of it.” Really, what I want to know is why they bothered making Dragg on the other side of the tunnel when there’s no dungeon there. Don’t tell me they just wanted to compete with Goren for some reason.

The thought occurred to me, but it was more likely that the other side of the tunnel was just a good spot for a town. There may not have been a dungeon over there, but traveling merchants would be crossing through the town and bringing a decent amount of trade. It was along the road connecting Tsia and Pavella, after all, so it was guaranteed to have foot traffic. Even while competing with Goren it was a good spot.

Especially considering how many people were here due to all that Dragon business. No way would even a halfway competent noble miss this opportunity, which Count Lodol presumably was. It was stranger that a town hadn’t been built on such fertile ground before now, really. The only explanation I could come up with was that they started planning to build the town once the tunnel was made, and it took until two months ago for them to finally reach the building phase.

After all, the [Flame Caverns] were right there. Goren was closer to it, but it would be completely reasonable for Dragg to pave a road to the entrance and make it easily accessible from their side of the mountain.

“Well, maybe another town will help the traveling merchants out. They’ll be able to trade without passing through the tunnel, and there will be more spots for them to rest. Hopefully this just grows trade between us and Dragg.”

Not to mention that merchants had to pay money to use the tunnel, which only meant more profit for us.

“B-But... Is that not exactly what Dragg wants?”

“...Huh? Is there a problem with them getting what they want? It’s not like we’re enemies or anything.”

“We’re not... enemies?”

Why’s Wozma thinking of Dragg as our enemy? I dunno what he’s basing that on, but maybe something happened that I don’t know about?

“What, you want us to treat them like enemies? Are they messing up the peace and order here or something?”

“Er, no, they have reasonable amounts of order there. Ahem, well, if you don’t think they are enemies, sir, then I suppose, well...”

“At the end of the day, they’re on the other side of the tunnel, and it doesn’t belong to either of us. They’re not stealing any land from us and there’s a clear line dividing our towns.” Or so I’m going to pretend anyway. It’ll be my secret that our dungeon’s actually taking the tunnel passage fees.

“The truth is, when they built the town they... not quite declared war on us, but made an announcement that removed all doubt about them being hostile toward us.”

“Oh yeah? What’d they say?”

“They said that you are a fraudster that sits on a throne of lies, sir.”

.........

I waited for a second, but Wozma didn’t say anything else.

“Is that all? I mean, I imagine you’re summarizing it, but...”

“Yes, I am, and many townsfolk heard them disparaging you.”

“Was it that bad?”

“The part about you being an upstart lolicon was within reason, but that was only the beginning of their tirade.”

...Within reason, seriously? You’re fine with me being called a lolicon? I’m not!

“Unbelievably, they even said that you were not serious about your work, and in fact did nothing at all...! They claimed you were a figurehead that pushed all his work onto others!”

...?

.........?

Oh! Ohhhh, okay, I get it. Everything makes sense now. Wozma doesn’t want people figuring out that I’m a figurehead and he’s actually running things. He’s the one worried here. Man, I just did not understand what he was getting at. Because it’s the truth.

“Sheesh, you’re getting that mad for my sake? You sure are a hard worker.”

“Not as much as you are, sir.”

“Hahaha, yeah right.”

Still, to think they’d see through the act and figure out I was just a figurehead... Dragg’s town chief must be a real competent guy. Maybe I should go butter him up or something?

“So, they went out of their way to not quite declare war on us, but still announce they hate our guts. Does that mean they’ve been pulling dick moves on us over the past couple of months? Like building a toll gate by the tunnel exit and charging yet another fee to go through?”

“No, nothing like that so far.”

Figures. If they just wanted to spite us, they’d build the gate and decrease the number of traveling merchants without building a whole town.

“...Why’d they make the town?”

“May I suggest that you discuss the matter with their town chief?”

“Good idea. Well, Wozma. Make it happen.”

“Erm?!”

And so, I would be meeting their town chief on some future date. Meanwhile, I would be lazily lying about in time to recover from my exhausting journey.

...Oh, they saw through me because I do things like this? Oh well, no helping that.

＊ ＊ ＊

We set up a meeting in no time. The adventurer we sent off with letters came back with two positive responses. But the meeting would be held where Count Lodol wanted⁠—in other words, Dragg. That was entirely fine by me. It was the perfect opportunity to go check out their town. I could bring some Golem Beets with me as a gift.

That said, the day before the meeting, Wozma seemed pretty unhappy with all that.

“Why must you go there yourself? Goodness, sir, you must be more firm with these kinds of things.”

“Whoa, now. I know that’s what you want in a town chief, Wozma, but if I start acting tough for no reason there’s gonna be some cracks. You might as well give up on me acting like someone I’m not.”

“...You certainly are a kind individual, indeed. I suppose there is nothing that can be done about this.”

Glad you agree. I’m a figurehead, the last thing we want is cracks forming around me. And most importantly, acting all stiff is exhausting, so I’m glad I don’t have to bother with it.

“That said, you are still a legend that defeated a Dragon. Please act at least a little self-important.”

“Fine, fine. So don’t act polite? Well, we’re dealing with a count here, so maybe I should be polite.”

“You may speak casually.”

That felt a bit off when dealing with nobles, but if Wozma said so he was probably right.

“Alright. Well, this may be a meeting, but it’s not like we’ve got much to talk about. This’ll just be a way for us to buddy up a little.”

“Please be sure to use this opportunity to ask about their future plans for developing Dragg.”

“Sure. Wait... You’re not coming, Wozma?”

“Is there a need for me to?” he asked, having apparently come here just to see me off. If the idea here is for us to form a friendship, Wozma’s hostility for them won’t be very helpful. Not like we’re going to hold any important discussions about anything.

With that settled, I went to the tunnel that went through Tsia Mountain. Accompanying me on the walk were Ichika and Niku. We could have just placed ourselves there to speed up the process, but we needed an alibi. Besides, there was nothing wrong with the occasional walk. Might as well use the opportunity to double check the tunnel I made a while ago.

First was the entrance to the tunnel. I built it to look like a normal cave entrance from the outside, but at some point it had been touched up a little, and now it resembled the entrance to a proper man-made tunnel. To be specific, there were beams forming a rectangular structure in front of it. Given that it was part of the dungeon, the tunnel wouldn’t actually collapse as long as the Dungeon Core existed, and anything placed inside would be absorbed by the dungeon (we did so by hand), so it really was just decoration for the entrance. The inside of the tunnel was dark, with travelers being expected to bring their own sources of light.

Passing through brought one to a cave with an exposed dirt floor, though one that was equally smooth throughout. I had built the tunnel at a slight incline to help with ventilation, but only after finishing did I notice that the dungeon naturally absorbed carbon dioxide and other stuff heavier than air, which provided natural ventilation.

There were light producing magic tools placed along the tunnel at various intervals, and as I walked past them with my Golem assistance we passed by a merchant carriage coming from Pavella’s side. The tunnel was wide enough for two carriages to pass each other easily, so we didn’t need to run against a wall or anything. It was common knowledge in this world for people to walk on the side of the roads to not get in the way of carriages, so carriages coming from behind us wouldn’t be a problem either.

...Maybe I should dig into the wall and make some rest spots for pedestrians.

We kept walking for a bit, arriving at the midway point with the toll area. The tunnel widened to accommodate the area, and several rooms were lined up. It took a lot of work to set all this up, so let me explain.

Each room of the toll area had three layers of walls in it. The walls had a crystal ball embedded in them as a switch, and pressing them would cause the walls to slide up into the ceiling. You could think of them as basically being shutters.

There was a wall at the entrance, in the middle, and at the exit. But naturally, you couldn’t go from both sides at once. Opening one side would lock the door on the other side.

When you pressed the crystal ball embedded in the middle wall, the entrance wall would close, and a price based on the total weight in the room would be announced. If you couldn’t pay, you could just leave through the entrance. But by putting money into a hole in the middle wall, it would open and you could go to the other side. There was no change given, so it was important not to overpay.

Anyway, once you tried opening the exit wall, the middle wall would close before it opened. The people and/or carriages inside would pass through, then the exit wall would close.

Man, I sure went through a lot of different versions before settling on this style. It took a lot of work before I got a system that worked.

My efforts seemed to have been rewarded, as there hadn’t been any problems with it so far. But hey, feel free to get crushed by a closing wall and die. That’ll be free DP for me, and we’ll take your stuff to put in [Cave of Greed] chests.

Incidentally, {Storage} was pretty overpowered given that the price was based on weight, but there was no helping that. I did the best I could with Golems, but they just couldn’t see into someone’s {Storage].

Anyway, three walkers without any luggage ran a price of about ten coppers. We paid as we passed through for the sake of our alibi. It didn’t mean anything since all that money went right back into our pockets, but appearances were appearances.

Once that was done, all we had to do was walk to Pavella... but halfway there, Ichika let out an enormous sigh. “Guuuh... This sucks.”

“Hm? What’s wrong, Ichika?”

“I mean, we’re heading to a Pavella town, right? That means there’s gonna be Pavella dudes over there, and I bet one of ’em is gonna recognize me from my ‘ye olde adventuring’ days...”

Oh yeah, Ichika from before she was enslaved... I wonder what kinda stuff she pulled to feel that bad about it.

“All I gotta say is, I did some shit with food, man. They didn’t call me the Food Monster for nothing.”

“Makes sense.” That alone was enough for me to guess what kind of heavy sins she had committed. “Hm... What do you think about wearing a mask to hide your face?”

“Yo, that sounds dope. If I keep my mouth shut, nobody will recognize me in these hella fancy clothes.”

Note that Ichika and Niku were at the moment wearing their maid uniforms from the inn. They were serving as my attendants here, and maid outfits were kind of a natural fit for attendants, so it all came together perfectly.

“Gimme one second, then. {Create Golem}... And, done. Here.”

“So fast! But also, so predictable. Thanks.”

I handed a smooth, gray mask made of stone to Ichika, after attaching some leather and string to it first. She pulled it over her face right away.

“A bit hard to see, but not bad. I can breathe just fine too,” she said, her voice coming out muffled due to the mask covering her mouth. Given the change in her voice that probably meant she could talk a bit without issue too.

...That said, feels kinda like maid outfits and a stone mask don’t go super well together. Maybe if the mask covered just her eyes... Or you know, now that I think about it, this actually looks kind of cool? Like an assassin maid, I thought, and Niku pulled on my sleeve.

“...Master. I want a mask like that too.”

“No problem. Here.”

It was rare for Niku to ask for something, so I gladly made her a mask and handed it over. This time, I used my newfound experience to make it cover just her eyes. Niku put it on at once.

Yeah, covering just the eyes looks a lot less intimidating. But, uh, two girls in maid outfits wearing stone masks is kind of a bizarre sight. I feel like anyone passing us by is gonna do a double take. Maybe I should put on my Narikin mask to hide too... Ah, guess I can’t since I’m visiting as the Goren town chief. Dang.

“Oh, hey, there’s the exit.”

“Guess I’ll shut my trap then. If something happens I’ll just tap you on the shoulder or something, ’kay?”

“Sounds good.”

The light from the exit meant we didn’t have to carry our lanterns anymore. We had finally arrived at Dragg.

We exited the tunnel through Tsia and found a kingdom of snow, or rather, a town filled with white buildings. The architecture was a lot like what we saw in the port town of Pavella, what with the square white buildings that resembled what you’d see in European towns by the Aegean Sea. They were probably using some kind of mortar for it. Due to either the recent construction or all the cleaning, the buildings were pure white, making it seem at first glance that the town was covered in snow.

The white buildings were lined up along either side of the road exiting the tunnel through Tsia mountain, as if it were entirely like the main street of a city. Or, well, it was a main street, except the city was still a town and there weren’t enough people to really consider it a main street.

“Seems like the town’s a lot better planned than Goren.”

“That’s ’cause Goren’s all about the [Cave of Greed]. People kinda just built stuff on a whim, so yeah.”

In either case, we were visiting as promised. Maybe someone was waiting for us here, but looking around didn’t reveal anyone who seemed to be waiting.

Hmmm? Well, I can probably just go to Dragg’s town chief’s residence here. We have an appointment and everything.

I called out to a passerby who looked like a villager to ask for directions. “Hey, got a second?”

“Hm? What’s up, bro? You sure got some hella scary-looking friends with you,” the villager replied with a distinct Pavellan accent, looking at the masked Ichika and Niku dubiously. I could understand how he felt, honestly. If I saw someone with companions like this I would think they were suspicious too.

“Do you know where the town chief’s residence here is?”

“Y’mean Count Lodol’s mansion? My man, it’s right over there,” he replied while pointing at a mansion some distance away. Or, well, I said mansion, but it looked like any other white cube house here. The only difference was the white wall surrounding it.

“Makes sense. Thanks.”

“No prob, my man.”

I gave him a large copper as a payment for the information (which was ten small coppers, about 1,000 yen in Earth terms). He left with a satisfied look.

Ichika plopped a hand on my shoulder. “Master, my dude, one large copper for info is way too much.”

“Going overboard is what legendary Dragon-slaying heroes do, no?”

“...If that’s what you’re going for, sure.”

With Ichika’s approval earned, we headed to Count Lodol’s mansion. Along the way, we passed by several houses under construction. It definitely felt like a town that was incomplete.

We got to the front gates. There was a guard standing guard... of course. I wasn’t so rude as to just silently walk by, so I called out to him.

“Working hard or hardly working, am I right?”

“.........”

Apparently, the guard wasn’t the talkative type. I tried again.

“I’ve got an appointment to see Count Lodol today. Can we pass through?”

“...Tell me about those maids. Why do they wear the masks?” the guard replied. Rather than being untalkative, he had just been taken aback by my masked maids.

“They’re my attendants. That’s all I have to say on the matter.”

“R-Right...”

“So, can we pass through?”

“Sure... E-Er, wait! No!” he said, coming back to his senses and moving to block our path. I put a hand on Niku’s shoulder to stop her from protectively standing in front of me.

“Just to be clear, I do have an appointment. I’m Keima Goren, the town chief of Goren. You should know what to do.”

“What do you have to prove your identity?”

Oh right, my ID. I’ll just grab my guild card, I thought, only to be interrupted before I could put a hand in my pocket.

“I, uh, speaking of which, I heard the town chief of Goren defeated a Dragon. If you’re the real thing, show me... a scale or something from the Dragon. Then I’ll let you pass,” the guard said, his tone stiff like he was reading from a script. Somebody had probably ordered him to say that.

Looks like I’m being tested here... Guess Wozma was right to say I’m being looked down on. But sure, I’ve got a scale Igni gave me after all the Dragon business. Haven’t done much with them since offering one up to Emperor Lionel. They’ve just been stuck in {Storage} ever since. Guess now’s the time to bust them out.

“Here. How’s it look?” I said, taking out a scale from {Storage}—and despite just being one scale, it was the size of my palm, looking more like a chunk of ore than anything.

“W-Wait, that’s a real scale?”

“Yep, straight off the Flame Dragon itself. I’ll be going in now.”

“W-Wait!”

I thought he’d let me in after I showed him the scale, but he still called me back.

“I need to check to make sure that’s real! If it is, a metal hammer like this one wouldn’t even land a scratch on it!” the guard exclaimed before taking out a metal hammer and anvil like one might see in a smithy. I dunno why he has a metal hammer and anvil at the ready, but they both seem to be made of iron. Not a chance either of them will lay a scratch on a real Flame Dragon scale.

“Sure, fine.” I set the scale onto the anvil.

“W-Wait, you don’t mind? I’m gonna do it! If it’s a fake, it’ll shatter to pieces!”

“Go ahead.”

The guard faced the scale, looking a bit anxious, then held the hammer high and—

“URYAAAAH! {Fire Stamp}!”

—used a skill that wrapped the hammer in flames and boosted his attack power as he swung it down as hard as he could. Dong! A metallic sound, ill-fitted to material taken from a living being, reverberated through the air.

But we were dealing with a Flame Dragon scale here. It took the hammer blow head-on without even cracking a bit. In fact, it absorbed the fire and ended up looking glossier than before.

“...N-No way! There’s not even a scratch on it... Th-This is a real Flame Dragon scale?!”

“Satisfied?” Sheesh, what a guard this guy is, I thought while picking up the scale and putting it into my pocket. “And here, here’s my guild card as some ID. Can I go through now?”

“...What?! B-Rank?! F-Forgive me, sir! I had no idea!” the guard exclaimed, straightening his back and bowing his head politely. Yep. B-Ranks are nobles, and this is the kinda treatment that being a noble gets you.

“Hey, you just did your job as a guard. No hard feelings. Oh, and should you send word or something?”

“Sir! I will send word immediately. Please wait just a moment,” the guard said before racing through the gate into the mansion. I waited as he asked, and before long a butler-looking guy came out.

“M-My apologies for the wait, noble Keima. Come right this way. My lord is waiting for you.”

He looked kinda sick, but I didn’t rudely ask whether he had been getting enough sleep.

Once inside the mansion, we were taken to a parlor, and Count Lodol showed up not much later. He was a middle-aged man with a protruding belly, covered in so many fancy accessories and articles of clothing it was kind of garish. Each of his fingers had rings with sizable gemstones in them, probably to show off how much money he was making.

“So you’ve arrived. I am Ringen Lodol, head of house Lodol.”

“Nice to meet you. I’m Keima Goren.”

“...Why are your servants wearing masks?”

“Ah, they’re just into that kind of thing. Don’t worry about it.”

“I-I see...”

With our greetings exchanged, we sat down in our seats. But Count Lodol seemed pretty distracted by my masked maids, and his narrowed eyes were glued on them. Seems like he’s particularly interested in Masked Maid Number 1 (Ichika)... Don’t tell me Ichika’s problems were with Count Lodol of all people.

“So, how about we talk about Goren and Dragg’s future?” I said, forcibly changing the topic to get his attention off her.

“Ah, yes, of course. Let’s see here... Our future, hmm?”

“I’d like our towns to have a good relationship moving forward.”

“I see! That is what I like to hear,” Count Lodol said before leaning back in his chair and gesturing forward with his fingers. It looked kind of like he was fingering the air, but that couldn’t be right.

As I looked on in confusion, Ichika tapped my shoulder. “Master, he’s asking you to give him a hella bribe.”

“Ah. Okay.”

Once Ichika told me that, it all made sense. It was only logical that negotiations with a noble would be predicated on bribes. But won’t he look down on me if I just go ahead and bribe him? Hmm, y’know, I really should have brought Wozma with me.

“Do I really have to give him something?”

“Dude, I have no idea. Maybe you should just give him a gift or something? I know you brought something with you.”

Oh, yeah. I had prepared some snacks (an arrangement of Golem Beets) for him. I went ahead and took the sweets box out of {Storage}, then set it on the table.

“It’s not much, but here.”

“Hmph. Very well.”

Count Lodol took the box of sweets with a nasty grin, then rang a bell and gave it to his steward to take away. He probably likes sweet food, given his portly size.

“You should probably check the box before the day’s over.”

“Of course, of course. When the time comes.”

That’s perishable food, y’know. Though they’re freshly baked thanks to {Storage}.

“With that done, what are your requests?” Count Lodol asked, adjusting his sitting posture to face me directly. Uh, requests? I didn’t think of anything like that.

“...Nothing in particular. At most, I just want us to stay on good terms, like I said.”

“Good terms? Ahaha, ahaha! I see, good terms!” Count Lodol exclaimed, laughing joyously. He had tested me down at the gate, but maybe he was a surprisingly good person. “In that case, continue serving as town chief in Goren. You’ve finally come home, after all. I would like someone who understands things like you do to stay in power.”

“Sure?” I’d keep being the town chief whether he asked me to or not. Though I’m just a figurehead.

“Oh. Wait, there is one thing.”

“Hm? I expected as much. Go on, say it. I don’t mind giving you a paltry gift if need be.”

“There’s an inn in Dragg too, yeah?”

“Indeed there is. We are in the process of constructing a second. Oh, that reminds me. You are managing an inn of your own, no?”

“Yep. Thanks to your inn, we’ve been getting fewer customers as of late.”

“Ahaha! Well, what follows is all up to your attitude. Are we on the same page?”

“Yep, and thanks. I’d like about as many customers as I used to get way back when.”

I wanted to say back before we had to have the Silkies split into multiple copies (under the guise of hiring their relatives), but that would be revealing a bit too much. We would be fine with Count Lodol drawing customers over to Dragg instead. After all, it was putting the cart before the horse to let a side business take up more of our time than our main business.

With that in mind, the ideal amount of customers was how many we had right before the Dragon stuff. And hey, I wouldn’t mind going even further back than that.

“In that case, I have a request for you as well.”

“Yeah?”

“We are in the middle of building a Beddhist church in Dragg, but we have no one that is familiar with Beddhism here. It’s been a struggle for us.”

Oh yeah, I remember hearing about that. I’d love for them to build a church bigger and better than ours here to draw away all our worshipers. But if they don’t build it in the right way, everyone would just shake their heads and stick to our church. That wouldn’t be good at all. I’ve gotta help him out here.

“So you want me to send an experienced Beddhist over?”

“Quite. I hear that you have many, ahem, nuns in that church of yours.”

Ahhh, the Succubi. At this point they’ve completely adapted to their lives as Beddhist nuns, and they’re even holding mass on their own. If they keep an eye on construction, the church is definitely gonna end up as a fine Beddhist church.

“Alright. I’ll send an experienced nun over.”

“Aha! We are on the same page after all. Be sure they’re a young nun, understand?” Count Lodol said, wearing an even nastier grin than before.

“Sure. A young nun. I have one that’s pretty well-educated, so it’ll be no problem at all.”

“I see, I see! A well-educated young nun, hm!”

Michiru’s the youngest, but even she knows third grade math and the principles of Beddhism. She can even hold mass if she has to. She’s done it before and it got pretty good reception. Though everyone had just smiled warmly throughout.

“The church will end up fine if you build it according to her specifications.”

“Very well.”

Count Lodol and I exchanged a handshake.

Sweet. Now the inn and the church are all settled. Can’t wait for my life to get a lot easier! Now all I have to do is look around Dragg for a bit before going home.

# Count Lodol’s Perspective

Keima Goren, the town chief of Goren, had at some point arrived back at his home. Count Lodol learned of this only when the person himself sent a request for a meeting.

“Why has that fraudster returned?” Count Lodol asked himself. He had concluded Keima was a fraudster forced to flee the town after his lies had caught up to him, but he had returned nonetheless. “Well, regardless. Despite his flaws he still made an entire town for me to take. I shall deign to meet him.”

And so the date for the meeting was established posthaste. But only after sending his reply did Lodol realize the possibility that the swindler had returned only to scam money out of him, now that he had built this wonderful town of Dragg.

“If that is the case, he will no doubt present materials from the Flame Dragon to establish his superiority. I will have to strike first.”

And so, he instructed the gate guard to destroy whatever fake claw or scale Keima presented as being from the Flame Dragon.

“No matter what forgery he prepares, a blacksmith will be able to destroy it! Bwahaha!”

To that end, he assigned a guard who was the son of a blacksmith to stand the gate, with an iron hammer and anvil prepared nearby. If Keima was ordered to present Dragon materials to prove his identity, he would no doubt proudly take them right out. Then they would be shattered before his very eyes. Just imagining what face he would make made Lodol grin. When he entered the mansion afterwards, Lodol could exploit his depression to make unfair deals.

Lodol put all the pieces in place, and the day of the meeting arrived. There was no need for him to send someone out to greet Keima. His mansion was so splendid that anyone would notice right away. And so, Count Lodol waited leisurely in his room.

Eventually, his steward came to report that the town chief of Goren had arrived. He looked a bit sick, but Count Lodol wasn’t one to pay mind to the concerns of his subordinates. He eagerly headed to the parlor where Keima was waiting. Now that he was depressed from his fake materials being shattered, it was the perfect opportunity to exploit him.

He threw the door open and strutted in with all the pride of a noble count. “So you’ve arrived. I am Ringen Lodol, head of house Lodol.”

“Nice to meet you. I’m Keima Goren.”

They exchanged greetings, at which point Count Lodol found his eyes drawn behind Keima. His two maids were dressed quite oddly. Or to be specific, they had on smooth gray masks.

“...Why are your servants wearing masks?”

“Ah, they’re just into that kind of thing. Don’t worry about it.”

“I-I see...”

But regardless, their uniforms were exceptionally alluring. Putting aside the beastkin child that the rumors had spoken of, his other maid’s sizable bust was emphasized; it was quite the sight to behold. Though her creepy stone mask did kind of spoil the mood.

“So, how about we talk about Goren and Dragg’s future?” Keima said. It was then that Count Lodol realized he had missed his opportunity to rebuke Keima for speaking so casually to a noble such as himself. Trying to do so now would simply look ungraceful for him. What a devious fraudster... Count Lodol should have expected he would be a master of manipulating others through conversation.

“Ah, yes, of course. Let’s see here... Our future, hmm?”

“I’d like our towns to have a good relationship moving forward.”

“I see! That is what I like to hear,” Count Lodol said, interpreting that as Keima saying he wished to serve under him. He gestured for Keima to provide a bribe suitable for such a drastic measure, but his reaction was slow.

After a moment, one of his maids, the hot busty one, stepped forward to whisper into his ear. The fraudster was a commoner, and apparently hadn’t understood his noble gesture. But his maid did recognize it, which meant she was probably a high-class prostitute or something of the sort.

“It’s not much, but here.”

“Hmph. Very well.”

It probably wasn’t very much, but Count Lodol accepted the box of money. It was lighter than one would expect from a box its size. As expected of a swindler’s bribe, the box was fine in appearance but light in substance. Count Lodol handed it over to his steward. He would forgive Keima’s rude language in exchange for his bribe.

Count Lodol then asked Keima if he had any requests, at which point he asked again to serve him. To ‘be on good terms’ meant, in other words, to serve beneath him. Count Lodol went ahead and ordered him to continue working as town chief. He planned to make the town his own one day, and when the time came he might consider giving Keima a cushy job or something of the sort.

“Oh. Wait, there is one thing,” Keima said, finally getting to the point after all that meandering.

He wanted to talk about the inn. Count Lodol had heard that the landmark of Goren was the Dancing Doll Inn, and that the town chief put more money and work into it than anything else, so in Dragg he had put constructing inns at the highest priority. The first inn had been completed already and was receiving regular visitors. The second inn was still under construction.

“Oh, that reminds me. You are managing an inn of your own, no?”

“Yep. Thanks to your inn, we’ve been getting fewer customers as of late.”

As expected, Goren’s main source of income was suffering now. Count Lodol couldn’t help but burst into laughter after hearing Keima complain about getting fewer customers. His plan had worked brilliantly.

“Ahaha! Well, what follows is all up to your attitude. Are we on the same page?”

“Yep, and thanks. I’d like about as many customers as I used to get way back when.”

And so their cooperation was secured. Behold the power of House Lodol’s negotiation techniques. But returning to receiving as many customers as he had prior to Dragg’s inn being built was quite the demand. Count Lodol took the opportunity to add his own condition.

“In that case, I have a request for you as well.”

“Yeah?”

“We are in the middle of building a Beddhist church in Dragg, but we have no one who is familiar with Beddhism here. It’s been a struggle for us.”

So he said, but that was all a cover story. All churches were built roughly the same way, and none of it really mattered in the end. Count Lodol was certain that if he just ordered the church to be built with greater gravitas, it would appear that much more impressive to believers who would then go there instead.

“So you want me to send an experienced Beddhist over?”

“Quite. I hear that you have many, ahem, nuns in that church of yours,” Count Lodol said, indirectly saying that Keima was a crook claiming to be a pope through gathering fake nuns in a church.

“Alright. I’ll send an experienced nun over.”

“Aha! We are on the same page after all. Be sure they’re a young nun, understand?” Count Lodol said, wearing an even nastier grin than before.

“Sure. A young nun. I have one that’s pretty well-educated, so it’ll be no problem at all.”

“I see, I see! A well-educated young nun, hm!”

It turned out that they weren’t just fake nuns, but ones well educated in the lewd arts as well. Count Lodol couldn’t help but grin.

“The church will end up fine if you build it according to her specifications.”

“Very well.”

The two of them shook hands, having resolved the church issue with the nun.

As soon as Keima returned to Goren, Count Lodol went to his office and summoned his steward.

“Excuse me, my lord.”

“There you are. That was quite the agreeable fraudster,” Count Lodol said with a cackle.

“Excuse me, my lord. It seems that Keima had a real Dragon scale with him. Despite swinging the hammer with all his might, the guard couldn’t even scratch it.”

“What?!”

“I have to say that it seems the rumor of him defeating a Dragon is true.”

“...No! No, that can’t be true! In fact, now I understand why he returned to town!”

“May I ask what you mean?”

“Learn to think for yourself! But that said, I will deign to explain. The long and short of it is that he no doubt realized it was only a matter of time before his fake materials were discovered. He then went and got the real thing, or at least, something that he could pass off as the real thing! With that accomplished, he returned smugly, thinking that his lies would not be discovered yet. That explains everything.”

“Ah, yes, I see... That would explain everything. You certainly have a point there,” the steward said with a nod.

“Now then! I shall look at the bribe he gave me. He did say to check it before the end of the day.”

“Sir! I have brought it with me.” The steward set the box Keima gave them onto the table.

“Let’s see here. How much gold is inside... Hm?” Count Lodol opened the box and found something strange inside. The delicious scent of food wafted into the air and filled his nose. “What in the world...?”

“Those appear to be... Golem Beets, a famous food from Goren.”

“Food, you say?!”

“Well, thinking back, he never once said that the box contained money.”

Count Lodol checked for a double layered bottom, but there was no doubting that inside was nothing but sweets.

“That cursed fraudster tricked me! Gah, let’s see how he likes it when I accelerate the construction of the inn! Proceed with all other sabotage plans! We will do whatever we can to hurt the Dancing Doll Inn as much as possible!”

“Sir! It will be done.”

The first inn was on the cheaper side for commoners, and the second inn would be a higher class one for richer patrons. Once it was done, Count Lodol expected the few visitors still visiting the Dancing Doll Inn to come rushing his way. Good grief. If only you had given me a proper bribe, I would have delayed these efforts to some degree... Count Lodol grumbled to himself.

“That foolish fraudster doesn’t know who he is dealing with! Good grief... What was he thinking, giving me mere baked sweets?” Count Lodol complained as he grabbed one of the sweets, but its nice smell kept him from throwing it away. The truth was, Count Lodol had an irresistible fondness for sweets.

“Come here, steward. Test these for poison.”

“Sir? Mgggh!” The steward let out a muffled groan as a Golem Beet was forced into his mouth, then down his throat. “Gulp... Oh, that was quite tasty!”

“No poison, I see. Excellent. I shall have them myself.”

“Wait, my lord! It’s possible that only one of them has poison. I believe I will need to take a bite out of each to be sure!”

“Silence, fool! That was enough testing! I shall eat them!”

Count Lodol pushed aside the steward, who obviously just wanted to keep eating the beets himself, and chomped down on a Golem Beet himself.

“...Ah! These certainly are delicious.”

“They are a popular sweet in Goren, I hear.”

Count Lodol gorged himself on the rest of the Golem Beets. The steward watched them disappear enviously as he held out a cup of tea for the count.

“...I may consider forgiving him, depending on the quality of the nun he sends over,” Count Lodol said with a satisfied sigh as he drank his tea. He must have really enjoyed the Golem Beets.

“Is that so?”

“Or perhaps once I’ve stolen Goren, I will have that fraudster make these sweets for me.”

“That is a good idea, my lord.”

And so, the construction of the second inn was slowed back down. But then... the nun he sent was a loli. A child. A little girl.

“Ah, yes... How could I forget that he was a lolicon?” Count Lodol murmured before resolving to show no mercy whatsoever to Goren, and especially none to Keima’s Dancing Doll Inn.

# Keima’s Perspective

Several days had passed since I talked with Count Lodol, the town chief of Dragg. Word had spread of my return by the time I came back, and it wasn’t long before Gozou and the others returned as well. That meant that they must have gone on some detours that led to my group getting back first. Maybe I should have spent some more time chilling in the imperial capital.

When Ichika told Wozma about how our talk went down, he let out a heavy sigh, as expected. But why didn’t he ask me about it? I mean, I know Ichika will be able to give a more objective report, but still. Not that I mind having less tedious work to do.

“Town chief. Are you certain you don’t mind our inn receiving fewer customers? It will be as empty as a Goblin’s nest soon.”

“Hey, if nobody comes, that just gives me more time to sleep,” I said. Wozma was so moved by my sincerity that he rubbed his temples.

“Chief Keima, please be aware that I am exasperated, not moved.”

...I know, I know.

Incidentally, “to be as empty as a Goblin’s nest” was an idiom referring to a business slump. I’m gonna use it on Wataru the next time I see him.

Anyway, once we were done chatting I went ahead and sent Michiru over to Dragg as an experienced nun familiar with Beddhism. Kuusan (one of the town authorities, and the builder of about ninety homes in Goren) went with her as a guard and construction consultant, so it was safe to say Dragg’s church would end up pretty solid. Michiru, sounding very proud, sent back word that she was teaching the builders to read, write, and do math. Is that what they needed a Beddhist nun for? I thought, but decided not to say anything.

“A church, hm... Chief Keima. If I may be so bold as to ask, why would you give meat to a Slime?”

“It’ll be easier for me to sleep if the church next door isn’t so busy,” I explained, and Wozma agreed with my explanation so much he buried his face in his hands.

“No, I am just so exasperated I feel an actual migraine.”

...Like I said, I know that.

As a further digression, the phrase “give meat to a Slime” meant the same thing as “throwing a bone to your enemy.” Again, I would use it the next time I saw Wataru.

And so, as Count Lodol promised, the construction of a second inn was soon finished over in Dragg.

“He looked kind of like a villainous noble on the outside, but seems like he’s actually a good guy.”

“Master, my man, you’re legit the only person thinking that.”

So said Ichika, but now people would stop coming to our inn at all, and I would be able to spend my days relaxing like I had before all the Dragon business... Or so I thought.

“Keima, do you have a sec?” Rokuko asked, coming into my room while I was lazing around.

“Hm? What’s up, Rokuko?”

“The inn’s been getting kinda busy again. You don’t mind me hiring some new employees, right?” she said, and I couldn’t believe my ears.

“Hold up. Did you just say we’re getting busy?”

“I did.”

“B-But why? Dragg just built a second inn, didn’t they? By all logic we should be getting fewer customers now.”

“...Well, that’s not what happened.”

“Yeah, it must not be if we’re as busy as we were with the Dragon. This doesn’t make any sense. Why are we getting more customers?”

“I thought you’d ask that, so I went ahead and investigated why.”

“Niiice. You’ve really been on top of things lately, Rokuko.”

And so all I had to do was listen to Rokuko’s findings.

“Let me just summarize what everyone who went there said. Dragg’s second inn... just kinda sucks because it’s supposedly too high-end.”

Apparently their second inn was being marketed as high-class, with the price of each room being double ours—one silver a night, food sold separately. That might have been fine on its own, but the rooms weren’t that impressive, and it was hard to relax in them. Each was the size of about two normal rooms here, and while they were using decent furniture, the bedding itself wasn’t good. To the average person, a bed made of several blankets with a sheet covering them was certainly high-class, but they couldn’t compare to the futons our inn used. And perhaps due to not being {Purified} enough, they didn’t smell great either.

“It’s like, high-class inns are marketed to merchants with money, right? But basically, all the merchants that travel through here are Beddhists. The second they messed up the bedding, they screwed themselves.”

“Uh, what?” I asked, doubting my ears once again. “Why are so many merchants practicing Beddhism?”

“I mean, you’re the one who said Beddhists get extra fried food and purins, remember? A lot of people join just for that.”

Oh man, I forgot we were doing that... It’s been so long. And all the merchants staying in Goren would be using the Dancing Doll Inn. There weren’t any other inns nearby until recently, so yeah.

“But still, if they’re just joining for the food, why would they care so much about bedding? They shouldn’t be really pious Beddhists or anything.”

“It all started because they experienced this inn’s futons after joining Beddhism. Not really weird that they would start comparing the beds, right?”

Not to mention that merchants wealthy enough to specifically stay in high-class inns tended to have bought their own futons to use. It wasn’t hard to get one since they dropped in the [Cave of Greed] and could be bought in the local Beddhist church.

“Do you think a Beddhist on the level of using their own futon wouldn’t care about an inn’s bedding?”

“...Alright. So their standards have gone up.” We made it so that rich merchants could only be satisfied by truly high-quality bedding, not the crappy beds of this world.

“Did you know merchants that own stores are putting futons in their waiting rooms and shilling Beddhism to people?”

Oh yeah, I remember the archduke of Tsia having futons in his parlor. Must be something similar.

“Not to mention...”

“There’s still more?”

It turned out that the high-class inn was claiming that you could use as much hot water as you wanted, but...

“It’s not hard to see how we beat them.”

When they said you could use as much hot water as you wanted, they didn’t mean you could stay in the bath as long as you wanted—they meant you could ask for as many buckets of hot water as you wanted. On the other hand, we had... an onsen. One anyone could visit for free, even those with normal rooms.

There wasn’t even a comparison between the two, really. Especially since here you could draw a bucket of water from the onsen and take it back to your room.

“Looks like we really stomp them there.”

“It’s a shame for them, too. Under normal circumstances it would actually be a nice bonus to have as much hot water as you want in the mountains like this, but, well...”

We struck hot water and made a whole onsen here. Kinda makes buckets of hot water feel less impressive.

“Not to mention, also...”

“There’s still more?”

As a final blow, the food they charged extra for was pretty unremarkable, and cost a hefty price for seafood you could get at Pavella normally. The transportation fees could explain the price, but the freshness of the ingredients was hurt by the transportation, so the prevailing attitude was, why not just eat in Pavella itself?

“The menu is pretty small too, apparently.”

“...I can’t deny that we’ve got a pretty big menu here, yeah.” And it’s a bit too late to go out of our way to remove some options. “Alright, alright. I know why their inn sucks now, but what does that have to do with us getting busier? I would understand us not losing customers, but why are we getting more?”

“Apparently, rumors are going around about an inn cheaper yet better than a supposedly high-class inn.”

...Seriously? That’s ironic, too, since as far as I can tell, their second inn did everything a normal luxury inn should do. But it still just made our inn more well-known.

“What can we do here...?”

“Hire more employees, like I said. You don’t mind, right?”

“Alright. You can hire normal workers or summon new monsters, whatever works. I’ll trust your decision.”

“Okaaay, leave it to me. But it’s mainly just the cafeteria that’s busy, so part-timers will do fine.”

And so it was settled.

“By the way, Keima, I forgot to ask, but how’re your Boss Spawner experiments going?”

“...Well.”

The truth was, I hadn’t just been sleeping. I’d made a small Golem about the size of a thumb out of pure orichalcum, then registered it to a Boss Spawner. Then, I melted it down with {Create Golem}.

Five days had passed and it hadn’t regenerated yet. That was a crazy amount of time for a monster the size of a thumb, and judging from the fact that I couldn’t change the monster registered to it, there was no doubt the Boss Spawner was in the middle of regenerating it. I just wished it would display how much time was remaining. At this rate it might take longer than a Red Dragon (two weeks, according to Father). An Iron Golem the size of a thumb took five minutes to respawn, so I guess pure orichalcum really does take forever to regenerate.

“So yeah, turns out mass producing orichalcum and using it as much as we want isn’t actually in the cards for us.”

“He said we could speed it up using DP, but we don’t know how much faster it will go. Though on second thought, isn’t a thumb-sized Golem made of pure orichalcum kinda crazy? Like, wouldn’t it be super hard to beat?”

“Huh...? Wow, now that you mention it, you might be right.” Orichalcum was strong enough that even a wire thinner than a strand of hair wouldn’t bend at all. You could make legendarily strong rapiers just by attaching a handle to a wire of the stuff.

And here we had a thumb-sized Golem made of the stuff. It was speedy thanks to the pure orichalcum; it was difficult to hit with normal attacks due to being so small, and even if you did hit them it was too sturdy to destroy. Not to mention that since it didn’t have a magic stone, it didn’t even have a weak point to attack. Would magic work on it? I get the feeling orichalcum is pretty magic-resistant too...

“They’d have to beat it by hitting it and disturbing the mana or whatever, but I think you would need an orichalcum weapon to even come close to doing that,” Rokuko observed.

Oh, crap... I think the last boss of our dungeon was just born.

“So, Keima. What’s the smallest sized Golem you can make?” Rokuko asked with an evil grin.

Oh. I see what she’s thinking.

“...Rokuko, is it just me, or did you just have an incredible idea?”

“Eheheh. A speck-sized Orichalcum Golem in a huge boss room will be impossible to find, much less defeat! How’s that? Feel free to compliment me on my genius,” Rokuko said with a smug look on her face. But honestly, her idea was devilish enough that she deserved to be smug. I didn’t know if I could make a Golem literally the size of a speck of dust, but I could definitely make a ring-sized one. Hide one of those between the rocks on the ground and it’d be essentially impossible to find. Even if you did find it, good luck landing a single hit on it.

“...Yeah, I think you deserve some compliments this time. You’re incredible, Rokuko.”

“Bwuh?!”

I gave her some headpats. Her golden hair was silky smooth and nice to the touch.

“H-Hold it, Keima... Isn’t this usually when you’d ask if I was the real Rokuko or something? I-I never thought you would actually just, um, g-go and praise me like that!” Rokuko stammered, her face bright red. I kept stroking her hair as she fidgeted in place.

“But seriously, you’re amazing. You’ve really grown, Rokuko!”

“Eep, eep eep eep!”

“You’re a real mature Dungeon Core now. I’d expect nothing less from my partner. I’m proud to have you by my side.”

“Eeep! W-Well, I’m your partner, so of course! I have to be at least this good!”

“And you’re cute, too. Here, let me stroke your hair some more.”

“Kyaaah?! R-Really? I-Is it just me, or are you really teasing me?!”

“Rude. I praise you this much and you’re still unhappy? What, do you want me to use both my hands? Want me to use both my hands to pat your head? I don’t mind using both my feet if I have to.”

“I think you’re the only one who would enjoy having your head patted by feet...”

“Okay, I admit, that last part was a joke.”

Though she’s right to say I would be happy about it. Anyway, that should be enough of showering her with praise to tease her, I thought, but right when I moved to stop...

“S-So, Keima. If you want to compliment that much, um, c-could you give me a rewaaard...?”

“Huh? What kind of reward?”

“Like, um... a kiss?” she said, fidgeting with a blush, and I was hit by a wave of cuteness so hard I felt my chest squeeze painfully tight.

“W-Well, maybe later,” I said to dodge the question.

“Okay. It’s a promise,” Rokuko said with an impish smile.

Welp... Welp. Guess I should steel my resolve. For more things than one.

“A-Anyway, I’ll go hire the part-timers.”

“...Sounds good.”

Rokuko dashed out of the room.

...Oh, if people are coming because the inn is cheap, can’t we just solve everything by raising prices? The thought came to me, but doing that would require me to redo the instructions for all the Register Golems, so I gave up on the idea.

# Count Lodol’s Perspective

“But why?! What’s going on?! Why isn’t our inn getting customers?!” roared Count Lodol, striking the desk with his fist. He was visibly furious at the report his steward gave him on their second inn, the Dragon’s Nest Inn. It was a luxurious inn filled with high-quality benefits Count Lodol had thought up himself, all to land the finishing blow on the Dancing Doll Inn.

And yet the reality was that while a reasonable number of customers were visiting the cheap Dragon’s Footprint Inn, barely anyone was visiting the Dragon’s Nest Inn—and for some reason, the Dancing Doll Inn was getting more customers than it used to.

“What is the meaning of this?! The Dragon’s Nest is a high-class inn! Why is no one visiting it despite all I did to make it the perfect inn?!”

“I-I have no idea, my lord.”

“And that is why you are useless! You never understand!” Count Lodol roared again, the gears turning in his head. He wasn’t a noble in name only. He had the brains necessary to think things through and identify the sources of problems, which was one reason nobles stood above the common man.

“There is no fault with my inn... so the fault lies with theirs?”

“Speaking of which, one of our inn employees did ask customers what they knew about Goren’s inn. Apparently, they offer free hot water as well, on top of their food and bedding being not only better, but available in cheaper rooms as well. They also recently hired more workers.”

The second Count Lodol heard that, everything clicked.

“I see! I understand everything now!”

“Ooh, I would expect nothing less, my lord! What went wrong, may I ask?”

“It’s simple! They no doubt started their own high-class services to compete against our inn! And on top of that, they lowered their prices to undercut us!”

His logic was simple. If their services were the same, all that came next was picking whichever was cheaper. That was just how business worked. Count Lodol concluded that Keima’s inn had pushed itself to add new services at a reduced cost.

“But they are no doubt pushing themselves. Their resistance will not last long! We will keep running our inn the same way! I expected something like this might happen, and calculated our inn’s expenses and profits to just barely break even! Their inn on the other hand will collapse into itself before long! Bwahahaha!”

“As genius as ever, my lord!”

Due to Count Lodol’s quick wit, it was decided that the Dragon’s Nest Inn would continue operating as normal. But it wouldn’t be elegant to just wait for their competitor to collapse, or so thought Count Lodol anyway.

“Ah yes, I have an idea. I shall accelerate their collapse myself.”

“Did you divine an idea, my lord?”

“Indeed! I will send thugs and ruffians to them! After all, their inn does business with crude and lowly adventurers! They’ll never track the thugs back to me! All I have to do is pay villains in Pavella’s slums to go stay at their inn!”

Thugs going on a rampage within their inn would ruin their reputation and decrease business, with all the customers being turned away going straight to the Dragon’s Footprint Inn and the Dragon’s Nest Inn.

“Understood, my lord. I will make it happen at once.”

“Perfect. Use your best judgment here.”

This time for sure, the Dancing Doll Inn would be finished. Count Lodol couldn’t help but grin as he imagined Goren’s town chief weeping and begging for forgiveness.

# Keima’s Perspective

It was a wonderful day with nothing in particular going on. In order to deal with the increased number of customers, the inn... or rather, the cafeteria... had hired part-timers to help, and thanks to the previous flood of customers from the Dragon situation, everyone knew where to camp outside, and when the inn’s rooms filled up, the church was ready to accept more.

People adapted to the situations they were put in. Despite the inn being so busy, I had plenty of time to sleep with Niku as my dakimakura, like I was doing now.

And that was when Niku turned over in my arms to look at me.

“Master.”

“Hm? What’s up, Niku?”

“I punished five people today,” Niku said proudly, her tail wagging. I patted her head and congratulated her, which made her tail wag even faster. It was going so fast it felt like it was coming close to pulling our blanket off.

“Neat, that’s a bit more than last time.”

“Yes.”

More people meant more people complaining and causing problems. People tried to stir up trouble all the time back when the Dragon was around, and at this point it wasn’t anything to worry about. Really, it was even more peaceful now than it was back then thanks to there being more merchants. Oh, and there were some thugs too, but that wasn’t anything new.

“...More people, more problems. That’s just how it works.”

“I’m just glad I get to serve you well, Master.”

“Yep. Thanks as always, Niku.”

Man, Niku sure is strong... Even considering Golem Assistance, she’s almost abnormally strong. Nothing better than a girl that’s cute and strong, if you ask me.

“I grabbed them by the neck and threw them out.”

“Hahaha, is that so? That’s my Niku.”

“Yes, I am your Niku... Ahaha.”

I kept stroking Niku’s hair until I fell asleep, imagining myself as a pet owner giving a dog a treat.

# Count Lodol’s Perspective

“...The plan failed?”

“My lord! I did as you instructed and paid thugs in the slum to go visit their inn, but... I am told an adventurer in the inn subdued them immediately. It seems they have a guardian angel in their inn.”

The steward had been forced to acquire this information through a chain of different individuals to avoid being discovered, but the precise details of the story didn’t matter.

“Hm. I see... Hmph, I suppose a low-class inn is used to dealing with low-class customers. Hiring a guard would be simple and effective for them. It seems slum thugs will pose no threat to their operation.”

“I am told the thugs were taken to the guild at once, where they were punished with hard labor.”

“Hmph, I care not for the fates of failures. I am moving on to my next strategy. I shall take my sight off the inn and focus instead on attacking them elsewhere.”

“By which you mean...?”

“That town chief said his town’s most famous food was Golem Beets, no? We’ll halt their production. Think about how sweet they were—it’s easy to conclude they use sugar in their recipe.”

“I see. They certainly did taste of sugar, rather than honey.” The steward nodded, thinking back to how he felt that the Golem Beets would taste even better with some honey on them.

“In short, he is importing sugar from Pavella! All I have to do is stop his supply train!”

“W-Wait a moment, my lord! Does that mean you intend to set a customs house to block the passage of sugar? I cannot imagine the archduke of Pavella would ever permit that.”

“You fool! Who knows what action the Pavella house would take if I were to do that! No, I am simply going to buy all of the sugar myself! Here, in Dragg!”

“I-I see. That is possible, I suppose... I will make the arrangements at once!”

# Keima’s Perspective

While walking down the road in town, a kid wearing a hood called out to me.

“Oh! Uncle Keima, I came to play!”

“Hm? Oh, it’s you, Igni.”

Igni the Flame Dragon. If she were in her true form, the town would be kicking up a huge fuss, but right now she just looked like any cute girl. She grinned, exposing her sharp shark-like teeth that would probably hurt like a bitch if she bit you.

“...Weren’t you grounded or something?”

“It’s fine! I told Mom about this!”

Alrighty. Guess this is fine, then. Ittetsu always bends like paper when Redra steps in.

“So, you come to buy Golem Beets or something?”

“Uh-huh. Oh, Mom asked me to bring some back for her too. She wants Flame Dragon Beets! Are there any left? I wanna have some too!”

“Well, those are kind of limited.”

They were rare with only a few of them being made each day, which meant they sold out immediately. After all, it was a pain to make the super spicy paste inside of them.

“She said Dragon Beets would be fine if the rest were out!”

“Alright. Those are sold normally, so yeah. Do you have the money for it?”

“Uh-huh. Mom gave me some allowance!” Igni exclaimed. She had gotten so used to her human form that she could buy stuff without issue.

And so I went to a Golem Beet stand while chatting with Igni.

“Five Golem Beets, please. Also, got any Flame Dragon Beets left?”

“Heya, town chief. Sorry, all sold out of Flame Dragon Beets.”

“Tcccch,” Igni said, her lips pursed with annoyance. “I’ll just have some normal Dragon Beets, then! Mom wants me to bring them back!”

“Sure thing! Thanks as always, little girl,” the stand guy said while pouring dough into the various molds and baking them. The nice aroma of sweet dough being baked filled the air.

“Aaah, that’s the stuff. I love the smell of Golem Beets!” Igni said, sniffing the air. Hey, watch it. You’re growing horns.

“Are Dragon Beets still selling better?” I asked.

“Yup. But the Golem Beets are selling good too. Merchants always grab ’em since they get more for the same price.”

“I see... Huh?” I glanced beside the stand and saw an unusual number of sugar jars.

“Is it just me or do you have more sugar than normal?”

“Oh, yeah. Dyne asked me to make some sugar for him to sell. I’ll be sending it his way later.”

“Oh yeah? What’s he doing that for?”

“I dunno, but merchants coming from Pavella are begging us to sell them all the sugar we got, so we’re making as much as we can.”

Makes sense. Luckily, we’ve got developed fields and mainly subsist on our own crop. It helps that the fields are part of dungeon territory and grow crops a lot faster as a result. Not to mention the people running Golem Beet stands got a weather adjusting magic tool from Bonodore, which lets them make as many sugar beets for turning into sugar as they want.

“The ground’s not getting drained or anything?”

“It’s completely fine. Pretty sure being close to the dungeon helps, but we’re also doing that crop rotation thing that the books talked about.”

I wonder if the dungeon is refreshing the nutrients in the ground too...? Hopefully it’s not draining enough DP for it to matter to us. We probably get more DP from the farmers growing the crops anyway.

“Oh! Should we not have been selling sugar without telling you?!”

“Nah, it’s fine. Making sugar beets to sell sugar was my original plan anyway. I just never got into it since so much sugar was coming this way from Pavella. I’m letting Dyne handle it all.”

“Alright. You got it!”

Incidentally, turning the sugar beets to sugar was Kinue’s job. She was being given a tenth of the resulting sugar in compensation, if I remembered correctly. But if the sugar’s selling that well, maybe we should sell some of ours too? I thought just as Igni bit into her hot, freshly baked Golem Beet.

“Golem Beets sure are the best!”

“Nothing makes me feel better than seeing you eat the beets up, little miss. Alright, I’ll do something special and save a whole Flame Dragon Beet for you tomorrow. Think you can make it?”

“Really?! Oh... but I want one for Mom too...”

“Ngh, and you’re a good kid that cares about her mom... Alright! Two Flame Dragons! I’ll go ahead and make extra paste just for you!”

“Yay! Mom will be so happy! Thanks, mister!”

Yeah... Igni’s three hundred years old despite how she looks, but she still calls me ‘uncle’ and still calls this stand owner (an adventurer) ‘mister’... Well, I guess she calls me ‘uncle’ mainly ’cause I’m friends with her dad, but still. This is kinda complicated.

# Count Lodol’s Perspective

“...What is going on?! They’re still selling Golem Beets like always!”

Count Lodol had sent off one of his soldiers to buy Golem Beets, then to complain when there weren’t any, but... he ended up buying them just fine.

“About that, my lord... It seems that Goren is independently producing its own sugar.”

“WHAT?! Sugar...? You’re telling me sugar can be found within Goren’s dungeon?!”

“I-I do not know! But if monopolizing sugar sales is having no result, that is the only conclusion I can draw...” the steward said, bowing his head weakly. Count Lodol pounded a fist on his desk in frustration.

“Curses! Stop buying sugar! This plan is over!”

“My lord, what will you do next...?”

Count Lodol popped a whole Golem Beet into his mouth at once. That calmed him down a bit.

“The truth is, I have been conducting my own investigation... and I discovered that he is holding so-called rat races in the backside of his inn.”

“Ah, I have heard of those. I believe they have rats compete in races to see who comes in first.”

“Indeed. And they predict who will win as a form of gambling!”

“Gambling!”

“Races and gambling go hand in hand, but to think they would gamble on racing rats. I would expect nothing less from that fraudster.”

Rats. They were filthy little animals that could be found anywhere, and he was going out of his way to gather them for races. It was a filthy idea fit for a filthy man.

“I am not too familiar with the details myself, but gambles are always designed so the house wins. In other words, the rat races are the fraudster’s source of money. He will have no choice but to bow his head to me once they are destroyed.” Count Lodol grinned at the thought of Goren’s town chief begging for forgiveness over his rudeness once he was out of money.

“Brilliant, my lord! How shall they be destroyed?”

“I will hold races of my own! There is no reason he could do something that a Count such as myself could not! I will make them even larger and grander than his!”

Count Lodol wasn’t even considering the possibility of failure. Nobles were superior to commoners, on top of having more brains, money, and servants. In his mind, anything that commoners could do, nobles could do better.

“I see. I will gather rats at once!”

“Bwahaha! That fraudster will rue the day he crossed me!”

Not to mention the gambling would prove to be a huge source of income for him once it was all over. Count Lodol grinned, delighted at the thought of the mountain of gold coins waiting for him.

# Keima’s Perspective

I was eating in the cafeteria, when suddenly Kinue—who usually only ever poked her head out of the kitchen when making food—sat next to me, probably on her break.

“Master, I heard some rumors that caught my attention recently,” she said. Apparently, she wanted to talk to me about something.

“Yeah? It’s pretty rare for you to be interested in rumors. What’s up?”

“Well. It seems that Dragg has developed an enormous rat infestation.”

“A rat infestation? What’s going on there?”

“This is just my assumption, but...” Kinue said as a preface before continuing with eager, shining eyes. “I imagine that their town is incredibly filthy. By now, it is certain that their town is the dirtiest a town has ever been, with the food in disarray, scenery polluted beyond recognition, walls black with dirt, and rat feces and corpses scattered all about.”

“...Well, let’s hope no weird diseases start to spread around.”

“Exactly. That would be problematic, no? It would be. And so, I would like to ask if I may go clean their town for them,” Kinue asked, her eyes practically shining with glee. Her cleanliness-loving Silky instincts were no doubt screaming at her to go and clean to her heart’s content. But should a neighboring town count as part of our home? Oh, I guess their town is in our dungeon territory too, so yes.

It was then a merchant eating nearby joined the conversation. He was a regular and a traveling merchant.

“Ah, think you got some facts mixed up there. The truth’s a bit different.”

“Oh yeah? How so?”

“Turns out, they actually gathered the rats on purpose to hold some rat races of their own.”

Rat races were held in our inn’s recreation room. They were surprisingly popular.

“So they were storing the rats in boxes... but they bred like crazy and escaped, you see.”

“Ahhhh...”

We were holding our own rat races, but the rats we used were no ordinary rats. They were actually Gray Rats, and from the very start they were domesticated rats bred to obey orders from the dungeon. Not to mention that by giving them nicknames for the races, they became Named monsters, which gave them a boost to their intelligence. They fixed matches and hyped them all on their own. In other words, they couldn’t even be compared to wild rats.

If you just grab a bunch of wild rats and try to put them together, they won’t listen to anything you say, and they’ll breed like crazy. Wouldn’t be too hard for them to chew through wooden boxes and escape. Not to mention how annoying it would be to feed them and handle their bathroom stuff.

“...But still, that would make their town unbearably filthy now, wouldn’t it?” Kinue asked, almost desperately.

“I dunno how things look beneath the surface and inside the houses, but they’re just barely managing to keep things looking clean on the outside.”

“Hrm... I see,” Kinue said, her shoulders visibly slumping with disappointment. She would be an outsider to Dragg, and the places she could clean would be limited. Dungeon territory or not, people wouldn’t just let her into their homes to clean willy-nilly. Though if the rats were getting into the rooms of the inn, she could just stay at the inn and clean her own room... Though I don’t think Kinue would like that idea.

“Cleaning the inn is the job of the inn’s employees. I don’t want to steal the jobs of others.”

And there you had it. Kinue wanted to do what she could in her own sphere of influence, not encroach upon others.

“Guess we can make some Rat-Killing Balls and sell them. Kinue, if I get you a recipe for them, could you make them?”

“...Ah! Yes! You may count on me!”

And so, I decided to have Kinue make an item that could technically be considered related to cleaning (all one had to do was consider genocidal purging to be cleaning, and when it came to rats Kinue certainly did). Maybe if I call them balls and frame them as a food recipe, Kinue’s {Cooking} skill will work as she makes them. They’re like meatballs, except poisonous.

“Oh, rat killers, huh? I’ll buy ’em! I could sell them all day with the situation being so bad over there!” the merchant exclaimed.

“Hey, I’m gonna want some too!”

“Kinue’s own cooking... Gotta say. Feels like it’s a waste to let rats eat them.”

“Don’t eat them yourself, pal. It’s poison.”

A bunch of merchants came walking over, smelling the scent of profit. Yeah, yeah, I expected this. I’ll go ahead and add all the profits to Kinue’s wages.

# Count Lodol’s Perspective

“What a horrible failure...!”

The escaped rats had bitten into the house infrastructure, spread feces everywhere, slipped into inn beds to make nests, and did all sorts of other horrible things, but thanks to Rat-Killing Balls that traveling merchants brought in, everything came to a peaceful close.

“Goodness, we certainly were saved thanks to those Rat-Killing Balls,” the steward said.

“Indeed. I heard that the chef working in the fraudster’s inn made them. I will have to give her special accommodations when I steal Goren from him,” said Count Lodol, and that’s when he realized something funny. “To think that chef would have made poison for killing rats. Bwahaha, I can connect the dots here. I perceive that Keima’s subordinates don’t think highly of him. It won’t be long before his rat races will be put to an abrupt end by poison—we don’t need to bother with them anymore. Though the inn will be mine before then,” Count Lodol said to himself with a nod. “Ah, but what was that rumor about him being an ideal superior? Seems like the truth is not so positive for him!”

“Absolutely. It is as you say, my lord.”

Count Lodol cackled, feeling as if he had landed a solid punch on Keima’s face.

“Now then, how should I strike next...” Count Lodol said, beginning to think of his next move once the laughter faded.

“My lord. May I first say that the church has been completed?”

“Hm? The church...? Oh, yes, I completely forgot I had ordered one to be constructed.”

The disappointment of being sent a loli nun had hit Count Lodol so hard that the Beddhist church had escaped his mind completely. But construction had continued steadily, and the other day it had finally been completed.

“On second thought, I ultimately had the church built at his request. I might as well set fire to it and pretend it never existed.”

“That would be a waste of resources, I believe.”

“I cannot disagree. I suppose leaving the church around poses no problem of its own... Ah, of course! I just had an incredible idea!”

“Did you, my lord? What might it be?” the steward asked, excited. Count Lodol let out a smug laugh.

“Since I built the church for him, I will collect reward money from him!”

“Oh, reward money?”

“Or I would ask for money, but no doubt he has none to spare—which is why I will demand to have as many of his esteemed Golem Beets as I want!”

Indeed. Under the guise of a party celebrating completion of the church, he would make Keima bake a mountain of Golem Beets, and then hand them out for free to all participants.

“Does everyone include me...?”

“Of course! You may eat until your stomach bursts!”

“Why, I believe that is a brilliant idea! Your most brilliant idea yet, even!” the steward declared, more moved by his lord’s brilliance than ever.

“A fraudster like him will no doubt be humiliated to give away so many Golem Beets for free! Make it happen at once!”

“My lord!”

Count Lodol imagined Keima’s face wrenched up with frustration, then realized he probably wouldn’t be that frustrated at all, then corrected himself—Keima would definitely be frustrated, extremely so, for sure, no doubt.

# Keima’s Perspective

Word got around that Dragg’s church had finished construction. And apparently, Count Lodol sent out an order to hold a large eating competition of Golem Beets to celebrate. The good old count had really taken a liking to Golem Beets and kept sending his subordinates over to buy some. In a way, he was one of our best customers.

Though the letter he sent did say that he was low on funds due to all that rat business. He probably wanted us to give him the Golem Beets for free.

“Well, that should be fine. He did build the church for me, after all.”

And so the eating competition in Dragg’s church was set in stone. I would use the opportunity to go check out how their Beddhist church looked. I decided to bring Michiru and Suilla the head nun with me, both for hopefully obvious reasons. Once mass ended I went over to the church to tell them.

“So yeah, we’re gonna go check out the church in Dragg in a bit. Please and thank you.”

“Very well, I shall accompany you. I can hardly wait to see the Beddhist church Michiru built.”

“Eheheh, I worked hard on it! You should prepare to be shocked and awed.”

These two should be all I need to bring. Dragg is our neighbor, after all.

...Oh, and I’ll prepare new nun clothes for the day-of. Their current outfits are kinda, uh, tight on them. I probably shouldn’t let them walk around other towns wearing the skimpy outfits that Succubus mana corrupts their nun outfits into.

Soon enough it was the day of the eating competition slash our church tour. But when I brought the nuns to visit Count Lodol, he was absent. Apparently he was going on a walk to prepare his stomach for the competition.

He must really be looking forward to it, huh? I thought while heading to the church. The fact that all the passersby had their eyes drawn to Suilla in her nun outfit just went to show what a hot nun (Succubus) she really was.

Anyway, the Beddhist church was built pretty close to Dragg’s main road. There was nothing built around it, which meant it was positioned in the middle of a plaza.

“And there you have it! The Beddhist church I built myself! Amazing, huh!” Michiru declared, puffing out her nonexistent chest with pride. It was a relief to see that the outside of the church looked normal, at least.

“Yep, looks like a fine church on the outside. Not bad, Michiru.”

“Eheheh. Okay, let me show you the inside!”

Michiru guided us into the church, and inside we found desks with dividers, just like in Goren’s church. In every other way it was a normal church. Oh, and of course there was a huge holy Beddhist symbol hanging from the wall. There were bookcases too, but they were all empty. Can’t say I’m surprised. Books are expensive in this world, and it isn’t easy to protect them from drool. Maybe I’ll bring them some prepped books later.

“Whoa. Looks like a normal Beddhist church.”

“Of course! It is a Beddhist church! Geez, what did you think I was going to build?” Michiru asked, her cheeks puffed out with anger. Oh, nothing. I believed in you. I knew it would turn out well. Kuusan was with you, after all.

Michiru continued guiding us. Suilla and I just followed after her.

“So here are the rooms for the nuns, here’s the living space, and here is the bathroom,” she explained. Everything was just like a normal church here.

“These are the rooms for private prayers, and they also have everything they need for massages,” she continued. The praying rooms were more of a Beddhist thing. In terms of comfort they probably beat out the local inns.

“And here is the confession booth!” she exclaimed. Whoa! Now that’s a real church thing. I’m moved! I gotta admit, I was actually expecting Michiru to just load the church with crazy Succubus ideas, but it looks like I should’ve trusted her more.

“And here is the jail in the cellar,” she finished. Welp.

“Hold on a second. Why is there a jail in a church cellar?”

“Bwuh? I mean, this is where we torture thieves who try to steal books, remember? There’s one in our own church too,” she said. Oh yeah, there is... And I made it.

“Now, now, Michiru, you mustn’t call it a jail. It’s a repentance chamber for those who have sinned.”

“Oh, right! Teehee!”

W-Well, alright. Repentance chambers are an important part of churches... Maybe? I thought, then noticed Suilla glancing anxiously around, looking for something.

“Michiru. Do we not have any of, ahem, those? You know what I mean.”

“Of course we have them, sister!”

“Wait, what are we talking about here?” I asked.

“Simple! A field of eggplants! Sister asked me to make one, so I did!”

It was outside of the church. There was a field that, although small, was in a good sunny spot.

“I think this field will grow lots and lots of thick, hard eggplants!”

“C-Come now, Michiru! You mustn’t say such... such... l-lewd things in front of the pope!”

“Wait, really?”

Michiru tilted her head as Suilla blushed bright red. What’s so lewd about eggplants...? I don’t know, and it looks like Michiru doesn’t either.

“...Uhhh, well, I guess it’s like a family garden?”

“That’s close enough, I think! You’re not wrong or anything!”

I feel like I can guess what’s going on here, but I’m going to pretend I didn’t notice anything. Sometimes it’s best to let sleeping dogs lie. Yep.

In any case, there weren’t any (big) problems with the church, so I decided to send some of my nuns over on rotating shifts. The Succubi went out of their way to build a nice church, and it would be a shame for it to not have any priests or nuns. And I’ve been letting them stealthily do their, uh, “actual jobs” for a bit, so they should be fine here.

...I wonder if hiring part-time nuns would be in the cards? Or maybe they could raise nuns in the orphanage... Though, uh, I dunno how I’d feel about having normal townsfolk train to be nuns under Succubi. Guess I’ll have to think about this later.

“Time for the eating competition. I think we should open the church as soon as it starts, probably. Can I count on you two to take care of that?”

“Perfect. You may leave it to us, your holiness.”

“Awww! I wanted to join the eating competition too!”

“Now, now, Michiru. You mustn’t be selfish.”

Suilla obeyed my orders obediently, and despite her protests Michiru ultimately agreed as well.

“...I’ll give you a bunch of Golem Beets later to make up for it.”

“Okie dokies then!”

Not long after, preparations for the Golem Beet eating competition began. All the Golem Beet stand owners in Goren came over, and they brought Kinue along as a helper because even then they predicted there wouldn’t be enough. Kinue let out a deep sigh when she saw that the roads were spotless and didn’t need any cleaning.

“...Sigh. I see that the town has already been cleaned up,” she said.

“What, so you did want to clean after all?”

“It’s a bit of a shame, but all’s well that ends clean. I shall make do with just baking Golem Beets today, Master.”

Incidentally, on top of preparing a mountain of ingredients, we could buy more with DP when we really needed to. With Kinue’s {Chef} skill on top of that, we could deliver more Golem Beets the second they were ordered.

And so, the eating competition began just before lunch. Anyone could participate and eat as much as they wanted for thirty minutes. You would earn one point for every Golem Beet you ate in that thirty minute period, with your number of points being put up in the rankings afterwards. The person in first place at the end of the day would be the winner. Simple stuff.

“Yooo, don’t say you didn’t think I’d be here, my dudes!”

Naturally, there was no way Ichika the Food Demon wouldn’t be participating. She had wisely taken the day off ahead of time so she could partake on her own time. It helped that I had modified her maid stone mask to not cover her mouth.

“I’m gonna join in the first round, then join again at a later round. That’ll get me more food than just going at it once!”

“...I mean, you’re not wrong.”

And so, Masked Maid Number 1 (Ichika) began eating with the first round of challengers, but... she tapped out in ten minutes after finishing her fifth one. She didn’t even make it into the rankings. Not gonna lie, that caught me entirely off guard.

“What can I say, I’m not actually a big eater, my man. All I care about is getting some good grub, then chilling.”

“Y’know, that makes a lot of sense. Good thinking.”

Incidentally, when the first round ended, Count Lodol had the most points at twenty-five beets eaten. Public consensus was that it was a pretty good score.

“Bwahaha! Burp... H-How was that?! I ate a lot of ’em...!” Count Lodol declared to much applause.

“As expected, milord. You did well.”

“Ngh, h-hmph! This is nothing for a man of my talents,” he said, but as far as I could tell he seemed to be in a lot of pain.

“Hey, man,” I said, “You can go rest in the Beddhist church if you want. There’s some comfy beds there.”

“...No, I plan to participate in a future round. I just need to walk this off a bit...”

Apparently, the count was planning to return for round two just like Ichika was. He walked off with his wavering steward (who came in second place) in tow.

Future rounds involved Dragg townsfolk, passing adventurers, merchants, some people from Pavella’s slums who heard there was free food, and overall just a bunch of people who turned it into a big thing. At the end of the day, Count Lodol’s score had dropped to fifth place, and he declared that he would be participating in the final round no matter what.

Incidentally, Ichika had eaten over fifty in total, but due to her spreading it out over multiple rounds, she didn’t make it into the rankings.

And so, it was finally time for the last round. Count Lodol, a bunch of people deciding they might as well join in, and hardcore challengers viewing the last round as the true competition all took their seats.

“Hey, Uncle! I heard we get to eat as many Golem Beets as we want here!”

“Keima! I came too! GIVE ME ALL YOU GOT!”

Igni and Redra had arrived. They were the mother and daughter Dragons that lived in Tsia Mountain’s [Flame Caverns]. Though naturally, they were in human form and had magic tools on to contain their power.

...Maybe it’s actually, like, normal and good for Dragons to join Dragg festivities? Maaaybe?

“Where’d you hear about this...? Wait, oh yeah, we were marketing it to everyone. Well... Go easy?”

“Yeah! I’m gonna eat as MUCH AS I CAN!” Redra roared.

“Mooom, leave some for me, okay?!”

Incidentally, Ittetsu had been left behind to keep an eye on the dungeon. Poor guy.

I was a bit curious about how eating would work in their human forms, but suffice to say, they were chewing their way through Golem Beets bite by bite. And to be clear, by that I meant they were eating an entire Golem Beet per single bite. The other challengers could do nothing but watch in a daze as they waited for the round to end.

Ultimately, the store of beets didn’t last long, and we had to buy more ingredients with DP. Kinue pushed her {Chef} skill to its absolute limit, serving piping hot Golem Beet after Golem Beet right after finishing them, but both the Dragons were of the fire element so the heat just made them like ice cold refreshments.

Then, after thirty minutes straight of eating without any breaks...

“O-One thousand! They both hit one thousand! Altogether they ate two thousaaaand! This is an absolutely incredible resuuuult!”

“HOORAAAAAAAAAAAH!” cheered the crowd.

So yeah, it was actually hard for the counter to keep track of it all, but even so Igni and Redra each shoveled one thousand Golem Beets down their throats. The crowd couldn’t stop cheering. Everyone else did two digits at best, but these two both got four digits—nobody could believe it.

“Alright, that should do for today! Keima! Thanks for the food!” Redra declared.

“Thanks, Uncle!”

“Didn’t I ask you two to go easy...?”

...Yeah, I think at this point, it would be totally fair for me to ask Ittetsu to fork over some DP to cover that.

“Hm? Did we eat too much?! My bad! We’ll make it up to you later somehow!”

“Er, well, don’t worry about it. Congratulations on your stunning victory.”

We went straight to the award ceremony. At the time, we hadn’t had any rewards planned, but, well...

“I want a hundred Flame Dragon Beets for dessert! And some beer!”

“Me too! Uncle, you know what to do!”

Yeaaah... Figures.

“Alright, I’ll deliver them later! Just take it slow and savor the flavor, okay?!”

“Hahaha! I knew we could count on you, Keima!”

“Yaaay! I love you, Uncle! You’re my number two, behind Wataru!”

Thus the Golem Beet eating competition came to a close after a day of crazy, heated competition. The Beddhist Church saw a lot of traffic from people taking breaks, so everything went according to plan.

Also, not long after Ittetsu sent over a mountain of Salamander scales as an apology. Did these fall off you from all the stress you’re feeling? Oh, you shed them in the past?

# Count Lodol’s Perspective

“I don’t think I’ll be needing any Golem Beets for some time... Burp.”

“Truly, I did not expect challengers capable of eating a thousand Golem Beets each to appear. Burp.”

Count Lodol was very satisfied after eating Golem Beets to his heart’s content.

“Two thousand beets were eaten in total... Or I suppose around four thousand, considering the other challengers? I have to say, I’m surprised they managed to prepare that many ahead of time,” Count Lodol observed.

“Very surprising indeed, milord.”

“Quite. That fraudster might have a talent for hosting festivities, of all things,” Count Lodol said, then remembered the uncomfortable smile on Keima’s face after the winners were announced. “That expression of his was all I ever hoped to see.”

“Considering the price of Golem Beets, we can predict this competition cost him a fortune of gold coins!”

“Bwahaha. If only he had just given me an honest bribe at the start. I can only imagine what a blow this must have been to his wallet.”

Incidentally, the traffic from the competition had driven a lot of business to Dragg’s merchants. Count Lodol had damaged his enemies while bringing benefit to his allies. A solid move that killed two birds with one stone, if he did say so himself.

“I truly am a genius. Now, I suppose it is about time to finish him off.”

“Oh? I thought for certain you would just wait and see for now,” the steward said, earning a grin from Count Lodol.

“You fool! That is the idea of a third-rate plotter. It is precisely when your enemies are weak that you must pin them down and land the finishing blow! Not to mention that each successive strike will hold more power than the last!”

“So you intend to ride the inertia of this success, then! Brilliant, milord!”

To that end, Count Lodol needed to formulate a move that would land the final blow on Goren no matter what. He couldn’t miss this opportunity. Thus, he began writing letters with sheer determination.

“Oh? Two letters, milord? I suppose one is for the town chief, but the other...?”

“Indeed. According to what I’ve learned, the heir apparent of the Pavella Family, Lord Cid, is exceptionally interested in tales of the Dragon and the fraudster’s lies about eliminating it. I shall show Lord Cid the truth, that the fraudster is in fact nothing special at all. What do you think will happen then?”

“I-I haven’t a clue, milord,” the steward replied, which only widened Count Lodol’s grin.

“Bwahaha. This is not an opportunity I intend to miss. Prepare yourself, Keima Goreeen!”

“Wh-What will happen, milord?! I must know!”

“Silence! I am busy writing the letters! Think for yourself for once!”

In the end, would Count Lodol be able to make Goren his? Only time would tell.

“...Ah! By exposing his crimes, he will be removed from his position of town chief! And then I will move in to fill the power vacuum, making Goren mine! The strategy is perfect! Impressed?!”

“You just thought of that now, didn’t you, milord?! But yes, it is impressive!”

...In the end, would Count Lodol be able to make Goren his? Only time would tell.