Bonus Short Stories

Fun with Making Udon

Demon Realm cuisine was nothing if not representative of its culture. Many recipes introduced by Ishidaka the Hero had been arranged to suit their tastes, and then magically modified further to better suit their training.

“And so, today we shall make udon,” Core 50 announced.

“...Er, alright, but what’s with this shield?” Keima asked, wielding a sizable greatshield given to him by Core 50.

“This is an udon-creation tool of my own design, known as the udon dough kneading shield!”

On closer inspection, Keima discovered there was a bag of udon dough set right in the middle of the shield.

“...Okay, I’ll bite. Why is there udon dough on the shield?”

“I’m glad you asked! By blocking powerful blows, with it on the shield, you will have thoroughly kneaded dough perfect for making delicious udon when the battle is done!” Core 50 replied, puffing up his armored chest with pride. It really seemed like any direct blow from Core 50 would pulverize the dough into bits.

“Can’t you just deflect attacks with shields?”

“That would be the idea with bucklers, but greatshields are designed for taking attacks head-on. That is just common sense,” Core 50 said, swaying a chastising finger. It was true that the whole point of a greatshield was to provide complete defense, and one didn’t really use them to deflect attacks.

“Keima, this doubles as defensive training for you. You must block the attack without dodging.”

“Oof. In that case, how about you give me the Divine Pajamas if I successfully block the attack?”

“Hah! That shall remain your reward for defeating me in a duel, I say!”

And so, I was given the job of helping him make udon... in the form of defensive training with a shield.

“Now, ready the shield. Be certain to brace your legs firmly.”

Keima readied the shield as ordered, bracing his legs as if using his entire body as a post to prop it up. “Don’t hit too hard! Let’s just see how a light blow goes first!”

“Certainly. One light blow. Surely this will be enough,” Core 50 said, tossing out a visibly slow punch. It did seem to be pretty harmless. Getting hit by that would probably just push him back a little. “Light, liiight... HYAH!”

“Nguh?!”

Keima letting his guard down had been a mistake. The blow sent shockwaves that pierced the shield, and upon letting go of the shield in surprise Keima was sent flying back. The shield, having lost its user, remained behind as if stuck to Core 50’s hand.

“A-Are you well?! I accidentally used an armor-piercing technique!”

“I thought I was going to die, but I’m somehow alive. Can I rest now?”

“You are alive and have no wounds, I see! Then we can continue without issue!”

Nah, nah, that’s definitely the kind of attack that gives internal damage to organs and stuff, Keima thought while casting {Healing} on himself.

“...Would you survive if I sped up my punches? The udon dough will never get kneaded at this rate,” Core 50 mused. It seemed that exactly none of the shockwaves had gone through the udon dough, somehow.

“Okay, but do a normal punch this time, please! Just hit it normally!”

“Quite. Now, take this... HYAH!”

Keima, feeling uneasy about the attack, dodged to the side—leaving the shield behind to explode into a thousand pieces despite being made of metal... or rather, perhaps it had exploded due to being made out of metal. Either way, Keima was relieved to know his unease had been right on the money.

“Why are you running?! You will learn nothing this way!”

“I think that shattered shield explains why I would run away well enough! Didn’t you say you would just hit it normally?! You liar!”

“I-I did not lie! I merely vibrated my fist rapidly during the punch! Hrm... I suppose the shield simply wasn’t strong enough?”

“Why did you vibrate your fist?!”

“It occurred to me that doing so would knead the udon better!”

Just as Keima was about to say that blasting the udon dough away couldn’t possibly work well, the bag of udon descended after having been knocked impossibly high into the sky. Core 50 caught it with one hand.

“Very well. The udon dough survived the blast, luckily, so you may use it as a shield directly.”

“...Hold on a second. Why is that bag so durable?”

“Hm? Of course it would be durable. Wasting food must be avoided at all costs.” Thus, they used durable sandbag covers to hold udon dough. It was a special kind of leather bag made from the hides of Earth Lizards and Ground Slimes, both monsters famed for their durability.

“...Why not just go ahead and make a full set of armor out of bags like that and udon dough?”

“Oooh! Now that is a brilliant idea! Once it is ready, we shall experiment.”

Keima had just tossed out the suggestion without giving it much thought, but due to his status at the moment he couldn’t ask Core 50 to test the armor on someone else. All he could do was smile uncomfortably.

Luckily for him, the udon dough armor wasn’t completed while Keima was still on his Demon Realm trip. Whether someone else was sacrificed and permanently maimed in his stead, nobody knows.

Meanwhile at the Dining Hall

Visitors continued eating at the Dancing Doll Inn’s dining hall even while Keima was at the Demon Realm.

“Yooo, Kinue. Could I catch two D-Rank meals?”

“Certainly. And... done.”

Ichika and Kinue were left at home and working like always.

“Sigh. I really wonder what Master and the others are doing in the Demon Realm right now,” Ichika wondered aloud.

“I can’t wait to try out Demon Realm food,” Kinue replied, both of them using a break in the flow of customers to think about Keima and the others on the trip.

“To be real for a sec, I really woulda liked eating the food where it’s sold. The atmosphere’s basically part of the flavor, you feel me?”

“The atmosphere...?”

“Yuppers. The air’s got flavor too, y’know. Guess it’s hard for you to get since you’re basically the furthest thing from a traveler,” Ichika said, then sighed.

“...I could travel if I wished, to be clear. I could leave right now if I wanted.”

“Hm?”

“I am a spirit of homes—a Silky. I remain here only because I love being home,” Kinue said with a pout. Ichika blinked in surprise.

“Oh, wow, this is rare. I dunno if I’ve ever seen you pissed like this before, Kinue.”

“I am simply angry that you would suggest I couldn’t be a traveler.”

“Not really sure why that’s what would set you off, though,” Ichika replied while scratching her cheek. “I guess that means you actually do want to travel somewhere?”

“No, we Silkies do so only when we are in search of a home to inhabit. It would be best for me not to travel unless my home is destroyed or I’m expelled from here.”

“So I was right, you’re the furthest thing from a traveler. Why’d you get mad?”

“Perhaps I just wanted to see what it felt like?” Kinue replied with her usual smile. Ichika snorted. “But putting those jokes aside, I truly could travel to the Demon Realm and return in a day’s time if I wished.”

Ichika blinked in surprise again. “Whoa, a single day? That’s sure something else.”

“Oh, do you not believe me? It’s the truth. I only noticed recently, but I actually have a skill which makes that possible. Though I’d rather not use it without an order from Master.”

“Sounds neat. Gimme the deets,” Ichika said, leaning forward. Kinue smiled and answered.

“I could use my {Chef} skill to stop time and walk.”

“Oof... now that’s not something I want to think about doing.”

The logic was simple. The {Chef} skill which Kinue possessed stopped time while she was cooking. During that time she couldn’t do anything except cook, but moving around was included in cooking—though she was limited to just walking.

“Does the skill really cover distances that long?”

“It’s true that I might only be capable of moving within an area related to cooking. I haven’t experimented enough to be sure,” Kinue replied, rethinking things. “At the very least, I know time remains stopped when I visit storerooms for ingredients, but I haven’t tried going outside of the town.”

“Want to try it, then? I sure wanna eat something made with fresh fish from the Pavella sea,” Ichika said casually, earning a dissatisfied frown from Kinue.

“No. Certainly not. What if that were to force me to enter the sea itself to gather fish?”

“You could just by some from Dragg’s stores... oh, wait, you can’t really buy stuff when time’s stopped.”

“Thievery certainly is wrong. Also, I cannot use the tunnel Master made when time is stopped.”

It might have worked if the tunnel through Tsia Mountain had just been a normal hole, but there was the toll wall. It couldn’t be used while time was stopped.

“Furthermore, although time is stopped, I would physically be leaving my home for potentially several days. My instincts as a Silky will not allow me to do that without Master or Rokuko firmly asking me to do so.”

“...Makes sense. Guess I can understand that,” Ichika replied, resting her chin on her hands with an elbow on the counter. “Anyway, I wonder what kinda stuff they’re gonna bring back for us.”

“I’m quite looking forward to that myself. Though... have you never been to the Demon Realm, Ichika?”

“Nope, I’d never risk my pretty ass there. They’d kill me in no time.”

Ichika was an excellent scout, but not much of a warrior. Her only option if challenged to a duel would be to high-tail it out of there. Though that was exactly why she had wanted to use this opportunity to travel with Keima and eat the food there safely.

“Y’know, that reminds me. Seems like in Master’s world, they had, like, some kinda canned air they could bring back from trips.”

“Canned... Ah, yes, the preserved foods. I’ve seen them in the DP Catalog before. But they can air as well? That sounds fascinating.”

“I know, right? I’d kill for some canned Demon Realm air and food... It’d be like I was there myself. Oh, a customer.”

And so, Keima’s inn remained lively even while he wasn’t there, with the staff and customers always chatting about one thing or the other.

Meanwhile at the Beddhist Church

Maiodore returned to Tsia while Keima’s group was at the Demon Realm, but every three days she returned to Goren. Her excuse for visiting the town despite her fiancée being absent was to study Beddhism at the church. Bonodore the archduke firmly advised she do so, and he even asked her to borrow any high-quality books related to farming if she could.

But in reality, Maiodore was just chilling with her head resting on one of the church’s desks. Her manners were so poor that it was easy to imagine her mother Waltz throwing a fit at the sight of her. She was at least wearing commoner clothes to disguise herself, but there weren’t many children in Goren, and, in fact, enough people knew her face by now that the disguise was entirely pointless.

“I’m ever so booored.”

“Y’sure about that, Mai? Shouldn’t you be studying?” Michiru, a child working as an apprentice nun in the Beddhist church, said.

“Oh, it’s fine. I already finished studying for the day.”

“Okay! All good, then! Beddhism teaches us that we should finish our annoying work ASAP and get right to sleeping!” Michiru said, puffing out her flat chest with pride, as if happy with herself for being able to tie things into a Beddhist lesson.

“...Is it just me, or have your clothes gotten thinner again? Your nun outfits always seem to get thinner and thinner. They’re almost transparent now.”

“Mm? I mean, duh. Thinner clothes are a lot easier to move around in, so.”

Of course, Michiru was a Succubus, despite how she looked. The lewd energy that radiated from a Succubi’s body seeped into the clothes they wore daily, transforming them into something lewder over time.

“I shall tell Father to send another batch of newly-made nun outfits.”

“Um... yaaay? Thanks, Mai?” Michiru’s not-so-happy gratitude made Maiodore laugh.

That was when a visitor arrived at the church. He was a child, but he strode to Maiodore and Michiru with a confident gait.

“Getting quite slovenly there, aren’t we Lady Mai?”

“Ah, Lord Cid... Pay it no mind. This is a Beddhist church, remember. Being slovenly here is just good manners.”

It was Cid, the town chief of Dragg and the next archduke of Pavella. He too was wearing a commoner’s outfit.

“Still, aren’t you exposing yourself a bit too much?”

“Oh my, thank you for your concern, but I have a bodyguard hidden behind me to ensure my safety. Not that anyone would dare perform mischief in a Beddhist Church.” Maiodore glanced at a nearby nun, who smiled back at her.

“Ah... Yeah, that makes sense. Even the nuns at our town make a show of any criminals...”

Beddhist nuns allowed no wrongdoing within their churches. They could sense even one’s most private intentions to act selfishly, and in the blink of an eye they would be right by your side, directing an enrapturing smile your way. It was entirely as if they could predict what one intended to do simply by observing.

...And since the Beddhist nuns were in fact all Succubi, they were sensitive to the lusts of men. Keima had entrusted them with watching over the churches as nuns, and they were far surpassing his expectations there. (And since he had explicitly given permission for them to feast on book thieves, they would intentionally let people steal books just so that they could legally capture them minutes later.)

“Good grief. Where in the world did Sir Keima find such skilled nuns...? I would like him to use his connections to find me world-class subordinates as well.”

“I’m sure he would if you asked.”

“...I was just kidding. If I got any more in debt to him, I will be paying him back for my entire life.”

“Oh my, I see.”

Cid shook his head as he sat down next to Maiodore.

“So, so, what’re you doing here, Cid? Why not just go to your own town’s church?” Michiru asked, sitting down in front of Cid’s desk and making eye contact with him.

“...Now that is a good question,” Maiodore interjected. “Why go through all the effort of passing through the tunnel to visit Goren? Surely you know that both Keima and Kuro are absent at the moment?”

“Hrm? Ah, yes. I... I suppose I just wanted to visit. It’s been a bit since I’ve last seen Michiru.”

“Oooh?” Maiodore smiled, putting a hand over her mouth.

“Hey, don’t read into that! M-Michiru and I are just friends, that’s all. Right, Michiru?”

“Right! Cid and I are just friends, nothing more...! ...Wait, what? Why are you getting all sad now?”

“Erm, nothing.” Cid floundered awkwardly for a moment, and upon seeing that Michiru felt as if she had just taken a bite of something delicious.

“I get it! Thanks for coming to see me, Cid!” she smiled a blossoming smile, making Cid blush. Maiodore couldn’t help but giggle at how easy to understand he was being.

“I see, I see. I understand everything now, Lord Cid.”

“Wh-What’s that supposed to mean?!”

“Hm? Isn’t she just saying you came to see me as a friend, Cid? I-Is that wrong?”

“E-Er, no, that’s exactly right. Yeah.”

At that point Maiodore actually burst into real laughter.

Off to the side, Suilla the head nun was watching. “Hmm... That seems to be Michiru’s true feelings. Perhaps she needs more training... or perhaps honesty is her greatest weapon,” she murmured, and her whispers faded into the air without anyone ever hearing them.

Become My Master!

“’Scuse me, do you have a sec?”

“Hm...? O-Oh, it’s you! You’re the king of the rabbits, right?”

Our scene shifts to the [Rabbit Paradise], a distant dungeon. An adventurer named Rinnew who was a regular there turned after being spoken to, only to find an orange-colored rabbit. She instantly recognized him thanks to his clothes and crown.

“That’s right! I’m Mikan, the boss of this [Rabbit Paradise]! And um, there’s something I wanna talk to you about, Rinnew.”

“Really? Me?”

“Yup! I can’t say this to anyone else, so how about we go somewhere less public?”

Mikan started hopping away. Rinnew followed.

“E-Er, Mr. King, how far are we going to go?”

“Just a bit further. Don’t worry, it’ll all be okay.”

Mikan kept hopping on without worry. They passed through the grassland room and reached the part of the dungeon where enemies spawned. Rinner timidly stepped inside, passing the gate that had been set up so nobody could wander in carelessly.

A bit further on there was a small room with a door, which had a smaller door in it for rabbits to go through.

“I’m baaack,” Mikan said, entering the room through the lower door. Rinnew hesitated a bit, not sure if she should follow, which prompted Mikan to tell her to hurry on inside.

“E-Excuse meee... Whoa!”

Upon timidly opening the door, she found an enormous crowd of Soldier Rabbits, Horned Rabbits, and all sorts of other rabbit-type monsters. She instinctively reached for her weapon, but stopped since they showed no hostility. Mikan was casually taking off his crown to sit on a cushion. Not to mention, monsters or not, they were still rabbits, and they had the clean fur that all the white rabbits had. Rinnew dare not harm them.

“Feel free to sit.”

“R-Right.”

Rinnew sat on the cushion offered to her. For a second she shifted on the squishy softness, but before long it felt great and she relaxed on top of it.

“That’s called a bead cushion. Someone gave it to me as a gift. Pretty nice, huh?”

“Y-Yup. So... wh-what do you want to talk about?”

“Right, right. This is very important!” Mikan exclaimed, looking up at Rinnew while sitting.

.........

“Erm...?”

“...Listen, Rinnew. Are you pals with Ichigo?”

“Ah, um, I think so. I like her as both a fan and as a fellow adventurer.”

“Mm, I hope you two stay friends. Anyway, umm...” Mikan faltered, uncomfortable. It was clear he was trying to say something that took a lot of courage.

“C’mon, you’re like a village girl trying to ask a boy out. Aren’t you a king? Out with it.”

“Right! Y-You’re right!” Mikan gripped his foot. “I’m gonna say it!”

“Yup! Go for it!”

“...I-I’m gonna say it!”

“You’re killing me here! Just say it!”

“W-Will you becwome...!”

He bit his tongue. The Horned Rabbits groaned and poked Mikan with their horns, making fun of him for his mistake.

“Shut it! I-I’m gonna try again!” Mikan swung a paw, sending the Horned Rabbits scattering. Rinnew didn’t know rabbit language, but she could understand what they meant, thanks to the power of her rabbit love.

“Whew. Okay, now... Would you—actually, wait, sorry.” Mikan spun around. “What?! I’m busy right now! No, er, not in that way... Ngh. Whatever, you just stay on your break!”

He was speakinging to the air. Was he talking to some ghost that Rinnew couldn’t see?

“Er, um, sorry about that. Had to talk to a subordinate.”

“A subordinate, huh? Must be rough being a king,” Rinnew said with a nod.

“Uh-huh. Anyway, so, umm, ummm... Would you,” Mikan began again, at which point the door opened.

“Good work today, everyone... Oh! Rinnew! Does this mean you’re on our side now?” Ichigo asked, coming inside. What bad timing.

“I-I’m just about to ask her now! Geez!”

“Ah...! Oh, sorry for interrupting, Mikan!”

“It’s fine, it’s fine. You can rest.”

Mikan faltered again. By this point, Rinnew could obviously guess that Mikan was trying to recruit her for something or other. She could also guess that Ichigo had already been recruited.

“Hm. So you want me to join you in something, huh?”

“Well, pretty much. There’s a lot of secrecy here, but you know.”

“Alright. But y’know, my duty’s already to protect the rabbits here from enemies. Wouldn’t be too big of a difference to help in the frontlines.”

Rinnew had guessed the rest—they were at the frontline base for fighting the enemies. No doubt they had predicted where the next enemies would arise, and this room would serve as the base for holding them back. The rabbits had all been gathered here to stop the waves before everyone else had to get involved.

“Aaah... th-that’s right!”

“You can count on me! I’ll protect all of you!”

“That’s what I’m talkin’ about! Ahaha...”

Mikan covered his face with his feet, not sure what to say. The fact that he didn’t say right there that the enemies were actually their allies too, showed that he had only made it harder to recruit Rinnew as his Master, but that’s between you and me.

Teach me, Master! A Lesson on Charms

“Masteeer, how do you chaaarm?”

Now that Neruneh had solved the issue of her Succubus transforming ending quickly, I asked her to hypnotize... or rather, to charm Wataru. But she wasn’t sure how to do that.

“What do you mean, how? You just put on Kosaki and use {Charm}.”

“That’s not what I meaaan. What do you physically dooo, to get the {Charm} workiiing?”

“Physically...? I mean, you figure out what they like, tickle their fetishes, and get them to do what you want.”

“But physicallyyy, what do I dooo?”

I kinda feel like since Wataru already has a thing for Neruneh, he’ll just automatically do whatever she wants, but let’s see...

“Maybe just try striking cute poses or something?”

“A cute poooose... like thiiis?” Neruneh asked, covering her right eye with her left hand and striking an edgelord chuuni pose with her arms crossed for some reason.

“Do you really think that’s cute...?”

“It’s an explosion of cuteneeeess,” she replied, this time holding up her fists like a boxer with an oddly sharp, serious expression... or rather, maybe more of a smug expression. Is... Is this really cute...?

“Anything eeelse?”

“Er, right. Maybe some cute lines?”

“Cute liiiines... Hmm.” Neruneh crossed her arms and put a hand over her mouth in thought. After a pause, she clapped her hands. “As part of the the ancient contract, I shall allow you to become my servant familiar! How about thaaat?”

What ancient contract...? And you’ll let him be your familiar...? That’s kinda smug.

“By the waaay, since I’m already your familiaaar, Masteeer, I can’t become his familiaaar.”

“Oh... you’re a familiar? I mean, I guess the dungeon contract is something like that.” The bit about the ancient contract might not even be a lie, considering the Dark God’s involvement.

“Ooh, now that you mention iiiit, dungeons are part of an ancient contract toooo.”

“Wait. That’s not what you meant in the first place? What did you mean, then?”

“Of cooourse, I didn’t mean anythiiing. I just thought it was cuuute.”

What the hell...? I guess that even though she looks like a human, Neruneh really is a monster. Though she might just be an edgelord.

“Anything eeelse?”

“Uhhh. I would say wear cute or sexy clothes, but the Succubus transformation will take care of that, so I guess that just leaves body touching. Might be good to touch him or have him touch you.”

Succubi exuded mystery pheromones from their skin and hair. When I was Succuma a single touch would tear down the walls around a man’s heart, making even the strongest tough guy like a baby in the palm of my hand.

“The only thing is, exposing yourself too much might not be good for an innocent guy like Wataru. You may want to focus on your belly button or something.”

“My belly buttooon? But whyyy?”

“I mean, because Wataru has a belly button fetish.”

Wait. How do I know that...? Is this Succuma’s power? Nah, I must have heard that from him when we went bathing together or something. Yeah. That’s gotta be it.

“I seeee. I understand nooow.”

“Yup. So yeah, go and charm Wataru for me.”

“But waiiit, I don’t have enough experieeeence yet. I think it would help a lot if you were to {Charm} me fiiiirst.”

“.........”

Neruneh held out the Succubus ring she had been using to practice her transformation.

“Nah, I think this is something you’ve gotta learn on your o—”

“Master!” Kosaki shouted, tearfully. “Please let me possess you! I feel like I’m going to go crazy from possessing Neruneh so muuuuch! Please, just lemme get inside you and charm Neruneh!”

“Uhhhh...”

“I’ll teach her what to do in body and soul once you charm her! If you don’t do that, I’ll actually go crazy! Please, Master! Let me possess you and turn into the Charming Girl Succuma!”

Don’t say that name! I’d seal you away forever if I could!

But despite her jokes Kosaki really did seem at the end of her rope, so I ultimately agreed.

“...Alright. Just this once.”

“Yaaay! Thanks, Master! I love yooou! Kissy wissy!”

“Keep the kisses. Oh, and keep this a secret from Rokuko.”

“Ahaha, understooood. This is kind of dirty of uuus, isn’t iiit?” Neruneh grinned.

Nah, nah. I didn’t mean that in a cheating way. I just mean that Rokuko is a huge pain in the ass when she gets charmed by Succuma.

...Naturally, it went without saying that after becoming Succuma I swore them to secrecy with the power of charms.

“...By the way. What’s with all that stuff you do to Wataru all the time?”

“Aaah. Ichika taught me about sadism and stuuuuff.”

That should work on him. Really, it's probably the best for him.

She’s not even here, and yet Ichika’s still being useful... What a gal. I should splurge extra on her souvenirs.

In the end, everything went off without a hitch and the hypnosis worked fine. It was all worth it. I have no regrets. None.