Prologue

“Master, could you look over this document?”

“Sure. Thanks, Niku.”

We were in the middle of a carriage (a ridiculous one with an entire office built into it) on our way back from the Demon Realm, writing our report on the results of our trip. Said report was titled: Friendship and Social Behavior in Demon Realm Culture. I didn’t know how to write in this world’s language, so we needed to execute some unorthodox teamwork in the form of me speaking the contents of the report while Niku wrote down my words.

“Yep. This matches my notes perfectly,” I said. There were probably some misspellings and dropped letters mixed in, but something both convenient and inconvenient about my auto-translator was that it automatically converted all that into language I understood no matter what minor mistakes Niku made. “I’m sure one of Haku’s workers will fix up any typos and whatnot, so yeah. That should do it for the report. Good work, Niku.”

“Bwuh...” Niku groaned, falling onto the table in exhaustion.

Good work, my trusty loli. I thought I was free of reports after coming to this fantasy world, but I guess this is just part of doing work for the government. Though Rokuko doesn’t have to do it since she’s a “friendship ambassador” or something.

“But man, the Demon Realm sure was an intense place. I’m glad we made it out alive.”

“Hm? I thought it was comfy.”

Yeah, I guess the Laverio Empire has a bunch of battle junkies too. They’d all probably find the Demon Realm a comfy place to stay.

“Master... Um, can I ask for a reward?”

“Whoa. Rare for you to ask for something like that, Niku. Just say the word, and I’ll do anything I can.”

She must have been pretty exhausted from all the fuss. So I gave her one heck of a reward... By which I mean I stroked her like she asked. She seemed pretty happy about it, which was good enough for me.

Anyway, we submitted our report once we got back to the imperial capital and were informed we had an audience with Emperor Lionel the next day. There was nothing odd about that, since we had left on official empire business after an audience with the emperor. There was just one thing.

Why am I kneeling in front of everyone else like I’m the leader of the expedition? I spent basically the entire month as a slave, remember? Anybody?

That said, I couldn’t exactly voice my complaints. Haku was telling me to go, so I had no choice but to go. Having Rokuko take my place wasn’t an option either, and Niku was hiding at the back, so...

It was I who received the great honor of being spoken to directly by Emperor Lionel. Admittedly, the impact of it all was a bit lessened by seeing him chat with Haku so casually, but even so, he had quite the intimidating aura. I would expect nothing less from an emperor.

“Baron Goren. Your efforts on this diplomatic mission were commendable—you have my praise.”

“Thank you, sire!”

“To think we would have such a fundamental misunderstanding of Demon Realm culture despite our histories being intertwined for so long... If you would like, I can write a letter recommending that you be promoted to A-Rank in the Adventurer’s Guild.”

“I am honored, but I believe such a high status would be beyond me.”

“I see. Regardless, I will send word that you are more than ready to be promoted to A-Rank whenever the opportunity arises,” he continued. I didn’t see how that was any different from him writing a letter of recommendation, but anyway. “I shall reward you in another manner, then. What do you desire? State anything you wish. Ah, granting the town of Goren independence from Tsia is fully possible. Shall we combine it with Dragg as well?”

Wait. Hold it, hold it. That’s way more responsibility than I’d ever want. But luckily, I planned out a request ahead of time for this exact situation. It’s time to play my cards right and see what happens.

“...If I may, Your Highness, I have one humble request. I am a member of the Beddhist Church, and we are collecting pieces of the Divine Bedding. It is my understanding that the Laverio Empire has some Divine Bedding in its possession, and all I ask is that you provide some assistance to my quest.”

“Very well. But the Divine Bedding is considered treasure of the state, and I cannot give that to you. Instead, I shall permit you to rent the Divine Bedding in my empire’s possession. Those in possession of the bedding will be told to provide them to you in accordance with your needs. You and they shall determine payment when the time comes.”

What? W-Well, I guess sometimes things actually do work out. It never hurts to try, huh? His unexpectedly positive answer caught me off guard, and I could barely hold back my grin. Thank you, Rokuko. It’s thanks to your advice that I thought to do this at all.

“My empire possesses two pieces of the Divine Bedding—the Divine Mattress and the Divine Pillow. The House of Orkluv manages the mattress, while the House of Tsia possesses the pillow. I shall send word to both of them at a later time.”

“Yes, my liege! I am honored.”

“May you continue to serve the empire well.”

And so the audience came to a close.

...So I pretty much just got two pieces of the divine bedding, right? Let’s see, what’s left... the nightcap and underwear, I think? I have the other six (five excluding the alarm clock), so yeah, wow, I have most of them now. Whoa.

“Isn’t that great, Master?”

“Y-Yeah. It sure is, Niku.”

I left the audience chamber filled with a fluffy sense of satisfaction, having gotten two pieces of the Divine Bedding all at once (three if you considered the Divine Pajamas I’d gotten in the Demon Realm). My goal was just a few steps away now.

Niku and I returned to the guest room in the castle I had been given, where we were then greeted by Rokuko and Neruneh.

“Good work, you two. How was the audience, Keima?”

“Good wooork.”

“I didn’t do much. I just knelt,” Niku said first.

“...Why are you two here, anyway? Not that it matters, but...”

Rokuko had been given another room, with Neruneh serving as her maid, but, well, nobody could get mad at her for waiting in her party member’s room until they got back. As for Aidy, she was staying in a room specifically for diplomatic visitors.

“Alright, I’m just gonna say it straight. This trip to the Demon Realm just got us three entire pieces of the Divine Bedding. I-I know it sounds crazy, and I can hardly believe it myself, but there you go.”

“Really? Great. Seems like it was worth talking to Lionel ahead of time.”

Uh.

“Er, Rokuko? What did you say to the emperor?”

“Um. I mean, I just thought this would be a good opportunity, since you’re collecting the whole Divine Bedding set. So...”

“Oh, yeah, it was a big help! I’m grateful, but wow!”

“Plus, all I did was answer when he asked me what kind of reward you would want.”

Wait, wait, then whose fault is this? Who set this up...? Or wait, no. Calm down, me, calm down. Think about it—nobody’s losing anything here. Nobody’s at fault. Empire Lionel’s glad that all he needs to do is lend out the Divine Bedding to me, the managers of the Divine Bedding get paid when I borrow them, and all I need to do is pay a bit to use all of them at once, so I’m as satisfied as can be. I got a little on guard since things seemed to be going too well, but I mean, hey, sometimes things just work out in your favor, and that’s fine.

“Is something wrong, Keima?”

“Nope, not at all. You did good, Rokuko. Thanks. And... Er, well... I...”

“You?”

“Iii... luuhvvee... yooou.”

.........

I thought I would try acting like we were a married couple just like I’d said I would when we got back from the Demon Realm, but it really just felt way too out of character for me. And I had to choke it out with my voice cracking. For a second I was too embarrassed to even look at Rokuko, but I was curious about how she was reacting, so I stole a glance at her face.

“Eeee...!!!”

Wow, that’s bright red. Is this an apple I see?

“Neruneh, did you record that?”

“You beeeet. It was cute how he kinda bit his tooongue.”

“Oh yes, he’s a bundle of cuteness. I’m saving that one forever!”

Hey! I worked up all my courage to say that, and you’re gonna make fun of me for it?! You want me to cry?! I’m gonna cry!

“Ah, sorry, Keima, really. But, um, w-well, it really did make me happy. So, u-um, don’t say you won’t ever say it again, please?”

“...Ngh.”

“Here, I’ll give you a kiss to cheer you up,” Rokuko said, stepping forward and bringing her face close to mine.

E-Er, hello? There are kids (i.e. Niku) watching, y’know?

A sudden knock on the door sent me jumping away from Rokuko.

“...Gr. Things were just getting good, too,” Rokuko grumbled.

“Rokukoooo, can I come in, dear?”

It was Haku. That was definitely Haku’s voice. But this was the guest room Niku and I were staying in. In other words, to be perfectly clear, Rokuko’s room was somewhere else entirely. The fact that Haku was asking Rokuko for permission to come in meant that she knew Rokuko was in my room. She must have checked the map and seen where she was.

Thiiis isn’t good. We’re in Haku’s territory, but I totally let my guard down.

“Come on iiin,” Rokuko called out. The door clicked open and in came Haku. She had on a very bright smile.

“Oh my, Keima is here too? What a coincidence.”

“Ahahaha... I’ll just be taking my leave now.”

“Where might you be going? This is your room, remember.”

If you know that, why did you say it was a coincidence to see me here, huh?

“Incidentally, Keima, what were you doing with Rokuko just now...? Your faces seem quite red.”

“E-Er, nothing at all. I mean, I just got back, so...”

Holy shit, that’s an intense glare. I’m about ten seconds from getting my head lopped off.

I looked to Rokuko for help. She shook her head with exasperation and sighed.

“Sister. Over here.”

“Hm? What is it, Rokuko?”

“Here.”

Rokuko sat on one of the beds and gestured Haku over. Haku, drawn like a moth to a flame, sat next to Rokuko.

“Pat my head?”

“...Um.”

“Pat it, sister. Here... Mm.”

Rokuko rested her head against Haku’s bountiful chest. Haku jerked up, then reached a hand toward Rokuko’s head.

Pat pat pat pat pat.

“Aaah, Rokuko, I missed you sooo much...! I’m so glad you came home safe... I was just so, so worried. I was beside myself with worry that something would happen to you in that country of barbarians!”

“Ahaha. Don’t worry, Keima protected me.”

“...He was a slave, though?”

“He’s the one who stuck Wataru with me, so it’s all the same. And here I am, home safe and sound. That’s what matters, and all’s well that ends well. By the way... you stopped patting my head.”

“Ngh, ngggh... I-It is true that you ultimately ended up safe, but...”

“I would reaaally like you to praise Keima for all he did, sister...”

Rokuko looked up at Haku with puppy dog eyes while her head was getting patted. When did she learn to do that?!

“...Keima. You did well to bring Rokuko home safe to the empire.”

“R-Right. Yeah. I just did what anyone would do.”

Haku praised me at Rokuko’s request, wearing the most forced smile I had ever seen.

Weeell, in reality I actually did spend all my time as a slave while Rokuko went sightseeing and stuff with Aidy, but there’s no need for me to say that here. I’ll let Rokuko handle this.

“I’m really glad you recognize how hard Keima worked for me, sister.”

“Er, well, I...”

“Am I misunderstanding...?”

“Ngggh...!”

Rokuko kept up the attack, her body centimeters away from pressing directly against Haku’s.

Hold on. Seriously, where did you learn these high-level techniques, Rokuko...? The Demon Realm? Did you learn them in the Demon Realm? What have you learned while I couldn’t see you...?! Well, either way, looks like I’ll be returning to Goren alive. Thank you, Rokuko. Thank you, Rokuko. I said it twice because it’s just that important.