Extra Chapter — Keima’s Earth Cooking Class

Apparently, the inn really needed me to function.

Repairing broken furniture, commanding Golems.

Cleaning rooms and doing laundry with {Purification}.

Buying food with DP.

Oh man... The inn really is over-reliant on me. And so, I decided to train my employees so I wouldn’t have to do anything. I gathered everyone in the kitchen after closing hours.

“In conclusion, I will teach you all to cook so I don’t have to work anymore!” My goal was to, worst case scenario, teach them just enough cooking that they could function without me if I were to be unavailable for whatever reason. Rokuko could use DP to buy food as well, but for whatever reason, the food she bought tasted a lot worse than mine. I figured that had to do with knowledge and experience influencing the DP Catalog. But her [Melon Rolls] alone were as good as mine, so I found it likely that if I taught her how to cook, the quality of the food she bought would go up as well. If she ended up able to make the food herself, well, all the better.

“Keima. I’ve never cooked before in my life.”

“I can like, kinda cook? I’m def more of an eater, tho.”

“I’ll... I’ll do my best.” Yeah, Rokuko doesn’t even need to eat, and Ichika will probably just eat whatever food she makes, so... Good luck, Niku. I had a problematic team before me, each difficult in their own way. Heheheh. That just makes this more fun for me.

“So, what are we making? [Melon Rolls]?”

“Don’t be crazy. We’re definitely gonna be making everyone’s favorite [Curry Rolls], yeah?”

“...I would like to suggest that we make [Hamburgers].” The easiest thing to make out of all of those was hamburgers.

“Making rolls would be a little too hard for beginners like you three. So, this is what we’re starting off with!” I set a jar of milky white cream onto the table with a thump.

Mayonnaise.

When it comes to cooking, some good seasoning will go a long way towards improving flavors. Mayonnaise tastes great, is simple to make, and can turn a simple pile of vegetables into a fantastic salad just like that. Naturally, putting mayonnaise on something technically counts as cooking. In other words, it’s perfect for beginners learning how to cook.

“Oooh, sweet sweet mayo. A hero totally invented that stuff.”

“I think it’s pretty good. Vegetables taste a lot different with it.”

“Mayonnaise isn’t bad on hamburgers, either.”

My students were all fond of it as well. The fact she instantly thought about how well it’d go with hamburgers shows that Niku might just have what it takes to make an excellent cook.

“Alright, I’ll start off by showing you how to make it.” I took out all the ingredients necessary to make mayonnaise. Eggs, salt, vinegar, and oil. I then looked over the recipe I bought with DP.

First, I needed to mix the egg yolk with the vinegar and salt. Apparently, vinegar could be replaced with lemon juice or something else like that. Then, while mixing all those ingredients together, I needed to slowly add in the oil. The ingredients would eventually melt into a soft cream. Add more vinegar to that, mix a bit longer, and that was that. Mayonnaise.

“Hey, what about the egg whites?”

“The recipe says just the yolk.”

“I wonder what would happen if we used the egg whites instead. Let’s try it out!”

“Stop, Rokuko! Beginners have to follow the recipe religiously! This is an iron law!”

“Egg whites and hamburgers... hmmm?”

“Niku! Enough with the hamburgers, please!”

We haven’t even started yet and shit’s already hitting the fan.

“Alright, I think I’m gonna start by separating the yolk from the egg white.” I cracked the egg shell on the rim of the bowl and separated the two halves while being careful not to let their contents spill out. Next came separating the whites and yolk. I poured the egg whites into the empty half of the shell, and once only the yolk was left in the other one, I poured it into the bowl.

“And that’s how it’s done. Give it a try.”

“Ummm, like this?” Rokuko slammed her egg against the rim of the bowl, shattering it. Yeaaaaah... Guess I should have started by showing them how to crack eggs first. I’ll just let her try again. If she destroys like, five eggs, I’ll step in.

“Rokuko, girl, you gotta be a lot more gentle. Like this, just give’m a nice little tap.” Ichika deftly cracked the egg and separated the yolk from the egg whites. Her experience quickly made her into my shining beacon of hope.

“Hyaah, hyaah!” Niku was somehow managing, in her own weird little way.

“...Rokuko, let’s not make this any worse. You should stop wasting eggs and just let Ichika take care of this for you.”

“Ngggh! I can’t help it! This is my first time doing this!”

“Yeah, I know. It’s not your fault. It’s your first time.” I decided to just move onto the next step.

“Alright. Now we mix the yolks, salt, and vinegar... Rokuko, let me just make this clear. Work with Ichika! Follow her lead!”

“F-Fine. Let’s do this, Ichika!”

“You got it. Leave everything to me!”

“I’ll help.”

After the ingredients got decently mixed together, we needed to add oil. First, one cup. After that, just slowly add it in. Rokuko managed to mix the ingredients together without messing anything up thanks to Ichika’s help. Apparently, if mixed improperly, the ingredients would separate without hardening at all and instead turn into something like dressing. I’m glad things went well.

Then we added extra vinegar, stirred it some more, and once everything looked good we were done. Well... Putting aside the egg cracking, the whole recipe was basically just a bunch of tedious mixing. I wish I had a hand mixer.

“...Hey, Keima. Couldn’t we just make Golems do this?” Rokuko just went and said it. Yeah, yeah. We should’ve just left this to Golems. Or at least, I should’ve made some hand mixer Golems for us.

“...We’ll do that next time. This time was all about, uh, experience. Yeah, experience.”

“Experience is totes important.”

“Agreed.”

Ichika and Niku were both totally fine. Maybe because they’re actually physically fit.

“...Actually, isn’t this exactly what the Wearable Golem’s assist is for?”

“I was thinking the same thing.”

Th-These two... are good! But anyway, we worked hard and have been rewarded with mayonnaise. Let’s go ahead and eat some. I cooked the leftover egg whites in a frying pan, then added cucumbers and tomatoes. Plus some sweet potatoes.

“Hey, Master, my dude. Didn’t we use raw eggs for this mayo? Should we really be eating it like this? It’s not gonna kill our stomachs, right?”

“Nope. Don’t worry, all the eggs I buy with DP are totally safe. We’ll be fine.” We did need to keep that kind of thing in mind, though, thanks to salmonella and whatnot. Maybe {Purification} can kill bacteria like that.

“Ahaha, it is mayonnaise I made myself, it’ll definitely be fine! Now, Keima, eat this and cry tears of joy!” Rokuko stuck a cucumber into the mayonnaise and held it out for me to eat. Just like that.

“No thanks, I’ll get my own.”

“Come on, let me feed you. Come ooon.” She thrust it further towards my face. Any further and I’d get mayo on my nose. Having no other choice, I took a bite. It tasted like normal mayo.

“So? It’s delicious, isn’t it? Of course it is. I made it myself.”

“Yeah, it’s pretty much normal mayonnaise.”

“What do you mean, normal?! Give it the praise it deserves!” Please. A beginner following a recipe won’t end up making miracle food. Normal is fine. Actually, it’s great. Abnormal food doesn’t tend to be good.

“Nmm... It’s delicious.”

“Hell yeah, mayo. But y’know, Master, I’m surprised you’re eating it with vegetables like anyone else. I totally thought you were gonna smear it on my feet and ask to lick it up.” Woah, hold up. What kinda guy do you think I am? I wouldn’t do that. Though I really want to. Sounds amazing, honestly.

“Anyway. It looks like the inn’s mayonnaise stores will be just fine without me now.” Just the mayonnaise, though. This is the first step of a long journey towards my freedom. It may be a small step for me, but I’m certain it’s a huge leap for the inn. Definitely.

“By the way, won’t you still need to buy the ingredients yourself, Keima? I don’t know which eggs are safe or anything like that.”

“...Ah!” Cooking class is over! We... We didn’t waste our time, I’m sure of it! This experience was valuable! Somehow!