Chapter 2

Day 142

“Let’s raise some money.”

“What’s with you all of a sudden, Keima? We’re already getting tons of money from the inn and the tunnel.”

“By money, I mainly meant DP. I really need to pay back all the DP I’ve borrowed from you.” I still hadn’t paid back the DP I borrowed from Rokuko during the [Flame Caverns] Dungeon Battle. In fact, I had borrowed a lot more when hastily adding new floors to the tunnel after finding myself unable to make changes to it.

“You don’t need to worry about that. The gold you lent me in return is more than enough, and we’re soulbound partners anyway.”

“I mean, I wanna pay you back and keep things even between us because you’re my partner and I care about you. I don’t want things to get weird or anything.”

“...Well, if that’s what you want, okay. Fufufu, it’s totally fine with me, partner! I get it, you just care about me so much you can’t help yourself!” Rokuko was looking really happy for some reason. She must be happy to finally have a partner after years of being all on her own. She brought up the menu and checked our DP.

“Ummm, you’ve borrowed about 53,000 DP from me so far. And you’ve lent me 53 gold coins in return. How much DP do we have, minus my own?”

“Since we just summoned those monster girls... about 9,000.”

I was lending her 53 gold coins, which could be converted into exactly 53,000 DP and pay off the debt at once. The problem was, it’d take 530,000 DP to buy those 53 gold coins back. That unbalanced exchange rate meant it was best for us to keep our debts in DP and golds without converting them. It’d be faster for me to pay off the debt by focusing on earning the DP itself.

“Since you could just sell the gold coins to pay the debt, why don’t you just keep working the inn like you are? You’ll be able to earn it all back eventually. Especially since you’re about to sell all that sugar.”

“That’s not a bad idea, but it’d still kind of bother me. And I can’t sleep well when something’s bothering me.” Thankfully, I have a plan for earning that DP back. Do you remember those sugar beet fields I planted? Well, I finally harvested them a few days ago and would soon be turning them into sugar. I know they grew way faster than normal sugar beets do, but don’t think about that too hard.

“Sugar is pretty valuable... and thus, it should be worth tons of DP!”

“Oh, but didn’t you buy those seeds with DP? Won’t they be worth, like, nothing?”

“Golds bought with DP are still worth a lot of DP, so it should work. Not sure how much these beets will be worth, though.” I tried converting a matured sugar beet into DP directly, before turning it into sugar. It was worth... 15 DP.

“Oh, it’s more! It’s worth more than I paid for!”

“Wooow. You bought 10 seeds each worth 10 DP, right?” Turning a seed back to DP would only have been worth 1 DP, so suffice to say, I had found a way to get a good return on DP investment. Now all I had to do was turn them into sugar and see how much more DP that was worth.

.........

Wait, how do I turn them into sugar?

＊ ＊ ＊

After much experimentation and suffering, I managed to turn a beet into a sort of brown, clumpy sugar. Two noble beets were lost before Rokuko pointed out we could just buy a recipe with DP and save ourselves the trouble. Thankfully, it only cost 20 DP. Never would I have guessed that you chop the beets into tiny pieces, let them sit in hot water, and then boil the water away to leave the sugar behind. I thought for sure sugar would just come out if you burned or crushed them, or something.

“You seem to have had quite the struggle here without me.”

“Yep. Thanks for helping out, ma’am.” Since it technically had to do with cooking, I was having Kinue help out. She was really doing some good work. Things would’ve been going a lot less smoothly without her help.

“Hey, Keima... Why are you calling Kinue ma’am?”

“I dunno, I feel like I have to somehow. She’s kind of like everybody’s mom, y’know?” Her calm atmosphere and love of cooking made her feel like a dedicated married woman. So much so that I sometimes hallucinated seeing a wedding ring on her finger.

“Alright, time to see how much DP the sugar is worth. It’s all still brown, though. I wonder how you make sugar white.” Unfortunately, the only thing written on the recipe was how to make sugar, not turn it white. Anyway, I tried turning one beet’s worth of sugar into DP.

...30 DP! Ooooh man, that’s a three times return on investment!

“The recipe’s already paid for itself. I can let the Golems take care of the rest here... Kinue, give’m the instructions they need.”

“As you wish, Master.”

From now on, each field of beets would produce three times as much DP as I spent on them. That should be good enough. I could try selling the sugars to traders and seeing if the profits could be converted into even more DP. But for now, I could turn 10,000 DP into 30,000 DP. Maybe I should expand the sugar beet farms? Actually, should I just make the fields inside of the dungeon? Heheheh, Dungeon Agriculture... has a nice ring to it. This might just end up with our dungeon being a massive farm where nothing happens, but that could be good for my sleep.

“It’s nice that we’re earning DP, but how many days does it take for the beets to grow anyway? Sure, it’s three times as much as you spend, but if that means ten beets are worth 300 DP, isn’t it way more efficient to just stick a party of human adventurers in a Magic Blade test room for a whole day?” Huh... Y’know, that royal party that got stuck in the room the other day is earning us over 500 DP a day. They’d normally only earn us 90 DP all together, but since they’re locked in a jail (x3 DP) with the room’s exit shut (2x DP), they’re earning us six times as much DP as they would just walking around. Plus, one of them has {Storage}, so they won’t go hungry for a while.

“Maybe you should just think of some other way?”

“Well, uh... Well... Yeah, I guess...” Crap, and I thought it was the perfect plan...

And so, I switched gears and decided to sell more Golem statues to Ittetsu instead. I first made an iron Dragon statue using the techniques I had developed attempting to make a Dragon Golem. Once I finished, I covered it with a gold coating made from a single gold coin. All in all it was something that took me about three days to make, with an extra five hours of minor improvements.

He ate it up.

I called Ittetsu over and told him I found the statue in Tsia Mountain and said it’d make a good gift for Redra. He saw it, thought Redra would love it, and bought it for the first price I gave. Even though the first number I gave was 100,000 DP, all he said was Sounds fuckin’ reasonable to me! and laughed while forking it all over.

...Hey, I didn’t trick him. I told him it wasn’t made entirely of gold before he bought it.

100,000 DP. Compared to the price of some 5 DP food roll sets, he had just paid ten million yen at the drop of a hat. How much freakin’ money does he earn every day?

In any case, I paid my debt back. It all happened so suddenly I didn’t know what to think. Why did I waste my time on the beets?!

“Well, it took you three whole days to make the statue. Is it really that big of a deal?”

“I mean, yeah... 100,000 DP in three days? It took how many days of hard farm work to scrape out 300 DP...?”

“I guess you’re just not built for farming.” Yeah, you’re right. I’m a Dungeon Master, not a Farming Master. Agriculture is just a bonus, a side thing. But I’ll still have Golems farm fresh fruits and vegetables for us. And there won’t be any harm in selling the beets’ sugar to traders. May as well.

...I-I’m not just a sore loser! The beets may earn next to nothing, but even a molehill can become a mighty mountain if enough moles work together! There’s no shame in having two jobs, it all adds up!

Day 143

Haku came to visit the day after I was hit with the brutal reality of my poor farming skills. Does this woman just have nothing to do all day? Or so I thought, but she called both Rokuko and me to her room to talk about some serious business. We went with a complimentary Cream Soda, and once we got there, she dropped an absolute bomb on us.

“A Hero is coming.” A Hero. In this world, Heroes were Soldiers of God summoned from other worlds. They had cheat skills and the Adventurer’s Guild gave them an automatic S-Rank. Their main job was conquering Dungeons, as destroying Dungeon Cores brought them great rewards. Some guy claiming to be a god basically wanted me to do the same thing, but I don’t count because I became a Dungeon Master.

“Woah, a Hero...? Seriously?”

“I wouldn’t lie about this. Though I do understand how you feel.”

“Wait. Sister, a Hero is coming? Not one of the Soldiers of God you always talk about?”

“My my. Aren’t you clever, Rokuko? Indeed, a Hero. I’ve already brainwashed him into a loyal servant, so you have nothing to fear.” Whew, that’s a relief. I’m not sure what she means by him being a loyal servant, but at least he’s not out for her blood. I’m pretty sure she mentioned brainwashing him. I’m not going to think about that.

“Some fools in my Empire held an unauthorized Hero summoning ritual. They were a minor noble house, and thanks to them my plans to visit Rokuko got all messed up. I confiscated their wealth and executed the head of their house.” Uh, you executed them and confiscated their wealth because of the Hero summoning ritual, not because they got in the way of you visiting Rokuko, right?

“Wait, is it really that easy to summon Heroes?”

“That is a reasonable question, Keima. Under normal circumstances, no, no it is not. In terms you might understand... the materials to hold such a ritual would normally cost about one hundred billion DP. But there is a certain, special item that circumvents all that.” Apparently, some item called a [God’s Tear] could reduce the cost of a Hero summoning ritual to basically nothing. The item itself was worth basically nothing, but you could use it to have God pay for the cost of summoning a hero, or something. Essentially, it was a “Free Hero Ticket.”

“Why did the nobles summon a Hero?”

“They wanted fame and honor, I suppose. Their land borders Demon King territory, so I imagine that he intended to throw the Hero at them and hope he killed a Demon King for them.” Demon King. Oh boy, here comes the biggest fantasy cliché in the world. I figured there would be Demon Kings since Heroes are a thing, but dang. They really do exist.

“By the way, Demon Kings are actually Dungeon Cores. They can be women, too.” Wow. Thanks for the huge spoilers. Demon Kings are just Dungeon Cores? She said something about that a long time ago, but I didn’t think it was true. Wait, doesn’t that mean a Demon King’s already been killed?

“Ah, you must be referring to Number 66. Their dungeon was named the [Demon King’s Castle]. It was a castle-shaped dungeon, though not all Demon Kings have dungeons like that.”

“Not all Demon Kings? You mean there are more?” I guess it makes sense that in a world with tons of Heroes, there’s also tons of Demon Kings.

“The Great Demon King, also known as Dungeon Core Number 6, rules over many other Demon Kings. I believe most refer to them as the Demon King Faction.” The Great Demon King, huh? Wow. And there are factions of Dungeon Cores? I guess that means we’re a part of the Haku Faction. She’s giving us tons of DP, so I don’t really mind that.

“Well, putting that aside. As I said, a Soldier of God... rather, a Hero was summoned.”

“That past tense kinda makes me curious. When did he get summoned?”

“I’m glad you’re quick on the uptake. He was summoned about three years ago, and they claimed to have trained him ever since. Thankfully, they did raise him according to my Hero Training Manual... but at that point I wish they would have just properly reported his existence. I wouldn’t have had to punish them, then. Their plans were to report him after receiving the honor of having summoned a Hero that defeated a Demon King, and well, that’s treason. They were led by a much more proper man two generations ago. Why must humans change so drastically every generation?” Haku sighed to herself. I’m not wondering how old Haku is. I’m not worried that she’d kill me if I thought about her age.

By the way, Haku’s Hero Training Manual was a very convenient (for Haku) book that taught Heroes which dungeons were okay to destroy, and which dungeons were not okay to destroy. Dungeons managed by the Guild like our old [Ordinary Cave] and our current [Cave of Greed] were, of course, dungeons that were not okay to destroy. Needless to say, Haku’s [Ivory Labyrinth] was included, given that it was the literal foundation of the Empire.

“So, that Hero heard about the playing cards and such produced by your Dungeon. He immediately started wondering if it had something to do with the world he came from. In other words, he fell for your plot to lure Heroes out hook, line, and sinker.”

“...Alright. I get it now.” Yeah, makes sense. A Hero summoned to this world would definitely find a dungeon filled with Earth loot pretty suspicious. Uh... Haku seems to think that was some genius plan I hatched to lure in Heroes, but really, I didn’t intend for this at all. It was just a mistake. I’m sorry...! Hiding my inner panic, I grinned and passed it all off as something I had indeed planned for.

“In any case, I don’t know for what purpose you would attempt to draw a Hero out, but do remember that this Wataru Nishimi is my servant. Hide the truth in accordance to what’s written in Intro to Dungeonology and do return him alive, if you would.” Intro to Dungeonology was a book for humans Haku had written to teach them about dungeons. Naturally, it was filled with lies and half-truths that benefited dungeons. The best example of that was the Safe Zone. The book claimed that no monsters could enter certain special light-filled rooms, but in truth, that was all an act on the dungeon’s part to make adventurers let their guards down.

“I understand completely. Don’t worry, I won’t kill him.”

“Fufu, I appreciate men who know how to strike a deal. Here, state anything you want. I’ll see what I can do.” Okay, here’s a nice garter belt and some socks. Please wear them, thank you. Eh... Yeah, I really want to say that, but I probably shouldn’t.

Hey, Rokuko, why are you glaring at me? I’m not gonna say it. I’m not.

“I would like some DP, then. I’ll need to modify the dungeon a little to capture the Hero alive.”

“Then as thanks for accepting my request, I will preemptively reward you with 200,000 DP.” Haku was a terrifying person that would casually hand out more DP than we currently made in a year. She wasn’t actually a person, but you get the point.

Not to mention, she also gave Rokuko a tip and paid for her inn room. Haku’s generosity had no bottom, much like her dungeon. Because her dungeon was so massive.

Day 144

Haku returned to the capital after enjoying a full night’s stay at our Dancing Doll Inn.

So... It was nice that she gave us 200,000 DP, but I had no idea what to do with it. Also, just gonna throw this out there, she transferred the DP to Rokuko through a kiss since “this is so much DP, we really don’t want any to leak out and be wasted.” I’m glad you’re enjoying yourself, Haku.

I thought it might be fun to summon a slime and raise it or something, so I checked the DP catalog. Which thereby forces me to address a topic which has heretofore been the massive elephant in the room: There were two different kinds of slime monsters in this world.

First, Jellies. They were weak in every way imaginable. They were squishy, jiggled when they walked, were mostly transparent, and died nigh instantly. Of course, they had next to no attack power either. The only positive thing about them was their abnormally low cost of one jelly per 1 DP. That, and the fact they could be eaten. I wonder if I could turn these Jellies into actual gelatin or something. They were the lowest of the low. Even Goblins got extermination quests, but pretty much everyone ignored Jellies.

The other kind were Slimes. They had squuuuishy and stiiiicky bodies that could deform so easily that physical blows barely hurt them. They cost 10,000 DP each. Each was especially weak to a certain element, but they were omnivores that could eat basically anything. Including humans, of course. These were the monsters people would think of if you brought up slimes. There were Magma Slimes in the [Flame Caverns] beside us, for example. Those were definitely weak to water.

Oh yeah, and speaking of which, I had already set up Jelly Spawners to serve as food for Goblins.

For no reason in particular, I called a Jelly over. I then squeezed it. Oooh... Yep, it’s just as squishy as I expected. Squish squish.

Suddenly, a flash of inspiration struck me from nowhere. I got onto the ground and rested my head on the Jelly like a pillow. Ohoooh, this is perfect. Nice and squishy. It’s not as good as my heavenly pillow, but it’s not half bad. And it only costs one DP... fwaaah...

＊ ＊ ＊

I woke up from my afternoon nap to find that I had fatally crushed the Jelly, with its death juices covering my face. The weight of my head must have been squeezing its inner body juices out. Now that’s a problem I’m gonna have to fix. Maybe I could cover it with a layer of plastic or something. Though, uh, the Jelly would still end up getting crushed that way. Oh well. The road to a good night’s sleep is paved with the corpses of a thousand Jellies.

...Oh man. Now I’m really like one of those Dungeon Masters that use their monsters like disposable tools. Anyway, maybe I’ll try out Jellies of different colors next, like Red Jellies or something. They’re apparently a stronger kind of Jelly, but they’re still super cheap at 2 DP for one and 200 DP for a spawner. I’m sure the Goblins would love to have more than one kind of food, too. Though I don’t know if they taste any different. I wiped off my wet face with a towel and placed spawners for Red Jellies (Fire), Yellow Jellies (Earth), Blue Jellies (Water), and some others. Rokuko walked in right as I was finishing up.

“Hey, Keima. Shouldn’t we be planning for the Hero?”

“Mehhh, honestly, we don’t really need to.”

“Eh?! Really?! Haku gave you 200,000 DP and you aren’t even going to use any of it?!” Yeah, I mean, I already have a plan to deal with the Hero and I honestly don’t think we’ll really need to do much. Even if he got all the way through our dungeon, all we’d lose is some of our homemade Golem Blades after he beat the Iron Haniwa Golem. Thanks to Haku’s teachings (brainwashing), we didn’t need to worry about him destroying the Core. Not to mention that the Core inside the dungeon was just a Dummy Core, with the real one being inside Rokuko’s room. Though I was starting to think that leaving it in her room was actually not exactly the safest thing in the world. No invader could sneak up on us, but still. Hm... Since we can use the Castling function at any time, I think I’ll put the Core back inside the dungeon and only swap it out once the Hero gets close or something.

Anyway, it was important that we didn’t take things too far and end up drawing too much attention to ourselves. Now would be a good opportunity to lean back and see just how strong Heroes really were. The only preparations we really needed to make were building a backup Iron Haniwa Golem and some Magic Blades. Basically, I was pretty relaxed.

“But yeah, it’d be a waste to just sit on this 200,000 DP. I’ll strengthen the dungeon a little. Specifically, now seems like a good time to build a new area.”

“Okay. What kind of area?”

“I’ve got two ideas. A coliseum area and a grasslands area.” I would put the coliseum area right before the Boss Room, and I would make it so you could reach the grasslands area through the storeroom area. If you went through the coliseum, you’d reach the boss fight; if you went through the grasslands, you’d hit a dead end.

Also, the grasslands area would have the Terrain Modifiers [Sky (50,000 DP)] and [Grasslands (500 DP)]. Haku told me about them when we were discussing human farms. I was pretty sure that Terrain Modifiers weren’t in the Catalog until Haku brought them up, so I imagine they had some requirement for showing up that we skipped.

Terrain Modifiers worked on the entire floor they were placed on; for instance, the [Sky] would simulate a working sun all the way down to the hot sunlight. There were even nights and rainy days too, making it a real [Sky].

Other modifiers existed too, like the [Beach] and [Volcano] modifiers. The [Volcano] modifier was a super cheap 100 DP, but the [Beach] modifier cost over 100,000 DP. I figured it was more expensive because oceans existing inside of a volcano just wasn’t natural.

You could use DP to shape the ground and make a miniature world within your dungeon. Apparently these modifiers originally existed to help monsters live as comfortable a life as possible, but according to Haku, they could also be used to help lessen the stress of humans living in human farms, which led to them living longer.

Though even with a [Sky] in place, it only worked on the ceilings of rooms in the floor without being any wider or taller. Therefore, it was best to use it with a large room on the floor. I’ll, uh, keep it small enough that they don’t try building a village inside of it. Having a sky just near the entrance should be good enough. Really, I had mainly decided to include the grasslands area because I wanted to see what the heck a fake [Sky] constrained to the ceiling of a room would look like.

“I’m also gonna put a Safe Zone in the grasslands area. It’ll basically be like a break zone, a place for adventurers to relax and get some rest... Hm... Maybe I should spawn some rabbits around here, too.”

“You sure are nice to the adventurers.”

“Yep. ’Cause this is gonna be a place that does what Safe Zones are actually supposed to do.” That being, encourage adventurers to relax such that they’re more susceptible to surprise attacks that wipe them all out. Safe Zones aren’t actual safe zones at all. Of course, this one will normally be a safe place to camp out without any monsters. A trap sprung constantly would get caught in no time. Traps only work when they’re rarely sprung.

“So like, adventurers will stop here to rest before the boss, and then bam! We get’m when their guard is down!”

“Yep, that’s the idea.”

And so, I got to work really overhauling the dungeon. But first came Golems digging out space for the new floors, so it’d be a while until everything was ready. Plus, I had to keep an eye on the map to make sure we didn’t run into the [Flame Caverns]. Thankfully, though, I didn’t need to worry about anyone noticing these changes since nobody had gotten past the puzzle area. At most, they’d notice the new colored Jellies.

Day 145

The day after I placed those colored Jelly spawners, the Guild receptionist came to see me.

“Keima. I have some news for you. Although you may have already heard of this, the dungeon is showing signs of a Paradigm Shift. I request that you either avoid entering the dungeon or otherwise stay on the first floor.”

“Aaah... Th-Thanks for the heads up.” Right, Paradigm Shiiiifts... People think that new monsters showing up is a sign of a Paradigm Shift. I don’t have any plans for holding a Dungeon Battle, so... dang. I forgot.

By the way, they were apparently going to place a defensive line by the entrance in case monsters came rushing out. I was on call to join the line at some point. It was basically in the form of a personal Guild quest, but one I couldn’t really refuse. I dunno how to say this, but... uh, I’m sorry everyone.

“Wow, Keima, you don’t usually make big mistakes like this. Did you not get enough sleep?”

“Maybe not...”

Maybe not indeed. The scale of the dungeon was getting so big that I was having trouble keeping up. It was impossible not to forget things. This calls for some more subordinates I can delegate important things to. Pretty much all physical labor can be handled with an infinite stream of Golems, but I really need some more intelligent underlings I can trust more administrative functions to. Guess I should summon more monsters specifically for that purpose.

Unlike the three monster girls, they didn’t have to be human-shaped since they’d only ever appear in the dungeon. Maybe an Arachne, a half-spider half-woman...? Ah, looks like basically any monster both mentally and physically strong costs 100,000 DP. That kinda gives me a little pause. I could buy two with all the DP Haku gave me, but...

“Come on. Get a grip, Keima. You’re the real heart and soul of this dungeon now. Everyone’s counting on you.”

“Yeah, I’ll be more careful. I didn’t talk to anyone about the colored Jellies first so I can’t blame you for not noticing, but seriously, don’t hesitate to tell me when I’m making a mistake. I mess stuff up and forget things like anyone else.”

“Ahaha, you? Making a mistake? What kind of joke is that, Keima?”

“I’m not joking. If you forget that I’m a Dungeon Master summoned from another world, I’m basically a normal human without any cheat skills, y’know?” Rokuko sighed and looked off into the distance.

“Weeell, yeah. I knew that. I’ve known it the whole time, and I’m okay with that. I wasn’t totally serious when I said it, but I honestly was okay with leaving the dungeon to you after you got rid of those bandits.” Wait, what? When did I become a hard worker and Rokuko a lazy slacker? This is just messed up.

“But recently I’ve been practicing moving Golems around a lot!” Oh, wait, she hasn’t just been slacking. She’s been practicing and stuff, nice.

...But really, I didn’t know she trusted me that much. I think I’ve spent most of my time just sleeping and lazing around. I’ve gotta start asking Rokuko what she’s thinking more often.

“I’ll try expanding the dungeon with my own ideas, too. So for right now, just look forward to what I’m going to build!”

“Yeah. I’ll leave that whole area to you, so go ahead and fill our dungeon with as many Goblins as you want.”

“I seriously don’t like Goblins that much, okay?!”

“...Yeah, I know. I know that, Rokuko. Just follow your heart.”

“It sure sounds like you don’t believe me at all!”

Well, either way, it’s all yours. I’ll just focus on my Guild work as an adventurer for now... I know this is all my fault, but man, working sure does suck.

Day 148

I was guarding the dungeon’s entrance against a Paradigm Shift that wasn’t ever gonna come. It sucked and was totally pointless. That said, the only people who knew that were those involved with the dungeon. The Guild had done their due diligence and ordered a barricade built around the entrance and sent out mandatory quests involving guarding the front door and investigating any changes within the dungeon. Although only a few adventurers were actively guarding the barricade at any time, a large number of fairly skilled adventurers were gathered in the inn just in case they were needed. The result? A ton more DP for me, the one good thing about this whole mess.

Anyway, today I had guard duty with the C-Rank adventurer Gozou. It really wasn’t so bad once you got used to it. Where’s Rokuko? She’s the owner of the inn, so she gets a free pass.

“Hey, Gozou. The only thing that changed was some colored Jellies, right? What’s the problem with that?”

“Keima, it’s a pretty fuckin’ big deal for a bunch of monsters to start appearing outta nowhere in any dungeon. Even Jellies.”

“...Hey, Gozou. Mind if I go to sleep?”

“Get a grip, Keima. You’re only a C-Rank in this dungeon. If things get too bad that might change. Keep a close eye on that entrance, your future depends on it.” Yeaaah. But I already know what’s up, so it’s hard to care at all. Cause I know there’s nothing to worry about.

I kept up the conversation with Gozou.

“So, how’s that blacksmith friend of yours doing?”

“Kantara? Pretty good, seems like he’s making a good living here. Those eggshells were pretty rare, he said.”

“...Oh, really? I did get them from Haku, so yeah.” Phoenix eggshells really did have a huge resistance to fire. It’d be a pain if people started asking where I got them, so I decided to just pass it off as if Haku gave them to me. And yep, Gozou nodded to himself after hearing it. You can never know what to expect from A-Ranks.

Oh, and by the way, we made an oven out of phoenix eggshells just for the fun of it. It ended up being pretty much the best oven I had ever seen in my life. Kinue, being a chore-loving Silky, was super pumped about it. A small ember was all it needed to cook juicy meat, apparently. It’d burn if you let your guard down for a second, but to her that just meant it was the perfect place to show her skills.

“Alright, I think I’ll have him make some kitchen knives in that forge. Just for Kinue.”

“Oh? Givin’ a present to that cute green lady, eh? I thought for sure you had a thing for little girls, but looks like you have a thing for nice ’n’ curvy women too! Gahaha!” Hey, don’t get the wrong idea. I’m a foot fetishist, not a lolicon. And despite my love of feet, I haven’t used my Absolute Authority to order any of my underlings to give me their socks and shoes. I’m an absolute gentleman. Each of those three monster girls have delicious, delicious feet and I wo— Ahem. They have shapely feet, so if I weren’t such a gentleman, there’d be some seriously R-rated stuff going on right now.

“That girl’s cooking your inn’s food, right? I bet Kantara would be stoked to be makin’ knives for a cook that good.”

“I’d hope so. Oh, how much do knives cost? Dunno if I could buy them if they’re too expensive.”

“You could buy plenty no problem if you bag an Iron Golem in the dungeon. If you’re really pressed for cash, you could just ask for a favor. Just pay’m back by letting us buy beer in the inn.”

“You guys want to drink that much...? Inn workers don’t want to deal with drunkards causing a lot of problems. Get the Guild to build you a tavern or something.”

“Who knows when we’d get to drink beer, though? How many days does it even take to build a tavern?”

“Aaah, alright. Maybe I’ll ask the wizard who built the employee dorm next to the inn to make a tavern next. He’d finish it in no time, but his work is expensive.”

“...Oh yeah, that dorm did pop outta nowhere. Your inn growin’ all the time is one of the seven big mysteries of the [Cave of Greed], y’know.” Wait, what? Seven big mysteries? Since when did that become a thing?

“...When did people start talking about those?”

“Huh? You haven’t heard of ’em before? Hey, you’re one of them. People are always talking about an adventurer who barely works staying at the inn night after night somehow.”

“Oof. What about the other five?”

“Other than the dorm built in a night and the lazy adventurer, there’s ‘the spots beloved by A-Rank adventurers,’ ‘the mysterious blonde loli,’ ‘the impossibly cozy onsen,’ ‘the legendary S-Rank meal,’ and ‘the ever-working Golems.’” Every single mystery of this dungeon just has to do with our inn. And hey, the onsen being cozy isn’t a mystery, that’s just a fact.

“And apparently the owner of the inn slips into your room at night all the time. Some people are sayin’ you get to stay at the inn for free ’cause you’re leeching off her.”

“Woah, woah, woah! Don’t say things like that, man! None of that’s true!” If people learn that’s true, Haku’s gonna find out too and kill me!

“Huh? But we’ve got plenty of eye witnesses who saw the owner sneaking into your room.”

“Rokuko is in my party and we have tactical strategy meetings sometimes. There’s nothing mysterious about it.”

“Really now?” Gozou cackled to himself. This jerk’s just messing with me.

“But y’know, Keima, you’re a dude too. Don’t’cha ever wanna just let loose or somethin’, know what I mean?”

“Sorry, but the only thing I lust for is sleep.”

Oddly enough, maybe due to being a Dungeon Master, I didn’t really get as horny as I used to. Maybe it was when Ichika first joined the crew? Before that, I could barely stop myself from jumping at Rokuko and Niku’s feet. Nowadays? Eh... it’s not so bad. Though I still check out their feet when I get the chance.

At this rate, if I can just conquer my sense of hunger, I’ll be free to do nothing but sleep constantly.

“Oh, what about that little dog girl, then? Guess I don’t have to worry about her, huh?”

“That’s right. You don’t need to worry about Niku at all.” I’m not the kind of guy who’d go into full horndog mode in front of a little kid. As long as Niku’s around keeping watch, I’ll never become a pervert. So yeah. No worries, my man.

“But y’know, I can’t shake th’ feeling that you might be working her too hard.”

“Heh. She actually starts pouting if I don’t let her sleep in the same bed as me, man. If she’s working too hard, it’s because she wants to.”

“...Yeah? She must really care about you. You treat her right, ya hear?”

“Of course.”

We kept on chatting and continued guarding the dungeon entrance against monsters that would never be coming.

Day 152

You might not think so, but sitting down all day during guard duty was surprisingly tiring. I went back to my room and fell asleep the moment my shift was over. And thus was my life for an uncomfortably long time.

But now that’s finally over. Nothing had happened after a solid week, so the Guild concluded everything was safe and took down the barricade.

“...Haaah, finally, I can take it easy again.” I returned to my room in the inn and let my tired body collapse onto my futon. Haaaaaaah... Time for bed. Ah, but first, {Purification}. Man, magic sure is handy.

But just as I had snuggled into bed, Rokuko suddenly threw the door open and burst inside.

“Keima, I finished my part of the dungeon!”

“...Uhhh, can you hold that thought until I finish sleeping?”

“Which is more important, sleep or our dungeon?!” Really? You’re gonna question my love of sleep like that? You should know how this works by now, Rokuko.

“Sleep.”

“But why?!”

“Think about it. I can look at our dungeon whenever we want, but I’m super tired right now. It’s not even a contest. Sleep wins with a knockout victory!”

“Ngh, you just had to say it again, huh?! Fine, whatever! I’ll show it to you tomorrow. You won’t believe your eyes!”

“Yeah, looking forward to it. But right now I’m satisfying my biological human urges.”

“...Geez, you really love sleeping, don’t you?”

“It’s not about loving or hating it. Little ol’ me is just super tired. Okay? So lemme sleep already.” One of the greatest biological urges we humans have is sleep. Just like we’ll die if we don’t eat, we’ll die if we don’t sleep. How could I not care more about getting sleep than rushing to look at a dungeon I see every day?

“I can’t believe you just said ‘little ol’ me’... A-Acting cute won’t get you anywhere, okay?!”

“And I mean, if you showed me right now, I’d be so tired I’d probably just give a deadpan ‘woooow, awesome.’ Is that really how you want your area’s grand debut to go?”

“You’re definitely taking a look at what I did tomorrow, okay?! Goodnight!” Rokuko left my room, having been convinced by my brilliant logic. Alright, time to sleep... zzz...

Day 153

“Keima, it’s morning! Wake up!” Rokuko swung my door open and rushed in again the next morning. Guh... Did I never teach her how to knock? Meh. Whatever. I closed my eyes and let myself drift along the pleasant sleepy waves.

“Morning, huh...? Mornings are for sleeping through... zzz...”

“I know that you humans are actually supposed to wake up in the morning. Wait, now’s not the time for joking around! The Hero is here, the Hero!”

“The Hero? Alright, got it. I’ll get up... in like, five minutes...”

“Wake up now! The Hero’s already here! He’s busy in the Guild’s branch office right now, but he’ll be coming our way any second!” Rokuko beat her fists against me through my blanket. That didn’t really hurt, but it was pretty annoying. Guess I should get up already... and I mean, the Hero is here, so...

“Fwaaah, aaaah. Alright, alright. The Hero’s here, huh? Let’s check him out.” I opened the map and zoomed to the Guild branch office. I checked his /DP (how much DP he earned us over a day) and saw... Holy cow, 1000/DP! That’s how strong Heroes are? Dang, they’re in a league of their own. I could roll the 1,000 DP gacha every day with this kind of income. Or in Goblin terms, I could summon fifty a day. I want him to get out of here ASAP but I also want him to stay for a while... What a tricky guy.

“Keima, aren’t you being a little too calm?”

“I mean, Haku already told us that a Hero would be coming. We’ve finished preparing for him and everything. What’s there to panic about?”

“...So, what are we going to do?”

“Nothing. We’ll just treat him like a normal guest if he visits our inn. Just play it completely cool.” I opened the monitor from the menu and checked out what the Hero himself looked like.

He was a guy with short black hair. He looked Asian and was almost definitely Japanese. According to Haku he had been summoned to this world three years ago, so he had been here a lot longer than I had. But wait... I can tell he’s Japanese just by looking at him. Doesn’t that mean he’ll figure out I’m Japanese too the second he sees me? A Japanese person near a dungeon producing Japanese stuff. Yeah, nothing good would come from that.

“I don’t think this guy should see me, so I’m gonna stay in my room and sleep. Just treat him like a normal adventurer, okay? If he asks about the food or the cards, just tell him they’re stuff an old Hero left that we got from Haku. Tell him that Kinue’s the one cooking all the food. That’s all. Night night. I’ll leave the rest to you, Rokuko, my most trusted and dearest partner.”

“O-Okay, got it. I just have to do what I normally do, right? You can count on me!” Rokuko hurriedly left the room.

Alright... Time to go back to sleep.

“Oh no, Keima! The Hero said he’ll stay in the grand suite! And he wants an A-Rank meal! Also, he tipped me with a gold coin.”

But just when I was starting to fall back asleep, Rokuko swung my door open again. She freakin’ opened the door with her foot, didn’t she? Don’t kick the doors! I might have to take some time out to really educate Rokuko on the importance of knocking.

“...We’ve been treating the grand suite like it belongs to Haku, but it’s just a normal room like any other. We’re an inn, we gotta let the visitors sleep in the room they pay for. As for the children’s deluxe lunch, well... whatever. Just give him the same thing we gave Haku.”

“Okay, but um... I don’t have to eat with him, right? I only did that for my sister.”

“Yeah, don’t worry about it. Now I’m gonna go back to sleep so the Hero doesn’t see me.” I laid back down after watching Rokuko leave my room. Okay. Finally, time to sleep.

“O-Oh no, Keima!” But the moment I started falling asleep, Rokuko yet again kicked my door open, this time so hard it broke off its hinges and flew inside my room. So she finally broke it, huh? Now I definitely have to teach Rokuko about knocking. I must avenge my noble door’s death.

“Hey. The door. Seriously. Don’t kick doors open. Don’t break doors. I’m the one who has to fix them, alright?”

“Who cares! They take you, like, two seconds to fix!”

“That’s true, but still. Anyway... What happened this time? Is it something so bad you really can’t handle it without me?” I got out of bed and started fixing the door, but upon hearing my question, Rokuko blushed bright red and lowered her eyes before finally responding while fidgeting.

“The Hero, p... p-p-p-p... proposed to me! Wh-What should I do, Keima?!”

........................He what?

# Wataru’s Perspective

“So this is the [Cave of Greed]...”

Wataru Nishimi. That was the name of the Hero who had been summoned from Japan to the String Province of the Laverio Empire. Despite being summoned when he was still in his third year of high school, he had been thoroughly trained by the String Province’s chivalric knight order from the moment of his summoning until only recently. When he asked why he had been summoned, they told him that they needed his power to defeat a Demon King.

But apparently, the Duke of String had performed the Hero summoning ceremony without permission from the Empire. He thought that it wouldn’t be a problem if Wataru could defeat a Demon King and bring honor to his house. Unfortunately, the Empire learned about his existence—before he finished his training. Before he brought them any honor. As a result, the duke was executed for hiding a Hero from the state and trying to monopolize his power.

Heroes were geopolitically equivalent to weapons of mass destruction, as they were by default strong enough to earn an S-Rank in the Adventurer’s Guild. Summoning a Hero without permission was basically the same thing as stealing government secrets and building a long-range nuclear warhead. Yeah, you would need more than a firearm license to do something like that.

And although the Laverio Empire was by no means on good terms with the Demon Realm, invading another country without authorization from the standing Emperor would be an act of clear treason. Wataru could hardly blame the Empire for the execution: the duke was clearly at fault. Not to mention that his exclusive goal had been to gain more power, since he considered himself more suitable to the throne than anyone else. In fact, his introduction to Wataru had been: Greetings, Hero. I am Brie String, future emperor of these lands. Though as of yet, I am still a mere duke. There were a lot of problems with that introduction.

Wataru didn’t even understand how he planned to become the emperor in the first place, given his status as a duke. He didn’t have imperial blood, so his only option would be a bloody coup d’etat. Not much chance of that succeeding.

In the end, the real Emperor executed the duke and entrusted Wataru to Haku Laverio, his ancestor. Despite looking by all accounts like a human, her massive life span and immense beauty had led many to believe that she was actually a High Elf. She had abdicated the throne to her children long ago and was in the middle of retirement, with an imperial villa as her home. However, she remained just as powerful and influential as she was when she founded the Laverio Empire. Both her influence and beauty hadn’t changed over the years. And, on top of that, she was also an A-Rank adventurer known as the Ivory Goddess. She involved herself in both the politics of the Empire and everyday affairs across the lands. Some said she was the most important person in the entire Empire, even more so than the Emperor himself.

...Wait. Isn’t she supposed to be in retirement? The definition for retirement must be different in this world, thought Wataru.

Under Haku’s protection, Wataru became a Hero known throughout the Laverio Empire. He formally left the String Knight Order that had been training him and became a direct subject of the Empire itself. A noble title was still being prepared for him, but in the meantime he was being considered one of Haku’s personal bodyguards.

And why did a Hero such as he go to the [Cave of Greed]? Simple: He had seen one of the decks of cards brought to the Imperial Capital by a trader. The cards were made of a much higher quality paper than almost any he had seen in this world, and they had pretty pictures imprinted on them. The moment Wataru saw the cards, he couldn’t help but remember the world he had almost forgotten... Earth, and his home, Japan.

On top of all that, the container for the box of cards had a barcode on it. It was a clear, nostalgic sign that the cards were from his original world. Although residents of this fantasy world would only see it as a meaningless pattern, to him the barcode was an undeniable link to Japan. Wataru immediately considered finding out where the cards came from, or rather, where he could get them himself, to be his most important goal. He was Haku’s bodyguard in name only, after all.

Completing that goal was surprisingly simple, as if his path had been prepared for him. After requesting leave from Haku and explaining why, she informed him that he was looking for the very place that she often snuck off to on private business. As she had no reason to stop him from going there, she granted his request and even prepared a carriage for him.

After about half a month of riding within the bumpy carriage, Wataru finally reached the [Cave of Greed].

“...This is the place, right?” Before him was a shabby Guild branch office and an inn. Nothing else. (He later heard about a nearby smithery, but he couldn’t see it from where he was.) Wataru immediately headed for the inn... but right before going inside, remembered that he should probably visit the Guild first to announce his arrival. Unfortunately, they offered him a cup of tea that he couldn’t refuse, which took more time than he would have liked.

...Being an S-Rank’s not as easy as it sounds. This kind of thing never happened to me back when I was a C-Rank. But he couldn’t go back to being a C-Rank even if he wanted to. Heroes are an automatic S-Rank within the guild. Automatic.

He headed back to the Inn.

“W-Welcome to my inn!” A girl in a dress greeted him immediately upon entry. Her long blonde hair fell to the ground as she bowed in greeting to him. She then glanced around the room before finally stammering out the rest of her greeting.

“Th-Thank you v-very much for vishiting... visiting our Dancing Doll Inn. I’m Rokuko, its owner.”

The owner herself was greeting him. They must have been contacted about his arrival beforehand. But seriously, she was stammering so much. And she bit her tongue midway through her sentence. Somehow... That felt very calming. Wataru subconsciously smiled. For some reason, he couldn’t take his eyes off Rokuko. He felt something very familiar, very nostalgic about her.

“Sir? Wh-What is it?” Rokuko, confused by Wataru’s staring, peered at him.

“Ah, e-er, nothing. I’m Wataru Nishimi. Ummm, I heard from Lady Haku that you have a suite room she recommends. She also said the food is really good.”

“Bwuuuh?! O-Okaaay! Gimme just a secooond! Um, there’s a chair right over there, go ahead and sit!” She left it at that and dashed into a hallway. Wataru noticed that she stopped being very polite by the end of her greeting, probably due to not being very used to interacting with visitors, but he didn’t mind.

He sat in the recommended seat and took a deep breath. The air smelled slightly like Japan, he thought.

“Yeah... There’s definitely something special about this place.” He thought back to the past three years. A lot had happened. He started to wonder how his old buddies from the String Knight’s Order were doing, but stopped before he remembered the traumas he had associated with that time in his life.

It wasn’t long before Rokuko came back. Something about her definitely drew him in.

“The grand suite is this way. Please follow me.” He followed after Rokuko. Before him were her swaying blonde hair and cute butt. He knew she wasn’t trying to seduce him or anything of the sort, but for some reason, he couldn’t look away from her butt. Its swaying form captivated him. I don’t get it. This has never happened to me before. His heart beat faster as he felt something similar to lust mixed with nostalgia.

I want to try squeezing it... Wait, what am I thinking?! Wataru shook his head to get rid of his lustful thoughts.

“Sir?”

“Ah, uh, I-I didn’t mean it!”

“Um, rather, this is the grand suite. And here is your key.”

“...Thank you.” Before he knew it, they had reached the grand suite. He took the key from the owner and looked around the room.

The glass window, wallpaper, and furniture were all reasonable. He felt as if he had seen furniture exactly like it before, but it wouldn’t be odd if they had been made within this fantasy world. But the massage chair in the middle of the room was a different story, especially since it would vibrate if you put money into a box beside it.

“...I don’t see any power outlets or anything.”

“Ah, sir. When will you be eating? We’re serving breakfast right now, and... aaah, but you have to buy a food ticket first. Aaah, but I think visitors staying in the suite can order from their room?” It was very clear from her constant confusion that she wasn’t used to dealing with customers. Thankfully, Wataru found that more amusing than anything.

“Hmm, I’ll have whatever you recommend. I heard you have lots of delicious bread rolls here.”

“My recommendation? Well, I’ll have to recommend a [Melon Roll]... o-or at least, I would to other customers, but the white bread is the best we have. Yes. White bread.” Melon Roll. Rokuko had said that entirely by accident, and Wataru didn’t miss it.

“...Your name’s Rokuko, if I remember correctly. Who are you, really?”

“Th-The owner of this inn, of course.” Rokuko glanced away, but Wataru had more or less already guessed the truth. Haku liked this place. She recommended it. The design of the inn. After mulling everything together and drawing a conclusion, Wataru spoke.

“...Will you become my partner?”

“Eh? No way.” She rejected him so fast and hard she didn’t even try to be polite.

# Keima’s Perspective

Proposing to Rokuko? What, does this guy wanna die? Haku’s gonna execute him the second he goes home if she hears about this. And I mean, that won’t be a problem for me or anything, but I don’t wanna abandon a Japanese brother of mine like that. I’m in the middle of trying to live like a good person.

“...So, what should I do, Keima?”

“First of all, what exactly did he say to you?”

“Eh? Mmm, um, he said ‘please become my partner,’ or something like that.” Rokuko blushed and fidgeted, but... was that really a proposal? Partner was a word with lots of different meanings. It certainly was often used to denote a married couple, but it could also just mean two people working together, like Rokuko and I. I’ve called Rokuko my partner more than a few times, after all.

...Ah...! Wait, is Mr. Automatic Translation playing some major tricks on me again?

“Hey, Rokuko. Would you mind defining ‘partner’ for me real fast?”

“Well, obviously, I turned him right down! You’re the only partner I need, Keima!”

“Th-Thanks. So, you turned him down. What’s the problem?”

“Hold on! Ummmm, well. He’s being really pushy about it. He wants to eat breakfast with me so we can talk. You come too, Keima.” An invitation from a mighty S-Rank adventurer, huh? She could just turn him down like anyone else, there are no rules about obeying their every command or anything. But I guess we’re gonna have to talk to him at some point; we may as well do it over a meal. And yeah, uh, I get the feeling letting Rokuko talk to him alone would be a huge mistake. She’ll definitely let something major slip. Maybe she’s already let something slip. It’s possible. Like, what did she do that led to him asking her to be his partner? I can’t even imagine. Was it just love at first sight?

“I think I need to introduce him to you and really show him that I already have a partner.”

“Yeah? Uh... I guess?”

“Come on, be more serious about this. You’re my partner, aren’t you?”

“Yeah, I’m your partner. Yep. Sure am.” Crap. Now I can’t ask her what ‘partner’ means without sounding like a jerk.

...Yeah, I’m just gonna pretend I never noticed this problem. Putting off problems to deal with later is the classic Japanese solution to things. Glad to see I haven’t forgotten my roots. Oh, right, and I can just ask the Hero what he thinks the word means.

＊ ＊ ＊

And so, I ended up talking directly with the Hero. It was hard to turn down an invitation to eat together. We were in the grand suite, sitting at the table as Kinue laid out the A-Rank kid’s lunch in front of us. I was sitting opposite to the Hero, wearing my Narikin mask so that I could pass myself off as the mysterious Earth Wizard adventurer. Rokuko was beside me.

Also, since I was trying to hide my black Japanese hair, I had converted the mask into more of a full plate helmet with slits for eye openings. I could lift up the mouth plate to eat. It was pretty convenient, so I planned on replacing my mask with it entirely. Dying my hair entirely was another option, but I didn’t know how to dye it, and it’d be annoying to dye my hair whenever I had to do anything special in public. But most importantly, I didn’t want to impact the quality of my sleep by messing with my hair.

“Greetings, lord Hero. I am Narikin. This is my partner, Rokuko. It is an honor to meet you.”

“It’s nice to meet you too. I am Wataru Nishimi... um, Narikin. Rokuko. I’m sorry to be so rude despite inviting you to this meal, but the food’s so different from what I expected I don’t know if I’ll be able to say much for a bit. I’m sorry.” The plan had been to talk while eating, but despite worrying if the children’s lunch would be enough for him, the Hero had completely fallen head over heels for it. He had been staring at the food and the Cream Soda ever since Kinue started setting the table.

Maybe it had been a mistake to give him the normal A-Rank meal? Since he grew up in Japan, he knew how much a meal like this would actually cost. Even still, I thought that it was a bit ridiculous to ask five gold for it.

And so, the Hero became absorbed in silently eating his food. He had a deadly serious expression on his face the entire time. Uh... You’re like twenty years old, so it’s kinda awkward watching you silently eat a lunch for children like this. Rokuko and I ate silently as well. Even if we tried talking to him, he just shot us down so hard it kinda felt like he’d murder us if we got in the way of his eating. I knew it, he must be friggin’ pissed about the price. Curse you, Ichika! ...or so I thought, but apparently, I was wrong.

“...Thank you for the meal.” Wataru, after drinking down all the Cream Soda and leaving not a single crumb on his plate... started crying.

“I’m sorry, this food just reminded me of my hometown... the home I’ll never be able to return to.” Three years. Haku said that Wataru had been summoned to this world three years ago. That’s as long as it would take to enter and graduate from a Japanese high school. It wasn’t a short time frame at all, and a lot must have happened to him over those years. I didn’t know what, but judging from his reaction to the food, it wasn’t hard to imagine that his life here had been a lot, lot harder than his old life.

“You can’t go home?”

“Right. My home is in another world, and there’s no way to reach it from this one. I’m still looking for a way to return, but... even if I do find one, I won’t be able to use it. I’ve... I’ve killed people with my own hands since coming to this world. That is an unforgivable crime where I come from.” He had killed people since coming to this world, and thus considered himself incapable of returning to Japan. He wouldn’t be arrested for murdering fantasy people or anything, but I imagined he was talking from an emotional perspective.

“If you can’t go home, why are you searching for a way back?”

“So that if I find someone else in my situation, I can help them return home. Well... That’s one reason, but I guess homesickness is what really drives me. I miss my home more than I can describe.” This place is so much easier to live in than Japan that I don’t really feel like going back myself, but maybe I’ll start missing home eventually? As long as I get to sleep, I’m happy.

“I understand why Haku recommended this inn to me. There’s definitely a connection between this place and Japan. I have a lot of questions I want to ask you two. Is that okay?”

“...If they’re questions I can answer, I will try.”

“Okay... Rice. Where did you get the rice used in that meal?” Oh crap, already throwing a hardball. Normally I’d just blow this question off and say Haku got it for me so I don’t know, but this guy is a Hero who can ask Haku questions directly if he wants. If Haku says she doesn’t know either, a clear contradiction will arise. Things would get pretty bad for us if he picks up on that contradiction.

“...Well, we are a business. I don’t want to share all my secrets.”

“Please, can’t you do anything about that? I swear I won’t tell anyone where you get it. I just want to eat rice again.”

“Then I will provide it to you. I can’t offer too much, but I should be able to sell you cleaned rice.”

“Thank you so much...! Oh, right. But where does the rice come from?” Give it a rest already, pal. I can understand why he’s obsessed, though. Rice is the soul of any Japanese person. I get the feeling he’ll just keep begging me for an answer forever until I cave in. Guess I should name some random country to get him off my back. Uhhh... I feel like Haku mentioned a country called Wakoku once. She said that’s where cherries are grown or something? Alright, that’s what I’ll roll with.

Wataru was quietly waiting for my response, likely thinking that I was debating on whether or not to tell him.

“Have you ever heard of the country Wakoku?”

“Yes, actually, I’m planning to go there someday. Because I mean, it’s an eastern country and ‘Wakoku’ was an old name for the country I come from. It’s a bit suspicious.” Oh... Oh crap! I never noticed that!

“Er, well, Haku brings me cherries and stuff from there.”

“Oooh, that must mean there are sakura trees there! I’m looking forward to that!” Ah. Right. Sakura trees. Cherry blossom trees. Cherries. Makes sense. They probably don’t look like the ones from Japan, but yeah. This Hero is making tricking him a lot easier for me. There might actually be rice ther— Wait. Haku said she didn’t know what rice is. I doubt she’d know what cherries are but not rice. Which means it probably isn’t there.

...Eh, I never said the rice came from there, so I’m still all good. Bring out all the lie-detecting magic tools you want. I’ve spoken nothing but the truth!

“That’s all I can say about where I get the rice.”

“Thank you. Next, I would appreciate it if you took a look at this.” Wataru thanked me and placed a box of cards on the table.

“I’ve heard that boxes of cards like this can be found within the [Cave of Greed].”

“You’ve heard right, they’re all over the place on the first floor. We buy them from adventurers for five coppers each.”

“...Narikin, take a look at this.” The Hero pointed at the corner of the box. Uh... What? Is there something on it? Looks like a normal box of cards to me.

“Hm? It looks normal to me. Are you showing us a card trick or something?”

“Wait, um, what’s this weird pattern thingy?” The Hero grinned. Rokuko’s comment made me realize what he was pointing out. I felt the blood drain from my face and a shiver run down my spine.

...It’s a barcode. These things have barcodes on them?! That’s it! We’re done for! No way out of this one!

“That’s what I’m talking about. This pattern is called a barcode, and a special technique allows one to extract information about a product through it.”

“Ah, now that you mention it, I have been wondering what this pattern meant. Very interesting.” I played it as cool as I could. Yeah... This guy’s definitely thinking I’m Japanese. My reaction just now may have sealed the deal for him. We might have an ace detective on our hands.

Oh, right. He definitely asked Haku about the barcode too. That must be why she was so sure I had some genius plan to attract Heroes: the barcodes were perfect bait. Sorry! It was just a dumb mistake!

“...So, basically, I think that this dungeon might be a key to finding my way back home.”

“I see. Well, investigate it all you want, but keep in mind this is a dungeon for beginners. Don’t tear it up too much.”

“Right. I’ll keep that in mind. Either way, I would like to rent this room for the next week.” With that said, the Hero Wataru bowed to us deeply. Hm. He seems like a nice enough guy, but what should I do with him...

Oh. Right. I should follow up on that whole ‘proposing to Rokuko’ thing. Pretty sure he was just asking her to be his investigation partner or something, but yeah.

“By the way... I heard something about you proposing to Rokuko?” Wataru spat out his drink.

“E-Er, well, er... yeah, I did. She turned me down, though. But... I’m not giving up on her. I’ll definitely make her fall for me.”

“You do know that Rokuko is Haku’s little sister, right? You’re definitely gonna have an, uh, ‘accident’ if you lay your hands on her.”

“Don’t worry, I won’t do anything without Rokuko’s consent. I care about what she thinks.” If you care about what she thinks, why didn’t you give up on her after she turned you down?

“I also happen to be her partner already, so...”

“Oh, but she’s not wearing a ring. Have you not given her one yet?” A... ring?

“I guess where you’re from, Hero, there’s a custom of giving a ring to one’s partner? We live out in the country as you can see, so it’s likely that our cultures differ in that respect.”

“In that case, I can gift her a ring myself. I’ll have one sent to her tomorrow if you can tell me her size.”

“Hahahaha, no need. I can find a ring for her on my own. This isn’t the kind of gift to leave to another person, I think.” I glanced at Rokuko and saw that she was grinning, her cheeks flushed. I feel like this conversation’s going down a bad path. I was just saying what came to mind, but really, what the heck does “partner” actually mean to these two? He brought up a ring... Does he mean, like, a wedding ring?

“That’s right, we’re definitely partners. Mmm... These kinds of rings go on the ring finger, right?”

“Yep. That’s why it’s called the ring finger.” Hey, I’m not so sure that’s true. And... crap. Looks like they are talking about wedding rings. Or something like them, at least. I shoulda just manned up and asked what “partner” meant when I had the chance. I’m pretty bad at just going with the flow.

“Well, either way, I don’t intend to give up on her.”

“Uh, c’mon dude, you’re obviously being dumb here. But anyway... Why Rokuko? You’re a Hero. You should be drowning in girls.”

“Well, it’s a lot more complicated than that. You see...” Wataru lowered his gaze and began to tell his tale.

＊ ＊ ＊

It all started three years ago. Wataru Nishimi, summoned to this world as a Hero, was assigned to the String Chivalric Knight’s Order and led a soldier’s life as part of his training. He had been only seventeen years old, still a high schooler—a teenager who loved video games and didn’t have any particular fantasies about being a fantasy hero.

Defeating a Demon King. To achieve the goal he had been summoned for, the Hero Wataru hunted monsters and trained to grow more powerful. He trained and trained until one day, it finally happened. While raiding a bandit camp with his fellow knights... he killed for the first time. He took another human being’s life. Wataru was struck with immense guilt. Although he knew that the bandit would have killed others had he been left alive, although he had swung his blade in a panic after seeing the bandit about to kill one of his comrades, Wataru was a civilized Japanese youth. The guilt and self-loathing he felt over murder was more than he could bear.

Wataru locked himself in his room. He skipped training for days in a row, so crushed by hatred for himself that he couldn’t even move. But right when he resigned himself to a peaceful death through starvation, someone kicked down his door and forced him outside.

“Wataru, you idiot! If you die... who would I have left?!”

His fellow knight Pamella had saved him at the last possible moment. From that day on, Pamella actively hung around Wataru, spending as much time with him as possible. He talked to her about Japan. He talked to her about a lot of random, meaningless things. And Pamella listened to it all. She never pushed him away or rejected what he had to say. She took everything with a gentle, kind smile.

Over time, Wataru gradually fell more and more in love with Pamella, until one day... he confessed to her.

“I feel the same way about you!” She accepted his feelings. Wataru was on top of the world. He was so happy that he worked as hard as he could to earn enough money to marry Pamella. He took any quest the Guild offered, no matter how hard or dangerous. Not even quests no other adventurer would even think about taking could make him balk.

However. Right after he settled on spending the rest of his life with Pamella...

“...Aww, no way. I like men with lots of muscles like you, Captain.”

“Hahaha! Yeah, Wataru’s a real bean sprout, huh? Alright. Come on, let’s go to my room.”

Wataru saw Pamella entering a room alone with another squad’s captain.

The next day, she smiled at him the same as ever. She hadn’t changed at all. Wataru tried to forget what he saw, convincing himself that it had all been just a dream. But then it happened. The duke got arrested and everything changed.

“...Pamella’s gone?!”

“Hey! There’s a note on her bed!” The note said, “Sorryyy! The duke’s been arrested, so I’m out of here! Have a good one, friends!” and was signed Pamella Zan. The duke was arrested, so she left. At first, Wataru didn’t understand the connection. But he soon learned.

“Hey, I know shit’s real right now, but none of you jerks should be in my Pamella’s room.”

“Huh? YOUR Pamella? Quit jokin’ around, jerkface. Pamella’s my girl.”

“Hold up, you two. We were keeping it a secret, but Pamella and I had plans to get married soon.”

“No, we did! Pamella’s my fiancée, not yours!” Countless knights had secret relationships with Pamella. And when she disappeared, so too did all their savings.

An investigation afterwards discovered that she had spent all their money buying more portable precious stones which she took with her when she fled. The investigation also revealed that Pamella was actually an assassin the duke had hired to keep the Hero under check... an assassin, and a con artist who tricked men into fake marriages for money.

Somehow, she had taken Wataru’s savings as well. She even stole the few precious items from Japan that had come with him during the summoning process. He did manage to buy them all back from a nearby pawn shop, but it hurt to know that she had viewed even his most precious belongings as nothing but a source of quick cash.

“Pamella... I understand that she’s a criminal. But surely, surely there’s some tragic explanation to all this. There must be some reason she did all this.” Wataru clung to an imperial investigator, having some slim hope that his relationship with Pamella had been real. But the next words that investigator said shattered that hope to dust.

“You know that the con artist Pamella Zan is a man, right? Women aren’t allowed within the String Chivalric Knight’s Order to begin with.”

Oh God.

＊ ＊ ＊

“...And that’s how it happened.”

“W-Well then. You have my deepest condolences.” Holy crap. This guy sure had a hard life. That’s all I can say. Though if Pamella’s a guy, I gotta wonder what happened in that room with the captain... wait, no. This isn’t a path I want to walk down.

“So, what does Pamella have to do with you proposing to Rokuko?”

“Nothing really. I just fell in love with Rokuko at first sight.” Nothing?! Then why’d you tell us all that?!

“Ah, wait! It’s not completely irrelevant, it’s just, I think it’s important to follow your heart with romance. Even if it’s something as simple as falling in love at first sight.”

“...That’s all?”

“Yes, that’s all.” I listened to that whole story just for that? This Hero really needs to learn to get to the point.

“...If you really care that much about Rokuko, I would like you to prove it.”

“Huh? Prove it...?”

“Yes. If you can prove that you two really are that close, I might find it in me to give up on her.” Yeaaah, I don’t know what’s wrong with this guy. But I think I get what he’s saying.

“So basically, Rokuko and I just have to kiss in front of you?”

“Hyaaahiiih?! N-No, h-h-hold on! N-No way, no way! I-I’m not ready for that yet, no way!” Rokuko shook both hands in front of her face, blushing bright red. Seriously? If you turn a kiss down that intensely the Hero’s definitely not gonna drop this. Though if we did kiss, Haku would probably execute me later, so... This is fine too.

“Hah, seems like Rokuko’s not up for a kiss. Which means I still have a chance to win her over and take her from you.” Seriously? You’re just gonna say it like that? What a guy.

“Now, now, Rokuko’s just a little shy, that’s all. We may not look it, but we are partners in body and soul.”

“Oh? Okay, let’s do it this way. I fell in love with her at first sight. Show me that you have what it takes to protect Rokuko. For instance... If you’re a better adventurer than me, I’ll be confident leaving her to you.”

“Hahaha, surely you jest. Isn’t it a little much to ask that I be a better adventurer than you, an S-Rank?”

“Don’t worry. I was a C-Rank before the Guild automatically boosted me up to S-Rank.” C’mon, that’s gotta be because the duke was putting pressure on them. He didn’t want you shooting up the ranks and getting noticed by Haku, since she actually runs the Guild. Though, all that effort was wasted since he still got found out and executed.

“Well, you do have a point. Let’s have several little competitions instead, then. That way we can find out who’s the better adventurer withou—wait, wait. Maybe you’ll get more into it if I say it like this?” Wataru stood up and spoke in a deeper, “cooler” tone of voice.

“Narikin! I’ll fight you for Rokuko!”

“No thanks.” I shot him down.

“...Narikin! I’ll fight you for Rokuko!”

“No thanks.” Saying it twice won’t change anything.

“But why?!”

“Because there’s absolutely no reason for me to do so. Judging from everything you’ve said up to this point, what you’re doing now is nothing more than trying to wrap me up in your failed confession. You’re being a nuisance.”

“Ngh! You’re right!”

“Aw, why not? Go ahead, fight him over me.” Rokuko, however, was pretty into the idea for whatever reason.

“Very well. But tell me, Hero, what’s in it for me if I win?”

“Wha? Er, ummm... How aboooout... I keep quiet about you being a Japanese person, Narikin? Does that sound fair?”

“.........Why would you suggest that I am Japanese?”

“Aren’t you?” Yep. I totally am, but saying that here would just be sealing my fate. And if I say no, he might have a lie-detecting magic tool that would likewise seal my fate. The only thing I can do here is change the topic and get him confused.

“Let’s assume I am a Japanese person. Why would you telling others that be a problem for me?”

“I don’t know, but it must be problematic to you since you’re wearing that mask to hide it. If it’s not a problem, why don’t you take off the mask so we can talk as Japanese people face to face?”

“It’s possible that my face is just so scarred and hideous that I don’t want anybody to see it. I would prefer it if you did not press this subject.”

“Ah! I-I’m sorry! I didn’t think about that!” Wataru bowed in apology, accepting his mistake. Dang. This guy’s a lot nicer than I thought he’d be.

“Man, I really thought that you had made this inn, and that the name ‘Narikin’ came from the Japanese word for someone earning a ton of money really fast. I was totally fooled.” Close, but no cigar. I took it from the shogi definition of narikin, since I share part of my actual name with a shogi piece. Better luck next time.

I mean, technically, you pretty much got it already, but I’m not actually gonna say that.

“I see. That’s just... a coincidence, I suppose. It might be an odd name from your perspective, but it’s normal where I’m from. Also, this inn was built with designs from a past Hero as reference. It has peculiar magic tools within it excavated from the [Cave of Greed] which might have given you pause, such as that massage chair.”

“Hahaha, wow. Interesting. Do you mind if I take the chair apart to see how it works? I’ll even buy it if I have to.”

“I already gave that one to Haku. You’re going to have to give up on it.”

“Ngh, guess that means I have to find one in the dungeon, huh...?” And finding one there is entirely up to luck... or rather, it’s up to me. Right now, at least.

“...Very well, I have a suggestion. If I win, you give me a magic tool that can detect lies. I’ll consider accepting your challenge if you can agree to that.” A lie-detecting magic tool cost 50,000 DP. That meant I only had to convert fifty gold coins to DP in order to buy one. The grand suite cost twenty-five golds a night, so two nights would be enough. Getting it wouldn’t be a problem. I asked him for one anyway both because I wanted to actually get my hands on one and experiment with it, and because I wanted to see how easy it would be for him to get one. If I learned something about how rare they are, this little gambit would be more than worth it.

“Ah, w-well, I have heard of magic tools like that, but... sorry. I don’t have one. Countries force adventurers to sell those kinds of magic tools to them.”

“Even an S-Rank adventurer like yourself?”

“...Ah! That’s right, I’m an S-Rank now, it might be possible...! Aaah, but wait, I might need Haku’s permission... A-ah, but maybe Rokuko’s permission will be enough... U-Um. I’ll look into it. If it doesn’t work out, I hope you’ll be willing to change your terms.” Eh, I’m a Dungeon Master. Nothing too bad should come from me breaking the law a little here. And man, this Hero really is a nice guy. That’s making it harder for me to mess with him.

By the way, I only said I’d “consider” accepting the challenge. Don’t get ahead of yourself, bub.

“So, what’re you gonna do? Are you going to fight him for me?”

“Might I ask what will happen if I lose?”

“...Errr, please let me court Rokuko and all that.” Wow, talk about restraint. I thought for sure he’d talk about bringing Rokuko back with him to the Empire or something.

“Well, as long as you show respect for Rokuko’s feelings and don’t aggravate her, that’s fine.”

“Yes, of course. I wouldn’t forget to show a lady the respect she deserves.” Wataru glanced at Rokuko. She was grinning really wide. Yeaaah... She’s super happy that he just called her a “lady.”

“In any case, I refuse your challenge. There’s just no reason for me to accept.”

“I see, that’s unfortunate.” Yeah? Well, you don’t look too sad about it. Mmm... I bet he’s planning something.

But despite my suspicion, the meal ended without him pulling anything funny. Anyway... I’m gonna hide out in the Master Room for the next week and pass it off as Narikin going off on a business trip or something. That should help me avoid having any more difficult conversations like this one.

Day 156

And so, three days passed. We got about 4,500 DP from Wataru staying those three days. Plus, his room fee had totaled to seventy-five gold coins, with an additional twenty-five gold coins for food. We were making the big bucks. The big bucks! Oh, and ten of those gold coins from the food came from a tip he gave Rokuko and me for eating with him. We were repaying the thanks by giving him a free sandwich each morning.

But man, the grand suite really is something special. We’re making as much now as we do when Haku comes over. The Hero’s not tipping Rokuko like Haku does, but he innately gives us DP just by existing. That’s a big help, since Haku’s passive DP value is 0 a day for whatever reason.

“Hey, Keima. When are you going to give me that ring? I’ve been waiting for it, you know.”

“Huh? Ring? What’re you talking about?”

“You forgot...?! L-Like, the partner ring?”

“Aaah, aaaah... That thing. I remember. Yeah, the ring. Right. So, what kind of ring do you want? Gold? Silver? Something flashy?”

“I just want whatever ring you think would fit me the best.” That kinda hands-off advice is the hardest to deal with... eh, whatever. This is a present, after all. Rokuko has blonde hair and blue eyes, so a bright red ring would probably look good on her. Roses would definitely look good on her. Might be smart to fit a nice gemstone in the ring... ah, I wonder how strong I should make it. Maybe I should look for some fantasy metal to make the ring with. Orichalcum costs a lot of DP, but a ring’s worth of the stuff wouldn’t set me back too far.

“It’ll take a bit before it’s ready. Is that okay?”

“Mmm, um, uh-huh. I’m looking forward to it.” Rokuko left my room while fidgeting. Is she holding in pee or something? Wait, no, she’s a Dungeon Core. Must be something else.

By the way, I asked Ichika what partner meant, and she told me it meant companion with a strong nuance of “two being as one.” Married couples were often called partners, but so were parties of two friendly adventurers. It was common for such partners to wear matching accessories (not just rings). Rokuko and I were both adventurers, so it made sense for us to be considered partners. Though we had Niku and Ichika in our party as well.

Basically, Rokuko was just being a little silly when she thought the Hero was proposing to her... yeah, nah. He doubled down on calling it a proposal during the lunch. Yeaaaah... Yeah. Unless I’m just being cocky here, I think Rokuko might be a little in love with me. I’m not sure what there is to love about me, but yeah. Honestly, I wouldn’t mind if she was. She has the exact kind of cute feet that I love, after all.

But let’s say that, theoretically, she and I got together... oh crap. Haku just murdered my theoretical self. How did that even happen? My imagination’s too powerful for my own good...

I checked the monitor and saw that the Hero was talking to the current receptionist, Neruneh.

“Aaah, got some good loot today. Check these cards out! I got two boxes!”

“Wooow, that’s awesome. By the way, what kind of magic can you use, Mister Hero?”

The Hero hadn’t made any moves on Rokuko since we last met. Even if they crossed paths within the inn, all he would do was give her a wave and a nod. Hmmm. This guy’s definitely planning something. I’m so caught up tracking this guy I can barely sleep... Crap. How dare he get in the way of my rest like this.

“So, would you like an A-Rank meal again tonight?”

“Mmm, nah, three days in a row is enough for me. I’ll have a B-Rank tonight, please.”

“’Kaaay, I’ll bring it up to your room later.”

“No need. I want to try eating in the cafeteria today. The whole food ticket system you have here seems pretty interesting.” Looks like he’s not getting an A-Rank meal today. Too bad. Goodbye, money. But I guess a B-Rank meal is still worth a solid gold coin. I wonder how much money Heroes... or really, S-Rank adventurers make. They sure drop gold coins like they’re nothing. Not that I’d ever risk my life working for money like that. All I want is a good night’s rest each day.

＊ ＊ ＊

Right after I finished taking my pre-sleep nap, Rokuko came walking in, eating a purin.

“Keima, the Hero is looking for you.”

“...Me? Not Narikin?” I dunno why, but I’ve got a bad feeling about this. I’m pretty sure he’s never met me as anyone but Narikin before. Why’s he looking for me, specifically?

“Mhm, he’s looking for you, Keima. He wants to talk to you about Niku, or something.” The Japanese Hero wants to talk to me about the dog-eared loli slave working in my inn. Yeah, alright, I can already guess what he has to say.

“Euuugh, this feels like it’s gonna be annoying... Can’t you tell him I’m not here?”

“Weeell, the regulars in the end were all like ‘That guy’s always sleeping in the inn,’ ‘Keima? Oooh, that lazybones?,’ ‘I know the guy. He knows more about this dungeon than anyone,’ and so on. They told him pretty much everything, so I think you’re kind of stuck here.” Apparently, he gave them all free purins. That was pretty nice of him. Makes sense all the adventurers opened up to him. My inn has the best purins in the world, though they’re cheap and only cost 1 DP each.

Tch. I let my guard down. But a conversation about Niku, huh... Oh man, wait. Did he fall in love with Niku since Rokuko rejected him? Man, this Hero is a real playboy.

“...Alright, alright, I’ll talk to him... Is he in his room?”

“He’s waiting in the cafeteria.” Seriously? He’s gonna have this talk in front of others?

“He wanted to bring Niku to his room, but she turned him down, so he gave up and decided to wait there instead.”

“Yeah, that Hero doesn’t seem like the kind of guy to drag an unwilling girl to his room. But... he tried to bring Niku to his room, huh?”

I shook myself awake and headed to the cafeteria. I wanted to avoid meeting the Hero like this, but eh, whatever. Meeting him as Narikin had just been a cautionary step while testing the waters; my true identity wasn’t a huge secret or anything. Though I had hoped to hide it from him if possible.

The moment I entered the cafeteria, Niku came running and clung to me. Everyone turned to look at us.

“Master.”

“Hey. Good girl, good girl. What’s up?” I rubbed Niku’s head, causing her to happily wag her tail and ears. She was so sweet it warmed my heart. Alright, time to take her back to my room and sleep.

“...Are you Keima?” The Hero stopped us. C’mon, man, read the friggin’ mood.

“That’s right. Who are you?”

“Wataru Nishimi. I wanted to talk to you about that little girl, but now I have other business with you.” Judging from the direction of his gaze, Wataru was probably looking at my hair. Sooo, did he figure out I’m Narikin? I didn’t use a fake voice or anything back then, so it’s possible.

“It’d be a little hard to talk out here. Would you mind coming to my room?”

“Sure. I guess Niku should come with us?”

“...Errr, well, sure.” Wataru kind of hesitated there. But either way, I headed to the suite room with Niku in tow. Some of the crowd booed as we left, but I ignored them. Mob characters like them weren’t important enough to eavesdrop on a conversation with a Hero.

Wataru talked to me on the way to his room.

“...You’re Narikin, aren’t you?”

“Nope. I’m Keima.”

“You sound exactly the same! How are you here when you said you were out on a trip?!”

“Didn’t Narikin mention the horrible scars on his face? I don’t have a scratch on mine.”

“Ah, that’s true... Wait! I didn’t see the scars with my own eyes! I knew it, you just dressed up as Narikin to hide your black hair, didn’t you?!” Tch. Couldn’t manage to trick him.

“Um! You’re a Japanese person too, right?! You look like one, and the only people here with black hair are Heroes! Which means Japanese people!” Oh really? I didn’t know that.

“My parents were Japanese, and I know a lot about Japan. I don’t know everything about it, though.”

“...Oh, I see.” Man, he sure looks disappointed. Guess he didn’t notice I never said I’m not Japanese.

We finally reached his room.

“So, what did you want to talk to me about?”

“Errr, I said half of it on the way here, but... Is this girl Japanese too? She has black hair too, I mean. Not sure about the dog ears, though...” He did just say that only Japanese people have black hair. There might be people with black hair that live a long ways away, but around here, it’s pretty rare. Honestly, I want to know where Niku came from too.

“I found Niku recently, so I don’t know. Have any ideas, Niku?”

“...I don’t know anything about my past. All my memories are blurry. But... I’d be happy if I were the same as you, Master.” What a little cutie. I rubbed Niku’s head.

“...Er. You really are Japanese, aren’t you? Narikin.”

“I’m not Narikin. I’m Keima.”

“Alright. Keima. You named her Niku knowing what that word means, didn’t you?” Huh? Knowing what “Niku” means? I know it’s slang for slaves, in this world at least. I learned that when Niku told me “I’ll do my best to be a good niku for you, Master.” a while ago.

I double checked with Ichika to be sure and she confirmed that it was a slang word with a wide variety of meanings, from “pet” to “dakimakura.” Adventurers in particular often used it to mean “meat shield” or “enemy bait,” too. With harsh definitions like that, it didn’t seem like the best name in the world. But when I asked Niku if she wanted to change it, she told me that she didn’t want to change the first name she had ever been given. Either way, it wasn’t a problem because she would do her best to live up to her name and be my shield in times of need. Uh... Don’t worry, I’m not going to use her as bait or anything like that. She’s too important to me. Doubt I’ll ever find another dakimakura as good as her.

And since I was a Dungeon Master, a little bad publicity came with the business. If she wanted to keep her name, that was fine by me.

“Yeah, I know what it means. Is that a big deal?”

“I see... You gave her that name knowing what it means, huh?” Crash! Wataru hit the table so hard it broke.

It all happened in an instant. I had built the table to be pretty strong, but Wataru split it in two with a single slam of his fist. It collapsed in on itself like a V-shape.

A moment later, I broke out in a cold sweat. Wh-Why the heck did he break the table?! Or so I thought, but Wataru immediately grimaced like he had a made a mistake. And Niku had jumped in front of me protectively with her Golem Knife brandished, glaring at the Hero. Oh geez, this girl’s super cool.

“...I didn’t mean to hit it that hard. I will pay you back for the table. But aren’t you ashamed to hide behind a little girl like this?!”

“...That’ll be five hundred gold coins for the table.” Wataru immediately started stammering after hearing that and asked if he could pay in installments. Heh. Five hundred gold coins get. I’m gonna charge you extra for emotional distress, too.

“Ahem... I didn’t think you were the kind of guy to lay your hands on little girls! I can’t leave Rokuko with you! Don’t get near Haku’s little sister!” What? Lay my hands on her? The hell is this guy saying? He must think that all slaves are sex slaves or something. What a pervy dude.

“All the lolicons I knew followed a strict philosophy of Yes Loli, No Touch. They would never lay their hands on an actual child. In some ways, they were better men than all of us...! Men among men!” What are you even talking about...?! Oh, wait, I guess I technically am touching her. But only as a pillow.

“Master, should I take him down?”

“Nah, we better play it cool. He is a Hero.” Man, Niku’s ready to friggin’ go. She’s one hundred percent confident that she could beat an actual Hero. My little girl sure has grown... sniff...

But anyway. Putting that aside, I gotta deal with this pissed off Hero somehow.

“Y’know, I heard something about you trying to bring Niku to your room, Hero.”

“Wha?! Hey, hey, that wasn’t anything sexual! I just wanted to talk to her about her black hair.”

“I wonder about that... Seems fishy. I’ve heard you’re the kinda guy to propose to a girl the day you meet her.”

“Th-There’s a deep reason for that...! Ngh, nevermind.” Oh? There’s a deep reason for it, huh...?

.........

Did Haku tell him to figure out what kind of relationship Rokuko and I have or something? That would make everything come together. Why he was so calm after getting turned down, why he said he couldn’t “leave” Rokuko to me, why he broke the table, and so on.

Wow. This Hero is Haku’s mole. Which means he might not just be here for a visit. He’s probably trying to find any excuse he can to take Rokuko back to the capital with him. I can already imagine Haku accepting Rokuko home with open arms... maybe even open legs. She might even buy a professional chef to mimic melon rolls. I wouldn’t put it past her to keep Rokuko metaphorically trapped with a room stuffed full of melon rolls. And since I promised Haku I would send the Hero back safe, I can’t take him down myself. Was this seriously all a Haku setup?

Alright, time to counterattack. Just not in a way that’ll end up hurting him.

“Alright. Let’s have a duel.”

“What? A duel? Wait... A duel! You’ll finally duel me?!” Wataru ate the bait in no time.

“That’s exactly what I wanted! I accept! Well, it’ll have to be a duel where we agree not to kill each other, but sure. I think the open area in front of the cave will be a good spot. When will the fight begin? I’m ready now if you’re ready.”

“Wait, wait, wait. I’m obviously not gonna challenge a Hero to a head-on fight, c’mon. Take a look at this.” I showed him a dice. It was a normal, six-sided dice.

“That’s a six-sided dice. Oh, are we going to play a tabletop RPG?! No way, do you have a rulebook here?!”

“Stop jumping to conclusions already, sheesh. Think a little more before you say something.” No way are there tabletop games in this world. C’mon, dude.

...Actually, it might be a good idea to try spreading them around. I can already smell the profit.

“I’m talking about some nice and simple gambling. We get an equal amount of chips and then fight to see who can end up with the most. We can play Tower and Dice, Cee-Lo, Chou-han, or anything like that. Do you know the rules?”

“...I feel like I read about them in some manga a long time ago. I don’t recognize Tower and Dice, though. What are the rules for it?”

“You roll the dice and make a stack of chips as big as the number you rolled. Repeat three times and whoever has the biggest stack of chips wins. And that’s that. It’s a simple numbers game where the best out of three rolls wins. We’ll play ten rounds this time and whoever wins the most chips wins the duel. How about it?”

“That’s simple enough to understand. Let’s do it.”

“You agree to this being our duel, then?”

“Yes.” Wataru nodded. He seemed oddly confident.

“What about the dice? Want the inn to give us some dice?”

“No, I have some dice I found on my own. I may as well use these.” Wataru took some dice out of his nearby bag. He probably found them in our dungeon.

“Okay, let’s decide on the stakes. If I win, you give me a lie detecting magi—actually, never mind that. I’d rather have another five hundred gold coins.”

“Fair enough. If I win, I’m taking Rokuko back to the capital with me. And this girl, too.” Niku glared at the Hero after he pointed at her. Her eyes were saying that she wouldn’t be going anywhere with him. Don’t worry, Niku, I’m not giving you up.

“Woah, now, Rokuko? I’m just her employee, I don’t get to gamble her away. She’s not my slave or anything like that.”

“Wha?! B-But aren’t you partners?!”

“Huh? Are you mistaking me for someone else? I’m Keima. An adventurer she hired.” As long as I pretend to not be Narikin, I can’t gamble Rokuko away even if I wanted to! Rokuko and I may be party members, but we’re not adventuring right now!

“...Or what, can you gamble on Haku’s freedom? You can’t, right?”

“There’s no way I could gamble her!”

“See? Same for me with Rokuko. And you already said you’d be dueling me. No backing out now.”

“Whaaaat?! Th-Then, errr... That girl, and a discount on the table’s repair fee...?”

“...Eh, sure. Niku’s worth way more than five hundred gold coins, but whatever.” I took out the crystal dice I’d be using. They were Golem Dice I had made out of empty potion bottles. Of course, I’d be using them to cheat.

＊ ＊ ＊

“Looks like I won. That’ll be an extra five hundred gold coins, thanks.”

We had dragged in a smaller table than the one Wataru broke and played a game of Tower and Dice. Unsurprisingly, I won.

...But the Hero had some pretty incredible luck, almost always getting at least one 5 and one 6 in each of his three rolls. He had such good luck I started to question if he was cheating. I even checked his dice midway through the game, but it wasn’t fake with only 4s, 5s, and 6s on it or anything like that. It was a completely normal dice exactly like the kind you could find in our dungeon. Nothing suspicious about it at all.

But after intentionally losing and piling on some minor victories, I won anyway by a narrow margin.

“Aaah, so close. Too bad for you.”

“...I-I want a rematch!”

“Hmmm, alright, if you insist. Let’s bet on one thousand gold coins next. It adds up, so you can pay back your whole debt in one go if you win this one!”

“Ngh... No, I’ve got a bad feeling about this. Let’s play again, but gambling one hundred gold coins each this time.”

“Alright, one hundred gold coins.”

＊ ＊ ＊

“Aaah. I lost. Dang, I lost pretty hard. Oh well. That’s one hundred gold coins from me, so you only have to pay me nine hundred now. Congratulations!”

“Th-Thanks.”

We rolled the dice again and I basically got crushed. Yeah... His luck was amazing. He got a 5 and a 6 almost every round. He must be cheating somehow. I played this game without cheating and lost hard. I only won like two rounds.

“Alright, you’re probably satisfied by now, so let’s call it a day.”

“No! Hold on. This time for sure, I’ll save that girl!”

“What? Okay, if you really want to play again, let’s gamble one thousand and four hundred gold coins each. I’m not gonna gamble on Niku while you still owe me money.”

“Alright, let’s do this!”

＊ ＊ ＊

I was honestly starting to feel bad for him, so I decided to end it there.

“Okay, that’ll be two thousand and three hundred gold coins.”

“.........Um, that dice is fake, right?! I don’t know what you’re doing, but you’re obviously cheating somehow!” Wataru came clawing at me with utterly false charges.

“What do you mean, fake? I let you take a good look at it earlier. It’s specifically made of crystal so you can see the inside of it and confirm with your own eyes that it’s just a normal dice.”

“What do you think the chances of getting nothing but 1s or 6s each time are?!” Considering the fact the fact that this dice always lands on the side I pour mana into before rolling it, I’d say one hundred percent.

“I could ask you the same thing, oh great and mighty Hero. What’re the chances of getting at least two 5s or above literally every round? My good luck probably has something to do with your good luck.”

“But the {Ultra Good Fortune: Level 1} skill I got from the god is a unique skill only I have... The only way something could beat it is... ah! You are a Japanese person who got summoned here, aren’t you?!” Friggin’ Wataru had a skill like that...? Whew, I never would have won if I fought him fairly. I guess I should have expected a Hero to have some kind of cheat skill like that. Other than the auto translator. Too bad for him that he told me about it all on his own. That saves me a lot of trouble.

“My powers only come into effect when I’m protecting my friends. That’s why they ended up stronger than yours.”

“S-So that’s how it works...” Wataru nodded to himself as if it all made sense. And hey, I’m not lying. I would have gambled fairly if Niku hadn’t been on the line.

“And here’s the other reason I wasn’t worried about this duel. Hey, Niku. This is an order. Tell me honestly whether you dislike being my slave or not. Don’t hide anything.”

“Understood. Master treats me very well and I’m living a very, very fulfilled life. If I ended up separated from Master I would fight to the death, unless Master ordered me to go.” Niku let it all out without hesitating for a moment.

“Ummm, er, is that true? Your master doesn’t hurt you or anything?”

“He does not. Master saved me.” Wataru looked between Niku and I, mulling over the word saved. He seemed to have figured something out.

“Well, there you have it. That’s the last freebie I’m giving you, so yeah. Do you know why you lost now?”

“...Um, two thousand and three hundred gold coins is a bit much, don’t you think?”

“You better pay up. Nobody forced you to take those gambles.” He was summoned three years ago when he was seventeen, which makes him twenty now. That makes him a legal adult in Japan. Yeah, I’m not letting him off easy here. That many gold coins would be worth over two billion yen, which would take a normal Japanese person multiple lifetimes to pay back, but he’s an S-Rank adventurer here. He’ll be able to pay me back easily if he works a little hard.

“Like I said, you can pay in installments if you want. Pay one hundred golds a month and it’ll take a year and eleven months. You’ll be done before two years are up. Simple, right?”

“Eugh... That’d be completely impossible if I weren’t an S-Rank adventurer, seriously...”

“As a favor to Haku, I won’t charge you any interest. Be grateful that I’m not threatening to use this debt to enslave you.”

“...Right. Thanks so much...” It’d be impossible if you WEREN’T an S-Rank, huh? That means you can pay it back. Good luck, Hero.

For safety’s sake I had him sign a contract guaranteeing that he would pay us one hundred gold coins a month for next year and eleven months. Go forth, my piggybank, and complete countless valuable quests fit for an S-Rank adventurer. Ask Haku to introduce you to some high-paying jobs if you have to!

“By the way, this isn’t counting the table fee.” The Hero was close to tears. Yeah, maybe squeezing two billion yen out of him is a bit much. That thought crossed my mind while picking up the chips and dice off the table, but I shook it off after seeing the broken table. Fixing things is annoying, even if {Create Golem} does make it easy. I’ve gotta redraw the furnishing and everything, not to mention making it even more sturdy.

“But if you care about your friends enough to have a skill like that, Keima, why did you name this girl Niku?” Wataru looked at me with a confused expression on his face.

“She likes the name. And that’s what her name was when I found her.”

“But still, leaving her with a lewd name like this is a bit...”

“Huh? A lewd name...? Doesn’t it just mean like, meat shield and stuff? That’s what I was told.” The Hero smacked his forehead after hearing that.

“Ahhh... I get it now. I knew something was up here. The word is generally only used like that towards male adventurers. When used towards small girls like this one, especially cute ones, it means something totally different. Well, it’s slang and can get pretty different depending on where you are, but still.” Hm. Interesting.

“...Alright, let’s hear it. What does ‘niku’ mean when it comes to girls?”

“Master, ‘niku’ refers to tools and things. Like shields, walls, and so on.” I asked the Hero, but for some reason, Niku responded instead. Yeah, that’s what Ichika told me too.

“...Aaah, er... That’s not quite right either. It does mean meat shield and so on for men, but uh, when it comes to women, er... it means like, a sexual tool.”

...I looked at Niku. She averted her gaze.

“And using it to mean ‘sexual tool’ is very common. Almost anyone will think of ‘sex slave’ if they see a girl being called a niku.”

“Hey. Niku.”

“Umm... Ichika told me that it meant a girl who takes care of her master at night.”

“Geh. Alright. Niku, bring Ichika to my room. I’ve got something to talk about with you two.”

“U-Understood.” Niku dashed off on her short legs to get Ichika.

Having seen all that, the Hero timidly asked me something.

“...Er, what are you going to do with them?”

“Ask them what’s up and depending on the answer, punish them. Might give them a good spanking or something.”

“Oh, that’s pretty nice of you. I’m glad to hear you’re not going to sell or murder them.” I wouldn’t do anything like that. Niku and Ichika are invaluable to this inn and the dungeon.

“Aaah. Guess I gotta give her a new name.”

“That’d be for the best, I think.”

...I wonder what kind of name I should give her. I don’t really want to change it from Niku... but I’m not planning on using her as a “sexual tool” or anything like that, so...

In any case, I successfully got the Hero out of his room, warding off his questions about whether or not I’m actually from Japan. He was still curious despite his massive debt of two thousand and three hundred gold coins. I’ll get some helper Golem to carry out this broken table. I’m sure Kinue would love to clean this up.

When I went back to my room, I saw Niku and Ichika prostrating in front of me. Or rather, below me. They were right beside each other, on their knees with their heads lowered.

“I-I’m sorry, Master...”

“I’m super duper totally sorryyy!”

“Alriiight. You can lift your heads up for now. First, I wanna know how things ended up like this.” Despite me saying that, Niku kept her head lowered, which meant I was stuck talking to Ichika who had lifted her head while awkwardly laughing.

“Weelll, ummm, ’kay. I knew what ‘niku’ actually meant. I totally did. But like, I couldn’t really go around saying it. I mean, I’m a girl. It’d be super embarrassing, and liiike, you know, I used to be called a ‘niku’ at my old place, sooo...”

“Didn’t I tell you to warn me when I’m misunderstanding things?”

“...Buuut I totally thought you knew already, Master. ’Cause like, you were bringing Niku to your room every night, and you kept talking about her being your dakimakura, how she’s taking care of you at night... I thought for sure you knew what her name meant.” Ngh. Yeah, I’m pretty sure I said things like that when Rokuko wanted to barge into my room too. And even though I’m just using Niku as a pillow, I definitely am sleeping in the same bed as her every night.

After a moment’s pause, Niku timidly lifted her head.

“...I knew that you wouldn’t make a mistake, Master. So... I wanted to do my best as a niku...”

“R-Really. Well, uh... Alright. I’ll just have to give you a new name now.”

“A-A new... name...?”

“What name do you want? I’m open to requests.”

“I want to keep my name.” Yeah, that’s not the kind of request I was looking for. I sent Ichika a glance, requesting her help.

“...She’s a beastkin, dude. Names are important to beastkin... especially, like, the first name they’re ever given. Niku, you can’t remember your original name, right?”

“Right. Because my name is Niku.” Niku spoke with pride in her voice. I’m, uh, I’m impressed she’s so proud of her name even though she knows what it actually means.

“Errr, so, about your new name.”

“I don’t want to change my name.” Niku responded immediately. Aaah... I can already tell she’s not gonna listen no matter what I say. She’s got that determined look in her eyes. What a paaain.

“...Alright then, I’ll just give you a last name. How about Kuroinu? It means ‘black dog’ in my language.” I decided to give her a nice and innocent last name that wouldn’t give anyone pause.

“Niku Kuroinu.”

“Yup. I’ll call you Kuro for short in front of people.”

“And you’ll call me Niku when we’re alone?”

“...Eh, sure. If only Rokuko, Ichika, or other people we know are around, sure.” I rubbed Niku’s head. She looked really relieved that she wouldn’t be losing her name. She must really like it. Guess I should go to the Guild and update her name tomorrow. It’ll cost thirty silvers, but thanks to a certain gullible Hero, we have plenty of leeway with money now.

“Okay. I’m a human too. I don’t know everything, and I make mistakes. I’d really appreciate it if you’d point out when I’m misunderstanding something.”

“...Understood.”

“Alrighty dude. You can count on me.”

“I’m partially at fault here, so... yeah, no punishment for either of you.”

“Wheeew... Er, what kinda punishment were you thinking of, anyway?”

“I was planning on making you two wear knee socks, or maybe loose socks. Of course, you’d be forbidden from using {Purification} on them, and you’d be wearing them for about three days straight. And naturally I’d have you wear loafers while working, and sneakers while exercising or what have you.”

“That’s just you being maximum horny!”

Heh heh heh. What a fearsome punishment. Though only fellow foot fetishists can really appreciate how fearsome it really is.

“Oh yeah, and you’d each have to give me a foot-stomping massage daily for about a month. There’d be a ban on gambling, too, and I’d lower the quality of your food to what’s standard in this world. No more hamburgers.” Niku and Ichika both paled in horror.

“Geez, that sure was close. That kind of punishment would totally kill me...”

“Th-That’s Master for you... S-Scary...”

...They were even shaking in fear. Are knee socks really that scary?

# Wataru’s Perspective

Wataru Nishimi was a Hero. But even so, two thousand and three hundred gold coins was a little... no, was pretty... no, was extremely rough for him. So, he canceled his stay in the grand suite and started getting cheaper food. Haku was paying for his stay, but having no other choice, he shifted to using those funds to help pay Keima back.

...Embezzlement? No, it was just using funds where they were needed. A-And I’ll tell her about it later.

But despite switching to a cheaper room, Wataru didn’t have any problems at all. In fact, he quite liked his new futon. So much so that he even decided to stay in a cheaper room from the start if he ever came to the inn again. Plus, he could still enter the onsen as much as he wanted, not to mention the recreation building. He’d want to visit again just to experience the onsen. Forget about the dungeon.

“...But man, being in debt sure is rough... Haaah...” Wataru sighed to himself while eating cream stew in the cafeteria.

“Oh? What’s wrong, friend?”

“Ah, hello. Mister... uhhh, Dwarf?”

“I’m Gozou. Thank ye for the purin yesterday. So, what’s having you sigh all over the place?”

“Ah. I’m Wataru. Err, well, some things happened. Aaand now I’m in debt.” Wataru laughed and smiled slightly to hide his sorrow.

“Are ya now? That’s one fall from fortune. I’m guessing that happened after you took Keima to your room? What the heck went on in there?”

“Hahaha, well, this should tell you all you need to know.” Wataru showed him his dice. He rolled it around in his hand a bit. It landed on a 6.

“I’m a little confident when it comes to gambling, but well, luck wasn’t on my side this time.”

“Watch yourself, man. You’ll ruin yourself if you’re not careful. Y’know the receptionist here, Ichika? She got turned into a slave ’cause she piled on gambling debts. Though looks like she’s pretty happy workin’ here despite all that.”

“Ahaha. I’ll be careful.” Wataru forced a smile. If he weren’t an S-Rank adventurer, a two thousand and three hundred gold coin debt would already be enough to ruin him. He’d be a slave for sure. Never in his dreams did he expect to get bundled with so much debt in less than an hour of rolling dice. Gambling is scary. So, so scary.

“But Keima, huh? I’ve never actually seen him gambling before... Between you and me, I go way back with Keima. I could ask for a favor and see if I could get him to lessen your debt a bit if you need me to.”

“Hahaha, thank you, but I think I’ll be fine. He told me I didn’t have to worry about paying back interest, so yeah. I should be able to manage.”

“Oooh, really now? That’s good t’hear.” Gozou took a chug from his mug of beer as he spoke.

“Oh, is that beer? I thought that this inn didn’t sell beer.”

“Ye heard right. I bought this from a passing merchant. The inn doesn’t deal with beer itself, but there’s no rules against bringing your own in. Long as you don’t get drunk and break anything, that is. Hm... Want some? Ye did treat us to those purins yesterday.”

“Sure, I’ll have some. Thanks.”

In truth, Wataru had never drunk beer before. He had been summoned to this world when he was seventeen, and in Japan it was illegal to smoke or drink alcohol until you were twenty. But thinking about it, Wataru was already that old. There was no problem with him drinking, he just had never been given a good opportunity to do so.

Wataru took the beer mug from Gozou and took a swig. It was thick and smelled strongly of alcohol, but Wataru didn’t dislike it.

“Whew, laddie. That was a good swig.”

“I’ve never had beer before, but this is actually pretty good.”

“Never had beer before, eh? Hrm, ye might be a natural. Go ahead, lad, drink up. I’ll just drag ya outside if ye start goin’ wild.”

“...I think I’ll take you up on that offer. Thanks.”

“Anytime. Nothing’s so bad that drinking beer won’t make you feel better.” Gozou took out another beer-filled mug and took a swig.

After the two of them drank together for a while, Gozou’s partner Roppe came inside. Gozou was a dwarf, but Roppe was a human female.

“Oh, a drinking party, huh! Haven’t seen you around these parts, boy. You a newbie?”

“I’m Wataru Nishimi. A Hero.”

“Yer a Hero? Color me surprised.”

“A Hero?! That makes you an S-Rank, doesn’t it? Wooow. You were drinking with him and you didn’t know that...? Here, I’ve got some too!” Roppe took out her own mug and started drinking too. For better or worse, there was nobody to stop them.

“Wha?! Two thousand and three hundred gold coins?! He sure wrung you dry, huh?”

“Yeah, he did! Keima’s a monster! A demon! Friggin’ Keima!”

“Woah now, yer bein’ rude there. A demon woulda let you off after just fifty gold.”

“Ngh... I’m gonna have to work hard for half a year to pay this back...”

“Woah?! You’re actually gonna pay it back?! Wow, S-Ranks are amazing!” Roppe exclaimed

“Hey, if I pulled out all the stops and did every job possible, I could pay it back in a month! I won’t do that since I’d make enemies, though.”

“Good call, ye don’t want to go around making enemies. Anyway, friend, drink up. This is all on me today.”

“Thank yooou!” Wataru drunk down all the beer Gozou put in front of him.

“Hey, hey, Wataru. What in the world did you do to Keima anyway? A debt that big just isn’t normal.”

“Haha, wellll, it was just a little mistake... You know that dog-eared girl who was working in this cafeteria yesterday? It had something to do with her.”

“Aaah, that little girl. Yer not a fan of that kinda thing, then?”

“Hahaha, yeah, pretty much. Just thinking about a little girl like her being enslaved and suffering made me want to save her. You know what I mean? As a man, I felt like it was my duty to help her.”

“Wooow! You’re so cool, Wataru. But sorry, you really shouldn’t do that kind of thing. Slaves are the legal property of their owners. And that girl’s, like, completely head over heels for Keima. She’s fine being his slave.”

“Seems so... Haaah. I stuck my head where it didn’t belong and got a two thousand and three hundred gold coin debt as thanks. Haaah... That’s 23,000,000 Lyons...”

“Alright, it’s settled. Drink up! It’s all on me today. There’s plenty of beer left!”

“Thank yooooou!” Wataru kept drinking all the beer Gozou set out. He drained his mug dry and slapped it onto the table with a satisfied, groggy nod.

“Hey, Gozou, shouldn’t we just head to Kantara’s place? You’re talking about how much beer you have left, but isn’t it all at the smithery? And we can be a lot more festive over there than here.”

“Oooh! You’re pretty smart, Roppe! ’Scuse me, Kinue! Bring out all the best snacks you got. C’mon, Wataru! We’re going to the smithery!”

“I’ll follow you to the end of the world, Gozou!”

“Kinue, girl, here’s some money to cover the bill. Would you mind bringing the snacks to the smithery?”

“That won’t be a problem at all. I’ll have Rei bring them to you. I imagine fried potatoes will be acceptable?”

“The crispier the better. Thanks!”

And so, the three of them found themselves great friends in the midst of all their drinking and Wataru’s complaining. They would later form a party called “Team Bacchus” that would travel across the world, but that’s another story. As an aside, their main objective would be to spread the joy of drinking beer throughout the world. Conquering dungeons? That was a side thing.

＊ ＊ ＊

Wataru woke up the next day completely refreshed, having no hangover whatsoever.

“Maaan, I had no idea that beer tasted so good.” Perhaps due to his natural endurance, or perhaps due to his buffed strength as a Hero, he didn’t have to worry about drinking too much and waking up trashed. He could count on waking up feeling totally fine, which was a good thing since he planned on going to the [Cave of Greed] again. He thankfully wouldn’t have to postpone his trip due to a hangover.

Also, it was about time for him to return home—however briefly—so this was the last day that he could thoroughly explore the dungeon. He intended to go as far as he could.

“...Time to get started.” Wataru put on his Hero equipment and headed for the dungeon.

The Hero Wataru entered the dungeon. He quickly passed through the first floor and entered the labyrinth area. Normally, he’d spend the rest of the day exploring the labyrinth, but this time he passed through it as well and finally reached the puzzle area.

“Okay. Nobody’s gotten past this floor yet. It’s all unexplored territory from here on out. I’ve gotta be careful.” Despite there being no one around to hear him, Wataru murmured to himself and glared at the door in front of him. It was a puzzle door. In this world they were known as [Gates of Wisdom], and Wataru knew them very well.

“...Okay, this one’s math. Looks like some simple multiplication and division will do the trick.”

He conquered the first gate.

“Oh man, this match stick puzzle reminds me of Japanese quiz shows. I just gotta flip this triangle upside down, I think.”

He conquered the second gate.

“Aaah, this is a pretty famous riddle. In my world, at least. ‘A hole in a bucket.’ Yeah.”

He conquered the third gate.

“...Er, is it just ‘simple’?”

He conquered the fourth gate, and thus all the gates in the puzzle area.

I guess that was a little hard, Wataru thought to himself, not knowing that Haku would probably headbutt him if she heard him say that. And so, he reached the spiral staircase area. The Guild had absolutely no information on this area or any area following it. Keima might have known something, since he had apparently gotten further into the dungeon than anyone else, but Wataru found it hard to ask for help from someone he owed a debt to.

In this world, it was normal and expected to hide information if it benefited you. Asking someone to reveal that information would be indebting yourself to them. In Wataru’s case, he couldn’t afford any more debt. Of course, information related to conquering a dungeon was no exception. Excluding any information related to extremely deadly traps, that is, such as one that would lock people in a room unless they return a Magic Blade to its pedestal. The Guild would buy that kind of information and publicize it. They didn’t want adventurer after adventurer walking to their deaths, after all. That would only hurt their organization.

The spiral staircase area was like a giant vertical cylinder with a spiral staircase in the middle. Wataru peered down the center and saw the floor.

“...Looks like the center’s a hole straight down to the floor. Maybe just jumping down would be faster?”

The thought crossed his mind, but he tossed it out after seeing that the floor was so distant he’d break his legs if he tried.

He descended the staircase, taking a close look at each step on his careful way down. When he reached the halfway point, a wall suddenly jutted outwards. However...

“Woah, that’s dangerous.” So he said, but the wall wasn’t actually that dangerous to Wataru, so much so that he avoided it by nimbly jumping on top of it. He thought about how he would’ve been pushed into the center had he been a little slower, and thus finally realized why the center of the staircase was a big hole. Not that his realization particularly changed anything.

After reaching the bottom of the stairs, he encountered a new area that felt sectioned off from the rest. It reminded him a lot of historic ruins left behind by past human civilizations. He advanced into it while checking for traps and soon came across a room, which he entered. There was a treasure chest in the room.

“Oh, a treasure chest! Heheheh. I wonder what’s in this baby. I hope it’s some manga or something...!” Wataru had hoped that the chest would contain something from another world—that is, from Japan—but all he found within it was a sword. He was a little disappointed, but upon closer examination, he saw that it had a magic stone embedded within it.

“Ah, right, I remember people talking about finding Magic Blades in this dungeon. Mmm, I guess it sharpens a lot when you pour mana into it? Not that great, but it should help with my debt... I wish it had been something from Japan, though.”

Within the hierarchy of Magic Blades, those that sharpened themselves were among the worst. Higher tier blades would have much more powerful spell effects. To an S-Rank Hero, this Magic Blade was just a third-rate piece of equipment that at best would help pay back a little of his debt. Ironic, considering how desperate he would have been for something like it back when he was a C-Rank.

He advanced onwards, defeating Iron Golems as they came, and found more Magic Blades within other rooms. They all had the same sharpening effect. He was putting them and the corpses of the Iron Golems into his Space-Time Magic {Storage}, but it was filling up fast.

“Maybe I should’ve emptied it out a little before here... Wait, nah. I adventure alone, I need all my equipment all the time. Nothing I can do about that.”

After finding about twenty Magic Blades lying around, he stumbled upon stairs leading downwards. He considered turning back for the day, but he wasn’t just feeling fine—he was feeling great. Worst case scenario, he could take out the Iron Golem corpses and replace them with something more valuable. With that in mind, Wataru decided to go ahead and check out the next floor.

# Keima’s Perspective

I know I’m intentionally holding back here, but it doesn’t feel great to see him crushing our dungeon like this. Nothing I can do about it, though. If I killed him with an insta-death trap Haku would be pissed, and he’s so strong that summoning monsters powerful enough to fight back would just be a huge waste of DP. I mean, holy cow, he cuts Iron Golems in half without even trying. What’s up with that?

I had hoped that he would get stuck at the “Four Room Hallway of Puzzle Doom,” but he crushed it in no time too. It was really just bad luck. I swapped out the puzzles regularly, and it just so happened that today’s puzzles were easier than normal... Okay, yeah, that’s just a lame excuse. Sorry. The subsequent spiral staircase area was filled with Wall Golem traps that more than made up for the lack of enemies. Getting hit by one of those and falling down the middle would lead to broken legs at best. Most people would just turn into a red splat on the ground... but he got past them like they were nothing. Dammit. This is the first time anyone’s gotten this far and none of it’s working. Maybe I should rethink this area a little.

In any case, Wataru was actually a fairly skilled adventurer. I shifted gears into loading the next area with treasure to hopefully encourage him to head home faster. Also, although I had made a bunch of unique and cool Golems to wander around this storeroom area, I didn’t want Wataru to see anything he didn’t have to see. I replaced them all with normal Golems. Yep. Splitting them right in two. Those are some cleaaan cuts.

“You sure are putting a lot of Magic Blades out today.”

“Yep. This is the first time anyone’s reached the storeroom. I want him to get tons of stuff and spread the word when he gets back. Free advertising.” With the lower tier Magic Blades our dungeon was producing, I don’t think we’ll have to worry about any particularly High-Rank adventurers being drawn in.

“He’s killed a lot of Iron Golems by now, so his {Storage} should be filling up soon... wait, what? Did I put that staircase there?” After watching Wataru wander around for a bit, he suddenly started climbing down a staircase I had never seen before. Uh... What’s with this staircase?

“Eh? No, I made it... oh, riiight! I forgot all about this ’cause the Hero came, but I made the next area of the dungeon!” Ah. Aaaah. I forgot about that, too. I let Rokuko make the next area... Right...

“...So, what kind of area did you make?”

“Heh heh, juuust wait and see! It’s super cool and revolutionary! This will prove that I can be just as creative and clever as you, Keima!”

The timing was pretty much perfect, so I decided to just watch Wataru go through the floor and see what would happen.

# Wataru’s Perspective

Wataru went down the stairs and was greeted by a floor of magma. It radiated such heat that it felt like his skin was starting to burn.

“...The atmosphere of this place sure changed in no time.” The sea of magma was dotted with flat, floating rocks to use as stepping stones. If he accidentally stepped in the magma, his boots would burn through in an instant despite being a pair of magic tools.

“This is a volcano and there is an onsen, so this kinda makes sense. Guess this is like... a natural sauna or something.” In reality, the magma was so hot that it’d melt flesh and bones in no time, but Wataru was a Hero. It wasn’t that much of a threat to him. He manipulated his mana to form a shell-like barrier around his body. Now, he’d be fine for about thirty seconds even if he slipped and fell head-first into the magma. But that would drain a lot of mana, so he advanced carefully, measuring each step.

“Screeee!”

“Huh?” He heard the screeing of a bird. He glanced around and saw a small white bird flying straight toward him like a dart.

Wataru held up his sword and the bird flew straight into it. With a smack, it bounced off the blade and fell into the magma. He wondered what kind of bird it had been, but it was already engulfed in fire, so he ignored it and looked around for monsters or whatever Golems might have been lurking around. But he couldn’t sense any monsters other than the little bird burning alive behind him. Naturally, though, he wouldn’t be able to notice an immobile Golem hiding its presence.

...Guess I’ll keep going.

But the moment Wataru took his next step, something hit him lightly on the back.

“What?! Woah, that was close!” He almost lost his footing, but he managed to keep his balance. Turning around, he saw the still-burning bird flapping its wings.

“A fire bird... oh, a Phoenix! I get it, he wasn’t burning because of the magma, he’s been burning the whole time!”

“Scree!” The little bird... the Phoenix crashed into him again, but without the element of surprise, it couldn’t do much. Wataru cut it down while thinking about what a rare monster it was. The Phoenix let out a pitiful cry and was engulfed by flames.

...But seconds later, it revived again and came back fighting. Wataru, surprised by how fast it had revived, cut it down again. Undeterred, the Phoenix repeatedly revived and kept coming back for more. It was incredibly weak, but the cool down time between revivals was short and killing it wasn’t accomplishing anything. However...

“Ah! Maybe I could get some materials from it? Kantara was talking about wanting some rare flame-resistant materials! Heck yeah!”

“Scree?!” As if sensing some kind of danger, the Phoenix flew away from Wataru.

“Sheesh. You’re lucky you’re smart,” murmured Wataru. In truth, he wouldn’t know how to harvest materials from a bird that caught fire when it died, so he was stuck anyway. Deciding to research more on the subject before returning to the dungeon, Wataru got back to advancing through the floor.

Some of the stepping stones broke along the way, but he somehow managed to reach the end of the floor. Before him was a door. He pulled it open and was greeted with a red hot cave very similar to the one he was already in. The floors weren’t made of lava, but he could already see Red Lizards and Magma Slimes all over the place.

Seems like this is where things get serious.

# Keima’s Perspective

I was holding my head in my hands.

“Am I right?! Totally revolutionary! I got him out of the dungeon!”

“It’s so revolutionary I really wanna smack you. Can I? Just one good smack on the head. It’ll be fine.”

“But why?! Also, I don’t know what would be so fine about that!”

Rokuko’s area was centered around the floor being lava. If it ended there, it wouldn’t be so bad. The collapsing stepping stones were actually pretty good.

Also, to be clear, I wasn’t even that upset by Phenny being the only monster in the whole area. He was probably the only monster she could actually use. We could add more later.

The problem was the door at the end. It led outside of our dungeon... or to be more clear, it connected directly to the [Flame Caverns]. Probably around the fifteenth floor, judging by its location in the mountain.

“...Why does it connect to the [Flame Caverns]?!”

“So it’ll be easier for Phenny to go and play there? Redra gave me permission, you know.”

“You getting permission first is the only good thing about this.” Though if she had made that door without permission, they would have come complaining and I could’ve noticed before it was too late.

“...Also, why is Phenny the only monster there?”

“This whole floor is for Phenny. It’s his home. And once I save up enough DP, I’ll make another floor and summon a Dragon for it!”

Apparently, Rokuko made her area a big pet house. Is... Is this really the dungeon you want, Rokuko?

# Wataru’s Perspective

He pumped himself up and kept advancing into the dungeon. The first thing he found was a staircase going up. After hours of exploration and climbing so many staircases he actually lost count, he found himself beneath a big open sky. The sun was falling, indicating that he had been underground for a very long time.

Wataru the Hero spun around, looking in all directions.

“......Light? Huh? Is this an exit? What?”

He took some steps away from the dungeon and looked around the area again. Apparently, he was on top of Tsia Mountain. Tsia City was visible in the distance, and the Dancing Doll Inn right by the [Cave of Greed’s] entrance was even closer. There was a forest between them, but as a Hero, he could run back in no time at all. Especially since he’d be running downhill.

“This doesn’t look like an illusion or anything. I guess I really am outside... What is this place? Does the dungeon have two entrances?” Deciding to report this to the Guild, Wataru headed down the mountain to the inn. He raced down the grumbling side of the mountain. It would only take a brief run since he knew where he was going.

Wataru got through the forest and reached the [Cave of Greed] from above. Coincidentally, he emerged right by Kantara’s smithery, where Gozou was drinking some beer. Wataru shook his head at how he was still drinking, but at the same time decided to join him later.

“Oh? Look at you, Wataru. Weren’t you headin’ to the dungeon? What were you doin’ on top of the mountain?”

“Hello, Gozou. There was another entrance over there... by the mountain peak, I mean.”

“The peak...? I’m only sayin’ this cause you’re an S-Rank, but I’m pretty sure that’s the entrance to the [Flame Caverns]. ’Nother dungeon entirely. Pretty old one, too.”

“The [Flame Caverns]? It’s not a part of the [Cave of Greed]?”

“Pretty sure it ain’t... But, eh, there’s lots we don’t know about dungeons and there’ve been cases like this before. Who knows what might be goin’ on in that mountain.”

“This isn’t a new thing?”

“Yeah, I’ve heard of nearby dungeons connectin’ here and there before. Most famous example I can think of is the [Ivory Labyrinth] by the capital. Part of it connects to the [Ivory Cave] nearby.”

“I see. That makes sense to me.”

“So, anyway. How far’d you get in that dungeon?”

“Right. I reached some new territory. I don’t know when things turned into the [Flame Caverns], but at some point there was like, a magma floor.”

“Oooh, really now! That’s an S-Rank for ya! Did, uh... Did ye find any beer in there?”

“Unfortunately not. Ah, but I did find some Magic Blades.”

“Ohoooh, well count me jealous.”

“Speaking of which, wasn’t Kantara researching Magic Blades? Think I should give him one? I found twenty in there.”

“Twenty?! That’s way too much! Heeey, Kantara! Wataru said he’d give you a Magic Blade! Let’s drink tonight in celebration!”

Wataru swallowed hard in excitement at the thought of getting to drink again.

“A-Anyway, I’ll go on ahead and report this to the Guild! Wait until I come back to celebrate, okay?! Promise?!”

“Gahaha, you’re gonna be the star of the celebration! Don’t worry, just hurry on back.” Wataru rushed to the Guild.

After reporting to the Guild, Wataru decided to sell the Magic Blades to them in order to help pay back his debt.

“...And after that, I left what I believe to be the [Flame Caverns]. Here are the Magic Blades I found. There’s nineteen here, but there was another exactly like them; I gave it to Kantara, the blacksmith. I would like to sell the others to the Guild.”

“...Yes, certainly.”

In many ways, Wataru’s report and lineup of Magic Blades were very positive. He had explored parts of the dungeon no one had reached before, discovered that at some point the [Cave of Greed] connected to the [Flame Caverns], and along the way discovered twenty Magic Blades. Every part of his trip had been a success.

“So, how much will all that information be worth?”

“Twenty silvers, as is the standard. Would you like to sell the Magic Blades through an auction?”

“...I feel like putting up nineteen identical ones at once would hurt their value, so just ten. I’ll sell the other nine directly to you for two gold each. Once some time has passed, you can auction them off as well. Ah, and can I get the money immediately?” That got him eighteen gold, and his cut of the auctions would bring him to about forty gold in total.

...That was far off from his debt of two thousand and three hundred gold, but it was equivalent to about forty million yen. It felt pretty insane from that perspective. But more insane than that was Keima, who was actually demanding that he pay back a debt over fifty times that size.

Either way, Wataru decided to celebrate with Kantara that night and then head back to the Imperial Capital the next day. The celebration will not be detailed. Suffice to say, it was the perfect kind of beer: The kind that didn’t give him a hangover.

＊ ＊ ＊

“Okay, I think I’ll say goodbye to Rokuko and the others.” He headed to the inn’s front desk.

...Sitting there was the female magician he had gotten to know quite well over the past few days, Neruneh.

“Awww, you’re already going hooome?! Nnn, but I wanted to talk to you about magic some moooore.”

“Hahaha, I’ll come visit again. Is Rokuko here?”

“Ah, yeees. I’ll go get heeeer.” Wataru waited while Neruneh went off to get Rokuko. Eventually, Rokuko came over looking pleased.

“I heard you’re leaving? Say hi to my sister for me, Wataru.”

“Yep. So, did I help out any?”

“Mmm, pretty much! Thanks to you, my partner’s gonna give me a ring.”

Wataru and Rokuko had made a deal. It all happened after Wataru asked Rokuko to become his partner.

“...Will you become my partner?”

“Eh? No way. I already have a partner.”

Rokuko’s response made Wataru realize that his request had been interpreted as a confession. He hurriedly corrected the misunderstanding.

“...Ah! No, sorry. I meant that as in a research partner. Not a romantic partner or anything.”

“...Hm? Really? Well, okay then.”

“Please help me research a way back to Japan! I just noticed, but the clothes you’re wearing right now have nylon in them, right?!”

“Nylon? What’s that?”

“It’s a synthetic fiber made from oil, a burnable black liquid...! Ahhh, I can’t believe I’m seeing nylon fabric in this world...!”

“Aaah, this dress? My partner found it in the dungeon for me. Aha, isn’t it wonderful?”

Indeed. Wataru the Hero had discovered the Japanese fabric in her dress with his bare eyes. He had been staring at her clothes specifically as a subconscious reaction to the fabric. Not because he wanted to stare at Rokuko’s butt. He just couldn’t see any other part of her clothes due to her long hair.

However, he would never say that Rokuko’s butt wasn’t attractive.

“It certainly looks good on you. Hmmm... So you can find nylon fabric in this dungeon too. I had heard rumors, but this is really impressive... I hope your partner can help me with my research too. He must be a pretty great adventurer, right?”

“...Aaaah, well, um, he has gotten further into this dungeon than anyone else. He found that massage chair over there in the dungeon too.”

“Ohhh, this too...?” He wanted to dissect it, but Rokuko shut him down since it was so valuable. He hadn’t even said anything. It must have been that obvious what he wanted to do.

“Ngh, guess I’ll just ask your partner to help me with the dungeon... Can I talk to him?”

“Mmm, let’s see. I can set up a meeting between you two, but I want something in return.”

“Errr, okay, how about I buy you a meal? I can get you the one that costs five gold.”

“I own this inn, I can eat anything we sell for free.” Makes sense, thought Wataru. There wasn’t much he could offer to someone he had just met. Or at least, he couldn’t know what it was she wanted.

“...Okay. Is there anything you’re worried about or struggling with? I can help you out.”

“Worried about? Mmm, nothing really...”

“Er, it could be anything! Like... Is everything okay between you and your partner?!” Wataru was just grasping at straws, but Rokuko seemed to realize something from that.

“Okay then. I want to get closer to my partner, so do what I say.”

“Wha?”

“I’m going to tell him that you confessed to me and invited him to dinner with us!”

“Huh?! Wh-What?!”

“Okay, it’s settled. See you in a sec!”

...And that’s how it happened. As a result, Rokuko ended up telling Keima that he had fallen in love with her, and his roundabout story of failed love (a disguised way of saying “I’ve lost trust in women and couldn’t confess to Rokuko even if I wanted to”) fell on deaf ears, so ultimately he didn’t learn as much about the dungeon as he’d like.

“...But uh, I kinda ended up with a massive debt thanks to all this.”

“Eh? I didn’t have anything to do with that.”

“...That’s true.” Rokuko certainly had nothing to do with it. Although the setup had led to him developing a “rivalry” with Narikin, to him, Keima was supposed to be an entirely different person. He knew for sure that they were the same person, but he couldn’t argue if told otherwise due to his position.

“Ah, you can probably just have Haku pay back your debt. I wouldn’t worry about it too much.”

“I do want to see Gozou and Neruneh again, so I think I’ll be coming here again eventually. I’d rather not bother Haku too much if I can help it.” Feel free not to come back, Rokuko muttered to herself.

“Oh, right. That reminds me. I have some letters from Haku.” Wataru took out two letters from his {Storage}.

“...Shouldn’t you have shown us those when you got here?”

“She told me to wait until I left. And she also said to read this thinner one first.” It was a letter with a red wax seal. The seal had the Laverio Empire’s crest imprinted on it. As only the imperial family were permitted to use that crest, the seal itself was particularly valuable on its own and considered by many to be a symbol of honor.

Rokuko took that letter and tore apart the wax seal to take out the letter and read it. Wataru thought that was a waste at first, but then remembered that Rokuko was Haku’s little sister anyway.

“Geh... Uwaaah... Okay, that’s that. Thank you.” Rokuko’s faced clouded over. The letter had definitely not been a positive one.

“Well, see you later.”

“Say hi to my sister for me.”

“Sure. Oh, and just ask if you want my help again.”

“I’ll give you a discount on your room fee next time if I do. Maybe like five coppers off.”

And so, Wataru the Hero left to return to the Imperial Capital. As an aside, Keima told Haku everything that had happened from his perspective, so she forced Wataru into doing all sorts of ridiculously dangerous jobs that were deadly even to an S-Rank adventurer, but that’s another story.

# Keima’s Perspective

“Haku sent us some letters. Here, take them before I forget.”

“Hm?” Rokuko pulled two letters out from the chest of her shirt and handed them to me. They were warm. Guess I’ll read the opened one first. Leeet’s see here...

“There will be a Soldier of God heading your way very soon. I suggest preparing yourself. You can kill this one if you want.” That was all the first letter said.

“...Another friggin’ Hero! So many Heroes! Sheesh!”

“I know how you feel. Like, I’m definitely not happy about this either.”

“Hahaha, Haku said I can kill him ’cause he’s not her pawn this time... What a lady. Ahhhh. This is a pain. I wanna sleep, but I feel like I’ll actually have to prepare hardcore for this one...”

“Mmm, well, um... At least we have my floor of the dungeon now!”

“...Yeah, time for me to get to work.”

“Are you making fun of me? You don’t mind if I hit you, right? Just once?”

“You’re gonna hit me even though I worked up the motivation to do things? C’mon...”

Suddenly, Ittetsu contacted me and said he wanted to talk. This timing seems pretty calculated. Wait, actually, he probably just waited for Wataru to leave before sending the message. I can imagine what he wants to talk about. This is gonna suck, but I can’t just ignore him. Crap.

“Alright, Rokuko. Are you ready to beg for forgiveness?”

“I don’t mind genusnoozing if that’s what you’re talking about! You’ll get a futon for us, right?” Seriously? I worry about this girl sometimes.

We went to the shared room and saw that Dungeon Core Number 112, the Salamander Ittetsu, was already there. His wife and Dungeon Master Redra the Red Dragon was also there, in her human form.

“Hey, Keima! The fuck do you think you’re doing?!” Ittetsu barked out the second he saw us. He glared at us as hard as he could with his lizard face.

“I’m pretty sure I already know the answer to this, but I’ll ask anyway... What are you mad about?”

“I’m talkin’ about you sending a FUCKING Soldier of God into our dungeon! You declarin’ war on us or something?! Fucking hell!”

“It was an accident. Sorry about that.”

“Oh, it was just an accident? Alright then.” Really?! That’s all you needed to hear? I’m pretty sure the temperature literally just dropped in here.

“...’Cause it seems like we’re at fault too, y’know?” Ittetsu shot a glance at Redra, who then looked away awkwardly. Oh, I get it. He asked Redra about all this first. Makes sense.

“Uhhhh, kinda weird for me to be saying this, but did everything go alright?”

“Huh? Yeaaah, we were fine. The fuckin’ Soldier of God headed straight for the exit.” Apparently, the Hero had repeatedly gone up the stairs to the exit while intending to go deeper into the dungeon. Ittetsu had let him ignore the boss room so he could go straight outside.

“So, Keima. Why’d you connect our dungeons like that?”

“Ask Rokuko, not me. And I’m impressed you even let it happen, Ittetsu.”

“Redra did it all on her own. Man... We sure have it rough, huh?”

“Yeah... We really do.”

...It happened on my end ’cause I left Rokuko on her own, but Redra’s Ittetsu’s master. He can’t defy her when it comes to things she really wants. With that in mind, Ittetsu probably has it harder than me. His dungeon has fifty-one floors. It’d be easy to not notice the Dungeon Master fiddling with things. Sounds like he first learned about that door the moment the Hero invaded his dungeon through it.

“Rokuko met with me and said she wanted to connect our dungeons, so yeah!”

“This way makes it easier for Phenny to come over and play, right? Redra and I want to play together sometimes, too.”

“But you know, I never expected a Soldier of God to come play!”

“It’s just a little thing. Keima and Number 112, I really think you shouldn’t be so uptight about it. Okay?”

“Uh, wait, Rokuko?! Even I couldn’t beat a Soldier of God without trying really really hard! They’re super dangerous!” The one truly at fault, Rokuko, and her accomplice, Redra, were chatting like good friends.

“Uh, I’ve got a question... When did you and Redra get so close, Rokuko?”

“When you were sleeping, obviously.” Ah... Yeah. Okay.

“Ummmm, Rokuko and Phenny come over to play all the time! The few adventurers we still get here never make it to the bottom floor so I have a lot of free time!” Well yeah, your dungeon’s huge... I could sleep pretty easily if I had a dungeon with over fifty floors, too. Though I am getting plenty of sleep already.

“Anyway, Keima! You should spend more time with Rokuko! Learn from my husband!”

“Yeah! That’s right! ...Wait, Redra?! Th-The way you put that makes it sound like Keima and I are m-m-married!” I decided to not comment on that. Ittetsu prodded me with one of his toes.

“So, whaddya think about that door?”

“Ahhh, uh, want me to just seal it up?”

“Mmm? What’s the problem with just leavin’ it like it is? Fuckin’, our side of the door’s disguised as some rocks, so only adventurers from your side will be goin’ through.” Hm? Doesn’t that mean adventurers going to our dungeon will slip into theirs, but we won’t get any from them?

“Basically, I’m sayin’ I’ll take care of the fuckin’ adventurers invading your place. You better thank me.”

“Hahaha! That’d just be cutting into our revenue and sending more DP your way. I’m gonna disguise my side of the door, too, and only send Soldiers of God I can’t handle your way. Thanks. And there might be another one coming soon!”

In the end, we both disguised our sides of the door and left it as it was. Also, we decided to punish Rokuko and Redra individually in our own ways. A week without melon rolls should be good enough.