Side Chapter — A Normal Adventurer’s Day Off

Heya. My name’s Nanmo. Believe it or not, I’m an adventurer! Huh? My clothes look boring like a villager’s? Nice eyes you’ve got there. Truth is, I’m also a villager living in this town! The town built in front of the [Cave of Greed]. Yeah, it doesn’t even have a name yet. I hear they’re still thinking one up.

Things have been rough lately on account of a super strong wolf monster, but eh, I’ve got fast legs! I’m sure I could run away from anything! Anyway, I have today off ’cause I hunted an Iron Golem yesterday. A single Iron Golem is enough for one to live cheaply for several days. I even split half of it with my partner Inne.

The trick is, I sell the Iron Golems directly to the Dyne Company without using the Guild as a mediator. I get fifteen silvers each, which makes them some pretty great prey to hunt. The only downside to all this is that their iron corpses are so frickin’ heavy, you’ve gotta be careful about monsters attacking you while you’re carrying them back.

Oh, right. And Kuusan actually built me a house, so I don’t need to worry about paying inn fees. Though it’s a little cold inside. There’s no furnace, but it’s got a fireplace, so I manage. Of course, I pay close attention so a fire doesn’t break out. And since I can use the chief’s onsen for free, I’m living cheaper now than I ever did in Tsia.

Now. Today’s breakfast is cheap bread. I had it made in the Dancing Doll Inn’s oven after buying some flour from the town’s storerooms. It was cheap and bad flour that Dyne bought through his connections, but any bread baked by Kinue tastes amazing, really.

Nom... Yeah, it’s hard. Cold bread gets hard, naturally. Naturally...

But Kinue baked this bread! Therefore, it’s delicious! Man, girls who can cook sure are great. And Kinue’s a top-class babe, too. She’s got the floaty personality of like, a fairy or something. I totally wanna marry her.

I’m gonna visit the inn today. Maybe I’ll try giving her some jewelry as a gift? The Dyne Company sells tons of accessories and stuff. Actually, why do they even do that? They’re selling so much random stuff.

Anyway, I drop by their store and buy an iron ring made from an Iron Golem hunted within the dungeon. A whole Iron Golem corpse sells for fifteen silvers, but this itty bitty ring still costs fifty whole coppers. What a ripoff, I think while buying it.

Okay, and today’s receptionist is... Woah! Looks like it’s Neruneh! She looks a lot more plain than Rei or Kinue, but she’s actually got tons of magical talent. I saw her practicing the other day. She was focusing so hard on her practice that she ignored me when I called out to her. No, no. She didn’t ignore me because I’m a boring nothing to her, she was just focusing so hard she got shut off from the world.

Whoops, I went off topic there. Hahaha. Well, basically, I’m saying Neruneh is yet another girl I wanna marry. Don’t you think having a sorceress wife as your main party member sounds great? I sure do.

“Heya, Neruneh. Nice weather we’re having.”

“Welcooome. Mmm, aaah, right. Are you staying the niiight?”

“Nope, I’m just here for the onsen!”

“The onsen is free for villageeers, but everyone else has to pay ten coppeeers.”

“Hey, uh, I’m a villager! Here, I have my identification with me!” I show her the iron tag that identifies me as a villager. The town chief commissioned the blacksmith Kantara to make these, and each one of them has a unique number engraved on them. My number’s eighteen. Pretty nice number if I do say so myself. Huh? What’s nice about it? Hahaha, nice numbers are just nice numbers, man.

And seriously, what a jokester Neruneh is. I’ve come here so often and she still pretends not to recognize me for laughs. We’re so close we may as well be married already. Hahaha! Sure is rough being a popular guy!

“Aaah. Okay, you can go iiin.”

“Yep, thanks. Wanna come to my place tonight and have some fun?”

“Aaah, sir, we don’t do that kind of thing heeere.” I go to the onsen while glancing regretfully at Neruneh.

Sometimes, there are other villagers in the onsen. Ohhh! That’s Gozou, one of the elite nine with one digit villager numbers! He drinks tons of beer and is super muscular! Now this is a dwarf!

“Heya, Nanmo. Ye got today off too, huh?”

“Indeed, as I hunted an Iron Golem yesterday.”

“Sounds good. How many did ye bag? Three?”

“One, with my partner. And you?”

“Ahhh, I went spelunking with Roppe and Keima the day before yesterday and got five.”

Five with three people...? Fifteen silvers each, five of them... Uhhh, that’s like fifty silvers, right?

“Seventy five silvers. We got twenty five each.”

“Ah, yes, I knew that. Math that simple is common knowledge.”

“Woah, ye can do math? I leave that kinda stuff to Roppe.” Yep, that’s Gozou for you. But twenty five silvers, huh? Makes sense he’s drinking so much when he’s earning the big bucks like that. And uh... He said he went with Keima, but uh, isn’t that the town chief? Our chief is an adventurer? I didn’t know that.

“Between you and me, it’s always a ton easier to find Iron Golems when we’re with Keima. He’s got a good nose on’m. He can sniff’m out.”

“The town chief has a good nose? Hm, I’ve never heard of Iron Golems having a strong smell or anything. Can he smell iron?”

“Are ye daft, lad? Sayin’ someone has a good nose just means they’re sharp.”

“Wow! That’s interesting. I’m gonna brag to Inne about how I have a sharp nose now.”

“Sounds good... Hey, you wanna drink?”

“Thank you!” I take a swig from Gozou’s thermos. One good thing about this town is how easy it is to spend time with more experienced adventurers. Suddenly, another adventurer enters the onsen.

“Hm? Guess I’m not the first one here.”

“Oh, Keima! Heya man, we were just talking about you.”

“T-Town chief!” That adventurer is Keima, the town chief. Weird, he’s not very muscular for an adventurer. Carrying equipment and loot all day usually gives adventurers a more stout build than what he has.

“Either way, here, have a beer. Drink up, friend.”

“No thanks. I don’t drink alcohol that much.” In a shocking display of ingratitude, Keima turns down the beer. He’s about the only one in town who would turn down Gozou’s beer. Everyone else loves to drink it, especially since all his drinks taste so good.

“Tch, ye gotta have fun sometimes, y’know. Anyway. How about you go Golem hunting with this guy sometime?”

“Wha?!” That was sudden. I-Is this my chance to earn over twenty silvers in one day?!

“Not a chance. Pass. I just went with you the day before yesterday, Gozou. Don’t tell me you spent all your money already.”

“That kinda cash is nothin’ when you’re buying beer! But really now, these Golems are the damn best. Not often ye find money this easy. Ain’t even that many people here yet.”

“Yet, huh...? I guess a lot more people will be coming here. Which means more work for me, as chief... Hah. So sleepy.” W-Wait? Did my dreams of twenty five silvers die in an instant? Oh noooo...

“U-Ummm. Ch-Chief? Er, I didn’t know you were an adventurer.”

“Huh? Yeah, I am. D-Rank.”

“Woah! We’re the same rank...! You don’t look like much of a front row fighter, so I guess you tend to stay in the back?”

“Yep. I’ve got Kuro to do the fighting for me.” Kuro being... ohhh! That Kuro! I see, so she’s a member of the chief’s party. She’s a girl and has the crazy first name Niku, meaning sex slave, but what’s even more crazy than that is how strong she is. Lots of adventurers ask to spar with her, and most of them walk away with more than a few bruises. Emotional bruises, too. I’m one of those adventurers. She beat me fair and square. Honestly, I think it’s kinda cheating for a girl like that to be so much stronger than she looks...

“Do you specialize in any kinds of magic? Oooh, but if that’s a secret, don’t worry about it.”

“Sorry, but it’s a secret.”

The town chief soon got up and left. What a cool guy. Seems like he just came here to warm up a little before bed. Er... He’s already going to bed? At noon? Talk about being lazy.

“Seriously, I can’t believe Kuro’s in the town chief’s party... Wait. Does that mean he’s the Master she’s always talking about?”

“Yup, that’s Keima. Kuro’s head over heels for’m.”

“...Er. She told me that her master named her Niku. I, uh...”

“Nanmo. People’s kinks are best left alone. Don’t think about’m, don’t ask about’m.” Holy crap. I’m just gonna pretend I never heard about any of this. Oh, and by the way, my kink is belly buttons! I love cute, squishy, round ones! Seems like Gozou has a thing for girls that drink a lot of beer... Oh, right, Roppe. I understand everything now.

Anyway, after getting all warmed up in the onsen, I decide to eat lunch. I hope I can get some homemade onigiri from Kinue.

I head to the cafeteria. Fingers crossed that Kinue’s there.

“Kinueeee.”

“Hm? Kinue is on the night shift today.” So spoke a silver-haired beauty, Rei, after I walked into the cafeteria. She’s got a perfect body and she’s great at massages, too... I wonder why so many of my potential wives work in this inn?

“Oh, really? That’s fine. I’m just glad I get to see you, Rei!”

“Today’s lunch is onigiri. Five coppers each.”

“Your silver hair’s as pretty as ever today. I think I’ll have one onigiri. And a smile from you too, please.”

“A smile costs five coppers, which will bring your total up to eleven coppers.”

“Oh, you’re actually selling them? Neat, that’s... Wait. Isn’t eleven too much? That should be ten coppers.”

“Hm? Ah! I... This is a special price, just for you, sir.”

“Woah, hell yeah! Take my money!” Heh, a special price, just for me...! Feels pretty good.

I give Rei eleven coppers.

“Now then, here is your onigiri... And here’s your smile! Cheeeese!” Wooooah! What a smile! Now I really wanna marry her. Her smile’s bright and gentle like the sun itself.

By the way, Rei’s onigiri tend to have way, way, way too much salt in them, but I can still eat them without much trouble. Weird. Must be because they’re packed with her love.

“Heh, that’s a nice smile. How about you come back to my place and we have a nice dinner together?”

“I’d rather you just buy me an S-Rank meal! Just hand over the ticket and I’m happy! Cheeeese!” Oof, I don’t think I can pony up five golds like that! Heh, she sure is shy. But we have a connection. I know that she would actually love to eat dinner with me. Why? ’Cause otherwise, she wouldn’t give me a deal like that. She basically proposed to me just now. Good grief, I have women falling all over me.

Today’s onigiri seems normal. It’s filled with some kind of black stuff, but... It tastes kind of like Pavella kelp. Not bad, really. I could taste Rei’s love in it.

Okaaay, that’s lunch done. What to do now...? Oh, right! The rat races should be starting soon, if they haven’t already. Cool, I’ve got the time! I’ll go check them out! I head to the recreation building. Entry is free, of course, and just watching the rats race is pretty fun.

“Woah, what’s up, Inne? Didn’t expect to see you here.”

“Hey, Nanmo. You came to see the races too, huh?” It’s my partner Inne. He’s holding gambling tickets in his hands... Ahhh, yeah. There’s no helping this guy.

“Are ya winning, friend?”

“Yep, I’m pretty sure I’ll win everything back after this next race.” Yeah, sounds like he’s getting dunked on. Hmm... Maybe I could make some money by betting on whichever rats he doesn’t?

“Who are you betting on?”

“I got some money on both Walky Walker and Blue Avenger.”

“Alright, I’ll bet on some of the others... Oh man, Speed of Sound Sonic’s up. Why didn’t you bet on him?”

“This is his second race today. I’m betting he’s still tired from the first one.” Maybe, but he’s my pick. I buy five coppers worth of gambling tickets on Speed of Sound Sonic.

The race went like this: Walky Walker stopped for no reason right before the goal. Blue Avenger turned around halfway through the race and ran back to the start. Ultimately, Speed of Sound Sonic won. He started the race walking slowly, but started a mad dash right after Walky Walker stopped. He slid right by and won the race. Also, Buzzington took a nap at the starting line.

...My five coppers turned into seven. You know, I feel like luck is on my side today! Yeah!

Mmm. Nice weather we’re having today (Avoiding Reality).

I mean, come on. I thought for sure today was my lucky day. It all started off so well. I bet on Elec-Mouse next and won again. But it all went downhill from there. Land of Dream’s failure swept away all the money I had with me. I really should have guessed things would go like this after seeing that Ichika was the one selling tickets today.

“...Looks like today’s my last day off. I’ll go hunting for an Iron Golem tomorrow.”

“Haaah... I’m so mad. If only I quit while I was ahead...!” I head to the cafeteria for dinner while sighing. We have a storeroom for wheat flour now, so villagers can buy bread for a copper apiece.

When I reach the cafeteria, I see that my beloved Kinue is there. Kinue gives off such a lovely, gentle aura. She’s like a green fairy, one so mature that everyone ends up seeing her as a comforting other mother.

“Oh my, welcome. Are you here for bread again, Mister Nanmo?”

“Ahaha, yeah, it’s kinda sad...” Kinue, in all her radiance, remembers my name without fail. Surely that means she has special feelings for me... which reminds me that the ring I bought her is in my pocket.

“Right, Kinue. I have a present for you today.”

“Oh my. And what might that be?”

“Th-Thish wing!”

“My my, it’s delightful... Here, have some free bacon, my treat.” Kinue slices my piece of freshly baked bread open and slides a piece of bacon into it.

Kinue... She really is a fairy! A pure being, beyond human comprehension...! This is proof that we’re on the verge of getting married.

“Um, would you mind putting on the ring for me, so I can see it on you?”

“Fufu. I’m at work, so just for a second.” Kinue took the ring I bought her and slid it onto her left hand’s ring finger in front of me. Due to work, however, she immediately took it off.

...Yeah, I’m glad I didn’t gamble this baby away. For some reason, they let you trade accessories for gambling tickets over there...

“See you tomorrow. Please order some proper food next time.”

“R-Right!” I take my bacon-stuffed bread and return home, pleased. She remembered my name and made my dinner for me (bread). I don’t think it’d be an exaggeration to say that we’re already married.

“Man, Kinue really is the best. She gave me some cheese as a bonus, too.”

“Inne, she gave you that out of respect for me. Be grateful.”

“Yeah, yeah. Let’s get to bed already. We’re hunting Golems tomorrow.” I get into my futon. We could make a fair chunk of change from gathering magic stones from Golems, but Iron Golems are really just so much better...

I fall asleep, wondering when my next day off will be.