Bonus Short Stories

A Mouse Beastkin’s Plan to Beat the Rat Races

In front of the [Cave of Greed] rests the Dancing Doll Inn. A form of gambling known as rat racing was held daily within the inn’s recreation building.

“I know a way to win every rat race.” A mouse beastkin leaned over and murmured that to a merchant eating lunch within the inn cafeteria.

“Huh? How do you figure that?”

“My name’s Amachi. Just listen for a second, it’s real simple.” The mouse beastkin introduced himself as Amachi. Apparently, he was D-Rank adventurer.

“I know rat language, so I’ll be able to talk to them a little.” It sounded like a joke, but the merchant had heard of beastkin being fairly close to animals of a species similar to theirs.

“I’m kinda like a Tamer, if that makes sense.”

“A Tamer, huh? That does sound more legitimate.”

“Right?” In any case, the merchant decided to hear out what the adventurer had to say.

“Basically, I’ll ask the rats to fix the race and let whoever I bet on win.”

“Makes sense. But what do I have to do with that?”

“Now that’s the most simple thing... I don’t have any money. And more importantly, I think this method will only work three times at best. I wanna earn as much as I can before the jig is up.” Amachi cackled to himself.

“In short, you want me to loan you money?”

“...I woulda said it a little differently, but yeah. The only thing is, I won’t be able to pay you back right away if I lose.”

“Alright. In that case, I’ll lend you money if you agree to sell yourself into slavery to pay me back in the event that you lose.” Amachi’s smile froze over.

“...Isn’t that a little harsh?”

“In return, I’ll lend you two golds.”

“...Do you have a contract form?” And so, they signed a contract.

＊ ＊ ＊

Incidentally, gamblers didn’t need to do complex math to figure out the odds involved in a rat race or how much betting on a certain rat would win them. Things were simple: You bought gambling tickets, and winning tickets were bought back for more than you paid for.

Amachi entered the recreation room with the merchant. He bought twenty silvers worth of gambling tickets.

“I asked the rats to let Speed of Sound Sonic win earlier, in return for me sneaking them cheese later tonight.”

“You think they’ll listen to you?”

“Y-Yeah. They should.” Amachi’s voice trembled a little with doubt. And so, the rat races began.

...In the end, Speed of Sound Sonic won.

“Oooh...”

“We won, we won!” He sold the tickets and got back his silvers, plus three extra. Seemed like betting on a regular winner like Speed of Sound Sonic wouldn’t earn too much.

“Alright, sixty silvers next...!”

“Gotta go to the ticket stand and get more.”

“R-Right. I’ll go ask them to let Land of Dreams win next.”

“I’ll get the tickets, then. Sixty silvers worth.”

The second rat race began. Amachi held his mountain of gambling tickets and prayed.

“Come on, come on, come on....!”

“Yes! Hell yes! Uwooooh, Land of Dreams! You’re doing it, Land of Dreams!” Things were going well at first, but then Land of Dreams stopped right in front of the goal line. It began looking around aimlessly.

“What’s wrong?! One more step! Just one more!”

“Woah, hold up, Depper! This isn’t your turn! Hold on, please!” Land of Dreams turned, seemingly looking straight at Amachi.

“Alright! I’ll give you an apple too!” The moment Amachi said that, Land of Dreams took a single step forward. Depper reached the goal a second later. But the winner was Land of Dreams.

“Yes...! We won big!” They got ninety silvers back.

“Oh man, you did it! This should be enough to last through the winter, yeah?”

“Nah, we can keep going! And this is honestly not enough to last a winter at this inn.”

“Fifty coppers a night, extra for food... Yeah, winter would be a little tight with this.”

And so, they gambled the a whole gold piece. This would be their last gamble.

“...Dude, we totes don’t have a gold’s worth of tickets. Just take this special one.” Ichika handed Amachi a special ticket that was gold and shiny.

“So, who’s our final gamble gonna be on?”

“Heh heh. We’re gonna bet it all on the darkest of all horses, Buzzington!”

“Buzzington?! The rat with 50:1 odds against him?! You sure he can do it?”

“Yeah! Seems like he’s pumped to win today!”

However, Buzzington didn’t run. Even after Amachi offered to give him two, no, three, no, ten times as much cheese, Buzzington didn’t budge an inch. In mere seconds, the golden ticket in his hand turned into a piece of trash.

“Heeeey, Amaaaachi. What’re you gonna do about this?”

“...Er... W-Would you please give me until winter ends to pay you back?”

“Eh, sure... I had more fun with this than I thought. But if you don’t pay me back by spring, I’m gonna sell you into slavery, alright?”

“Ngh, my bad...”

Thanks in part to his winnings, Amachi managed to pay the merchant back just before spring began. Unfortunately, since he had fallen so far into debt and never gave the rats their cheese or apples, Amachi’s success rate at the races plummeted.

Keima and the Wild Goblins

Although I considered taming Rin, the problem was that I first had to make the monster submit. There was no way I could go from zero to taming a monster that strong right away. It’d be smarter to start off by experimentally taming weaker monsters. I walked up to Gozou in the cafeteria and got a discussion going on the subject.

“So basically, I want to try taming monsters.”

“Yeah? I remember ye being interested in taming, but huh, you’re really gonna try to be a Tamer?”

“Yep. I’ve already learned Goblin language.” A Goblin language scroll only cost 100 DP in the DP Catalog. Super cheap. But since I have a magical auto-translator, I didn’t actually need one.

“Woah, really now? That’s somethin’.”

“So yeah, I want to try negotiating with a Goblin. Things might go a bit more smoothly if we get some Goblins helping out around town.”

“Give it up... or at least, I’d say that if there weren’t already Golems working in the inn. Hard to argue with results like that.” Our inn had its own Golem workforce. We were mainly using them to carry stuff around.

“Either way, yer gonna want to find some Goblins outside of the dungeon, not inside.”

“Why’s that?”

“I hear dungeon monsters ain’t good fer taming. Either they’ve got no sense of self, or they’re so loyal they live and die for their dungeon. Ye won’t find a single one that ye can tame.”

...No sense of self, huh? That’s probably monsters that come from Spawners. The loyal monsters are probably those that got individually summoned. Yeah, makes sense. Neither of those are good for taming. With that in mind, I brought Niku and Gozou out of town with me to search for Goblins.

“Found them.” With the power of Niku’s nose, we quickly found three Goblins with no trouble at all. Yet again she proved to be a competent, model slave girl. The three Goblins all glared at us, pointing their rusted swords and knives in our direction.

“Er, so, how should I tame them?”

“Iffin the monsters hostile, beat the hell out of’m. But don’t kill’m.”

“Just gotta beat them up, huh?” Monsters fundamentally understood that might made right, and we just had to demonstrate through violence that we were the mightier ones.

“Can’t we try negotiating first?”

“Ye know they’re pointin’ blades at us, yea? Give it a try if ye really want to, but don’t be expecting much.”

“...Alright. I’m gonna try to understand what they’re saying.” I focused on the Goblin’s voices. “Ngh, I won’t let myself die here! My wife is waiting for me back home!”

“These guys are dangerous. They reek of death. They’re all used to killing, it’s a way of life for them... I can see it in their eyes! They consider us animals and nothing more...!”

“Fuck, that little human has no openings! We can’t beat her... Listen. I’ll stay here and try to hold them back for as long as I can. Use that time to run...”

Jesus Christ. These little Goblins have their own lives too. Goblin lives and families. Welp.

In any case, I decided to try talking to them. I focused on the Goblin language and...

“Aaah, do you guys have a moment?”

“Oh?! You can talk, bastard? Guess you’re pretty smart for a human.”

“What’d you come here for, you Goblin slaying monster?!” Wait, why are they assuming I’m a Goblin slayer? I mean, I have killed my share of Goblins, but...

“I kinda wanna tame y—I mean, uh, wanna come serve me?”

“Never!”

“Yeah, I expected that. You guys have your own lives to live... Forget I said anything.”

“Hmph. You look the weakest out of your group, anyway. Aside from your equipment.”

Negotiations failed.

“It didn’t work out. Guess we just go home now...”

“What’re ye talking about, Keima? If ye ain’t gonna tame’m, ye gotta kill’m.” Gozou’s merciless statement actually made me pull back from him a little, uncomfortable.

“What’s yer problem? Goblins are Guild appointed extermination targets. I’m gonna kill’m.”

“Hold on, Gozou. Goblins have lives too.”

“So do I. If you’re not gonna tame’m, they’re dead.” Gozou casually swung his axe, slicing two of the Goblins in half.

“GYAAAAH! You fucking bastard, you killed my brothers!” The last remaining Goblin charged at us with his sword held high. But Niku kicked his leg and sent him sprawling on the ground before quickly stepping on his back.

“Master, I have neutralized him. Go ahead.”

“Huh? Er, uhhhhh... W-Want to serve me?”

“LIKE FUCKING HELL I WOULD! GIVE ME BACK MY BROTHEEERS! GAAAAAAAAH!”

“Give it up, little girl. Ye can’t tame a monster after killing its allies in front of it.”

“...I see.” With that newfound knowledge in mind, Niku slit the Goblin’s throat without a moment’s hesitation. Not an ounce of mercy... Is this the world adventurers live in...?

“I mean, one of them talked about having a wife... I feel like we did something pretty awful here.”

“What, one of’m was married...? Huh.” Gozou nodded to himself. “Guess that means there’s more of’m. Perfect, we need a few more ears to get the reward for killing five Goblins. Let’s go get’m.” Ahhh. What a cruel world we live in. I offered up a silent prayer to the soon-to-be-dead Goblins that I had never met.

I guess the lesson here is that ignorance is bliss. Not understanding the language of your animals and enemies might be for the best. I gave up my dream of becoming a Tamer.

The Seedy Underbelly of the Rat Races

In front of the [Cave of Greed] rests the Dancing Doll Inn. A form of gambling known as rat racing was held daily within the inn’s recreation building. The racers were, of course, rats. Since they did not need riders as horses did, they could run freely of their own accord, which made each race unpredictable and thrilling. Those thrills are what kept people coming back for more.

“Alriiiight. Time to earn your keep, fellas.”

“Squeak!” The rats squeaked happily as they ate the vegetables, meat, and cheese that Keima gave them. It was the beginning of a new day.

＊ ＊ ＊

“Okaaay, the Grand One Hundred and Fifty-First Race Meeting is now in sessiooon.”

“Hey, Land of Dreams, would you quit with numbering the meetings already? And like, wasn’t last time the two hundredth meeting? Why’d the number go down?”

“Don’t worry about it! It’s all about the mood here.”

“Okay, okay. Let’s start the meeting already, Speed of Sound Sonic and Land of Dreams.”

“Fine. Haaah... Okay, gather around, everyone.” Sonic whacked his tail against the ground. Despite being so easy-going, he was actually fairly serious about his work. The rats participating in the races all gathered around him. There were morsels of vegetable spread in a circle, the idea being that they would nibble on it while the meeting went on.

“Can’t we just do whatever like we always do?”

“I’m feeling in the mood for some drama. I always love their reactions when I stop and turn right around in front of the goal.”

“I know, riiight?”

The rats all talked without any direction at all, in what hardly felt like a meeting at all.

“Okay, once you turn around, Speed of Sound Sonic can just race to the finish line.”

“Awww, I gotta run super fast again? Being an ace sure is rough...”

“There he goes again, acting like some kinda racing master.”

“What do you mean, there he goes again? Hmph!”

“Ace, huh? Sounds cool to me. You’re like, the one Master’s counting on.” So they said, but the rats were fairly similar in terms of strength and speed. They were all ferocious warriors who had survived Dungeon Battle One despite Haku’s best efforts and thus received names from their Master. Aside from the three of them that had successfully evacuated the minotaur’s throat after choking it to death, they all received equal attention. One of those three, as you might expect, was Speed of Sound Sonic, ace of the rats. He worked hard each day, following their plan and racing straight to the finish line with speed benefiting his blue marathon bib.

“Really, if Elec-Mouse is gonna be racing today, I say we let him take the win.”

“Nah, nah. I wouldn’t want to steal your glory, Mr. Ace.”

“You’re an ace too, Elec-Mouse!” Elec-Mouse was also one of the three who had successfully escaped the minotaur’s throat. The final ace was Buzzington. He had been the first mouse to jump into the minotaur’s throat and was thus hailed a ferocious hero of legend (although they really had nothing resembling a consciousness at that point in time.) His heroism had led to grave wounds covering his body, which he used as an excuse for barely participating in the races. Restoration magic had already cured his wounds and removed all pain, but that didn’t stop him from boldly slacking off each day. Basically, yes, all the aces were lazy just like Keima. Perhaps they were such excellent servants that they ended up learning from their master’s personality.

“You’re supposed to be our aces, Speed of Sound Sonic and Elec-Mouse. Gotta fulfill that role.”

“That role...? I mean, we’re all basically just as strong as each other, but some of us are definitely better than acting than others. Whaddaya think about that, Depper?”

“Walky Walker’s definitely the best actor here. The crowd always goes nuts when he stops a few steps before the goal and looks around everywhere.”

“Riiight?”

“Hmph. I wanna be a secret weapon like Buzzington too...” Speed of Sound Sonic let out a sigh.

Then, right as the race was about to start, the High Priestess walked in.

“Woah, hold up. It’s the High Priestess. What do we do?” The High Priestess required special attention. Their whole plan could change based on her bet, and she was holding some betting tickets in her hands.

“Wasn’t it like, if she’s betting a small amount we let her win half the time, and if she’s betting a large amount we make her lose eighty percent of the time?”

“Guess I should lose then. She’s betting it all on me.”

“But you’re supposed to be a stable source of small income. This can be one of those times we let her win.”

“Oh, hold on. Ichika’s sending a message. It looks like most people are betting on Elec-Mouse and Speed of Sound Sonic so we should let Land of Dreams or someone else win this time.” Ichika smacked the the box to send them coded messages. To the rats, Ichika was something of a newbie, since they joined the dungeon before her, but she was also their commander. In any case, their master Keima had put his trust in them, and regardless of who gave them orders, they wanted to do a good job... Though naturally, they slacked off when they could.

“Me? Mmm, alright, I guess you aces can wrestle at the starting line and I’ll just slip to the end.”

“No arguing with direct orders, yeah. Elec-Mouse, let’s have some fun at the starting line.”

“Yeeep. Do your best, Land of Dreams.”

And so the race began. They entered the small box with internal dividers placed before the starting line.

“Time to entertain the customers like we always do.”

“Yeah!”

Thanks to meetings just like that one, the rat races became and continued to be extremely popular.

A Day in the Life of the High Priestess (Holy Kingdom Edition)

Lady Alca, as the High Priestess, woke up early each day. Each generation of High Priestess was considered within the Holy Kingdom to be the very personification of the Church of Light’s divine teachings, an avatar of righteousness that all believers should strive to emulate. Needless to say, she was not permitted to oversleep.

Mornings began with a bath. {Purification} alone would not suffice, as the cold water was vital in shaking off her sleepiness and giving her the strength to approach the day with a cool mind.

“A good bath is truly the best way to start a day.”

Afterwards, she got dressed, did her hair, and ate a luxurious breakfast prepared by excellent chefs. The Church of Light imposed no restrictions on food. If believers restrained from eating meat and ultimately lacked the strength to smite their enemies, the Church would crumble from within, defeating the purpose. The High Priestess diligently ate the delicious meal spread across the white tablecloth with perfect table manners.

“I thank those that prepared this meal, and I thank the food. It is known that food exists to be eaten. In which case, we must express our thanks by enjoying the food’s flavor in full.” Lady Alca deftly used her knife and fork to neatly eat the food. She then delivered the half-eaten plates to her follows. It was the responsibility of nobles to feed those below them. However, if I may interject for a moment, I find it quite cute how rarely she has any dessert left over.

After breakfast came prayer. Lady Alca knelt before the temple’s Great Altar and prayed with all her heart for world peace.

“The High Priestess exists for her kingdom... for the world. If even a word of my prayers reaches God and brings about even a sliver of good fortune to the world, then I have no complaint.” The High Priestess looked divine as she prayed. Soft light fell upon her, making it look as if God was personally granting her His blessing.

After prayer came training. The High Priestess did not fuss over her weaponry. She needed familiarity with as many tools as possible to accomplish her goals. As she could use {Storage} as the situation demanded, she had several breeds of weaponry hidden within at all times. Naturally, each were maintained by top-rate blacksmiths. On this day, she began by practicing swings with a halberd. It was like a combination of an axe and a spear, and Lady Alca favored it above many others. Arranging weapons together allowed for a more versatile tool in the field. The more ways a challenge tested her, the more Lady Alca’s true strength shined.

“Eliminating dungeons from the world is to make it righteous. I would not hesitate to sacrifice my life to such an end.” Lady Alca truly believed that from the bottom of her heart. If not for that fact, she would never be able to endure the suffering that came hand in hand with destroying dungeons.

“I truly can feel this meat becoming part of my own flesh and blood.” In order to fulfill her duty as High Priestess, she needed as strong of a body as possible.

After dinner, she studied a broad range of topics such as medicine and magic before bed. It is said that people digest knowledge during sleep. In which case, it is most efficient to study before bed. Dungeons often tested one on knowledge, so the High Priestess could not slack on her studies. Lady Alca devoured knowledge with utmost seriousness.

“If each fraction of this knowledge builds the foundation of bringing about world peace, I feel compelled to memorize it all.” Lady Alca continued to study up until the moment she went to bed. Her diligence was worthy of a hearty bow.

It became time to sleep. Lady Alca offered a light prayer to the small altar in her room. Then, she drank a glass of warm milk. A soft blanket and a glass of warm milk would free her of exhaustion, allowing her to challenge the next day with all her strength.

“Yet again, I have spent a day improving myself. You must work hard as well. The fruits of daily effort build on each other, guiding your soul to greater heights.” The High Priestess blessed me with one final piece of gracious advice before sleeping. That alone was enough to say that my day had been worthwhile.

Now then, in order to assist Lady Alca the High Priestess, I too shall offer a prayer to the altar before bed. May the world be at peace, and may the burden on Lady Alca be lessened...

Shento Cone, the High Priestess’s Attendant

*Note: In the not too distant future, Alca gets addicted to gambling in Goren.