Chapter 2

Day 362

During the second day of our dungeon being connected to Haku’s villa, I decided to go sightseeing through the Imperial Capital. Reason being, the first contender for where to build the new dungeon was within the capital itself. Why? There were many benefits to building a dungeon here, but the main one was that by owning a second dungeon, we could instantaneously travel to the capital by “placing” ourselves there. Basically, we could come visit whenever we wanted to.

...Huh? But how would the location benefit us during the Dungeon Battle? Uh, I guess we could have nearby adventurers come help us. But we could do that anywhere we wanted, really. To be honest, all that about coming here instantaneously was just me having a little fun. There’s basically zero chance we’re building the dungeon here. That was just an excuse. The real reason is that I want to get a good look at the capital with my own two eyes.

The Imperial Capital—Haku’s home base and the holy grounds for any adventurer. It was a fairly developed city, as you’d expect from the capital of a large country, and many people lived there. The busy main street I was standing by was within the dungeon’s territory, so the throngs of people I was seeing pass by—not to mention all the people I couldn’t see—were all generating DP for Haku. The entire population of the capital was unknowingly making her richer. This was the ideal end state for my own village, so it wouldn’t hurt to take a look around for inspiration. Though I didn’t intend to go quite as far as Haku had.

“There sure are a lot of people here, Haku. This is the first time I’ve ever seen so many humans!”

“Ahaha. It’s like this every day.” By the way, Haku had taken the opportunity to guide us through the city. She couldn’t just walk around as normal, though, so she switched to DP-saving mode... in other words, loli mode. Rokuko wasn’t the only one who could modify how old she looked.

Even when in loli mode, Haku looked just a little bit older than Rokuko, as befitting a loli older sister. Through mysterious powers unknown to man, her once sizable tits had turned into small mounds. She looked like a late elementary schooler or an early middle schooler; a young girl on the verge of hitting puberty. In order to match Haku (mini), Rokuko had gone into loli mode as well. Now should be a good time to mention that Niku was with us. Haku (mini) in front of me, Rokuko (mini) to my right, and Niku to my left. Hm... I shall name this formation the Loli Triangle. After so many years, I’ve finally formed the loli harem of my dreams... nah. Haku’s the one leading this little girl army, I’m just along for the ride.

“Ah, Keima... Perhaps I should call you big brother now?”

“Uh, no, please no. Let’s just keep things normal here.”

“Very well. In any case, is there anywhere in particular you wish to visit? I’m familiar with every inch of this city.” Haku turned around, hair fluttering, and gave me an innocent-looking smile. Her claim carried a lot more weight since she literally had built this city from the ground up.

“Hm. There’s a lot of stores I want to check out, plus the Adventurer’s Guild... I also want to see the underground coliseum while I’m here.”

“Oh my, the underground coliseum...? Ahaha, well, that has to wait until tonight. For now, I’ll take you to the merchant’s quarter.”

＊ ＊ ＊

Haku guided us to the merchant’s quarter. There were shops all over the place selling vegetables, fruits, clothes, and all kinds of things. There was a butchery and a fishery too. Speaking of which, the city did look pretty close to the sea on the map. This place is more commercially active than Tsia for sure. Can’t see any weapon or armor shops, though.

“This is the merchant quarter’s main street. They sell defensive items on the level of charms and such, but real equipment is primarily sold in the adventurer’s quarter. Also, convenient magic tools such as those that provide lighting are all sold here.” And that was that. Rokuko was dragged into a clothing store by Haku almost immediately. It was an expensive-looking store designed for nobles, though apparently the staff knew about Haku’s stealth loli mode. It was probably a store she built specifically to visit while a loli. Yeaaah, this is just normal shopping. Guess I’ll tag along.

“This store has all manner of designs and outfits that originate from past Heroes. Here is a girl’s outfit inspired by rabbits, and here is a pure angel’s outfit.”

“That’s just a bunny girl suit and a nurse outfit... Those past Heroes must have been something else.” There were police uniforms, maid outfits, and school swimsuits too. They were all made from materials found in this world, but they looked exactly like the real thing. There were male versions of the outfits too, which showed a lot of care and consideration went into this. Huh... I wonder if one of those past Heroes was a big time cosplayer or something.

“Let’s see the price... Yep, ten whole gold coins. Clothes sure are expensive...”

“You should expect nothing less from a high class store for nobles. Now, my sweet Rokuko. Let us get changed.”

“O-Okay!” So she said, but Haku was holding the bunny girl outfit from a second ago. Looks like she’s got bikini armor too, Rokuko. You okay with that?

Haku snapped her fingers to summon an employee, who quickly appeared and took them both deeper into the store. Niku and I were left behind.

“Niku... Uh, I mean, Kuro. Do you want anything?”

“Um... I-If you insist, I would like to see the clothes over there.” Niku pointed at the underwear corner. Not gonna make this easy for me, huh?

Rokuko tried out all sorts of outfits, but in the end settled on a simple dress. By the way, I didn’t buy anything since it’d be cheaper to just buy with DP, not to mention that the quality would be better too. Haku, on the other hand, bought tons of stuff. On her tab. Apparently, making the store employees go all the way to the castle for their payment was all a big performance to show off that they were big shots who dealt with royalty. Man, running a business sounds like a pain. Oh, and we actually didn’t need to carry any bags. I forgot we had {Storage} for that.

“It’s the responsibility of the elite to spend their wealth and keep the economy running. Ah, and Rokuko, I’ll give these to you as a present once the Dungeon Battle is over.”

“Okay! Thank you so much, Haku!” I’m pretty sure she just bought a bunch of those skimpy cosplay outfits. You’re really fine with that, Rokuko? Not that I saw you wearing them.

“Shall we go to a magic tool store next?” The magic tool store had quite a variety of tools laid out: some that set fires, some that created water, some that shined. Those were all the most popular and each sold pretty well. They were even sold in the adventurer’s quarter.

In addition to those standard magic tools, there were musical tools that looked like keyboards, and cooking tools that could peel potatoes. There was even a magic tool that worked like a pen. I really didn’t understand why that thing had to be a magic tool... Wait, what? It refills ink on its own? By making it within the pen itself? Okay, yeah, a pen that never runs out of ink is pretty baller. Surprisingly enough, there was even a magic tool sold to the public that created paper.

“This ‘Mr. Paper Maker’ was designed by a past Hero. It turns any thin pieces of wood given to it into paper. Many merchants buy it alongside this ‘Mr. Eternal Pen.’” Apparently, adding “Mr.” to the start of a product was a sign that it was a magic tool originally designed by a Hero. I looked around and saw several magic tools that also had names starting with it.

“I do think that a paper-making magic tool is valuable to have, but should you really be selling it to the public like this?”

“The creator wished for it, there was nothing I could do. To make up for that, I made it such that once broken, the tools could only be fixed by imperial offices.” That said, it would only produce a single sheet of A3-sized paper, and it took several hours just to do that. Each buyer also had to register their name for future maintenance and whatnot.

I kept looking at various magic tools useful for daily life, and eventually Rokuko walked up with a pot in one hand.

“Keima, isn’t this ‘No Firewood Pot’ amazing? It heats up on its own!”

“So it’s like a hot plate, huh? Can you adjust the heat?”

“It doesn’t look like you can.”

“Oh, this ‘Mr. Heating Pot’ has different heat settings and doesn’t need firewood. Warm, hot, extra hot... This must be popular with both adventurers and chefs.” The first pot cost five silvers, while the second one cost five golds. It was one hundred times more expensive. To think just three heat settings would change the price so much...

“About that. All of these ‘Mr.’ tools can only be made in our Hero Workshop. Plus, the cheaper versions break a lot faster.” So this is basically a brand name thing, huh? The especially cheap heating pots would burst into flames out of nowhere, which ran users the risk of their tents burning down... According to Haku, someone was intentionally flooding the market with dangerous, low-quality brandless items in order to boost the value of brand name items. In Japan, that would lead to them getting sued by the stores she sold to, but in the capital it was known that no brandless items had insurance policies and were all mostly junk. Anyone who bought them had nobody but themselves to blame. Whoever set this up sure knows how to make some dirty money.

Oh, that “someone” is Haku herself. I see. Yeah, I don’t know why I didn’t see that coming.

I bought one ‘Mr. Eternal Pen’ and put it into {Storage}. After getting back home, I would ask Neruneh to see if she could make one of them herself.

Eventually, we left the store and Haku showed us all around the city, bringing us to a variety of different stores.

“Now then... Let’s go to the Adventurer’s Guild. The morning quest rush has likely ended by now, so it should be tolerable.” With Haku’s guidance, we headed from the merchant’s quarter to the adventurer’s quarter. Once there, we saw a huge stone building with a massive sign hanging above its front doors—It was the Adventurer’s Guild headquarters. It had its own storage and dissection buildings. If compared to the Guild building in Tsia, it was like the difference between a wooden shack and a mansion. In turn, the branch office near our dungeon was like a doghouse. More like an anthill, honestly.

We boldly walked in through the front door and were greeted with a clean interior that reminded me of a government office, but with a cafe attached. Though the clean image was ruined by all the adventurers quaffing beer in the cafe. Speaking of the adventurers, some of them called out to us the moment we walked in.

“Oh, lots of cute girls... Haven’t seen any of’m round these parts before. There’s a sleepy-looking dude, too.”

“Whew lad, I’m bettin’ these girlies are gonna be real hotties when they grow up.” I tensed up a little in case they planned to surround us. Uh... Haku, why are you hiding behind me while grinning like crazy? Rokuko, what’s with the murderous look in your eyes? Niku. Put the knife away. Keep it sheathed and just hold onto the grip if you have to.

“Heya, sonny. This is the Adventurer’s Guild.” An especially muscular man called out to me. He looked like their leader. I had Golem clothes helping me out, but I got the feeling he would beat me to a pulp in a fight. What to do here... Before I could decide on what to do, he plopped a hand on my shoulder.

“Take it easy. You’re the oldest one in your party. It’s your job to take care of these fine young ladies. Here, girls, have some candy. We can all eat it together.”

“Th-There he is! Tokoi giving his candy away like always! Those solidified balls of honey that his Don Mercenary Band made famous!”

“He loves children, but all children fear him, so he developed this ultimate strategy: Give them candy! Man, this is just the generosity I’d expect from someone who donates almost all of his earnings to orphanages!”

“He looks so scary he’s used to children fearing him! It’s no urban legend that over a hundred children have started crying after he walked up to them with a smile!”

“Hey, shut it. Calbi, Harim, Ross. I’ll remember this.” Welp, turns out he’s a great dude. I took the four paper-wrapped pieces of candy from him.

“Uhhh.”

“...Sorry, did I scare you? I’m, uh, not a suspicious person or anything. You could say I’m a bit famous around these parts, since I’m a B-Rank adventurer. Go ahead and ask the Guild staff if you don’t believe me.”

“Uh, you know, I think I might do that.” I waved over a nearby staff member and did a double check. Apparently, everything those three had said was right. He looked scary, but he was a B-Rank adventurer that took care of others and liked children. He was even the leader of a mercenary band. I got worried for nothing.

“Seriously...? You actually asked a staff member...? I mean, that’s fine. You never know who might be lying to you. Double checking is the right call. Heh, I’m fine... That’s fine. You’re a mature guy making sure to protect his children, heh. That’s a good thing. Hahaha.” Sounding like he was close to crying, he said “Go ahead and ask me for help if you ever need anything,” and then walked off with the other three adventurers.

“...What just happened?”

“That’s just one of the famous adventurers that frequents this Guild. He’s one of the pawns we have available to us. It was very lucky that we met him here. Ah, though if you want to use him, you’ll need to handle the negotiations yourself.” Haku filled me in on the details. Hm... I get it. Haku’s already considered the idea of calling adventurers over during the Dungeon Battle and making them fight. This guy runs a mercenary band, too, so we could buy him with money if necessary. I’ll have to think about using him.

Speaking of which, I wonder what kind of quests the capital has. I was expecting some pretty good stuff, given the size of the capital, but nothing on the quest board looked that appealing. Most of them were basically fetch quests that involved going into the dungeon.

“As I said, the morning rush is over. The good, profitable jobs that involve deliveries or other such manual labor have all been taken by other adventurers, as you would expect.”

“Yeah, I see what you mean. I’m not the only one looking for good, easy jobs.”

“Quite. There’s even a famous saying that goes like ‘You’re not the only adventurer in the world.’” That said, I didn’t want to come here during morning rush just to see what good quests were like. Guess I’ll give up on this...

“I imagine there are still some good quests for high-rank adventurers only, B-Rank and above. Would you like to see?” More or less everything on the quest board was for C-Rank adventurers or below. B-Rank only quests, and certain C-Rank only quests, were considered high-rank quests that weren’t posted on the normal board. You had to hear about them directly from the counter and they were heavily restricted according to not only rank but achievements as well.

Though, even with all that in mind, I could expect that B-Rank adventurers had still taken all of the good quests already. Maybe I’ll check them out next time, I thought moments before something happened.

“Hey, isn’t that you, Keima? What’re you doing all the way out here?”

“Huh? Who?” I turned around and saw two adventurers standing in front of me. Er, yeah, I don’t recognize these guys.

“I’m Uzou! You saved our lives, remember?”

“I’m Muzou! We promised to find you a Magic Blade, remember?”

...Ahhh. Yeah, that sure was a thing that happened. I completely forgot about them.

“There’s not been a single day where we’ve forgotten how much we owe you for saving our lives! Right, Muzou?”

“Yeah, but I’m sure saving the likes of us was just another normal day for Keima. We can’t expect him to remember us, Uzou.” I mean, yeah, I met you two a single time like a year ago.

Uzou and Muzou. Brother adventurers, both C-Rank. They were the first visitors to our Dancing Doll Inn and I ended up saving their lives in the dungeon. If I remember correctly, they accidentally got stuck in my Magic Blade testing room and generated us tons of DP.

“So, what’re you doing at the capital, Keima? Didja move your home base from Tsia to here?”

“I’m just on a little quest. I’ll be going back to Goren soon.”

“Goren? Was there a town near Tsia named that...?”

“Oh, I guess you two don’t know. There’s a town built around that inn now. Things developed pretty fast. Anyway, that town is called Goren.”

“Neat.” Honestly, we use the name so rarely even I forget it sometimes.

“I’m the town chief, by the way.”

“Dunno if that’s great or just a lot of extra work. Yeah, Muzou?”

“I’m sure Keima can handle it, Uzou.” Where’s all that confidence coming from? Better that than the alternative, but I don’t want people to overestimate me.

“...You know, I guess that happened a year ago.”

“Yep... Er, Keima. There’s something we need to apologize about.”

“We told you we’d get you a new Magic Blade within a year, but, er...” Uzou and Muzou faltered, trailing off. I see what’s going on. They feel bad since they couldn’t find a Magic Blade as soon as they said they would. That’s gotta be it.

“What, the Magic Blade? Don’t worry about it. I can wait another year.” So I said, but Uzou and Muzou shook their heads hard.

“Nah, we did get a Magic Blade! The thing is, uh...”

“It’s a Magic Blade with a problem... Not exactly something we want to give to the guy who saved our lives.”

“A problem? What kind of Magic Blade is it?”

“Y’see, it’s a Magic Blade that has a sleep-inducing effect. That’s good in that it puts your enemies to sleep, but the effect hits everyone, so even the wielder ends up falling asleep.”

“To be real, the wielder’s closest to the Magic Blade, so they generally fall asleep first. We thought about selling it, but everywhere we went would only pay peanuts for it. Scammers, all of’m.”

“That’s...” A Magic Blade that puts people to sleep? If these two are telling the truth, that’s one amazing effect.

“Alright, let’s see it. The Magic Blade. Show me. Now!”

“Wha? I mean, sure, I don’t mind showing it to you.” Uzou took out the still-sheathed Magic Blade from his bag. It was a small, undecorated dagger in a simple sheath. The only thing special about it was the black, round magic stone in the center of its grip. The magic stone was about as large as a water bottle’s cap and was so pitch-black it was like staring into the abyss.

“Hm... How do you use it?”

“If you take it out of its sheath and pour mana into it, the stone’ll start radiating sleep energy.”

“Mind if I try it out?”

“Just a bit. I don’t want to put anyone here asleep.” He unsheathed the Magic Blade.

...Oh, oh...! This is it, ahhh. I love this sleepy feeling. Spectacular. I wanna just fall back and let myself sleep. This is the stuff.

“Sorry, Keima, would you put it away? I’m already sleepy.” At Uzou’s sleepy urging, I sheathed the Magic Blade. It was a good knife. The best knife, even. I would be able to sleep even more than usual with this around.

“You two really don’t mind if I have this?”

“...Er, sorry, Keima. I’m so sleepy I must have misheard you. Did you just say you want this Magic Blade?”

“Yep. I can’t imagine wanting a Magic Blade more than this one.”

“A-Are you being for real?”

“Keima, if we sell that Magic Blade and use the rest of our savings, we could buy a better one for you. Why not wait for that one?”

Uzou, Muzou. What are you two even saying?

“I’ve never seen a Magic Blade better than this one. I’m just not fine with it, I love it!”

“Y-Yeah?”

“Keima...!”

Uh, what? Why is Muzou looking like he’s about to cry? And why is Uzou looking at me with eyes full of pity? C’mon, it’s not like I’m gonna use this knife for fighting.

“What’s the name of this Magic Blade?”

“It doesn’t have a name. Magic Blades are usually named by the first person to use them. It’s your blade, Keima, so you can go ahead and give it a name yourself.” Alright, I thought, and started thinking up a name. Maybe... Rem Dagger, from REM sleep? Actually, nah, I’m pretty sure REM means “rapid eye movement.” That’s not very impressive. Surely there’s a cool sleep-related term out there. Oh, I’ve got it.

“I’ll name it Siesta. The Blade of Afternoon Naps.”

“Heh, the Blade of Afternoon Naps? That’s a pretty chill name for a sword, but I guess it fits this Magic Blade perfectly. Right, Uzou?”

“Yep. Siesta, the Blade of Afternoon Naps. Sounds good, right, Muzou?”

Siesta, the Blade of Afternoon Naps. I had ended up with the best Magic Blade possible. And although I had been given this dagger to pay off a debt, I felt the need to thank them, considering just how how good of a dagger it was. I took the Golem Blade and its scabbard off my hips and handed it to the brothers.

“Sorry that it’s used, but here. You can have it.”

“Keima, this is...”

“The same kind of Magic Blade that was in that trap room. I haven’t named it either, so call it whatever you like.” I hadn’t used it much and it didn’t have a name, so it was as good as new, really. Siesta would be enough to take care of all my blade-related needs. No harm in giving up my Golem Blade.

“Actually, wait. Would be a bit awkward to give you two just one blade. Mmm... Have another one.” I pretended to reach into my bag before grabbing a spare Golem Blade out of {Storage}. It was a knife that I had made in case Niku broke hers, but I figured it would be a good match for Uzou and Muzou, who were a swordsman and scout respectively.

“Y-You don’t mind?”

“Yeah. Consider it my thanks for keeping your promise.”

“Wow... Thanks, we’ll take’m!” They’re basically free to make, so yeah, no problem.

With all that done, Uzou and Muzou left the guild while waving us goodbye. They had a quest to take care of, apparently. Hard workers, those two.

“I know that we can create them at will through the Catalog, but I can’t say I approve of handing out Magic Blades like that. Do you truly have that much DP to spare?” Oh crap. Right, I gotta keep it a secret from Haku that I can just make those for free.

“That’s just how valuable Siesta is to me. Nothing more, nothing less.”

“...It certainly is an interesting Magic Blade, despite its flaws. Not something I would want in my collection, however,” Haku said with a slight smile.

“In any case... I may as well introduce you to the Guildmaster here. Follow me.”

“Wait, Guildmaster? Isn’t that you, Haku?”

“No, I happen to be the Grandmaster. I leave general administration to my subordinates,” said Haku as she went behind the counter. No employee made any move to stop us as we climbed up the stairs and headed straight to the Guildmaster’s room. Haku gave a light knock and waited for a response.

But no response came even after a bit of waiting, so Haku just casually opened the door.

“Nzzz... zzz... bwuuuuh...” Within the Guildmaster’s room was a pink-haired girl with cat ears resting her head on a large desk. Soft sunlight was drifting into the room and warming everything up pleasantly. I was getting the urge to sleep too. Wait, is that the Guildmaster? No way.

Haku quickly took out a large wooden mallet and slammed it down onto the girl’s cat-eared head. A painful thunk resounded and the catgirl shot up. Haku wakes peacefully sleeping people up by slamming their heads with a mallet? What a monster. Sheesh.

“Bwuh?! Wh-What, are we under attack?! Oh! Lady Haku!”

“Good morning, Misha. How is work?”

“Ma’am! No problems to report! There were a few fights, but all was taken care of!” She gave a sharp salute, but her mouth and the desk were covered in saliva. The desk especially had a big pool of it on top.

“Rokuko, Keima. This is the first time you’ve met directly, so I’ll introduce her. This is Misha the Warcat. She is one of my party members and is in truth a dungeon monster.”

“I’m Misha! Although I’m a Warcat, in the Guild I pass myself off as a cat beastkin!”

“Wow, a spunky cat! I’m Rokuko.”

“I’m Keima. Nice to, uh, meet you?” She looked like a normal cute girl, but with cat ears and a cat tail. Do cat beastkin and Warcats look the same? She definitely has a magic stone somewhere in her body, at least, since she’s a monster.

“This is, more or less, her human form. If she ended the transformation, her arms would grow fur down to her elbows. She’s even more fluffy that way.” Oh, she can transform like that. And she’s even more fluffy in her normal form, huh?

“Despite what it may seem, Misha is an active A-Rank adventurer, so her presence here helps stave off trouble. She has the strength to back up her reputation, too. Though... I must admit, she partially ended up here because there was little else I could entrust her with.” I see... Putting the right people in the right place is pretty important, yeah.

“Rude! I may not look like it, but I’m really smart. I mean, I easily solved that ‘simple’ riddle that even Haku couldn’t figure out!”

“.........” Haku silently pinched Misha.

“Gyah?! Please don’t pinch me, Lady Hakuuu!” Ah, that one riddle from our first Dungeon Battle. It’s a trick riddle that begins with the line, “The answer to this riddle is simple.” The smarter you are, the harder it is to solve, and it looks like this girl’s the one who figured it out. It’s a riddle you can solve in a snap by not thinking too hard about it, so yeah, makes sense.

“...You were sleeping on the job. Expect a severe punishment later.”

“Ah?! I-I’m so sorryyy!” And thus Haku decided to punish Misha, partially for good reason, and partially to vent anger.

We left the Adventurer’s Guild and ate lunch at an expensive restaurant. I was so nervous I barely tasted the food, but it was probably better than the food we served at our inn. I definitely want to bring Kinue here and have her steal their recipes.

The only thing was, I felt so tired that I just took a nap in the park after eating. I mean, we can keep sightseeing tomorrow, so what’s the problem?

...Alright, alright. I only took a nap because Rokuko and Haku went off to buy dresses for an evening party or something. Why didn’t you buy them at the store we just went to? Oh, this is a different place? We went to a normal daily life clothing store, and evening dresses have their own special store? I guess it’s like going to a suit store as opposed to buying one at a department store. Though uh, in what world is a bunny suit “daily life” clothing? This world, I guess.

...Anyway, it felt like I had slept for about five hours, but Haku and Rokuko were just getting back as I woke up. The sun was already starting to set.

“Uh-huh, I knew Keima would go to sleep.”

“Wait, he actually went to sleep? He’s been asleep this whole time? I thought for sure that he was just saying he would sleep for our sake.”

“No, no, Haku... Keima’s the type to sleep whenever he has the opportunity!” By the way, Niku had watched over me the entire time that I was asleep on the park bench. I mean, I appreciate that, but are you sure you’re fine doing that? I gave you a silver and said you could spend it wherever you like while I’m asleep.

“...I enjoyed myself.” I don’t know how, but if you’re satisfied, I am too.

And thus, night fell. It was finally time for the underground coliseum where monsters and warriors fought for the crowd’s entertainment. There were various rules and regulations, but naturally, everyone’s favorite competition was the “Anything Goes Deathmatch.”

To reach the underground coliseum, we first returned to Haku’s villa and then got into a carriage. By the way, Haku had returned to her normal adult form. The only difference was that she was wearing a white masquerade eyemask that only barely covered part of her face. It was a simple mask, but three blue gemstones were embedded beneath her right eye in the shape of shooting stars. It looked pretty stylish.

“...Why’d you go back to normal?”

“My my, this is such a rare opportunity. Don’t you want to view the fights from a special seat? This will be more convenient for me, personally. Here, Rokuko, a matching mask for you. Keima doesn’t need one, I imagine.”

“Yaaay, thank you!” I guess her being in adult form is important in hiding her identity somehow. Also, she didn’t even bring up Niku. Not that anybody would recognize either of us.

“...Wouldn’t Niku and I stand out if we’re not wearing masks?”

“Oh, fine. Here you go.” Rokuko’s eyemask had two gems under the right eye, but mine and Niku’s didn’t have any. I felt there was something meaningful about that. The gems were a stealthy way of expressing one’s status, or something like that.

“You will be considered my company for the sake of this, so do try not to embarrass me.”

“I’ll be careful.”

“Incidentally, those not wearing masks will be considered arena warriors. I truly was hoping to see just how much of a fighter you really are, Keima. Oh well.”

“...Heh. I’m guessing masks without gems signify servants?”

“Ahaha.” I knew it. That was close.

The carriage entered a tunnel that took us underground. Suddenly, the tunnel opened up into a massive room, and there inside was a spectacular coliseum. At first I was impressed at the level of engineering required to build such a structure underground, but then I remembered dungeons could do stuff like this in a snap. Even I had built one in my dungeon.

Haku guided us into the coliseum and soon we were in a VIP seating room with a great view. There were only chairs for Haku and Rokuko. Eh, that’s fine. I don’t mind standing.

The coliseum grounds consisted of a flat field. There was a fight in progress consisting solely of monsters. A massive quadrupedal Big Boar and a human-sized Minotaur were exchanging dramatic blows. The Big Boar charged, but the Minotaur grabbed its tusks and held it back. Despite how his feet were digging into the ground from the force, he used his bulging muscles to throw the creature to the side in what was a very impressive sight.

“Now, which of these two will lose and end up as tomorrow’s breakfast?!” C’mon, commentator, you’re making me hungry and I’m not even Ichika. Oh, wait. I just remembered I never ate dinner.

“Impressive, isn’t it?”

“Uh-huh. It’s like... The sounds are just amazing. It’s like I can feel the fight from here” Each time the two monsters clashed, loud bangs and crashes rang out that literally shook the air.

Things ended when the Big Boar stumbled onto the ground and the Minotaur successfully mounted it, punching the pig’s soft stomach over and over while roaring a cry of victory.

“Incidentally, we truly do serve fallen monsters as food. That’s why this particular bout is quite popular. Both are cheap monsters as well.”

“Oh, so these are monsters you buy with DP?”

“Indeed. I imagine you won’t recognize the name, but I have Dolce manage this coliseum. She’s a member of my party, just like Misha, and is an extremely skilled Tamer. You can imagine the connection there.” I mean, yeah, she can summon monsters that’ll listen to everything she says. If that’s not a top-tier Tamer I don’t know what is.

“Now then, since the hype is in the air, let me introduce our next challeng— Wait, what? Really? Like, seriously? The boss said OK? Er... Ah, excuse me. Ahem. Let me introduce our next challengers!” I wonder why the announcer stumbled there. What’s up with the next challengers? My question was immediately answered.

“This challenge came in unannounced, burning with passion! It’s the Adventurer Guild’s one and only Guildmaster, MISHAAA! The cat beastkin that runs the head Adventurer’s Guild is here to show off her strength! She looks like a young girl, and she’s got the brains of one too, but nobody knows her true age! But she’s undoubtedly got the strength of a top-class grappler! Her A-Rank isn’t for show! Though, honestly... Should an A-Rank adventurer really be here? Should a Guildmaster be fighting in this questionably legal underground coliseum?!”

“Shut it! Aaah, geez, I can’t believe Lady Haku made me come here... Well, she said she’d overlook my afternoon nap if I beat the monsters here, so whatever! Ahaha, I’m gonna win for sure!” Oh, it’s Misha. I looked at Haku and she gave me a nasty grin. Guess this is her punishment.

“She will be facing a monster of her own request, the star darling of our coliseum, the Big Tentacle Slime! It has wiggly transparent tentacles and a slime body! Immune to physical attacks, well, it’s the perverted monster you all know and love! That Misha the grappler would ask to face a monster immune to her physical attacks shows just how burning her challenger spirit is!” Yeaaaah... This is her punishment.

A slime that looked like a sea anemone slid its way into the coliseum. It looked about twice as tall as Misha. As described by the announcer, it was wiggling its tentacles all over the place.

“Wait, what? No, I didn’t ask for this. Wait, no! NOOO! KYAAAAH!” The screams of an A-Rank adventurer echoed throughout the coliseum. Haku, by the way, was covering Rokuko’s eyes from behind.

“Um, Haku? I can’t see.”

“Wait just oooone moment, Rokuko. I’m punishing my slovenly subordinate right now.”

Back in the coliseum, Misha was in quite the pickle. A slimy, wiggly pickle. I went ahead and covered Niku’s eyes too.

Though honestly, it was amazing how long she managed to avoid the tentacles before getting caught. Pretty sure I saw after-images of her dashing everywhere. Too bad she didn’t last!

Day 363

“As expected, quite a significant amount of work has built up over your three day holiday...”

“Gracious. Can’t you handle that all yourself, Chloe? I’m busy spending time with my sweet Rokuko.”

“I’m afraid that’s not possible.”

“Ah, erm, fine then. I-I will work today! However, I will finish all three days’ worth of work at once! I will take another day off tomorrow!” And with that, Chloe dragged Haku away. There was apparently a lot of work the ruler of the Empire had to do... Wait, why’s Haku got a lot of work? Isn’t she retired? Living a nice easygoing life in her villa? Oh, I see. She’s an ultra competent immortal that doesn’t need to worry about handing over power to descendants or growing senile. The Empire needs her continued involvement to prosper. Uh-huh. That’s the kind of idea competent people have, but I’m gonna make sure other people do all my work for me so I can sleep all the time. I swear it.

In any case, Haku wasn’t with us today, so we decided to go to the beach not far off from the Imperial Capital. It was a sandy beach, and although the weather was too cold for us to wear swimsuits, how could I resist?

“...IT’S THE BEAAAAACH!”

“Bwuh, what the heck? What’re you screaming about, Keima?” I followed my heart and yelled at the beach. The beach was pure white without a bit of trash on it, and the ocean was a clear deep blue. Warm sunlight streamed from above. This would be the perfect place for building a beach house to nap in. Napping while feeling the ocean breeze in a beach house... Hell yes. Too bad it’s not summer yet.

There was a section of the beach closer to the Imperial Capital reserved for vacationing nobles, so there were no buildings where we were. Haku planned to take Chloe and the rest of her party to the vacationing spot later. She was using her Dungeon powers to make that section of the beach have an everlasting summer, which meant they could have beach fun all throughout the year.

But we were visiting a part of the beach with nothing. We had gotten here through the assistance of Dolce, one of Haku’s party members-slash-subordinates. All of Haku’s party members, excluding Misha, could use the magic skill {Teleportation}. Indeed. Everyone except Misha, who had just barely protected her chastity after realizing in the nick of time that she could cover her fists with mana to beat back the Big Tentacle Slime.

Dolce, who was clad in a long white robe akin to that of a white mage from a certain RPG series, was laying exhausted beneath the shade of some rocks. The sun didn’t particularly hurt her in human form, but as a Wraith, she wasn’t very fond of bright places like the beach.

“Guuuh, the sun should just go and die... I’m gonna melt...”

“Er, uhh, there’s some sea roaches over there.”

“...That’s fine. I actually like bugs and spiders and stuff. Ahaha, wiggle wiggle...” Okaaaay... Let’s leave Dolce alone then.

I looked around for some shade I could sleep in too, though I had a beach chair and parasol just in case.

“Wait, didn’t we come here to look for a spot to build our dungeon?! Why are you going to sleep?!”

“...Good point. Uhhh, that cliff over there looks real good. It’s like the kinda place where a detective and a wanted suspect would have a standoff.”

“What even the heck does that mean? Do your job, Keima.” I mean, honestly, it hit me the other day that we’re just gonna be digging the dungeon into the ground. It really doesn’t matter where we do that. The biggest difference would be where I would be able to teleport afterwards. Do I want to visit the beach whenever I want and make salt or something? That’s the real question to consider.

“You know, it’s the first time I’ve ever been to the ocean, but it kinda just stinks.”

“That’s the smell of salt water. It doesn’t stink as much as the oceans I remember. No biggie for me.”

“It smells kinda like fish. Hmmm... Keima. Could we use sea monsters or something, maybe?” Sea monsters, huh? Now there’s an idea. Sharks? A kraken? I opened the menu and checked the Catalog. We couldn’t summon any of them since we weren’t in a dungeon, but we could look at the prices. Let’s see here... Oh hoh, a two headed shark. There’s ghost sharks and flying sharks too. Man, sharks are great.

I can’t ignore the giant squids or massive nautiluses either. There are some humanoid monsters like sahuagins and mermaids too, not to mention jellyfish and sea cucumbers. The ocean sure is brimming with life. Wait... Dagon? Oh god. I get the feeling I shouldn’t look at this thing for too long, not even through the Catalog. Especially since it costs over a hundred million DP. It’s got nothing to do with us right now.

All this made me notice something about the Catalog. The various sea creatures tended to be cheap. On the other hand, mountainy stuff like the Volcano Zone and Wyverns tended to be more expensive. A single Iron Golem at Tsia Mountain would cost 500 DP, but here it was 2,000 DP—four times as much.

“...Do the prices of things change according to where you are?”

“Lemme see... Hmm? It looks like Goblins still cost 20 DP.” Why’d she check Goblins first? Never change, Rokuko.

...Oh, ghost-type monsters are cheaper too? Makes sense, oceans seem kinda spooky at times. Though ghosts show up in mountains sometimes too.

“I get it. By changing the price of monsters, they encourage the dungeon to match its environment and be more unique. I bet the Dungeon Core and Dungeon Master have some influence on the Catalog too.”

“What the heck, Keima, isn’t it a little late to be noticing that? No way would all that Japanese food and whatever be in the Catalog without you around.” Oh, being able to buy Japanese stuff with DP is something only I can do? Maybe Golems being bipedal is relevant too. Haku uses a lot of humanoid monsters with two arms and legs, for instance. Hmm... In that case, getting to know our enemy would be smart. We could plan ahead to counter what they summon.

“Hey, Rokuko. What kind of Dungeon Cores are we fighting?”

“Mmm, let’s see. The Dragon King team has three Cores: a snake, a frog, and a slug.” Well, that’s a varied trio. A reptile, an amphibian, and a... What’s a slug, again? A kind of mollusk? Either way, he’ll probably be able to summon all sorts of slimy wiggly monsters for cheap.

“And the Demon King team, um... Core 666 is taking a human form, but she’s really a... Huh. Sorry, I forgot.”

“I’ll try asking Haku tomorrow.” For now, it was time to use the beach chair and parasol I had put into my {Storage} ahead of time. I stabbed the parasol into the sand and spread out on the beach chair beneath its shade. The back and forth of the waves was nice background music. A perfect napping spot.

“...Niku, um, I’ve heard that people pass time at the beach by making castles out of sand.”

“Okay. I’ll make one with you.”

When I woke up that afternoon, there was no sandcastle. Maybe the waves had washed it away, maybe they had just given up. The world may never know.

Day 364

Today we were investigating a mountain, this time led by Amelia the Lamia. Haku had unfortunately been unable to finish her work. Once again she was crammed in her office doing paper work. Ahhh, feels amazing.

“May I request your help, Rokuko?”

“Um, what should I do, Chloe?”

“Please say ‘I’m so glad I have a hard-working older sister, Haku! You’re so cool!’”

“I’m on it.”

Thanks to a little assistance, Haku’s enthusiasm was restored and she got right back to digging through the mountain of paperwork waiting for her. Sorry, Haku, but I’m gonna use this opportunity to enjoy a nice leisurely stroll through a comfy forest under the guise of scouting it out. Or to be more specific, I’m gonna nap.

“...Erm, if I may interject for a moment, I would like to say that Haku is normally quite competent. Incredibly so, really. It’s just that, when it involves you, she... Erm. She relaxes, shall we say. She lets herself loose and...”

“Ah, right. I, um, I get it. Don’t worry.”

“Forgive me...” It’s not your fault, Amelia. We’re on your side here.

Anyway. We were visiting a mountain just barely still in Imperial territory, as close to the demon lands as we could manage. It was the first place Haku had suggested during our initial strategy meeting. The trees were plentiful and the pleasant rustling of leaves in the wind tickled my ears.

First things first, I opened the DP Catalog. Hmm... Looks like most things cost about the same as they do at Tsia Mountain. Haku’s recommendation holds some weight. She knows her stuff. I’ll definitely be able to make a dungeon here using the same strategies I’ve already learned. I could even make a dungeon identical to the [Cave of Greed], more or less. But that would be showing her all the cards in my hand.

...Haku wasn’t with us at the moment, but as the dungeon would be part of her territory, she could use the menu’s monitor to see every inch of it. I had to be careful.

“I wanted to ask Haku about Core 666, but I guess I missed that chance.” I went ahead and took a certain something out of {Storage}.

“Um, Keima? What’s with that net? Are you gonna catch a wild boar or something?”

“Nope, this is called a hammock and it’s for sleeping!” By the way, I had prepared both a netted hammock and one with with a tapestry-esque bottom to lay on. My plan was to experiment and see which was easier to sleep on.

“Hm, that certainly seems entertaining.” Amelia slithered forward, joining our conversation. Suffice to say that she had undone her human transformation after we reached the mountains. Her bottom half was all snake, just like I’d expect from a Lamia. Dang, she’s like seven meters long.

“Whenever I sleep outside, I tend to coil myself around a tree.”

“Oh? That sure is an advanced sleeping technique only a Lamia could pull off. Sounds pretty nice.”

“It certainly is. I wrap myself around a tree and rest my upper body on a thick branch. In any case. How do you use that, erm, tool that you called a hammock?”

“Check it out.” Figuring that seeing it in action would be better than any explanation, I looked around for a good set of trees. Luckily, the forest was full of trees. I got Niku to drive the ends of the hooks into a perfect pair of trees and thus the hammock was ready. I got onto it carefully, making sure to balance my weight so I wouldn’t fall right off. The net pulling against me made me feel kind of like an orange. I wonder how the tapestry one would feel.

“Like this. It’s pretty comfy, honestly.”

“I see, I see. Hmm... Do you have a longer one of these? Perhaps one about seven meters long?”

“Unfortunately not on me. But they’re pretty simple to make, I’m sure you could fashion one yourself without much trouble.”

“I see, certainly. A hammock such as this would allow me to sleep peacefully with my legs stretched all the way out.” Er, legs? You’re gonna call your snake half “legs”? Uhhhhh... Is it just me, or did she get a lot sexier all of a sudden? Why is a snake tail so much hotter when I think of it as a pair of legs? Oh god.

My troubled thoughts were interrupted by Rokuko poking the hammock and me from the side. I swayed back and forth.

“Hey, Keima. Couldn’t you do this at our dungeon too?”

“Variety is the spice of life.”

“Hmmm. Well, I’m going to go look around.” Speaking of which, Rokuko didn’t usually go outside that much. She was basically a shut-in, maybe due to having developed a habit of staying inside her dungeon. But her personality was definitely more on the active and energetic side. Honestly, it’s hard to tell if she’s an indoors or outdoors kind of person.

“Yeah, go ahead. You should be safe with Amelia around.”

“You sure? You’ll be all on your own and defenseless, Keima. What’ll happen if wild mountain animals attack you?” Ah, yeah, that’d be pretty serious. I forgot that bears exist and mess people the heck up.

“I will protect Master.”

“Ahhh, cute little slave girl, I’m sorry. This is very difficult for me to say, but the monsters around here are quite dangerous. Leaving my presence would put any of you at great risk. There’s a High Orc settlement nearby, for instance... They won’t attack with me around, however. I am stronger than I look.” High Orcs were a stronger Orc species and each was fairly deadly on its own. They weren’t as strong as Dragons, but they would kick my absolute crap in. A settlement of them would require two or three veteran knight platoons to clear out.

Incidentally, that settlement was one of many under Haku’s management and served as a reserve force for battles with the demon army. Amelia could probably negotiate with them to leave us alone, but that would probably fall under “help from the senior cores,” so I want to avoid it if possible. Haku told me to deal with mercenaries on my own, after all. In which case, well, it was best to stick together.

“...Well, putting aside all the monsters and wild animals, all the bugs around here are a pain in the butt. This place isn’t as comfy as the ocean, so... Alright. I’ll tag along on your little jungle adventure.”

“Yay! Let’s go, Keima.” With Rokuko smiling brightly in the lead, I followed her after a good stretch. Hey. I didn’t agree to go ’cause she was radiating a “please come with me” aura harder than a melting down nuclear reactor of desperation. The hammock just wasn’t a good fit for me. Simple as that.

“Keima, is this mushroom edible?! It looks super blue!”

“Hey, don’t touch that. There are some mushrooms so dangerous you can’t even touch them, and that one’s obviously poisonous. Leave it alone.”

“Ah, that one’s edible.”

“Seriously?!”

“Oh, I misspoke. It’s edible for us Lamia. A normal human would die instantly.”

“...Maybe I’ll be safe since I’m a Dungeon Core.”

“I seem to recall Haku saying that it was better for her not to eat them.”

“Miss Amelia, what about this one?”

“Oh, little girl. That mushroom is quite tasty and edible even for humans. Let us make a soup with it later.”

And so we went on a surprisingly fun walk, with Rokuko picking up every poisonous plant imaginable and Niku gathering edible fruits and mushrooms. Thanks to Rokuko, I ended up fairly informed on the poisonous plants of the region. Hahaha! I wonder if any of this will be useful at some point. I sure bet it’ll help if we make the dungeon here.

Day 365

Today we were checking out a sizable grassy plain. It was wide and flat enough that I could see a military platoon training here. Haku, and for some reason Misha, were both with us. Misha was holding a large umbrella to shield Haku and Rokuko from the sun. Isn’t that kind of thing Chloe’s job?

“Chloe can handle paperwork, but Misha cannot. I imagine that will suffice as an explanation.” Yep. Giving the right people the right job is important.

Haku walked along the plains, grinning to herself. Reason being, Rokuko was holding her hand as they walked together. They looked like they were going on a picnic.

“In any case, I would rather not build a dungeon here, considering I do in fact use these plains for military drills. I’d prefer us to move closer to my Empire’s borders.”

“You really are planning on using the dungeon for war, huh?”

“But of course. Why would I lose out on the dead’s DP by fighting anywhere else? Not to mention that undead monsters are quite cheap.” Man, she’s been smiling hard for a while. She must be really glad that she finished up her work and gets to go out with Rokuko again. I checked the DP Catalog and saw that four-legged animals such as buffaloes and boars were cheaper. Not to mention rabbits.

“In any case. Would you care to have a mock duel with Misha today, Keima?” Haku clapped her hands together with a bright smile. The hell is this woman saying?

“This is your opportunity to have a direct duel with an active A-Rank adventurer. Feel free to cry tears of joy, we can wait.”

“Uh, no thanks. I’m a Dungeon Master. My job’s to stay deep inside a dungeon and cackle menacingly, not fight.”

“I can’t have a B-Rank adventurer incapable of combat running about.”

“What about Rokuko?”

“She is perfectly fine as is. Can’t you tell that her cuteness is already S-Rank? Not to mention that it would be the height of incompetence to expose a Dungeon Core to danger.” She was treating me a lot worse than Rokuko, but eh... I was used to it.

“How about we compromise and let Niku duel Misha instead?” Rokuko piped in to make a suggestion. I glanced at Niku. Her expression didn’t change, but I sensed that she was more than willing to fight.

“Alright, fine. Go ahead and give Niku a little training. Be gentle.”

“May the best fighter win, Miss Misha.”

“Right! Let’s do it!” Misha gave her chest a few pounds, sending her boobs jiggling.

“Now then... O Seed, may you sprout and grow. Stretch to the sky — {Grow Wood}.” Haku chanted a spell and made a single tree grow. Misha put her umbrella into {Storage} and in its place spread a blanket beneath the newly sprouted tree’s shade. Did she really just grow an entire tree to use as shade? Seriously?

“Now, Rokuko. We can watch the fight from here.”

“Okay.” I went to the shade too. Haku wouldn’t let me sit on the blanket, but she didn’t complain about me getting in the shade. Niku unsheathed her Golem Knife and faced off with Misha. Misha, in contrast, was barehanded. We had just seen in the coliseum yesterday that she was a grappler that fought without weapons. This was a duel, but Niku’s weapon was real. Haku herself said that was fine, and Misha in her confidence agreed.

“So. Are you ready?”

“Yes.” Misha was standing lazily in place, not even trying to enter a battle stance. Niku charged forward with a slice to exploit that. But Misha pushed the blade aside and dodged the strike without taking a single step.

“Hm, that’s a nice blade. And you’re skilled with it. I smell a lot of potential. Anyway, try again if you want. I’m not gonna take a single step.”

“...Hyah!”

“Whoa now.” The sharp clang of metal hitting metal screeched through the air. The sound came from Misha’s foot and Niku’s Golem Knife. A closer look showed that the aura surrounding Misha had blocked her knife.

“Ahaha. To think you’d aim for my feet the second I said I wouldn’t take a single step... Your master sure has trained you well.”

“You blocked it... Hm.” Niku slid backwards, taking her distance. Misha scratched her head. She had no intention of attacking herself.

“What was that?”

“{Hard Chi}, certainly. It creates an incredibly hard aura of energy around the user. Now, Misha, it’s your loss if you take a single step.”

“Whaaa?! H-Hold on, Haku, please! That’s just too much! At least let me use kicks!”

“Hear that, Niku? Use as many skills as you got. I’ll give you a nice reward if you win.”

“Understood. O Fire, become a sphere and smite my enemy — {Fireball}.”

“Gah, what?! You shot a fireball at my feet! Gaaah, so hot! Hooot!” Misha responded to Niku’s merciless use of magic skills with a long range skill of her own, {Distant Strike}, landing a clean hit. Niku rushed forward and sliced away at her feet, but Misha just blocked them with {Hard Chi} before landing a clean counter on her.

And so...

“Up you go.”

“Ngh! Ah, nooo!” Misha followed up the counter with a hearty throw, resulting in Niku hitting the ground with her stomach. She then held her down from the back, preventing her from getting up or really moving at all.

That was that. In the end, Niku didn’t manage to make Misha move even a single step.

“Whew. How was that, Haku? I won!”

“Congratulations. I’m both impressed and ashamed that you’re capable of feeling pride from beating up a small child.”

“Awwww...”

Niku stood up and walked up to me.

“I lost. Please forgive me...”

“Hey, you did pretty well for fighting an A-Rank adventurer.” Niku was originally D-Rank, so this was just the natural result. I rubbed her head. She closed her eyes blissfully and wagged her tail.

“Now it’s your turn, Keima. It will be your win if you can make her move a single step. Hm... And if you win, I’ll give you information on Core 666.” Haku gave a slight smile. Hm. Amelia must have reported what I said to her. Ehhhh... Is she really not gonna tell me if I lose? I guess us losing the Dungeon Battle would give her a legal way to keep Rokuko close at hand at all times, so... Ugh.

“...Alright. Mind if I get a free hit in first?”

“Well, I suppose that won’t be an issue. Do you mind, Misha?”

“Honestly, that dog girl is definitely way stronger than him, so sure. Lemme take a stance first, though.” Misha spread her legs far apart and lowered her hips. That was a safe, defensive style. Or so I thought before she started lifting her feet and slamming them into the ground like a sumo wrestler would. Yeah, she’s not taking me seriously, is she?

I shot her a look, telling her I was ready to go. I’m gonna wipe that smug smirk right off your face.

“Keima, knock her down in one blow!”

“Do your best, Master.”

“Yep.” I stood in front of Misha as Rokuko and Niku cheered me on. I then tossed a small magic stone beneath Misha’s feet and started chanting. “Mass of earth, change your shape and become a servant that obeys my every command — {Create Golem}.”

“Bwuh?! He’s making a Golem beneath my feet?!” Misha jumped to the side. It was my win. Idiot, what kind of Dungeon Master would fight fair? The best stance in the world won’t matter if the ground underneath you turns upside down.

“Alright, I win.”

“You’re as cheap as ever, Keima. There’s nobody else in the world nearly as cowardly and unfair as you are.” Rokuko smiled. Uh, was that supposed to be a compliment? I bet it was. Is being cowardly and unfair a compliment for a Dungeon Master? I guess so.

“...Oh my, oh my, it seems you’ve lost, Misha.”

“Wait, um! I mean, that was just unfair, right?!”

“The conditions were you’d lose if you took a step, and you jumped away. I cannot imagine a more stunning failure. It was your fault for not preparing to defend against Earth magic the moment those rules were established. Ahaha. You said you were ‘really smart’ earlier, but I see that could not be further from the truth.”

“Aww... uwaaah...” Misha started crying, but Haku didn’t budge.

“Now then. Information about Core 666. Ask anything you like, I will answer if I can.”

“Alright, let’s get straight to the point then. What type of Core is 666? Like, what species?” Haku closed her eyes in thought, trying to remember.

“I have only vague memories of her true form, given how long she’s been shapeshifting. She isn’t human-type, and she is part of the Demon King faction, so... I imagine she’s either item-type or demon-type.” Item-type? Before I could even ask, Haku elaborated.

“I have Living Armor under my employ. Item-type Cores are that kind of thing. You know, like fake treasure chests. Mimics.” Huh, I see. Guess I should expect that kind of thing to show up in the Dungeon Battle.

“Let’s see. Although this is information Rokuko knows as well, she has red hair and wields a flaming Magic Blade. Do you remember how the rules for victory are to ‘destroy’ the Dummy Core this time, not touch it? It was Core 666 who suggested that change.”

“Oh yeah. I forgot about that. She definitely just wants to destroy stuff.”

“Seriously, Rokuko? That’s some important info.”

“What, that she wants to destroy stuff?”

“No, that she’s the one who suggested the change.” If she actively requested the change, then there’s some meaningful intent behind it. A hidden reason why she would want to do that. It could potentially be nothing... but still, Core 666 definitely had some reason why she went out of her way to suggest it. At the very least, it was inconvenient to us. We could no longer win by sending in a swarm of rats. Dummy Cores were naturally too tough for rats to break.

“That’s about all I can tell you about Core 666. It’s rude to talk about the true forms of Cores taking human shape, in any case.” Haku ended the conversation there. I didn’t care about Dungeon Core manners or whatever, but from Haku’s perspective, she had told me the minimum amount necessary.

“More importantly, Keima. That was quite an impressive {Create Golem}.”

“Yeah? It’s my specialty, I’d say. {Create Golem}.” I ended up showing her one of my trump cards, but I had already intended to show it to her anyway. The fact I could make Golems without using DP was a clear sign I knew the skill, there was no hiding it from her. And although it was a somewhat rare skill, it wasn’t so rare that it’d be surprising for a normal adventurer to have it. And since it was right in the DP Catalog, a Dungeon Core like Haku would know about it.

“Skills of the ‘create’ and ‘summon’ variety allow you to create monsters without spending much DP... Ahaha. I haven’t done it lately, but I recall doing that quite a bit in my youth.” Figures. Haku definitely wouldn’t have overlooked a strategy with this great of a cost-performance ratio.

Summon skills involved summoning a wild monster from somewhere in the world and binding them to the summoner’s will. They drained mana as long as they were active, which made them a poor fit for dungeons most of the time, but summoning a strong monster right as a boss was needed was a fairly solid strategy. Also, the strength of the summon monster changed how much mana they drained.

“I’d appreciate it if you would recommend me the best create and summon skills you know of.”

“Oh my, can’t you see the DP Catalog? I recommend all of those.” Well... I guess one strategy would be to use all our 500,000 DP on skill scrolls. Even if we lose our dungeon, the scrolls we bought would last forever.

“There is a more advanced form of {Create Golem}, you know. {Summon Golem}. With some proper training you will soon learn to summon even Stone Golems and Iron Golems at will.”

“Interesting. Very interesting.” If I fiddled with the chant properly, I might learn to summon Mythril Golems and Orichalcum Golems too. Might even be a good way to fill in a Dungeon Boss room.

While I was thinking about that, Niku asked Misha to train her.

“Lady Misha, I want to grow stronger. Please train me.”

“Sure, sure. Beastkin and Warbeasts are like, family, y’know? Let’s be friends, little Kuroinu.” Misha stuck out her right hand. Niku nodded firmly and shook Misha’s hand. Misha then punched Niku in the stomach with her left fist. Niku flew back about three meters.

“Bwahaha! A little pup like you doesn’t need fancy training! My motto is to learn through real battles! No mercy, even for kids! A fool who lets their guard down on the battlefield gets killed on the spot!”

“Ngh... I wasn’t careful enough...”

“You can still stand, right? I’ll hold back just enough to not permanently damage you, so fear not. Just take the beating. Promising adventurers are the treasure of our Guild. But always remember! Cat girls are superior to dog girls! Carve that into your soul!”

“No mercy? I wouldn’t have it any other way...!”

Cats and dogs were apparently just as competitive in this world, as Misha eagerly set about bullying Niku in the name of training. When she got hurt enough, Haku would cast {Healing}, allowing her to rejoin the fight and get hurt all over again. This continued until evening, and Niku never managed to land a single blow on Misha the whole time.

“...Whew. You’ve got a lot of talent for a dog girl. I’m betting you have a bright future ahead of you.”

“Yes... Thank you very much...” Niku was collapsed to the ground, exhausted. Good work. No seriously, good work. Supper tonight’s gonna be all you can eat hamburgers for Niku.

Meanwhile, Rokuko had fallen asleep on Haku’s lap at some point. Man, I would kill to use those thighs as a pillow. Too bad they’re just for Rokuko.

“...Ah! Are they done?”

“Oh my, you’ve woken up? Good timing, my sweet Rokuko. They just finished.”

“...Ah, s-sorry, Haku, I drooled on you! Let me use {Purification} real fast!”

“Ahaha. No need for that, my dear.”

As an aside, Misha could apparently fight for seven days straight without a single break. Man, fighting for a whole week without sleep is basically inhuman... Oh. Right, she’s a Warcat.

...Aaanyway, watching them sure got me tired. I’ll take a nap once we get home. With Niku as my daki, of course.

Day 368 — Day 3 of Year 2

I think it’s about time to make the dungeon. We took a look around the Empire and learned a lot. I had decided on where to build the dungeon, so the only thing left to do was actually dig it out.

With that in mind, it was time to have one last meeting about the dungeon. Rokuko fell asleep seconds after it started, tuckered out from all her playing around. Look at that happy sleeping smile. God I wish that were me. Haku had no issue with Rokuko sleeping and covered her with a blanket. Isn’t that being a little too forgiving? I mean, this is her dungeon we’re gonna be talking about.

“Now then, Keima. Where would you like to build the dungeon, I wonder?”

“I was thinking about making it here.” I pointed to a part of the map. To be more specific, the middle of the ocean.

“...Keima, are you by chance mocking me?” Haku gave me a grin filled with the most intense murderous rage I had ever seen in my life. Jesus fucking Christ I almost pissed myself.

“No, I’m being serious! I’m not joking at all!”

“Please explain yourself. We senior Cores have been given the right to hear our juniors’ plans by Father, under the name of giving them advice.”

“C-Certainly! Here, allow me to explain every detail of my strategy!” The more polite Haku sounded, the more furious she looked. She was definitely doing it on purpose but holy fuck it was scary.

The gimmick I had thought up this time was simple: Build the dungeon at the bottom of the ocean. Think about it. What would happen if you built a dungeon underwater? You couldn’t breathe inside it. Too much water. What’s that, you say? Such a dungeon would be impossible to conquer? Nonsense. It would be a normal dungeon, just filled with water. We could invade the enemy’s dungeons using water-based entities like I did back when flooding the [Flame Caverns]. Plankton were a little too, er, dumb and immobile to explore dungeons, but tiny fish would suffice. My plan was to flood our enemy dungeons with a tsunami and destroy them with sardines.

It was a plan only an ocean-based dungeon could pull off. This way, I wouldn’t be revealing any of my trump cards to Haku. I had used a similar “conquering through numbers” method with the rats, so Haku already knew about that. All I had to do was summon some kind of shark to destroy their Dummy Core and we were good.

...I had no idea how effective this plan would be against Core 666’s item-type or demon-type monsters, but the idiot trio should get absolutely destroyed. That would allow us to focus our efforts on beating Core 666.

“And that’s that. If all goes well, the Dungeon Battle will end up as a one on one between Core 666 and us.”

“I see. A very logical plan, I’ll give you that... But how do you intend to build a dungeon on the bottom of the ocean?”

“Well, I figured I could just fiddle around on the menu and stuff.”

“Building amidst the water, and so far from the surface... Will 500,000 DP suffice?” I figured that 500,000 DP would be plenty for pretty much anything. Was I wrong?

“The minimum requirement for building [Rooms] and [Hallways] is that humans must be able to survive within them. You won’t be able to build rooms in water. You would need to create bubble-esque domes to enable them to breathe. Not to mention that maintaining the walls will be a constant, inefficient drain of DP.” Oh, really? Dang. And I guess from her tone of voice that she’s actually tried this before.

...A bubble dome, huh. Makes me think of the Ryugu Palace. Maybe I should throw in a Dragon for laughs.

“The likely result will be a constant, speedy loop of the dungeon walls falling apart and being repaired. It looks quite nice, but isn’t practical. I therefore cannot approve of your plan to build a dungeon at the bottom of the ocean.”

“That’s fair. We’ll build it somewhere else.” As one would expect from an extremely ancient Core, she had shared valuable advice from a position of experience. Ahhh... Wait. This flow of information, or “advice” as you might call it, is probably exactly what Father was hoping for. Not that I’m upset about it.

“Let’s build it here instead.” I pointed at the beach this time.

“Oh, the beach? Might I ask why?”

“Simple. If we can’t build it underwater, we’ll build it on land, then flood it with water.” I knew from my own experience that one could flood an already built dungeon with water.

Upon hearing my plan, Haku grimaced and rubbed her temples.

“...Where in the world do you get your outlandish ideas...?”

“Can it work?”

“Yes, it can. It certainly can. But flooding a dungeon you’ve built yourself is like... putting the cart before the horse. How will you live inside of it?” Huh? I don’t get it.

“Why is the livability of the dungeon even a question? Don’t dungeons exist to kill their enemies? And this is a dungeon we’re building exclusively for a Dungeon Battle. If we want a home, we have our [Cave of Greed] waiting for us.”

“...Ah, I see. I forgot that you are a human. You don’t see Dungeons as places to live in. You do realize that if we win, this dungeon will become something of a vacation home for sweet little Rokuko, yes? Wouldn’t you hate to have a flooded vacation home?” Haku glanced at Rokuko. Alas, Rokuko hadn’t spoken a single word since the meeting started. Reason being that she had been asleep in her chair the entire time, which suited me perfectly. No chance of a sleeping person complaining about a flooded vacation home.

“Haku. There’s a famous saying where I come from.”

“Oh, an idiom from another world? Consider me interested.”

I coughed and cleared my throat.

“WINNING IS EVERYTHIIIIING!” Nobody from this fantasy land would recognize that as the magnificent Kars quote from Jojo that it was, but the nuance definitely got across. Rokuko jolted awake and shouted “B-Bwuh?! I-I washn’t shleeping!” with drool all over her mouth, but we ignored her.

“Uhhhh. Basically, victory is always the priority, and we can worry about looking cool and respecting our enemies and so on after it’s secured. Or really, those things don’t really matter at all. Winning is everything. It’s all we should care about.”

“...That is a ridiculous saying which suits your mindset well, Keima. You are absolutely correct in that cowardice is best unquestioned in warfare, as long as victory is obtained. However...”

“Wait, um, what? Keima, tell me what’s going on.”

“You would know if you hadn’t been sleeping.” Regardless, I explained my dungeon-flooding plan to Rokuko.

“Mmm, seems okay to me?”

“Truly, Rokuko? Your vacation home will be underwater. You don’t mind that?”

“Bwuh? We can just drain it after the Dungeon Battle is over. Right, Keima?” Oh man, Rokuko saying something clever again. It can definitely work as a vacation home too that way. Was she thinking while sleeping? That sure reminds me of someone.

“Well, feel free to do whatever you want, Keima. I’ll handle all the cleanup.”

“Okay. I’ll leave it to you, partner.”

“You can trust me, partner. Ahahahaha.” At some point, I’ve learned to actually trust her. Heh. And if we lose, there won’t be any cleanup since it’ll go to Haku. In a certain way, Rokuko’s saying she trusts that I’ll win. Uh... That’s her intention, right? Right?

“...It seems I was being a little too rigid in my thinking, then. Haaah...”

“I haven’t been helping Keima this whole time for show! You just gotta get used to his crazy ideas.”

“I don’t know whether to rejoice at your growth, or weep at how you’re being polluted by his mindset...” Haku looked seriously worried about that despite how little it mattered.

With that settled, we got to work ironing out the details of our plan, including how specifically we’d be flooding the dungeon and which monsters we’d be using. Haku pointed out quite a few errors in my thinking and gave enough advice about countering potential plans of our opponents that I once again found myself sincerely impressed with her. It looked like we’d easily be able to win without me exposing my Golem trump card. Or so I thought, but Haku made sure to drive home that our enemies had Core 5 and Core 6 on their side. Right. We’re not the only team with a veteran helping out. Can’t let my guard down.

The fruitful meeting ended and we decided to start constructing the dungeon tomorrow. Oh, and Rokuko? She fell asleep again, the dweeb. But whatever. Do what you want now, I’m gonna load all the cleanup on you! Get ready!

Day 4 of Year 2

It was finally time to build the dungeon. First, we dug it out. To save DP I summoned Golems with pickaxes and shovels to do the initial digging.

We were all in the temporary Master Room within the Dummy Core. Father had given us specially made Dungeon Cores for this Dungeon Battle which had temporary Master Rooms for use by younger and older Cores to discuss things. (I had no idea how it differed from a normal Dungeon Core, but Haku told me not to worry about it.) Anyway, I went inside with everyone else and then made the Golems dig.

It was time to dig. Time to dig a lot.

“You certainly are cheap,” complained Haku as I was building my dungeon.

“I’m fine with being cheap. We’ve got plenty of time.”

I withdrew the upended soil and spread the new dungeon’s territory. Occasionally, I threw a magic stone into the collected soil and made another Golem employee with {Create Golem}.

“So, what else will you be using this soil for?”

“Making walls and filling in gaps later. Though making new Golems, as you can see, is really the main thing.”

“Hmm. Well, using all your resources is the most fundamental of all fundamentals... I see now how you saved so much DP in our battle. Using extracted soil for {Create Golem} material is quite efficient.”

“Yeah, pretty much.” I didn’t really want to reveal too much about my DP-saving methods, but I figured simple recycling wasn’t too important to hide. It was basic stuff and didn’t matter to Haku anyway. From her perspective, this is like fussing over a single penny in the national budget. Basically, as long as she doesn’t figure out that I can alter magic chants at will, I’m fine.

“I’m sure none of this is interesting to you, Haku. You’ve got plenty of DP to use whether you economize or not.”

“That’s certainly true. Despite how it may seem from your experience, it’s actually quite rare for Dungeon Battles to involve limits on DP. The majority of them have no rules.” Yeah, two out of the three Dungeon Battles I’ve fought have had DP limiting rules.

“Ahaha. Keima’s specialty is being anal with DP.” Don’t say anal, please. Just... no.

“I must admit, you are quite skilled at managing your resources.”

“Riiight? Keima’s enough of a cowardly cheat that he could beat even you with the same amount of DP, Haku!”

“Look, could you settle on either complimenting me or dunking on me, one or the other, instead of doing both at the same time?”

“Bwuh?! Ummmm... Aren’t I complimenting you? You’re cowardly, like, in a good way.” Yeah I’m gonna go out on a limb and say exactly nobody is gonna interpret it like that. Dungeon Core culture remains a mystery. Like, is she really complimenting me? It’s hard to tell.

Oh, and by the way, Haku had started pulling off the inhuman feat of carrying her paperwork around with her to work on while spending time outside with Rokuko. Which meant that she was sliding her hands over letters and paperwork next to Rokuko as her young protege watched over the Golems.

“...Chloe. Isn’t it a bit problematic for Haku to take her super important imperial paperwork outside?”

“This is not ideal, but as it encourages Lady Haku to work with enthusiasm, I consider it acceptable enough. After all, the responsibility will fall on Haku if any problems arise from it.” Oh, right. Haku’s at the top of the authority ladder, so if she says she’ll take responsibility, literally none of the rules apply to her.

“What about your town chief work, Keima?”

“Huh? Oh, personally, I have my subordinates do all of the work. I’ll pop in if something serious happens, but so far so good.” Honestly, things are probably going so well precisely because I haven’t been popping in.

“I’m quite envious you do that. Well then, Keima, would you mind helping me with my own paperwork? The income and expenditures don’t add up on this financial report. Can you tell why?”

“It’s probably a falsified report. Probably some noble looking to fatten his pockets. And come on, don’t show me these top secret imperial forms. What’ll you do if someone sends assassins after me?”

“Oh? But you already know this country’s greatest secret, that being my true identity as a Dungeon Core. Isn’t it a bit late to worry about that?” Wait, she’s right! Oh no!

“H-Hold on, does that mean you want Keima dead, Haku?! Don’t kill him! Keima’s my partner!”

“My my. Don’t worry, nothing I do will kill him.”

“Oh, that’s a relief. He’ll be fine then!” Yeah, she didn’t say anything about not doing things that won’t kill me. She’s definitely gonna jump on any chance she gets to beat the shit out of me for touching Rokuko or something. I delicately handed back the financial report, making sure that I didn’t see anything on it.

A-Anyway, let’s focus on making the dungeon here... Or so I said, but we were stuck waiting for the Golems to dig out the pre-assigned sections of soil, so I had some free time to kill. There were plenty of digging Golems already and they would keep on absorbing mana without ever stopping.

Hm... Oh right, Rokuko learned {Create Golem} too. I dunno when, though. She must have bought the scroll with her own DP funds. May as well just stick Rokuko on dungeon watching duty while I kill time. Really, I should have been having her handle everything this whole time. No need for me to try and act normal while using my own messed up {Create Golem}.

“Rokuko, could you take care of things here for me?”

“Sure, but what are you gonna do, Keima? Sleep?”

“I’m gonna think about which traps to use.” Normally I’d be going to bed, but I didn’t want to sleep while Haku was going out of her way to tag along and help. Crap, is it just me or have I been awake all the time lately? But anyway. Time to think about what traps would be best here.

Everything’s gonna be underwater, so I’d really like some electric traps. Maybe putting some poison in the water would work? But I don’t think either of those would be that effective against item-type enemies. Yeaaah... The best thing for me to do here is ask Haku for advice on how to beat item-type monsters. Man, I want to just use {Create Golem} to make a bunch of stuff for free, but I guess I’m stuck using DP.

“Pitfalls and skewering needle traps should work.” By the way, our army would consist primarily of [Sharks], [Schools of Sardines], and [Half-Merman Sahuagins]. The Sahuagins could fight on land as well and thus would be useful even if the flooding plan failed. Just the kind of quality I’d expect from Haku’s recommendation. Aaaand... I’m feeling like adding a giant octopus or two. Octopi are like the ninja of the ocean. They’re excellent scouts good at squeezing into tight places and hiding themselves with ink.

Anyway, back to traps. We needed to pick those that wouldn’t backfire and hurt our own monsters. Which meant we had to pick very, very carefully.

“Excuse me, Keima. Might I ask what that Dagon is? It does not appear in any catalog I’ve seen.” Chloe had walked up close to me and peered over my shoulder as I looked at my DP Catalog. I hadn’t been hiding it, but... Christ, she smells good. Her butler crossdressing made me forget she’s actually a succubus. My lust, which had recently been dormant, began to stir.

But, huh. Looks like Haku’s DP Catalog, or at least, Chloe’s DP Catalog doesn’t show any of the Elder Gods of Lovecraft lore, the kind of creatures that show up in games with sanity meters.

“...Right. These are mythical beings from my world. Please don’t speak its name directly. Don’t even look at it in the catalog, if possible. You’ll lose sanity points.”

“A creature so fearsome you lose your mind just looking at it...? Consider me frightened.”

“Yup. Let’s try to think about this guy as little as possible.” I quickly set Dagon to do not display mode. Him not being in Haku’s Catalog signified that he was probably appearing due to my special nature as someone from another word. I didn’t expect that to influence monsters too. Maybe this means I should buy some otherwordly monsters to catch our enemies off guard. But for now I’ll just buy the safe monsters Haku suggested. In my opinion, a Dungeon Master truly shows his worth through what he can do with simple ingredients, not through the ingredients themselves.

Day 5 of Year 2

It was time to build my second dungeon. I decided to start by having Rokuko roll the gacha. The dungeon could change a lot depending on what she rolled.

“Okay, I’m gonna roll the 10,000 DP gacha.”

“Yup. Good luck.” I was having Rokuko roll 200,000 DP out of our allowed 500,000 DP. She would start by rolling the 10,000 DP gacha five times, then conclude by rolling the 1,000 DP gacha a hundred and fifty times.

“Speaking of which, were you not summoned through the 1,000 DP gacha, Keima?”

“I sure was.”

“Then she must be about to summon a creature worth ten of you,” said Haku with a smile. Hey, we already rolled the Phoenix from this, alright?

“Gacha is inefficient. You have no idea what you will roll, so the Catalog in its reliability is superior... or so the vast majority of Cores say. It is true that the gacha rarely produces favorable results. In the vast majority of cases, it would have been better to just spend the DP directly on the Catalog.”

“Huh? But I heard that you once summoned a Dragon through the gacha, Haku.”

“Indeed I did, but only when experimenting with spare DP. I rolled the 1,000 DP gacha ten thousand times, resulting in a single child White Dragon. The rest were duds.” 10,000,000 DP and just a single success? Dang, that’s a 0.01% success rate. What kind of rip-off game is this?

Wait. What does that mean for Rokuko, whose luck is so good she easily rolls for more value than she pays for? Honestly, let’s not think about it.

“I believe in Rokuko’s luck no matter what!”

“I won’t let you down! Here I go... Hyah!” Woosh! A giant magic circle of about ten meters in diameter formed in front of us. It was the same effect that occurred when she rolled the Phoenix, I think? Though back then the circle spread outside of my room.

“...I did not expect to see the success fanfare so soon.”

“Oh, that’s what this is?” Speaking of which, the magic circle that appeared when I rolled was pretty small.

The magic circle span around as it shrunk down to about two meters in diameter. Then... A transparent tentacle monster squished out of it, revealing our new monster.

A Tentacle Slime Appeared!

“Eugh, what...? I think I’ve seen one of these before. That one was about twice as big though.”

“A Tentacle Slime, hm...? This is a monster with a high affinity for the dungeon we have planned. Oh, Rokuko, the one you saw before in the coliseum was an advanced form of this monster, known as a Big Tentacle Slime.”

“Looks like we got the small version.” A quick look at the Catalog revealed that it was worth 80,000 DP. I reflexively grinned at our immediate success. Good going, Rokuko. I knew you wouldn’t let me down. Now, time for round two.

“Bwuh? It’s small.”

“A bad roll, it seems. Worry not. I assure you, this is the norm.”

Unbelievably, the roll produced a magic circle only one meter in diameter. What happened, Rokuko?! With a poof, an octopus appeared through the magic circle. It had a large, round head and eight tiny legs. For some reason it was wearing a headband, which made it look like an obsessive otaku. Uh... That is an octopus, right? This isn’t going to be a twist where Dagon is actually a tiny geek, right...?

“A Toon Octopus. They’re popular as pets due to their cute appearance, but as monsters they are fairly weak.”

“Hm, dang.” They cost 500 DP in the Catalog, but sold for tens of silvers. Well... I guess I’ll sell it through Haku’s connections later?

“Oh, but when in water, it can be used to create ink clouds. They last for only ten seconds, but coat an area in pitch black for the entirety of that time. Also, for mysterious reasons, nothing can kill it. An infinite barrage of ultimate attacks will leave no lasting harm, and within a week it will recover in full.” What kind of gag powers are those? I guess ’cause it’s parodying comic book characters, or something? Either way, I get the feeling he and Rei would get along well, as fellow monsters lacking attack power.

Rokuko rolled the 10,000 DP gacha again. Her incredible luck worked its magic and another large magic circle formed with a woosh.

“The success fanfare, again... Rokuko, your luck truly is spectacular.”

“Eheheh, naturally. I wonder what this one’s going to be?” This time, the magic circle shrunk to about a meter in diameter. And out plopped a big barrel. A... barrel? The heck is this?

“An item, not a monster, I see.” Oh yeah. We rolled a {Chef} skill scroll a while ago.

“An item? What is it?”

“It appears to be wine. Vintage wine, to be specific, aged quite significantly... This is too valuable of an item to be reckless with. I will store it myself and make sure no harm comes to it.” Haku speedily stashed the barrel into her {Storage}. Uh, you know we’re the ones who paid for that, right...? Well, whatever.

Fourth roll. With a boom, an even larger magic circle appeared. Another success. But wait, is it just me or is this circle like five meters bigger than the last one?

“Whoa, I get the feeling something amazing is gonna come out of this. Right?”

“...This is the fanfare for a huge success. I have never seen it before.” The magic circle shrunk bit by bit, tightening to almost nonexistence before a shining ball small enough to fit in one’s palm plopped out.

“...This is a skill orb of some kind. They’re similar to skill scrolls, but you can’t tell what skills they contain until you use them. Though when buying them with DP, we can just see the skills from the catalog.”

“Wow. That’s pretty cool. Keima, try it out.”

“Why me and not someone else? Any attack skill will be wasted on me. I’m not getting on the front lines. You really wanna risk that?”

“Fear not. Unlike skill scrolls, a skill orb can be used multiple times.” I checked the DP Catalog, but didn’t see any orbs. Haku suggested that I likely hadn’t bought enough skill scrolls for them to appear. It’s true, I don’t really use those too often.

By the way, a skill orb generally cost a hundred times as much as an equivalent scroll. And yet they broke after ten uses, so really, they were a huge waste of DP. Yeah, I can see why nobody uses them and why I’ve never heard of them before.

Anyway, I gave using the orb a shot. It worked just like a skill scroll in that all I had to do was pour mana into it. And so I did, pouring mana into it while trembling with excitement at whatever skill a huge success roll would produce. The orb shined brightly, and I felt a magic circle working its way into my head.

“Woah, this... this skill is... fucking awful! Oh, hell no! Fuck no!”

“What skill is it?”

I had learned... {Sleep Resistance: Level 9}. It gave me resistance towards skills and drugs that would otherwise leave me unconscious, and allowed me to stay in environments that would otherwise knock me out. Not only that, but as the name implied, it treated sleep the same as falling unconscious. Since it was level 9, I could apparently last a whole month without sleeping.

“Hmm. Well, that’s a useless skill for Dungeon Cores.”

“Oh, but it’s a quite useful skill for adventurers who are Dungeon Masters. Resistance to sleep means you can remain active without falling unconscious. That lessens the possibility of a Master falling asleep during a Dungeon Battle and missing critical moments. Aren’t you glad, Keima? Now you can work for weeks at a time without sleep.”

“Why me...? Why...?” On top of everything, it was a passive skill that was constantly active. Why must my sleep be stolen from me so? Is this punishment for working so much lately? Have I scorned the very sleep I hold so dear? Ohhh, God of Sleep! Please show me mercy!

“Oh, look, Keima! Look! The last 10,000 Roll was a miss, but it gave us a [Super Sleeping Drug]! It’s flavored, too!”

“Oooh... But I can sense it. I can sense that this drug will have no effect on the current me...!” Um, God of Sleep? Are you tormenting your lost sheep?! I’ll have you know that tormented sheep jump the wrong way when you’re trying to fall asleep by counting sheep!

“Keima, um, can’t you like, turn the sleep resistance on and off?”

“Oh, looks like I can. Thank goodness... I owe you my life, Rokuko. That was too close.”

“Oh, consider yourself lucky. There are many passive skills that can’t be deactivated at will.” Whew. I’ll have to thank the God of Sleep later. Not sure if he actually exists though. Sheesh, a terrible skill like this deserves to be kept off at all times! My life is on the line here.

We moved on to rolling the 1,000 DP gacha a hundred and fifty times, but we went fast and got that over with ASAP. Of the rolls, only ten ended up being monsters, with everything else being skill scrolls, potions, and other miscellaneous items plus armor. To summarize our results: We had made absolute bank. Though I knew that would happen if Rokuko rolled the gacha for us.

First, the monsters. As for misses, we got a Flying Fried Squid, two Marlins, and five Sharks. As for successes, we got a Baby Turtle with a diamond shell and an Ammoknight. Why did the gacha give us so many sea creatures? I could only assume that location influenced the gacha as well, or that Rokuko’s luck had pulled through again. Either way, we had no way to store the fish or sharks on land, so it was lucky that we had done this next to the ocean. Where were they now? Chilling in the ocean. There sure would have been a big panic if people were at the beach.

Also, the Flying Fried Squid was a mysterious creature that could fly through the air as if it were water. I had no idea how it could operate in both the air and water like that, but wow. Just incredible. I bet a certain plumber would know a lot about these flying squids.

Anyway. About the turtle.

“Oh my, this is a... diamond type Jewel Turtle. It’s young, but buying one with DP would cost 50,000 DP.”

“...How many years will it take for him to grow to his full size?” At the moment, he was about as small as the kind of turtle you’d see being sold in a pet store. The diamonds studding his shell all looked as big and clear as wedding ring diamonds. Since they were green as well, you could easily make a necklace right out of his shell. That alone made him look very valuable.

“I believe they grow about one centimeter per year. Oh, speaking of which, Jewel Turtles are quite an effective means of producing DP. They return their investment after five years of growth, and every year after that is pure profit. I strongly recommend them to any Dungeon Core that isn’t already maintaining human farms. Though be sure to keep this a secret between you and me. Their value will drop if word of this spreads.”

“Ah. Okay.” Five years is a pretty long time, and since buying them costs 50,000 straight up, younger Dungeon Cores won’t really be able to profit much from them. Well... Considering the profits are guaranteed, it might be smart for us to buy a few of them just to have. I would definitely cry if we hid them in the dungeon and some adventurers took them, though.

“Oh, perhaps Rokuko’s ring was made from a matured Jewel Turtle. One would just have to make the orichalcum ring and then place it upon the back of a ruby type turtle. After a year of waiting, the ruby would grow over the ring. All one would have to do is grind away to excess ruby, I suppose...? But keeping watch over the turtle to ensure the ruby remained pure would be somewhat problematic... Okay. I’ll have dwarves use this method to make a matching ring for my sweet, precious Rokuko...” Haku was murmuring to herself about something, so I shifted my attention to the other rare gacha result.

The Ammoknight’s full name was “Ammonite Knight.” Its shell was about the size of a large dining table, filled with helix ridges that hurt to look at. Inside was a nautilus-looking tentacle monster thing. It looked a little... okay, it looked extremely gross up close. It was swimming around in the water at the moment. Of all the monsters it looked the most useful, given its high defense.

Not to mention that it was a “knight.” It could use a sword and shield. Even in the water it moved like you might expect a knight on land to. Definitely seemed like a strong fighter. I imagined that it’d be weaker on land than in water, but it could still operate.

But you know, what’s with all the tentacle monsters we summoned? There’s the Tentacle Slime, the Toon Octopus, and even the Flying Fried Squid has tentacles. Wait... Wait! Is this the gacha responding to Rokuko’s lust for Goblins and tentacles?! Nah, no way.

Oh, and here’s all the items we got:

Potions

28 Healing Potions

35 Superior Healing Potions

12 Mana Potions

14 Superior Mana Potions

4 Status Recovery Potions

1 Berserker Potion

1 Elixir

Scrolls

3 Slash Scrolls

10 Ice Bolt Scrolls

4 Lightning Scrolls

1 Grow Weed Scroll

1 Create Golem Scroll

1 Summon Gargoyle Scroll

2 Storage Scrolls

13 Healing Scrolls

1 Area Heal Scroll

Misc

1 Turtle-shaped Scrubbing Brush

1 Underwater Motor (For Use With Plastic Models)

4 Orichalcum Coins

1 School Swimsuit (Old Fashion and Navy Colored)

1 Set of Bikini Armor

1 Fisherman T-Shirt

And that was that. One hundred and forty items in all. Uh... I wonder why we ended up with more “superior” potions to normal potions. Not to mention, I’m pretty sure that elixirs are super rare full heal items. Oh, it’s a cream you rub onto your skin, not a drink? Who would have thought.

And look at these scrolls. We got thirteen [Healing Scrolls] even though each is worth 100,000 DP, not to mention the high ranked [Area Heal Scroll]. And a [Summon Gargoyle Scroll] too? Geez.

The misc items I’m less sure about. Orichalcum coin? Underwater motor? Ehhh. I don’t have the electricity for the motor. Also, what’s up with the school swimsuit, bikini armor, and T-shirt? You wanna see Rokuko wearing these, 1000 DP gacha? Oh, and Rokuko got super pumped when she saw the turtle brush. Why? Come on. It costs like 5 DP.

Incidentally, one [Elixir] was worth 300,000 DP and one [Area Heal Scroll] was worth 250,000 DP. Selling those two alone would earn us more DP than we were given for this entire Dungeon Battle. Each [Orichalcum Coin] was worth 100,000 DP, too, and we got four of them.

...So basically, we got over 2,000,000 DP worth of monsters and items from 150,000 DP. This is more than just profitable, this is just cheating. Cheating, I say! This is over a 100% return on investment, Jesus. Let’s keep doing this and never stop. You may think that these random items won’t help us at all in this Dungeon Battle, but that couldn’t be further from the truth.

Like, this [Summon Gargoyle Scroll] is some serious stuff. {Grow Weed} can’t do anything but grow small plants, but with my spell-altering potential I could probably grow trees too. It’ll be real useful once I go home and escape Haku’s watchful eye. I could even sneak in wood for the battle without it impacting how much DP we can spend. It’s a gamble, but we could throw the Berserker Potion on infiltrators and have them destroy each other.

As for Haku’s thoughts on all this, when I asked she said, “Perhaps she has a skill similar to Wataru the Hero’s {Ultra Good Fortune}...?” Honestly, I was wondering the same thing. Rokuko’s good luck definitely had something to do with a skill. Or at least, I really hoped that was the case.

Meanwhile, Rokuko herself was playing around with the turtle brush.

“Why are you so pumped about that brush anyway?”

“Wha? Don’t you remember getting the same thing before? We match now. Isn’t that awesome?” I mean, okay, but matching scrub brushes? That’s just weird.

Day 13 of Year 2

“Hey, Keima. We’ve already dug out five floors to the dungeon. Just how deep are we going?”

“I’m planning on having at least ten floors this time. All vertical.”

“So we’re gonna spend 50,000 DP just on floors? Oof!” Partially given the flooded gimmick we were going for, the deeper our dungeon went, the better. I was even making sure each floor was very vertically spacious to add distance.

We spent 200,000 DP on the gacha and 50,000 DP on the floors. The remaining 250,000 DP would be spent on rooms, traps, and placing monsters. Oh right, I can’t forget about our attacking force. Updated estimate: 150,000 DP on readying floors, 50,000 DP on the attack force, and 50,000 DP for emergency use the day of. Ah, and let’s not forget that the Dummy Core given to us by Father still counts for the DP limit. I’ll count that as part of the floor preparations.

In any case, I left preparing the dungeon to Rokuko and Niku while I temporarily returned to the [Cave of Greed]. I immediately used the scrolls Rokuko rolled to learn {Summon Gargoyle} and {Grow Weed}, plus {Ice Bolt} since there were so many left over. I decided to give the {Healing} and {Ice Bolt} scrolls to the four girls who stayed back at the inn. Blame Rokuko’s luck for giving us so many extras.

While I was at it, I recorded the chants for {Summon Gargoyle} and {Grow Weed} on Golems which I then gave to Neruneh. Hopefully she could learn them from the recordings.

...She ended up learning {Summon Gargoyle}, so I directed her to continue her research on Gargoyles (Magic Tool Golems). Although, that was all she had been doing for a long while... Maybe I should just call them Lesser Gargoyles to draw a line? Or maybe we could just go back to Magic Tool Golems. Anyway, time for some experimentation. Gonna change the chants.

The chants were as follows:

“Gate, open. I summon thee, magic-wielding monster of stone. Serve me — {Summon Gargoyle}.”

“O Seed, bud and grow — {Grow Weed}.”

“Shoot forth, ice, and pierce mine enemies — {Ice Bolt}.”

“O Light, cure this fellow’s wounds — {Healing}.”

{Summon Gargoyle} was up first. It interested me the most. The magic-wielding monster of stone part was probably talking about the Gargoyle. Which meant changing that would maybe let me summon other monsters. Welp, time to give it a shot. Since I was in my own room in the chief residence, I didn’t hold back.

“Gate, open. I summon thee, magic-wielding monster of iron. Serve me — {Summon Gargoyle}!” A purple magic circle grew before my eyes with a magical woosh. But it disappeared before anything came out of it. Wait, what? I figured that would have summoned an Iron Gargoyle, but I guess not. Let’s try something else.

“Gate, open. I summon thee, Goblin. Serve me — {Summon Gargoyle}.” A second magic circle appeared and a single Goblin rose up through it.

“Gob!” Well... Mission success. I summoned a Goblin. But I dunno. Summoning a Goblin with {Summon Gargoyle}? I don’t know what’s going on anymore.

“...Uh, are you my servant now?” The Goblin nodded repeatedly. Okay, he’s servile. Time to try the next one. Though I guess this means my kind Auto Translator will replace the name of the monster with the proper phrase for me?

“Gate, open. I summon thee, Gargoyle. Serve me — {Summon Gargoyle}.” A third purple magic circle appeared. Let’s see what happens.

...A Gargoyle pushed through the magic circle and then fell to the floor. I had successfully summoned a Gargoyle. Somehow, I felt a mana path of sorts connecting us. The Gargoyle’s path was thicker than the Goblin’s, which probably meant that maintaining its presence took more mana. Either way, the Gargoyle seemed servile as well.

“Seems like I’ve got myself a pretty serious spell. This is wild.” Doesn’t this mean I can summon any monster I know the name of for free? Let’s see if I can summon something other than a monster.

“...Gate, open. I summon thee, Ichika. Serve me — {Summon Gargoyle}.” A purple magic circle grew... and at that exact moment, I collapsed onto the floor, unconscious.

＊ ＊ ＊

I woke up to Ichika giving me a lap pillow. The Goblin and Gargoyle were nowhere to be seen. Her ridiculous tits were blocking my view of her face, but these thighs were unmistakably Ichika’s.

“...Guh?”

“Oh. Finally awake, Master? What the heck happened to you, dude? I told you about weird experiments. I warned you, bro.”

“Hey, who said I was doing anything weir—gah, my head! It hurts so bad!” A shooting icy pain shot through my skull, as if my head had been slammed into a giant iceberg. It was like brain freeze, except so bad I legitimately felt like either I or an important part of me was in the process of dying.

What’s happening...? Ichika patted my head, rubbing it gently. Oh... It’s calmed down now.

“You were practicing some magic here, yeah? It’s totes obvious that’s how this happened.”

“...R-Right. Maybe I ran out of mana?”

“I dunno, dude. I’ve heard about people passing out after, like, using their magic skills too much? But never anything about headaches. Also, like... A purple magic circle popped up under me or something.”

“Oh, right. I was trying to summon you with {Summon Gargoyle}, Ichika.”

“Uh, Master?! Do I look like a friggin’ Gargoyle to you?! No wonder you passed out.”

“The Goblin I tried summoning first worked, though.”

“With {Summon Gargoyle}?!”

Yeaaah... Trying to summon a human with it was probably a mistake. Maybe ’cause people don’t have magic stones? I might have done something like trying to divide by zero in a computer program. Could be that the real mistake was specifying a specific person. Either way, I’m just glad the spell cut off when I passed out. If I had my Sleep Resistance skill on, I could’ve kept going until my head exploded or something. God, that’s scary.

Anyway, this headache’s so horrible I’m nervous about experimenting any further. It’s honestly bad enough that I never want to use {Summon Gargoyle} again. At the very least, I should be more careful and proceed step by step next time.

“Wait. How are you even here, Ichika? The summoning failed.”

“I came through the door, bro. Liiike, the magic circle kinda gave me, like, information about you? Went straight to my head, and then the magic circle fizzled out before finishing, and I was like, oh shizzle, I better go check up on him. You didn’t answer when I knocked, which like, okay, he’s the sleep dude, he’s probably asleep. But you were just experimenting, so like, whaaat? I opened the door and oh double shizzle. Master’s passed out on the ground alone!” Seems like the Goblin and Gargoyle returned to where they came from right after I passed out. Thank Christ they just disappeared and didn’t attack me while I was unconscious.

“What did you mean by information about me?”

“Right. It was like, asking if I would defy this person or not? And I could tell it was you, Master, so I tried not to resist, buuut...” Oh yeah. Speaking of which, the Iron Gargoyle I tried to summon didn’t show up for some reason. Maybe that’s because it defied me. Ehhhh... The mystery pile keeps getting taller.

In any case, the headache had calmed down, so I decided to enjoy Ichika’s comfy lap pillow for a little longer. {Summon Gargoyle} could wait. Wait about the other spells? Oh, right.

“O Light, soothe my headache — {Healing}.” Faint, fluffy light enveloped my head. Ahhhh... That’s the stuff.

“Master, my dudest of dudes, shouldn’t you have used that spell a li’l bit earlier?”

“I’m thinking the same thing. It’s hard to just use a spell on the spot when you’re not used to it... I need to take advantage of my magic a bit more.”

“I mean, I think you’re taking pretty good advantage of it. Also, I forgot to cast {Healing} too, teehee.” Yeah, but I pretty much only use {Create Golem}. But anyway, it seems like I still have plenty of mana, so let’s get back to experimenting. But a little more carefully.

{Ice Bolt} was an attack spell so putting it aside, up next was {Grow Weed}. Honestly, spells that involved daily life stuff seemed a lot more worthwhile to fiddle with.

Ichika and I headed to the farmland. My first test would be growing fruits and vegetables out of season.

“...O Tomato, bear fruit — {Grow Weed}!” I had reached the point of just using a different chant instead of fiddling with an existing chant, but regardless, a tomato plant rapidly grew out of the ground, bloomed, and developed fruit. Uhhhh... Did it like, get fertilized there? Honestly, let’s not think about it.

I grabbed the fresh red tomato and took a bite.

“......Yuck!” Despite being a tomato, it was dry and felt gritty in my mouth. Not to mention that it barely had any flavor. It felt exactly like eating sand. I don’t get it. This looks just like a healthy tomato.

“Chalk this one up as a failure. This stuff’ll only be good as an emergency food source.”

“Lemme try a bite, Master... Ahhh, yup, that tastes like total garbage sauce. Gonna give it a solid three out of ten.”

“Not even a one out of ten?”

“Dude. Master. Food can get so, so much worse than this.” Ichika’s got so much experience with food, I feel compelled to believe her.

“Oh, go ahead and eat the rest if you want.”

“...For real? Wanna get bit? Chomp chomp?”

“Huh? What are you gonna bite? Oh, the tomato, right. Ahahahahaha. Hah.” I left the useless tomato with Ichika and moved on to the next experiment. The tomato might have tasted bad because it’s a fruit. Maybe a vegetable will work better.

“O Cabbage, sprout from the ground — {Grow Weed}.” I walked up to a half-grown cabbage and cast {Grow Weed} onto it. Once it had grown two, three leafy layers, I peeled one off and took a bite. “Nom... Oh, wow. This is paper. I am eating paper. I feel like a human shredder right now. Or maybe a goat.”

“Vegetables don’t work with {Grow Weed} either. That sucks.”

“What a bummer.”

“Here, Ichika, you can eat the rest.”

“For real...? Wanna get bit?”

“Oh, you wanna bite into this cabbage that much? I knew I could count on you. You can count on a dinner of curry rolls tonight.”

“...’Kay, I’ll forgive you!” She forgave me for something. I didn’t really follow.

“Uh, you know I’m not telling you to just eat this junk raw, right? You can ask Kinue to flavor it for you or something. Go ahead and use as much curry powder as you want.”

“Dude, I wish you said that like three minutes ago. I already ate the whole tomato...”

“Ichika, your sheer determination to let no food go to waste is as admirable as it is inspiring. Let the world know that here stands a fantastic woman.”

“Yeah, yeah. How about you help me take down this cabbage? I dunno if I could handle it on my own.” Having no other choice, I decided to help her. Kinue stuck the paper-esque cabbage into a stew for us.

...It ended up surprisingly edible once given some flavor. I’m pretty surprised, like wow. While I was there, I tried asking for Kinue’s opinion.

“{Grow Weed}... That sounds like a useful spell for tending to the lawn. It should be effective when not used to grow food, I imagine. Otherwise, I could see it being useful for hiding passages with weeds.”

“Oh, that’s a good idea. I’ll try it out.” A vine-filled room where you gotta push through to find the exit might be nice. We’re making a flooded dungeon right now, so seaweed should do the trick. Heh. Who knew Kinue was such a strategist?

“Oh, by the way, I haven’t seen Rei. Any idea where she is?”

“Rei is currently not present. I believe she is in the middle of thoroughly researching the Catalog to find the best way to use the 50,000 DP.” She still hasn’t used it? Well, it is her first subordinate that she’s summoning. No harm in thinking long and hard abo— Wait, wait, wait. No. I gave her that DP so she could buy help to keep the inn and stuff running while Rokuko, Niku, and I are away for the Dungeon Battle. Why hasn’t she used it yet?

“...How’s the inn holding up? You’re not understaffed, right?”

“The inn is quite fine. There’s nothing for you to worry about, Master.”

“If you say so. I’m trusting you all here, okay? Okay. Tell Rei to hurry up and spend that DP.”

“As you wish.” She had been so firm about the inn being “quite fine” that I was honestly a little worried. But well, like I said, I’m trusting them here. I won’t try to butt in. As long as the dungeon’s fine, we’ll manage.

“What about the town in general? Any problems that need the town chief around to fix?”

“You said that the vice chief’s permission would suffice for anything outside of the inn, so not at the moment. The Dyne Company is managing our funds and growing by the day. As for outward expansion and road development, everything is going quite smoothly thanks to the Adventurer’s Guild support.”

“...Uhhhh, what? Expansion? Are more people coming?”

“Certainly. I have been expanding the dungeon’s territory to match the growing town.”

“Ah. I see.” Now that she mentions it, they’d had the power to do that ever since I unlocked the menu for them.

More people, huh... Guess that means we’ll be getting more DP. It was kinda late for me to be wondering about this, but I asked if there were any problems with trash disposal. Apparently, it was common knowledge in this world that trash left in dungeons disappeared, which made total sense. Dungeons could make all garbage, even corpses, disappear into DP. Communities that formed around dungeons had no problems with waste disposal whatsoever.

Overall, there really weren’t any problems for me to worry about. At worst, the town was getting big enough to draw attention. Food wasn’t an issue since the dungeon contained Jellies, which would serve as emergency rations, and we also had plenty of stored grain. Hmmm... Maybe I should place more Iron Golem spawns to match the increased population?

“I don’t know what to say. I’m just really glad I have competent subordinates.”

“Thank you for your praise, Master.”

Guess I should get back to focusing on the Dungeon Battle. I’ll start by making a ton of Golem Blades.

Day 23 of Year 2

It was the day before the Dungeon Battle. We had finally finished the dungeon and we were ready for tomorrow. Which meant today we were having a preparatory meeting for the Dungeon Battle along with a sizable meal... or in other words, we were having a hype-building party.

“Now then, let us pray for success at tomorrow’s Dungeon Battle... Cheers!” A loud “cheeeers” rang out in reply, headed by Misha’s loud voice. We didn’t have many people eating, but it was a viking-style buffet. The chefs and waiters were all human-type monsters under Haku’s command, so we could freely talk about dungeon stuff.

Our ordinary [Cave of Greed] had me, Rokuko, Niku, and Ichika participating.

Haku’s [Ivory Labyrinth] had Haku, Chloe, Misha, Dolce, Amelia, and Sally participating.

It was my first time meeting Sally. She was the last member of Haku’s party and the only one who hadn’t helped prepare for the Dungeon Battle. She was a Living Armor monster, though as she was taking human form in order to eat, she had a body inside of her. Imagine a cliché blonde female knight with a ponytail. That was her. She looked like the type to say “J-Just kill me already!” while slobbering on orc cock with heart pupils. But in reality, she was the commander in chief of the knight platoons, so an orc wouldn’t survive for two seconds against her. Man... This whole country’s really dancing on Haku’s palm. Not that I didn’t know that already. Anyway, our first conversation went like this.

“Would you like to have a duel? Of course, a serious duel with no holds barred.”

“I politely decline. I’m not a fighter myself, and my motto is to avoid any fights I can.”

“I can create that unavoidable situation, if you wish.”

“Are you threatening me?” I kept emphasizing how weak I was and ultimately declined her duel invitation. She only backed off after I promised to have Niku and Ichika duel her later, but who could blame me?

I poured apple juice into my empty cup after joining the cheer. Huh? Why not alcohol? C’mon, the Dungeon Battle is tomorrow. I’m not gonna risk having a hangover on the big day. Nobody from my dungeon is allowed to drink. And like, why are we even holding this party the exact day before? Is Haku actually hoping I lose? I bet she is. She’s just loving having the “right to instruct” Rokuko.

Rokuko and Haku walked up to me as I stuffed my face with roast chicken.

“Hey, Keima, this stuff is super tasty.”

“Oh? That looks a lot like fried rice. Yep, tastes good.”

“Ahaha. This is the imperial castle, after all, not a country tavern. We have the finest ingredients in all the lands and skilled chefs capable of preparing anything. Of course the food tastes good. Oh, and we have a direct disciple of Ishidaka the Hero, famed as the God of Food amongst chefs. They were able to use that ‘rice’ you gave us to replicate several legendary recipes. This ‘fried rice’ is one such recipe. They were quite pleased, believe me.” Ishidaka, huh? I think that’s where Ichika got her name from. Guess the God of the Sea is also the God of Food, and also a Hero.

As an aside, the God of the Sea title apparently came from legends of them spreading more advanced methods of preparing fish and curing the diseases of sailors with lemons. Yeaaah, that makes sense. They were definitely a Hero with some kind of cooking cheat skill.

My thoughts were interrupted by Haku talking to me.

“Now then, Keima. Did you ever think of a name for the dungeon?”

“Oh, you want me to name it? I figured it wouldn’t really matter...Oh, right, you’re kind of responsible for that kind of thing.”

“Yes. I believed it best to ask for your opinion on the matter. Do you have any ideas?”

“...Taking inspiration from your naming sense, how about the [Ivory Beach]? This dungeon doesn’t have anything to do with greed, so yeah.”

“Oh my, how splendid. With that settled... You know what to do, Misha.”

“Yes! Understooood!” Misha gave an enthusiastic reply. Uh, she’s so drunk her face is already red. Isn’t that a problem?

“Whaaa? It’s okaaaay, I’m not druuunk!”

“Everyone who’s drunk says that.”

“Oh, then, I am druuunk! Meoooow!”

“See? You’re drunk.”

“Drat, you tricked meee. Y’knooow... Keima, I feel like you’re way more nice to me than anyone else. Wassup with that?”

“I mean, I gotta say, I felt like we had a lot in common when I saw you sleeping pretty back in the Guild. Don’t make me say it, c’mon. Now I’m embarrassed.”

“Oh? Oooh? Are you flirting with me, Keimaaa? Y’know, I don’t mind if we go and nap together after this party’s all done. Not that I’ll let you get a wink of sleep, nyahaha!”

“Uh, no, let me sleep. My life’s on the line tomorrow and I need to be ready. Get off me. Off. Please?!” Misha clung to me in a drunken embrace. Holy shit, she’s so strong! I can’t get her off me! And she reeks of alcohol!

“Um, Misha?! Keima’s my partner, get off him!”

“Nyahahahahaaaah! I’m just kiddiiing! You’re sooo cute, Rokukoooo! Nooow, let’s kissy wissy, Keimaaa! Mwaaaah!”

“How is she already this drunk...?” I held Misha’s face back with a hand and looked to Haku for help... Oh man, she’s not gonna do anything. She’s hugging Rokuko and having the time of her life.

Hey, don’t lick my hand, Misha! Your tongue’s really rough, it kinda hurts?!

“Now, now, Misha. Let go of Keima.”

“Amelia! Can I bite you? Can I bite your tail?”

“You may not. Forgive her, Keima. She always acts like this after drinking.” Amelia stuck her lamia tail (feet) between Misha and I to deftly pull her away. Whew, I’m saved. Or so I thought, before...

“I do not know if this will be enough to apologize, but I will take her place tonight. Don’t worry, I’ll be gentle with you.”

“Wait, are you drunk too, Amelia? You are, right? Please be drunk.”

“See? Aren’t my feet nice and chilly?” She wrapped her scale-covered tail (feet) around me and seductively pushed her soft, sizable chest against me.

...The cool touch of her tail (feet) cooled my head down a little. I get it now. This is a legitimate honey trap. I can see Haku grinning like crazy and she’s telling Rokuko that she just needs to believe in me. Rokuko herself is gritting her teeth, believing in me and watching from afar. If I touch any of Haku’s monster girls, I’m gonna get absolutely destroyed. Forget about the Dungeon Battle tomorrow, I’d be in no condition to do anything. Geez. My true enemies were my allies all along.

“Would you please get off me for a second, Amelia?”

“Oh my, you’re no fun. To think that you stared at my feet so passionately the other day.”

“Okay, it’s my turn, right? Time’s up, Amelia.” Not even trying to be subtle anymore, Dolce the Wraith walked up. Wait, does this mean Chloe and Sally are waiting their turns?

“By the way, we Wraiths don’t have feet, but... What do you think?”

“Not even a question. Try again in human form.”

“Wooow, your purity is so radiant it’s melting my dark, daaark being. Okay, your turn, Sally.” She didn’t even try! Not that I mind.

“An Imperial Knight would never pull such cowardly tricks as a honey trap! Therefore! I shall pass!”

“Aaah. I forgot that Sally has a boyfriend. Carry on, then.”

“Wha?! N-N-No I don’t!”

“Oh? So you do have a boyfriend, then. Don’t be shy now. Tell us who it is.”

“Lady Haku, I have sworn to be a knight of the Empire for my entire life. I would not spend my time on something as frivolous as romance.”

“Rather, I just think it’s possible that someone is attempting to trick the Imperial Knights with a honey trap. Be sure to perform a background check on him.”

“Pamella would never do something like that!”

“Oh, his name’s Pamella? Are you certain he’s not that fraud artist known throughout the country for tricking people into fake marriages?”

“Don’t even think about faking evidence against him!” Haku laughed to herself. Whew, looks I don’t have to worry about Sally.

I looked around for Chloe, figuring she would be next. Wait... She’s not here?

“Oh my, where is Chloe? At this rate, she’s my last hope. Did she run away?”

“Perhaps. She is dedicated solely to you, Lady Haku.” Man, that’s a relief. I let out a relieved sigh. If a Succubus like Chloe put her all into seducing me, I might have actually succumbed.

“Guess it’s my turn to seduce him, dudes! C’mere, Masteeer!”

“Ichika. Just be quiet and eat your food. That’s an order.”

“Welp, that settles that. Want some melon, Rokuko? I’ll go grab a plate.”

“That’s the fruit that tastes exactly like melon rolls, right? Please and thank you.” Whew, that should be all of them. Satisfied now, Haku? Sexual harassment won’t work on me. I grinned at Haku.

“My my. As a reward for your gallant restraint, I shall pour you a glass of alcohol. Will ale suffice?”

“Er, thanks, but no thanks. I don’t want to drink with the battle coming up tomorrow.”

“Oh? You would refuse my alcohol...?” The final challenger was sexual harassment from a superior. In other words, sexual harassment with an unspoken threat of danger.

I gave in. Damnit...

# Ichika’s Perspective

After casually participating in Haku’s honey trap to seduce Keima, Ichika skipped back to the food-covered tables. She had been given a direct order to quietly enjoy her food, and she planned on fulfilling that duty. With pleasure. So, so much pleasure.

“Heya, Niku.”

“Nom.” She called out to Niku, who was chewing down meat.

Niku gulped down the meat that was in her mouth. She then wiped the sauce around her mouth with the handkerchief Keima had given her before turning to face Ichika.

“What brings you here, Ichika? Find anything especially delicious?”

“Mmm, not really. Master’s just drowning in babes over there.”

“Master is popular, then?” Niku puffed out her nonexistent chest with pride. They were talking about Keima, but a slave’s pride was their master’s pride.

“Though he totes turned ’em all down.”

“I see. That’s our Master for you.”

“Shouldn’t you be going after him yourself, girl? What if he gets stolen away?” Although Keima had been using Niku as a dakimakura frequently, he hadn’t laid his hands on Ichika a single time. Therefore, she wasn’t worried about all the girls going after him at all. They weren’t threatening her position.

But Niku didn’t seem worried at all, either.

“I am Master’s dakimakura. He may do whatever he wants with me. If the time comes where he doesn’t want me, I just need to work hard until he does.”

“Whew, talk about a slave down to the bones.” But I totally get how she feels, so I guess I’m head over heels for Master too.

After all, Keima was the ideal master. He gave her food and the food tasted amazing. He wasn’t violent with her, curry rolls were the best food in the world, he didn’t demand the impossible from her, and curry rolls were incredible. In short, curry rolls were the best.

“It’s thanks to him that I ended up as a B-Rank adventurer too, huh. Maybe I should thank him by joining him in bed too, hm? I wouldn’t, y’know, ‘bite’ him either.”

“...He doesn’t mind love bites. Though only when he’s sleeping, so be sure not to wake him up.”

“Oooh. I see. Wooow.” Ichika went back to eating random food.

...So good! Although the food wasn’t particularly fancy, it had been prepared by top class chefs using top class ingredients in a feast for Haku, the top of the Empire. There was no way the food would be anything but superb. At worst, it was a shame that so much of the food would be left over and wasted. Well, the chefs and servants would probably eat it, but Ichika considered it a waste that she herself wouldn’t get to eat it.

“Why not just put it into your {Storage}?”

“I don’t even know {Storage}! Put it in yours, Niku!”

“You can’t use my {Storage} without Master or Rokuko’s permission.”

“No way... What should I do?! What CAN I do?!” Ichika wailed with sincere sorrow over missing out on the food as Niku shook her head in exasperation.

“Sheesh. Okay, Ichika. You have to try and learn {Storage} right now. Right here.”

“Oh! Right! My natural talent for Space-Time Magic will be unlocked here and now! Teach me, Niku!”

“The chant for {Storage} goes like this.” However, despite Niku reciting the chant for {Storage}, it wasn’t so easy to learn a spell one had never used before. Her efforts ended in failure, as was predictable.

“There’s no helping what you can’t do. Just eat what you can.”

“You’re right... My stomach’s got a Space-Time portal inside of it!”

“Oh, Ichika. If you want to bring some food back with you, I can put it into my {Storage} for you.” Rokuko, who had just been watching over Keima, suddenly butted in.

“Woah, girl, you didn’t tell me you were a literal goddess. I’ll serve you for the rest of my life!”

“Wow, that’s some enthusiasm. I didn’t think anyone would treat me as a goddess over something this tiny.”

“The wrath of stolen food is never forgotten, but the gratitude of given food lasts forever. Totally.”

“I guess so. Well, if you’re fine with that, Ichika, I am too.” Rokuko went ahead and stuck the nearest large plate into her {Storage}. Ichika questioned whether actually stealing the plate was the right thing to do, but since it was Rokuko doing it, she decided not to think too hard about it.

“...Oh, girl, shouldn’t you be protecting Keima?”

“Ah, about that. He drank Haku’s alcohol and fell right asleep, the silly goof. Would you take him to his room, Niku? I’m sure you remember where it is.”

“As you wish.” Rokuko pointed to the distance, where Keima was sleeping on the floor with red cheeks. Although there was a fluffy carpet beneath him, there was a high possibility that he’d catch a fever.

“I’ll take him to his futon.”

“Uh-huh, thanks!” Thanks in part to her Golem assistance, Niku easily picked up Keima and left the party with him.

“...Wait. Does this mean Niku totally just won the Keima bowl tonight? Kinda late to say this, but you don’t mind leaving Keima with her, Rokuko?”

“Wha? Niku’s just a dakimakura, I don’t mind. Anyway... Aren’t you going to eat?”

“Uh, of course I am, dude. The desserts over there are looking totes delish. Wanna eat with me?” Rokuko’s logic confused Ichika, but either way, she was more focused on eating the food in front of her.