Epilogue

“The Human Empire Team wins! Congratulations, Core 89; congratulations, Core 695; and congratulations, Keima.” Once again, a declaration from Father. We really had won. Rei pretty much delivered the final blow instead of us, but the judge’s word was law.

Light enveloped Core 666 and then she was gone. Father had probably returned her to her own dungeon. Uh... You forgot the wrecked armor. I guess that means I can keep it?

“We did it, Keima! We’re the winners! Yaaay!” Rokuko was so happy she started jumping for joy. You a kid or something?

“I know, I know, you’re happy. Calm down a little.”

“Ahahahahahaha, but me being victorious means that Haku is victorious as well. That means I’m twice as happy! How could I be calm?!”

“You should be calming down twice as fast, then.” I did have to stop her from using my head as a handle to jump higher, though. I appreciated the headpats, but her skirt was flying up and it wasn’t too hard to see underneath. That just wasn’t ladylike. And to be clear, despite my foot fetish, feet aren’t the only thing I like. You feel me? Thighs are pretty good too.

“You did some good work too, Niku. Ichika.”

“That was exhausting...”

“Dude, I’m def gonna get a bonus for this, right?”

The two of them had been controlling Golems and Sahuagins with precision for so long that now they were completely worn out.

“Rei, you and the others did good too.”

“Sir! Thank you very much, Master!”

“I have kept the dungeon clean.”

“I’m hoping for another souveniiir.”

Last but not least were the three monster girls who gave their all to protect the dungeon. I really hadn’t expected the three of them to finish off the Dungeon Battle like this.

“By the way, Rei. You were using, like, illusion stuff, right?”

“Yes! I strengthened myself with the DP you bestowed upon me! I did not manage to acquire the attack points I yearn for, but it enabled me to protect the dungeon. To think you would predict this and preemptively grace me with DP... Your wisdom is as astounding as ever!”

“...Yes. It is as you say.” Let’s leave it at that. Wait... But doesn’t that mean we don’t have a newcomer?

In any case, Haku was smiling brightly now that our victory had been confirmed.

“I see you experienced some unexpected difficulties at the end. I would have liked it if you had finished Core 666 herself off.”

“Hahaha, I’m just glad I had skilled subordinates to back me up. Also, that would have been taking things a bit too far.” In truth, I was just partially worried about what would happen to me, a Hero (?) slash Dungeon Master, if I were to kill a Dungeon Core. Though the main thing was that I didn’t want to draw any unnecessary ire from the Demon King Team Cores by killing one of their own. Not to mention that I would have had to try destroying her by sending monsters after her. That probably wouldn’t have gone too well.

The Demon King Team contacted us. We accepted and soon a large oval mirror-shaped monitor appeared in the sky with Core 666 within it. She was wearing a red dress.

“I lost.”

“I won.” Rokuko puffed out her chest with pride. Seeing that, Core 666 gave a small but pleased grin.

“Core 695. Our next duel shall be a one-on-one.”

“Nope! I’m taking this win and running away!”

“Oh my. That would make me sad. I don’t want to lose the true friend I have gained through this Dungeon Battle.”

“True friend? U-Um, what?”

“Indeed. True friend, arch enemy, the works. Are we not friends now? I should like to play with you again, perhaps with a true duel in the metaphorical flesh. Shall we not proceed with a frank friendship, much like Grandfather and Core 89 have?”

“W-Well, I don’t mind being friends, but... What was that about arch enemies?” Uh, Rokuko, are you sure you don’t mind being friends with her? I’m pretty sure this “friend” is a battle-crazed maniac that’ll cut you down from behind if you’re not careful. The moment that thought crossed my mind, Core 666 made eye contact with me through the monitor. Oh crap, she can see me too. I don’t know why I didn’t expect that.

“You must be my arch enemy’s Master, then.”

“That’s right. I’m Rokuko’s Master.”

“I see. So your Master calls you Rokuko, then, Core 695? May I as well? We are friends after all.”

“Sure, go ahead. ’Cause we’re friends!”

“Ahaha. Thank you, Rokuko. You may feel free to call me Aidy, as my Master does. And you may as well, Rokuko’s Master. I know that humans prefer that kind of name.” With that said, Aidy turned to face me completely.

“Did you design the flooding-based dungeon?”

“........No, Haku did. That is... Our senior Core recommended it.”

“I see, so you did. I expected that the root cause of Rokuko’s rapid growth was her Master, and that seems to be the case.” I thought for a second to try and fool her, but she saw right through me.

“Shall we fight again?”

“I’d rather not.”

“This was a tainted battle, but next time, I will not let trash interfere.”

“I told you it’s not happening. Are those ears just for show?”

“Will you plan your attack thinking my hearing is my weak point? The thought of my ears being attacked is just wonderful. Good luck.” Oh man, she’s not gonna budge. This might get annoying...

“Y’know, I get the whole mobile Dummy Core plan, but you must be a real idiot.”

“Hm? I believe my plans were quite solid, and I recall you doing something similar yourself. From where do you feel the need to call me foolish?”

“It didn’t matter where your Dummy Core was, ’cause all we had to do was beat you. You pretty much signed your own death sentence the moment you jumped into our dungeon.”

“...Ah?!”

“Nah, Aidy, don’t forget that you’ve got the Indestructible trait. Worst case scenario, you can just morph into your Magic Blade form and wait it out as a prisoner until the Dungeon Battle’s over. Remember? You said that before we started.”

“Oh yes, that’s quite right.” Behind Aidy I could see a younger dude with red hair so dark it was closer to black. If Aidy was the color of fresh blood, he was the color of dried, dark blood. That must be her Master. He looks kinda younger than me, if he’s human.

“Are you her Master...? And a human?”

“Yeah. You too, it looks like. Never seen another human Master before. And judging by that outfit, you must be from another world.” Oh yeah, I’m still wearing my jersey. I sure just leaked some information I shouldn’t have.

“Yeah, these are pajamas where I’m from.”

“Pajamas, huh. What a weird guy... You fought in the Dungeon Battle in your pajamas?”

“Yep. They’re good for sleeping. Why wouldn’t I want to be as relaxed as possible for a battle like this?”

“...Well, whatever. We’ll probably never meet again. Later.”

“Hey!” Wait up, tell me what that Indestructible trait thing was all about. Or so I tried to say, but her Master swung the sword on his hip so fast I couldn’t even see it. The mirror-like monitor shattered into pieces and disappeared. Is, uh, is that how you’re supposed to hang up here? I kinda wanted to form a connection there, as a fellow human Dungeon Master... Oh well.

“Oh, right, Keima. Can I contact the Dragon King Team?”

“Huh? Do you have something to say to them?”

“Just a little.” I had no reason to refuse, so I let her do as she wanted. They must have accepted her contact as the mirror appeared in the air again. Oh man, a huge snake. Plus a frog and a slug.

“What do you want?! Did you come here to laugh at us, Core 695?!” Rokuko let out a hmph. And then...

“Hey, hey, how does it feeeeel? How do you feeel right now? You’ve always made fun of me and I just absolutely DESTROYED you, like wow, you guys TOTALLY lost in every way, and it wasn’t even hard. How does it feel? You mad that all three of you couldn’t even beat me after ganging up together? You wanna cry? C’mon, say something, losers!”

“Woah, you actually just came to laugh at us?!”

“Obviously! I won and I’m amazing, you suckers! Later!”

“Now you’re running?!” This time, the mirror in the air disappeared like a TV being cut off. Okay, now I know that other guy was just being edgy.

“...Whew... I feel so much better now!”

“N-Nice. Glad you got all that out.”

“This is all thanks to you, Keima! Thanks!” Rokuko smiled the biggest smile she had all day, as if a huge weight had been lifted off her shoulders. I didn’t know what to say to her. So, I just rubbed her head.

“Okay everyone. Once again, congratulations on your victory, Core 89 and Core 695. It’s reward time nooow.” Father contacted us next. Here it comes... Reward time. “First, a secondary prize. As a reward for trying so hard, I will take your names—Haku Laverio, Rokuko Dungeon Core—and recognize them officially, to the full extent that my authority allows.”

“Oh my! Thank you, Father!”

“Wow! The name Keima gave me is now my official name!” I didn’t really understand how that was a reward myself, but both of the Dungeon Cores were overjoyed. But why’s Rokuko’s last name Dungeon Core...? Oh, ohhhh. Right. I called her that, like, once when I first named her. I think.

“Wait. Rokuko is Haku’s little sister, so shouldn’t her last name be Laverio?”

“Oh, um, really?”

“I mean, if you go around calling yourself Rokuko Dungeon Core, people are gonna figure out your secret in no time. So, er... Father, could you change her last name if possible?”

“Hmm, well, I like to think that all of my children share the last name ‘Dungeon Core’ as a sort of family name. But if you insist... I’ll change it just for you, Keima. I’ll take your last name and make Core 695 officially Rokuko Masuda.” Why my last name?! I looked at Rokuko and saw that she was blushing. She even put her hands on her cheeks as if heating up. Hey, I can see you grinning, y’know.

Father continued while smiling himself.

“I’m pretty bad about thinking up names myself. That’s why the numbering system was such an amazing revelation for me. I can just methodically increase their numbers. It’s easy.”

“But, er, wouldn’t Haku’s last name be fine...?”

“Haku took the name Laverio after marrying Lyon, right? I think it makes a lot of sense for Rokuko to take the last name of her partner too.”

“Father, um, are you saying, that Keima and I a-are, um, getting married?!” I glanced at Haku. Oh, she’s doing something with her hands. Mmm. Holding out her thumb, slicing it across her neck, stabbing in the direction of her heart, and then giving me a thumbs down. I can tell that’s trying to say “You’re dead and this is how I will kill you.” Fantastic.

“Hold up, Rokuko. I would like our relationship to remain clean and pure.”

“Mmm? What do you mean, pure relationship? Are there impure relationships?” Rokuko tilted her head in confusion. And then, she said, “Well, either way, I don’t mind being a little impure if it’s with you, Keima.” She gave me a bright, soft smile. The kindness in her smile made my heart thump.

“Indeed. There’s nothing like Master’s {Purification}.”

“Yup! You know what’s up, Niku. Keima’s magic can make anything clean in a second!” Rokuko nodded enthusiastically to Niku. Wait, that’s what you meant? Seriously? Christ, give me a break. I nearly had a heart attack. My heart’s had it rough lately. I really need to get some sleep. This Dungeon Battle has seriously kept me busy for a while now, I’m exhausted.

“Uhhh, anyway, I don’t think us getting married on the spot right now is exactly a good idea, so... Where I’m from, dungeons are often called labyrinths, so how about we fiddle with that and roll with Labyrinthart? Oh, hart is short for heart.”

“Labyrinth’s heart, then? That’s fine. You don’t mind if I give all my children that last name to share?”

“Not at all.”

“Okaaay. Haku Laverio and Rokuko Labyrinthart. I will recognize these names as official with all of my authority. I will also allow all of my children to address themselves with the last name Labyrinthart.” It seemed that Father really did just find it too annoying to think up a bunch of names on his own. He rolled with my idea on the spot. I was just glad that Haku wouldn’t be cutting off my head now.

“...But you know, Keima. I heard that giving rings is symbolic of marriage in your world. I think you marrying Rokuko has been a long time coming already.”

“Anyway, what was the main reward? You mentioned this just being a secondary prize.”

“Oh, that’s right. I’ll give two rewards to each of you, Haku, Rokuko.” Nice, got the topic changed.

“First, Haku, I’ll give you a Magic Blade that I made. That, and... Oh, I should probably keep this a secret from Keima and Rokuko. I’ll send it to you later, in secret.”

“I appreciate your consideration very much, Father. I will accept your gifts with gratitude.”

...I wonder if a Magic Blade made by Father will have the power to destroy the world or something. And what’s with that gift he’s keeping a secret from us? I really wanna know.

“As for you, Rokuko... Okay. I’ll give you one part of the Divine Bedding, the Divine Comforter. Oh, and Keima, this is a gift to Rokuko, not you.” Wait, the Divine Bedding is real?! And since he said one part, I guess there’s a whole lineup of Divine Bedding stuff? Holy crap. I have to collect them all.

“Divine Bedding always has a bunch of side effects and stuff, so be sure to read the instruction manual before using it. Okay. The second reward is for you, Keima. Here.” A basketball-sized white ball plopped down in front of me.

“A Dummy Core?”

“Nope. It’s empty and doesn’t have a number, but it’s a real Core. Go ahead, break it.” Uhhhhh? “You’re a Hero too, aren’t you? Not just a Dungeon Master. Something really special should happen if you break that dungeon Core, so go ahead. Oh, do you need a weapon?” Oh man, he figured me out. I guess I should have expected that... While I was wondering what to do about that, a sword dropped in front of me. It wasn’t decorated in the least, and even its handle was part of the same metal that formed the blade. Really, it looked like someone had taken a big chunk of orichalcum and morphed it into a simple sword. Wooow, a bargain on orichalcum. I wonder how many ingots it took to make this.

“Consider that a bonus. I’m in a pretty good mood today. Don’t worry, it’s not a Magic Blade or anything. It’s just orichalcum I shaped into a sword. Use it however you like.”

“Could I turn it all into wires?”

“You could. Do whatever, whateeeever you want with it.”

My {Create Golem} would definitely get found out if I messed with this sword. I held it up. Yeah, it’s a lot lighter than it looks. Must be a trademark of orichalcum.

With everything set up for me, I had no choice but to destroy the glowing Dungeon Core in front of me. I took the orichalcum sword and sliced the nameless Dungeon Core. The sword went right through it with barely any resistance. Man, this thing is sharp. I’m impressed Father just casually made something like this. Honestly, I don’t want to waste it now.

The Dungeon Core got cut in half with a single blow. Poof. A warm wind blew out of the sliced-apart Dungeon Core.

“So, how’d it go? Did you get a skill?”

“No, I don’t think s—Ah...” A shudder ran down my spine, as if I had been hit by electricity. I know this feeling. This is close to what I feel when using a skill scroll. Information was being planted directly into my brain. Ahhh, yeah, here it is. I kinda remember this. This is kinda like the “Now installing, please close all other programs until finished” phase of downloading a game.

I stood still for a bit and patiently waited for it to end. Once the installation was finished, I heard a somewhat familiar voice speak inside my head with a mechanical tone.

“You have learned {Ultra Transformation: Level 3}.” Uhhh... Why’s it already level 3? I tried figuring out why it jumped straight to level 3, but the only information in my brain was a description for how to use the skill itself. Said description was as follows.

• In each 24-hour period, you can transform into one thing you envision per skill level. (Three times per period at level 3.)
• Level 1: You can transform into something that exists.
• Level 2: You can mimic some abilities of what you’ve transformed into.
• Level 3: Once per 72-hour period, if you die while transformed, you can revive by undoing the transformation.

I expended mana while transformed. The transformation would end either when I willed it or when I ran out of mana. The rate of mana expenditure depended on what I transformed into and could become very severe. Also, my abilities while transformed were limited.

I didn’t know what additional effects level 4 and beyond would bring, but man, this seemed pretty impressive. I can transform into anything that exists, huh? I’d expect nothing less from a cheat skill. Not to mention that I can revive once per three days. Though I get the feeling that if I try to revive in the middle of lava or something, I’d just die again instantly. Oh well.

“I guess that was the announcer. Pretty similar to our menus, I think.”

“Wait, everyone else heard that too?”

“No, just me. I was eavesdropping a bit. So, what skill did you get?” Personally, I would have preferred to keep the skill hidden as a sort of trump card. But I figured it best to at least say its name. I got the feeling telling Haku was a mistake, but Father himself was asking. I definitely did not want to get on his bad side. He mentioned that I was a Hero right in front of Haku. One wrong move and they might see me as a traitor to their side.

Okay, let’s answer.

“You did give me a bonus, so I’ll tell you the skill’s name, at least. It’s called {Ultra Transformation}.”

“{Ultra Transformation}, huh? That’s a pretty interesting skill.” Huh? That sounds like he knows what the skill is. “A past Hero had that skill too. I think they got it up to level 7. They could completely copy the target’s powers and use their own at the same time with a boost. They did some pretty wild things with it.” Oh shit, that sounds crazy. Wouldn’t they be invincible?

“Oh yes. I do believe I eliminated them by swarming them with about five hundred soldiers when they were alone.”

“Right, right. That was some good work you did, Haku.”

Oh, it lost to sheer numbers, huh. Makes sense. Not like you can clone yourself with it. Wait... Huh. I bet there’s a cloning skill out there.

“In any case, I’m surprised to learn that you are a Soldier of God, Keima... I did know that you were from another world, but still.”

“Haha, well, I’m just a normal Hero since I don’t want to go out of my way to destroy dungeons. This is the first cheat skill I’m getting, anyway. I don’t consider myself a Soldier of God.”

“I see. Very well, then... Now. Would you care to share the abilities of that skill in detail? Oh, I have an idea. Would you perform a demonstration in front of me?” Okay. I can tell that’s an order.

“There’s a daily limit to how many times I can transform, so we’ll have to keep the demonstration short. What do you want me to transform into?”

“Hmmm, let’s see... Could you transform into Rokuko?” I, uh... Maybe? Let’s see.

I envisioned Rokuko in my head and chanted {Ultra Transformation}. I didn’t have to say it out loud to activate the skill, but I figured it would be best to do so here.

Woah, I’m shrinking. My vision’s kinda morphing around. Aaand... Now I’m at eye level with Rokuko.

“Wow, you really do look just like me now.”

“I can’t tell myself, but neat. Guess the transformation doesn’t extend to clothes, since I’m still wearing this jersey. And yep. My voice sounds like yours now.” The clothes I had been wearing now hung loosely off me.

“Don’t look under those clothes, got it?”

“...I wasn’t even thinking about it.”

“I’ll punch you in the face if you touch yourself anywhere.”

“Hey, I was just wondering if the transformation worked on places I haven’t seen before. Do you have any scars or something I don’t know about?”

“Nuh-uh. How could there be a scar on my body you don’t know about, anyway?”

“Ah! I had been stunned silent from the army of cute Rokukos in front of me, but I cannot let that statement go unquestioned!” Hey, hey, don’t take that the wrong way. I undid the transformation.

“...What Rokuko meant is that I have protected her well enough that nothing could have given her a scar. Go ahead and use lie-detecting magic if you don’t believe me.”

“Are you telling the truth?”

“Yes, of course.”

“...That does seem to be the case.” Oh man, she actually used lie-detecting magic on me. But that’s fine, ’cause I can prove my innocence when she does. I just have to stay innocent.

“I’ll take this opportunity to confirm this. Do you intend to harm Rokuko in any way shape or form?”

“Of course I don’t. I swear to God.”

Father suddenly burst into laughter. “Ahahaha! Did you just swear to God in front of me?! Me?! Ahaha! Keima, you are a riot.” Oh, right. This world’s God is the one sending Heroes to mess up dungeons. They’re definitely enemies. Oh, and there’s that theory about Father being a god too. I can see why he would laugh.

“Very well. By the way, would you mind transforming into Rokuko once more? I would like to have Rokuko on either side of me saying ‘I love you, sister!’ if possible.”

“Ah, sorry, but I can only transform so many times per day. That’ll have to wait for another day.”

“Oh my, what a shame. In that case... Could you try transforming into this letter? Specifically, the contents.” Haku showed me a sealed envelope. Heh. Now this is a good experiment. First, it tested whether I could transform into an inanimate object. Second, it tested to see whether I could transform into something I had never seen before. In this case, the contents of the envelope. At the same time, we would see if I retained the writing on the letter within. Haku was testing all of these things at once with a single transformation. She intended to extract as much information from me as possible while I was in a position where I had to cooperate. And when the heck did she even prepare that letter?

Well, whatever. I thought of the letter within the envelope and used {Ultra Transformation}.

“...{Ultra Transformation}.” My body twisted in shape. Yeeep, looks like I turned into the envelope. Guess my mental image was too lacking in information for me to transform into something I haven’t seen.

I drifted onto the floor. Looking at the Master Room from this angle was kind of cool... Oh, Haku’s walking this way. I can see right up her skirt. Her tights go all the way up, nice. Thanks for the view... Oh, up I go. She picked me up. Y’know, I wonder how I’m even seeing anything.

“Fascinating. The transformation included the address, which I had not shown you. But I suppose transforming into the letter was impossible? Perhaps you need to see it directly. Hm... I will try cutting you a bit. I wonder if the damage will remain when you exit the transformation.” Gyaaah?! Stop! Ah, I can’t talk! Stop twisting, I’ll rip! I’m actually gonna riiiip! I’ll revive since level 3 has that power but stiiiiiill! I immediately exited the transformation and returned to human form. In Haku’s hand.

“Kyah! Please don’t return to human form so suddenly, Kei— Oh my.”

“Whoa! Whew... That was close. I thought I was gonna die...”

“Keima?! Aaaah! Your clotheeees!” Huh? After a second of confusion, I saw my clothes piled up on the ground. Ahhh, I get it. I left my clothes behind when I transformed into an envelope. So basically, Haku is princess-carrying my completely naked body right now.

“KYAAAAAAH! HAKU, YOU PERVEEEEEEERT!”

“How rude. I cannot believe you would accuse me of being perverted. After all, you are the perverted one here, given your nude form.”

“Why are you so calm?! It’s freaking me out!”

“I’m quite used to seeing the naked corpses of adventurers, among other things. Fear not, you’re one of the cuter ones.” Stop! Don’t call me cute! It kinda hurts! “Ah, and Rokuko, do stop looking at this filthy thing of his.”

“Yesh ma’am! I’m shorry! I-I’m not looking, Keima! Don’t worry!”

“R-Right...” And so, I put my clothes back on with tears forming in my eyes. Also, Father was laughing so hard he was actually buckling over. Sniff. I can’t take this anymore.

“I think that was the hardest I’ve ever laughed in my life. You really are a funny guy, Keima. I love it. Oh, and don’t worry. I disconnected all contact with other teams after giving your secondary reward.”

“Hahaha, that’s a relief. Like, from a pride perspective, I... Yeah...” This traumatic experience had given me a good excuse to refuse further experimentation with Haku, so practically speaking, I was glad it happened. Or at least, that’s what I had to tell myself to hold back the tears. A surprising amount of secrets had been busted wide open here, but Haku’s test had ultimately been very productive. I would need to do some tests of my own once we got back.

“Speaking of which, Keima. Would you like to become an S-Rank adventurer?”

“...No thanks.”

“Heroes are generally given an S-Rank by force, you know.”

“You wouldn’t want a Hero hanging out by the [Cave of Greed] at all times either, right? It’d bring way too much attention.”

“Oh my, that wouldn’t be an issue at all. The town is growing as we speak, the time for obscurity has long passed. And really, the mere presence of a Hero would likely quell unnecessary problems before they began.” Okay, fair, that does sound pretty nice. But I’m pretty sure Heroes have duties and stuff they have to fulfill.

“Don’t Heroes have to work for the benefit of their country or something?”

“Indeed they do. That is why they are afforded such luxuries.”

“Then no thanks. ’Cause I’m not a Hero, I’m a Dungeon Master.” And I definitely don’t want to work.

Oh, wait. Maybe I could convince her if I transformed into Rokuko and acted really cute? Aaactually, scratch that. It’d probably just piss her off.

“...I suppose that’s fine. You are a Dungeon Master, after all.” Haku left it at that and returned to her seat.

Father clapped his hands to gather our attention. He must have connected everyone together again, as monitors for the Demon King Team and Dragon King Team were on either side of him.

“Okay then. Haku, Core 5, Core 6. Give us some closing words.”

“As the winner, I shall start. Core 5. I hope this lesson has reminded you of your place as a mere lizard. You would do well to show me the proper respect and never forget that you are beneath me. Of course, if you have issues with the battle that Father himself prepared, feel free to whine to your heart’s content.”

“Ngh! Grrr...!”

“Core 6. You failed to train your disciple properly. And it is quite gross how you make her call you Grandfather. In some ways, is that not disrespectful to Father? Ohhh, I suppose you chose the name to signify that you are a senile old man with no wits about him. Carry on, then. Ahaha.”

“Hmph. Foolish insults as always.”

Uh, Haku, aren’t you just trolling them?! You’re gonna start a war here. Oh, wait. Haku and Core 6 are already fighting an actual war with their kingdoms. That sounds like some real deal stuff.

“I will go next, as second place. Core 89... or Haku, rather. We are the same age, so if I am an old man, you are quite the decrepit grandma. Don’t try to act young, it’s painful to watch. Though in terms of mental age and maturity, I suppose you do remain an infantile young girl. Hahaha, I certainly am jealous of your youth! It must be nice living a life carefree enough to not develop wrinkles.”

“Oh my? Quite cocky words for a loser.”

“Hmph. I would not have lost had Core 666 not spent everything on strengthening herself. But with that in consideration, Core 666 is the long-term victor of this battle. To think that she would have obtained Invulnerability for herself.”

“Ahaha, and who in the world cares? My Rokuko saved quite a lot of the DP from this Dungeon Battle as well. So much so that she could win again if we held another battle immediately.” Oh man, she’s totally baiting him. It’s like she wants the next fight to start now since she knows we’ll win. But I don’t want to do back-to-back Dungeon Battles, so I’d really prefer it if she stopped.

“Hey. It’s my turn now, right? Listen up you two, this wasn’t my loss. I had to deal with wrangling three idiots together, and on top of that—”

“Your excuses are pathetic.”

“Silence, lizard who knows how to win only through force. You are embarrassing yourself.”

“.........”

“Though if I’m being quite honest, Core 6, the only one truly embarrassing himself is—”

“Hahaha! You’re one to talk, Haku, given how—”

Oh man, they actually shut him up. And now they’re back to trash talking. I guess this is like a third reward for them.

...Aidy was looking on with envy behind Core 6. What? Does this look like a pair of lovers sweet talking each other to her? Hey! No matter how much you look at me with eager eyes and heavy breathing, I’m definitely not gonna give you an excuse to start a full-scale war with us! Rokuko, don’t make eye contact with her? “But you’re friends”? She isn’t worth it!

Father clapped his hands. Haku and Core 6 fell silent immediately and gave him their full attention. “I’m glad that my children are all so nice and friendly with each other. But, well, all good things end eventually. Does anyone want to say goodbye before this is over?”

“Listen up, Core 695... Rokuko! Don’t get cocky just ’cause Father gave you an official name! I won’t lose to you agaaain!”

“Silence, Core 650! How dare you interrupt when Father is talking?! Looks like I’ll need to be more strict with your education... Prepare yourself! Core 651, Core 652, that goes for you two as well!”

“Croak?!”

“F-Forgive us, Dungeon Core Number Fiiive!”

“Hahaha, don’t worry about that. I did ask if anyone wanted to say goodbye. Try not to be too harsh.” Father spoke with a laugh, and Core 5 could say nothing more. Though Core 650’s snake face still looked deathly pale.

Incidentally, Aidy was looking at Rokuko with a smile. Rokuko returned that with her own smile, figuring why not since they were friends, but... Somehow, I got the feeling that Aidy was just as dangerous as Haku was. Yeah, I’m gonna pretend I didn’t see anything.

“Okay, everyone, let’s meet again at next year’s party!” And with that, Father disappeared alongside the other Cores, signaling the end to our third Dungeon Battle. Man, that felt like it took forever.

＊ ＊ ＊

The Divine Bedding. Yup, the Divine Bedding. One of the rewards we received, and in my opinion the main reward. The night of our victorious Dungeon Battle, Rokuko and I went to her room after having our fill of the celebration party. Though it was more like we individually snuck away from the party. It was both a celebration and farewell party that was planned to last two entire days, so Haku didn’t say anything when Rokuko left early.

She left the party after sending me a meaningful glance. It took a solid chunk of time before I realized what the glance meant and left the party myself, heading to her room where I imagined she was. And as expected, there she was. We met up and just like that, we were alone. Heheh. I have accomplished a feat unknown to any dense harem protagonist and understood a girl’s feelings! It’s all thanks to the connection formed between two partners of the soul. And just saying, there’s no lewd intent here. None at all.

“Th-There you are, Keima. I’ve been waiting.”

“Yep. Here I am.” Rokuko had changed into her pajamas. I knelt in front of her. And then. “Please show me the Divine Beddiiiing!”

“Wow, you really got right on the ground! Keima, you don’t need to do that. It’s okay. Lift your head. Let’s look at the Divine Bedding together.”

“Oooh... Are you an angel?”

“Y-You know you just compared me to something as dangerous as a Soldier of God, right?” Oh right, I guess angels pretty much are bad news to the dungeon faction. Angels are “Soldiers of God” too, after all. Uhhh... What should I compare her to, then?

“Demon?”

“I don’t think so.”

“Maybe... Goddess?”

“Wh-What’s with you, Keima?! I-I don’t think I’m good enough for anyone to worship!” said Rokuko, waving her hands while blushing and looking pretty pleased with herself. Okay, that’s it. Goddess. I’ll have to remember that. And speaking of which, I just remembered that Haku is sometimes called the Ivory Goddess.

“Alright, let’s see the Divine Bedding.”

“...Okay.” It was finally time to see part one of the Divine Bedding, the Divine Comforter. Every muscle in my body was tense. My heart was beating unbelievably fast. Both Rokuko and I were excited like children about to open a gift from their father.

Rokuko took out a ribbon-wrapped box that looked exactly like a Christmas present. It was too small to hold a comforter, but I figured some {Storage}-esque magic was at work. Rokuko pulled the ribbon off and then put her hands on the box’s top. I swallowed reflexively.

“...Hyah!” She steeled her resolve and opened the box. A flash of light beamed from within and out came a divinely white comforter, which landed in Rokuko’s hands.

“...It’s beautiful.”

“Uh-huh. I think so too...”

I found myself enraptured by it. This is the Divine Bedding. This is the... Divine Comforter.

“I’ll be honest. I underestimated it. I mean, wow... I didn’t expect it to be this good.”

“...It does feel good. Do you want to try touching it, Keima?”

“One sec. Lemme read the instruction manual first. ’Cause I mean, this thing is so divine one wrong touch might send me back to my world and lock me out of ever coming here again. I don’t think I should even touch the box yet.”

“Th-That’s true. You’re right, Keima. We should be careful here. Ummmm, where was the manual again?”

“Probably on the underside of the box’s cover. Try turning it upside down.”

“Okay. Like this? The futon’s in the way, I can’t see much. Can you, Keima?” Rokuko, still holding the Divine Comforter, turned the present box’s cover upside down. And... Yep. There’s a letter.

“Yep. Found it. Right where I thought it was.”

“Mmm... This? I’m kinda scared to open it.”

“If you don’t open it for me, we’ll never see what it says.”

“I-I know that. Here, you can see it now, right?” Rokuko opened the instruction manual. Within were warnings and instructions about the Divine Comforter. Let’s see here.

“...Rokuko, this is...”

“Wh-What? Is something wrong?”

The instruction manual went as follows.

Name: The Divine Comforter (Rokuko’s only)

Effect: Whoever uses this comforter will be blessed with incredible sleep. They will doubtlessly have wonderful dreams. No matter how tired they are, using this will fully restore their energy and mana. Even if they exercise vigorously before bed, they can go to work the next day without fear. One thousand year guaranteed. (However, if anyone but the owner of this item uses it, they will receive divine punishment.)

※A Note from Father※

This item belongs to Rokuko. Be careful, since only the owner can use it. The kind of divine punishment it inflicts upon anyone but its owner is so scary not even a god would mess with it. You definitely can’t use it, Keima. That said. This is to prevent theft or infidelity, so no divine punishment will fall upon a couple with trust in one another sleeping together. Understand? Okay. You know what to do.

Oh man, this note... How is this even real... And what’s with the “you know what to do”? Really? But you know, thinking about it, the gods of legend back on Earth sure did cheat a lot. Makes sense that the comforters of this world would have anti-cheating systems built in. Gonna be a lot harder to cheat with those.

...But a couple with trust in one another can sleep together. Hmmmm.

“So basically, we can sleep together in it just fine, Keima. Right? Or do you not trust me?”

“That’s not what I’m worried about. It says couples. If it’s a system to stop cheating, it might not be smart for a non-married couple to sleep together.”

“Oh, good point. I forgot I’m still Rokuko Labyrinthart right now. Should I just go ahead and change my name to Rokuko Masuda?”

“I don’t think so. Let’s not be hasty.” She FORGOT that she’s STILL Labyrinthart? Man, she’s got her sights totally set on me. I don’t dislike Rokuko, but it’s only been one year since we met. I’m not in that much of a rush to get married.

“...Y-You’re right. We need to hold a wedding and report our marriage to the chief before we can be an official married couple... oh, wait, you’re the town chief!”

“Hold up. I’m pretty sure we’d need to get Haku’s permission before any of that.”

“Mmm, but it feels like Haku kinda likes you, so I don’t think she’ll mind.” Lies. Complete lies. Haku would kill me on the spot if I gave her the opportunity.

Suddenly, Rokuko clapped her hands together.

“I know. Why don’t you just become me?”

“Become, you...? Oh, {Ultra Transformation}!” I had one transformation left. Will transforming into Rokuko let me use the Divine Comforter? Is it even possible to fool divinity? Well, considering that this skill also comes from a god, they’re on equal footing there. It’s fifty-fifty. Not to mention that I do trust Rokuko, and Rokuko does trust me. We’re not a married couple, but that’s another fifty-fifty bet. Woah! Add those fifty-fifties together and we’ve got a 100% success rate! Hell yeah!

“{Ultra Transformation}...! Alright, here we go!” I touched the Divine Bedding, having transformed into Rokuko. I had nothing to fear with a 100% success rate backing me up... nfwaaah! Just touching it made my knees buckle with sleepy bliss!

“Keima, it’s actually embarrassing to see my own face making an expression like that.”

“Oh, whoops. Didn’t notice.” I wiped my mouth in case I had been drooling.

“Do we need to worry about your transformation coming undone while you’re sleeping?”

“Doesn’t seem so. I think the transformation will remain until my mana runs out or I cancel it myself.”

“Okay. Let’s get in bed together, then. That’ll be safest.”

“Oh, nice thinking. Just what I’d expect from my partner.” Any theoretical divine punishment should be halved if I get into the bed with Rokuko. Which means that my 100% success rate has been multiplied into a 200% success rate! Didja hear that? 200, wow. No way can I lose now.

Rokuko got into a futon and covered it with the Divine Comforter before calling me over. I slid in next to her.

The Divine Comforter felt so amazing that I could pore over the life work of a thousand poets for decades and fail to find the proper words to express just a fraction of my satisfaction. If forced to say something, I would say to imagine how good you feel right after waking up. Beneath the comforter, it felt that good from start to finish, never stopping. The dream I had was pretty good too, and although I didn’t remember it, I vaguely remember a pleasant feeling similar to flying through the sky.

Day 25 of Year 2

When I woke up the next morning, Rokuko’s face was right up close to mine. Okay... It’s all coming back to me.

HOLY SHIIIIIIT! WHAT THE FUCK WAS I THINKING?! I’m alive, right?! I’m alive! No divine punishment? None? Ahhh, but it might be time delayed... 50% plus 50% equals 100%? No, you idiot, that math doesn’t make sense. That should be a maximum of 75% at best. And the punishment being divided in half has nothing to do with the success rate. Just how much did this Divine Comforter mess with my head?!

And the divine punishment’s not the only thing I should have been more careful about. Haku still exists. I’m pretty sure Haku and Rokuko are sharing this bedroom, which means it wouldn’t have been odd at all for her to walk in at any moment. The same could be said for right now.

Thus, I left the futon. Whew, let’s see... No bed sweat or anything. Just the cold sweat I just felt. {Ultra Transformation} seemed to be functioning fine and I was still Rokuko. A loli. Honestly, I was positively overflowing with mana and I got the feeling it would take a long time for my transformation to end on its own. Is all this mana thanks to the Divine Comforter’s power?

“Anyway, looks like I’m alive. For now, anyway.” Though my body did smell nice for some reason. Sniff sniff. I wonder why... Oh, this is Rokuko’s scent. It helps that we slept together, but I’m also transformed into her, so yeah. And oh shit. I just full-on sniffed her armpit. I feel kinda guilty.

“Nmmm... Wait, why’s there another me...? Oh, Keima. Morning.”

“Oh, awake, huh? Morning, Rokuko.”

“...So we’re married now, right?”

“What the hell are you saying?”

“’Cause I mean, you being me means we’re literally the same in body and soul, right? We physically became one last night and slept together... I think this is enough for a common law marriage to hold up. And it’s all thanks to the Divine Comforter!”

“No! That’s definitely not how it works!”

“...Come back in, Keima. Let’s fall back asleep together. The comforter feels amazing, doesn’t it?” Rokuko smiled at me with flushed cheeks, holding up the futon’s Divine Comforter and inviting me inside. Ngh! Now this is some skilled seduction! She’s holding up the comforter in just the right way, and I can see her feet...! Something in my chest is squeezing tight, what even is this feeling?! My head’s tingling! A-Anyway, I think I need to get out of this form as soon as possible. It’s messing me up. Making my head act weird.

...But if I leave this transformation, I’ll have no plans for dealing with Haku. I should be able to escape unharmed in Rokuko form even if she finds us like this. With that in mind, I can’t detransform yet. Or at least, I can’t leave this room as “Keima.” Which means I can’t detransform inside this room. I’ll be fine if I go back to my room and detransform there. Alright.

“Aren’t you coming, Keima?”

“S-Sorry, but this can wait until we’re back at our dungeon. This is Haku’s territory and I shouldn’t be in this room. I’m going back to mine.”

“Ahhh... You do have a point. Let’s sleep together again once we go home, okay?”

“Sure.” I turned so hard my hair spun behind me and then left the room, entering the hallway. I had to get back to my room and detransform as soon as possible. But when I took my first step down the hall...

“Oh my, Rokuko.” I reflexively jumped in fear, then turned around to see Haku rubbing her temples, looking sick. This isn’t that divine punishment, right?

“Er, uh, h-hi sister!”

“Sorry, dear, but could you not shout so loud...? I have quite the headache.” Oh crap, I just called her “sister.” Now I’ve got no choice but to trick her.

“Do forgive me for not making it to bed last night, but the alcohol just kept on flowing. By the time I realized, it was already morning... Ow.”

“Um, do you have a hangover?”

“Indeed. Some quick Restoration magic helped quite a bit, but... oh, that outfit.” That outfit? I looked down and saw I was wearing my jersey. Oh crap, did she figure it out?

“I suppose you just woke up as well, then? Gracious. Why aren’t you wearing the cute pajamas I made for you?”

“...Huh? Er, that kind of sounds like I usually sleep wearing a jersey.”

“What’s gotten into you? Of course you always sle— Ow, ow.” Rokuko always sleeps in jerseys? Well, I do remember buying some with DP. I don’t see her sleeping much, but I guess she always sleeps in one when I’m not around? I dunno why she’d do that but I’m not complaining.

“Now then, shall we go take a bath together?” Sounds fantastic. Wait, no! I gotta get away from this.

“S-Sorry, Haku, but I need to go to the bathroom!”

“Oh my. I suppose I shall go with you then.” Not even the legendary bathroom technique worked?! Ngh, fine. It’s time to unleash my ultimate move.

“Actually, never mind about the bathroom. Keima’s calling for me, so...”

“Then you most certainly need to change first. You can’t meet him wearing that jersey.”

“But, um, I have to go right now!”

“A proper lady always dresses up before meeting a gentleman. I imagine your dungeon isn’t in danger, and if it were urgent he would contact you directly. Since you don’t need to hurry, prioritize proper dress. I can assure you that Keima is sleeping while waiting for you, so fear not.” Not even my ultimate technique “My partner needs me” worked?! Wh-What else I can do...

“Now then, first comes the bath. You can change once you’re clean. I’ll dress you up quite nice and cute. If you wish, I’ll even braid your hair.”

“Er, ah, um, I don’t really think I want to take a bath right now.”

“...Keima will never fall for you if you smell of sweat.”

“A-Actually, I think Keima might actually like the smell of sweat? But anyway, I’m in a hurry, so just {Purification} should be okay.”

“My my, where’s the fun in that? None, if you ask me. I just had the Hero Workshop create new bath powder for me. We shall clean ourselves amid the soft scent of lillies.”

“Maybe later! Let’s take a long bath together when I have the time!”

“Ow... Again, the yelling does not help. Now then. I didn’t quite hear what you said, but we’ll have all the time in the world to talk once we’re in the bath.” Jesus Christ. Haku is on an absolute mission to take a morning bath with Rokuko. Somewhere during the conversation, Haku had grabbed onto my arm. Just what I’d expect from an A-Rank adventurer... She’s got no openings! What should I do?! What CAN I do?!

Three options. Please select one.

Option 1: My handsome self thinks up a genius escape plan on the spot.

Option 2: An ally comes and saves me.

Option 3: I fail to escape. Reality is cruel.

Given that I was a Dungeon Master who had defeated Aidy in a battle of wits, I selected option one!

“Well, if you insist. But I want to go change first, so, would you wait here for a second?”

“Hm? Why would you change clothes before going to take a bath?”

“It’s like how eating a snack before breakfast helps with digestion.”

“I wonder about that. But in either case, don’t we usually change together?”

“To me, dressing up before meeting you, Haku, is as important as dressing up before meeting a boy, so... I would be really happy if you waited for me. I’ll be done really soon—”

“I will wait.” YEEES!

“O-Okay, wait right here.” I returned to the bedroom. I then—although it truly pained me—woke up Rokuko from her blissful sleep. I’m sorry, but this is an emergency. I hope you can forgive me. But you know... This futon looks really great. I’m feeling pretty sleepy, zzz... Wait, crap, crap, crap.

“Mnhmmm... Keima, eating socks raw will hurt your stomach... You need to boil them in the onsen first...”

“Please, wake up. I’m begging you.”

“Fwaaah... Whaaat...? Did the socks taste good?”

“I’ve never eaten any before. So if you could lend me your socks later, I’d really—wait, never mind. Wake up.”

“...Nmm, hey, Keima. Did you change your mind?”

“Nope, something worse happened.” I explained the situation to Rokuko.

“Fwaah, okay. I just need to go take a bath with Haku myself, then.”

“Yup. And trust me... one day, I’ll repay you for having disturbed your sleep.”

“Will you do anything I ask?”

“If an investigation reveals no potential issues.”

“...Fine, okay. You owe me one,” said Rokuko with a grin as she put the Divine Comforter into her {Storage}. Owing her one was kinda scary, but I did what I had to do. Rokuko left the bedroom.

“Sorry to keep you waiting, Haku.”

“My, my! You wore the pajamas for me! Nnnghaah, my head...”

“Are you okay? Let’s get you some water and then go take a bath.” Their footsteps faded into the distance. Crisis averted. Time to head back to my room.

I left the bedroom and headed to my own room. Oh crap, Ichika’s walking this way. She’s yawning.

“Oh, Rokuko. Wassup.”

“Nothin’ much, girlfriend. Laters!”

“Wait, hold up!” I tried giving a casual greeting and then ignoring her, but she grabbed my shoulder. Oh Christ. I can’t detransform after giving a girly hello like that. I gotta act like Rokuko again...

“Rokuko... You had a preeetty good time last night, huh!”

“Wha?! I don’t know what you’re talking about!”

“Girl, you don’t need hide it from me. You had a hot and sweaty night with Master, I know. Heard your loving passion with my own two ears, dude.” Really? You eavesdropped, Ichika?

“Couldn’t hear too well through the door, but still. So pretty! Look at it! Lick it, touch it! I heard it all and you two were so lovey-dovey I had a pretty good time just listening, if you know what I mean.”

“I-I really don’t know what you’re talking about! We just both slept under the Divine Comforter, that’s all. Platonically!”

“Uh-huh, uh-huh. I get it, you’re embarrassed. But you’re looking super fresh, so it must’ve felt pretty great, huh?”

“That’s just how good the bed was. Different things.”

“Mmmm?” Ichika looked at me (transformed as Rokuko) with a grin. Why are you looking at me like I’m some kinda cute puppy? Nothing happened, I’m telling you.

“Anyway, I was just gonna ask you if that little advice I gave you helped out. So? Master totally went head over heels, didn’t he?” Hey! What’d you tell Rokuko, Ichika?!

“Mmm, weeelll? Uh-huh, h-he was head over heels, definitely.”

“Rad! Congrats, girl. That’s all I’m here to ask. You know where to come if you need any more advice, yooo.” Ichika nodded in satisfaction and walked away.

“Wait, Ichika! Don’t tell anyone I slept with him, okay?!”

“Oooobvs, girl.” And don’t just ignore that! Crap, she’s gone. That and meeting Haku definitely weren’t part of the divine punishment, right? I doubt a god would be afraid of that... Though being Rokuko has helped alleviate things.

And finally, I reached my room. I went inside and saw Niku folding up a futon.

“Oh, Rokuko. Um... Congratulations?”

“...Who’d you hear it from?”

“I listened through the door, with Ichika. Though I soon left, as I needed to use the bathroom.” Oh man, Niku too? I held my head in my hands.

“Errr, how should I explain this...”

“It’s okay. Don’t worry. Now, allow me to give you advice pertaining to Master...”

“Wha?” Advice about me? This I’ve gotta hear. Let’s wait a bit and see what she has to say.

“The first thing to Master as a dakimakura is to go to the bathroom and drink no water after that. Master rarely wakes up during the night, but even so, it does not take much to awaken him when it’s bright out or he’s already woken up once. In those cases you cannot leave to go to the bathroom, which can be fairly rough.” Uhhh... Dang, looks like she’s had a hard time. Sorry. Go ahead and use the toilet whenever you need to.

“In addition, Master won’t wake up no matter how much you lick or sniff him. Once he falls asleep, he’s yours to play with.”

“What?!”

“You can even give him love bites. The flavor can be addicting. You can judge whether he’s close to waking up by how he reacts to bites. You’ll master it over time. Oh, but it’s important to wipe up your saliva after licking.” Niku, what the hell are you doing to me at night...? But I mean, I guess that much is fine. Puppies lick their owners all the time, and I touch her dog ears, so yeah.

“Next. Here is what you’ll want to do when he gets hard.”

“Stop.” Uh... I get hard at night? Really?

“That is simply how men are. Ichika assured me of this. It gets especially hard in the morning.”

“...So, what do you do when it gets hard?”

“First, take his legs and—”

“Okay, stop. I don’t want to hear it.” What. Why is this little girl “dealing with” my morning wood? God, can you hear me? Is this divine punishment? Oh, I did this to myself?

“...This is an important part, but I understand. It is hard to describe with words, and before long I will have an opportunity to show you in person.”

“What are you planning?!”

“First, spread his legs apart, so they don’t get in the way when y—”

“Sorry, I wasn’t actually asking for specifics, that was just bad phrasing.” Man, I really hope Niku’s not acting on the “sexual tool” meaning of her name here. I’m too scared to ask. Fuck you, divine punishment. This is all your fault.

“Don’t worry, Rokuko. You’ll be fine.”

“E-Errr, what do you mean?”

“If even I can do it, you will have more than enough room.” Room for what.........? “Hm? Room to be his dakimakura.”

“R-Right.” Anyway, when should I turn back to normal? I get the feeling nothing good’s gonna happen if I stay like this. Crap, I guess Rokuko’s insane luck didn’t get copied by {Ultra Transformation!} This sucks.

And so, although it was pretty awkward, I decided to transform back to normal.

Okay, done. My jersey fit me perfectly again.

“...M... Master...?!” Niku panicked. I watched her flounder all over the place for a bit, and eventually she sat down. Then, she bowed her head incredibly low. Man, she sure is an expert at groveling.

“.........”

“You can lift your head.”

“...Understood.”

“So, what do you do to me while I’m sleeping?”

“Um, well. I... I lick you, and bite you... a-and call you daddy...” Did she just say... Daddy? Well, I guess that makes sense. Niku’s still just a kid. She’s young enough to miss her parents. And her memories are vague enough that she can barely remember them. I can understand why she’d look at my similarly black hair and want to call me dad. I’m not that old, but I am a dude. I’ll try and make this work.

“Alright. You can call me daddy every now and again.”

“Wha?! You... You don’t mind?”

“You’re a hard worker and you do good stuff. You never get pushy about things, which is nice, but... I do think you deserve more rest and rewards than you’re getting. Especially since you’re a kid.” I hugged Niku. Gently, like a father. I rubbed her head as I did so, and Niku wagged her tail.

“Okay, so is there anything you want? Daddy will see what he can do.”

“W-Well, um... Please let me bite your ear.”

“...My ear?”

“Is that, a no...?”

“Of course not. Bite it to your heart’s content. You can even lick it if you want!”

“...Yes!” She got to work absolutely devouring my ear. Man, I sure let out a weird noise when she stuck her tongue into my ear hole.

# Rokuko’s Perspective

I left the party to check the gift that Father had given me. On my way, I glanced at Keima. I wouldn’t mind giving it to Keima, but I’m using it first! Father did say it was a gift for me, so.

I returned to my room and summoned the Divine Comforter that Father had given me. It plopped right out of the menu.

“Wow, so this is the Divine Comforter... It feels super nice. But not thaaat amazing, I guess?” With a plop, a letter and a box fell out of it. A box...? The letter must be the instruction manual Father mentioned. The Divine Comforter could wait. I went ahead and opened the letter. Inside was an instruction manual that Father had written.

“Ummm, let’s see here.”

Name: Divine Comforter (Owner: Rokuko)

Effect: You can sleep with anyone you wish. Fate itself will be manipulated, and none will interfere until morning. If it is physically impossible to meet the one you wished for, you will meet in your dreams instead. Note: This effect can be used only once per 8760 hours (365 days). Note: As the one you wish for will be summoned against their will, they may arrive feeling confused or disjointed. This will recover by morning.

The dreams you have will be shared with them. You can freely select the contents of the dreams. The owner of the bedding has priority here. Note: The owner can select whether the memories of these dreams will be retained.

If you sleep beneath this comforter for over one hour, all of your strength and mana will be restored. Even if you sleep for less than one hour, you will still regain some of both. Injuries are not cured. Note: If one other than the owner sleeps beneath this comforter without permission, their strength and mana are drained instead.

Additionally, sleeping beneath this comforter makes it more likely for convenient things to happen to the owner. The extent of this depends on the owner’s luck.

A Note From Father: This is a present from your father to you, Rokuko! Ah, the present box itself is just a bonus. Be sure to put the comforter into the box before showing it to Keima. I included a fake instruction manual on the underside of the box’s cover. You should show that one to him instead. I wrote that only your husband can sleep in beneath the Divine Comforter, Rokuko. The rest is up to you. Try and take things to the next level so he can’t escape. Also, this letter disappears on its own, so be careful.

“W-Wow, those are some amazing effects. This really is the Divine Comforter... wait, it disappears?” The letter vanished with a poof after I finished reading it all. Well... That’s Father for you. I don’t really understand him! Anyway, time to try out this Divine Comforter. I put a hand on the comforter and... How should I make my wish? I guess I’ll just try saying it.

“...Oh mighty comforter, oh mighty comforter. I want to sleep with Keima.” Actually saying that felt kinda embarrassing. But the comforter shined. That seemed to have done it.

“Wait, that means Keima’s coming, right? I need to get this into the present box...” I pressed the futon against the box and it got sucked right in. Once I put the cover on it, I was done. Oh... I should put this box into {Storage}.

...Wait, I haven’t changed! I’m not ready! I need to change before Keima gets here. Ummm, I shouldn’t wear my usual jersey. I’d be super embarrassed if Keima found out I was wearing his clothes to match him. Haku made that, um, negligee(?) for me, so I’ll just change into that. Mph, haah, plop. Done! Oh, it’s kind of transparent. Mmm... Well, okay! I have underwear on, it’s fine.

Oh right, I need to wear cute socks for Keima. Aaah, but he’s already on his way here! Maybe I should just go barefoot? Actually, that’s probably for the best, since we’re getting in bed! And Ichika told me I should show him my bare feet! I sat on the bed, this time completely ready. I waited for Keima, excited.

After a bit, someone knocked on my door.

“Who is it?”

“It’s me.” He’s here! Keima actually came! I opened the door.

“Th-There you are, Keima. I’ve been waiting.”

“Yep. Here I am.” Keima smoothly knelt in front of me. And then. “Please show me the Divine Beddiiiing!” He groveled in front of me. Honestly, I can’t tell if this is him getting disjointed or if it’s just him being normal.

＊ ＊ ＊

Now then. Keima was sleeping soundly beside me. He looked like me, but he was definitely Keima. I stroked his cheeks. Then, I touched his lips. Normally, whenever I tried to kiss Keima, I’d end up hitting his cheek or nose, but this time, I got the feeling I wouldn’t miss.

I straddled Keima, taking care not to wake him up. My heart was pounding. Calm down, me. Keima’s sleeping. There’s plenty of time.

I slowly lowered my face to his. Thirty centimeters. Twenty. Ten, five. Keima’s breath tickled my face. We were so close. I angled my chin to precise coordinates in order to avoid kissing his nose.

I shut my eyes. I could hear Keima’s breath right next to me. I steeled my resolve and lowered my face further...

...Kiss.

Soft lips touched mine. Our noses rubbed together. The ticklish sensation sent sparks through my head and wet my eyes... fwaah! I threw my head back and opened my eyes.

“I did it, I did it...! F-Finally!” I opened my eyes, and saw myself sleeping beneath me. That kinda killed the mood a little.

“Zzz...”

“...It’s like I’m looking at a mirror.” Keima was asleep, looking exactly like me. Wait. Does this mean I didn’t technically kiss Keima? I poked Keima’s cheek. Yep, that’s my face.

Well, whatever. I’ll steal Keima’s real lips next time! For now, the dream. Maybe I should make it one where I tease Keima a lot? I could make him wear bunny suits and stuff!