Side Chapter — The Church in My Town

The name’s Robbo. I’m your every day adventurer, living in Goren.

I came to the town winter of last year with my eyes set on profit after hearing you could find Iron Golems in a nearby dungeon. Before I knew it, I had a plot of land to look over and I was a permanent resident.

For starters, I was the fifth son of a farmer and always wanted my own land. My eldest brother took over the whole farm I grew up on. It was either be treated like a slave tending his fields or become an adventurer. Back then I never woulda thought I’d one day own my own land to farm, not to mention high quality land right next to a dungeon.

Almost brings a tear to my eye. Whoops, there’s some weeds growing. Crops grew faster near a dungeon, but so too did weeds. Dungeon farms took constant, thorough upkeep. Heh... I sure am sounding like a farmer now, huh? I couldn’t help but grin.

Ever since getting my land, I had started hunting more for Goblins than for Iron Golems since they were better as fertilizer. At most I partied up with some other villager adventurers to hunt Iron Golems when I wanted some extra money.

I finished my daily chores and, having nothing else to do, looked over my field with a grin. It wasn’t long before Zun and Dokko walked up to chat.

“Heeeya, Robbo. Grinning at your field like a creep again, I see.”

“Why dont’cha marry your field if you love it that much?”

“Shut it. I see you two looking at your fields the same way. And I’m already married to my field, we’re in love.” The three of us laughed together. These two had gotten fields in Goren just like me. We partied up together fairly often. I liked them a lot.

“Hey, we were about to go hunting for Iron Golems. Want in?”

“We wanna drink a lot today and go wild, y’know? I’d feel a lot safer down there with you around.”

“Sure. Got nothing better to do. Who’s bringing the cart?”

“Zun. All you need is your own equipment.”

“Got it.” I headed back home and got out my equipment. Thanks to keeping up on repairs, I was ready in no time.

“Gonna pray first?”

“Duh.” We always went to a certain place before heading to the dungeon. A divine building with white walls and a blue roof. Indeed, the church.

The Beddhist Church was now an indispensable part of the town, ironic considering how it simply appeared out of nowhere one day—according to the town chief, he asked a construction magic specialist he knew to build it.

Rumor was that praying at the church increased your chance of finding Iron Golems in the dungeon.

Rumor was that saying the holy prayers within the church cured insomnia.

Rumor was that the nuns were so cute they somehow healed all visitors of their horny moods.

The church was especially good at curing insomnia, to the point that even a noble somewhere had joined the church. It seemed that the waves of Beddhism were spreading throughout the world with Goren at the center of it all.

Naturally, I worshiped Beddhism. My main church used to be the Ivory Church like most adventurers, but thanks to a sub-religion system or whatever it was, I practiced Beddhism on the side and through daily prayer it eventually became what I truly believed in. Especially since its prayer was just saying “Oyasumi” before bed. And that was optional, too. Not to mention that just grinning at my field counted as praying to Beddhism somehow. Honestly, it was the perfect church for me.

We passed through the church doors. Warm light shone through the colored glass windows, lighting up the pristine, comforting interior. The air was just humid enough to feel soft and refreshing. A breeze stirred the air within the chapel and kept our bodies at the perfect temperature. It was hard not to yawn on the spot. There were several believers in the church already, some reading books and others sleeping.

...I still can’t believe this place lets us read books for free. I heard Keima donated them or something? My thoughts were interrupted by an approaching nun. It was Suilla, head nun. Her pink hair swayed as she walked and just by approaching I could smell her nice scent. She was wearing the chaste clothes of a nun, but they couldn’t hide her shapely body, and honestly only served to make her look even sexier. There was a slit in her skirt to enable more freedom of movement and the way her bare legs peeked through them was incredibly hot. Though my eyes were always drawn to her boobs, which bounced with each step. And man, did I want to grope the hell out of her shapely ass...

Ah! Crap, crap. What am I, a pervert? The town chief must be rubbing off on me.

“My my, hello Robbo, Zun, and Dokko. Have you come to pray?” Her voice was so smooth it felt like she was stroking our backs just by speaking. To be honest, there were more than a few people who worshiped Beddhism just to get closer to Suilla. Though there were other nuns than just Suilla, and all of them were attractive. All of them women, and all of them attractive. Were nuns supposed to be young and sexy? Regardless, we believers were happier than not to have eye candy nuns around the church.

“Yes, Sister Suilla. We’re here to pray.”

“Sister Suilla, you’re as pretty as ever today!”

“Here, I’ve brought an offering to the church. Consider it yours.” Dokko took out a bundle of vegetables from his field and gave them to Suilla.

“My, these carrots look delicious! Thank you very much.” Suilla blushed, rubbed the carrots lovingly against her cheeks, and kissed them. It was nice to see your hard grown food be so loved. She would definitely have a good time eating them. I would die to be those carr— Er, never mind. Hey, Dokko, why are you leaning forward? I mean, I can’t blame you, but c’mon.

“It seems that you are on your way to the dungeon, which must mean you are praying before work. Shall I keep today brief, then?”

“Yes, thank you.” We each handed a single copper to the nun. The church didn’t require that you offer money, but we felt that it was the right thing to do. Gods were more likely to help those who paid than those who didn’t, probably. Wait, I think Beddhism doesn’t have a god... Meh. Whatever. I got to touch Suilla’s hand when giving her the coin. That’s good enough for me.

“Now then... We work now so that we may sleep later, oyasuminasai.”

“Oyasuminasai,” said all three of us in unison, repeating the holy chant as Suilla clasped her hands in front of her chest. It was a brief prayer, but hey, that was what we asked for.

“Go forth, then, brave adventurers.”

“Yep, we’ll be back!”

“Gonna make lots of money!”

“I’ll bring back a gift for you, Suilla.” It was nice having a nun see us off. It was very nice. Reason being, it kind of felt like the church was our home and the nuns our family. The three of us headed to the dungeon with our moods bright.

＊ ＊ ＊

And so, perhaps thanks to the effects of our prayer, we bagged an Iron Golem. Selling it at the Guild and splitting the profit by three put some weight into our pockets.

“Things always go well when we pray, heck yeah!”

“We’ve got plenty of money to play around with now.”

“Still gonna tend the fields, though.”

Farming was our life’s work. If it came down to adventuring or farming, we would pick our fields. But right now we were happy to keep up both. If only I had a wife...

“Alright, I’m gonna go pray at the church.”

“Same. It’s thanks to Beddhism that we bagged an Iron Golem today, so yeah.”

“We know you just wanna see Suilla again, man.”

“Shut it, Dokko! I just want to pat Michiru’s head, that’s all!”

“Are you a lolicon, man?”

“No! My love for Michiru is platonic! Like a father’s love!” I dunno about that. But either way, we headed to the church again. It was evening. The church closed fairly early since night was for sleeping, but it should still be open.

“Oh, hellooo?” We were greeted by the smallest nun of all, Michiru. Speaking of which, her nun outfit had a slit in its skirt too. I heard that the town chief bought these clothes for them, so... Yeaaah... Keima never holds back when little girls are involved. Honestly, at this point, I kinda respect him for it.

Zun patted Michiru’s head and gave her an especially large eggplant. Where the hell were you hiding that, Zun?

“Wow, so biiig!” said Michiru as she clung to the eggplant and rubbed her cheeks against it. Uhhhh, huh. I feel like something profound is blooming within me. This must be that fatherly love Zun was talking about. Yeah, definitely. Yeah.

We handed over our offerings to Michiru and gave a short prayer. It kind of felt like giving an allowance to our niece, in a way. Very healing.

“Alright, time to hit the bar. You coming, Robbo?”

“Nah, I’m gonna stay here a bit more. I wanna read some.”

“Cool. I’ll be there if you change your mind. Not that I’ll be waiting or anything,” said Zun before leaving with Dokko. They were good friends, easy to hang out with.

I took a book about agriculture from a shelf and sat down. I wasn’t the most literate person in the world, but since adventurers had to know how to read quest listings to survive, I could read simple descriptions. Not to mention that this book was written by an adventurer, judging by the “Translation: Ichika” on the front page. It was pretty easy to read.

Let’s see here. Fertilizer, in field, crush shells into powder... Huh, I didn’t know seashell powder could work as fertilizer. Not just Goblins, then. Might have to ask a merchant for some the next time I go to Pavella.

I worked my way through the book. Each page taught me something new, but I must have been tired from days of work, as I slowly started drifting off before finally...

...Ah! I accidentally fell asleep. I hurriedly cast {Purification} on the desk and book to get my drool off them. The book got clean real easily, maybe since it had some extra protection somehow. Whew... I couldn’t pay damages for a book.

I sat up and a blanket fell off my back. It seemed someone had put it on me while I was asleep.

“I see that you prayed quite fervently today, Robbo.” Suilla, sitting next to me, gave a gentle smile.

“...Er, did you put that blanket on me, Suilla?”

“Yes, so as to ward off a cold. And... You looked cute while asleep.” She must have looked at my face while I was asleep. I was used to that kind of thing due to my history sleeping outside on adventures, but with Suilla involved it felt kind of embarrassing.

The sun had already set and night had come. It was long past the time the church should have closed.

“Sorry for keeping you up this late. I should get going.”

“Why, it’s not a problem at all! In fact, feel free to sleep a little longer if you’d like,” said Suilla with a somewhat regretful expression. She resembled a child who had their hand slapped right before they could gorge on cookies... Wait, no, what am I thinking? That’s gotta be my imagination. No way would Suilla try to play a prank on me or something.

“...Speaking of which, did you know that this church has bedrooms in it?”

“It has... bedrooms?” I asked, and Suilla smiled gently.

“Indeed. There is a section of the church that resembles an inn, equipped with rooms such that individual believers can offer solemn prayers in private... and of course, by that I mean they sleep. Rest assured, the rooms lock from within,” explained Suilla with a smile.

She then brought her face up close to my ears and whispered quietly. Naturally, her voice tickled my ear and made my brain tingle sweetly. “By the way... If you would donate two silvers to the church, we can offer a special prayer in the room alone together, just you and I.”

“Wha...?! T-Two silvers, s-special prayer?! Alone together?”

“Ahaha. What do you say? I’m only suggesting this because it’s you, of course... I respect how fervently you prayed today.” Because it’s you. Hearing those words made me swallow. Suilla smiled sensually. Her smile exuded a sexy aura that didn’t match her nun outfit at all. My wallet... had enough! I nodded without hesitation.

Suilla gave a quiet giggle. C-Cute!

“Follow me, then...” I gave her the silvers and she took my hand, guiding me to a bedroom. Inside was a narrow but respectable futon and nothing else. It was indeed a room that existed solely to sleep within. Once inside, Suilla...

Suilla let me use her lap as a pillow. Huh? Er, I mean. This isn’t what I expected, but it’s still pretty good. Honestly, it might even be better. I really shouldn’t have expected to, uh, go all the way with Suilla for just two silvers. That’d be ridiculous. Hahaha. Haaah...

“Feel free to fall asleep. I will leave the room afterwards, but your prayer will remain utterly undisturbed.”

“A-Alright.” She stroked my hair. Oh man, this feels good... And holy cow, she smells amazing. She smells so freaking good. Is she wearing some kind of special Beddhist perfume or something?

“Close your eyes, relax... Yes, just like that. Take deep breaths... I’ll be following after you, don’t worry...”

“.........” As Suilla spoke, sleepiness pushed against me.

And so, I slept soundly all the way until morning. Suilla was gone when I woke up, but between you and me, thanks to her lap I had an amazing dream where she and I went full on lovey-dovey.

...And also between you and me, I cast {Purification} reflexively as soon as I woke up. It was the first wet dream I had ever had since growing up.

In any case, I left the room feeling refreshed and ran into Suilla doing some morning cleaning.

“Oh, good morning, Robbo. You were certainly as tasty as I expe— I mean, you certainly fell asleep early last night. How do you feel now? Is everything okay?”

“Thanks to you, I feel amazing. Never been better. Ahaha.”

“I am glad to hear that.” Suilla gave me a warm smile.

“Should I keep last night a secret?”

“Mmm, no, you can talk about it to those you trust. But there are only a limited number of rooms here, so not every believer can be catered to at once. We also refuse such service to those who are violent with the nuns.”

“I see...”

“...By the way, if you wish to have another nighttime prayer later, we also offer a service where we sleep in the same bed for three silvers.”

“I’ll come again!” I said firmly, clasping Suilla’s hands. She blushed and looked away shyly, glancing back in my direction before glancing away again. Eventually, she squeezed my hands back.

“...It’s a promise, okay? You’ll come again no matter what, right...?” Ngh, she’s too cute! I’m gonna fall for her at this rate.

Anyway, I’ve gotta tell Zun and Dokko about this. They’re probably passed out drunk in the bar right about now. But I headed for my field first. Had to make sure it was doing alright.