Epilogue

Day 6X of Year 2

I woke up. Pain shot through my head.

Wh-What happened? I think I was... Wait, what? This is a room in the inn? The grand suite, even. Didn’t Leona catch me in her trap or something? Wait, what happened after that? Ngh, my memories are blurry, just a big chaotic mess. Let’s see... Leveling up Hero skills, Authority, Core 4... Yeah, I remember most of what Leona told me.

But I don’t remember why I’m here. Am I just forgetting? Or am I in a dream right now? My thoughts were interrupted by a knock on the door.

“Who’s there?”

“It’s me, Niku.” It sounded like Niku, too. I started to say she could come in, but checked how I looked first. I was naked. Beneath a comforter. Which was for some reason the Divine Comforter. That didn’t make sense. The grand suite’s bed had feather comforter of its own.

Also, I felt something heavy on me. I looked down and saw Rokuko clinging to me in her loli form, asleep. A-At least she’s wearing clothes. That means this is fine, right? Right.

“Hold on, Niku. I’m gonna ask some questions. Answer through the door, if you don’t mind.”

“Okay.”

“...How many days ago did we fight Leona?”

“It’s been three days.” Wait... What? I went and told Ittetsu about Leona the day after we fought. That means there’s a one day gap here. That’s... Very, very scary. I wish I could say that I’m just blanking out, but it’s a lot more likely that Leona did something to me.

I looked down at Rokuko, who was happily drooling on my stomach. It hurt, but I had to wake her up.

“...Hey, Rokuko. Wake up. C’mon.”

“Keimaaa... Shlp shlp, nom nom.”

“Bah! Don’t lick my belly button, that tickles. And stop wiggling, please, you’re making me feel weird! Just wake up already, please.”

“Bwuh?! Ah, Keima! Are you back to normal?!” said Rokuko immediately after waking up, which just worried me even more. Just what did Leona do to me?!

“Yesterday was crazy, Keima, you were completely out of your mind. But don’t worry, only Niku and I saw you like that.”

“...Uh, what did I do?”

“You suddenly hugged me and started whispering romantic lines right into my ears. I mean, I was pretty happy hearing you get so passionate, but it just didn’t feel like you. So I brought out my Divine Comforter and put you to sleep.” In other words, she used the Divine Bedding’s healing power. Actually, does it cure status effects? I only remember it healing mana and stamina.

...Wait. Hold on, wait. This is actually really bad. The Divine Comforter’s supposed to curse any non-couple that sleeps in it. What about the divine punishment? Does this mean it considers us a couple? Seriously? Rokuko and I are a couple in the eyes of the gods?

“Hey, Rokuko.”

“Yes, Keima?”

“...Are you and I— Wait, first, why am I naked? Please, let me put some clothes on.”

“Ah, right. I’m so glad you’re back to normal. You stripped your clothes off before getting in bed with me. They should be on the ground over there.” Indeed, my clothes were on the ground. I hurriedly put them on.

“.........” Er, please don’t stare at me. I’m changing clothes, it’s embarrassing. I finished changing my clothes while Rokuko, sitting on the edge of the bed, watched.

Okay, time for questioning. I sat down to the left of Rokuko.

“Err, well, uh. Rokuko. I have a question.”

“Mhm. What’s that?”

“...Are you and I a couple?”

“Bwuh?” said Rokuko, stunned. What’s that “bwuh” supposed to mean? “Bwuuuh?!”

“Please, Rokuko. Be more clear.”

“...Um, well, I mean. We’re partners, right?”

“Don’t look away, Rokuko.”

“...Okay, we’re a couple, then.” What’s with the “then”?

“...We’re not a couple, right?”

“We’re not, I guess...” said Rokuko, hanging her head with a grim expression. Yeah, I didn’t think so.

“...This is bad. This is the Divine Comforter here, even gods are afraid of it. What’re we gonna do, Rokuko? I might die here.”

“Bwuh?! Ah, th-that’s what you’re worried about? I thought you just didn’t want to be a couple with me... Ummm. Well, I think you’ll be fine. I gave you permission, so it won’t curse you.”

“Wait, really? You can mess with the settings like that? Because you own it, I guess?”

“Ahhh, ummm, sure. I just realized that recently.” Dang, that’s great. She should have mentioned it earlier.

...Speaking of which, I somehow slept in Leona’s Divine Comforter without any issues too. Guess Leona must have given me permission too. Or maybe me losing my memories is part of the divine punishment? Ngggh, my head. I just can’t remember...

“Um, Keima? What kind of, um... What are we, really? We’re... not a couple, right?”

“Tough question. We’re definitely not married. We haven’t signed any paperwork or done any of the steps.”

“And why haven’t we? Keima, do you not want to marry me...?” said Rokuko, looking at me with tears in her eyes.

I mean... I wouldn’t mind it. I didn’t dislike Rokuko or anything. Really, it was hard to imagine anyone being my partner but Rokuko. Well, there is Niku, but she’s a literal child. And she’s busy being my dakimakura. Which just leaves Rokuko.

But if I said we were a couple here, Haku would kill me twice. Once to break my {Ultra Transformation}, then a second time once I was out of extra lives. She wouldn’t stop until I was gone for good.

“So, Keima. You wouldn’t mind marrying me?”

“...I wouldn’t, but uh, it’s only been a little over a year since we met. I think it’s a bit early for that. One year is just too short.”

“You think so? I thought humans would marry super fast since they have such a short lifespan.” Rokuko put a hand on her chin and fell into thought. Maybe that’d be true for me if Haku didn’t have a knife against my throat.

“...Some people are like that, yeah. Some marry the day after they meet and sometimes political marriages happen before the two involved ever meet. But I like taking things slow, personally. One year feels too short for me.”

“Okay... So, in that case, what kind of relationship do we have?”

“Ehhh. I don’t really think we’re lovers, so... Aren’t you fine with us just being partners?” We were pretty close to being lovers, but if I admitted that, Haku would kill me on the spot. I didn’t want to die, so I got the feeling it would be smarter to push our relationship under the ambiguous title of “partners” rather than “lovers” or “husband and wife.” I survived this long doing that, anyway.

“...Okay, but I’ll get super pouty if you start dating anyone else but me!”

“Pouty? You won’t try to stop me?”

“I don’t think you would do that unless you had a really good reason for it, so I wouldn’t be against it. But I would get SUPER pouty. So pouty that it’d take three fresh melon rolls just to calm me down a little.”

“Well, I don’t think that’ll ever happen, but if it does I know what to do.”

“I’ll forgive you, then!” I patted Rokuko’s head. She gave a big smile. Since she was in loli form, it warmed my heart quite a bit.

“Ahhh, uh. Should I stop sleeping with Niku?”

“Hm? Why would you need to stop? She’s just your dakimakura.” I didn’t understand where Rokuko drew the line. But well, I was pretty used to using Niku as a dakimakura by now, so I didn’t want to push the point and suffer for it.

“That reminds me, I told Niku to wait outside. Niku, you can come in.”

“Yes, thank you.” Niku entered the room. She then approached me and checked up on me. She hugged me and smelled me. For a second I worried that I smelled like sweat, then remembered that the Divine Comforter got rid of that.

“...Are you back to normal?”

“He is,” said Rokuko, answering for me. Personally I didn’t know if I was back to normal, since I didn’t remember being not normal, but alright.

“I heard I was acting pretty weird yesterday. Sorry for the trouble.”

“It’s fine. I’m just your dakimakura, Master,” said Niku with a bow. I did feel a little weird about her saying that too, but this ship has sailed. I patted Niku’s head. Her hair was soft and felt nice. She wagged her tail. But then, she hung her head weakly.

“Hm? What’s wrong, Niku?”

“This all happened because of me. I put you through so much trouble since I let Leona capture me...”

“Don’t worry about that. We just got together to get my dakimakura back, that’s all. Right?”

“Uh-huh. Keima would never abandon his favorite dakimakura,” Rokuko pinched Niku’s ears and pulled. Niku let out a tiny woof and fell forward, right into Rokuko’s gentle embrace.

“...Really, don’t think you’re ever getting away from us. Nom.”

“Hyaaahn! U-Understood, Rokuko...” said Niku as Rokuko gave her dog ears love bites. Wait, when did they get so close? Should I lend Niku to her tonight? Or maybe every night I don’t use her? Only if she’s okay with it, of course.

“Oh, whoops, I’ve kinda gotten addicted to this ever since that Kosaki incident... Her ears just taste too good. Want to try, Keima? They’re soft and nice. Look, her other ear’s open for biting.”

“Nfffhh. G-Go ahead.” Niku pointed her other ear my way while still held tightly in Rokuko’s embrace.

“...Maybe next time.” I honestly might have said yes if we were talking about feet here. That was close.

“Well, um, goodbye.” Niku left after Rokuko had her fill of dog ear. She looked a little floaty... Hopefully she didn’t have any problems at work later.

“...Oh yeah. What’s happening with the Succubi?”

“Right, right. It’s only been two days, but they’re doing their job just fine. Nobody’s getting suspicious. They replaced Leona at the church without any fuss.” The Succubi had once worked for Leona, but it sounded like they weren’t causing any problems here. Which makes sense, given that I used {Treaty} to bind them to my will while they’re in town, saying that they could leave if they didn’t want to follow my orders. We get more DP per day, the church has more workers, and gears were turning smoothly. I guess if you ignore the horrible series of events that led to this, things ended up pretty alright? This is basically the definition of “all’s well that ends well.”

“By the way, Keima. You and I are, um, partners... Right?”

“Yep. Partners.” Rokuko and I had found an anchor to ground our once-ambiguous relationship, although the anchor was a bit ambiguous as well. Maybe I owed Leona some thanks since she was the one who led me to sleeping in Rokuko’s Divine Comforter in the first place. Actually, never mind. This is Leona we’re talking about here.

Still, to think I’d end up pushing our relationship into the partner category. The me of just a few months ago never would have considered doing that. Rokuko and I, or maybe it was just me, might have been worrying a bit too much about specific labels, like whether we were a couple or not, married or not, and so on.

“So, what can partners do together?” Uh oh.

“We can go on dates together, right? We can hold hands? Sleep in the same bed? A-And, wh-what about, um, kissing?! Can we kiss?!” I didn’t want to lay out specific ground rules like that, since I wouldn’t be able to make excuses to Haku if she found out. But well, I guess it’s a bit late for that anyway. “Kissing must be okay! Wh-Which means, well, um. Want to kiss? Do you? Let’s kiss, okay...?” Rokuko leaned against me. She was breathing heavily. I could tell that she had been holding herself back for a long time. Which maybe, uh, was making her a bit desperate here, like something inside of her had snapped.

“Rokuko. Calm down. Haaah... Alright, alright. I get it already. Don’t move.” I said, placing my hands on Rokuko’s shoulders.

“K-Keima...? Um, what do you mean, don’t mov—” Before she could finish, I kissed Rokuko on her squishy cheek.

“—Khaawsedrftgyfujikolp?!” When I leaned back, Rokuko was flapping her mouth with her eyes open wide, blushing bright red and failing to form any words. Steam was basically blowing out of her ears.

“H-Hey, are you alright?”

“Yeeesh! I’m okay! Ahaha, hahahahahahaha!” Rokuko stood up, holding her cheek, and left the room while laughing awkwardly to hide her embarrassment. Man... Reacting like that over a kiss on the cheek? What a cutie.

Aaanyway, I guess it’s time for Haku to kill me.