Extra Episode — Pretty Keima: “Um, Is Your Head Feeling Alright, Keima?”

We were in the middle of our battle with Leona. This time, I was stuck in the Master Room alone.

“Ngggh. Keima’s usually in the Master Room with me when things go bad like this...” I couldn’t calm down. I just felt uneasy somehow. All I could do was watch Keima and the others enter Leona’s dungeon through Phenny’s eyes.

Her dungeon was very different from both our [Cave of Greed] and the other dungeons we had seen during Dungeon Battles. Nothing within was life-threatening. It was all safe and they were basically just playing games. An abnormal dungeon. One not like any dungeon I knew. Maybe it reflected what kind of things were bottled up in the heads of Heroes like Keima and Leona. There was definitely a connection there.

At some point, I ended up just having fun watching Keima and the others earn points in Leona’s dungeon. Though it wouldn’t be nearly as fun if I didn’t know that Leona was contractually obliged to keep them safe.

“Keima, is this what she meant by athletic games?”

“...Yeah, pretty much. They’re games where we gotta use our bodies to do challenges,” answered Keima, his breathing a little rough. Although he had the Golem assistance helping him out, his body still had to move. There was no avoiding the stamina drain.

“Still, Keima, you sure got tired fast.”

“Yeah, ’cause I’m a mage. I stick to the back row.”

“Even people in the back need to be fit. Redra said that exercise is the key to living longer, so.”

“Redra’s a Dragon! Though yeah, exercising a bit would be smart.” To be fair, Dragons did have a much longer lifespan.

“I’m a Dungeon Master, so... All I need to do is sit in the Master Room and mess with menus.” I would like for Keima to be next to me like that, I thought.

“Well, just get Niku and hurry back. She’s your important dakimakura.”

“Yep.” I was a little jealous of Niku. Keima going this far to save her showed just how much he liked her. If I were kidnapped, would Keima try to save me too? He definitely would, right?

＊ ＊ ＊

I watched Keima cry through the monitor. Rei had died. Would Keima cry like that for me if I died...? Wait, that doesn’t work. If I die, Keima will die too.

Those thoughts were on my mind even though Rei had died. I thought that I cared a lot about Rei, but maybe I didn’t. Maybe Dungeon Cores were built to not feel sad when monsters died. Or maybe I was just cold-hearted. Ahhh, there I go again, thinking about myself. Can’t I think about anyone but me?!

“And anyway, since she’s a Named Monster, you can just revive her!” Oh right, you could do that. I remembered hearing some other Cores talking about that once. Right, I just didn’t cry because I subconsciously remembered that we could just revive her!

Rei, once revived, tried to show Keima her underwear.

“W-Wait, Rei?! I’m glad you’re alive, but what are you doing?!” I tried to control Rei to stop her, but Leona just burst into laughter. She then teleported away, satisfied.

The remaining Succubi were sworn to compliance through {Treaty} and taken to our dungeon, or more specifically, to our church. Including that one Succubus that was close to Kinue.

In any case, as soon as everything was over, we all went to the church to talk about things with the Succubi. The monster girl trio, the Silky triplets, Niku, and Ichika all joined in by swapping shifts around. Reason being:

“And then, the noble Keima... cried over Mistress Rei, a mere monster!” declared a Succubus.

“I can’t believe that he would cry over a monster! Is he really a human?”

“No, he’s a Dungeon Master, remember? Aaah. I wish I had seen that too.”

“Weeeell, the truth iiiis, Rokuko stored a video of iiiit.”

“Neruneh, I would like to see that as well. I wasn’t able to before on account of being dead.”

...Under the guise of getting on friendly terms with the new members of the dungeon, we were all squealing in excitement while talking about Keima. Of course, I took the opportunity to unveil my secret footage of him! Eheh, it sure feels great to hear people compliment my partner!

“But it looks like he didn’t know that he could revive Rei.”

“Don’t be dumb, Hanna. That’s why this is so good. He’s not crying because it’ll cost DP to revive her, he’s crying out of sadness from the bottom of his heart! For a monster!”

“You are wise, Nicole. To think that you would notice what I, the great Pio, would miss. Truly, our master is a noble man.” I’m just glad the Silky trio is getting more loyal with each passing day.

“By the way, where did Keima go today?” asked one of the Succubi, who I think was named Suilla.

“I think he said he was going to talk to the Dungeon Core beside us about Leona. Buuut that was a while ago. He’s definitely late.”

“They must be having a fun time of their own.”

“That could be. Leona was a fun girl in her own way, even though she was kinda messed up in the head. By the way... Why were you all serving Leona anyway?”

“A gang war broke out in the red light district we lived in and ultimately we were driven from our homes. As we starved on the road, she found and saved us. Or well, it was more like she devoured us herself, but in Succubus terms we ended up with full stomachs so it’s all the same.”

“Hmm, I guess you’ve all been through a lot.” That reminded me of the fact that Leona was apparently a Dungeon Master slash Hero just like Keima, summoned to the world five hundred years ago. Which meant that there was a way for Keima to live for over five hundred years, right? In that case, I wouldn’t need kids to not be lonely!

“Okay! Time to find a way to help Keima live longer!”

“Oh, I think I can help with that. There exists a Divine Comforter passed down through our Succubus tribe. When I offered it to Leona, she noted that anyone who gathered all pieces of the Divine Bedding set and used them together would become immortal!”

“Wow, that is a big help! I have a Divine Comforter too. What else is there? More details, please!” And so, I got so worked up with the conversation that I didn’t feel uneasy about Keima’s absence at all. It wasn’t until the next morning that I got uneasy.

“Keima never came home, Redra. Is he with you?”

“What?! Keima left yesterday when it was still light out!” I went to the [Flame Caverns] to ask, but Keima was nowhere to be found. Where had he gone?

Maybe... he had died? No no no, he had {Storage}, his Wearable Golem, and even the Magic Blade Siesta. Even if he got lost, he could check the map to get back in no time. He wouldn’t die so easily. {Healing} could take care of most wounds, so... He’s not in our dungeon’s territory. Why? Keima, where are you?!

Suddenly, Keima appeared on the corner of the map, deep within the forest.

“There he is!” I immediately moved to where he was; with dungeon functions, it only took a second.

“Welcome back, Keima!”

“Yep, it’s good to be back. Sorry for being so late, you must’ve been worried.” Keima looked unhurt and overall fine.

“What were you doing, seriously?”

“I just went on a little walk. Ended up lost so I slept in a cave with a comforter.”

“Come on... At least tell me first. I was worried about you.” E-Eventually.

“Sorry, sorry. But I trusted you. Not like you cried without me there for just one night, right?” said Keima, stroking my head. Hm...? This feels kinda weird. He’s actually like caressing my head, when he usually just kinda pats it.

“Keima, did you eat something weird?”

“I think I ate a fruit I found in the forest. It was nice and sweet.”

“Do you still have any?”

“Nope, not a bit.” Keima shrugged, showing me his empty hands. Okay, something’s definitely weird here.

“Anyway, let’s get back to town. I’m counting on you, Rokuko.”

“O-Okay. Sure, leave it to me.” Hmm... The map says he’s the real thing, but something’s off. In any case, I took Keima back to town with me.

Once back, Keima immediately went to the chief residence to sleep. Or so I thought he would, up until the point where he went to the church instead. There he met with Rei and the Succubi who had just finished mass.

“Master! Welcome back, Rokuko was worried about you. As was I, of course.”

“Sorry, but thanks for worrying. Hopefully you can forgive me—I’ll be sure to give a heads up before I leave next time, okay?”

“Master Keima! Thank you for accepting we Succubi into your home. No amount of thanks could ever express the depth of our gratitude.”

“Uh-huh, I couldn’t bear to let cute girls suffer on their own out there. I’ll make sure you’re all taken care of,” said Keima with a shining smile. Mmmmmm? I mean, he definitely looks like Keima, but still. Something’s just off here. “By the way, did mass go okay?”

“Yes. I introduced Suilla and the others as our new nuns. The Succubi have skills that put their targets to sleep, so they were a great help during prayer.”

“That’s what I like to hear. I knew you could do it, Rei. You’ve never let me down and I love that about you. It’s so nice to have gifted subordinates I can trust. Good work to Suilla, Michiru, and the other Succubi too. I hope we can keep up working together.”

“W-Wow, gifted? Ehehehehe, well, just ask if you need me to do anything else!”

“Thank you very much!” Rei and the Succubi blushed shyly as Keima smiled and complimented them. Weird... Something’s definitely weird here. Keima’s never this much of a chad. But it doesn’t look like Rei and the others are noticing anything. What’s going on here?

“Where’s Niku?”

“I imagine she is in the middle of her usual training regime.”

“Alright. Sorry for interrupting, I’ll go check up on the others,” said Keima as he turned and left the church with a dashing look in his eyes. Check up on the others...? He’s never done that before.

“Master called me gifted... I have the strength to fight for another ten years now!”

“Haaah... I wonder why, but he seemed even more dashing than when I saw him yesterday at the dungeon.” Rei and the Succubi didn’t feel anything was off about him. Do they just have like... an idealized image of him? I do think that when we were talking about him yesterday, we kinda glorified him a bit.

Oh right, I need to follow after him. He’s acting weird right now. I feel like something bad might happen if I’m not around him.

He went to the inn next and I followed. But by the time I got there he had already passed the receptionist desk and was on the way to the cafeteria. Neruneh was behind the desk, but...

“Mwaaaah... So dreamy...”

“Wh-What? Neruneh, what happened? You’re grinning super wide.”

“...Ah, Rokuko... You know, I want to offer up my magic stone to Masteeeer...”

“Bwuh?! Seriously, what happened? What did he do to you?!” Judging by the fact I had entered the inn moments after he did, Keima only had a few seconds to talk to her. What had happened in those seconds?

“...He took my chin, lifted it up... And said my eyes are pretty, like mystic eyes of charm enchantment...” I-I don’t know what that means, but saying things like that must be the key to Neruneh’s heart. And Keima would normally never say those things. There’s definitely something weird about him today.

“Wait, now’s not the time to be thinking! I gotta go to the cafeteria! Kinue, be safe!” I raced to the cafeteria.

“Where’s Keima?!” I burst inside and saw Keima eating a rice ball while chatting with Kinue, a warm smile on his face.

“Your food’s the best I’ve ever had, Kinue. I can feel the love in this rice ball. And it’s not just your food, either. Your cleaning and laundry has love in it that {Purification} just doesn’t have. There’s no one I want taking care of my home more than you.”

“Yes, Master... Please leave it all to me.” I was too late! Honestly, I feel like this is entirely out of my hands now!

“Hold it right there, Keima!”

“Heya, Rokuko. Is something wrong?”

“Don’t ask me if something’s wrong. You’re being weird today, Keima.”

“Weird? I don’t know about that... But if my Rokuko says so, I guess I must be.” My Rokuko...? Did he just say, my Rokuko...?

“Well, I mean, um. Yes. I’m your Rokuko, so I know what’s up. I can notice you acting weird in a split second.”

“That’s my Rokuko for you! You’re a partner I can trust.” Suddenly, Keima hugged me. Wh-What?! What’s happening here?!

“...I love you, Rokuko. You’re the world to me.” He whispered so close to my ears that it tickled. He left it at that and immediately let go of me.

I love you, Rokuko. You’re the world to me. I love you, Rokuko. You’re the world to me... His words spun in my head and a grin formed on my face... Wait, no. I slapped my cheeks. That was close. I’m his trustworthy partner, I can’t let my guard down here!

“Keima! Come with me, right n— Wait, where’s Keima?”

“While you were in a daze, he finished the rice ball and said he was getting back to checking up on the others.” Oh no! How could I let this happen?! I chased after him and found the Silky triplets—Hanna, Nicole, and Pio—sitting on the floor in the hall, blushing deeply. Ngh, what did you do to them, Keima?!

“Where’s Keima?!”

“Fwaah! R-Rokuko!”

“Um, ah, M-Master? W-We just saw him.”

“Righ! Eheheh... He said he was going to the bar.”

“Okay, thanks. And if you’re going to daydream like that, you should go back to your rooms first! You’re off today!” They had probably been cleaning for fun again. I left the daydreaming Silkies behind and went to the bar.

＊ ＊ ＊

It was a normal day in the bar, with adventurers drinking while the sun was still high, when suddenly Keima of all people came walking in.

“Oh, town chief. Wanna come sit down for a drink?” called out Roppe. It was a casual invitation for him to drink with her and Gozou, one she expected him to decline like usual, but today was different.

“Sure, I think I have time for a drink. Having ale today, it looks like?” Keima casually sat next to them. That actually threw Gozou and Roppe off. The ice was broken by Keima first.

“...The truth is, I found some good looking alcohol in the dungeon. Want to drink it with me?” he said, unveiling a glass bottle wrapped in paper.

“Whoa, whoooa! Is that sake, an ultra rare dungeon drop?! Hm... But y’know, it looks different from the kind we found before.”

“This isn’t just any sake, this is daiginjo sake, which is... Well, anyway, just think of it as better sake. I’ve never had any myself before, but let’s change that tonight, Roppe,” he said, taking out clear glass cups and pouring some in.

“Oh man, this sure is looking good... I get it now, this stuff’s so good that even you gotta have a drink of it. But these cups are nice too, they make the stuff look even better.”

“Hey, hey, Keima, you’re gonna let me drink some of that too, right?!” Gozou, frozen in surprise, snapped back to his senses at the smell of alcohol. Keima took out another glass and poured some more.

“But of course. However, ladies come first. Here you go, Roppe, have the special first drink.”

“You sure?! Eheheh, you trying to make me fall for you or something...? Too bad, I’ve got Gozou,” she said, taking a gulp of the sake. It was high quality with a thick flavor. So high quality it even smelled of real fruit. She had never had such a fine gulp of alcohol before.

“...Mmmm! Holy crap, Gozou, this stuff is the best! I almost wanna cry. Ahhhh, y’know, Keima, come to my room later if you’ve got the time.”

“Whoa now, Roppe, it’s good enough to get ye saying that? And Keima, listen hear. I owe ye a lot, but if ye lay your hands on Roppe, I’m gonna... Holy shit, this stuff’s amazing! Hey, Keima, come to my room later if ye’ve got the time.”

“Hahaha, glad you two like it... Mmm, nice and fruity.” Gozou and Keima both drank some themselves.

“Ahhh, y’know, you’ve really screwed us over, Keima. How are we gonna live off cheap old ale now that we’ve had this stuff?”

“Ye can say that again. It’s too good.”

“Guess you don’t want the rest, huh?”

“Idiot! Like hell we wouldn’t! Give us more!”

“Hahaha!”

Eyes fell on their table as they laughed amongst each other. Naturally. Keima had brought top-class sake into a bar filled with people who like drinking enough to drop by at the middle of the day. They were all filled with the desire to have at least a sip, no, at least a drop of this legendary sake!

“Master! Let me have a glass, please, at least a glass! I’m begging you!” There appeared Ichika in a flash of heroism. She had finished dumping all of her cash into the slot machines and thus moved onto begging Keima for free stuff without an ounce of shame.

“Sheesh, I get the feeling you’d do anything for a good drink.”

“No way! I’m only begging like this ’cause it’s you, dude! Don’t be mean, you know what’s uuup! Heeere, I’ll let you rub my thighs, ’kaaay?”

“No need. Here, if you don’t might drinking from my cup,” he said, handing his over half-full cup to Ichika. She replied “Eheh, I owe you one. This is why I love you, Master,” before gulping it down.

“Mmm! Oh no, this is so good I’m legit gonna cry! Mmmn, too good!” The surrounding adventurers saw that, and well. They were already at their limit.

“T-Town chief! I’m a Beddhist. Lemme have a cup too!”

“Hey, hold up! No rushing ahead! Gimme some too, I’ve got some cash on me!”

“That’s how you’re gonna play it?! I’ll pay two silvers, then! And I’m a Beddhist too! Actually, we all are!” The beer lovers crowded around the table. Keima held up a hand and they all fell silent immediately.

“...I’ll give each of you a cup. Of course, out of respect for my honorable Beddhists who have chosen to laze around in a bar despite the good weather, there will be no charge. Lucky break, huh?”

“HELL YEAAAH!” cheered the adventurers.

“But if you want any more than that... I’ve brought two more bottles. I’ll sell them to Wozma and you can all just buy from him instead.” Keima signaled Wozma with his eyes, who in return nodded with an exasperated, amused smile.

“Look at Keima go, he’s even got this bar’s best interests in mind!”

“What a god. Er, wait, he’s the pope. What a pope! Long live Beddhism! Oyasuminasai!”

“It’s drinking time! Oyasuminasai!” And so, chants of the Beddhist prayer “oyasuminasai” echoed throughout the bar.

＊ ＊ ＊

“And that’s what happened! Maaan, Master was one helluva dude today!”

“Okay, in short, I was too late.” Keima was gone by the time I got there. I must have missed him on my way here. Sheesh, how long was I in a daze there? It didn’t feel that long to me.

“Do you know where he went?”

“Nmmm, it sounds kinda like... He’s gonna go for Niku next?” She was right, Niku was the only person he hadn’t seen yet. I told Ichika to keep the gambling down and headed to the garden behind the inn, where Niku usually trained.

“Niku, did Keima come over... here...?!” There I saw Keima lying flat on the ground. What had happened?

“Ah, Rokuko... This is, um.”

“Did something happen?”

“...We sparred a little.” According to Niku, her hand slipped a bit. The fact that Keima was unusually drunk didn’t help, but apparently she had accidentally hit his chin after he moved in a way abnormal for him. It must have been a sweet spot as he fell unconscious from that single hit.

“...He was acting strange, so... I might have intended for this to happen, a bit.”

“Good job, Niku. That’s right, Keima’s been acting weird today!” I took Niku’s hand. Finally, someone else noticed that Keima’s acting weird! I guess the key point is knowing him for long enough.

“...But wait, aren’t you his slave? Doesn’t magic or something stop you from doing that?”

“It was a mock battle, and he said I could, so it was fine.”

“Right, the collar would squeeze if it wasn’t fine...” She might’ve even died if things went poorly.

“Anyway, let’s keep an eye on him. Hopefully he’s back to normal when he wakes up... Niku, help me carry him.”

“Okay. Heave, and... hm?” Niku sniffed after picking up Keima with her back.

“...He smells like Leona.”

“Bwuh?! Does that mean Leona’s transformed into Keima? With {Ultra Transformation} or something?”

“No, he also smells like himself... It’s like her smell has been rubbed onto him,” said Niku while sniffing. I can get her smelling Leona on him, but I’m impressed she can tell it was rubbed onto him.

“Maybe it got on him during the Dungeon Battle?”

“...It smells like it was put on him today.”

“That means Leona did something to him before he came back this morning! That explains why he was acting weird. Niku... What did he do to you?”

“Um, n-nothing much... He just said I always worked hard, and suggested we spar a little, while, um, stroking my tail,” It might have been my imagination, but her cheeks looked kind of red. I see... But since Keima doesn’t usually stroke her tail, I guess it makes sense that she would notice he’s acting weird.

“Okay, anyway, let’s take him to the grande suite. I’ll go ahead and use my Divine Comforter too. It might help out here.”

“Understood.” Well, if Keima’s not back to normal when he wakes up now... Mmmm, that might not be too bad, but it still wouldn’t be good. Normal Keima is best Keima! Sheesh, I can’t believe everyone else doesn’t get that.

“...Which is why I respect you a lot more now, Niku.”

“Hm? What do you mean?”

“Oh, nothing, just talking to myself. Out of everyone else, I’m glad you’re Keima’s dakimakura.”

“...Rokuko, you’re acting weird too.” What? I don’t think so... No way, is Keima’s weirdness rubbing off on me? I guess I’ll have to sleep in bed with him, then. Yes.

“Ngh, where am I... Huh? The grand suite? I feel like has happened before.” Keima woke up just as I was putting the Divine Comforter on the grand suite’s bed.

“Oh, Keima. All awake now? Is your head feeling okay?”

“...Yeah, it’s fine. Oh, wait, is this a dream? A Succubus prank? Huh?” Keima murmured to himself while kind of wavering in place.

“Well, whatever. Come on, Keima, let’s sleep together. I’ve got the bed all ready here.”

“...Yeah, sounds good,” said Keima before starting to strip all his clothes right off.

“K-Keima? Why are you stripping?”

“Why wouldn’t I? I don’t want my clothes to get all wrinkly, so I’m taking them off.”

“Okay, you’re definitely still acting weird, right?!”

“What’re you talking about? Haha, you’re the one being weird. I’m just doing what’s normal.”

No, you’re the weird one! You always sleep wearing clothes! Ah... But I might as well take this opportunity to get a good look at him. His body’s the real deal at least.

“S-So? Aren’t you going to take off your underwear?”

“...Nah, this may be a dream, but I think Haku’ll still kill me if I do that,” said Keima while getting in bed beneath the comforter. I didn’t think Haku would do that, though.

“Well, you’re still a little weird, but that’s okay. Goodnight, Keima.”

“Hm? Ah, yeah, night. Try to keep the teasing down... nzzz...”

And so, Keima fell asleep. Hmmm... “Keep it down” doesn’t have any hard limit, so he’s basically saying I can do whatever I want!

“Okay, Keima, I’m gonna get so much of my smell on you that Leona’s won’t even matter anymore! S-So, when you’re back to normal, I want you to, um, well...” Nnnn! This is too embarrassing! I’m going to bed!