Epilogue

“And so, we’re here. I don’t imagine you mind me leaving you prior to the exit?”

“Yeah. Definitely don’t want you going outside and being seen by anyone.”

“Indeed, especially given that the guards have returned.” Oh yeah, there were some guards Hugo knocked the crap out of. Uh... How long ago was that, anyway? I’m pretty sure I talked to Rokuko at night, and a lot’s happened since then, so it might be morning already? It’s hard to keep track of time inside a dungeon since there’s always light...

“In which case, farewell! May we meet again, Keima, my beloved little sister!” said Core 219 before striking a weird pose and moonwalking away for some unfathomable reason. Flowers bloomed at her feet, but really, I had no idea how she was moonwalking on this vine-covered ground. I was kinda curious. Also, don’t call me your little sister.

“Hugo, this is where we say goodbye. Nothing good will come from us being seen leaving the dungeon together.”

“Aw... Guess we won’t be seeing each other for awhile, Mama... Bye! I’ll finish the mission you gave me, Mama!”

“Thanks. Good luck, and don’t forget to send me a report every now and again, you hear?”

Upon reaching the exit to the dungeon, Hugo gracefully departed on a heroic journey. And immediately had to fight off soldiers trying to capture him, it seemed, so I decided to step away and hide for a bit. Eventually I noticed that I was still transformed into a Succubus, so I canceled the possession. I had been transformed into a Succubus for so long that I was starting to grow accustomed to the Succubus state. That was close.

I grew taller, giving me the line of sight I was used to. Which reminded me that I was naked. I switched into a Wearable Golem set I had in {Storage}.

“...Uhhh, testing?” My voice was back to normal too. Whew. I love freedom! I struck a quiet pose of victory.

“Yuuup. You did good,” said Kosaki.

“You friggin’ bet I did, holy cow. This sucked. I’m never going to transform into a Succubus again.”

“Awww, don’t say that! At least try to transform once a day! Like, before going to bed, or something!”

“Not a chance. Why should I suffer with cross-dressing every day...? Anyway, time for you to be quiet. I’m leaving the dungeon.” I silenced Kosaki and left the dungeon. It was bright outside. Apparently, it was indeed morning already.

“Boy am I tired... Whoa!” The second I stuck my head out of the dungeon, I was surrounded by a group of soldiers in clanking armor. Five of them pointed their spears at me. Not gonna lie, I broke out in a cold sweat. Am I gonna have to break the resolve I just steeled and transform into a Succubus to escape?!

“We are in dire circumstances, so follow our instructions without pulling anything funny! Understood?!”

“Uh, okay?” Thankfully, it seemed that they had problems of their own. I’ll just wait and see for now.

“Forgive our aggression, but first state whether you have any intent to oppose us soldiers of the Tsia army!”

“Uh, er, no. I don’t.”

“Then I will continue my line of questioning!” Wait, I get it. Yeah. They’re super on guard because Hugo just busted through them. This is probably related to us breaking into the dungeon to begin with, too.

“State your name, your Adventurer’s Guild rank, and the date you entered the dungeon, as well as your reason for doing so!”

“Uhhh, I’m Keima. Town chief of Goren and a D-Rank. I’m pretty sure I entered the dungeon yesterday. But I didn’t have a reason for it myself.” I answered the questions honestly, which led to more questions.

“A D-Rank? This is a dungeon that requires a C-Rank to enter. You entered without permission?”

“Yeah, though not on purpose. Hugo of the Last Commune kidnapped me and brought me here. I just now managed to escape the dungeon.” The guards made eye contact, then lowered their weapons.

“Excuse us, Sir Keima. The one we believe to have kidnapped you just left the [Flower Garden of Light] moments ago.”

“Oh, interesting.” They sure got polite fast... Though to be honest, they were pretty polite before, too. Forgive us for our aggression, and so on.

“I’m guessing the Archduke sent you guys?”

“Yes. But we nonetheless needed to be as careful as possible. Please forgive the hassle. Also, you have citizens waiting for you at the rest area,” said the guard, pointing at a building by the dungeon entrance. It was basically a reception office for those entering the dungeon, plus a barracks for the guards.

“...Uh, by the way, is there any punishment for entering a dungeon at too low of a rank?”

“No, not in particular. The rank limit is there to stop individuals too weak to survive the dungeon from entering it.” I had been dragged into the dungeon against my will. It would be pretty unreasonable to punish me with that in mind. All the blame fell on Hugo in the end. Yep, he sure is convenient.

“I imagine that you are tired, so we may return once you have rested. We will send a messenger to the Archduke.”

“Thanks, I think I will,” I said, opening the door to the rest area and going inside.

“Keima!” As expected, Rokuko was there waiting for me. She dashed forward and clung to me the second she saw me.

“You’re safe! I mean, I believed in you! I believed in you, but still!”

“Yep, I’m safe. I managed to protect my rear, too, at a great cost...” I rubbed Rokuko’s head as she nestled into me. A look around the room showed that Ichika was there too. Oh, huh, Niku’s not here.

“Yo, my bad, Master. We were totes gonna go looking in the dungeon for you ourselves, but like, y’know.”

“Don’t worry about it. Where’s Niku?”

“She’s back at Tsia, like, still guarding Maiodore and all that.” Right. I knew that from my tag-based chat with Rokuko, but Niku had prioritized our quest. Not to mention that only C-Ranks could enter the dungeon anyway. She and the others could have gone inside with the B-Rank cards we got from Haku, but I wanted to avoid using those as much as possible.

“And that’s how we ended up stuck waiting for her. I was super surprised when I was watching you on the map and suddenly a tag popped up. But that was the last time you said anything, so if you didn’t get out of the dungeon before Niku showed up, I was going to use the cards we got from Haku.”

“Makes sense. Sorry for worrying you. Gonna have to give Niku a big thanks for her working hard on that quest without me.”

“You should. She’s really depressed that she wasn’t able to stop you from getting kidnapped.” Yeah, I can imagine that. But my thoughts were interrupted by Rokuko feeling my body over.

“So, Keima. That guy didn’t do anything, um, w-weird to you, right? He didn’t kiss you? He definitely didn’t nom on your ears, right?”

“He did nothing. I did nothing. I’m safe and untouched.” I’ll keep quiet about all the close calls I narrowly avoided. All’s well that ends well.

“Really? Like really really? You’re not pregnant or anything?” asked Rokuko, patting my stomach.

“Huh? That doesn’t even make sense, kisses don’t make people pregnant. You should know this, yo— ...” I was about to say that she had mentioned sexual reproduction before, but then I realized something. Was it possible that she knew the phrase “sexual reproduction”, but not what it meant? But I mean, it’s sexual reproduction. You can’t spell it without sex. How could she not know... wait, Auto Translator?!

“Wait, Rokuko. Don’t tell me...”

“Don’t tell you what?” Rokuko tilted her head in confusion. I decided to keep digging.

“...Do you know how babies are made?”

“Ah! O-Of course I do. Kissing, right? Kissing makes eggs and stuff.”

“Absolutely not.” I shot her down immediately. Who fed her this garbage? Judging by the egg stuff, it must’ve been Redra. Does Redra even have kids?

“Bwuh? Really? Mmm, okay. I guess I’ll ask Father how to make kids the next time I see him. I shouldn’t ask Haku, right?” Your dad is literally a god. In Japan gods are born from like, taking off clothes, and washing in a bathtub too many times, that kind of thing. I don’t think he’ll be able to help you.

...Wait. If Dungeon Cores are the children of a god, does that make them gods too? Given that they’re immortal, that might be true. Which means that Rokuko might actually get pregnant from a kiss... Maybe I should ask Haku how Cores have children? No, never mind, I’m scared to ask her. Like, asking the question itself is scary, but I’m more terrified of her saying something like “Cores get pregnant by eating their partner’s heart while it’s still beating.” I would have no way of knowing whether she’s lying or not.

“...Well, let’s put this aside for now.”

“Uh-huh. We can continue when we get back to town.” I would rather we put it aside forever.

“Let’s go back to Tsia once I get a little rest. Niku must be worried sick.”

“Oh, there’s some beds in the infirmary you can use.” Rokuko pointed at an infirmary, which had some beds just like the ones we saw in the Tsia inn all that time ago: hard-looking boxes with a few layers of sheets on them.

...Oh man. Whew. Just looking at a bed hit me with some intense sleepiness. I withdrew my beloved futon from {Storage} and rested it on top of a bed.

“Nmm.” Rokuko casually got in the futon. She acted so natural that I didn’t even think to stop her before it was too late. By the way, she was in teen/adult mode. She probably came here right after I got kidnapped, but still, she was hogging the whole one-person futon to herself.

“...I can’t get in that while you are.”

“Just think of me as a dakimakura, a good old hug pillow. Oh, or would you rather me be in my small form?”

“Don’t change size outside the dungeon, come on. Who knows when a soldier might walk in.”

“Okay then. Come in, Keima,” said Rokuko, holding the blanket to the futon up. Last time she was small Rokuko with the Divine Comforter, but this time she’s big Rokuko with a normal futon’s comforter. I guess they balance out.

“I mean, Ichika’s watching.”

“Bro, if you want me in there as a dakimakura too, I’m all game. Let’s make this happen.”

“Yeah, the futon’s definitely too small for your knockers, give it up.” Ichika gave a teasing smile broad enough to show her teeth. Hahaha, this cow.

“But this is the only futon you have, right Keima?”

It was true that I only had my personal futon in {Storage}. I had spent a ton of DP on all that weedkiller, and the plankton had actually used my last point of DP. Rokuko leaving the futon would solve everything, but it was obvious she had no intention of doing so.

“Now, Keima, give up and come inside the futon. Let’s sleep together.”

“Fine, fine.” I was so sleepy I decided to just listen to Rokuko. For some reason she was all like “Bwuh? Bwuh?!”, but she was the one who said she’d be my dakimakura. There was no reason for me not to hug her like I would a normal daki.

“K, K-K, Keima?”

“Night. I’m seriously tired, so... zzz...”

“Oh, okay. Goodnight, Keima... I guess you never went to sleep last night?”

“Yeah... zzz...” And so, I fell asleep. It was the kind of sleep one could only have when exhausted both mentally and physically.

＊ ＊ ＊

Alright. I slept soundly until noon and was back at the top of my game. To be honest, I could have stood to sleep a little more, but I woke up with Rokuko staring directly at my face. It was kinda hard to fall back asleep with eyes right in front of mine. Anyway, we headed back to Tsia.

We entered Tsia from the east gate. Bonodore must have spread the word about us, as we weren’t charged for entry. Incidentally, the hole in the wall was fixed already. Someone must have told him about it too. Thank goodness, I was worried that loose end wouldn’t get tied up.

We went straight to the Archduke’s residence and there we found Niku sitting by the gate. The second she saw me, she stood up and dashed toward me. She looked exactly like a loyal dog greeting its master. Wait, that’s not even a metaphor, it’s just reality. She clung to me.

“Master... I’m so glad you’re safe...”

“Yep, I’m back.” I patted Niku’s head. She wagged her tail.

“I knew you would be safe, Keima! I believed in you!” Rokuko clung to me from behind too. You’ve already said that. A lot.

And so, I ended up stuck between them, completely immobile. Get off me for a second, please.

We greeted the guard and went inside. We were taken to the parlor. There we saw not only Bonodore, but Maiodore waiting as well.

“It is good to see you safe, Keima.”

“Yep, I’m all good.”

“Hugo. The Last Commune’s number two. Forgive me, he escaped due to our own incompetence. It seems he went after you for revenge, but the fact you’re here safely must mean you safely defeated him.” Oh, right. They don’t know Hugo’s goal was to live a long and peaceful life with me. Naturally, I guess. Time for me to play dumb.

“I was pretty much prepared for the worst when he brought me to the dungeon. It was a close call.”

“You’ll have to forgive me for that too. To think he would defeat the soldiers I sent to the dungeon. According to the report I just received, he escaped even after being jumped on by five soldiers at once. He is quite the skilled warrior, despite being a criminal. If only he used his power for good.”

“If he were an adventurer he’d hit B-Rank easily. With a bit of work, maybe even A-Rank.”

Bonodore nodded. “Keima. You must remain on guard against Hugo, in the event that he returns. This is the result of my own failure. It won’t make things entirely right, but as an apology, I will see to it that you are not charged for entering or exiting Tsia. You may come and go as you like. We will have him dealt with as soon as possible.”

“Yes, thank you.” It seemed that Bonodore had taken quite the liking to me. Though maybe it was a bit late to say that, given how hard he had been trying to hook me up with his daughter.

“Keima.” Maiodore, his daughter, spoke up in a regretful tone of voice. “When you were kidnapped... I was worried sick, wondering what I would do if you never returned.”

“Well, I was your bodyguard, so whatever happened it’d be better than you being harmed.”

“Don’t be dumb. You being safe is way more important than her.” Uh, Rokuko? Do you want to get executed? Huh? I mean, I wouldn’t be saying this if I hadn’t ended up safe, but still.

“I agree that Keima escaping unharmed is ideal, Rokuko.”

“Good. I’m glad you understand.” For some reason, Rokuko was being pretty casual with the Archduke’s daughter. When did these two become friends?

“...May I have a moment, Keima?”

“Er, uh, sure, Bonodore.”

Bonodore gestured me over and so I leaned my ear toward him.

“It seems that Rokuko is, erm, of a very special status. What is her relationship with you, exactly?” Did Rokuko say something about Haku?

“...Before that, can I ask what Rokuko told you?”

“Ahhh, er, well. Actually, nothing. She told me nothing. Indeed, nary a word.” Bonodore backed off without hearing the answer to his question. He must have decided he was better off not knowing. Yeah... I’m gonna have to ask Rokuko about this later. She definitely said something she shouldn’t have.

“Oh, yes. Keima. About your engagement to Maiodore.” Oh, I completely forgot about that.

“...Ahhh, well, I’m not so sure about it.”

“I feel the same way, and after some thought, I settled on a compromise. What if Kuroinu were to marry her instead?” I didn’t even know how to reply. Rokuko, who had been listening beside me, tilted her head briefly, then nodded. “Well, as long as it isn’t Keima.”

“To be clear, Mai is a girl.”

“But Kuro’s a girl too,” I protested.

“I know. Indeed, I know. But two girls marrying each other is not unprecedented within the nobility,” explained Bonodore.

It seemed that noble families sometimes used children of the same gender as pawns in political marriages. Under normal circumstances, such marriages would end then and there with no children to stir discontent in the future, but this world had a loophole. There existed a series of magic drugs known as the Chaos Drugs, and among them was the “Futanaruu” potion. It had the effect of disturbing one’s gender. Those who drank the potion would become both a girl and a boy — also known as a futanari.

In short, if either one of them drank that potion, there would be no problem gender-wise with the marriage. Naturally, it was forbidden for commoners to make and consume the drug, but exceptions could be made with the permission of those in power.

“I acquired a Futanaruu potion by coincidence recently. I had set it aside, having no use for it, but perhaps now is the perfect opportunity.” Judging by the name of the potion and how he just recently got it, I could guess this was all Leona’s work. Thank you so much, Leona. Always great to have you around.

Incidentally, aside from the Futanaruu potion, there was also the “Maraha L,” “Saoki L,” and “Tee S” drugs for changing gender. “Tee S,” a drug that would change your gender, was no doubt a code for “transsexual.” Yeah, this is definitely Leona fucking around. C’mon.

“Uhhhh... I would like to know what they themselves have to say about this.” I glanced at Kuro.

“If it’s for your sake, Master... I will gladly do it.” O-Oh man, she’s serious about this. I’ve never seen her eyes brimming with this much determination. Is this her trying to make up for me getting kidnapped? Don’t worry, I don’t think less of you! If you don’t want to get married, you don’t have to! Anyway... What about Maiodore?

“I do not mind either. Kuro is kind and strong, so much so it would be fair to call her the ideal partner. By marrying her I will secure a positive relationship with Goren and Tsia, so indeed, I have no issue with this.” Whaaaat... I mean, really? The archduke thinks Kuro and I are family, so this kinda makes sense, but everyone else thinks she’s just a slave. And her name is still, well, her name.

“...Uhhh, and which of them would drink the potion?”

“We can worry about that when the time comes. It takes approximately a year for the potion to take complete effect. Not to mention, we might think of a better plan before it comes to that.” Oh wait, I get it now. The archduke’s just trying to buy time here. Alright, alright. Makes sense. I mean, Niku’s a slave. No way would the archduke actually want his daughter to marry an actual slave. Okay, I’m game. I’ll try and find a better way out for Niku and Maiodore before then in the meanwhile.

“Alright then. I’ll agree to Kuro being engaged to Mai... but on the condition that either of them can end the engagement if any problems occur.”

“Yes, that’s fair. It will be done.” Bonodore and I exchanged a firm handshake. Negotiation complete. I wasn’t sure what they were getting out of it, but personally, I had indirectly obtained access to the Divine Pillow. My one objective here was complete. Heck yeah.

“Incidentally, Keima. It seems that Maiodore has taken great inspiration from what you’ve told her.”

“Huh? Uhhh... What might you be talking about?”

Bonodore grinned, likely hiding some sort of scheme.

＊ ＊ ＊

And so, we finally returned to Goren. We got off the carriage. Naturally, not much had changed over the two weeks or so that we were gone.

“Welcome back, Master!” chanted the three Silky triplets in unison.

“Yep, I’m back.” Somehow, seeing them made me feel like I had been gone for a very, very long time.

“Yep... Goren Town, I’m home!”

“Oh, Keima, hold on.” Rokuko scooted in front of me, then turned around in front of the Silkies. “Okay. Say it again, Keima.”

“G-Goren Town, I’m home...?” It was a little embarrassing to repeat that line, but after I did, Rokuko gave a bright smile.

“Mhm. Welcome home, Keima.”

“...Yeah.” Guess she wanted to welcome me back.

“Yup yup, looks like Master and the wifey are all happy again. Isn’t that just great, Niku?”

“Yes. I’ll need to work hard as well.” Ichika gave a goofy grin and Niku clenched her fist with resolve.

“Kuro, I will study hard as well! You shall not be disappointed!” And finally, Maiodore’s drilled blue hair shook as she pumped her fist.

...Indeed. Maiodore (with an accompanying maid). After a discussion with Bonodore, it was decided that Maiodore should come to Goren as part of her studies. Apparently he wanted her close to me such that I could continue teaching her, and he would even send over a gold every month as payment. I said I didn’t really have much to teach her, but he was fine with her just living here in general, and in the end I just bent to his request because I didn’t have a good enough reason to refuse him.

No reason to turn down a stable source of income, at least. He would be sending the money in the form of a donation to the Beddhist church, so at the very least, I didn’t have to do anything to earn it.

Anyway, all that said, you could travel to Tsia and come back to Goren in a single day. She could come and go as she pleased. That meant he probably had some kind of secret goal to all this beyond just her studying here. It’s possible he just wants Mai and Niku to get to know each other more... Eh. This is too much to think about.

“...Alright, time for bed. I’m gonna sleep the rest of the day away!” I was too tired to think. I was still exhausted from everything that had happened. I just wanted to go to bed and rest for a long while.

“I feel like you always want to sleep, Keima, but this time I can totally understand.”

“Yup, I’ve earned this. I worked way too hard this time. Thus, I sleep. Me, tired. Bed, happy.”

“Mmm, you’re starting to go crazy. Oyasuminasai, Keima.”

“Yep, oyasumi.”

Rokuko saw me off and I went to my room. Niku tagged along to be my dakimakura.

“Good work this time, Niku.”

“...Fwaah.” Niku wagged her tail happily as I patted her head.

“Wait, should you be leaving Maiodore behind?”

“It’s fine. She asked me to go.”

“Alright. Well... Uhhh, you kinda just ended up engaged to her, but listen. You can end the engagement whenever you want. Say something if you’re unhappy, alright? Don’t bottle it up inside, don’t sacrifice yourself for me. If you’re unhappy, just end the engagement.”

“Understood, Master.”

Things basically ended up with Niku sacrificing herself to compensate for me not marrying Mai. I need to get my hands on the Divine Pillow and find a way to end this engagement as soon as possible.

“...Anyway, time for bed.”

“Yes!”

That day, I slept extremely soundly with Niku as my dakimakura.